Where's Freedom?
by Ratts
Summary: WHISPERING HEART, Part Two: DISCONTINUED
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **Ryan's a self-concious wolf prince that is also an alpha. He feels different, looks different, and acts different, yet different can be good, right? He's madly in love with Paul, someone who's a little different himself. Ryan knows he hurts, but how can you help someone who can't be helped?

**YOU WILL NOT UNDERSTAND THIS STORY IF YOU HAVEN'T READ _WHISPERING HEART!_**

**Warning: **You know the the drill. Rated M for a reason.

**This will be told strictly from Ryan's point of view, so I hope that doesn't disappoint anyone. **

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**Where's Freedom?**

**_Chapter One_**

You can plan and predict and hope for the best, but more often than not what you planned wasn't possible, what you predicted didn't happen, and the hope you once felt had long since faded. I'm damn glad that crap hasn't happened to me! How depressing would that be? Brutally depressing, because I know, I was lying, it's all happened. My plans as a pup didn't quite go the way they were supposed to, everything I predicted kind of crumbled around me, however, hope was something I had plenty of, or at least that's what I kept telling myself.

Life has a funny way giving you limes, lots and lots of limes, when all you really wanted and needed was that one perfect lemon. There's nothing really wrong with limes, they're nice and all, yet you just can't make lemonade with limes. Yes, you could certainly make limeade, but it would never be the same and it would never in a million years quench your thirst. You'd simply be settling for second best.

Paul Lahote is my lemon, and when I say he's perfect in every single way... I'm lying, I do that sometimes, but that's not the point. When I think of him I just know that he is the wolf for me, he's my husband to be, and if it were physically possible for two dude's to have babies that's exactly what we should be doing – it's not possible, but it doesn't mean we couldn't try. Oh, how I yearn to try.

When visualize him I see the epitome of a beautiful wolf, and no, I'm not ashamed to say that summer is my favourite time of year if only for the fact that 90% of the time Paul is shirtless. Yes, I ogle him and yes I touch him as much as I possibly can without being _too_ obvious. It's not my fault he has gorgeous copper abs that I can't help but want to run my tongue over, and his pecs, dear god, I want to bite them! Don't even get me started on his muscular thighs or the shape of his arms and the way his clavicle defines his chest.

As for the wolf's face I don't know what to say other than I'm in love with the way he looks at me with his deep brown eyes and I could only imagine what it'd feel like to have his beautiful lips tasting me - anywhere, please. Pretty please? Pretty please with a cherry on top? Perhaps I sound desperate, though that's just not the case – I'm distinctly and fiercely obsessed. Yeah, I know, neither of those are particularly healthy options and yes the latter of the two is probably worse, but what's a hormonal 16-year-old wolf prince to do?

When I was a pup I had my heart set on imprinting on him and when the day rolled around where I finally shifted for the first time you better believe the first thing I did when I was back in my human form was seek out Paul. He wasn't hard to find, he was never hard to find, but when I looked into his mysterious and guarded eyes nothing happened. I felt it though, I felt a connection, I knew I was supposed to imprint and I was so close too. I was like a volcano about to erupt. I could feel the pressure building and the magma was getting closer and closer to overflowing, yet right when it reached the tip everything stopped and fizzled. I was devastated.

Paul didn't hesitate to pull me into his lap even though I was little too big for it. He wrapped his strong and masculine arms around me and held me as I cried. Maybe I was being a bit of a baby for an 11-year-old, but my heart was crushed. For close to six years I was so confident that he was my mate and it felt like he had been ripped away from me. I knew he was mine, yet it seemed like fate was telling me otherwise.

When my cries quieted and my tears slowed I told him I still loved him anyway. I told him I needed him with every fiber of my being. I told him I was his and that I needed him to be mine. I told him that I didn't care what fate thought. I told him he was my mate and that's just how it was and would always be. In a horrible attempt to prove my point I rested my lightly tanned hands on his copper cheeks and pressed my lips to his.

It hardly lasted even a second, although a beautiful millisecond it was. It hurt all the way into the deepest depths of my tender soul that Paul had so quickly pushed me away and removed me from his lap. It didn't matter to me that I was only 11 and that he was 23 – he was my wolf, my man, my everything and I wanted him to kiss me like my parents kissed each other.

With my heart thudding in my chest like a herd of wild horses were running through it I rose to my knees by his side and tried once more to feel his lips on mine. I didn't even get close before he stopped me. His gaze turned intense and he eyed me so seriously it was scary. "Sweetheart, you're too young to understand what love truly is. You don't need me like you think, you'll never need me and we'll never be mates. It doesn't matter how hard you wish for it, puppy, it's just one of those things that will never be. Ryan, know that you'll always be my angel. My perfect, pure, living, and breathing angel." Paul explained this to me as he delicately ran his fingers through the side of my long hair while he gave me small though rare smile. I understood that he was trying to be nice, though, honestly, it felt like I had just watched him take my already broken heart and smash the small bits with his bare hands until it was nothing but dust only to then proceed by blowing the remains away with his breath. Yeah, sure, I may be his angel, but I learnt that day that I'm also his lime.

After that day things were never the same. He didn't allow me on his lap, he didn't hold me anymore and if I tried to hug him he'd push me away before I could even get my arms around him. I had my parents, but he was my rock and my rock crumbled out from underneath me. Slowly, but surely he disappeared completely from my life and to this day I can't stop thinking about what was so wrong with me that after years of being my everything he all the sudden didn't want to be my anything.

Nothing in my life leading up to our last real moments together could have ever prepared for the unmistakable feel of abandonment he burdened me with. "You're giving me a kitty?" I queried as I sat at the end of my bed with my wide green eyes on the wide green eyes of another. I cocked my head as I held the little white fluff ball in my hands and lifted it out in front of me. "It kind of looks like me." And it did. When in wolf form I was pure white with not so much as a speck of another colour on me and my bright green eyes remained the same, just bigger. My coat was terrible for camouflage in the forest, unless it was winter – in that case you'll _never_ find me.

Paul chuckled in his perfect deep and rumbling way. It gave me goosebumps just to think about it. "He's yours and I think that's why I like him so much – he reminds me of you."

I blushed lightly and placed the teensy kitten to my lap. "Do you like the way I look as a wolf then?" I asked while hoping beyond hoping that he'd say yes.

Paul sat on the edge of my bed next to me and since he had started pushing me away I felt a closeness I hadn't felt in months with him as his eyes met mine. To stop myself from throwing _me_ at him I scratched behind the kitty's ears and stroked the soft fur along it's back. He gave me happy purrs in return. "I have never seen a more beautiful boy than you nor have I ever seen a better looking wolf." I smiled sheepishly at Paul. He was such a liar, but it made me feel good that _he _was trying to make _me_ feel good. "But," Isn't there always a but when things were just getting good? "I need to talk to you about something, angel."

I frowned anxiously at the wolf and wiggled myself closer to him until my small thigh was touching his big one. 'Needing to talk' _never_ lead to good news. "Paulie," I said as I gazed into his brown and soulful eyes. "promise me you won't make me sad."

I watched his Adam's apple bob in his throat and his confident demeanour evaporate. "Sweetie, I can't promise you that."

"No." I whined as I twisted to the side and tucked my face beneath his arm in effort to get him to wrap his arm around my shoulders and hold me. Though, like he'd been doing for months prior he pushed me away. "Paul, please!" I whined while I tried again to make him hold me. This time he slid me all the way across to the other side of the bed and then sat back on the other.

The wolf faced me, his eyes meeting mine and by the pained and stressed look in them I knew something bad was about to happen. "Ryan, our relationship, or whatever we have going on between us is very unhealthy and it's not right."

"What?" I gasped with my eyes quickly fogging.

"All these years it was wrong of me to love you the way I did. The moment you started talking about us being mates when you were just a little puppy I should have put a stop to everything. Hell, I shouldn't have even let it get to that. But, the point is I never stopped you, Ryan, and you have no clue how guilty I feel for it. I let you believe in things simply because I didn't want to hurt you by telling you otherwise. I really did think you'd grow out of it, but now we're here and I can't help but see the giant mistake I made staring me right in the face. You're still a baby, just 11 years old, angel, yet you claim to have such grown-up feelings for me. I'm an adult and I can't let things go on anymore."

I gazed at _my_ wolf with watery eyes and sunk my fingers into the fur of the kitten to feel it's purrs. "I know we're just friends, you said that when I phased. I don't know what you're saying, Paul." I bit my bottom lip and held back a whimper.

"I'm leaving, Ryan. That way you can finally move on."

My brows pinched and my small nose crinkled as I tried to decipher what he said. "Move on? Leaving?" I questioned him.

"Angel," He breathed. "I'm so bad for you."

I looked down at the kitty then back up at the wolf. "Are you leaving me and trying to replace yourself with a stupid cat?" I exclaimed as I felt a few tears escape me. I immediately brushed them away. Forget him? Did he know how impossible that would be?

Paul shook his head. "No, puppy, I'm not trying to replace myself. I just want you to have something to love and look out for." He told me.

"Well, I don't want it! My dad hates cats anyway!" I was about to smack the thing off my lap, but when it stared up at me with those beady though sparkling and innocent eyes I just couldn't. So, in a lacklustre display of my rage I picked the kitten up lightly and carefully and gently placed it to the floor. Yeah, that'll show him.

Paul stood from my bed and made his way to my door. "Then don't keep him." He sighed.

"Where are you going?" I shot back in a worried rush.

"I told you. I'm leaving, puppy."

I jumped up to my feet. "Now?" I bellowed.

He opened my door and looked back at me. "Now." He confirmed. Like the pitiful love-struck mess I was I bolted to him and threw my arms around him. He couldn't go, there's just no way – I'd never let him!

Hot tears stung my eyes as I lacked understanding for the entire situation. I still didn't know what I had done so wrong to make him want to leave and I just didn't understand how me loving him could be so bad. "Paulie, no, please. I'll be good. I promise I'll be good." I bawled as I pressed my face into his shirt around his ribs while I connected my hands behind him. I wouldn't let go of him. I absolutely refused.

With me latched onto him for dear life he backed out of my room as he tried to pry himself free of me. I could tell he was being gentle and trying not to hurt me because he couldn't get me off. "Take him." I heard him say. I whipped my head to the side two see my two dad's and immediately any restraint on my emotions broke.

"No!" I wailed. "Please, Paul, Please!" With a saddened scowl on my father's face he strode forward and with his strong russet hands he pulled me from my wolf. As if my eyes were stormy rainclouds my cheeks were poured on – my father, the wind, was blowing me away from my sun. Did nobody know that I needed my sun? He was the light in my greyish life. He brightened and warmed me when I felt dark and cold. What's a world without it's sunshine?

Without so much as looking at me he took off in a hurried walk in the direction of the stairs. The moment my father's grip slackened on my shoulder I ran after Paul. My sneakers squeaked on the marble floor as I ran, yet just before making it down the first step of the staircase a cool set of arms held me back. The wolf was already at the bottom and heading straight for the door.

"Paul!" I screamed – he didn't so much as flinch or look back.

My father came to my side as my dad held my back against his front, his arms encircling my shoulders to both comfort me and keep me in place. Father placed his hands on the black banister to my left and squeezed, his fingertips turning white. "Don't you think you're being a little rash about this?" He called down to Paul

"No." I heard Paul grumble as he pulled open the front door. I gripped my dad's arms as I begged for him to let me go so I could get to the wolf. He didn't budge and my tears fell faster and sobs made it hard to breath.

"Jesus, Paul, look at what you're doing to him. How can this be what you want?" My father asked him.

The wolf turned around in the doorway and he had the worst most miserable expression on his face. "He's just a puppy, he'll get over it."

"Will he?" My dad asked as he gripped my small hands in his.

"I won't, Paulie. I won't." I bitterly wept. "Please." I continued. "Don't you love me anymore?"

Paul groaned as I watched the muscles in his jaw tense while he ran a hand through his silky cropped hair. "No." He breathed. My knees gave way and the spot where my heart used to be turned into a black hellish hole. My dad lowered me to the floor and I pressed my hands to my face as I bawled... I just bawled.

To my side my father shook in his spot, his temper slowly getting the better of him. "Paul, if you fucking do this... If you leave, if you can just walk away from Ryan you never deserved my son in the first place."

I peeked through my fingers to view the wolf and I hated what I saw – teary eyes just like my own. "I never thought I did."

"You do!" I cried into my palms. "Tell me what you want. I'll do anything, just don't leave me!"

"Stop thinking you love me, angel. That's all I want."

My hands fell to my lap as my brows pinched. "Tell me how you did it then!" I screamed through my tears. "Tell me how I'm supposed to look at you and not love you!"

Paul wiped at his eyes before any tears escaped. "Ryan, just look at somebody else."

The wolf was right. I never saw him again. So, when I said I ogle and touch him, I lied; it's only in my dreams. Five long years later and I'm still madly in love with Paul. I haven't forgotten him for even a moment and I swear he hasn't forgotten me either. There are rare nights when I find myself gazing out my bedroom window into the black and I see a flash of a silvery coat along the treeline or the reflection of the light in a wolf's eyes. I know it must be him. I can feel it. Then again I could be deluding myself into thinking these things – wishing these things, and no, I've never stopped wishing that he'd come home.

Sometimes I wonder what I'd do if Paul did come home. Sometimes I think I'd just fall to my knees like big old baby and beg him to tell me what the heck I did so wrong to make him hate me, while other times I think the second I saw him I'd yell for the guards and have him sent straight to purgatory and have him hung on the wall just because he broke my heart. Ultimately, I'd never do either but if I had to choose he'd be headed for purgatory. I may love him, but I'm still the prince and there's not a chance in hell that I'd get on my knee's for anybody.

Did that last part sound good? Because I was lying. Told you, I do that sometimes. I'd never send that wolf to purgatory. I'd sooner go there myself, and lord knows that I'd be a prized piece of meat down there. So, if it isn't already obvious I'd definitely get on my knees for Paul and there are plenty enough good reasons why I'd be _oh so_ willing. Okay, perhaps I am little desperate after all.

Though, now, as I stand in my bathroom gazing at myself in the mirror above the sink I can't help but hate what I see and I just have to wonder if Paul would too. My lips were full, too full, and pink, too pink. My nose was proportionate and a light dusting of freckles added a bit of 'cuteness' into the mix – I didn't want cute. My eyes were a vivid green and my lashes framed my eyes in such a way that it made them really stand out, almost pop in a way with the aid of my brows. As for my eyebrows they were naturally arched and somewhat thin and the color of them matched my brunette hair that had lightened over the years. Two bobby pins held back some of my hair behind my head while loose curls hung in waves by my cheeks – a hair style I remember fondly on my father from a long time ago.

I sighed as I ran a few fingers down my smooth cheek and across my _hideous_ lips. If I could rip off my face and replace it with another, any other, I would. I don't necessarily think I'm ugly, but if I needed a word to describe myself it would be androgynous. My looks were soft, pleasing to the eye, but effeminate. I despised my girly features and I knew getting rid of my hair would help, but it was just one of those things I couldn't bear to part with. And, yes, if it isn't obvious enough it's because of Paul.

I can remember the exact feel of his hands running through my hair like it was yesterday. It always felt the best when his fingers would comb their way through to remove a braid, plus every time it was followed by the same complement. "I always like your hair this way, angel. The waves are beautiful." I can hear his deep loving voice in my head as if he were right here saying it to me out loud. I longed for that stupid voice and I longed for that stupid complement. I hate when people call me pretty, I don't want to be pretty. I want to be handsome, ferocious, scary, and intimidating, but I'm far - like a bajillion light years far - from any of those things. I'd be pretty for Paul, though.

I'm happy to say my body has nothing feminine about it. I certainly don't look like the typical wolf, but I have to thank whatever merciful gods that could be floating around in the sky that I didn't end up built like a woman. I'm not buff, or even remotely big by any means, but I like to think that I have a very typical body for a 16-year-old human boy. So, basically, I'm not impressive by any means, but I think I've got a nice set of arms. My abs are close to non-existent, but they are there! I have them, they're just hiding. My stomach is mostly flat and smooth, though my pecs – not that I really think I have a right to call them that – are somewhat defined. My legs, well, what can you really say about legs? They're legs. They've got muscle, I could run forever if I needed to. They aren't sticks, but they aren't logs either. I think my shoulders are alright. They're a happy medium. They're not too big and not too small and they suit my boyish body and my effeminate face.

"WHATTYA DOIN'?" I gasped and jumped about a foot in the air as I swung around to see a guffawing Emily standing in the doorway.

"Must you do that?" I hissed.

She clutched her stomach as she bent forward in laughter. "Oh, you're just too easy, Ryan!"

I scowled and furrowed my brows. "That's your highness to you." I growled as I tried, and failed to hold back my smile. She was such a beautiful girl, yet she insisted on having her shiny black hair in a constant messy ponytail, wearing loose fitting ripped jeans and t-shirts featuring obscure bands that I doubted ever existed in the first place. I honestly didn't know whether to call her a tomboy or just a girl that didn't care. Either way it was a far cry from how she dressed as a pup. She once loved dresses and anything pink, however, things change – a fact I'm well aware of.

Emily straightened and leaned against the door frame. "You can suck my dick if you think that's going to happen." She nonchalantly said.

I laughed a bit and I rolled my eyes as I shook my head. "What kind of lady are you?" I playfully questioned as I walked by her and into my room which is now on the first floor and a lengthy distance front my parents', plus it makes it much easier for a certain human to sneak in and out my window at night.

"The kind of lady that can kick your ass!" She bellowed as she strode across the floor and leapt onto my back.

"Emily!" I exclaimed as I tripped forward because of her unexpected weight. While laughing she wrapped her legs around my waist and clung to my shoulders. "How much do you weigh, you dunce cow?" I yelled at her.

She leaned forward while brushing my hair out of my face and pressed a wet kiss to my cheek. "I love it when my alpha yells at me. I don't know if it's the authority in your tone or the fact it makes me all hot and steamy to get called such degrading names. No, no, it's definitely a mixture of both." I turned my head to the side to eye the girl and she gave me a funny little grin as she closed her sparkling brown eyes while she pursed her lips in my direction – getting the hint I craned my neck and gave her a light kiss on her soft mouth. She opened her eyes and smiled and pressed yet another sloppy kiss to my cheek. "I love you Mr. Lahote."

"As I love you Mrs. Biers." Yeah, we're losers. Those are the last names of our 'lovers', Riley and Paul, it's a little inside joke we have going on. However, Emily has actually gotten her man and they've already begun they're happily ever after. Naw, I'm lying, she's just as hopeless as me.

"Oh god!" She shouted while throwing her head back slightly. "I want to ravish that leech!"

Walking forward I tucked my arms her under legs to help hold her up. I bent at my door and she reached over me to open it. "It always sounds weird when you say things like that about my dad's brother." I said as I entered the hall and headed for the foyer.

Emily rested her head on my shoulder facing me. She blinked and sighed. "It's not my fault your uncle is so dang cute. I could listen to him blabber on about nothing for hours, days, oh for the love of all that is holy, even years! Give me, sweet, sweet years!"

"Except you can hardly even get your husband to talk to you."

"Yes, but at least he knows I exist, unlike _your_ husband."

I chuckled and pinched her leg. She retaliated by pulling my hair. "We're just going through a rough patch is all. We're on a break, a breather per se. We needed to experience other people and have a life beyond each other. He was simply smothering me, Emily."

"Oh man, do I ever know what you mean! There are nights where Riley just can't keep his hands off me. I tell him I have headache or that I'm just tired, but the bloodsucker has it for me bad. He's begged you know."

"Begged?" I gasped.

"Yes, begged. I'm just _that_ good."

"You know you two are 100% psycho creeps, right?" James queried as we reached the entrance of the foyer where he waited for us. The human made me look small. He had buff arms, nice pecs, abs and everything sexy galore, plus he was a lot taller. His wavy blonde hair and the ocean blue eyes he had were kind of catch too. Like Emily I rarely saw him without his hair tied loosely behind his neck. Unlike her, it suited him.

"I think it's one of the most endearing qualities my darling has." I replied as I gazed lovingly at female wolf on my back.

"If people heard you two talk..." James deadpanned.

Emily laughed into my shoulder. "Jamie, my man, they have and that's why they avoid us." I dropped Emily to her feet and we all headed into the open space where we then went to the front door. James being the total gentleman he typically isn't waited for me to open the door for Emily and him.

"What am I, chopped liver? You walk right by me and don't even say goodbye." I turned around to view my father, the king, his majesty. I frowned, why are parents so needy?

I left my friends and walked up to my father and wrapped my arms around his waist – the top of my head just barely passing his shoulders. "There there." I mockingly consoled him as my father tightly wrapped his arms around my shoulders. Shuffling us slightly so my friends couldn't see I nuzzled my face into his chest. I told myself it was for him, but I felt my wolf purr in delight and to be honest I loved it just as much too.

"I love you, daddy." I whispered.

"_I love you, daddy._" Emily teased in a stupid little voice that couldn't possibly sound like my own.

"Shut up, Emily!" I yelled into my father's chest so it ended up coming out muffled.

I let go of my father and took a step back as his hands came to my face and he leaned in and tucked kiss into my hair. "Love you too, puppy."

My brows furrowed and I scowled up at my father. "I'm not a puppy anymore."

"You'll always be one to me." I rolled my eyes. I thought it was kind of odd to think of me as puppy when I almost looked the same age as him and my dad. "So where are you going?" He asked me.

I looked to the two idiots that I just so happened to love pretty damn dearly. "Where are we going?" They both shrugged. I looked back to my father. "Out." I said.

"Wow, well that's real specific. Do me a favour and take a few guards with you."

"Err, let me think about that..." I cocked my head and tapped a finger to my lips as I pretended to think. "Yeah, uh, no."

"I could make you take them."

I sighed. "I'd just order them back."

"I'd order them to stay with you."

I smiled a little evilly. "I'd order them to drown themselves in the ocean."

"Ryan! Ya brat!" My father went to mess up my hair but I swatted his hands away from me. Not. The. Hair. "Fine go. Don't get into too much trouble."

I backed up toward the door. "Oh, you know, we'll just be doing the regular thing. Snortin' blow, drivin' fast cars and getting bitches pregnant."

"Says you." Emily huffed as she crossed her arms across her ribs. "I have one to many baby momma's as it is. Did you know those ho's _actually_ expect me to give them money? Who do they think they are? Women! Pfft!"

James slung his arm around her shoulders as I turned to face them. "So just blow and fast cars for you then?" He asked her.

"That and turnin' tricks." Emily held out her hand to the human. "Five bucks and I'll be on my knees for you, baby."

James shook his head and smiled. "You're not worth half that much, _baby_."

"Well, you kids run along now." My father chuckled. "Have fun with those bitches and remember to keep yourselves hydrated if you're going to be doing all that blow. Oh, and don't forget your seat belts!" I looked over my shoulder as we headed out the door and gave him cutesy but smug little wave and grin. As soon as the door slammed behind us we took off in a run toward the beach.

"Why the hell does your dad have to be the fucking king?" James hissed as he ran. "He always makes me feel like I've done something wrong."

"Well, you see, when a man meets a woman..."

"Truthfully, I think it's a miracle Ryan was even born. Out of how many sperm and _he_ was the fastest. I think the rest took a wrong turn, really. That's the only thing that explains it." I shot an angry glare Emily's way and shoved her as we ran. She stumbled and smacked into James causing him to take quite the tumble to the grassy ground. Ugh, humans, so uncoordinated!

Emily and I burst out laughing as we slowed and turned back to him. Emily held out her hand to him and pulled him up. "Curs, the both of you." He grumbled.

"Awe." I said as I wrapped my arm around James' as we walked on. "Anything you need me to kiss better?"

He held out his right hand to me. "I fell on it funny." He complained. "My wrist hurts."

I lifted his arm to me by his forearm and pressed my lips to his wrist to give it a kiss. "There, a kiss from a prince fixes everything." I tried to say without laughing.

The human frowned. "Well you must be a fake because it didn't work." He replied with a smirk. I let go of his arm and shoved him away.

Coming to a line of bushes we pushed our way through and came out onto the sandy beach. The ocean was calm and the wind was warm and refreshing and we trailed along the beach mostly in silence until the palace was far out of sight. Finding a good spot we all kicked off our shoes and stuck our socks inside them. "So, you two thinking what I'm thinking?" I questioned them as I sent sly glances their way.

Emily smirked at me as she popped the button to her jeans undone. She slid the zipper down and let the jeans fall to her feet to reveal a black pair of panties. She stepped out of them and cast her eyes to James as she crossed her arms and lifted up the hem of her shirt to reveal her braless chest. She dropped her shirt on top of her pants and even though we've seen the goods she covered her small breasts with her arms. "So, you boys know the deal." She stated very seriously. We both nodded in confirmation as we removed our own shirts. Her smirk turned to a grin. "Last one in is a rotten egg!" She hollered as she took off in the sand and toward the salty water.

James and I darted after Emily. "Cheater!" He shouted. Clumsily we ran through the sand as we pulled our pants off and left them strewn on the beach. The water splashed as we waded into it – Emily already up to her shoulders. "Oh, Ryan, wait." James said to me as the water reached our hips. Okay, his hips, my navel.

We faced each other and he smiled softly at me. He reached behind my head with his two hands and gently tugged the two bobby pins from my hair. "Turn around." He instructed me. He stuck the two pins between his lips and pulled his elastic from his hair. Doing as told I turned my back to him. He brushed his creamy fingers through my hair to gather it behind my head. With the elastic he pulled it all into a tight bun and he used the pins to hold a few stray hairs in place. I turned back around and returned the smile he was giving me. "Here." He breathed as he lifted a hand and pulled some hair free in the front to frame my face with the wavy strands. "Now it's perfect. I know you don't like getting it wet." I couldn't help but notice how the back of his fingers lightly brushed against my cheek as his arm went back to his side.

I took a step toward James so his chest was only a hairs breadth away. I lifted my arms and combed my hands through his thick blonde hair until it suited my liking. It hung just above his shoulders and I scrunched my hands near the roots to fluff it up a bit. "Do I look sexy?" He asked with a flirty smile.

I cocked my head cutely and slightly pursed my lips. "No, I've never really had a thing for the dirty hippie and a face only a mother could love kind of look." I playfully joked. If there's one thing that you need to know about James – I'm his lemon, or at least very close to it, although this lemon will never ripen. Not only is he my lime, but he's 100% straight... or so he says. He loves my face, adores my hair, he doesn't mind my flat chest, and the small abs he can put up with, but the further south you go is a venture he'll never take – not that I'd let him.

I've thought about trying to be with him just in an effort to forget about Paul, though even if forgetting the wolf was possible, which it's entirely not, James and I would never work. I really don't see how it could with him only loving me for my face and personality, yet is completely repulsed by the schlong between my legs, plus I'd never love him the way he deserves. I'd only ever like him and for completely superficial reasons at that. He's my best friend, just like Emily, and I think it's probably a good idea if him and I just stick to our midnight masturbation sessions.

This is probably where I should say I'm lying, but I'm not. I've said this once and now I'll say it twice: What's a hormonal 16-year-old wolf prince to do? I just so happen to love it when he sneaks through my window every few nights only to wake me up by crawling onto my bed and pulling off my covers. Sometimes he'll kiss me, sometimes I'll kiss him and sometimes we don't kiss at all. Either which way I always end up on one side of the bed and him on the other while we jerk off together. I'd say it's weird, but it's not. It's mutually beneficial if anything. He likes to watch my face while I get off and I just like watch him get off, period.

I may be in love with another man, but I still have needs and masturbating with a bit of eye candy in front of me just so happens to meet my needy requirements. For what it's worth I'm a virgin. Can you guess who I'm saving myself for? Okay, now I'm lying. That would just be odd and a little creepy if I was keeping my 'virtue' for Paul. With that said he can come along anytime and take it. It's _all_ his.

I don't exactly have a reason as to why I haven't had sex yet. I've had _plenty_ of opportunities, and by plenty I mean none. Though, truthfully, the thought of having sex just for the pleasure of it and sleeping around only because I could doesn't really sound appealing to me. Go ahead and call me a prude, but it kind of grosses me out. I know my father was a big slut in his day – that's no secret, and it's actually pretty daunting to be in his shadow. Firstly, I'm _nothing_ like him, or so I'd like to think. Don't get me wrong, I love my daddy to pieces, it's just, I don't know... I don't want to be him. Though, perhaps I'm only saying that because there's no possible way I could ever be like him.

Secondly, I think he's a little embarrassing, although I'm sure this could be said for all parents. He swears like none other, he lacks tact for the most part, and he's so open with me it's kind of frightening. I've thought about calling social services to have myself taken away, though truth be told I'd miss my dad, yeah, and my father too.

Thirdly, he's intimidating, and, no, not in the 'I think he's gonna hurt me way'. Being in his presence I can feel his authority like it's blowing through the air and it freaks me out that one day I'll be in his shoes. He's big, he's tall, and he's packed full of muscle, compared to him I'm itty bitty. He's also the perfect alpha of alpha's and the perfect king, and some how, some way, one day I'll have to do what he does. Rule and stuff. We've talked about me being king. Neither my father nor my dad want to be kings forever. I mean, yeah, I've got a lot of years ahead of me yet, but still, those are awfully big shoes to fill, especially since I could practically go swimming in one of them.

That leads me to another thing that freaks me out. If I'm king, I'm stuck king until I have an heir I can pass the 'throne' on to. If you hadn't noticed I'm a little, well, people call me the fairy princess behind my back for a reason. I'll have you know I do _not_ act like a woman. I may have certain tastes, like men, that coincide with womanly traits, but I am no woman and will never be. Oh, and just so it's out in the open, yes, my favorite color is purple. Maybe it's a little gay, maybe it's not, and I just so happen to love it that my bedding is silk and just that color.

Anyway, back on topic, I need to have son, and as previously mentioned two men can't possibly do this no matter how hard they try. So, what am I left to do? Spill my essence into a cup and have some chick use a mini turkey baster to then place my essence inside her? I'm just guessing that's how it works, I could be way off base. Perhaps there are no turkey basters involved. I suppose I could have a test tube baby – you know, in vitro fertilization or whatever. Why a 16-year-old gay boy should have to think about any of this is beyond me, but I do, and frequently. I'm petrified that no matter what I do I'll end up with like thirteen daughters and not one son. I don't even want one puppy, let alone a whole litter. Honestly, can you picture me as father? Yeah, _no_.

Although, if Paul wanted puppies...

* * *

**READ:** This is what I believe Ryan to look like, just with green eyes and slightly darker hair: (Obviously remove the dots) i. m. g. u. r DOT com (slash) 6WLpn


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter two**

I curled up on the single bed in the corner of the room and pressed my nose into the pillow. It only smelt like me – it had long since lost his scent. Ugh, like a total stalker creep I laid in Paul's old bed and gazed around at his things. I think he was mentally unstable, yet in an entirely endearing way. Everything was labelled, seriously, everything. Even on his desk his mouse and keyboard had labels by them that clearly stated that that was the correct spot for them – who'd have guessed?

I'm almost surprised he didn't end up sticking a label to my forehead with my name on it – seems reasonable considering the state of his room. I went through his closet a few years ago... days ago... and probably for the millionth time. Everything was impressively, or weirdly, color coordinated and sorted by type of item. T-shirts stayed with t-shirts, jeans with jeans, cutoffs with cutoffs, and so on. I think the way the jeans were hung intrigued me the most. The different shades of blue were so precisely arranged and went from light to dark. I'd never have the patience for that. I'm lucky if my clothes don't end up in a heap on my bedroom floor. Oh, and also, there wasn't a single wrinkle in sight. He was visibly the ironing type. Why a wolf would take time to iron his t-shirts and such was beyond me. I thought it was kind of cute though, you know, in an obsessive compulsive whack-job sort of way.

I let out a tired sigh as I pulled Cielo into my arms and scratched behind his fluffy white ears while he purred in delight. Something told me Paul would hate a shedding cat on his bed. If that's the case then he shouldn't have gotten me one, because once he left I think it's quite obvious I'd become a rabid freak and lay in his bed and pine for him with my kitty as my only company. I should get a few more and then things would be especially pathetic. I could certainly picture myself lying in his bed with twelve cats while I cry.

Okay, I have_ never_ cried while being in his room. Lies, I did the first time and maybe the second, and, you know, probably the third, but in my defence I was a brokenhearted puppy. I've been tempted to just smash everything in this room to bits and burn everything I couldn't to turn it to ash; after all, that's how he made me feel on the inside – just bits and ash. In the end I never could and never would do it. If I couldn't look at Paul I wanted to at least look at his things.

My dad says I need to get a hobby while my father says I need to get a life. I have a hobby – its Paul! God, I'm troubled. He's not a hobby, just an itch I can't scratch in my brain and heart. I have hobbies, I like... I always... Can my cat be a hobby? I mean, he's _super_ cute and he loves the color pink. Oh, gosh, and he has all these _amazing_ little outfits that he just loves to strut around in for me.

I hope you know I'm lying. I pride myself on being a little strange, but I'm not insane. The fanciest thing that cat has ever worn is his black leather collar with his name on it, plus a little jingly bell so he's easier to find around the palace. I don't think he cares much for pink either, although I've never asked him.

There was a little knock on the open door that pulled me out of my Paul induced stupor. I looked up from the floor and saw Emily gazing in at me with a frown on her face. "Hey, fag." She greeted me solemnly.

I gave her a sad little smile. "Hey, hag." I gently pushed Cielo off the bed and scooted backward against the wall and lifted up my arm. Emily's eyes brightened slightly and she strode across the floor toward me. She got on the bed and pressed her back against my chest and wrapped my arm around her waist while placing her hand on top of my own to lace her fingers with mine.

I tucked a kiss into her inky black hair then rested my cheek against it. "You're the best alpha in the world you know." She said with a sigh.

"No." I mumbled. "I'm only nice to you because I love you. If I had any more wolves I'd beat them with rolled up newspapers and put shock collars on them so I'd never have to hear them speak. I'd probably make them piss on the lawn too."

Emily chuckled cutely, though slightly and strangely sadistically. "You're twisted. I love it."

"Em?"

"Yeah, Ryan?"

"Can you tell me a memory you have of me and Paul?" I asked her.

Emily nodded against me. "Hmm, let me think..." She paused for a moment and hummed a little to herself. "Oh, okay. I remember this one time we spent the whole day at the beach together with James – you and I couldn't have been older than eight or nine, so he was probably around ten or eleven. Anyway, it was a really hot day and you had your shirt off the whole time. By the time the evening rolled around you were burnt to crisp and puking from heat stroke like your life depended on it.

"I can still remember the shouting match Paul had with your father, his majesty. Your husband was furious that he'd allow something like that to happen to you. You were pathetic I hope you know. You revelled in the attention that wolf was giving you. I swear you got all teary eyed on purpose just so he'd dote on you more.

"Then again, I guess I kind of felt bad for you. Your dad, his grace, was rubbing aloe on your back while you hurled nonstop over the side of your bed into a bucket that Paul held for you. The next day you told me your parents had let your husband sleep on your floor in his wolf form that night. You also told me that you snuck onto to floor in the middle of the night and snuggled up with him. Was that true?"

I nodded against Emily's hair. "Yeah, I remember that night as clear as day. He woke when I tucked myself into his fur. I thought for sure he was going to get up and shove me back toward my bed, but he didn't. All he did was lift his head from the carpet, give my cheek a little lick, and with a tired grunt he put his head back down and drifted right off to sleep." I answered.

She looked over her shoulder at me. "I'm surprised your parents didn't care. I mean, your dad had to have heard it in your thoughts the next day. I'd think it's kind of weird that they'd let you sleep with Paul – wolf form or not."

I gave my shoulders a little shrug. "I don't know, Paul was different. My parents never seemed to care much that we were so close. He told me he loved me all the time and he'd give me tons of hugs, plus I'd always snuggle with him when we'd watch movies and what not. Well, you know this, you saw it all and so did my parents."

Emily turned a bit and pressed a kiss to my cheek and smiled. "I hope you know it's an extremely high probability that your husband is a raging pedo. He probably copped feels of your dong and you were too stupid to notice. I bet you just got too old for him so he went in search of a new puppy to prey on." She mused, although she followed it up with slight snort and a laugh.

My nose crinkled at the notion. "Jesus Christ, woman, do you know how often I was in his lap? I never once felt anything that I now dream of on consistent basis." I retorted a bit grumpily.

Emily grinned at me and waggled her eyebrows. "You mean like the thing that's poking me in the back right now?" She teased, yet sadly there was a whole lot of truth in her words. I looked down at my thin Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pajama pants and cursed them straight to hell. Yeah, I know, they're kind of childish, but I had a thing for Donatello when I was little, so the pants brought back good... and strange memories. Turtles can be cute, right?

I let out an annoyed huff of breath. "I'm a 16-year-old boy with a warm body against my crotch, what do you expect? Besides, I was done for the moment you had me think about Paul copping a feel."

The girl chuckled as she rolled over to face me. "Ryan," She breathed. "Is it bad that sometimes I wish you weren't gay?" I quirked a brow while I brought my hand up her side and brushed her messy bangs that had fallen out of her ponytail away from her pretty eyes. I swept a thumb against her cheekbone and she rewarded me with a small sigh.

I smiled at the wolf I was free to call my own and who I absolutely adored looking out for. "I suppose it depends on why." I answered.

"I think it would have been so much easier on the both of us if we could have fallen for each other."

I nodded in agreement. "If I was hetero you'd definitely be my girl. You'd be my everything." I replied honestly. She smiled like she was happy, though the tears forming in her eyes told me otherwise. "What's wrong, Em?"

She shook her head against the pillow and wiped at her eyes. "Nothing." She moved closer to me and tangled her legs with mine while she placed a hand to my cheek. "Paul's a fucking idiot for leaving you, Ryan. If I was him I would have been there every day for you and I would have loved you the way you needed me too. Then the day you turned 16 and were no longer a puppy I would have made you mine."

I laughed a little. "You're just trying to be nice."

"No," She stated as she let the tips of her fingers dip into my hair. "If Paul could see you now... You're so breathtakingly beautiful and you have this amazing personality to boot. You're sweet and kind, even to people who don't deserve it. I can't count how many times some stupid guy has yelled something to you about the way you look or your sexuality, yet not once have you ever fought fire with fire or felt the need to lash out to stand up for yourself. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you're too good for the wolf. It's him that should be yearning for you. It's him that should need you, and it's him that should be in love with you."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes. "You're so full of it."

Emily shook her head and gave me a sloppy and wet kiss on my forehead. "Learn to take a complement, my prince. It's sad that you're better at taking insults." She huffed as she rolled off the bed and headed toward the door.

"Where are you going?" I queried.

"Home. My dad's shift ends any minute."

I sat up on the bed with a sigh. "Your home is here with me, you know, your alpha."

"Sorry, but my dad needs me way more than you do."

I smiled at the girl as I stood. "Says you." I made my way to her and took her hand in mine. "I'll walk you to the door."

We walked in silence as we weaved through the halls and down the stairs, though it made me smile each time she'd steal a kiss from me out of nowhere. Emily had a knack for making me feel especially loved. I hoped she knew that even though I couldn't love her in more than a platonic way that she was still my girl and always would be. She's my wolf and my beta, my better half, and my best friend. There is nothing I wouldn't do for her and there is no death too painful that would stop me dying to protect her life.

* * *

I flew up the stairs two at a time after Emily left, not because I was rushing, well, I was, just for no particular reason. Like the total doofus I am I tripped over the very last step at the top of staircase and landed on my knees, though tried to play it off all cool like and act as if I had totally done something so stupid on purpose. I hopped to my feet as a few guards snickered as they stood at the open doorway a few yards to my left.

I looked to them and glared. One was a wolf, clearly new, since I'd never seen him before and the other a very familiar vampire. "Two weeks' pay docked for laughing at your prince." I hissed as I strode up to them.

The vampire's golden eyes widened – a clear indicator that he fed on animals just like his grace, my dad. A cool shiver ran up my spine with a little creepy feeling. My dad didn't always feed on animals, but on my father as well. That part wasn't what gave me the creeps. It was the fact that red eyes meant they just had sex. Don't ask me how I know this. Needless to say I quickly learned to knock. Ick... Parents having sex. Such a horrible atrocity should be outlawed. Definitely on my to do list when I'm king.

I'd like to view my dad's as completely asexual beings, yet they make it impossible for my poor teenage mind to believe in such lovely things. They have a way of flaunting they're sexuality. I know they don't do it to be rude, but is so hard to keep your hands off someone? Most of the general populace adore their king's, though a few have accused them of some sort of radical gay agenda. I'm not entirely sure what that means; however, I have apparently jumped on the bandwagon and fully support they're 'faggotry' ways since they have 'turned' me gay with their homosexual and brainwashing ways.

Trust me, they didn't turn me gay with their gayness. Seeing them kiss and grope each other is almost enough to turn me straight. Actually, I'm pretty positive I was born gay, although I would have preferred to have been born otherwise or at the very least bisexual. Truthfully, I feel like such a cliche. It feels a little ridiculous having two gay parents then also being gay myself. Oh, excuse me, let me fix that last sentence. I have a gay dad and a bisexual father. My father is very adamant that if his sexuality is to be referred to then we must call him bisexual. I honestly don't see the point. He's married to a man, has sex with a man... everything about his life is gay, even his son. I think he might take a little pride in conquering both sexes when it comes to... whatever he did when he had them alone, in his room, and on his bed. Sick.

"Your highness, please forgive me. I need that money... my mortgage." Alec, the golden-eyed vampire pleaded. "Please."

"Shut up!" I snapped, startling the wolf beside him. "Do you really think you can get away with openly mocking me?"

Alec fervently shook his head of brunette hair. "I wasn't mocking you. I'd never. I'm sorry."

"Screw your sorry!" I hollered. I had to stifle a laugh as the poor wolf beside him looked like he was about to wet himself. I turned my attention to him. "I suggest you beg for forgiveness or I'll have Alec here escort you to the deepest, darkest, and ugliest bowels of purgatory."

The wolf's brown eyes widened with terror and his russet hands shook with apprehension at his sides. I figured I better wrap this up soon. "God, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be rude. If I had known it would upset you... I have a puppy at home. He needs me there." He rapidly said.

I furrowed my brows with a scowl. "You think I give a damn about your puppy?" I snarled in question. I flicked my eyes to Alec. "Take this dog to purgatory and book him... _indefinitely_."

Alec darted across the doorway and latched onto the wolf's arms. "What? No! Please, your highness, I beg you!" He cried. I shook my head and smiled softly to myself which caused Alec to burst out in raucous laughter as he dropped the wolf's arm.

The stunned wolf flicked his eyes between us as I started to laugh myself. "I'm sorry. I love it. I'm terrible, I know." I brokenly said through laughter as I wiped away tears.

"Oh god, Felix, you fell for it! Your face! You should have seen it! You looked so petrified!" Alec howled in laughter as he clutched at his stomach and leaned against the arch of the doorway.

"No way." The wolf breathed in relief. "This was all some sick joke?"

"Yes!" I answered as my laughter slowly started to subside. "I can't help but do it to every newbie that comes along."

The wolf looked to Alec and gave him a good shove to the other side of the doorway. "I can't believe you were in on it. I hope you know I almost shit myself!" He exclaimed.

"Do you know nothing about our prince? I remember when the kitchen had a mouse in it and he insisted on trapping it humanely. He said that it was the right thing to do and that we needed to set it free in the wild."

I frowned. "I remember that. As soon as I let it go a hawk swooped down and flew off with the poor little thing. I felt guilty for days after that." I crossed my arms with a playful little pout. "Thanks for reminding me of such a tragedy."

Felix still clearly shaken up shook his head. "I seriously thought I was on my way to purgatory." He told us.

"Nah," I said. "There's not much you can do around here to end up down there. Even his majesty is up for a good laugh most of the time, although his grace can be touch and go. Normally he's really friendly, but he can be a bit of a grump sometimes. Trust me, you'll know when those times are."

"I heard his grace killed a guard once. Is that true?" Alec asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, but that was years ago, and the wolf poisoned my father's food."

"Wasn't one of his majesty's wolves in on it?" Felix queried.

"Yes." I confirmed.

"What happened to him?" Alec questioned.

"He died"

Felix met my eyes. "Who killed him?"

"One of my dad's I guess." I said with a shrug. "Anyway, I'm off. Have a good night guarding absolutely jack shit you two!" I gave them a grin and little wave and headed down the hall. "Oh, Felix, let me know when there's a new guard around. You and I can get him good!" I called over my shoulder as I walked away.

"Will do, your highness!"


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, so I must thank hopelessromantic5 for all her help. Believe me when I say I couldn't have done this without her. She's been one heck of an inspiration and always finds time to help me with ideas. **

**Also, I forgot to mention in the previous update that the picture of Ryan is in fact a boy. A few of you asked if it was.**

* * *

**Chapter Three**

I headed for my parents' room and when I got there the door was open and I let myself in. The horrid sound of screeching little girl laughter pierced my ears the second I walked in. I bolted toward bed on the platform and leapt onto it tackling my father and shoving him off the bed. I met the sparkling eyes of the girl laying on her back amongst the down bedding with a playful little grin on her face. I flicked my eyes to my father as I inched toward the girl. "We _must_ destroy it or the bloodsucker will infect us all." I said in the most serious voice I could muster.

I brought my attention back to the girl that hadn't yet lost her smile. She was only three, but she looked and acted as if she were seven and her eyes were just as green as mine while her hair was shoulder length and light brown. Her complexion was as pale as our dad's and her lips matched our mother's full ones. She was beautiful to say the least and I knew I'd be beating boys off her with sticks soon enough. What else is a big brother for?

She was my dad's pride and joy – his perfect, do no wrong, little baby and admittedly I felt like he loved her a little more than he loved me. Of course he never treated us any different, it was just the feeling I got. Wouldn't you love a biological child of yours more than one that wasn't? Perhaps I'm just paranoid.

So, for the record the situation is a little weird if you hadn't already guessed. We have different fathers and the same mother. Let me explain before you go and think my mom is slag on the streets. She's a good woman, a guilt ridden woman, but a good woman nonetheless. I didn't meet her until I was six... the day she ruined my parents' wedding, but that's a _whole_ other story. I don't know if it was me just being a clingy little child like I was, but I felt an immediate connection with her.

I've never been one to hold a grudge, I can't be bothered. I could resent her for leaving me as a baby only to return when I was so much older, yet I don't. I figured if I resented her I'd have to resent my father too. He's no saint. He's not even a quarter of a saint. I lived with him and he ignored me or was just plain mean to me until my dad came around. I was five then. Sometimes I feel a little angry. Sometimes I wonder why, but most of the time I figure it's best to leave it alone. I wasn't about to screw up the time I have with him now just because I disliked the times that I didn't have with him then. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is both my biological parents sucked for quite sometime, though they're not too shabby now. In fact, I couldn't ask for better.

Back to what I was originally talking about, my mother. I may have never harboured any bad feelings for her, but I think she has enough for the both of us. I don't really think she'll ever forgive herself. I really wish she would, though. I think my sister has helped a little since she was kind of like a new beginning.

I think it was about four and half years ago that my dad's started talking about babies. Now let me tell you this, I was in full support of this notion. Besides doing all their kingly crap their sole attention was on me. I did not like this – I couldn't so much as sneeze without them knowing about it. I thought a baby would be a wonderful distraction for them, plus I loved cute things and I could just walk away when the child cried.

I really don't want to talk about science since I'll only confuse myself and I especially don't want talk about my dad's sperm, but I think I'm about to do both. It's difficult to do but with skilled scientists and under the perfect conditions vampire sperm has successfully fertilized human eggs, although only one has ever been implanted into a woman and survived, that of course being my sister. I figure it was only really possible since my parents funded the entire thing and hired the best people to do whatever those scientists and doctors do along with buying all best equipment and gadgets, and what have you. God only knows how much they spent to make my sister possible. I'm kind of glad they did it, though.

So, long story short they were having trouble finding eggs from someone they both approved of along with a surrogate. Then sometime when my mom was over spending time with me they finally brought it up and said they wanted to have a baby. They were in no way implying that they wanted her to help in any sort of way but she was quick to volunteer both her eggs and her body so long as she could be in the child's life and be considered their mother, however she was willing to sign her rights over and also had no intention of taking any real big part in raising the baby. She just wanted to be there to love them and watch them grow. After a few weeks of discussion it was agreed upon that my mother was to help make me a brother or a sister.

My mom had to have an emergency cesarean section at only six months along. My father was everybody's rock and stayed calm and collected whereas my dad was in the worst condition I have ever seen him in. He was petrified he'd lose his baby. I think the baby meant a heck of a lot more to him than to most dads' to be honest. Anyway, clearly everything worked out and I even got to be in the room to hold my mom's hand. I was very, very careful to stay on the proper side of the sheet that was hung blocking our view of her nether regions. Seeing stuff like that now wouldn't bother me so long as it was in that situation, but for a 13-year-old boy just the thought of possibly seeing my mother's crotch was enough to make me feel woozy with utter torment.

The look on my dad's face when they placed my sister on my mom's chest while telling us she's a very healthy girl was a face I'll never forget. He looked shocked, disbelieving almost, like something so teensy and perfect could be a part of him. I teared up, I really did, but I couldn't help it. My dad ran a pale finger down her cheek and she brought up a her little arm up and latched on to his finger with her tiny hand since they hadn't yet swaddled her... I was done for.

My father slung a strong arm around my shoulders while he grinned at my sister like a fool, but my dad, that face, he looked so in love, like there couldn't possibility be a better or more precious being anywhere in the universe. As soon as they wrapped her up in a blanket he was holding her with his head ducked and his cheek against hers to feel her close. I watched one of the most impossible things become possible – a vampire become a real father, and that's why I feel like the love he has for me pales in comparison to what he has for her. Sometimes it made me feel a little sad, though other times I'm just grateful my sister has someone that loves her as much our dad does.

My sister truly is one of a kind. She's a vampire with heartbeat, something my dad is so proud of. She can eat food like I do, but she prefers blood, and not that it's a huge surprise but my dad only allows her to have that from an animal. She loves Oreos, though. She'll never say no to one of those. She can blush and her pale little cheeks will turn pink and it's definitely the cutest thing I have ever seen. She has a power somewhat similar to my dad's telepathy. She can communicate her thoughts by a simple touch if she so chooses. However, her mind is silent to my dad and I'm pretty positive it almost drives him mad at times. I think he's so used to being in everyone's business that the thought of not knowing what his daughter is thinking and feeling infuriates him, especially when she's upset and he has no clue what's going on or how to fix it. I can't help but laugh and welcome him to the real world when he gets so worked up about it.

I have to say having a sister is one of the best things that has ever happened to me, plus I was praying I wouldn't have a brother. I grew up with Emily, I loved doing girly things... okay, let me rephrase that. I don't mind doing certain girly things that are fun and with another girl. Yeah, I grew up with James too, but it was always two against one so he just did whatever we wanted. Although, if he gave us any trouble I could just bat my eyelashes at him and he'd turn into a little puddle of goo and he'd be completely at my disposal.

I didn't want a little brother, because A) Little boys are stupid, disgusting and dirty. I never was of course. B) I'd kill myself before you saw me outside playing sports. Actually, it's probably more reasonable to say I'd more than likely kill myself attempting to play some sort of sport. C) I wanted a sibling I could connect with. I have a hard time connecting with guys of any sort – James of course is the exception, but he's too infatuated with me to even count.

I'm supposed to be this macho alpha wolf, yet instead I tend to be the butt of every joke. Alphas are naturally aggressive and extremely confrontational, if it isn't already obvious I seem to be neither. Hence why I get picked on a lot when I go out, usually by other alphas. It's like they can sense how weak I feel and they feel the need to put me in my place or something. I guess that's why I only have Emily in my pack, I don't exactly feel like alpha material.

However, I still am an alpha and being so I find myself extremely protective of the one wolf I've got. It was only a couple months ago that Emily called me crying from her school. Apparently, a few alphas in her grade had jumped her and dragged her into the bathroom. They teased her about me and stuck her face in a toilet bowl. I'm sure it's needless to say, but I was livid and quite nearly seeing red. I drove over like she'd requested because she wanted to go for a quiet drive to help calm her down.

Once there I demanded that she give me the names of the guys that jumped her. Without choice she obeyed her alpha and gave me three names. I told her to wait in the schools field since I needed to sort this out. I went to the principal's office and luckily being a prince and all I could order him to do whatever the heck I wanted, so I gave him the names and told him to immediately send them to the field outside.

In a fury I made my way to the grassy field and to the metal bleachers where Emily sat. "What's going on?" She asked me.

"You can't possibly expect me to just let them get away with humiliating you. What kind of alpha would I be if I did that?"

She shrugged and sighed. "A good one. They're huge, Ryan." And boy was she ever right. The moment the three of them exited the blue side door of the school I was beginning to think I made a grave mistake. I swallowed nervously as I scanned all the guys they brought with them. They were broken up into three bunches. The were undoubtedly each wolf's pack.

The biggest wolf with dark russet skin and buzzed hair wore a pair of baggy green cutoffs and a black muscle shirt had a pack that consisted of eight wolves that were almost as large as him. The second had nice copper skin and shaggy black hair. He wore a ripped pair of faded jeans and a plain white t-shirt. That one had a pack seven. The third and the smallest, though still huge compared to me had a pack of five. He had shiny cropped hair with gel holding it in place and his skin was just as coppery as the previous wolf. He wore some sports jersey that meant nothing to me and a tan pair of cargo shorts. So, as you can see, I was a little outnumbered...

I told Emily to wait on the bleachers, to which she responded by begging and pleading that we just go. I refused and strode through the field while fervently attempting to not shake like a leaf. I met all the wolves halfway and felt utterly doomed, but of course I decided I'd give it my best shot, whatever that may be.

"Look, a little fairy princess has come to play." The biggest wolf said in attempt to mock me. All the wolves laughed and so did I. It wouldn't do me any good if I acted upset about it, plus the wolf was completely unoriginal. I'd been hearing that one for years. I felt a little smug when all 23 of them gave me a funny look for laughing along with them.

"Gosh, you're practically bursting with intelligence it seems. I mean, it's not like you were stating the obvious or anything. Although, you did get one thing wrong – I'm no princess." I chided with a huff of annoyed breath.

The shaggy haired one crossed his arms while flexing them slighting. He looked pathetic. "Could have fooled me."

I sighed as if I were bored. "As thrilling as you all seem to be I didn't come here to chit-chat." I gazed over my shoulder and pointed to Emily. "See that girl, that's _my_ wolf and you guys hurt her." I brought my attention back to the three alphas and flicked my eyes between them. "You _don't_ hurt what's mine."

The alpha wearing the jersey sniggered. "And what are you going to do about it? Call your big bad daddy to come put us in our place."

I furrowed my brows. "I'm quite capable of doing that myself." Or at least I hoped I was. "Why don't you all have your wolves sit on the bleachers so they can have a nice view of me kicking all your asses." All the wolves burst out in laughter. I didn't.

"You can't be serious." The biggest one said through his laughter.

I nonchalantly shrugged. "I couldn't be more serious."

The big one quirked his brow and waved for his wolves to go sit, the other two followed suit. "This going to be way too easy."

Now I laughed. "You're right. It will be." I wanted to face palm at my feigned arrogance. I was going to look like a complete fool if they beat me to a pulp, which was highly probable. "So, are you three going to shift or what?"

The shaggy haired wolf scoffed. "You gotta be kidding, we'll tear you to pieces." I lifted my arms and removed the pins from my hair and dropped them to the ground. Next I went to the hem of my purple v-neck t-shirt – Oh, and before you call me out on the color, it was the manliest purple there is. You know, all dark and brooding and what not.

I lifted the shirt over my head and dropped it to the ground then removed a black leather bracelet from my left arm and tossed it on top of my shirt. _All_ the wolves started to laugh, presumably at my body... I figured they could go screw themselves.

I kicked off my black Chuck Taylor's along with my socks. I looked back to the wolves who just stood there watching me like the creeps they were. "Well, hurry up. I'm a prince, I haven't got all day." I said while I plucked the button undone on my grey slim-fit jeans. They quickly looked to one another as if asking for each others approval of the situation. With a slight shrug given by each of them they started to peel off their clothing and that's when the nerves hit me.

I knew they were going to be big wolves because all I could see was big bodies and big muscles ahead of me. I swallowed in apprehension. I had never in my life fought another wolf, or another anything for that matter. I had wrestled with my father and Emily, but that meant nothing compared to this.

Once all four of us were completely in the nude I felt done for, I just couldn't compare and their smirks were a telltale sign they thought the same thing. "Well-well, it is a boy." The wolf who had previously been wearing the jersey taunted.

One by one the wolves shifted. The biggest one was a dark, though beautiful brown. Shaggy was a little funny looking, he was a greyish silver color with russet paws, tail, and snout, while the other wolf was a sandy golden color with dark floppy ears. For the most part they were good looking wolves and huge ones at that.

My heart thumped in my chest and I felt the vein in my neck pulsing with blood. I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and shifted. Phasing felt like freedom and the whole process took only a second, though it seemed as if I could hear every bone snap, crack, and reshape. I felt my ears grow, my face elongate, my nails to turn to claws while my spine stretched to form a tail.

With a huff of breath I landed on four furry white paws and I shook out my fur while I stared the three wolves down. I was certainly smaller, but I just kept repeating in my mind that size doesn't matter, size doesn't matter, size does_ not_ matter. Three on one might, though. I couldn't help but overhear a few gasps as the wolves on the bleachers examined me. I wasn't a big wolf, but I was damn beautiful wolf, or at least that's what my parents told me – probably not the best source. For all I knew they were gasping at how hideous I am. Although, I didn't really think my snowy white coat and green eyes were all that unattractive. I actually preferred the look of me as a wolf over how I appear in human form. I was slim and sleek and faster than the wind. If I could fight... well, I was about to find out.

I ducked my head, bared my teeth and growled as I dipped my tail behind me. The three wolves stalked forward as they snarled and snapped. I got the very strong feeling that this was a very bad idea; however, I would rather be torn to shreds than run away from a fight I started.

The three started circling me while their wolves cheered them on. I caught a glimpse of Emily silently sitting alone on the other side of the bleachers and looking terrified for me. In the split second that I had looked to her Shaggy pounced and caught me completely off guard. He tackled me to the ground where I landed on my side and his teeth latched onto my scruff while his claws dug into my side. I clenched my jaw as tight as I could to stop myself from yelping as his teeth pierced my skin.

The other two neared, growls loud and mouths drooling. I was in for it. I just new it. "Don't just lay there! Kill them you stupid fucking mutt!" Emily screamed from the bleachers. The girl was a much needed distraction and the jaws of Shaggy loosened just a tad and by forcefully rolling over I was able to rip myself away - both tearing up my scruff and my sides, and staining my white fur in blood.

I scrambled to my paws and backed away from the three as they all snarled menacingly at me. I didn't bother to react instead I waited for one of them to do something; there wasn't a chance in hell I'd try and attack all of them at once. My patience was rewarded and Jersey Boy leapt forward. This time expecting it I ducked and he flew right over top of me. With his haunches facing me I instantly turned in my spot and lunged at him.

I landed on his back with my teeth digging firmly into the scruff of his neck. He quickly shook me off him, though his skin was trapped tightly between my teeth and with the way he shook me it caused the skin to twist awkwardly in the wrong direction. He let out a loud yelp in pain and in reflex wrenched himself away from me. To my horror and along with his, what was in my mouth stayed there as he stood a yard or so away. With his eyes wide and clearly in shock, I spat out the bloody and fleshy mound of skin and fur into the grass.

Blood poured from the large and open wound while the wolf stayed unmoving. I heard the thunder of four paws coming from behind me and the moment I no longer heard them I once again ducked, and just like before a wolf flew over me. With a loud thump and the crack of a few bones Shaggy collided perfectly into Jersey Boy and knocked him straight to the ground - I could only assume that Shaggy had broken a few of J.B's ribs upon impact.

The wolf trembled in his spot on the ground until the body of a wolf disappeared and was replaced with a human one. He was on his stomach and his back looked like it had to be causing him all sorts of agony. From the top of his neck to the middle of his back the skin appeared flayed and I honestly couldn't believe I was partly responsible for that.

His wolves rushed to him with faces all ones of concern. They hauled him to his feet while one grabbed his clothes. I caught a glimpse of his front only to see it black and blue with bruises. His pack helped him into his jeans and guided him off the field and to the bleachers. Part of me wanted to feel bad, yet all I really thought was one down, two more to go.

Shaggy turned around to face me and I could hear Muscles behind me growling. In a split second decision I broke right in a full sprint. To the guys on the bleachers it looked like I was running for my life, but that was hardly the case and it only encouraged me when I could hear them yelling that I was just a little bitch and a pussy. My fighting might be a bit, umm, pussyish, but I felt there was no possible way I could take them on in an actual dog fight. So, if I thought I could win with another strategy then I was all for it.

I threw my head to the side as my paws trampled across the grass. They were exactly where I wanted them – both my sides were flanked. Mid-stride I abruptly stopped running and dug my paws and claws into the ground to help ease my halt. The second I was still I crouched. The two wolves not being able to react in time ran by me, however in my low position I snapped my jaws out in Muscles' direction. Catching his right hind leg with my mouth I jumped to my paws and with one quick and swift movement wrenched my head back as his body still wanted to move forward.

A pained yowl echoed across the field as a loud pop was heard and with a heavy thump he crashed to the ground. I let go of his leg and my green eyes widened immensely as realization of what I had just done struck me as he writhed in pain. I dislocated his hip.

I quickly decided that I didn't care one little bit and took off after shaggy who was just slowing to see what had happened. He turned slightly to see me coming and like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car the stupid wolf didn't move. I hoped he'd run since that would delay me having to figure out what to do, but alas he did not. As I kept running I saw the teensy movement of his claws digging into the ground. He was bracing for impact and I could only think of one way I could use that against him.

With a rumbling growl escaping my throat I forced myself to my top speed and only when I was mere inches from the wolf did I duck. I angled my paws so my claws wouldn't catch any ground and my speed carried me forward even though I wasn't moving my legs.

I slid underneath the wolf's side and rose to a stand with all the force I could muster. The blow of my back hitting his underbelly knocked the wind out of him and threw him up in the air. I swivelled myself counter clockwise and my hindquarters connected with and shoved away his back legs that were still raised off the ground. This rotated the wolf in the air and he landed not even a foot away from me on his back.

I wasted absolutely no time thrusting forward and sinking my teeth into the front of his neck for a forced submission and complete humiliation. I only broke the skin just enough to cause him pain and a put him in his place. I held my jaw there for a few moments while I growled at the wolf. He replied with a submissive whimper, and with that I instantly let go and trotted happily toward my clothes. I showed no signs of my victory outwardly, though inwardly I was laughing like a lunatic and doing one hell of a victory dance.

Arriving at my clothes I shifted back and pulled them on and strapped my leather bracelet to my wrist. "My hero!" Emily bellowed as she tackled me to the ground while she smothered my face in kisses while she laughed.

When the frantic kisses slowed I gently pushed her off me. "I'm pretty bad ass, aren't I?" I said with a grin.

She rose to her knees and grabbed my hand and hauled us up to our feet. "The baddest."

Once I had my socks and shoes on I was about to guide us to my car, but then I caught sight of all those wolves in a tight circle around one cowering wolf with a dislocated hip. I really wanted to leave, yet I couldn't. Damn my good conscience.

I dragged Emily over with me and pushed my way through the circle. Needless to say I did what I had to do and fixed his hip because everyone else was useless. I found I was quite thankful that my father had taught me how put a hip back in its socket when Brady, one of his wolves, had caught his hind paw on root as he ran through the forest. I'd have hated to leave the wolf injured because of me, jerk or not.

So, the moral of the story is: Don't screw with Emily. I think that's all there really is to it. Truthfully though, I kind of wanted to boast a little. Sorry.

Anyway, lets rewind before I wandered _way _off topic... "We _must_ destroy it or the bloodsucker will infect us all." I said in the most serious voice I could muster.

"But it doesn't look dangerous." My father said with feigned skepticism.

I gasped and jumped to my feet on the bed. "Don't fall for it!" I exclaimed. "That's exactly what it wants you think!"

My sister rose to her knees and tugged on my shirt. I looked down into her pretty green eyes as she brought her hands up closer to her shoulders and curled her fingers almost in a claw like fashion. "I vant to suck your blood." She said in her most menacing, though stereotypical vampire voice.

I acted scared and started to back up. I darted my eyes between hers and our fathers. "P-pass me some garlic." I whispered.

Father chuckled. "We're all out."

"What do you mean we're all out?" I shouted.

He nonchalantly shrugged. "I forgot to do the shopping."

I kept taking small steps back while my sister moved forward. "A crucifix, give me crucifix! It'll set the thing to flames!" I vehemently instructed.

"I lost it."

I slumped my shoulders and stared at my father. "You lost it! How could you? Holy water! I need holy water. I want see the thing fizzle into nothing but a puddle of mush!" With his strong russet hand my father handed me a cup of water off the night table.

I snatched it from his grasp. I met her gaze. "Don't you dare." She hissed in true vampire fashion.

"But, Rachel, I need to rid this world of your awful existence." I insisted.

She slowly reached a hand behind her then quickly drew a toy gun from the waistband of the back of her pants and pointed the thing at me. "The moment that holy water touches my stone cold skin is the moment I pull the trigger and send a silver bullet flying through your chest, dog." She evilly threatened.

"I'm not afraid of you!" I growled.

She stood to her feet and cocked her head cutely while pressing the gun to the middle of my chest. "Really? You should be." There was a second of silence and then there was a little click of her pulling the plastic trigger. "Bang." She whispered. "You're dead."

I grinned and splashed the water on the front of her shirt, a bit of it accidentally hitting her face. "So are you!" I hollered as I dropped the cup to the blankets and leapt from the bed past our father.

"Ryan!" She shrieked as she took off after me. I ran into the nook where mom and dad were watching some stupid mystery crime show like old people do, which they are not. I stood with my back to a window by the far end of the blue couch where my dad sat.

Rachel came barging in with father following slowly behind. "I'm going to kill you!" She yelled.

"You already did!" I retorted.

Dad clicked off the T.V. and looked to Rachel then me. "Two murders are enough for one night." He told us.

"But dad!" Rachel whined as she exaggeratedly stomped her way over to him.

"No buts, now give your brother a kiss and tell him you're sorry for shooting him the chest with a silver bullet."

My sister climbed up to the armrest of the couch and held arms out to me. I went to her and she rested her arms on my shoulders and gave me peck on the cheek. "Sorry for shooting you." She apologized with unapologetic grin on her face.

I gave her a sloppy kiss on her forehead. "Sorry for melting you with holy water."

She leaned in and gave me a creepy little sniff and her nose crinkled. "You smell like wet dog." She complained.

I copied her actions and gave her a sniff as well while I pretended to gag. "You smell like rotten corpse."

My sister pressed a small hand to my cheek with a look of innocence in her eyes. "Then you must really like it since you dogs love to roll in the scent of stink."

"Got us there." My father said as he leaned against the arch into the nook and gave my dad a little wink. GROSS! No! I did _not_ just witness that.

"Well gentlemen, and lady," My mom said as she stood. "I'm ready to head home. I have an early shift in the morning."

"You know it would be easier if you just lived here." My dad told her.

"Yeah." My father agreed with a nod. "That way you could finally give up that crappy job."

My mom rolled her eyes and shook her head as she always did when they tried to get her to move in, which tended to be quite often. "Boy's, that's called freeloading. I'm no freeloader." She turned her gaze to me. "Are you going to drive me home?"

I smiled and nodded. "As always."


	4. Chapter 4

**I just wanted to let you all know that I am moving to a new city on Tuesday. So, I am not exactly sure when I'll have the fifth chapter up. Though, I'm sure you all know my posting habits by now - it'll be as soon as possible (I am hoping no longer than a week) and then I'll be back to posting multiple chapters a week.**

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**Chapter Four**

I pulled into my mom's driveway, shut off the engine, and clicked the little switch to right on the ceiling to turn the light on. She had a nice little two bedroom, one bathroom house and one of those white picket fences that you read about in story books. When Paul left I wanted nothing more than to live here with my mother. It seemed like the perfect little hideaway.

She lived on a pretty street, with small but decent houses, and had nice neighbours. Kids ran around in the street after school and during summer days. The trees and lawns always seemed especially green and the flowers in each garden appeared special. I loved the scent of fresh mowed grass the neighbourhood had and the sound of sprinklers raining down water during hot days. My dad's might not get why she doesn't want to leave here and move into the palace but I do. Her home was a real home and it was all her own.

My mom had no problem with the idea of me living with her, though my parents would have none of it. It wasn't safe for a prince for a 101-million different reasons. I was pissed, and ever since then I refused to have guards go with me anywhere or stand outside my room at night. I could take care of myself and I figured if I proved that to my parents I'd get to live with my mom. No such luck.

When I turned 16 I had every intention of moving in with my mother and I even started to, but when my dad's caught me bringing my things there they freaked. They were furious with my mom for letting me do this and my father began to accuse her of meddling in their lives and trying to steal me away from them. I thought it was pretty damn petty behaviour, though my father is sometimes like that.

My mom was so upset by this. I've said it before and I'll say it again, she is a very good woman. She is very sensitive however, and she would never do anything to try and disrupt someone's life or cause them grief. It's as if the exact opposite is engrained in her DNA. She'll purposely go out of her way to make others happy even if it upsets herself. She's a good, selfless, and sensitive woman that I often fear people will take advantage of. Needless to say I wasn't going to be one of those people. Even when my father was being a complete jerk to her she said I could still come and live with her. I obviously didn't if only for the fact that I wanted my father to shut the hell up and get off her case. I know she wanted me there, but I also know she appreciated me putting an end to all the trouble it was causing.

So, I guess, in essence, I settled. I drove her home every time she came over and I gazed at her house each time we sat in the driveway just to dream of living there. I had long since sworn to myself that when I was older I'd buy a house just like it in a neighbourhood just like this one for me to live in. If Paul one day showed up at my doorstep he'd be more than welcome to stay too. Here's to wishful thinking...

My mom grazed a soft finger across my cheek and rested it on my shoulder to twirl my hair around it. "What are you thinking about, hunny?" She queried. "You seem a little upset." I blinked and sighed as I flicked my eyes to my mom from the red front door under the glow of the porch light that illuminated the white stucco rancher.

I frowned slightly and took her hand from my shoulder to hold it in my lap. "I don't really want to be a prince." I sadly admitted.

Her thin and blonde brows furrowed. I couldn't help but think that even when she made a funny face she was still incredibly beautiful. Her skin always seems milky and perfect, her eyes green and vibrant, hair brushed, blonde, and smooth while her full pink lips always knew when to kiss my cheek or hair to make me feel better – like now. She unbuckled her seat belt and leaned over the black leather console and pressed a kiss into the side of my hair. Yet, there was a little something I feared about my mother. She's human and 31-years-old just like my father, except my father looks no older than 19, whereas my mom looks 31. Ever since Rachel was born my dad has wanted to turn her, she refuses and has actually said she wants to die like all humans do. That was the one thing I disliked about my mom.

She gave me a little smile. "It's what you were born to be, Ryan. You're the type of boy that can change the world."

"What if I don't want to change the world?"

My mom's smile turned into a sad one. "I know you yearn for simpler things and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that so long as you don't take for granted all that you do have. All I want is for you to be happy and if one day you wake up and truly believe that you won't be happy being a prince, then don't be. I'll tell you something, Ryan. I woke up one day and had it stuck in my head that I'd be miserable being a mother, so I decided not to be. You can never really understand what all you have until it's completely gone. Though, it just so happens that when you finally manage to get the guts and admit to yourself and to everybody around you how wrong and sorry you are it tends to be too late."

"But, it wasn't too late for you." I said.

She shook her head slowly. "It was way too late. Rebecca was gone and you were no longer mine but your dad's."

"I am yours." I stated vehemently. "I belong to all three of you."

Her green eyes softened, yet appeared pained. "No, hunny, you'll never be mine because I'll never deserve you."

"Mom, don't say awful things like that. If you don't deserve me then neither does my father and frankly he's hurt me a hell of a lot more than you ever could. You make yourself out be some sort of villain even though he abused you." Her eyes widened. "Yes, abused you. I know exactly how I came to be and don't for a second think that I'd ever make any sort of excuse for that kind of behaviour on his part. What he did was wrong, disgusting, and demeaning and I honestly believe that any girl in her right mind would have left and never looked back, but you looked back, mom, and you didn't just look back, you came back, and that's all I care about."

Her pretty green eyes teared up. "Ryan..." She breathed.

"Don't you dare cry." I laughed lightheartedly. "You know if you cry I'll be crying right along with you."

She let go of my hand and leaned back in her seat as she wiped at her leaking eyes. "You're such a perfect boy." She mumbled.

I smiled at my mom. "I think all mothers think that about their sons."

She shook her head as she forced back tears and wiped at her eyes once more. "No, I've met some women with some pretty terrible sons and they're well aware of how awful they are." She turned her head and met my gaze. "But, you're perfect, don't let anybody tell you otherwise." The woman may be a good one, but she's quite clearly delusional.

I turned the key in the ignition to check the time. 11:32PM. "What time do you work in the morning?" I asked her.

"Six." She replied.

"Mom!" I exclaimed. She's going to be a wreck tomorrow.

She gave me a little chuckle. "Okay, okay, I'm going in. Give me kiss first, though."

I leaned over the console and brushed a light kiss against her cheek. "Love you."

She pulled the handle and opened the door. "Love you too. Drive safely."

I cupped a hand around the back of my ear. "What was that? Drive dangerously and recklessly?" I teased.

She sighed as she bent and peered through the open door. "You heard me." She said with a smile.

"You're right, I did, I'll go nothing less than ten over the speed limit. Promise."

"You!" My mom laughed. "Get outta here!" She closed the door and I watched as she walked up the short driveway, down a little path and onto her front stoop. I waited for the door to be unlocked, opened, and lights turned on. She gave me a wave, entered the house, closed the door, and with a deep breath, I clicked off the light, put my foot down on the clutch, and turned the key the rest of the way to start the car. I backed out of the driveway and decided to just drive for a little bit. My parents would undoubtedly worry, but what kind of teenager would I be if I didn't cause them at least a little grief?

As I drove I found myself feeling depressed. I'm a naturally happy kind of wolf, yet I still find that I have moments where everything seems like complete and utter rubbish. Sometimes I wish I could just run away. Run away from the palace, run away from my parents, and run away from my responsibilities.

As much as people tended to joke about me, I really did feel like one. Everything about me is quite ironic really. I'm supposed to be a big tough brute. I'm supposed to be a ferocious wolf. I'm supposed to be strong and a natural leader. I'm supposed to be manly, a charmer, and love the ladies. I'm supposed to want to make puppies. I'm supposed to crave everything I don't want, and dislike everything I do. But, I don't want power, I do like simplicity, I'm hardly a charmer, I can't love the ladies more than friends, puppies of my own sound terrifying, with this face I couldn't be manly if I tried, and I don't feel strong – physically or mentally.

I honestly feel like a weak link in the chain of royalty. Apparently I'm a born leader, yet I'm horrified of leading in the wrong direction, letting somebody down, or getting somebody hurt because of something I demanded. I do my best to take care of people and I try not to order people to go in any sort of direction. Instead I'd prefer just to walk with them where ever they want to go and if they need help getting out of sticky situations along the way I'll be there for them. Also, If they took a wrong turn somewhere down the road I'd be right there at their side to tell them they aren't lost yet and that I'll make sure to find them their way back.

As for being a ferocious wolf, no, I'm a pretty wolf – a good looking wolf, an eye catching, jaw dropping, 'is that a boy or a girl?' kind of wolf. So, clearly being a big tough brute is out of the question. Yet, and I had to chuckle at this, I could remember so fervently thinking that I was going to be huge like my father when I was just a pup.

I could remember thinking Paul needed me to be big so I could take care of him properly and protect him. Protect him from what, I don't remember. I just... it was fun being little, you still had dreams when you were little, then as you grow you realize reality isn't really a place for dreamers. I was certainly a dreamer and I'm more than positive they consisted mainly of Paul.

I can distinctly remember him giving off this vibe that something was always extremely wrong inside him. I don't mean in a crazy sort of way, but I could feel this weight of sadness and torment on my heart whenever he held me close or met my eyes. You'd think that would be enough to scare any puppy away, but that was hardly the case. It made me dream of fixing him. I wanted to chase away those bad feelings of his. I wanted to make him feel good and feel right, and I do believe I would have done anything to do so. I don't doubt that that's probably still the case.

If I have one real regret it'd be forcing my feelings on him and thinking just because I felt a certain way he must too. I mean, I thought that's how it worked. If you love somebody then they automatically love you too. It worked for my dad, it worked for his wolves, and even for my uncle Emmett. How was I supposed to know it wouldn't work for me?

I came to a busy intersection and needed to turn left across the oncoming lane. The light was green, though traffic going the opposite direction poured past me and had the right of way. I crept up into the intersection, my back bumper near the white line and figured I could turn left when the light switched to yellow.

The CD I was listening to ended and I pressed the eject button on the car stereo to switch it with another. I went to pull it out, yet some how gripped it wrong and I ended up dropping it on the floor and having it roll by my feet. I checked the traffic light. Still green and still a heavy flow of traffic. I figured I had plenty of time.

I bent the best I could and my left shoulder hit the steering wheel while I tried to reach for the disc by my right foot. My index finger just barely nudged it and I accidentally moved it a little farther away. With an annoyed huff I strained against the steering wheel and stretched my arm the farthest I could. With the pads of my fingers I was able to scoot it a bit closer to me and finally get a grip on it.

A car horn startled me and caused me to once again drop the CD. With a bit of a fright I popped my head up to see what was going on. I first looked straight ahead to see that the light turned red, then as the car horn continued to honk I followed its noise to look out the window to my left. I felt my stomach instantly drop. I had seconds before a big black Ford truck would smash into my side.

In a panic I shifted into first, pressed the gas, though in my rush I popped the clutch too fast and stalled the car. I would do that. That would be my luck. I would screw up something as important as this. I had never been good at math, but I knew a big truck + my small car = a squished me, and all I could do is watch as the vehicle was only a moment away from hitting my car.

They say your life flashes before your eyes when you're about to die. Lies. All I could think about was the kingdom and what would happen to it if I died and with it the special alpha gene I carried. Would the world fall to ruin without a proper leader or would my father just remain king forever? Oh god, he'd be so mad at me for dying, and my dad would think I was so irresponsible too. My mother would for sure cry. I couldn't stand it when she cried – it hurt too much. Then what of Rachel? Who would protect her like only a big brother could? Who would she shoot with invisible silver bullets and who would douse her in fake holy water?

I squeezed my eyes shut and decided to trust in fate. Fate gave my father my dad who helped him fix an entire kingdom, and I just had to believe that if fate took my life it would be for a bigger and better purpose. My whole body tensed as I listened to the sound of metal crunch and tires screeching while a loud horn blew the entire time, yet through all that noise there was one particular thing that seemed the loudest to me - a heart wrenching cry of pain that only a shifted wolf could make.

After a few seconds of silence and me still living I realized nothing had actually hit my car. My eyes slowly opened to see the truck in the middle of the intersection ahead of me, yet it was still facing the same direction and still to the left of my car. That's when I noticed the huge dent in the side of it and the black tire marks on the pavement leading up to it. It looked exactly as if something had smashed into the side of it and shoved the truck away from my car just in time to save my life

My heart stopped dead in my chest as I connected the dots. The wolf's cry, the dent... What if it was my father? That's all I could think. What if I had taken too long to come home and he went out in search of me? What if I opened my door and he'd be laying dead beside my car? What if because of me my father died? My heart came back to life and slammed against the walls of my chest in a vehement display of utter panic.

I watched as people turned off their cars and ran to the man in the truck. He was fine. They looked my way and horror showed on their russet and pale faces. I had no choice, I had to get out of the car to see what I had done. I swallowed and blinked back tears of fright. I moved my left hand to the door handle and pulled it. I heard a click. I pushed and forced my legs to exit the car and my feet to hit the pavement. I rose from my seat and quietly closed the door, yet nothing could have ever prepared me for what I saw by my front tire.

I took a quick step forward and I fell to my knees as I screamed for help. Reflexively my hands buried themselves in the silvery-grey matted fur only to then catch sight of blood pooling from underneath him. My fingers touched ridges of bone. He was thin, incredibly thin. I could feel the dip of every rib and each sharp protrusion of his vertebrae. Again I screamed for help and finally people came running. "Somebody call 911!" A woman shouted.

"No." I called back to her. "A truck, who here is driving a truck? He needs to get to the palace. There's medical staff there." I didn't trust the shoddy doctors at some hospital. I knew our staff was mainly for 'accidents' in purgatory, but I knew they'd be the best by far.

"I do." A man breathily replied. I looked up to put a face to the voice and saw a black and hungry eyed vampire. He was tall and thin, dark brown hair, and his pale skin had a slight olive tone to it. I decided to take my chances.

"Where's it parked?" I quickly asked him.

"Behind you." He replied as he nodded in that direction.

I looked down at the unconscious, immobile, and bleeding wolf. "Okay, everybody, I need your hands to lift him as gently as possible. We need to get him into the bed of the truck." With a good team effort we moved him there with his weight equally supported. He took up almost all the space and I hopped in the back with him as I threw my keys to the man whose truck was totalled and told him to keep my Audi. I didn't know what else to do. I just needed to get the hell out of here.

I sat in the back of the truck, pulled the wolf's head to my lap and tugged off my shirt and pressed it firmly to an oozing wound on his side as the vampire started the ignition and headed off toward the palace. "Paul." I whispered while ugly and girly tears started stinging my eyes. "It's your angel, I'm taking you home." I didn't know if he could hear me or not, but I figured if he could he'd be scared. I prayed those were the right words. In any other situation I'd think calling myself his angel would be the last thing he'd want to hear, but he threw himself into the side of a truck to save my life. Didn't I have to mean something to him?

I had so many questions. Why'd he do it? Where did he come from? Where's he been? And, perhaps the most selfish one of them all, did he still love me? I didn't care in what sort of way. I was just desperate for some sort of love from him.

Trees whizzed by as the city turned to forested highway and I leaned down and pressed my cheek to the top of his furry head for comfort. I wasn't sure if it was for me or him. "What happened to you?" I murmured by his ear.


	5. Chapter 5

**So, you guys must know I love you all a ton, right? Well, I do. Here's my proof. Instead of packing yesterday I finished this chapter up because I felt bad leaving you all with the ending of that last chapter. I _was_ going to save this chapter so I had something to post once got and internet connection after my move, but since I'm _SO_ thoughtful I wanted to give you guys more. **

**Can't say when my next update will be. Hopefully within a week.**

* * *

**Chapter Five**

With the truck coming to a screeching halt in front of the palace I shrieked for the guards outside the front door to get my parents and the doctor. My shirt was drenched in Paul's blood and my hands were covered in it as I fruitlessly continued to try and slow the bleeding down. The vampire that drove came around the side of the truck and after taking one look at all the blood he said he needed to leave. I didn't argue, in fact I didn't care and the vampire was gone before I could even reply.

Seconds later my parents emerged from the palace, both barefoot and in nothing but sleep pants. "Dad!" I screamed. They both reacted knowing that with my tone I was screaming for the both of them. They ran to the back of the truck and both peered into the bed of it. Both their eyes widened in shock and disbelief.

"Paul..." My father breathed as he yanked open the tailgate.

My dad pressed his pale and cool hands into the wolf's fur along his haunches. "What happened?" He exclaimed. My frantic mind was clearly not giving him the answers he needed.

"He saved my life." Was all I was able to say.

My father hopped up into the back. "Ed, help me lift him out. We need to get him inside."

"But, hun, I really don't think we should move him without the doctor saying so."

My father snapped his head back to angrily glare daggers at my dad. "I said help me get him the fuck out, Edward!" He yelled in a bit of a panic. My dad only nodded in response and lifted Paul's backside while my father lifted the front. Carefully my father got out of the bed of the truck with the wolf in hand and me following close behind.

We made it up the front steps to be met by Dr. Cullen, a handsome, slim built, blonde haired, golden-eyed vampire that appeared to be in his late 20's. He quickly turned away and motioned for us to follow. He lead us down to purgatory and into probably the nicest part there was of it, an operating room. So, it really wasn't all that settling.

In his wolf form Paul was too big for the table so the doctor spread out a sheet on the floor and told them to place the wolf on top. Crouching, he hurriedly checked Paul's vitals and felt around his sides and stomach, though kept a blank and expressionless face that told me nothing. Dr. Cullen went to a drawer where he pulled out a vial of clear fluid then went to another drawer where he removed a syringe.

As the doctor filled the syringe with the fluid as he spoke. "The wolf is far too weak to heal in this form - he wouldn't even be able to shift back if he tried. The problem is I can't properly treat him like this. So, what I really need is for him to be back in his human body, so with your permission, your majesty and your grace, I'd like to administer this," He held up the syringe. "To force his body to phase."

"Do whatever you need to do." My father hurriedly replied and my dad nodded along in agreement.

"Will it hurt him?" I questioned.

Dr. Cullen gave me an empathetic frown. "It'll wake him. He won't like it." He explained. I pressed a bloodstained hand to my mouth to conceal my unhappy reaction. My dad strode over standing behind me and wrapped his cool arms around my shoulders to hold me close, and in a way the cool skin of his front was soothing on the warm skin of my back. I placed my hands on his arms and squeezed them tight as the doctor injected the wolf with the medication. I suddenly realized something. My dad was holding me the exact same way he was when Paul left. Yet, when Paul left, he wasn't really holding me, but rather holding me back.

The wolf's back was to me, the doctor at his head, and my father kneeling and facing toward me with his hands stroking Paul's fur. "Any moment now." Dr. Cullen murmured. Paul's paws started to twitch as a long low rumbling growl immersed from his throat, yet it gradually turned into a strained and pained whimper.

His eyes shot open as fretful and agonized canine cries left him while the bones in his body slowly started to break and his muscles began to tear. With wide green eyes I could see the exceedingly slow movement of his body beginning to take another shape. His fur almost looked like it was rippling as his insides rearranged under his flesh.

I bit my bottom lip as his cries got louder. My father pressed a hand to the wolf's cheek. "It's going to be okay, Paul, just let it happen, don't fight it." He told him. I couldn't believe what I started to see next. Right before my eyes I helplessly watched his fur start to disappear while his face began to flatten, yet I couldn't help but flinch and shudder when his pelvis and shoulders collapsed causing the poor wolf to shriek in agony. They crunched, snapped, and cracked to reform his body as his bald tail receded into his body. Gradually his slender legs thickened turning into human limbs while his feet and hands awkwardly contorted as they took their proper shape.

"Jake!" Paul cried in anguish. Immediately my father reacted by covering Paul's slender lower body in the sheet. The wolf was on his side, boney hands latched onto my father's arm that had its hand on the wolf's face, while his ill looking body became wracked with sobs. The beautiful copper skin I was expecting was an unhealthy brownish grey, his ribs stuck from his sides, his vertebrae appeared sharp enough to slice through his skin, and his shoulder blades protruded from his back. "Tell me I got there in time! Tell me he's okay!" I can't even begin to describe the look on my father's face as he took in the sight of his old beta and the gasp of breath from my dad behind me had knowing we all felt the exact same way. Horrified.

My dad took his hand away from Paul's face and held the wolf's hands in his own. "You saved our puppy, Paul. You did real good."

I went to walk forward to get to Paul, but my dad held me tightly back. "I don't know how he'll react to you. He's not thinking clearly." He whispered into my ear. I looked over my shoulder at my dad and told him with my thoughts that I wouldn't allow him to keep me from the wolf this time around. My dad sighed and nodded as he let me go.

I walked around the doctor and came to the front of the wolf. I crumpled to my knees and forced back tears as I got a good look at his face. It was pasty, he had large dark circles under his eyes, yet what hurt me the most was how sad and pained he appeared as he sobbed. "Paulie." I breathed and his watered down eyes caught mine. "You were my angel tonight. You kept me safe."

Paul's sobs silenced as he gazed up at me in a way that made me think he wasn't quite sure who he was looking at. "Ryan?" He murmured through a thick throat.

"It's me, Paulie. I'm here."

He gave me the saddest most desperate look as he let go of my father and let his hands slip to the polished concrete floor. "I don't feel very good." He quietly groaned. My heart shattered into a thousand pieces for him and tears beyond my control escaped me.

"My king, we need to get him up to the table. I really need to get to the wound on his stomach." Dr. Cullen stated. I was so busy looking at his face I hadn't thought to look down. Reluctantly my eyes left his and examined his stomach and I felt myself cringe at the sight of the deep oozing wound to the right of his navel.

The wolf caught my eyes. "Is it bad? It feels bad." He asked so quietly I was questioning if I had actually heard it.

I shook my head as tears dampened my cheeks. "It looks fine, you'll be fine." I said in an effort to reassure him. Carefully my father and the doctor lifted him. I stood and followed as they gently placed him onto the operating table with the sheet still covering him. Dr. Cullen then turned his back to go gather the supplies he needed.

"I don't feel good." Paul mumbled.

My father stood by his legs and pressed a hand to his shin. "You're okay, Paul, we'll get you better."

"No, I really don't feel good." I watched as the wolf struggled to move. It looked like he was trying to turn over, yet was too weak to do so. I then noticed the muscles in his abdomen tightening and I was at the table in less than a second to roll him onto his side. Instantly the wolf was vomiting off the edge of the table. The fact that he had been so close to choking on it terrified me and caused my emotions to overflow as I held protectively onto the wolf as he continued to get sick.

I craned my neck to flick my eyes between my dad and my father. "What's wrong with him?" I bellowed as hideous girly tears streamed my cheeks. "Why does he look like this? Why is he so sick?"

"I missed you too much." Paul said between dry heaves which only caused my eyes to flood with more tears. I didn't understand any of this. I couldn't fathom why Paul would ever look like this and as I gazed at my parents for answers they only remained silent.

I turned my attention to Paul and laid him onto his back once he was finished. Dr. Cullen came over with his medical supplies and began cleaning around the wound. I took my hands off the wolf and went to move to give the doctor more room, but a thin hand stopped me. "Please don't." The wolf pleaded. I went back to him and took his hand in mine and laced our fingers.

I held his arm up a bit and hugged it against my chest. "Don't what?" I asked him.

"Go."

I shook my head as yet more tears spilled from my eyes. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Or cry."

I gave the wolf a little teary eyed smile. "I can't help it." I admitted.

Even through all his pain he gave me a little smile of his own. "I always like your hair that way, angel. The waves are beautiful." His voice was deep and loving and just how I remembered. I had longed to hear his voice say just that, and I had longed for that stupid compliment. It was just as amazing as I remembered.

The doctor shuffled down the table to speak with Paul. "Mr. Lahote is it? I believe I remember you from long ago." The wolf just barely nodded in reply. "You're no longer bleeding; however, I doubt you will heal given the circumstances. You need a... _few_ stitches, but I'd like to get an I.V. going first. You're body desperately needs fluids, plus I believe a healthy dose of morphine is in order. No more pain is needed for tonight." He explained.

Paul squeezed my hand. "Nothing for pain. I'm scared I'll sleep." He murmured in confession. The doctor nodded at his request and went to grab all he needed to set up the I.V..

"Why are you scared to sleep?" I queried.

His eyes watered as the met mine and I swept away the tears that slipped down his temples. "I want this to last... it can't be real. I don't want to fall asleep and wake up with you gone."

"Paulie." I moaned as I gently put his hand down and I leaned over him to press my cheek against his while I held his other cheek in my hand just in the effort to be as close as I could to him. My other hand gripped his shoulder and I didn't dare to ever let him go. "Feel me, I'm here, I'm real, and I'm not going anywhere." Out of the corner of my eye I watched as both my parents approached the doctor and I heard them both order him to give Paul the pain medication despite what the wolf had said.

Paul's hand came up and tightly gripped my hand that cupped his cheek as he shook beneath me while he cried. "No, it can't be. Even an angel wouldn't touch me like this."

I shook my head against his cheek. "This one would." I told him. "Nothing could stop me."

"You shouldn't. I'm dirty."

"No," I breathed. "You're beautiful."

The wolf began to sob. "I'm used."

"You're brand new to me."

I stood up as the doctor came over with all his equipment, yet I kept my hand to the wolf's cheek and my palm to his shoulder. "Mr. Lahote, you're going to feel a little prick in a moment." He informed him as he cleaned the top of Paul's hand with an alcohol swab. I watched as Dr. Cullen inserted the needle, taped it in place, then attached the tubing and got the portable machine to pump the fluids, though not before he inserted a syringe into the tube to administer the morphine.

Paul's sobs quieted as his eyes widened slightly. I'm sure it was because he felt the immediate rush of the medication. "Feel good?" I asked him.

"Yeah." He sighed. With Paul seemingly calming my dad took the opportunity to come over. "Ed..." the wolf breathed as he let go of my hand. "What're you doing here?"

I took my hand off his cheek and moved the one from his shoulder to his chest. "Because of the morphine Mr. Lahote should be sound asleep in a few minutes. I'd like to wait until then to close the wound. I think it'd be better for him if he was out for it." I heard Dr. Cullen whisper to my father who kindly agreed.

My dad chuckled as he gazed down at Paul. "You didn't think I'd miss this do you?" He queried as he brought a hand up and started running the tips of his fingers through the wolf's dishevelled hair.

"No, s'pose not. You were always in my business." Paul mumbled as his eyelids began to droop.

My dad smiled the wolf. "What else are best friends for?"

"Yeah, no, that's just you, Ed." Paul said with the slightest of smiles. "I look like shit don't I?"

Again my dad chuckled. "You've certainly done a number on yourself." He replied.

Paul blinked, though his eyes remained closed for a few seconds before he slowly reopened them. "I love him." He whispered. "I love Ryan too much." Suddenly his tired eyes overflowed with tears. "What have I done?"

In an instant I was pushing my dad away and taking his spot. I leaned over the wolf so he didn't have to strain his eyes to see me and just like my dad had done I put my hand in his hair. "Look at me, Paul." The wolf did as told and I took my other hand off his chest to wipe away his tears. "What is it that you think you did?"

"I didn't mean to do it." He cried.

"Do what, Paulie?" I asked while I continued to clean away his tears.

"I'm a bad wolf for it."

"For what?" I anxiously breathed.

His throat bobbed and he swallowed uncomfortably. "If I could love you properly I would." He seemingly, though very quietly confessed.

I shook my head. "You love me perfectly." I insisted.

"No, you're my imprint and I can't even give you what you want."

For a moment I swear the whole world fell silent. "What?" I gasped. He gave me a little clueless look – he'd already forgotten what he'd said.

"I want to go home now." He murmured, and my eyes overflowed with stupid and ugly tears with his words. "You're even pretty when you cry." Oh god, Paul called me pretty. I hated when people called me that, yet when he did it sounded so wonderful and it made me actually want to be pretty because he liked it.

"You are home." I tried to assure him.

"No, this isn't my room."

I smiled at the wolf through my tears. "Dr. Cullen is fixing you up and then we'll take you to your room." His eyes slowly closed as I spoke.

"I'm tired." He lightly whispered.

"Go to sleep, Paulie."

His eyes just barely opened to look at me as I brushed my fingers along his scalp to soothe him. "Promise me this is real and I'll see you again."

I nodded. "I promise you that your angel will be the first thing you see when you open your eyes in the morning." With that said the wolf's eyes closed, his breathing evened, and his heart calmed.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

Very, very carefully Paul was brought to his room and like the obsessive little freak I was when it came to the wolf I had to make it perfect for him. I had laid on his bed too many times and made to many wrinkles and I thought the wolf would hate that. So, I grabbed some sheets Paul had neatly stored in his closet along with the iron and ironing board. I have never in my life ironed, but I quickly learnt and made sure the material didn't so much as have one single itty-bitty crease.

As of right now the wolf slept soundly in his single bed and because he was so slender he almost looked small in it. A light comforter was placed over him, though his right arm laid on top of it since he was still connected to the I.V. and I held his boney hand in mine. Dr. Cullen did a wonderful job stitching him up and mentioned that with me at the wolf's side he shouldn't take long to heal provided he's able to get some good food into him.

I sat on Paul's computer chair and watched him sleep while my parents sat silently beside me in two chairs they brought in themselves, my dad sat closest to me. The more I looked at the wolf the worse I felt and I eventually lost it. I let go of Paul and my hands came up to cover my face as thick sad and guilty tears leaked from my eyes. I knew this was all my fault. I knew I had done this Paul. If I had been a good boy and kept my mouth shut about wanting the wolf and I to be together like my parents consistently told me to do he'd have never gotten this way. I should have listened. Dad and father told me over and over that it upset Paul and that he believed he wasn't my mate, yet I never understood. I thought they were bluffing just to get me to cool it since the wolf himself never said anything.

My selfishness had driven Paul to these extremes and now I finally understood why he left. It had nothing to with not loving me, but rather we loved each other differently. I wanted him so badly. I was living in a fantasy world thinking everything was going to go a certain way. I kept talking and talking and talking. I would talk about our whole lives together for hours with Paul. I had our whole future planned out. I wanted to marry him when I was 18, just like my dad had done. Although, I wanted a smaller more intimate and prettier wedding. I wanted colors, flowers, and wonderful decorations. I even had the centerpieces picked out for the dining tables by the time I was nine. What 9-year-old little boy has centerpieces picked out for their wedding, flaming homosexual or not?

Back then I even wanted puppies, and I'd blabber on to Paul about all the pups we'd have. Of course at that time no one had thought to tell me two boys couldn't have babies. God, Paul must have thought I was such a moron, but how was I supposed to know? I just assumed when two people were in love they could have babies. I must have driven the poor wolf mad... what a stupid statement, clearly I did, and enough for him to run away from home.

I brought my knee's up and my feet onto the chair. I wrapped my arms around my knees and I rested my forehead between them as I closed my teary eyes. I was horrible. I was so damn horrible to Paul. It really was a fantasy, and a mean and selfish one at that. Was it worth it? Was it really fucking worth it? Look at what I did to him, because I did do that. Maybe not purposely, but him laying on that bed so sick and nothing but a bag of bones was a direct result of my actions.

I always thought I was a nice wolf, a kind wolf, though as it turns out I'm the worst kind of wolf. I ruin people. I ruined Paul. I was supposed to love him, yet all I did was let him down. I failed him. His own imprint failed him. His own imprint failed him and nearly killed him. I nearly killed him...

My dad scooted his chair close to mine and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. I turned towards him and buried my face against his pale chest in attempt to hide my tears and my shame. Both my parents were still shirtless; however, I had pulled on one of Paul's shirts that was at least two sizes too big before I ironed his bedding.

"It'd break Paul's heart if he knew you were thinking like that. You were just a puppy who misinterpreted the connection you and Paul have." He softly told me.

My father dragged his chair over to us and I felt his warm hand on my back. "What were you thinking, puppy?" He queried in a whisper. Normally I'd be insulted that he called me a puppy, but at the moment it felt comforting to have my daddy call me that.

I turned my head and looked up at my father. "That this is all my fault."

An angry and red faced look contorted my father's features and he flicked his gaze to my dad's. "I hope you know this your fucking fault, Edward. I never should have listened to you. You told me to let him go, that he needed to find himself and that getting away from the palace would be good for him. Really? _Really? _I have no doubt in my mind that in only few short days Paul would have been dead if Ryan hadn't needed him. Fucking look at the wolf, can you see what you made me do to him? I wanted to keep him home because I saw this coming from miles a-fucking-way! He was my wolf and under my care, yet I listened to you, Edward, and look what fucking happened! I wanted to order him to stay here and to stay with his imprint, but you insisted that I should let him do what _he_ wanted. Wolves need alpha's for a fucking reason. This is just one of them. Yet, you bitched like a damn woman until you got your way. Well, I hope you're fucking happy." My father furiously, though quietly snapped.

"You did the right thing." My dad calmly replied.

My father fervently shook his head. "No, Ed, I did the worst thing possible for him. I let him go off and slowly fucking kill himself. Do you know how many times I've screwed that poor wolf over? Now I can add letting him torture himself for five fucking years to the list. Five years, Ed, five years I allowed him to go without Ryan."

"Paul needed this, hun. In time you'll see."

My fathers hand dropped from my back and I watched his hands clench as his body began to shake. "You're wrong, Ed, this is just another thing that'll inevitably lead to the destruction of Paul, which of course is all my fault. First I had to let his fucking mother die, then I didn't do enough to keep him out of prison. God only knows how many-"

"That is not your story to tell." My dad lowly hissed.

My father's brows furrowed and his knuckles turned white as he squeezed his closed fists. "Why shouldn't our son know what he's dealing with? Why shouldn't he know that Paul was sent to prison because I was a useless fucking cunt of a prince, and why shouldn't our son know that because I was such a useless fucking cunt of prince Paul was passed around the damn prison like some two-bit whore." My eyes widened and I heard myself gasp with my father's words.

"Jacob!" My dad snarled.

"What? It's the fucking truth and that's exactly why the wolf can't even touch his own dick to goddamn piss. Paul is fucked in the head, Edward, you and I both know it." My father paused and motioned around his room. "Look at this fucking space for Christ sake, who the fuck labels every single goddamn item in their fucking room? Yet, the horrible truth of the matter is that every shitty thing in the wolf's life I could have prevented and every little fucked up thing inside his head is because of something I did wrong. Besides the obvious, what do you think those five years without Ryan has done to him?"

My dad sighed as he brought his other hand to me and began to brush his cool fingers through my hair. "He's a strong wolf. I know he can get past this."

My father gave him a look as if he were crazy. "No, baby, you want him to be a strong wolf, but you need to finally realize the hard truth – he fucking isn't. He's sensitive, he's disturbed, and he's damaged. I can remember the way Paul used to be as if it were yesterday. He was such a little prick, yet so damn sweet at the same time. His laughter was loud and it was one of those laughs that when he laughed everybody laughed. He was always smiling and he was such a free spirit. He joked around, loved to horseplay, couldn't be serious if he tried, and he was confident and comfortable in his own skin, and so much so I once had to send Jared to pick him up at the police station because he got caught streaking at a high school football game. I screamed at him after that and told him that he was an embarrassment. Grinning like an idiot he laughed in response and said I needed to lighten up, it was just for fun, it was a good laugh, and he'd had a blast doing it. I put him in solitary for a week I was so pissed."

My father scrubbed his hands across his face and through his hair before he looked to me and continued on. "I have no clue why fate picked you for Paul. For years I thought one day something inside the wolf would eventually click and he'd realize that you two were mates, but as time has passed it was me that came to realize that Paul and you really aren't meant to be together, he can't be fixed, he'll always be this dark lurking shadow, and we'll never know who the real Paul _could_ have been."

* * *

I ever so slowly felt myself wake with an uncomfortable crick in my neck. I opened my eyes and had a view of Paul's floor. That's when everything from last night hit me – _Paul was home_. I was sitting with my knees bent and my legs to the left on the floor while I awkwardly leaned to the right with my head on the edge of the mattress.

"This isn't fucking right. It just isn't right." I heard the wolf mutter to himself behind me. I furrowed my brows - behind me? I stood up to see that his bed was empty and perfectly made while the I.V. by his bedside was turned off and very clearly no longer attached to him. I turned around to see him standing in front of the large bookshelf that adorned the wall that the end of his bed faced.

The wolf wore nothing but a very loose fitting pair of black sweats, both his actions and his thin arms attached to a skinny body caused me to frown. At a quick and fretful pace he was shuffling around his books and whispering things to himself under his breath. Taking a deep breath I walked over to him and once at his side I placed a warm hand to his arm that felt cool to the touch. His head whipped to the side to look at me as he gasped in surprise.

With my hand still on his arm I used the other to lift a book. "Can I help you organize them?" I asked him even though I thought they were fine before - I had gone through them plenty of times and they were previously sorted alphabetically.

Abruptly he shoved my hand from his arm and snatched the book from my grasp. "Don't touch my things." He snapped and quickly went back to what looked to be sorting the books by color and size in quite the panic. "This isn't working." He breathed. "They're looking at me all wrong!" He went on to bellow. I watched as the wolf's face contorted into a hideous look of pain as he struggled with his books.

I placed a hand on top of his to try and take his attention away from his task. "Paulie, why don't we go get some breakfast?" I suggested.

The wolf turned his head my way and gave me a furious gaze as he hit my hand away from his. "Don't fucking touch me." He hissed. Paul's reaction to me left me feeling shell shocked. His attitude had done a complete 180 compared to last night.

"Paul, come on, it's me."

His already furious gaze turned heated. "I know who the fuck you are. Do you think I'm stupid?" He angrily questioned.

I shook my head with a sad little frown. "Of course I don't."

"Then stop acting like I'm fucking stupid!" He shouted.

I shrunk back with a slight bit of fear. "I'm not acting like anything." I timidly whispered. Suddenly the book Paul held onto dropped from his hand while his eyes widened as his rage completely dissipated.

The wolf turned his body toward me. "I'm sorry." He quietly apologized. "I don't know what I was thinking." He shook his head a little. "Am thinking."

Taking a chance I lifted my hand and placed it to his cheek. Paul reacted by leaning into the touch and bringing up his two hands to keep mine from leaving him. "What's going on in that head of yours, Paulie?" I queried.

"Do you really want to know?" I gave him a little smile and a nod. "I get all these things stuck in my head, bad things, then all these bad things make everything else look wrong. Sometimes I can fix it and make things look perfect, but these books..." Paul put my hand to my side as he turned himself back to the bookshelf and that angry look returned to his face. Startling me he shot forward with a loud growl and swept his thin arms along each shelf to knock all the books to floor. "There's nothing fucking perfect about them!" He screamed. With a clear bookshelf the wolf stood back with his chest heaving as he gulped down air, his frail body tired from the simple exertion.

Gradually his head moved downward to look at all the books around his bare feet. "This just isn't right. This just isn't fucking right. They're not working and I can't find the pattern to make them perfect. If they're not perfect they're wrong. Wrong means bad. Bad means awful, awful things..." As Paul muttered to himself I decided that his closet wasn't so endearing anymore. I couldn't imagine how many hours he spent tormenting himself to get it that way.

"There's no such thing as perfect." I said over his ramblings.

He immediately ceased his words and brought his attention to me. "Yes there is. I look at you and see nothing but perfection."

I quirked a brow. "Have you had you eyes checked?" I teased.

Despite how discolored and thin his face was he managed to give me a cute little look. "Not lately."

I smiled and chuckled lightly to myself as my eyes fell shyly to the ground. As I caught sight of the mess of books I got an idea. I popped my eyes back up to meet the wolf's gaze and I gave him a mischievous grin. "Hey Paul, why don't we burn them?"

The wolf cocked his head. "The books?" He asked.

"Yeah, on the beach, just you and me." I happily explained

"Seriously?" He questioned with a hopeful tone.

I nodded. "Yes, unless you plan on reading them."

He shook his head no. "I've read them all already. They're just here to take up shelf space."

"Hmm, much like all those bad thoughts in your mind of yours I'd say." I mused as I walked over to the large bay window to the left of the bookshelf. I hopped up on the cushions, pulled open the blinds along with one of the windows and turned back to Paul. "Lets chuck all the books out here. I don't particularly feel like lugging them down the palace stairs then all the way around the palace and to the beach."

* * *

Only an hour later I was rushing back to the beach with a final load of books in a big cardboard box with bare feet while I wore my jeans from yesterday and Paul's t-shirt that I'd stolen from his closet along with a backpack on my shoulders that I had gotten from inside the palace and stocked it full of goodies on this last trip.

Paul tried to insist that he should help me carry the books. I politely declined, I couldn't imagine his poor little arms trying to hold this thing up. Anyway, I told him if he wanted to help then he should get the fire going nice and big for me. I think he was a little relieved that I gave him a task that better suited him, for now at least – I had all the hope in the world that he'd look good as new in no time.

On the way back to the beach I went by a big tree and pulled two long and skinny sticks off it to bring with me. After that I shoved my way through some bushes, followed the scent of smoke and scurried down the beach a little ways to where I had left Paul. As I approached I could see him leaned against a washed up log with the fire going strong ahead of him, though his arms were crossed over each other like he was cold. The thin white t-shirt wasn't enough for him. I looked up at the sky and frowned. It would be nice if the world would give the wolf a nice warm sun instead of ugly overcast skies.

I dumped out the box of books to the left of Paul in the pile with all the others and took a seat at his right. I stuck my sticks in the sand beside me and scooted as close to Paul as I could get while I pulled my backpack from my shoulders and sat it to my right. I unzipped a large compartment and pulled out a black pullover hoodie. I placed it in his lap. "Sorry, I hope you don't mind me going in your room without your permission, but I had a feeling you might be cold." I explained to him.

The wolf quickly bundled himself up in the warm shirt then looked to me. "No, don't be sorry. I appreciate it. Plus, it means you were thinking about me."

"I love you, of course I think about you." The wolf gave me a sad little scowl in reaction to my confession and I watched his throat bob uncomfortably as well. "But, that doesn't mean if I never feel your lips on mine or your hands on my body that I'll ever for a second love you any less." I gave him a big cutesy grin and a shrug of my shoulders. "You're my Paulie, you've always been my Paulie and if all we're meant to be is friends then I'm perfectly happy with that." For a second I thought I was lying to the wolf, yet the more I thought about it I really was perfectly happy with that. The niggling emptiness in my chest was gone and just being able to look at the man made me feel complete.

Paul met my gaze and his eyes were extremely hope filled, like he was just praying that I was speaking the truth. "Honestly?" He queried.

"Well, under certain conditions of course." I playfully stated.

He gave me just the faintest ghost of a smile. "Like what?"

"For one can I hug every time I'm sad or need to feel you close?"

He nodded. "I'd like that." He replied.

I moved my hand to the wolf's lap where his hand rested. I pressed my hand into his and laced our fingers. "When it's just us and we're out like this can I hold your hand so I know you're really there and it's not all a dream?"

Again he nodded and that ghost of smile slowly broadened. "I'd really like that." He commented as he gave my hand a small squeeze.

"Late at night can I cuddle up to you while we watch scary movies in my room with all the lights turned off?"

His smile continued to widen. "That actually sounds... _fun_." He said 'fun' like it was some mythical thing. I prayed I could give him fun.

"Lastly," And I was probably pushing it. "I have to be able to kiss you, that just goes without saying."

The wolf's minute smile immediately fell from his face. "But you said..." He whispered and his voice drifted off.

I brought up his hand close to my mouth. "I want to be able to kiss you like this." I press my lips to the back of his hand for a sweet and tender little kiss. "And like this." I put his hand gently on his lap and rose up a bit to place a hand on his right cheek and tuck a kiss into the left side of his hair. Afterwards, I smiled and faced the wolf. "I said I didn't have to kiss your lips, not that I didn't have to kiss you. Were those okay?"

Of his own volition Paul reached over and took my hand in his and just like I had done he pressed his lips to the back of it – I just about died and went straight off to heaven. "Only if I can do it too." He murmured.

I grinned and nodded enthusiastically. "Of course! Now hand me one of those books." The wolf let go of my hand and did as I requested. He leaned to his left, grabbed a small paperback and handed it over to me. I took the book and waved it around in the air a bit. "Paulie, I want each one of these books to mean something. One book equals one bad thought you often get stuck in your brain. When you throw the book into the fire I want you to say what you're burning away... Like this." I took a deep breath and thought of something that really bothered me. "Fuck my father for abandoning me as baby!" I hollered as I chucked the book into the flames. Ash shot upward into the air and the cool breeze carried it off over the ocean.

I held my hand out for another and the wolf gave me one. "Fuck him for acting like I didn't matter!" I furiously shouted as I threw it into the fire. Paul instantly gave me another. "And fuck him for walking past me in the halls and pretending like I didn't even goddamn exist!" I screamed in rage as I tossed the stupid book into the heat with all my strength.

Paul touched a hand to my knee. "You okay?" He asked, his tone showing concern.

With huff of breath I looked to the wolf. "I feel a little bit better actually. Your turn." He carefully picked up a book and looked deep in thought. "No, you're thinking to hard. Clear your mind then say the first thing that pops into it."

He stared at the book he fingered in his hand. "Prison." He muttered under his breath. His pained and soulful brown eyes flicked to mine. "Do you know what happened to me in there?"

I swallowed as the torment in his heart reached out to mine. I could feel every little bit of it. His pain, his sorrow, and the innocence he had stolen from him. My father never explained why he went to prison, but I knew and felt Paul's emotions well enough to know he didn't deserve to be in there. I wasn't going to ask why he was. I wasn't going to pry. Whatever he told me I wanted it be because he wanted to.

I nodded at the wolf. "You know what, Paulie?" I lifted the book from his hands. "Fuck each and every one of those cunts that hurt you!" I yelled as I slammed the book into the growing flames.

Again Paul passed me a book. "Fuck them for touching you!" I threw it and he immediately handed me another. "Fuck them for taking your body against your will!" Another. "Fuck them for destroying you." Another. "And fuck them for killing you!" I shrieked at the top of my lungs while I wailed the book into the fire.

The wolf gave me a funny look. "Killed me?"

I turned my head to meet Paul's eyes as my lungs sucked in smokey air. "You may still have a heartbeat, but we both know you left there feeling dead inside." It was odd, it felt like everything was falling into place. The wolf's distance, his agony, everything was finally clear to me. I know I pushed him away. I know I hurt him each time I called us mates because of what he went through, but I was better now, I understood, and now I could finally be the proper angel he needed all along.

"I do feel like that." He breathed.

I wrapped my arm around his and held it close. "I need you to promise me something." I told him.

"What is it?"

"As your imprint I need you to promise me that you won't leave again. You don't need to make yourself sick anymore being away from me. I finally understand what it is we're supposed to be. I'm your angel and I promise I'll protect you from all the bad things inside you."

The wolf gave me a distraught little look. "I don't think you can, but you have no idea how badly I want you to try. I won't go anywhere. I promise I'll stay for as long as you want me."

I smiled at the wolf. "Paulie... I'll always want you." I leaned over and gave him a small but loving peck on the cheek just before I turned away and grabbed my pack at my side. I zipped open the second compartment. I dug my hand in there and pulled out two bottles of water and an apple. I handed a water to him along with the apple. "Eat and drink that. If you're feeling good after, well..." I pulled out hotdogs along with buns, ketchup, and what's a fire without marshmallows? "Dr. Cullen said you needed to get some good food into you. I hope he meant junk food since that's the best kind."

The wolf chuckled and that made me grin wildly. "I was wondering what you were doing with those two sticks." He said.

I laughed. "What did you think I brought them for?"

Paul shrugged and gave me the warmest most beautiful smile a wolf could ever give me. "Thought you were gonna make me play fetch or something." He jested in _fun._


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

I couldn't for the life of me sleep, all because I can't keep my mind off Paul who was currently all by himself in his room and way too far away. We had spent the whole day together avoiding absolutely everybody. It was wonderful and it felt amazing just to be in his presence.

The book burning went exceptionally well and after he ate his apple, three hotdogs, and who knows how many marshmallows he was chucking the books in the flames like a mad man and yelling out every issue that came to his mind. In a strange way it was kind of fun as we took turns. I'd scream something, then him, then me and so on.

I learnt so much about him, admittedly none of it was all the pleasant, but at least I now knew a lot of the things that troubled him. Honestly, I couldn't believe how open he was with me. He told me all about his mother, her being turned, and how his father killed her, yet he went to prison for it. He told me bits and pieces about his prison stay, nothing in great detail, though enough to know exactly what went on in there.

If it wasn't for the fact that I could literally feel the anguish inside his heart I'd never know or even be able to comprehend how it truly affected him. I wanted so badly to erase those memories for him, yet I knew it was impossible. The only thing I could think of to help the wolf was to create new, better, stronger, and more powerful memories for him to look back on. When he looks into his past I want good memories to overshadow his bad ones, and ultimately that was my mission.

Earlier, I waited for him in his room while he showered before bed and just for curiosities sake I switched around two labels on his nightstand to see how he'd react if he noticed. One label belonged to a picture frame that had a photo of him and me in it. The picture was taken at my sixth birthday party. He was in his wolf form laying in some grass with me snuggled in his fur. I looked ridiculously happy and the wolf looked sleepy but content. As for the other label it belonged to his digital alarm clock.

Coming out fresh from his bathroom the wolf gave me a hint of smile as he pulled on a blue t-shirt along the way. Paul sat beside me on the edge of his bed closest to his night stand. My green eyes met his brown ones and he sighed while I smiled at the noticeable difference of the color of his skin. It still looked a little grey, though I had a feeling it'd be back to normal in the morning.

Paul placed a thin hand on top of my own that rested on his bed between us. "It's probably very wrong of me to think this, but I'm grateful for that truck. My insides don't feel like they're burning anymore, my muscles no longer feel torn, my bones don't ache, and my heart doesn't want to quit all because I have you so close. Also, Ryan, I do love having you near, and when I said I didn't love you all those years ago I didn't mean it, not one bit. I wanted to stay, believe me I did, but I just wanted to give you chance. I didn't want to hold you back."

I shook my head and turned over my hand so I could curl my fingers around his. "I can understand why you left. But, Paulie, never ever be that stupid again." I firmly stated.

The wolf cocked his head. "You think it was stupid that I left?" He queried.

"Incredibly stupid."

The wolf hummed with a little huff of breath. "And here I thought it was pure genius. I even got a makeover." He playfully jested. God, I just loved when he could be lighthearted.

"More like one hell of a _makeunder_."

Paul gave me a teensy grin as he gave my hand a squeeze. "What, you don't think I'm pretty?"

I shook my head no and chuckled. "You were never pretty, Paul, more like devilishly handsome." I happily informed him.

"Mmm, no, I don't believe you. You're too biased."

"Biased?" I laughed. "Well, maybe a little... but I know a good looking wolf when I see one, and, Paulie, there's no finer wolf than you."

He scooted closer until the sides of our thighs were touching and brought our connected hands to his lap. "Then you mustn't own a mirror because there is not a person on this planet more breathtaking than you."

I smiled softly at the wolf. "I believe you're the biased one. Isn't it a rule of thumb that a wolf must think his imprint is beautiful?" I questioned.

Paul shrugged. "Can't say, I've ever read the imprinting rulebook, but I doubt it matters much because I don't even think you're beautiful – I know so."

"Huh, you know, you probably should have picked up that book before you decided to disappear for five years."

"Probably, but at least I got a cool story out of it. Who else can say they've run into the side of a two and half ton truck to save his royal highness? Which begs the question, what the hell were you doing just sitting out there in the intersection like that?" He asked me.

"No, I think the real question is how the hell did you know I was sitting out there in the intersection like that?"

Again the wolf shrugged; though this time he twisted his body slightly and leaned over to me. "Can I get close to you?" He timidly whispered. I turned to better face him, let go of his hand, and held out my arms to him. He reacted immediately and tucked himself against me as he nuzzled his face into the crook of my neck. His hands stayed to himself, but I didn't mind, I could hug enough for the both of us. I wrapped my arms around him and held him possessively and protectively. I know I said I'd protect him from the ugly world inside his head, yet I know just as well that I'd protect him from this world along with it. Nothing and nobody will ever hurt my Paulie again. "I don't know where I was at the time, but I just got this overwhelming urge to run, so I did, and I ran for two whole days without so much as stopping. I just kept going and as I started to recognize my surroundings I knew it was you I was being lead to and I knew you were trouble. I could feel that you needed me so damn urgently.

"As I got closer with my paws like fire against the pavement I watched the light turn red and I could feel you in that car. You were so close, but then the truck horn started sounding. I saw it approaching, and, Ryan, I don't think I've ever run so fast in my life. My body desperately wanted to quit, but I'd have none of it. I had no idea what I was going to do once I got to you, it all just happened, there wasn't time to do anything else and with strength I swear I didn't have in me I slammed my body into the truck. That's all I remember."

My arms tightened around the wolf. "I'd call you and idiot, but I'd do the same for you." I told him.

Paul gasped as he shook his head against my skin. "No, don't say things like that." The wolf brought up his head and met my gaze while I let my hands fall to my lap. "You can live without me, I can't without you, and that is exactly why I was so far away. I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't live without my imprint. I contemplated coming back so many times and a bunch of times I almost did. I'd get as far as the treeline and I just couldn't make myself go any further.

"I could feel you inside the palace, almost like you were calling to me. I wanted so badly to answer, yet I thought I was being selfish if I did and every time I left swearing I'd never come back. Eventually I finally had enough. I couldn't live how I was anymore, so I travelled as far away as I could get. I wanted to die and finally give you peace."

I brought my hands up to cover my mouth as tears came rapidly with just the thought of the wolf dying. "Paul." I softly cried. "No. How could you? I was obviously in that stupid intersection because fate thought you were finally off your rocker. It wasn't me who needed you, it was you who needed me. The world hasn't given up on you, Paul, so don't you dare give up on yourself. I know I won't."

The wolf cocked his head so minutely I wasn't even sure it happened. He then raised his hands and moved mine from my mouth. Strangely, he eyed my lips as he brushed away my tears that I had shed for him. "Ryan, if it wasn't so impossible I'd love you in all the ways I know you want." He seemingly admitted. After cleaning more of my tears away he brushed through my hair with a few of his fingers. "Seeing you all grown up like this I know that in some alternate reality we were made for each other. I've always tended to think two males shouldn't be together and couldn't possibility love each other like a man and a woman, but if I saw you all grown like this before prison, or like I said, another reality, I know I would have done anything to have made you mine."

I found more tears flowed with with the aide of his words. "Paul..." I murmured.

"And, when you cried like this I would have held you like you were the world itself in my arms. I would have kissed away your tears, touched your cheeks and your skin, I would have brought my lips to yours, treated you like the prince you are, and I would have made love to you." The wolf gave a long sigh and as I swallowed the lump in my throat Paul's eyes fell from mine. "Please get out of my room now."

"But, Paul..."

"Please leave." He said more firmly this time with a disgusted little scowl on his face. I nodded and stood from the bed. I wasn't going to argue and upset him more than he seemed to upset himself. I went to the door, opened it and walked out. I turned around to close the door and I peered in at him one last time for the night. Yet, what happened next made me feel a little better.

I watched as his head turned toward his nightstand and as his eyes caught sight of the switched labels he startled. "Did you do that?" He queried while he kept his eyes glued to the nightstand.

"Yes." I admitted.

The corners of his lips turned upwards and he leaned forward; however, instead of putting the labels back in place he switched the two items. "He made them look perfect." The wolf whispered to himself.

"Paulie?" I said softly and quietly. The wolf looked up at me curiously. "Have good sleep, alright?" Paul nodded with my words and I gave him a little smile. "Do you want me to come to your room in the morning?"

Again he nodded. "Please."

With a sigh I rolled over on my bed and onto my stomach just to bury my face in my purple satiny pillow. I couldn't get that wolf out of my head no matter how hard I tried, and I had to admit that for some unknown reason my heart ached for him. Every bit of me wanted to go upstairs to be with Paul and I felt like that's what he wanted me to do, yet I couldn't be certain and the last thing I wanted to do was knock on his door at 1:36am and be completely wrong.

Suddenly the sound of my window sliding open had my mind in even more of a frenzy. I heard the clunk of James' boots against my hardwood floor as he climbed through my window. I stretched out an arm and flicked on my lamp at my bedside. Rolling back over I sat up on my bed and smiled at the boy as he kicked off his shoes and peeled off his shirt as he crossed my room.

My bedroom showed that I liked simplicity, or at least I thought so. Compared to my parents' room it was the size of a shoebox. Imagine yourself walking in through my bedroom door. To the left is my king sized bed, plain black wooden bed frame with a comfy cream colored leather couch at the end of it which faced my dresser that matched my bed with just your average run of the mill television on top of it with a DVD player connected to it. To the right of the dresser a walk in closet, to the left, my bathroom and straight ahead a large window that had two adjoining windows at its ends that opened.

I had a few others things like two side tables, a large book shelf close to my door that lacked books completely and instead held, Emily's, mine, and James' favorite movies, music, and pictures of all three of us galore from when we were little up until now. Admittedly, although I'm sure it's obvious in Emily's case, but I have a huge soft spot for the both of them. I had two big frames above my bed, on belonging to my wolf, the other my human.

On the left was the cutest abstract painting with a small hand print at the bottom of the right corner that James made for me when he was eight. On the right was terrible painting of two wolves sitting on a beach – if Emily hadn't told me that's what it was I never would have guessed. I believe she was around ten when she made that for me. I loved both of the paintings equally and they were just one of those things that I could never and would never part with.

James gave me a playful smirk as he climbed onto my bed and made his way toward me. "I'm so fucking hard for you, Ryan." He lustfully drawled. The human reached me and placed a hand on my cheek and another in my hair which is exactly when guilt took me by storm.

As he went to kiss me I turned my head away causing his lips to connect with my cheek. "Paul's back." I breathed. I know and understood that Paul and I were nothing but friends, but the thought of kissing James seemed wrong now - I felt like I'd be betraying the wolf in some way.

James' hands instantly dropped from me. "What?" He gasped. I met his eyes and even more guilt began to trouble me. The human looked absolutely devastated and heartbroken.

"It's a long story, but he came home." I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath as I decided the truth was the best. "I found out that I'm Paul's imprint."

James' shuffled backwards a bit in reaction. "But, he left you..." He murmured.

"Like I said, it's a long story."

He shook his head a little as if he couldn't quite comprehend what was going on. "What about us?" He queried.

"What about us? Along with Emily you're my best friend. That'll never change." I truthfully told him.

Again he shook his head. "That's not even what I want." He frustratedly muttered.

"Jamie..." I sighed. "You know it'd never work between us."

His bright blue eyes widened. "I don't know that!" He exclaimed. "I love you. I know I love you, and you're the only person I can picture spending my life with. I told you this, I've always been honest. Even when I was little I remember thinking you were the only _girl_ for me. When it comes to intimacy I swear I can get past the fact that we're both guys. I may be straight, but I fell in love with you anyway – that has to mean something."

My shoulders deflated and I crossed my legs under my covers. "You don't love me, you love the idea of me."

"No." He growled. "It's you that's in love with the idea of Paul. He left you. I'd never leave you. You're everything to me and I'd do anything for you, how can you not see that?"

My eyes fell from his as my insides turned into a sad mush. I had no words for him that could possibly make him feel better. "I'd do anything for you as well, James, but I just don't feel the same way about you. Believe me when I say I love you, because I do, just not in a romantic way."

"How could you know that? You won't even give me a chance, everything has always been about Paul." I was torn, 100% torn. I wanted so desperately to be everything Paul could ever need, yet I wanted James to be happy just as badly. I was stuck, it was two totally different things they were after, but both of them needed the whole of me. I didn't know if I could split myself down the middle and each give them half.

I knew I couldn't love James the way he wanted because the way he wanted was the way I loved Paul, yet Paul didn't love me the way I wanted him to. It was all so ridiculous. Although, James was right about one thing, I had never given him a chance. I know he deserved a chance and I do honestly know he'd be the perfect boyfriend, but then there's Paul. What would he think of this? He needed me more than James ever could, and I couldn't stand the thought of hurting him. But, if he didn't ever want me in the way James did, why did that mean I shouldn't have anyone?

Oh god, I was so confused. I'd be perfectly content with all Paul had to offer, even if it is just a close friendship, except now with James dangling the idea of so much more over my head I wanted that too. I wanted a closeness that only a partner could give you. I wanted kisses on the lips and hands on my skin. I wanted to pleasure and be pleasured... I wanted it all. Yet, Paul couldn't give me it all.

But, maybe I was just being greedy. I only wanted it all, I doubted I _needed_ it all. Plus, it just wasn't right to start something with James. I'd be leading him on. My heart was with Paul, it'd always be with Paul. I'd only end up hurting the human more if I attempted a relationship with him. It wouldn't be right or fair for him.

I scooted forward and placed a hand in James'. "I truly wish I could give you what you want, but I honestly can't."

His hand squeezed mine. "Just try. Please try." He pleaded, and I felt like the worst person on the planet.

"James, I can't force myself to want something I don't."

All hope from James' eyes dissipated. "So, that's it then? You don't want me?" He questioned with a crestfallen face.

"Not like that."

He dropped my hand, got off my bed and grabbed his shirt from the floor. He tugged it over his head and went to his boots next. "I should probably get going." He mumbled with his back to me as he chucked his shoes out the open window.

I shook my head. "Don't go. I do want you stay."

He turned around with a saddened angry look contorting his features. "And what, sleep in your bed with you? I've been doing that since the day Paul left, yet now after five years of me walking hours late at night just to get here, multiple times a week, the wolf comes back and suddenly you have the guts to tell me I don't stand a chance." With huff of breath James turned away from me and climbed out my window. "Sleep by your-fucking-self from now on, Ryan." I heard him hiss as he pulled on his boots.

I leaned out of my window and into the cool night air. "I'm so sorry." I sincerely apologized. "I didn't mean for this."

"Really, are you sure? You used me until it wasn't convenient anymore. The first time you ever kissed me was the first night you were without Paul. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that I'll never get to kiss you again now that he's back."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

With lightning speed I ran up the stairs in a pair of white fitted jeans, navy blue Converse, and a green V-neck t-shirt. Yeah, whatever, I like colors. Once at the top of the stairs I took off in a sprint in the direction of Paul's room. As I reached his door I saw that there was a piece of paper taped to it. I peeled it off and smiled as I read it. He'd gone to the kitchen to get something to eat, though told me to wait for him in his room.

I let myself in and just like the previous night I switched a few labels along with moving around a few items. I was a little worried I would upset him, but I kind of figured those labels needed to go. His mind would never be at ease if he was so focused on his things. However, I wasn't about to rip them all off. I just wanted the wolf to get used to his stuff moving around and it not mattering... if that was even possible, I wasn't sure, but I thought it was worth a try.

Afterwards I sat on his bed... then laid... on my side... with my nose against his pillow. I know, I know, it's so creepy to sniff his scent straight from his pillow, but I honestly couldn't help it, plus it made my heart all fluttery and happy.

I rolled over onto my back as I heard the click of the door opening and what I saw astonished me so much I lost my manners - I didn't even sit up to greet the wolf as he walked over with a clear glass plate of chopped fruit in hand. He sat on the edge of the bed and gave me a feigned smile of ignorance. He knew exactly what I was currently gawking at. Him.

I expected his skin to be nice this morning, which it was and flawless at that, yet I never expected _this_. He looked... perfect, and exactly how I remembered him as a pup. I could see his pecs and abs beneath the grey muscle shirt he wore and I could almost swear that his biceps were bigger than my two put together. He also donned a tan pair of cargo shorts that hung nicely below his knees – I've never had a thing for legs, but his calves, dear god, amazing and muscular. They looked strong and powerful, everything a wolf should be.

Abruptly I found myself thinking the sickest things I could. My parents having sex. Riley feeding from Eric. My sisters dirty diapers from when she was a baby. My mom naked! I was desperate, the sight of the wolf looking so damn good was making all sorts of things happen in my pants, none of which Paul would appreciate.

The wolf sat on the edge of the bed beside me and placed the fruit on his nightstand. Getting myself comfortable I lifted my left arm that was furthest from Paul and raised it above my head to prop myself up a bit by laying my head on my forearm. The wolf's gaze adverted from my face and I followed his eyes as they trailed down my body. I watched as his eyes paused on the few inches of exposed skin where my shirt had ridden up between my belt buckle and my navel.

With my right hand I went to push the material back down, yet as I wrapped my fingers around the hem of the green fabric Paul placed his hand on top of mine to stop any movement I might have made. With his beautiful brown eyes still firmly directed at my bare patch of skin his smooth copper hand very slowly slid from my hand and to my shirt overlaying my abdomen.

His four fingertips trailed along the thin fabric until he just about reached my skin that showed. He paused, his face a picture perfect image of a wolf deep in thought and particularly at war with himself. With a deep breath and a sigh Paul continued downward and had the tips of his fingers touch my tan skin.

At a snail's pace his hand flattened against me and his fingers glided their way up my shirt as he did so. His index finger reached my navel and I couldn't help but close my eyes and revel in the feel of Paul creating pleasurable sparks inside me with such a simple touch.

"Do you enjoy being touched like this?" Paul softly queried.

My eyes fluttered opened and his soulful ones met mine. "Only when you do it." Which was the honest to god truth. James hadn't even touched me this way. Yeah, he tried. No, I didn't let him. "Do you enjoy touching me like this?"

His throat bobbed as he swallowed. "I don't know." He whispered. Gently the wolf moved his hand upward, taking my shirt along with him to expose more of me and causing me to grit my teeth – not because I disliked it, but because I liked it a little too much.

"Paul." I breathed. "You need to stop."

As if my flesh were flames he ripped his hand away from me and tugged my shirt down along with it. "Sorry, that was really wrong of me."

I shook my head as I sat up and grabbed the pillow from behind me, placed it on my lap, and crossed my legs with my hands resting on top of it to hide quite the obvious bulge. "No, it wasn't wrong, it was too much right." I told him.

The wolf gave me a confused little look with a brow slightly quirked. Yet, as his eyes flicked to the pillow in my lap then back to me a clear visual of understanding donned his face. "Oh." Paul mumbled as he reached forward and grabbed the plate. He turned his body away from me as he began to munch on the food, I suspect in an effort to get the image of me with a stiff dick out of his mind.

"Should I be sorry for my body reacting in such a way?" I asked.

He gave me a sideways glance. "It happens to me from time to time and I feel utterly sick when it happens. It can't be helped." I would have actually preferred him to say yes over that answer.

"When was the last time it happened to you?" I wasn't particularly sure if I was way out of bounds with that question, but I was honestly curious and really wanted to know... not that it was any of my business. It was a terrible of me, but I did like the thought of it.

I watched the bob in his throat as he swallowed uncomfortably. "Why are you asking me this?" He questioned.

I shrugged. "Truthfully? Teenage curiosity more than anything."

With a sigh he placed the plate back on his nightstand and came up onto the bed and leaned his back against the wall. "Last night when I spoke about the things I'd have loved to do with you in another world." He answered.

I gave the wolf a soft and sad smile. "Are you able to, you know, relieve yourself?" I know my father said the wolf couldn't touch himself, but I doubted he knew everything there was when it came to Paul.

He sullenly shook his head no. "I think my body is sometimes in that other world whereas my mind is always in this one." He murmured in reply.

I was just about to say something when there was a knock at the door. "I'll get it." I told Paul with a grin as I hopped off the bed and tossed the pillow back to it. The second I pulled the door open a bright flash of color darted into the room only to stop once it reached the middle to reveal my sister.

"Stick 'em up pooches or silver bullets will be flying." Rachel hollered as she drew her toy gun from behind her and pointed it at me. Her brunette hair hung in two braids by each ear. I could tell by how well they were done that dad had done them for her – of course he wouldn't have his princess walking around looking nothing short of perfect. She wore a pretty long sleeved purple shirt. Not only did I love the color, but it suited her and made her pale skin look especially beautiful. She also wore a jean skirt with a dark pair of leggings, and as per usual she was barefoot. She says shoes make it tough to run fast.

I glanced to Paul and by the look on his face I could tell he had no clue who or _what_ he was looking at. "My little sister." I told him as I flicked my eyes back to Rachel. "You can go ahead and bite me, bedbug." I hissed in reply to her playful threat.

Rachel gave me a devilish grin. "Don't tempt me, flea bag." She brought her green eyed gaze to Paul and pointed the gun his way. "I don't like the looks of you."

I glanced to the wolf. "That means she thinks you're cute." I informed him and my sister smugly nodded in agreement.

"I see trouble on the horizon." Rachel stated.

"And that means she thinks you could be fun."

"You're a bit of a legend around these here parts, _Paul Lahote_ – if that even is your real name! Some say you're mysterious, others claim you to be brooding, while a certain few say you're handsome." She loudly cleared her throat and exaggeratedly nodded my way. "My daddy told me _all_ about you yesterday. He said and I quote 'Paul was the best fucking beta a goddamn wolf could ever ask for'." She went on to say with a little smirk as she tucked the gun behind her and into the waist of her skirt as she walked over to the bed. Once her hand was free she held it out to the wolf. Paul gave her a minute smile as he slid forward on the bed until his legs hung over the edge. He took her small hand in his large one and gave it a shake. "I'm Rachel Marie Black, the fairest of them all, but that's kind of obvious - will you be kissing my brother from now on?"

"Rachel." I growled. "No, he won't be kissing me."

She furrowed her small brows and glared over her shoulder in my direction. "I didn't ask you." She snapped. As she looked back to Paul her expression completely changed and she gave him cutesy smile. "So, will you be kissing him?" He only shook his head no in response. "Hm, I thought that's why you came home – dad said you imprinted on Ryan. Are you just visiting then?"

Paul looked over to me and what I saw next had my heart in a daze – he smiled, really smiled and not one of those fake ones I remember him sticking on his face for certain social situations. His smile was kind and genuine, yet the best part was that I knew it was for me. "No, I'll definitely be staying."

My sister gave him a wicked little grin. "Be certain that you'll die many deaths, mongrel." Paul quirked a brow and gave her a funny look.

"That means she's going to have fun playing with you." I told the wolf.

"I'm not very good at playing." He said to her.

Rachel shrugged. "Can't be any worse than my dad. It's like trying to play with a brick wall. Which reminds me, what's a rim job?" She queried causing both mine and Paul's eyes to widen and our jaws to drop.

"Rachel, where the heck did you hear that?" I asked her as I came to sit beside Paul on the bed – she was quick jump up onto my lap, sling an arm over my shoulder, and drape her legs over Paul's lap.

"I overheard daddy saying he wanted one from dad. Later I asked them what it meant, but they both agreed that a princess needn't know such things." She paused for a moment and looked to the wolf. "Oh, Paul, check this out." She leaned forward and pressed her hand to the wolf's bicep and in reaction he jumped back.

"What the fuck was that?" He gasped, and she laughed like a maniac.

"Isn't it cool?" She exclaimed. "I can send you whatever I want from my mind just by touching my hand to you."

"Show him something pretty." I requested.

My sister grinned and held out her hand to the wolf and he took it. "Close your eyes if you want to see better." She said, which he complied and did just that.

Slowly the corners of his lips turned upward. "What are you showing him?" I asked her.

"You."

* * *

_Point of View: Jacob_

Currently the sexiest man alive was draped over my body, his teeth in my neck, and his pale hips twisting in such a way that with every single little movement his cock, which was buried deep and snug inside me, massaged my prostate. I dug my hands into his silky hair and pressed his face more firmly into my neck. "Oh god, Ed, harder, bite me harder." I groaned through the pleasure, yet that groan quickly turned into a growl as a knock at the door was heard and my husband was tearing himself away from my body.

Edward threw my clothes at me while he tugged on his own. "Babe, come on, hurry, it's Paul at the door." He informed me. I sighed as I rolled over the side of my bed and yanked on my cutoffs with a pouted bottom lip. My husband gave me a beautiful smile and leaned over to nip that pouted lip then kiss it. "I love you." He whispered.

I returned his smile. "I love you more." I whispered back.

My vampire nodded. "You're probably right." He said with a smirk. With a little rumbling growl emanating from my throat I fervently attached my lips to his as I came to hold his face in my large russet hands. Even after ten years of marriage I still couldn't get enough of my imprint.

With him ruling at my side every day felt like a dream, granted some days were nightmares, but nonetheless he was there to guide me through it. I may be king and alpha of all alphas, but dare I say that the other, better king, wore the pants in the relationship. Sure, he'd let me snap at him and even yell, yet he'd always remain calm and never returned my anger, and once we were alone, never in front of others, he'd put me in my place – usually by methods that included my own sexual frustration.

He'd fuck me so hard and so deep or suck me so damn good, yet with my mind such an open book, especially when any form of sex was involved, he knew right when I was about to come and he used that to his full advantage. I'd not even be a second away from spilling my seed and he'd pull out or remove my dick from his moist, soft, and cool mouth. It never took me long to be a quivering mess in our sheets while I plead for forgiveness and begged that he make me come.

I think he got some sort of sick sexual gratification from it because he could torture me like that for hours and it never bothered him, in fact he seemed rather pleased with himself. Then again, my vampire was one hell of a kinky motherfucker - not that I am complaining one bit. Sex with my king and husband is far from boring, far from routine, and far from predictable – he's everything my needy cock could ever want.

With my lips firmly attached to his smooth and perfect ones I lead us down the platform that held our bed and toward the door. Once there I didn't for a moment want to let go of my husband... so I didn't. "Jake..." My vampire chuckled against my mouth. "Down boy."

"No." I moaned into his mouth as my hands slid down the back of his pants so I could grab onto his taut ass.

"I can hear you two in there, you know!" I heard Paul call through the door. "Get the fuck off him Jake and answer the goddamn door."

With a huff of breath I let go of my husband with a sad little frown and opened the door to let Paul in. I felt the breath leave me as I caught sight of the wolf. "Christ, Paul, you look fucking great! I didn't think you'd heal so fast. How are your stitches?" I praised and queried.

"I just saw Dr. Cullen and he removed them." He flicked his eyes to Edward, his brown eyes brightening as he did so. "Congratulations. I had no clue. I never left the forest."

"What are we congratulating Ed for?" I asked.

"Your guys' daughter, Rachel. I met her when I was with Ryan this morning. She's beautiful." Paul complimented as the corner of his mouth quirked. He gave Edward's upper arm a playful little shove as he continued on. "No thanks to you, though. Natalie has some amazing genes. How you two don't have two beasts for babies I'll never know." The wolf fucking _joked_. I gazed skeptically at Paul and wondered briefly if he was on crack.

Edward grinned at the wolf as he waved him in and walked toward the nook. I followed closely behind. Paul took up a spot at the far end of the couch and I sat at the other with my back against the arm rest and one leg up on the couch. Edward knew the drill and sat between my legs with his back pressed to my chest so I could wrap my arms around his waist and nuzzle my face against his neck.

Paul sighed ahead of me as I kissed my way up the back of my vampire's neck. "You two are just as disturbing as ever."

"And you're just as charming." Edward chuckled as he tucked his hands into mine that were at his front. "But, honestly, Paul, you are looking so good and I'm really happy to finally have you home. Jake and I went looking for you yesterday, we almost thought you left, but since Ryan was M.I.A. I figured you two were together somewhere."

The wolf nodded. "We were at the beach all day."

I smiled against my imprints skin. "How was it?" I asked.

"It was..." He paused for a moment and thought about it. "A good day." He finished.

My husband sucked in a surprised little breath. "You're kidding?" He breathed.

Paul shook his head and even smiled slightly. "I know I've hardly been home for even 48 hours, and I know I don't deserve his company, but Ryan, he's been perfect. Even more perfect than I ever remember him being. He made yesterday a good day."

"Do you love him?" I questioned.

The wolf's eyes snapped to mine. "What kind of question is that? Of course I do." He defensively remarked.

"And you know he loves you." I added.

"I'm aware."

"And you know his love transcends anything you will ever feel for him, right?"

The wolf's brows furrowed as a look of sadness and confusion washed over him. "Why the hell is everyone always so quick to tell me what I will and will not feel? For years you told me that I'd one day realize that Ryan is my mate, though now you're telling me I won't ever love him properly. Which one is it, Jake? I may as well ask you since you seem to think that you know me a hell of lot better than I know myself."

My arms tightened around Edward. "All I did was finally listen to you, Paul. You said you're not his mate, so you're not his mate. You'd know." I explained to him.

"Would I?" He breathed as he leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. "Because I feel like I know fucking nothing. When I look at Ryan I don't see a puppy anymore, instead he is like nothing I have ever seen before and I can't for the life of me figure out how a male is so damn gorgeous – both inside and out. Like I said I've hardly been here for 48 hours, yet every single time I lay my eyes on him there's this miniscule piece of me that yearns for him in all the ways I can never have him. I wish... I really fucking wish that my skin didn't crawl like a billion venomous bugs were burrowing into my flesh with just the thought of Ryan touching me in anyway other than platonic. I really fucking wish that bile from my stomach didn't rise to my mouth each time I imagine what it'd be like to kiss his lips, and I really, really fucking wish that every time my imprint looked at me like I was worth more than all brightest and most beautiful stars in the sky that I didn't feel like I was dirtying him with my presence and making him a little less pure with each one of my touches."

I nudged Edward's back and asked him to move with my thoughts. He quickly stood and I slid over to the wolf as my vampire sat back on the couch. I slung a bare arm over Paul's shoulder and he peeked up at me from his hands. I fucking hated that I caught sight of teary brown eyes. "Paul," I sighed as I pulled him close to me. "I can't make your skin stop crawling, or stop the bile from rising, but I can say you are _not_ dirty – not even remotely. You said it yourself, our pup looks at you like you are worth more than the brightest and most beautiful stars in the sky, and do you know why that is? It's because to him you_ are_ worth more than all those stars. If you were dirty, gross, disgusting or any other thing you can think of Ryan wouldn't feel that way. That problem isn't that you're dirty, it's that you _think_ you are."

The wolf shook his head in his hands. "I want all these shitty thoughts to go the fuck away." He quietly hissed.

Edward leaned into me and reached for one of Paul's hands. He took it in his own and rested it in my lap while giving the copper hand a tight squeeze. "Then think differently. When your skin starts to crawl imagine the way Ryan's hand feels in your own." My vampire gave the wolf a hint of smile. "How does his hand feel in yours, Paul?"

Paul sucked in a deep breath as he thought. "Comforting, warm, special – perfect even."

My vampire nodded with his smile brightening. "Exactly. So, when your skin crawls with the thought of our prince's hands on you in an uncomfortable way imagine that warm and comforting feeling. Imagine it feeling special. Imagine it feeling perfect just like it is in your hand."

"What about the bile?" The wolf questioned.

I grinned at the wolf. "Same thing." I said. "Does Ryan kiss you on the cheeks or the like?" Paul nodded. "How does it feel?"

"Different than holding my hand, it's way more intimate. It feels like he cares, that he wants to be close to me, and that he loves me."

I gripped the wolf's shoulder. "Now do me a favour, Paul, imagine your imprint kissing you and causing that exact feeling on your lips, yet tenfold." I instructed. I never thought I'd ever be telling a wolf to fantasize about my son; actually, if I knew a wolf was or ever had I'd brutally murder him. For some reason this particular wolf gets a free pass – god knows why.

With a gasp Paul abruptly sat up straight knocking my arm off of him as he pulled his hand away from Ed's. "Shit..." He breathed. The wolf's eyes flicked to mine and they looked incredibly full of curiosity. "Is that what it's like when you two kiss?"

"Every single time." I replied with a smile.

The look curiosity in his eyes changed to surprise. "I finally get it." He mumbled.

"Get what?" Ed queried.

"Why you two can't seem to keep your hands and mouths off each other."

* * *

_Okay, so I know I said this was going to be strictly from Ryan's point of view, but I feel like I can do Paul more justice if I used Jake and Ed every once and awhile. Is this alright with all of you?_


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Three whole months had gone by since Paul came home, and sitting at this dining table with every single person I love has got to be one of the best feelings in the world. Although, my mom and Sam were in the kitchen gathering the food and blood to bring out for everyone to eat and drink.

I had Paul to my right, Emily to my left, and James to her left. Things with James were better, though far from perfect, but I was sure we were headed in that direction. The day after our confrontation in my room I went to his flat, which he shared with three other guys, and groveled for his forgiveness. Yes, the prince groveled.

He was one of my best friends and I wasn't prepared to lose him over feelings neither one of us could control. I felt like the human forgave me, but it was normally dreadful to have James and Paul in the same room. For the first time since they reunited I agreed to have James over for dinner, provided that he was on his best behaviour.

About two months and three weeks ago I thought it was be a good idea for the two to get to know each other. I dumbly thought they could be good friends... boy was I ever wrong.

I sat on the edge of the fountain outside the palace feeling like nothing but a bundle of nerves. Paul looked over at me with hint of a smile in the sunlight and took my hand in his and brought it to his lap. "Ryan, who am I meeting that has you so anxious?" The wolf queried.

I looked over and met his soulful brown eyes with my pretty green ones. "You already know this person. Just do me favour and be nice to them, okay?"

Paul nodded his head. "I'll be a good boy for you." He assured me.

Not being able to help myself I pressed my lips to his smooth copper cheek then proceeded to lay my head on his shoulder with his hand still tightly gripped in mine. "You have no idea how much I love you, Paulie." I whispered.

He switched his hand in mine with his other so he could wrap an arm around my back and pull me even closer to him. "And I'm certain you haven't the faintest clue just how much I love you."

I smiled up at the wolf. "I think I do." I replied confidently.

Paul gave my side a little squeeze as he leaned down and tucked a soft kiss into my hair – something that never ceased to make my heart melt every single time. "Then you are well aware that you are absolutely everything to me."

"Oh Paul," I laughed. "If that's the case then I feel so sorry for you."

"I don't." He mumbled through my laughter.

I paused. "What?"

I watched the bob in his throat as he swallowed and his eyes turned serious as I gazed up at him. "I did wrong by you to imprint, but for me I think it's the only right thing I've ever done." He lifted his hand from mine and brought it up to tuck my hair behind my ear as his eyes fell to my lips. Gradually a thumb of his brushed across my bottom lip and never in my life had I wanted someone to kiss me more than I did in that moment. Yet, the only thing that happened was him slowly letting me go and turning away from me with a sullen expression on his face.

I wanted to scream. I honestly wanted to scream and just tell the damn wolf to kiss me already, but I knew, I just knew that would never happen no matter how much he hinted at having feelings beyond platonic.

I reached over to him and placed a hand to the back of his neck and let my fingers dip into his cropped hair. "Whatever is in your head right now let it go." I pressed a kiss to the black fabric covering his shoulder. "Think about that instead." I grabbed his hand with my spare and uncurled his fingers and kissed the palm of it. "Think about that too." I said with a smile as I took his other hand and kissed that palm as well. "And that." I then stood and pressed my hands to his cheeks and swept my warm lips across his forehead. "That too."

The corners of the wolf's lips began to turn upwards and I knew that was my cue to keep going. I leaned to the side and placed a kiss on his left cheek bone. Following that I leaned to the other side and did the same thing eliciting the most beautiful of chuckles from the wolf.

I grinned at the wolf and placed my hands close to his temples so I could brush my fingers through the sides of his hair. "You think I'm perfect, right?" He immediately nodded in response. "Well, I think _you're_ perfect when you're feeling content and smiling."

The wolf shook his head. "I'll never be perfect, not even close."

"Neither will I, Paulie, but I'll let you think I'm perfect if I can think you are."

Paul sighed sadly. "I don't understand how you could ever think of me like that."

My hands slipped to his cheeks and I cupped his handsome face. On the outside he really was perfect, yet on the inside he was so, so broken; however, I knew there was a perfect Paul lurking around in there somewhere. He just needed a little coaxing to come out.

I bent slightly, and gently kissed the tip of the wolf's nose, then just for good measure I gave him a second one on his forehead. "You don't need to understand, just know that I do."

Seconds later I was moving away from Paul as a junkie red Volkswagen Rabbit that I knew belonged to one of James' roommates pulled up the drive. James jumped out of the passenger side door as he hollered a goodbye over the loud rattling engine. He slammed the car door shut and I was actually worried it would fall off when he did so.

I told Paul to hold on as I walked toward James. With the humans head turned away from me he watched as the car turned around, mainly on the palace lawn, and speed off while sending dark clouds of toxic fumes into the air.

I made it to James just as he turned in my direction. He gave me a cocky, though sexy little grin. "My gorgeous prince, how I've missed you!" He greeted me as he scooped me up into his arms and off my feet in his signature bear hug.

"Jamie!" I laughed. "I need to breathe!"

The human placed me back on my feet and ran his hands through my hair to put it all back in place. "There." He smiled once finished. "You're as beautiful as ever." I heard footsteps approaching from behind and watched as James' happy demeanour rapidly changed into an unsettled one. "What's he doing here?" He lowly hissed.

I frowned and gazed over my shoulder to see Paul looking at us, and rather intently too as he came near. I flicked my eyes back to James. "Be nice." I whispered.

"Yeah, sure." The human quietly growled as he tugged me to him and slung an arm around my shoulders possessively as the wolf stopped in front of us. "Paul, you remember James, don't you?" I questioned as I smiled sweetly up at the human and wrapped an arm around his waist in an effort to show him that even with Paul around I could still be close with him. For a moment James tensed in my grip, yet quickly cooled it and gave the wolf a smug little smirk.

Paul very visibly scowled as his nose crinkled in a look of repulsion. "I didn't think you'd still be around." He said to James.

The human quirked a brow. "Not all of us abandon the people we claim to care about." He retorted.

"I didn't abandon, Ryan." Paul defensively growled.

"Oh? Then what would you call it?"

The wolf's brows furrowed it anger. "Mind your fucking business." He snarled. His heated eyes met mine. "Where's Emily? I thought you liked her."

"I do." I said. "She's my beta."

"Why aren't we meeting _her_? We should be with _her._" I couldn't help but notice how he emphasized the 'her'.

"Paul, she isn't my only friend. James is too." I told him, and he responded by shaking his head and giving me a look like James being my friend was entirely impossible.

James laughed as he caught onto the wolf's discomfort. "But I am his only friend with benefits." He said to taunt the wolf.

Embarrassed and a little pissed, I immediately let go of the human and shoved his hand off of me as a sudden look of fury washed over the wolf. Abruptly the wolf lunged forward and roughly latched onto the humans shirt. "Keep your sick, perverted, and vile hands off him. I fucking knew you were little creep, even as kid. I can practically smell the nasty on you." He snarled in his rage.

My eyes widened in surprise and I grabbed onto Paul's bicep "Let him go!" I tried to demand, but I was pretty much useless at that sort of thing.

The wolf's head whipped to the side to look at me as his fingers tightened around James' shirt. "He's no fucking good for you, Ryan. You're too pure and too beautiful to be around someone like him." What the hell does this 'pure' mean?

A rumbling chuckle emerged from James despite wolf's grasp on him. "If you think he's beautiful now you should see him when he has an orgasm – you're welcome to join sometime. You're not my type, but I think you're Ryan's. He has a thing for strong handsome men like ourselves." The horrified and enraged expression that donned the wolf's face had me strongly believing he was about to kill that human.

"Paul." I growled. "Let it go."

The wolf's brown eyes dug into mine with a sick diluted pain written all over them as he dropped his hands from James and took a few steps back. "Tell me you haven't let him." He whispered.

"Haven't let him what?" I queried.

"Fuck you in the ass." James crudely responded.

My green eyes widened and I fervently shook my head. "No, never, I haven't done anything like that with anyone." I assured him.

James took a step to the side and stood behind me so he could place his hands on my shoulders. "Not yet at least."

Paul's eyes squinted in his rage. "I don't care if the prince fucking begs for it. Touch him like that and we'll see how far I can make your guts spread through the forest." He threatened.

James let his hands fall down the front of my shoulders and crossed his arms along my chest to hold me close. "Well," He breathed. "That certainly sounds unpleasant."

"Paul wouldn't." I said.

"I would." The wolf snapped. "So don't fucking tempt me." He connected his eyes with mine and they immediately softened while his anger faded as he held my gaze. "Why don't we go for a walk or something. Maybe along the beach. Just you and me." I wanted to say yes, but I really couldn't ditch James. "Please." The wolf added. He sounded desperate and I so badly wanted to go to him. Then I thought about it, why the hell wasn't I?

I pushed James' arms off of me and took a few steps forward and pressed myself against the wolf – my cheek only reaching his collar bone. "Later." I told him. "We'll go for a walk just the two of us later."

I heard the human scoff from behind me. "I wouldn't if I were you. He probably just wants to get you alone so he can drag you off amongst the trees where he can fuck you against your will like the animal he is." I felt the breath leave me as James said those awful words. Paul gently and carefully moved me aside as he strode toward the human.

I turned around to watch what the wolf was about to do while knowing full well I couldn't stop him even if I tried, though I had no intention of trying in the first place. James had crossed the line, unknowingly of course, but that didn't seem to matter to me. Accusing Paul of being capable of raping me just didn't sit well in my mind, especially since I knew all about the hell the wolf had endured.

I couldn't see the look on Paul's face, but judging from the one on James' it was terrifying. "What are you doing?" The human questioned as he backed up. The wolf continued on forward and aggressively grabbed onto James' shirt to hold him still. "You can't do anything to me. I'm just a human!"

"Yeah, so brace yourself – this will fucking hurt." Paul angrily spat just as he raised a fist. I squeeze my eyes shut as I saw him take a swing. I heard a little yelp from James, yet not the sound of a fist colliding with someone's face. I peeled my eyes open to see Paul's fist right beside James' face. "You're not worth the stains your blood would make on my clothes." Paul hissed as he shoved James backward causing him to fall onto his back. As I watched the human take his tumble I felt guilty, which as of lately seems to be making a common appearance.

I couldn't believe that I would have let Paul hit him. I was the absolute worst. James was only acting this way because of me. He was jealous and I understood that. He wanted me and I wished with all my might that I could give him what he felt he needed, but it was fruitless and impossible.

In the end I rushed to James and pulled him to his feet and excessively apologized for not protecting him, and all the while Paul was giving me a look that made it seem like I was torturing the inner depths of his soul just by having my hands on the human. I felt bad for thinking it, but Paul needed to suck it up. The wolf and I were just friends; he didn't have the right to be upset with who I kept as company.

I think it was then and there that I swore I'd never put Paul before James or Emily. Emily was my wolf so she had to come before all others. But, then there was James and I knew in my heart that he had to come before Paul. That human, no matter what, has always been there for me. He was the one who cleaned up Paul's mess when he left and he knows exactly what that wolf did to me when he left.

James kissed, hugged, and held me while I cried. He spent years sneaking out at night just to come to me and help me feel less lonely while I slept. He did everything in his power to make me happy once more, even dragging me out of the palace to get fresh air and go places. Of course Emily was there just as much, but it was James who really mended my heart and got me to start enjoying life again.

I honestly was worried I used him like he thought I did. It certainly wasn't my intention, but I did kiss him the day Paul left just to feel warmth and affection. After that I didn't want the warmth and affection to go away so I never stopped kissing him. I couldn't imagine how he felt after me dropping him like a hot potato after five years of us being so close. I was certain devastation and heartbreak played a pretty big part when it came to his feelings.

After coming to such a realization I vowed to do everything within my power to make things right with James and for the most part things were going particularly good. He started sneaking over again every few nights – I say sneaking like my parents don't know. They have to know, actually, perhaps not my father, he'd rip James' esophagus right from his neck if he knew what me and that boy used to get up to in my room.

Even though my father was a total skank when he was my age, he's quite adamant that his puppy not be. I swear it's all because I have a girly face. He's treats me like I'm his teenage daughter and any possible boyfriends that come my way are all lepers with the black plague and a high sperm count. Paul seemingly the only exception... what a waste of an exception.

So, back to what I was saying. James started coming over a few nights a week once more. He never attempted to kiss me or start anything else, instead we'd just watch movies or slept all cuddled up to one another. It felt nice, really nice, but I couldn't help but miss the affection I once got from him.

I had been honest with Paul and told him that James often spent the night with me. Needless to say the wolf was not pleased, but he was dealing with it. Whether he was dealing with it well, I can't say.

In these three months Paul hadn't really progressed, although he hadn't regressed either, so I guess that's something. I caught him spazzing a few more times in his room about objects that weren't 'perfectly' placed. I often moved items and labels around, but he never said anything and when I'd enter his room every label I had stuck somewhere random had the correct object that corresponded with it, and every object I had moved had the label that accompanied it. He never got upset over those items, just the ones I hadn't yet touched.

In so many ways Paul was exhausting. He was constantly on this wild roller coaster of emotions and I never knew what the day would bring. He'd snap at me when he was in a crappy mood and often accuse me of thinking bad things about him when he was like that. It was tiring defending myself and how I felt about him. Truthfully, and I know this sounds bad, but some days I just couldn't handle him and I'd end up avoiding him. I made myself nauseous with guilt when I did this, yet I needed a break sometimes.

I could always tell when he was reliving his past – he wouldn't get dressed or out of bed. He'd cry for hours and ask himself the same questions over and over out loud. "Why?" He'd cry. "How could they do that?" He'd bawl, and then there was the worst one: "Did I deserve it?" He'd sob.

I spent many hours with him like this and nothing I ever did would even be enough for him to acknowledge my presence. Here comes the terrible part... these were the easiest days to avoid him. It's awful I know, but what was I supposed to do? Sit with him all damn day while he cried? I did that plenty of times and that did him no good. If he decided that for some reason he needed me while he felt like that then he had two perfectly capable legs to walk on to come and find me.

But, then there were his good days, and sometimes the good days didn't end up feeling so good for me. He was overly affectionate – always touching or hugging me, which would be wonderful if every time he did this I didn't yearn for so much more like I do. As exhausting as the wolf was that didn't make my love for him dissipate, if anything it grew stronger and I had to hate myself for it. It hurt so bad loving such an impossible person and sometimes I wished my feelings for him would disappear. I kept telling myself that getting half of Paul felt like everything, but truth be told I just felt lost in the emptiness that he brought

_Anyway_, super long story short, James and Paul needed to be kept separate since every time they ran into each other some sort of quarrel would start, yet tonight at dinner in front of plenty I was willing to give the two the benefit of the doubt. I prayed they didn't betray my trust.

My father also sat at the table on the other side of Paul while my dad and Rachel sat across from me. Beside my dad was my uncle Emmett with E.J., his adopted son, at his side with his mother Rosalie right next to him. To the left of the table and alongside my sister sat gramps and his wolf Seth.

Riley and Eric were seated at far right end of the table and were being their usual selves – acting gayer than gay people even though they were both straight as an arrow, or so they claimed. They were weird, like creepy weird. Eric, a wolf had dedicated himself as an alpha to only Riley... a vampire. Yeah, it's as stupid as it sounds, yet they seem to make it work. But, like I said, they're pretty much creepy as all hell. I think it's cute when my father cuddles with his wolves, which he does a lot, but these to two take it to a whole other level.

They'll give each other these loving and flirty looks, and it's disturbing because they actually do flirt along with teasing and complimenting each other. They even get all touchy like holding hands and playing with the others hair. I've also seen them pick out clothes for the other to wear, which is easy for them since they share a closet - probably both literally and metaphorically speaking. They also share a room, not that they need to, they just want to.

Eric moved in when Lauren dumped him for some human. I was flabbergasted when this happened. I didn't understand how that was even possible, and I probably asked the wolf hundreds of questions about it. The gist of it was that Lauren didn't love him romantically and she firmly expressed that what she wanted from his was friendship. He hardly fought for her, and all he said about that was that he loved her like no one else, would do anything for her, he'd be anything she ever wanted, and what she wanted was a best friend, so now he's her best friend.

Eric also mentioned it was one of the most freeing and liberating feelings when she ended things with him and confessed she loved another man. Apparently they were both miserable together, but for the sake of the imprint they stayed together. Eventually she just couldn't handle it anymore and even though Eric was drawn to her, loved her, and even needed her, he just couldn't _be_ with her. I thought this was insane and so did everybody else, except Paul who I specifically remember said he saw it coming.

They're both so happy, though. She's even married to the guy she sacked Eric for and has a one year old little girl who the wolf just so happens to be the godfather of. Stranger yet, he was part of the wedding ceremony. You're probably thinking he was something stupid like her maid of honour, but nope, he was the groom's best man. Those two men get along like peas and carrots... kind of gross, but it works – How you may ask? I'm not so sure.

Anyway, I'd say my uncle and him were screwing if it wasn't for the fact that once or twice a week Eric crashes in the sitting room for the night while Riley has some girl up there. Riley, ugh, he's one of those people that sleep around. It's odd and I find it doesn't fit with his personality. He has this fresh faced, cute thing going on, plus he babbles, like a lot. Sometimes you can have a normal conversation with him while other times it's basically just him having a conversation.

All that is beside the point, he's a slut, and I do believe he has my father beat. Which is a disgusting feat in and of its own. Like I said, once or twice a week he has a new girl in his room. It's been like that since I can remember. You do the math, I'm too afraid to.

However, even with all that said I once caught Riley feeding from Eric in the woods when I was out for a run... and in a linen closet, the bathroom off the kitchen, the wine cellar, and even in the pool. I fear all the things that pool has witnessed.

My dad plays dumb to all this of course, for some reason he really dislikes his little brother drinking werewolf and human blood. I figure to each their own, but for the sake of my sanity stop making me see it. It's weird catching my uncle getting that wolf off with his teeth jabbed into his neck. I've heard Eric refer to them as bromie's a few times, you know, like bro and homie put together. Yeah, I quickly corrected him and said they're not bromie's, but rather bromo's, bro + homo = bromo. Basically what this all boils down to is that I don't think Emily has a chance in hell to get with the leech she so desperately craves, well, at least not for more than one night.

Moving along now. On the left end of the table were all my dad's wolves. Well, all except one. Embry a long haired, soft looking, but tough wolf left the pack a long time ago. He had a daughter when he was in his later teens and a few weeks after her second birthday he told my father that he needed to leave the pack because he wanted to stop shifting so he could age. My father of course tried to talk him out of it, but he was quite adamant about not outliving his family. His girlfriend Victoria, later his wife, was certain she never wanted to be a vampire.

Only a few months later he was gone even though both my dad's insisted him and his family were welcome to stay. Embry came around a lot at first, but it eventually dwindled and I don't believe anybody has seen or heard from him in a few years. Although, last I heard he was living in the Yukon, married, happy, and with four kids in total. Three daughters and one son. The boy was the youngest and I felt him to be the luckiest. I'd have loved to have three older sisters.

My father's wolf Brady grew up to be a damn big wolf. He pretty much blew everybody's expectations. He's big and muscular, handsome, yet also has this youthful cuteness to him. He's the kind of wolf I envy. Strong, confident, vicious. Okay, Brady himself is hardly vicious, but when he fights he certainly is. This one time, I had to have only been thirteen or so, I was out with my father's pack in town and just some random alpha off the street called me a 'little faggot'.

I said to ignore him because I didn't want to cause a scene, Seth agreed, Quil didn't care either way, but Brady went berserk and with his bare hands he kicked the crap out of that alpha. I almost felt bad for the alpha, he got his ass handed to him by an omega in front of dozens – he was never going to live that one down.

I asked Brady why he did that. To which he responded: "You're my prince and my alpha's son, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you." I told my father about this when we got home. He immediately replaced Quil with Brady as his beta. I'd have felt a little bad, but Quil didn't seem to mind.

As for Quil, he sat with his wife Claire – a sweet little lady wolf who had a puppy in her arms. He's their firstborn and a son, so the wolf is absolutely overflowing with pride. During the first week Paul arrived home the first moment Quil got he put his puppy in Paul's arms to show him off. "It's not going to puke on me is it?" Paul had instantly questioned.

Quil shrugged and grinned. "It's a possibility."

Paul scowled. "Take it back." He grouched.

"He is not an it." I said as I carefully lifted the pup from his arms while we sat on my parents' blue couch. As I cradled him in my arms I smiled at his teensy features. The button nose, the little lips, and the curious dark eyes. I think I loved his head of thick black hair and his itty-bitty hands the most. "You're going to be a big strong wolf one day, won't you Liam? I bet you'll be huge and ferocious just like your daddy." I ridiculously cooed, but I was happy since it was rewarded with a big gummy smile.

"He likes you." Paul mused.

I shook my head. "Nah, he's just smart and knows who to suck up to around here." I nodded for the wolf to come a little closer and he did as instructed. I leaned over and placed the pup back in his arms. "He won't puke, because if he pukes, I won't give him cookies when his parents say no or help him sneak girls into the palace in the middle of the night." I playfully threatened the little guy.

"You know, Paul, the pup looks really good in your arms. Fatherhood suits you. Do you think you'll have your own one day?" Quil asked him.

The wolf's nose crinkled and his brows furrowed which turned his face into a look of revulsion. "Fuck no." He spat.

Quil cocked his head slightly. "But... Ryan has to have a son one day."

Paul gave him an annoyed, though slightly angry gaze. "What does that have to do with me?" Paul snapped.

Quil gently took his puppy from the temperamental wolf and held Liam protectively against his ribs. "I, uh, I just figured..."

"Figured what?" Paul hissed.

"I don't know, that you and Ryan had an Edward and Jacob kind of thing going on. I thought that's why you came back."

"Go fuck yourself, Quil." The wolf snarled while he stood and made his way out of the nook.

Okay, so in retrospect that didn't go so well. Actually, a lot of things didn't go so well when it came to Paul – I should learn to expect that.

And then there's Seth. I can remember people calling him a runt when I was just a young puppy – he proved them wrong I suppose. He wasn't huge by any means, but he was a heck of a lot bigger than me and a few inches taller than gramps. I guess in a way he's my grandpa as well since he's married to my gramps, but it's all kind of weird anyway. My grandpa isn't my biological grandfather, nor does he even look old, plus he's a vampire. It's even weirder when my father calls him dad, which he always does.

Anyway, Seth imprinted on gramps, or Jasper, years ago, when he was fourteen or something. They're the type of couple I admire. They're madly in love but don't rub your face in it. They do cutesy things like hold each others hands and kiss each others cheeks, unlike my parents who are always half a step away from screwing where they stand. Then again, maybe I'm just jealous of my parents' relationship, especially now with Paul here.

My father imprinted on dad and everything was perfect... well sort of. They at least knew they always wanted to be together, and I know when it comes to each other they're insatiable. I want that. I want to be so madly in love with someone who is so madly in love with me that we just can't bear to keep our hands off each other. I want a love that knows no bounds, that's unbreakable, and makes the other irresistible – I want everything my parents have. Yet, with Paul imprinted on me I feel like that's impossible.

I have a feeling he'll scare off any guy that would ever come my way, yet never want me for himself. I get that he's too fucking damaged to ever want me. I won't even sugar coat it. He fucking broken. He's fucking emotional. He's fucking troubled, and I seriously think he's fucking crazy. _Yet_, I fucking love him and there's not a chance in hell I'd ever abandon him, but there's only so much a teenage werewolf can do. He needs to help me out here. He needs to fucking try. He can't just sit and wallow in self-pity every single day. He needs to get it through his head that even though a ginormous part of him died in that prison he's still living and has been given a huge second chance.

I looked over to my right and gazed at the wolf sitting at the table next to me. He caught me staring and gave me a ghost of smile. I pressed a hand to his knee and he placed a hand over top of it. "I love you, Paulie." I whispered to him. In a perfect fucking world that would be enough.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

_Point of View: Edward_

It was a late and uneventful evening and Jake insisted on working late tonight in our office. He wanted me to stay with him to help out, whereas I did not, but I kindly sent Rachel in there to help... or get in his way. My wolf needn't work so late – he needed to learn that. So, in my husband's absence I brought Paul to my room to play a _riveting_ game of go fish. We both sat cross legged facing each other on my sofa in the nook. "Do you have an ace?" The wolf queried.

"Go fish." I sighed, and he fished. In his mind I saw that he had an eight. I needed an eight. "Do you have an eight?"

Paul scowled and slammed the cards down on the couch. "Stop fucking cheating! That's the fifth goddamn card in a row!" He bellowed.

I smiled at the handsome wolf. "Then stop thinking about your cards." I told him.

Paul shot an angry glare my way. "I can't not think about them when I'm looking right fucking at them!"

"Okay, okay." I laughed. "How about war? I can't cheat at that."

The wolf shook his head. "Fuck these cards! You probably rigged them anyway!" He heatedly exclaimed. For a moment I thought he was serious but then a playful little smirk appeared on his face. "No more cards." He grunted as he leaned over the side of the couch to grab his bottle of beer off the floor and press it to his lips. I momentarily wondered how alcohol would affect Paul's fragile psyche. Presumably not good. I told Jacob the mini fridge in the nook was a bad idea, yet he and his wolves out voted me on that one.

"What do you want to do?" I asked the wolf. He only shrugged as he took another swig of his drink. I had the strongest urge to ask him how he's been feeling lately since I hadn't a clue. He's way too good at not thinking those things around me. I hated it, however I figured it was a bad idea to bring it up myself. I didn't want him getting all teary and depressed. "So..."

"So..." The wolf said. "What does good anal sex feel like?" My eyes widened in shock from his question and I'm certain my jaw dropped slightly. "I mean, it is good right? It must be since you and Jake are kind of like rabbits and all that." I leaned to my left slightly to count how many bottles of beer Paul had drunk. I frowned. He was only on his second. So, needless to say I couldn't blame the question on him being intoxicated.

I sat back up and met his eyes. "Um, yes, it's definitely good. I don't really know how to describe it though."

"Does it hurt?" He asked just before he took a sip of his drink.

I shook my head. "Never." I answered, and the wolf gave me an incredulous look with a quirked eyebrow.

"Strange, it always hurt me." He deadpanned. Oh, awkward. "You fuck Jake too, don't you?"

"Uh, yeah, I fuck him too." He gave me a disgusted little look with my reply.

"Does it bleed when you do?"

"Paul, sex with someone you love is _nothing_ compared to what you experienced. There's no pain when you make love with someone, you don't get hurt, and it's only pleasure. For me there is no better physical feeling than when Jacob's body makes me climax." I tried to explain to him, although I couldn't help but notice the look of utter revulsion on his face and even in his thoughts.

He put the bottle to his lips and chugged the rest of its contents, he then placed the empty bottle to the floor. "I'm guessing you guys don't, you know, use condoms or whatever." He said.

"There's no need."

Paul gave me a disturbed little scowl. "So, when you, like, finish... you come... in him, or him in you if he's, err, topping?" He uncomfortably questioned. I nodded my head yes in reply. His scowl slowly vanished. "Can it feel nice?"

I nodded once more. "It feels really nice."

The wolf swallowed and licked his rosy lips as he gazed at me intently. "What do you prefer?" He asked in a ragged whisper.

"Filling him." With wide eyes Paul shot out of his seat like a rocket and with a loud clank he knocked over an empty bottle into the other with his right foot.

"I gotta fucking go." He ground out through a clenched jaw as he bolted out of the nook.

I jumped from my seat and hurried after him. "Paul!" I called, he ignored me. I ran forward and just as he was about to grab the bedroom door to open it I latched onto his wrist and turned him around. "At least tell me what's wrong before you leave." I desperately flitted through his mind, though found nothing but intense blackness and impenetrable brick walls. It was only when I let go of his arm and took a step back did I get the whole picture. Inside his silky red basketball shorts was a large bulge.

The wolf caught me looking between his legs and his face flushed. "My body liked what you had to say, my mind did not." He informed me. I pressed a hand to his right bicep to try and guide him away from the door so we could talk about it, but he roughly shoved my hand off of him. "Don't fucking touch me!" He defensively hissed as his furious brown eyes met mine.

I held my two hands up where he could see them. "Paul, come on, it's me. You don't need to worry about anything with me here." I said in an effort to calm him.

"I'm not worried you stupid fucking leech!" He viciously snapped. "I want you to stop looking at me like you goddamn pity me! I can see it in your eyes, it's written all over your face, and for fuck's sake you practically reek of it." He angrily turned to his right, yanked open the door, and headed out into the hallway.

I followed by stepping into the door frame. "Please stay, what else have you go to do?" I pleaded and questioned.

"I'm going for a run, or am I not allowed out without chaperone?" He bitterly growled.

I frowned sadly. "Don't be like this."

"Be like what? Pissed because you know how truly pathetic I am?"

"Paul," I said as I shook my head. "I'd never think you're pathetic."

The wolf scoffed as he let out a huff of breath. "You're a fucking liar. Want to know how I know you're lying?" I shrugged, it was about all I could do. "I am fucking pathetic! It's pathetic that I can't touch my own dick and because of it I have to sit like a fucking woman when I piss. It's pathetic that I wear swim trunks in the shower just so I don't have to look at myself for any length of time. It's pathetic that almost every morning I wake up with damp sheets because I have wet dreams like a little fucking boy, and the only time I didn't is when I slept in _your _bed with _your_ husband when everybody thought _you_ were dead. Yet, if all that doesn't make me pathetic enough, here's the kicker – I hate myself for all of it."

"Paul..." I sighed as I moved into the hallway.

"Don't!" He hollered. "Don't fucking come near me! Let me finish!"

"Okay, okay." I said as I stepped back into the door frame.

The wolf shook his head as he pressed the heel of his palms to his eyes. "Do you think I like being this way? Do you think I believe it's normal to be like this?" He angrily questioned as he dropped his hands from his face. "Because I despise being this way and I know I'm not normal. But, it's these fucking thoughts!" He shouted as he roughly tapped the side of his head. "They never leave me the hell alone! And, you know what? I don't know what's worse, wishing for a life I can't have or every fucking day reliving the life that I did."

I heard a throat clear as someone walked down the hallway. I peeked out of the door to my right to see Emmett coming. I was a little pissed with myself that I was trying so hard to get into Paul's head that I wasn't paying attention to anybody else – I should have been making sure we had privacy. Again Emmett cleared his throat as he neared the wolf. "I can't say I've ever talked to you much or know you very well, but I know exactly what you need." The vampire told the wolf confidently. Paul furrowed his brows and cocked his head slightly – he was listening and the vampire halted at his side. "Okay, so what you need to do is _get the fuck over yourself!_ Like, seriously, goddamn, touch your fucking cock, mutt! I swear to Christ in the sky that it won't bite... it'll drool, but that just means you're doing it right."

"Emmett," I hissed. "This is none of your business."

The vampire whipped his head to the side to glare at me with his golden eyes – a trait he got from drinking the blood of animals, which is something I never thought he'd do, yet as soon as little Emmett McCarty Junior came around that's all it was for him and his wife. "Do me a favour, your grace, shut the fuck up. I know you care about snoopy and all that, but you're only enabling him." Emmett turned his attention back to Paul. "You know what I'd say to you if you were my son? That, yes, what happened to you was one of the most shitty things imaginable. Men fucked you against your will in a prison you shouldn't have been in in the first place, but it happened, it really fucking happened and there is _nothing_ you can do about it now. The memories will never disappear nor will the pain, but you've got two options here, kid: Let that pain destroy you or use that pain to make you the strongest goddamn wolf there is." The vampire grinned at the wolf and gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder. "I'd then give my son a hug, a big fat kiss, and let him know just how loved he is, but I think we'll skip that part, except, do know you are loved and you've got a palace full of people rooting for you. However, I think I should let it be known that those wet dreams mean your dick is literally crying for your attention. He misses you and I can guarantee if you treat him just right he'll reward you greatly."

Paul's nose crinkled in abhorrence. "That's disgusting." He grumbled.

The vampire fervently shook his head. "No, what's disgusting is letting that awesome cock of yours go to waste. You should be treating that thing like gold, because, honestly, it's the finest treasure you'll ever own, but don't be greedy, I promise you'll be happiest if you share."

* * *

_Point of View: Ryan_

Winter had finally come and with it the bitter cold – something, for some reason, I enjoyed – and in the dark of night while I sprinted through the forest to stalk my prey in nothing but a pair slim fitting cutoffs. I was quick, I was quiet, and I didn't so much as snap a twig while my breath fogged the air and my heart beat like drum in my chest.

I took a sharp turn to the left and shoved my way through the thick brush as I followed the thundering sound of angry waves crashing against rock below the cliffs. I knew the moment I popped out into open on the grassy ground of the top of the cliffs I'd run right into exactly what I was looking for.

Branches scratched my skin while prickles poked and the chilly air nipped. I don't know why, but I revelled in it. There was something about the feel of the natural world against my skin that I adored. Although, I did no revelling the one time I encountered poison ivy as a 13-year-old pup. It felt like the rage of a thousand suns made of pure hell fire was sadistically devouring me - I never ran naked after that again. I profusely thanked the holiest of whatever is holy that I could heal fast. Had I been a mere human I do believe chucking myself off a cliff and onto the jagged rocks below to end my tragic existence would have been the only antidote for the evil itch and pain I felt on my unmentionables. Anyway, I adored nature a little less after that day.

I leapt from the brush and trees onto the open cliffs to tackle my prey that had gone out for a midnight jog. My bare shoulder slammed into his equally bare chest and he let out a surprised little yelp. The force of my blow sent him flailing backward into the frosty grass which caused me to laugh out loud as my body tumbled on top of him.

I scrambled to straddle his waist and pin his muscular arms above his head by his wrists. "Paul Lahote, you better say mercy or you'll be fed to the wolves... well, wolf." I threatened the beautiful man beneath me with a playful and perhaps a slightly flirty smirk on my face. Had I been a normal sized wolf I doubted very much that the wolf would take kindly to me straddling his waist with his arms pinned above him, but I'm not a normal sized wolf and I figured he knew he could toss me around like a rag doll if he so chose.

The light of the moon illuminated his handsome copper face, yet I couldn't help but notice he wore a very serious expression as his eyes looked nowhere near my own... or my face for that matter. I followed his line of sight, catching the bob in his throat as I did so, only to end up with my eyes on my nude chest just like his was.

My smirk turned into a funny little grin. "Paulie, my eyes are up here." I teasingly informed him.

His serious demeanour vanished as a slight look of amusement took its place. He smiled faintly while his bright brown eyes flicked to my green ones. "What?" He queried absolutely oblivious to my previous statement.

"Nothing." I happily chuckled. "What were you looking at?"

His cheeks quite visibly tinted pink. "Nothing."

I quirked a slender brow. "Is that so? For some reason I thought I caught you checking out my chest. Was I wrong?" I was so not wrong.

He nodded. "Very wrong. I was just thinking." He lied.

I grinned down at possibly the most gorgeous wolf in the world and probably the next. "What were you thinking about then, my chest?" I playfully questioned. With a low rumbling growl Paul flipped us over and as he did so he pulled his wrists from my grasp and latched onto my own to press them into the grass above me. The only difference with him pinning me compared to me pinning him was the fact that because I was straddling him before he was now laying between my legs... shirtless, and wearing only a red pair of basketball shorts and sneakers.

I'd say this was heaven, but it's not – it's a sick hellish torture instead. My poor penis didn't stand a chance, not with Paul more than half naked between my legs and pressed against my crotch. I could literally feel his body heat soaking into my dick – I loathed and loved it at the very same time. My manhood was so confused, but he decided to pop up and say hello anyway.

"I'm so sorry." I vehemently apologized with my arms still pinned above my head. I seriously loved being pinned down by him, and it honestly took every little bit of willpower inside me to stop myself from gyrating against the wolf. My horny, hormonal teenage body wanted to hump so damn badly. Friction, I yearned for friction!

Paul gave me knowing look, but not a bothered look. "Sorry for what?" He asked. Was he really going to play dumb? I was positive he knew I knew he knew that he could feel my rock hard manly bits against him.

"You know what I'm sorry for." I whispered, my warm breath colouring the air white.

The wolf nodded and offered me a kind little smile as he removed a hand from my wrist. He brought it to my undoubtedly unruly hair from my run and brushed his fingers through it. "Don't be sorry." He said as he removed his other hand from my wrist. "It's not even half as terrifying as it should be. You're my angel, you don't scare me." He rolled off of me and onto his back, though he held out his arm for me. Smiling I scooted close to him and laid on my side with my body pressed against his and my head on his chest with his arm wrapped snugly around me.

I rested an arm on his stomach and let a few fingers greedily touch his abs, although I attempted to profusely refuse to even consider the notion of accidentally grinding against his hip as I 'shuffled to get more comfortable'. It was a lovely thought, or at least it was until images of him in prison and all those men using his body came to my mind. After that I just felt nauseous and guilty for thinking such selfish things. I felt if I did such a thing I'd be no better than his attackers. What would really be the difference between them and me? We'd both be using his body for sexual pleasure even though we knew he'd hate it. God, I had to hate myself sometimes.

"You're not cold are you?" Paul questioned. _No_, I really, really had to hate myself sometimes. Here I was thinking about my knob and there Paul was thinking about me.

"No." I murmured. "Paulie?" I desperately needed something happy and completely non-sexual to talk about.

"Yeah?"

Because I'm a selfish and awful wolf I nuzzled my cheek against his chest and sighed. It felt perfect, except for the fact that I was still using him for my own self-gratification. "Christmas is in a few weeks, is there anything in particular that you want?" I queried.

"For James to not be there." He unhappily grumbled. I frowned at this. James of course would be there. "What do you want?"

Easy. "For you to be friends with James, or a kiss from you under the mistletoe... on the lips." Either one would make my life, but I didn't particularly see either one ever happening.

"How about I just surprise you?" Yeah, that's what I thought.

"Fine." I replied in a tone that obviously displayed my displeasure. "I suppose I'll do the same."

The arm that was wrapped around me came up so Paul could brush his fingers through my hair. Do I even need to say that I loved it? At this point I think it's just a given. "Ryan, you don't have to get me anything. I'll be perfectly happy just spending the day with you."

I scoffed at something so stupid. "Paulie, that would be the worst present ever! I'll come up with something better than that." I assured him.

"Good luck, I'll have you know I'm quite fond of you."

I moved my hand from his abs to his side to hug him tightly. "Is that so?" I murmured happily, although I still felt tortured. He's fond of me sure, just not as fond as I'd like him to be. My heart knows no worse torture than loving someone that can't possibly love me back. They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I want to meet the guy who said that just so I can punch him in the kidney. I don't feel strong, I feel desperate and weak.

Paul carefully rolled on his side toward me. My head slid from his chest and laid comfortably on his upper arm where I remained to hold him close. He brought his hand from my hair and brushed the back of his knuckles along the side of my cheek. "It's so." He whispered, and then suddenly my heart completely died or exploded in my chest, I couldn't tell, I was in too much shock. At a miniscule pace he started to lean his face toward mine.

The side of the wolf's nose brushed against mine and our eyes closed as his hand gently cupped my cheek. He paused, I swallowed, and I could feel the heat of his lips so close to mine. His heart took off in his chest and it beat so violently I could feel it against my own chest. I moved forward urging him to do the same and making it so our lips were only but a hairs breadth away from meeting. I prayed so hard he'd kiss me that tears stung my closed eyes as my hand gripped his side. I wanted this, I needed this, I needed him, and I was dying for it. He had to know that all my lips were meant for was loving him. Didn't he understand that?

He closed the distance, yet in nowhere near the way I wanted. The corners of ours lips just barely grazed as he turned his head, moved his hand to my neck, and pressed his cheek to mine. My teeth gritted and my tears leaked through my closed eye lids. I hated the stupid wolf. I hated how he made me feel. I hated how he teased me, and I hated how he made such a wonderful feeling like love feel so awful.

A tear dripped from my face and splashed against his arm causing him to jerk back to look at my face. I opened my eyes to see his concerned expression. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" He questioned.

I plastered on a small feigned smile for the wolf's benefit. "I'm not crying, it just feels good to have you close." I lied.

"You sure? I can sense that you feel a little distressed." A little? Can you sense how badly I want to shove you off the fucking cliff and how I can't fucking tell if I love or hate you more?

I shook my head and let that fake smile grow as I nuzzled my face close to him. "I'm just worried about how you're feeling." I lied again.

Paul gave me a warm and beautiful smile. "I'm okay." He replied, which he followed with a loving, yet horribly platonic kiss to the middle of my forehead. Yeah, he's okay – thank the fucking god's – too bad it's at my expense.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Christmas was here and I had to admit things had never been better. Lies. They were terrible, but I wasn't about to complain. More lies, you're about to get an ear full... eye full?

I'm sure it'll surprise you to know that most of my problems revolve around one specific canine. I know Paul doesn't mean to be a bother, yet he is. He hugs me a little too long, holds me a little too intimately, and talks to me a little too sweetly. If I didn't know better I'd think he's my boyfriend, minus all the extra goodies that come along with one. I doubt it needs to be said, but I've had no sexy times with the wolf. He wouldn't even kiss me under the mistletoe no matter how many times we 'accidentally' found ourselves under one. I know it won't happen, but a boy can dream, can't he? It's pathetic, yet my heart hurts a little bit more with each rejection. I don't know why I keep doing it to myself. Although, I've heard miracles do happen.

I've also caught him looking at me, which is fine, you know, if he wasn't looking at me like he wonders what my lips feel like, my skin tastes like, and what it would do to him if our bodies were completely bare and pressed against one another. Sometimes I just want to throw myself at him when I catch him doing this, then other times I just want to throw him out a window. I've never faltered with the former, yet I have come very close to the latter. I want to feel flattered that he looks at me like this, but I don't. Instead it just makes me resent him.

Anyway, James kissed me under mistletoe like a whole two seconds ago and right in front of Paul for that matter. I honestly don't think he would have done it if it wasn't for the wolf standing right there, and I honestly don't think I would have kissed him back if the wolf wasn't watching. I seriously think if we were alone I would have shoved him off, but an evil, malicious part of me wanted Paul to witness exactly what he was missing.

The fury I felt radiating off the wolf right now was nearly enough to knock me off my feet and the enraged stare he was giving James intimidated not only the human, but me as well. I swear Paul was mere seconds away from shooting laser beams from his eyes that's how angry he was. Yet, the wolf stunned me, he inhaled a deep breath of air and when he exhaled his anger blew away with his breath. "Eggnog, I feel like eggnog, would either of you like a glass?" He _kindly _asked us. I felt my heart skip a beat and I'm pretty sure I heard James' do the same.

James gazed at him skeptically. "If I say yes does mine come with a lethal dose of poison?" He queried.

The wolf smirked at the human. "Yes." He drawled.

James grinned, and I felt lost. "In that case two quarters eggnog, one quarter milk, and the last bit poison. Make it something that will get the job done quick – the thought of suffering irks me."

"Sorry, I only have the slow and painful kind, but would you like a nice sprinkling of nutmeg on top to go with it?" Paul jested? I don't even know. I was confused.

The human nodded. "Sounds good to me."

Paul flicked his eyes to mine. "Want some?" He queried.

I quirked a slim brow. "Poison, eggnog, or nutmeg?" I questioned.

The wolf smiled warmly at me. "Just eggnog and nutmeg if you want it."

"Both, please." I replied, and with that the wolf was off. I was certain I was either out of mind my and hallucinating or Paul had finally lost it. I turned my gaze to James. "What the hell was that?"

The human gave me a cute and toothy grin. "Baby, it seems nobody can resist my charm!"

I frowned and crossed my arms. "You drugged him didn't you?" I hissed in accusation.

"What?" He exclaimed. "I can be a dick, but not a felonious dick!"

"You drugged me once!" I retorted.

James rolled his beautiful ocean blue eyes. "That was your own damn fault. I specifically told you _not_ to eat those cookies and that they were for me and my roommates."

I gave him a pouty frown. "They smelt so good, though. I couldn't resist." I explained.

James shrugged and offered up a flirtatious smile. "Whatever, you're so cute stoned – all horny and kissy and junk." He teased.

I shook my head with a scoff. "Was not."

"Were too." He said as he lowered his voice. "I've never seen you come so hard."

"Pfft, what character you have – taking advantage of a pretty little inebriated prince."

"Ha!" James laughed. "Me taking advantage of you? It was a challenge just to keep you off me and on the other side of my bed while you jerked off."

"Yeah." I mused with a smile. "That was a really good orgasm now that I think about it."

"Ahem!" Paul loudly cleared his throat startling both James and I. I blushed and smiled faintly at the wolf. He ignored me and glared icy daggers at the human as he handed him and I our drinks.

"Where's yours?" I asked the wolf.

"I don't have three fucking hands." He grouched while he left his seemingly judgemental eyes on James.

The human frowned as he looked in his cup. "Your forgot the nutmeg." He whined.

Paul shook his head and crookedly smiled. "No I didn't."

James gazed up at him. "Well, it's not there." He complained.

"Yeah," Paul said rather arrogantly. "That's the point."

The human sighed. "I'd have gotten _you_ nutmeg."

Paul eyed him incredulously. "Sure, if it was part of my last meal before you sent me off to the vet and had me put down." He said with a cocky little smirk.

James gave him the same smirk back. "I'd prefer to put you in a no kill shelter, but I don't think anybody would want you. I wouldn't feel right having you take up a spot that a more deserving dog could use."

Paul's eyes narrowed in on the human as he crossed his arms. I took a sip of my eggnog and watched this unfold with great interest. "You're so thoughtful, it genuinely astonishes me just how thoughtful you are." He sarcastically remarked.

"Yeah, well, it's all the hardships I've endured that have shaped me into the person I am today. I'm practically little orphan Annie, you see. I can sing too."

"Yeah, you're an orphan, yet you say nobody wants me. Even your wolfish brother Eric ditched you to move into the palace first chance he got." The wolf shrugged and sighed. "Maybe your invite got lost in the mail."

Like a switch had been flicked the air around James turned cold along with his stare. "He didn't fucking ditch me!" He venomously snapped. "He put me in a foster home years before that. He wanted me to have stability."

"That, or he didn't want to have to deal with you. Must feel pretty shitty getting left behind for a bloodsucking prince."

Everything about the human deflated and his face fell despondent. "What do you want me to say, huh? Something witty? Well, I'll have you know it is fucking shitty."

Paul gave him a funny disbelieving look. "Why? You got the better prince out of the deal. The other one's alright, but he's a whore and doesn't shut up. I think we can both agree that Ryan's kind of wonderful." I nodded along with a stupid goofy smile as I took yet another sip of my eggnog and licked my top lip to get the nutmeg off. "Anyway, family is overrated. I had a real one once... trust me, the trouble they'll cause you just isn't worth it. I think it's better just to gather bits and pieces to build your own, and it seems to me like you're off to a pretty good start, plus if your brother actually got rid of you just so he wouldn't have the responsibly, then he didn't deserve you in the first place and you're probably better off without him. But, that's just what I think, and who the fuck cares what I think?"

James squinted his eyes at the wolf as he sniffed his drink. "It worries me that you're being nice, it makes me think there really is poison in my eggnog."

Paul smirked once again and dear lord I couldn't get enough of it. If that look was a lotion I'd rub it all over my body. Is that weird? Probably. "Only one way to find out." He said in this sexy, although slightly sadistic tone.

James again sniffed the drink and slower than a snail's pace pressed the glass to his lips. He paused and eyed the wolf with distrust. "I don't know about this." He mumbled into the cup.

"Oh, just give it to me!" I breathily hissed as I snatched the cup from the human.

I went to put it to my lips, yet the wolf darted forward with panic etching his features and shoved my hand away from my mouth causing the liquid to slosh over the rim and onto my hand. "Don't drink that!" He fretfully bellowed. My green eyes widened, James' jaw dropped and we both gasped in utter disbelief. The wolf abruptly smiled and chuckled in amusement to himself as he took the cup from me. "I'm totally kidding, you know." He told us, which was followed by him taking a few swigs of the eggnog.

"Jesus." James breathed as he pressed a hand over his chest where his heart rapidly beat. "I think that took about ten years off my life."

"Oh come on!" Paul laughed... he actually laughed. "Don't tell me you guys seriously believed that. I've got issues, but murdering teenage boys isn't one of them."

I wiped off my sticky hand on my pant leg. "Ever thought about going into acting?" I grumbled unimpressed as I tried to quell my thumping heart.

The wolf shook his head. "No, but I was Peter Pan in a school play once – green leotards and all."

James furrowed his brows as he eyed the wolf up and down. "I can't for the life of me picture you wearing those." He mumbled as he continued to gawk at the wolf.

"Yeah." Paul said with a smile and a bit of chortle. "I'd like it to stay that way."

* * *

I wasn't certain if it was all this 'Christmas Spirit' that had Paul in a seemingly genuine good mood, but I felt concerned because not only was he in a good mood, he was also being pleasant... to everyone. The wolf is only somewhat pleasant, some of the time, so his behaviour came off as extremely odd, and I know I wasn't the only one who noticed. My dad and even my father were sending him strange glances every now and again while we had opened presents. If Paul noticed this he didn't pay any mind to it.

Currently I was snuggled up to my father on a comfy couch that feels like your sitting on a little piece of heaven. He had his arm tightly around me, though was leaning slightly to the right so he was against my dad and brushing kisses along his neck with his spare hand tightly holding his.

In the middle of the room in front of a large window was quite the extravagant Christmas tree. My mom and Rachel, who now looked and acted to be about nine, were sitting by it. Rachel was showing mom everything she'd gotten and explaining in great detail what exactly everything was.

Rosalie and Claire slaved away in the kitchen with Jasper's help while all their men sat on a sectional off in the corner of the spacious room. With his feet up on an ottoman, Emmett was comfortably relaxing at one end with his arm slung lazily around his 8-year-old puppy, E.J.. For some reason it always felt like a special privilege watching those two. My uncle is so in love with his boy even though he's vampire, his son's a purebred wolf, and they have no genetic ties whatsoever. Honestly, I don't even think either of them notice how different they are.

I guess I could say the same about me and my dad, yet as much as I know he loves me I feel like he's kind of obligated to and I can't help but wonder if he'd prefer if I never existed so it would be just him, Rachel, and my father.

Along the corner of the sectional sat four wolves and one itty-bitty puppy all huddled together. Quil being the ever trusting wolf that he is had just placed his pup in Paul's arms. This time the wolf held Liam with a lot more care as he curiously gazed down at the baby. "Yeah, okay, whatever, I guess if you look at him close enough he is kind of precious." A huge grin spread across Quil's face from Paul's compliment.

"I know." Quil sighed. "I look at him and I can't believe it. I just can't fathom how _I_ made something so perfect."

Paul gave the wolf a sideways glance with a playful smile. "Me neither." He teased. "Then again, give it a year or two and I'm certain your little bundle of perfection will be hell on two little legs."

Brady chuckled from the other side of Paul as he gently played with the pup's wiggling bare toes. "Hell will have never looked so cute." He mused.

Seth leaned in at Brady's side to view the puppy up close. "I want my own so badly." He mumbled, and Quil perked at his words.

"Then why don't you?" He joyfully queried.

Seth shrugged. "Jasper thinks I'm _way _too young to be a dad." He answered with a saddened frown.

Paul brought his attention to Seth. "He's twenty-five times your age, even when you're in your triple digits he'll still be picturing you as that 14-year-old puppy who imprinted on him."

Brady quirked a brow and grinned mischievously at Paul. "Well, I pray that you weren't picturing our prince as the five-year-old pup _you_ imprinted on when I caught you checking out his ass as he went up the stairs in the foyer the other night." My eyes widened and every head in the room turned to look at the wolf.

Feeling the pressure he handed Quil's baby back to him which he followed up by glaring at Brady heatedly. "I told you that's just where my line of sight was as he walked up the stairs." He lowly growled.

"How convenient." Seth tittered. "Just like the time your lips fell right onto mine."

My jaw dropped. "You made out with my grandpa?" I exclaimed in question.

Quil guffawed as he cuddled his pup close. "And your father!"

"Jesus Christ, Quil!" My father hissed as I pushed myself off of him and moved to the other side of the couch where James sat.

I don't know why, but my heart ached and jealousy scratched at my soul at the mere thought of Paul kissing two others... especially my own father. "So, it's just me then..." I breathed mainly to myself.

Paul shook his head as he stood from his seat. "Ryan, don't think like that." He told me as he neared.

I got off the couch to stand as well. Facing the wolf I had to tilt my head slightly upwards to meet his eyes. "Well, something is clearly very wrong with me. I guess I can understand Seth, but my father, really?" I said as waved my hand in my father's direction. "What are you, some sort of masochist? Is that why you wallow in your pain day after day?"

"What are you even talking about?"

"How can you not be a masochist if you kissed my own father?" I felt the tears beginning to warm my eyes and I just had to hate myself for it. "He beat you for years, and you've kissed him! But, then there's me, someone who actually loves you, who wants you, and who'd never lay a hand on you even to save my own life, yet I'm not good enough! Tell me, I need to know, what is it about me that everybody hates so goddamn much? Whenever I go out people have the nerve to call me, someone who's royalty, a faggot and a mutt. They yell and call me a queer. They shout that I'm a fairy princess. They scream that I'm ugly and that I can't possibly be a wolf, let alone an alpha. Would any of this have ever happened to my father? Of course not!" I bellowed as I pressed my fingers to my closed eyes to hold back my tears.

With a huff of breath I dropped my hands and continued even though pitiful tears fell. "Though, tell me, Paul, because I'm really perplexed, how could anybody, in their right mind or not, ever like that fucking king?" I questioned lowly as I turned my body on an angle and pointed to my father.

My dad bolted from his seat and came to me. "Okay, that's enough, Ryan. We get that your upset, but you don't need to take it out on your father." He said as he pressed a cool hand to my shoulder which I immediately shoved off.

I turned my attention to my dad. "What about you, huh? It's not like you're any better! When I was just a small puppy I watched as father threw Paul into the side of our limo. I was in that bathroom with you two when you pulled that glass and metal from the wolf's back. Later while I was outside the washroom and you were in there with father, I heard him backhand you and I saw what he did to your face. Yet, even with all that said you still wanted him, and you not only wanted him, but you were willing to fight and even die for him so he could be king." I shook my head with a teary sigh. "You're nothing but a fool." I looked around the room at his wolves, Paul, my mom, and Emmett. "You're all fucking fools."

My father stood from the couch and as he did so he pressed a hand to my shoulder. "Ryan, calm down." He said softly.

I whipped my body around to look at him as tears streamed my face. "Calm down, you're kidding right? You're a goddamn joke, this whole palace is a goddamn joke! Everybody prances around here pretending like everything is all hunky-dory. Nobody says anything, but we all know exactly how you used to be." I venomously hissed at him.

Again my father put a hand on me. "Puppy, lets not do this now." He quietly stated.

I roughly smacked his hand off of me. "I don't know who has more of a right to hate you, Paul or me. You ruined his life, yet you fucking tortured me for the first five fucking years of my life. You made me feel like I was _nothing. _You made me feel like I was undeserving of your love, and I grew up thinking there was something so horribly wrong with me that even my own daddy didn't want me because of it." I vehemently spat through repressed sobs. My mother stood from beside the Christmas tree and pushed past my dad's and wrapped her slender arms around me. It felt nice holding her, comforting, and she smelt sweet like vanilla. She was a small woman, a perfect little woman, and compared to her I seemed tall – the top of her head only reached the tip of my nose.

As tears slipped from my cheeks and into my mother's hair I gazed at my father. "Do you remember the first time you ever came to my door and you asked if I wanted to have breakfast with you?" I queried. He nodded a silent yes in reply. "Do remember how I called myself a mutt and you asked where I heard that word?" Again he nodded. "The first memory I have of someone calling me a mutt is _you_, but of course I didn't tell you that. You called me it as you ripped up a letter aunt Rose helped me write for you, yet you didn't even read it. I started to cry as the bits of paper hit the floor because it felt like you ripped up my heart and threw it away. Can you remember what you said next?" I asked him.

My father pressed his hand over his brow as he bit his bottom lip to stop it from trembling. My dad tried to comfort him, but he gently pushed him away. "I asked you if you were a baby." He answered in a quavering voice.

I hugged my mother tighter. "I said no."

My father's eyes fell from mine. "I then told you to stop fucking crying and that only babies cry." He responded quietly.

Abruptly I let go of my mother and glared at my father as hot tears stung my eyes. "At least have the decency to look at me!" I shouted. My father looked back to me and I was certain his eyes were just as wet as mine. "After that you pulled me by my wrist and out of your room to place me in the middle of the hall. What did you say to me while you did that?"

He shook his head and dropped his hand as he did so. "Ryan, this doesn't do either of us any good..."

I wiped at my face to dry it as best I could. "What did you say?" I growled.

Pitiful tears spilled over my father's red rimmed eyes. I honestly wanted to slap them right off his face. "I said that I needed you to understand that I didn't want you coming to my room, I didn't want you making me things, and I especially didn't want you fucking near me."

"You asked if I understood. I nodded, but that wasn't good enough for you."

My father's throat bobbed while he swallowed and brushed his tears away with the back of his sleeve. "I screamed in your face to answer me."

Not being able to hold back anymore I brought my hands up to my face and cried like the little baby I was. Oddly enough four warm arms wrapped their way around me. Paul's around my shoulders and James' my waist. It gave me the strength to lower my hands and find two hands belonging to two different people to hold onto and squeeze. "I was so scared, but I was trying so hard to be a good boy, yet when you yelled in my face with such rage on your face I had never felt such fear. I didn't even know I had to go, yet right in front of you and auntie I wet my pants because of how terrified of you I was."

My father's face was a mess of pain, remorse, and tears. "Ryan, you could never know how sorry I am." He softly cried.

I shook my head trying with all my might to disbelieve his words, but in the end, like it so often does, guilt trapped me and I felt like I had just made a huge mistake. Here I was making my father cry on Christmas in front of almost all his family. I wasn't daft, I really did know my father loved me... _now_. Suddenly my heart started to ache with the pain I caused my father and I felt utterly terrible. I felt like the worst person ever, especially saying all that stuff in front of my baby sister who knows... _knew _nothing of my father's bad past. Not only was I the worst son, but I was a bad brother too, and on top of that I snapped at Paul, so I'm the worst whatever I am to him as well. Yet, that wasn't even it, I'd snapped at my dad and called him a fool – I called everybody a fool! Oh god...

My dad pressed past my mom and father, and as he placed his hands to my tear stained cheeks James and Paul let go of me while taking a step back. "Don't beat yourself up about it." He whispered to me as he used his thumbs to wipe away my tears. "We're all fools, the lot of us. That's what love does to you – makes you foolish, and we all love your father dearly."

"I'm sorry." I mumbled as my dad kept sweeping away my tears.

He leaned forward to press a few kisses to my cheeks and forehead making me feel ridiculously special and loved. "You know what, you were out of line, but don't be sorry. You're angry, and you have every right in the world to be."

"Ryan," My father breathed. "The letter that I tore up, what did it say?"

My dad let go of me and I looked to my father. "My letter said that I loved you, missed you, and that I really needed you. It also said that I was sad without you, that I cried a lot, and that I was lonely." I muttered.

Wasting no time my father came forward and tugged me into his strong arms. "Puppy, I was such a bad wolf back then and I know I may never deserve you, but I'm always going to love you with all I've fucking got." He said as he held me tight and protectively. There was truly no arms I felt safer in than the ones of my father's, and I couldn't help but sigh and nuzzle my face into his chest. My father really did suck once upon a time, yet I had to remind myself not to ruin the future I had with him because I was mad about the past.

"I'll love you with all I've got too, daddy." I whispered against him. Startling both me and my father, Rachel slammed into our sides and wrapped her arms around us the best she could.

She snuggled against us and we both dropped an arm to hug her back. "I'll love you both with all I've got as well." She mumbled into our shirts as she stuck out a hand and pulled dad toward her. "Dad too."

Dad embraced us, though held out a hand to mom. She blushed, beautifully of course. She came to my free right side to hug both my father and I. "I certainly love my men and my one little lady." She murmured as she rested her head on my shoulder.

"We love you more." I told her.

"But I love mom more than all of you put together." Rachel happily stated.

I let go of my mother to reach out an arm and tug James in behind me. "And of course I love my human." I playfully cooed.

James pressed his back to my front. "I'd like it if you loved me a little bit more."

"James," My dad said under his breath. "Around me, pure thoughts of my son only." James chuckled at this quietly as he pulled back a bit from me and looked to Paul.

The wolf quirked a brow. "What?"

The human motioned for him to come over. "Want some love?" He giddily questioned.

Paul smirked. "Not from you." He deadpanned. James laughed, leaned over, and grabbed the wolf by the front of his shirt.

The human dragged him close as he scooted over to share me – they each equally got half of my back. "Okay, I can guarantee I'll never love you, but I think I might just be able to put up with you."

"Awe, you're such sweet little human." Paul condescendingly remarked as he slung an arm around James. "But, I've been putting up with you since this morning. A few weeks ago I asked Ryan what he wanted for Christmas, he said for us to be friends." He paused and James gave him funny look. "Yeah, imagine my abhorrence. Anyway, if my imprint wants it and if it's in my power to give it, then he shall receive."

"Awe, you're such well trained little puppy dog" The human said in an effort to mock the wolf while he lifted a hand and patted him on the top of the head. "But, I don't think I want to be your friend."

Paul chuckled. "Oh, yes you do."

"Really, why's that?" James queried.

The wolf gave James' shoulder a squeeze. "Remember that thing I said about your guts and the forest?" The human nodded. "Yeah, that's what's going to happen to you if you won't be my friend."

"Paul, we can't build a relationship based purely on manipulation. We need trust and respect."

"How about you be my friend or go fuck yourself and watch your step when you're walking alone in the dark." The wolf playfully threatened... I think.

I heard Emmett snigger in the background. "I know of a sexually repressed doggy who _desperately_ needs to go shine his gold as well. Hint hint... _Paul._" Um, I'm not sure I got that reference.

"Emmett, shut up!" My dad loudly growled. Seems he understood it, however.

James gazed at Paul. "Sexually repressed, huh? It's because you're such an ugly dog isn't it? It must be intimidating touching someone so wickedly good looking like myself." The human said with smug little grin.

Paul returned the same smug little grin. "Actually, it's funny you should mention that since I happened to be extremely self-conscious_ until_ I looked at you."

"Jesus, would you two be quiet already!" My father hissed. "Now, where are my wolves? I love them too much to leave them out of this awkward and overheated situation." Seth, Brady, and Quil came behind my father and pressed themselves close, although Quil was carefully minding his son who he held in his arms.

"Emmett!" My dad once again growled. "Get over here. You know we love you too."

"Awe shucks," The vampire said as he stood from his seat. He came over with E.J. who hugged onto my sister. As for Emmett, like cling wrap he stuck to my dad, much to his horror. "You know I love you guys all equally, well, except for my boy. I'll always love him a hell of lot more than this freak show."

"Dad, Rose, and Claire get your asses in here! We're having a moment and we need you all to be part of it! Riley and Eric that means you too!" My father hollered causing the group to wince and my ears to ring.

Moments later the first three appeared and laughed at us. Jokes on them since they joined anyway. Claire hung onto Quil, gramps to Seth, and Rose to Emmett. Only seconds passed before Eric and Riley entered looking rather dishevelled. The leech prince was licking his lips while his eyes swirled a bright ruby red. I was a little disturbed that Eric had droopy eyelids and a content smile stuck on his face.

Riley squeezed in by my dad, while Eric by James. However, behind Paul's back the duo's hands were connected. The only thing that would make this perfect would be if Emily and Sam were here – too bad Sam always insisted on spending the holidays with his parents.

Paul cleared his throat and it got my attention. I gazed over my shoulder at the wolf and gave him a sheepish apologetic smile. His eyes were firmly on my lips. I wasn't stupid, I knew exactly what he was thinking about... my lips, duh. And, maybe, just maybe kissing me?

In a matter of milliseconds my confidence somehow burst through the roof. I leaned a few inches back and I ever so quickly gave the wolf a peck of kiss on the lips causing my heart to have an immediate orgasm. I know, not possible, right? Well, it is. My heart burst in bliss, while my veins pumped little heart shaped blood cells throughout my body. I believed I had reached seventh heaven in my own shell... and then I inhaled deeply and waited for the wolf to tear me down a peg and make me feel like complete and utter crap.

Paul took his arm off of James who surprisingly watched us with silly smile on his lips. He brought a hand up and ran his knuckles down my cheek. "Sometimes I can't quite comprehend what I'm seeing when I look at you. You're such an angel, perfect and beautiful in every way." He murmured beside my ear, although I was quite certain everybody could hear, you know, considering everybody was staring.

"But...?" I whispered.

Paul gave me a minute, though handsome smile as his fingers brushed into my hair. "There's no but. You're my angel. Period."

James tapped the wolf's shoulder to grab his attention. "Paul, I suggest you kiss your imprint, or I will." He happily and shamelessly threatened.

The wolf's eyes flicked to mine and I expected him to be upset or at the very least defensive."Ignore the human." I said with a small smile. Paul stayed calm and what came next had me dreading the likely outcome. His hand came up to cup my cheek while his other one remained in my hair. I let go of the people I was holding onto and squeezed myself around to face the wolf completely. Our eyes stayed locked while I felt the crowd around us disperse and gradually the room fell empty leaving just Paul and I.

"I'm so fucked up, Ryan." He seemingly confessed.

I nodded in his grasp. "I know."

"We're not mates."

I nodded again. "You've said that."

Paul's hands fell from my face and hair. "I can't kiss you." Yeah, I kind of saw that one coming. "I'm sorry." He said, although there was a slight whimper to it.

I frowned sadly. "What for?" I asked.

"Doing all this to you. Touching you, holding you, and looking at you in all the ways I shouldn't."

"So, if we're not mates, why do you do all that?" I questioned.

The wolf shrugged and his eyes fell away from mine. "When you were just a small pup I was so damn certain of my feelings. I just _knew_ nothing would ever happen between us. I _knew_ I was meant to love and protect you from afar, yet now that I'm home and you're here in front of me I'm having a hard time doing that. You're beauty is incomparable to anything in this world, but it's not just the way you look – it's knowing you, hearing you, touching you, and feeling your presence, all those things draw me in and the more I get of it the less I want to let you go."

"Paul..." I said, feeling so damn helpless. "What exactly is it that you want from me?"

The wolf brought his eyes up to mine. "Do you want me to say the right thing, or the selfish thing?"

"The right thing."

The wolf inhaled a deep breath of air then slowly exhaled, yet I couldn't help but notice the tears prickling the corners of his eyes as he did so. "You need to have a life beyond me. I want you to find love, get married one day, and have lots of puppies. I want you to be so happy that I don't even cross your mind. I don't want you to ever have to worry about me, or burden yourself with my problems, but-"

"There's always a but." I murmured

"_But,_" He continued, his tears growing. "If all this is to happen I don't want to shift anymore."

"What?" I gasped, my eyes beginning to match his. "Paul, no."

His face scrunched slightly as he tried to not to cry. "Ryan, I can't do this." He whimpered as tears escaped his soulful brown eyes. "I don't want to live hundreds of years attached to you, especially if you have a family of your own. It'll become painful for me because we'll inevitably drift apart. I don't want to make myself sick again not having you. I'd rather just grow old and go."

"Paulie." I cried. "You can't leave me."

The wolf used his hands to cover his eyes and tears spilled from underneath them. "Please don't make me live like that." He quietly begged.

I went to the wolf and moved his hands away from his face so I could clean the tears myself. "Tell me the selfish answer." I fervently demanded. He shook his head no in my hands. "Your prince didn't ask you to tell him, he ordered it."

Again he shook his head. "I shouldn't." He breathed as I swept away his tears.

"You have to."

His face scrunched completely and it reddened as more tears spilt. "Help me!" He sobbed into my hands.

"Oh god, Paul, I've been trying, but I don't know how to." I excruciatingly confessed.

The wolf lifted both of his hands and clenched them around each of mine that held his face. He nuzzled against them as he brought one of my palms to his lips to kiss it softly while thick tears continued escape his eyes and sobs shook his chest. "I don't want you to ever stop trying until you fix me, and I never want you to leave me. I don't want to ever stop looking at you, touching you, and holding you close, and I want it to always be just us two."

"Paul!" I cried in exclamation as I pulled my hands away from him and girly tears grazed my cheeks. "I can't fix you! And, why would you ever want to torture me by looking at me like you want me, touching me like you can't keep your hands off me, and holding me like you truly love me when we both know all you can offer is some shitty friendship!" I angrily yelled.

"What?" He breathed as his wet eyes flicked between my two. "If you felt this way why would you kiss me?"

"Because I can't help myself!" I bellowed.

"Neither can I..."

I heatedly shook my head and took a few steps back. "Well, no more, it needs to stop! I thought I could do this, I thought I could be your perfect angel and make everything better for you, but I'm _not_ an angel, I'm just some 16-year-old kid that can't take this anymore. I don't want to say it, yet it's true, you need to know, you're making me miserable and it'll never be just us two." I coldly explained.

"But-"

"Shh," I interrupted. "I pick the right answer."

* * *

_**Do you hate me yet?**_


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

When I exited the sitting room my parents and James were waiting for me. The human appeared very empathetic while my dads wrapped their arms around me and told me I had done the right thing. Yeah, I knew I had done the right thing, that wasn't the problem – the problem was it made me feel so terrible and guilty. As soon as I left the wolf I wanted to turn back around and tell him I changed my mind, that I'm sorry I hurt his feelings, and that I'll sacrifice any possible romantic relationship with someone just to keep him happy. Yet, in the end I tore myself from my parents, clung onto James and took us to my room.

I sprawled face first onto my bed and brought the human with me. "James," I mumbled into my pillow. "Why did you tell him to kiss me?"

James pressed a gentle hand to my back. "I thought that's what the both of you wanted. You said you two weren't together, but you never told me why or if you would be. So, I just assumed you guys were taking it slow. He never struck me as gay and I thought he was kind of like me, so things would take time. I didn't know he didn't want you like that at all – in my mind that seems kind of impossible." He explained.

I rolled onto my side to look into James' ocean blue eyes. "I thought you loved me, though."

The human smiled softly at me. "I do and with all my heart. I want my prince to be happy and if that's not with me, well, I best get used to it then. I saw the way you and Paul looked at each other today and I guess that kind of struck a chord in me. I liked seeing you smile and if he made you smile I wasn't about to get in the way." James' eyes brightened and he placed a creamy colored hand to my cheek while running the tips of his fingers along my hairline. "I'd totally kick his ass for being such a heartbreaker if it were possible, but I think we both know he could one-punch my head right off my neck. So, just know, I'm mentally whooping his butt right as I speak. I gave him a good shiner and I think I broke his nose."

"God, Jamie," I breathed as I scooted closer to hold him against me and tangle my legs with his. "I don't know what I was thinking when I fell for that wolf."

The human chuckled as he lifted my head up by my chin with his finger. "I've been wondering that since the first day I met you." He said as he leaned in and gently pressed his lips to the tip of my nose for a precious little kiss. "But, I'm curious, what was he talking about when he said he wanted you to fix him? I don't get it, what's wrong with him?"

"Paul was..." My eyes fell downcast as I sighed. "He wouldn't want me to tell you."

"That's nice, but do _you_ want to tell me?" He queried.

I nodded my head yes. "I can't, though. I haven't even breathed a word of it to Emily."

"Ah, so it's that bad, huh?"

"Worse."

"Okay," James said as he let go of me to sit up and lean against my headboard. He gave me a very serious expression and he crossed his arms in a serious manner. I chuckled at this as I turned horizontally on my bed so I could lay my head in the humans lap. "Can I put my two cents in?" He asked as he righted my hair and played with the tips of it. I told him yes and he continued on. "Well, _before_ I put my two cents in, would you be mad if I told you I went to the local archives a few days ago and searched the old newspapers because I, you know, just randomly mentioned Paul's first and last name to one of my older roommates who then told me the wolf is quite infamous. Basically he said Paul murdered his mother when he was in his younger teens. So, yeah, I was holy fucking all the way to the archives to look that shit up."

I frowned at the human. "What did you read?" I unhappily asked him.

James shrugged as he ran a few fingers down my cheek. "A lot, it was a high profile case. Paul comes from big money, like, big, big money." He told me.

"Seriously? I had no clue."

The human nodded as he placed a hand over mine that I had rested on my chest. "They made a huge example of him all because his mother was dying and he paid a vampire to bite her. I read an interview with his dad and he said that he should have seen the 'signs' that his pup was a psychopath, especially since he had always been a delinquent - you know, like skipping school, smoking pot, and hanging out with a 'bad' crowd. That's pretty _outrageous_ behaviour for a teenage boy apparently.

"Anyway, everything I read was ridiculous, but the world was a completely different place back then. Rich folk owned slaves and vampires had no rights, yet I still couldn't believe that it was actually Mr. Lahote that killed his wife when he saw she was a vamp. I was also quite stunned to read that he was considered some sort of hero because of it. I couldn't help but look that wolf up to see where he was now. Turns out he went missing a few weeks after your dad, his grace, became king. Witnesses saw him being dragged from his home against his will by royal guards. That was the last anybody ever heard of that guy. What a shame, huh?"

I gazed up at James with saddened sigh. "What else do you know?" I questioned.

The human shrugged. "Plenty of little details, but I don't suppose any of that matters. Basically, what I'm trying to say, well, ask, is if the wolf's problems have something to do with his prison stay? I mean, back then, before the prison reform, I can only imagine what was done to Paul as a puppy in there."

I sat up and turned around to face James so I could better look at him. "Please don't say anything to anyone, even Emily. There are some things people just don't need to know." I didn't answer his question. I didn't think I needed too – he knew.

The human nodded and gave me a faint, though friendly smile. "You have my word, my prince." He promised, and I leaned forward to stick my hand in his and pull it to my lap to show my appreciation. "So, are you ready for my two cents now?" He queried and I told him yes. "Okay, well, I think you're kind of stupid."

My jaw dropped and I gave James a funny disbelieving expression. "What?" I laughed.

He gave my hand a squeeze and he chuckled along with my laughter. "Okay, so I totally get why you said what you said to the wolf – Oh, and if it wasn't obvious enough I was eavesdropping the entire time, so yeah, I know what's up. Anyway, I get it, but, Ryan, you've spent eleven years loving this man. I think it would be such a waste to give up now. I've seen how Paul looks at you when you have your back turned. Do you know how he looks at you?"

"Like I'm a mistake?"

James rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Don't be a daft fool, it's most unbecoming for such a gorgeous prince. I like my beauties pretty and smart, I hate looking at a nice face and knowing there's not a brain behind it, but I know you and you've got a brain, you just need to learn how to use it."

I furrowed my brows and scowled at the human. "Don't call me pretty. I'm not pretty." I growled. Only Paul can call me pretty.

James laughed. "No, not when you make that face you aren't!"

With a huff of breath I shook my head. "Just tell me how the damn wolf looks at me." I irritably demanded.

James gave me a toothy grin. "Exactly like I do, except with more passion and care than I could ever offer." He told me.

I quirked a brow. "You do a horrible job of selling yourself, you know."

"It's not me I'm trying to sell you here. But, yeah, _back _to James' words of wisdom. When I heard him say you two weren't mates that really got me thinking. What wolf who's imprinted would ever think that? Even my brother believed him and Lauren were mates and they were the worst possible match. Back in middle school I did a huge project on imprinting – it was awesome, your dads came in and let me use them as examples since my brother sucks. I was the coolest kid in school after that, people were even saying they were jealous of me. Filled me with pride, it did. I couldn't believe that people were jealous of me, some orphan human!

"Anywho, the project... everything I read said that when a wolf imprints he automatically believes his imprint is his mate – it's just like a built in thing or whatever. I also read lots about imprints not wanting the wolf that way and as it turns out my brother's situation isn't all that uncommon. In cases like his the wolf will be whatever his imprint wants him to be, _but_ like I said its _never_ been the other way around."

I gazed at James very unimpressed. "So, what are you saying, that Paul is not only fucked up beyond recognition, but he's also deficient as well?"

Again James rolled his ocean blue eyes. "Would you quit being such a doom and gloom, that's not what I meant at all. If Paul is saying he wants you to fix him that means he considers himself broken, and broken tends to mean something isn't in one piece anymore, which for him makes perfect sense. Like I said, I can't imagine what people did to him in that prison, but I have a pretty good idea, and I'm willing to bet that in there he had many parts of him ripped off, lost, or destroyed." He seemingly tried to explain.

I sighed in annoyance and pushed his hand away from me. "That is all very obvious." I huffed.

He quirked a brow and looked at me like I was some dumb dog. "So, then you know those ripped off pieces can be put back on, those lost pieces can be found, and everything destroyed can be repaired?"

"You don't know him, James. It's impossible – he's impossible." I firmly stated.

He shook his head . "No it's not. It just looks impossible because you're focused on the big picture. Imagine being put in a room with the twelve grades of schoolwork you need to do. Every assignment and project, every text, every book, pencil, and paper right in front of you. Now, imagine someone coming in and telling you to fill all those notebooks with notes, read all those novels, study all those texts, use every pencil, use every piece of paper, and finish every assignment and project. You know what you'd be thinking?

"That it's impossible." I grumbled.

James fervently nodded his head and smiled. "Yeah, exactly, but it's not even close to being impossible. Looking at Paul and seeing everything wrong with him is overwhelming, but if you work at it... if you can get him to carefully put those pieces back on, if you find the lost parts one at time, and if you can teach him how to rebuild what was destroyed I think you'll eventually get the wolf you've always dreamt of."

"That doesn't change that fact that he believes we're not mates." I said as my shoulders slumped. "I kind of think he's right." I sighed. James furrowed his blonde brows and gave me a good hard punch in the shoulder... for a human. I hardly felt it, yet his fingers cracked and he hissed in pain.

Massaging his fingers he met my green eyes. "Seriously, Ryan,_ shut up_! This isn't you, you're never so pessimistic, especially when it comes to _your _wolf. I honestly don't get how you don't get it, especially if _I _get it." He chided, nicely and with a smile of course. "Paul doesn't believe you're mates because the capability to really love you was ripped away from him, he lost the part that would get pleasure from you lips on his, and the want and need to share his body was destroyed. Yet, I can guarantee you that he's yearning to have each and every one of those pieces back. I know all this from just one little look of his your way, and if you can't see it, you're blind. We both know you can't fix him and only he can do that, but Ryan, all you've got to do is give him the tools and parts to do it himself. You're his imprint and you're an alpha, nobody can guide him in the right direction better than you."

I gazed at James and really looked at him. I found myself amazed. "Why are you saying all this?" I questioned.

His eyes widened and he stared at me in bewilderment. "Because I fucking love you!" He exclaimed. "For some crazy reason if he's what you want then I want you to have him and I'm willing to do anything in my power to help you out, even if that means helping him."

I smiled at the absolutely perfect human in front of me. "It's probably all those marijuana cookies you eat doing a number on you." I playfully jested.

"What can I say, they help with the heartache." With that said he leaned forward and placed his two hands gently on my cheeks as be brushed a small tender and loving kiss across my lips. Slowly he pulled away and dropped his hands with a sad smile. "Sorry, I had to feel those lips one last time before I completely gave my dazzling prince away."

Like he did I leaned forward and gently held his face in my hands. Taking a little breath I gave him a kiss of my own. "Have one for the road." I murmured as I let my hands fall back to my lap.

"God, how I love you." He sighed. "Paul better be worth it. I swear to Jesus, Allah, Moses, Zeus, and whoever the hell else might be in the clouds that if that wolf doesn't get his act together and give you everything you deserve I'll get my brother's royal leech to turn me just so I can come back here and kick that mongrels ass."

"Jamie?"

"What's up, beautiful?"

My eyes held onto his and I grabbed his hand in mine. "Are you going to stay human to grow old and die?" I asked him.

James gave me a crooked little grin. "You know I'd never leave you and Emily. You two would be bumbling messes without me. However, I feel like I haven't hit my peak of sexiness yet. I need to give it a year or two more. If I'm going to be a leech I better the hottest damn leech there is." That crooked grin turned into a cocky smirk. "Shouldn't be too hard."

"Jamie?"

"Let me hear it, gorgeous."

My eyes fell from his as I let my worries eat away at me. "I honestly don't think I can help Paul." I sullenly admitted. "Especially not all by myself."

He gave me a look like he thought I was utterly daft. "Whoever said you'll be alone? Paul and I are buddies now, he threatened so himself. I'll help get his ass in gear too, don't you worry. We'll do the whole good cop, bad cop thing. You're obviously the good one. I'll press his buttons while you warm his heart – he won't know what hit him."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

Entering the dining room with James for Christmas dinner I took my respective spot beside Paul while James sat on the other side of me. The table was set and everybody except Riley and Eric who sat across from us was in the kitchen chatting idly while waiting for the last bits of food to be ready.

I felt awkward and tense sitting beside Paul – he didn't even acknowledge me. That was certainly a first; normally he'd be touching me somewhere and pressing a kiss into my hair. I know I told him not to do those things, but I didn't say he couldn't speak to me, and because I'm such a cowardly wolf I didn't have the guts to say something first.

James cleared his throat as he looked to his brother Eric. The wolf was currently nuzzling his face into his leech's neck while said leech ran his fingers through his 'alphas' inky black cropped hair. "Eric, did you like what I got you?" The human asked.

"I haven't had time to open it yet." Eric replied without even bothering to look at his brother. I felt bad for James, especially since the wolf had plenty of time to open his gift when we all sat as a family and opened presents together.

Appearing dejected the human hung his head slightly. "Oh." He murmured.

_Prince_ Riley lifted his wolf's face from his neck and smiled lovingly at him. It made me want to puke. "Did you like what I got you?" He disgustingly cooed.

Eric smiled back at his leech. "Yes, it was perfect." He said in a way that it sounded like he was praising the vampire.

Again James cleared his throat. "We have time now, I could go grab the present if you want. Is it under the tree?"

The wolf shook his head, though still not making any sort of attempt to look at his brother. "No, it's alright." He mumbled as the leech ran his knuckles down the side of his face.

"After you eat dinner we should go to the beach, there's a full moon tonight. I know how those are your favourite." Riley _tenderly_ suggested. I try my very best to never hate anyone, but when it comes to those two I'm incredibly close to it. I know uncle Riley practically saved my life once upon a time, and back then I remember loving him to bits, but he doesn't show an ounce of compassion for James. If anything he treats him like a bother. James is _not _a bother.

Paul sat back in his chair making it creak and crossed his arms as he glared at the pair. "Full moon? How cliche." He quietly grumbled to himself

"I'd love that." Eric whispered as he pressed his nose into Riley's hair, undoubtedly smelling it.

"Can I come?" James queried, and my heart just went out to him. He was dying for his brother's attention.

The wolf finally pulled away from my uncle to lock eyes with James. "It's too cold out there for you, plus you can't even keep up."

The human attempted to smile at his brother, yet you could tell he was hurting with the rejection. "Please, I have a good winter coat, and it wouldn't kill you two to walk my pace."

Eric shook his head and sighed in annoyance. "Jamie, no, it'll just be an inconvenience." He complained.

"Well, do you have to go out right away? I haven't spent any time with you today. I saw that you got that video game you wanted, we could play that for a bit."

"Jamie!" Eric snapped. "Did you not just see that I made plans with Riley? If you wanted to spend time with me you should have when we opened gifts."

"But, Eric," James breathed. "I tried. You were on the loveseat with his highness and I asked if I could sit with you. Prince Riley tried to move so I could, but you stopped him and said I could sit with you later. So, I asked later and you said later again, then like five minutes after that you two left."

The wolf rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about. You never asked to sit with me." He lied, and I know he lied because I was right there. Riley turned to Eric and gave him a funny look, yeah, he knew his 'alpha' was lying too.

"Yes I did." James insisted.

"No you didn't."

"Yes he did!" I snarled at the wolf.

James immediately swivelled in his chair to face me and pressed a hand to my arm. "No, no, Ryan, it's fine. He's right, I didn't." With his words Paul leaned over to look past me and gazed at the human with a 'what the fuck' kind of look in his eyes – he was in the same room and he saw Eric deny his brother's company twice as well.

Eventually James turned forward in his seat and a very uncomfortable silence fell over us, during which I couldn't help but notice the stink eye Riley was giving the human. I assumed it was because he blamed James for Eric looking so pissed off and no longer having his hands all over him.

James was clearly not liking the vampire's gaze and avoided it entirely. However, the wolf beside me had an obvious rage boiling inside him as he flicked his eyes back and forth between the human and leech. Startling everyone at the table Paul slammed a fist down on the table causing all the dishware to clatter. "Would you stop fucking looking at James, I swear to god you'll give the boy herpes if you so much as make eye contact!" The wolf hollered at the leech. In what felt like instantly my dads were in the room observing the situation.

Eric burst from his seat and to his feet. "Don't you dare talk to my vampire like that, you ugly fucking mutt!" He shouted.

Like Eric, Paul leapt to his feet, though his chair was knocked over by the back of his legs. "Then tell your leech to stop looking at my imprints human like he's going to snap his fucking neck!" He yelled in reply.

"Then tell your imprints human to back the fuck off and leave us alone!"

A fury so strong washed over Paul I almost swore the air thickened around him. Appearing reflexively he snatched a plate off the table in front him and hurled it at the wolf. Completely taken off guard Eric didn't even move and the plate shattered against his face. "Tell your_ brother _yourself, you useless fucking cunt!" He screamed so hard and loudly his face turned a purplish shade of red. Riley flew upwards and was immediately plucking the shards from the wolf's bloody skin.

"Paul!" Both my parent's exclaimed.

"Merry fucking Christmas." I whispered under my breath.

James met my eyes and he had a huge grin on his handsome face. "Who knew the wolf took his friendships so seriously?" He happily said. I smiled back at him, I couldn't help myself, he looked ecstatic. I would've thought he'd be angry that Paul hurt his brother, yet apparently not.

"Get the fuck out!" My father loudly growled at Paul as he pointed to the exit. The wolf didn't appear to have an outward reaction, though as he turned to leave I grabbed his hand.

His brown eyes gazed down at me and my heart fluttered. I think I saw the look James had been talking about earlier. "I'll walk you to your room." I said as I stood. I flicked my eyes to James. "That okay?" The human nodded and said to take our time. With my hand still in Paul's I stood and let him guide me out of the dining room.

In silence we walked through the foyer, up the stairs, down some halls, and to his bedroom door. Letting go of my hand he pushed his door open and stepped in. Paul turned around to face me and he gave me the most pitiful of looks. "Ryan, why can sex be without love, but love can't be without sex?" He queried.

My eyes fell to the floor as I thought about it. I came up with nothing. "I... I don't know." I truthfully admitted.

The wolf sighed and I brought my eyes back to his beautiful brown ones. "Neither do I, but, angel, I want you to know that just because I don't want to have sex with you that doesn't mean I love you any less than if I did. I think, if anything, it means I love you more." He told me.

I cocked my head because I didn't understand his words. "Love me more? I don't see how that's possible."

"Think of your parents' relationship for a second and how they act together." He paused and I found that we were both wearing matching disgusted faces. It turned into a cute moment and we chuckled at each other. "Yeah, their relationship revolves around sex, and that's fine, for them, but it's also sad because they don't take the time to take pleasure from the more important things."

"Can you explain?" I questioned.

Paul nodded and moved into the doorway. "They treat each others bodies like objects, whereas you'll never be an object to me, but rather a temple, and inside that temple in my angel." He gently took my hand in his and brought it up to hold it on his cheek. He closed his eyes and leaned into the touch as he took a deep breath, sighed and relaxed. When the wolf opened his eyes he gave me a faint smile. "A single touch from you gives me more pleasure and happiness than sex ever could. I look at you and I see each and every perfect little detail, and I can appreciate these things day after day, moment after moment, because I'm not busy thinking about the ways I want to defile you next. I also love that I can see every little bit of you for what it is."

Paul stepped even closer to me, making our bodies only inches apart as he raised a hand. With it he swept his thumb delicately across my bottom lip. "Physically your lips are one of my favorite things about you. They're full and they're pink and to me they are breathtaking, yet my mind never pollutes my image of them and I never think of what else those lips could be used for. I revel in each _clean_ kiss you give me with them, and I would never take such a gesture for granted because I know just how undeserving I am." The wolf brushed his hand down the curve of my neck, along my shoulder, and down my arm. "I can touch you and truly enjoy the contact however minute it may be. Each touch means something and is special to me, and I never touch you with some sort of sexual ulterior motive. When I touch you it's because I can't imagine my hands on anything else and all I want to feel is you."

The wolf removed my hand from his cheek and placed it back at my side. "When I'm in my bed late at night thinking about you I don't get impure thoughts of you, instead I picture the sweetness of your smile, imagine the sound of your voice, the texture of your hair, and the smell of your skin, yet most of all, and every single night I wish you were there in my arms sleeping next to me. I want to feel your soft breaths on my face as you dream, your chest rising and falling against my own, and your warmth, especially your warmth.

"I swear I love you more and in a way that no wolf, human or vampire ever could, and you know what, Ryan, it hurts. I can't seem to fathom how all that isn't enough for you, yet I know in your mind you can't seem to figure out how it ever could be."

I was just about to open my mouth to speak, but... "Hey, Ryan, let's get going you're holding everything up." My dad called from down the hall as he approached. "Paul..." He sighed once in front of the wolf. "Jake's livid, you know how he likes Eric. You messed up his face pretty badly. It's kind of a bloodbath down there."

Paul crossed his arms and leaned against the door frame. "I wouldn't fret it too much, I'm certain your brother will lick the dog clean."

"Don't I know it." My dad huffed. "But, Paul... next time aim for the fucking jugular! You know how I hate that goddamn cur!"

"Whoa." I said in surprise with my dad's outburst.

My dad turned, smiled, and pressed a kiss to my temple. "Sorry, my prince, you never heard me say that." He flicked his eyes back to Paul. "Good work. Jake will be going to bed early tonight so once he does feel free to eat all the leftovers you find and if you want, for dessert, you can smother Eric in his sleep."

The wolf smirked at my dad. "Is that an order, your grace?"

"Yes." I chirped with a grin.

Paul turned his gaze to me and he had quite the bemused expression on his face. "My angel's got an evil streak, I don't know why I like that so much."

Feeling suddenly giddy, I felt like bragging to the wolf. "You want evil? You should have seen it when I ripped the fur and skin right from this alpha's scruff, albeit not quite on purpose. Although, when I dislocated this other alpha's hip, that was kind of on purpose. However, when I forced another alpha into submission, that was just awesome." I gloatingly said.

Paul's face fell blank. "You got in three separate fights with three separate alphas?" He deadpanned.

"One fight." My dad said proudly.

"I never felt this!" He exclaimed as he pushed himself off the doorframe. "I should have been there!"

"You probably never felt anything because I wasn't in any danger, I kicked their furry butts!" I said smugly, though cutely.

"Okay, enough chit-chat, you're dinner is getting cold." My dad said as he guided me away from the door and down the hall. He looked over his shoulder as we walked. "Oh, Paul, _don't_ forget what we talked about earlier."

"I won't." I heard him mutter.

Once around a corner I looked up at my dad who had his arm around my shoulders to hold me close. "What did you talk about with him?" I asked.

"None of your business, _but_ if you really want to know it was basically about this morning and everything he said to you. Your father and I told him he was being completely inappropriate"

I frowned. "Were you mean and terrifying?"

"What?" He laughed. "I'm not mean or terrifying."

I quirked a brow. "You're kidding, right?" I deadpanned. "Remember that vampire you killed on my twelfth birthday?"

"That was not mean." He growled. "She had a knife and I specifically heard her plotting to kill you to end the alpha of alphas lineage."

"I agree it wasn't mean, but it was terrifying. Was it necessary to kill her in front of a dozen kids? I never saw any of them again, well, except for James and Emily. But, between you, father, and my face it's impossible to have many friends."

My dad smiled handsomely at me, his sharp teeth showing. "I happen to find your face one of the most endearing things about you. You're special, there's no denying that."

I rolled my eyes with a huff of breath. "Yeah, but I don't want to be." I grumbled. "Do you know if father wishes I had grown to be like him, you know, like big and macho?"

Dad's eyes narrowed in on me and he gave me a very serious expression. "Ryan, not once has your father ever thought that or even something remotely similar. You're his boy, his baby, you're part of him, and when he looks at you he's in awe." His serious expression slowly faded and his red eyes sparkled in the light – gross, that meant he had sex with my father sometime this afternoon since he had golden eyes this morning. "You may not be a part of me, but you know I feel the exact same way, don't you?"

I looked away from my dad. "I don't know." I responded. "I mean, to you, I must be nothing compared to Rachel, right?"

"What?" He gasped as he halted and abruptly turned me to face him. "That is utter rubbish, do you hear me?" He said while he held tightly to my shoulders.

"Well, I hear you, but I don't believe you."

Dad looked at me with bewildered eyes. "Tell me, puppy, what on earth have I ever done to give you that impression?"

"You love her more than you do me."

Dad fervently shook his head. "I do _not_." He sternly replied. "My love for her is no different than my love for you."

"But how can you love some runt that's a mutt and a useless alpha like you love your own biological daughter. She's perfect. I know that, you know that, father knows that, and I swear you guys must think I'm an embarrassment compared to her."

Dad placed his cool hands to my warm cheeks "Jesus Christ, Ryan, can you hear yourself?" He vehemently cried. "You could _never_ even begin to understand the love I have for you. I have never seen, nor met, nor heard of a person more precious than you. You are the very first person I ever loved and the very first person I told so. I adore my baby girl and she truly is my miracle child, but you, Ryan, you're my first love and I don't think there's anything more special than that." He let go of my face and pulled me into a tight embrace. "God, Ryan, it breaks my heart to hear you say those things."

I snugly wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face against his shirt. "Couldn't you hear these things in my thoughts?" I asked.

"I told you long ago that I stay out of your head the best I can and I've gotten pretty good at it."

I chuckled into his shirt. "I thought you said that just so I would think things I normally wouldn't in front of you. You know, to catch me being bad or something." I told him.

My dad pulled away from me slightly to gaze down at me with a quirked eyebrow. "And have you been bad?"

I shook my head and grinned. "Not lately."


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Walking toward Paul's door I carried a big plate of food and a glass of milk, while James carried a plate full of desserts. The human had insisted that we take food up to Paul so he could thank him for sticking up for him. Honestly, I think the wolf impressed him. Eric's kind of a bully, but that's alpha nature really, and because he's an alpha people just take what he dishes you. I don't say much to him, but I'm not the confrontational type. Of course if James asked me to kick his brother's ass I'd be like 'Sure, I'll try, but I think he'll kill me'. I don't suppose that matters much, James would never ask that of me anyway. I'm certain in his mind that would be the same as sending some girl to go out and fight the alpha.

"Okay, listen to me closely, I'm about to give you some wicked awesome advice." He said with an enthusiastic grin. I sighed and waited for him to continue on. "Tell him that for you to even consider what he talked about outside his room earlier he has to see a psychiatrist, or therapist, or you know, whatever those brain doctors are that will get him doing those twelve step thingies and whatnot, and make sure to say at least twice a week – once is not nearly enough."

I turned my head and gazed numbly at the human. "And if he says no?" I grunted.

"Then all bets are off and we can start planning our wedding."

"James!" I chuckled. God, I adored him.

He shrugged and changed his grin into a small sheepish one. "It's true, though. If he isn't willing to help himself even when the reward is you then he's a lost cause and a waste of both our time. Also, keep your paws off of him when we get in there. Don't reward him for bad behaviour, make him work for it." He quite casually instructed.

"Jamie, I don't know about this. Of course I want Paul to get better, and everything he told me was really sweet, although using words like 'impure' and 'defiling' proves he's got so far to go. I'm scared he's going to turn me into someone like him – a miserable wreck."

The human frowned, though looked at me like he understood. "If you want to turn back we'll turn back." He told me.

I shook my head. "No." I sighed. "I won't tonight, but I think I should at least try the therapy thing. If he says no... well, I really pray he doesn't say no." I whispered as we came to his door. James knocked. I sucked in a deep apprehensive breath and a few seconds later the wolf answered. I've never been so sad to see such a happy smile on his face as he looked at me.

I feigned a smile for Paul's comfort. "We've come baring dinner."

"And dessert!" James said with grin as he pushed past the wolf and into his room.

The wolf scowled at the human as he followed him deeper into the bedroom. "I didn't invite you in."

James shrugged. "So? I hardly need an invitation to come over and visit my _friend_." He explained as he placed the desserts on Paul's computer desk and he gazed around his room, undoubtedly looking at all the labels. Unlike Emily, he'd never seen the wolf's room. I thought it was better that way. The human's eyes fell to the keyboard and he abruptly ripped off the label from below it causing Paul to gasp.

"Put that back!" He growled sternly.

"Quick question, what is that?" He queried as he pointed to the keyboard.

Paul furrowed his brows and gave him a funny look. "A keyboard."

"So, if you know what it is why is it labelled?"

"Peace of mind." Whispered the wolf, and with it my heart sunk. How could a room like this give him peace of mind? It'd drive me nuts. He used all his effort to make it perfect, yet the only thing he has created is a room that showcased just how imperfect his world is

The human gazed around the room as he seemed to think about what the wolf had said. "But, if you think about it, everything is already labelled, even without the words in front of it."

"No it's not. That doesn't even make sense." Paul snapped.

James nodded. "Yes it does." He tore away the labels from the mouse, computer, and the lamp beside it, making the wolf appear extremely agitated. The human gestured toward the computer. "What is it?"

"A fucking computer." Paul spat. James smiled and nodded toward the mouse. "The goddamn mouse." Lastly he pointed at the lamp. "It's a shitty lamp."

"Yeah, Paul, these things might not be spelled out for you in plain sight, but they don't need to be. You've got every single label you'll ever need right inside that head of yours." James paused to let the wolf respond, yet he did nothing of the sort, not even a single twitch of the face. "I want to try something a little drastic, but I think it might _help_ you."

"Um," Paul hummed as he thought about it. "What is it?" I strode in from the doorway with a little smile on my face and placed the plate and milk down beside the desserts.

"I need paint." James said as he stuck Paul's labels back in place.

"Paint?" The wolf deadpanned.

"There might be some across the hall in the utility closet." I suggested.

"Awesome!" James said grinning as he took off out of the room. Paul came to me and I knew that look, he was a few seconds away from hugging me. As much as I wanted to feel him close, I didn't want to feel him at all. Feeling him just rubs in my face everything I can't quite have. I know it's selfish and maybe it makes me a terrible wolf; yet, you've got to remember I've never claimed not to be.

I just... I don't know, before we get close again I needed to sort through the junk in my head and get over the heart wrenching fact that we will most likely never be together in the way that I want, and even if Paul miraculously gets better that doesn't mean his feelings for me will change. If I somehow and someway came to the conclusion that I wanted to give Paul exactly what he desired from me – a lover without the intimacy – I had to be in the right state of mind. I couldn't be yearning for more and certainly couldn't be unhappy and feeling like I was only getting crumbs – that wouldn't be fair to either one of us. I would have to be content with the fact that physically, Paul and I aren't compatible, and that even despite such conclusion I was still willing to give myself to him.

I took a step back from Paul as I shook my head. "Please, Paulie, don't touch me." I requested.

The wolf looked stunned and pained. "Don't touch you... as in you don't want me to touch you at all?" He quietly exclaimed in question.

My shoulders slummed and I sighed. "I'm sorry, I think it would be better for the both of us if you didn't." I tried to explain as nicely as I could. Any positive feelings completely vanished from his appearance and the mood around us shifted. I opened my mouth to speak to try and get onto a lighter topic, yet before I could even get a word out James came back into the room with a can of black spray paint in hand.

He strode to the bay window and opened it for air. "Can I have my way with your walls?" He asked the wolf.

"Whatever." He grouched as he sat on the edge of his unwrinkled bed.

"Perfect," He breathed as he began to write big, neat, and bold letters on the wall that held the bookshelf. "I noticed you forgot to label them." The human went to each wall and in the same big letters wrote north on one, east on another, south on the next, and he finished with west on the last.

Paul looked around at his four walks and glowered at James. "You're a fucking idiot!" He snapped. The wolf pointed to the wall that had the bedroom door attached to it. "South is that fucking way." He snapped once more as he pointed to the wall across from it.

The human grinned at the miserable wolf. "Well, I know that!" He chuckled. Paul glared at James like murder was on his mind. Catching the wolf's sulky mood James sat beside him on the bed and placed the can of paint to the floor. "Look, we're friends now, and as your friend I feel it is my duty to tell you that this," He motioned around the room at all the labels. "This is not acceptable. I want you, and I bet Ryan does too, to remove a label a day, and when you start to panic and freak out, because you will, look at your four walls and remind yourself that each thing you have marked is making you go in the wrong direction." Paul gazed at the human for a few moments before he stood from his seat, walked past me went into his closet, only to emerge seconds later with a blue pullover hoodie in hand.

The wolf sat back in his seat beside James and looked over at him. "You've got goosebumps." Paul mumbled as he placed the hoodie on James' lap. I don't know why, but this made me 'awe' inside.

The human blushed as he pulled the hoodie over his head, making his hair all a mess. "Yeah, the open window, it's cold out there. But, if it still stinks like paint in here to me, it must reek for you two."

"James?" Paul sighed.

The human smiled faintly as he flattened his hair. "Yeah?"

"I was very, _very_ wrong about you."

James shrugged and placed his hands on his lap as I took a seat on the computer chair. "Whatever, man. I have no hard feelings towards you. Actually, I kind if want to thank you. It felt pretty good watching that plate smash in my brothers face. Takes guts I figure, you know, since he's an alpha and all."

"Yeah, no, it's cool, it really was a long time coming. I never could stand that wolf, plus it never ceases to piss me right the fuck off when family  
is shitty to each other."

The human sighed. "If I ask nicely will you chuck the whole table at him for me the next time you get a chance?" He asked.

Paul eyes fell saddened as he looked at the human. "If I didn't fear for my life I would. I may be a wolf, but he's an alpha – if he decided to retaliate I wouldn't stand a chance, especially being a stray – no pack to come to my rescue. Although, I don't particularly regret leaving his majesty's pack when I took off all those years ago, even if strays don't fare well one on one with an angry alpha."

"Um, hello, James?" I said. "How many times have I tried to stick up for you, and how many times have I tried to send him to purgatory? Yet, you always tell me to be quiet or the like, and beg me to order the guards to let him go."

James let out a huff of breath. "I don't want you fighting my battles."

My eyes widened and I gazed at him in disbelief. "But you want Paul to?" I exclaimed.

The human nodded. "He looks scary when he's angry, it's intimidating, but when you're angry, you just, well, you look so cute." He said.

"I do _not_!" I snarled. Both boys flicked their eyes to each other, smiled, then laughed. I couldn't believe my eyes!

"Yeah! Just like that!" James guffawed. I leaned back in the chair and crossed my arms while scowling at the two.

When the laughter died down Paul turned in his seat to better face the human with hopeful eyes. "Do you honestly think I'm intimidating?" He queried.

"Well, yeah, but that's coming from an 18-year-old human that's never been in a fight and his best friends are a gay prince and a girl."

I quirked a brow. "Why did that sound like an insult?" I grumbled to myself.

"But, you're gay, right?" The wolf asked.

"What?" James laughed. "No. I am in no way, shape or form attracted to the male genitalia, or to males in general. And, before you say it, I know what you're thinking, I am well aware Ryan has a dick between his legs, and no that doesn't make me bisexual for being attracted to him. I just, well, he's Ryan, I can't not be."

Paul shook his head and gave James a ghost of a smile. "I wasn't thinking that at all. Ryan's a very attractive person, inside and out, or at least I think that, and you I suppose." I don't know why I smiled at this, maybe because the wolf met my eyes for a brief moment while he said this, or maybe it was because he said I was attractive. I don't know. My mind is all muddled lately when it comes to the canine.

James grinned as he so often does. I had to love that about the boy. "Very attractive is putting it mildly. Anyway, you're gay, aren't you, Paul?"

Paul shook his head once more. "No." There went my smile.

"Bisexual?"

"No."

"So, straight then?"

"No."

"Er, pansexual?"

"No."

"Polysexual?"

"No."

"Asexual?"

"No."

"Okay, dear god, I pray you don't say yes to this one. Trisexual?"

The wolf chuckled. "Most definitely _not_."

James sighed a sigh of relief. "Okay, so what the hell are you?"

Paul gave him an amused little smirk. "Would it be ironic if I said I don't want to label myself?" He queried.

"Terribly." James deadpanned. "So, if you _had _to pick one, what would it be?"

"Asexual." The wolf replied immediately. Well, at least _I'm _not the problem.

James gave Paul a friendly smile and placed a hand on his shoulder while leaning into him a bit. "Wow, that fucking sucks. You're missing out. Not that I can really vouch for that. My dick has known nothing but my right hand."

"That's _if_ I had to pick." The wolf gave a slight glance my way. "I don't want to pick, and seriously, you're a virgin?" He asked in surprise.

"Dude, I am going to take that reaction as compliment and run with it, and, yes, I am. As you can see I'm devilishly handsome, so I've had plenty of opportunities-"

"Liar!" I laughed in interruption.

"And how would you know, your highness? You're not with me 24/7, for all you know women flock to me in the streets."

"Highly improbable." I mused.

James gave me smug little smirk. "Highly, but not completely." He turned his attention back to Paul. "I'm waiting for true love and all that junk; however, if you're ever for some reason at my flat and my roommates are there, as far as you're concerned I'm a downright whore. So, don't blow my cover or they'll never let me live it down."

"You know, I don't get that." Paul said as he lightly pushed the human off of him. "Why is your brother living here, but you're not?"

James shrugged. "I don't know, because he's a freeloading mooch? It's not like Ryan and the king's haven't offered time and time again a room here. I work, though, and I like to work. If I lived here I couldn't get to the construction sites since a roomie works with me and drives us to and from." He informed the wolf.

"So, buy a vehicle." Paul insisted.

"Yeah, okay, I'll just pull the money right out of my ass for that then. I'm a human, I'm scum at the sites, I get paid next to nothing. Construction companies only want vampires because they're so damn fast and strong. They'll put up with wolves since they're strong themselves and are pretty good at helping out the vamps, though nobody, and mean nobody wants to hire humans anywhere. We're weak, we're slow, and one little crack over the head and we're goners. But, yeah, I work a lot of the big machinery, so most of the time I'm just sitting on my ass all day while the wolves and vamps yell slurs at me. It's pretty easy."

The wolf scowled. "I don't see why you bother, plus if your roommate can afford a car why can't you?"

"Because Caius is a bloodsucker and gets a decent wage." James told him. I groaned uncomfortably at just the thought of James' roommate.

Paul looked to me. "Do we not like this Caius?" He asked.

"He's fine. Really nice actually." I said. "A year or so ago I was over there and my father happened to show up unannounced because he was 'in the neighbourhood'. Anyway, Caius answered the door and I've never seen such a horrified look on someone's face. Then my father cocked his head as he gazed at the vamp and said, 'I know you from somewhere'. Caius fervently disagreed and told him they had never once crossed paths, yet only a few seconds later my father gets this proud smirk on his stupid face and says 'I've had sex with you'. Needless to say awkward times were had by all, except my father. As it turns out my father's _real _dad owned Caius once a upon time when he was king, so, yeah, being the stand-up guy my father was he seduced a slave, which I don't know why it surprised me considering he _bought _my dad at an auction... Jesus Christ, fuck my life." I huffed.

James gave me a cheeky grin. "One might consider that romantic."

"One might also consider that my dad has a serious case of Stockholm Syndrome and needs to see a therapist asap." I grumpily retorted. I watched the bob in Paul's throat as he swallowed while he eyed me intently. He wanted me close, he wanted to hold me and comfort me because I was all worked up. I don't know how I knew this, but I just knew it, I could feel it, he itched for it, and honestly so did I at the moment.

I flicked my gaze to James and willed him to say something to break the silence. He didn't disappoint me. "So, Paul, is his majesty a good kisser?" Okay, so he disappointed me a little.

The wolf gave and teensy smile. "I don't know, James, is _Ryan_ a good kisser?"

The human smirked. "Wouldn't you like to know." Paul's eyes met my lips and I got the very distinct feeling he bluffed when he said he hadn't thought about all the ways my lips could be used. Slowly and probably a little bit to sensually I licked them while he watched. His eyes practically flew away from my mouth as he turned his head away from me entirely while he casually adjusted the front of his jeans. It was horrible, it was terrible, and it was oh so bad of me, but the thought that he might have hard-on inside those pants made me all kinds of aroused, and pathetically I found myself adjusting my own jeans.

Worse yet I was picturing Paul inside his pants all hard, needy, and wanting me while his mind denied him the privilege. I couldn't help but bet that he was thick and well endowed; he just looked like he would be. Was he leaking for me? God, I wanted to know so badly. Gradually his brown eyes turned back to meet my own. His eyes were knowing – The wolf knew exactly how turned on I was.

I desperately wanted to moan in absolute need because my crotch was on fire with lust... "Well, this is weird." James mumbled. "I may be just a human, but us humans have heard of sexual tension and this room is full of it."

"Oh, Jesus!" I exclaimed as I bolted to my feet while I shoved one hand into my pocket and held another to my middle. "I don't feel good all the sudden. I need the bathroom." The two gave me a funny look as I lied and ran to the bedroom door.

James quirked a brow. "Paul has one."

"No, trust me, you do not want me to _go_ in there. I'll use the one down the hall." I cringed and face-palmed as I exited the bedroom. I just had to use the diarrhea excuse. Was I honestly not capable of lying about something less grotesque? Did Paul need a mental imagin of me doing such an act... no he did not, but he got one.

Despite my mess up I hurried to the bathroom, threw open the door, closed it, locked it, turned on the tap for noise so it wasn't so freakishly silent in here, grabbed a tissue, slammed down the toilet seat, sat with a heavy exhale of breath, tore open my pants while wiggling them down my bottom a bit, and last, but certainly not least released my aching self.

I gripped myself tightly, and perhaps a little roughly as I repressed a groan. I was hardly going to last, though I had absolutely no intention to. As I worked my length I thought of all the things I really, really shouldn't. Paul's lips latched to mine, both of us naked, bodies sweaty, breaths ragged, hearts pounding, moans, groans, and needy cries. Paul's teeth nipping, hands gripping, muscles clenching, and dirty words with his voice.

He tells me he's _so _close, that I _need_ to make him come. I'm close too. My legs tighten around him, my hips work with his faster and fervently in the desperate attempt to gain our climaxes. He moans that he's coming. I feel him pulsing as he gives me his wetness and warmth.

I'm gone. Toes curling, breaths impossible, heart racing, bliss, beauty, and love... _but,_ it doesn't last, and when I open my eyes I'm alone, in a bathroom, sitting on a toilet with a sticky tissue in hand, and instead of feeling sated I feel guilty and gross. I pleasured myself to a broken man who is repulsed by everything I just thought. I pleasured myself to a man who was used, abused, and thrown away. I pleasured myself to a man that loved me with all his heart and all he asked for from me was to leave exactly this behind.

I stood from the toilet pulling my pants up along the way and feeling absolutely despicable while doing it. I opened the lid, tossed in the tissue, flushed, and washed my hands. I stared at myself in the mirror and wondered what exactly he saw in me, if anything. I wondered why fate was so cruel to him, why was he destroyed, and why oh why was he cursed with me?

I yearned for there to be a good answer to all of the above, yet I couldn't come up with a single one. I felt like I only had one choice in the matter – to make the answers because there weren't any. Paul deserved answers. I understood that I couldn't fix him. I understood that we'd never be what each other wanted, but maybe, just maybe I could be the little light he had left in his life and he could be the person that made me strive to be the best me I could be.


	15. Chapter 15

**Warning: Violence and whatnot.**

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen**

"Would you stop doing that?" James exclaimed as he tossed a pillow from my bed at me. It hit my back, and I ignored it. "Obsessive isn't a good look on you."

"I'm not obsessing, Jamie. Paul said he wanted to eat a bit of his dinner then go for a run. He met my eyes and specifically told me he'd be no longer than two hours. It's been over three hours now." I explained as I placed a hand to the cool glass of the window I was gazing out of.

The human huffed as he threw yet another pillow my way. "He's a wolf in the woods, give him a break."

I shook my head. "No, he said he'd be here to watch a movie with us, but he's not. Something _is_ wrong." I vehemently insisted. "I think I should be looking for him."

"Well, then what the hell are you doing in here talking to me if you thinkyou should be out there looking for him?" His tone a slight mix of annoyance and unwelcome humour

"I don't know." I breathed while I flicked my eyes along the snow blanketed tree line. "I could be wrong."

James rolled off my bed and came up beside me to peek out the window himself. "You sounded pretty sure of yourself a second and a half ago."

I turned my head to look at the handsome human. "What would you do if you were me?" I queried.

He gave me a cheeky grin. "I'd say good riddance, and kiss the sexy blonde guy standing next to me." I rolled my eyes and followed it up with a very unamused glare. "No, not the answer you're looking for? Then go fucking look for him."

I removed my eyes from James and peered out the window once more. "Go to my parents." I said as I opened the window. "Tell them I'm worried about Paul and that I want them to come find me. I'll be heading for the cliffs – that's where he likes to run." I instructed as I slid out of the window. James handed me a pair of cutoffs I kept on the windowsill as he said his goodbye, I nodded as I turned my back to him. I folded the pants tightly and placed a good chunk of them between my teeth.

I took off toward the tree line in a sprint while allowing my animal instincts to take over and before I could even blink my eyes the clothes that I had donned burst from body to leave colorful specks in the snow behind me. Appearing as if I were part of it, my four white paws disappeared into the snow with each step I took. The cutoffs were snug in my jaws as I lunged from the open field into the cover of the trees.

Sounds muffled by the snow caused the forest to be eerily quiet, save for the creaking of olden trees and the hoot of a wide eyed owl. White puffs of breath exited through my snout while my ears pricked to catch any extra noise there may be. As I whizzed past endless trees, rocks, and shrubs that all looked and smelt the same an ugly anticipation built in my chest the closer I got to the cliffs.

My heart thudded wildly between my ribs as it pumped thick spurts of adrenaline through my veins while I shoved my way through brush. I could smell the lingering scent of the ocean in the distance, yet even those waters were still and silent tonight. By this time I knew whatever I came to see I wouldn't like one bit. I could feel Paul's pain blowing through the breeze, even taste it in the air, and the heaviness of his emotional distress weighing me down was intoxicating. It made a rage stronger than I've ever felt burn so deep it scorched my soul. It was agony and I longed to cry out, but I knew better and pressed on with each quick step feeling much to slow.

I spit out my cutoffs the moment voices were heard as the brush thinned. I slunk to my belly and crawled forward. With my head to the snowy ground I inched forward until I could see clearly onto the cliffs. My eyes widened with the sight before me, I was shocked and appalled, yet that rage inside me burned so bright and heatedly I thought I might explode – in fact I was certain I would.

To my right Paul stood blank faced and nude with his arms pulled behind his back; they were being held awkwardly and tightly by a smirking large wolf I didn't recognize. However, in front of him and to my left stood another wolf I didn't recognize, yet also a duo that I did – Eric and Riley.

I flicked my eyes back to Paul. His nose had bled at one point which had stained all the way down his torso. Worse, around his neck was a 'dog collar', or more specifically a thick metal ring they typically locked around wolves' necks in prison to prevent them from phasing.

Eric strode forward and put his face close to Paul's. "Why aren't you smiling? I brought you a date." He taunted as he pointed to the wolf at his side. Paul didn't move, he didn't blink, it didn't even look like he so much as breathed. "We've all heard the rumours about you. Apparently you were quite the hot commodity in prison. You want to know how I can tell how the rumours are true?" The wolf paused, yet gained no reaction from Paul. This seemed to anger him and he latched a hand onto Paul's face, bruising his cheeks. "When I look at you I see nothing but a _disgusting _and_ dirty_ whore." He venomously hissed.

Eric let go of Paul's face and brought the same russet hand up to run it roughly through the wolf's hair. He gripped the back of it and tilted Paul's head to force the wolf to look up at him. Eric sniffed the air and crinkled his nose. "You reek like the semen of every man that has gotten off inside you, and I just have to wonder, did you ever like it, Paulie?" I repressed a growl as Eric used my nickname for the wolf. Eric smiled and chuckled. "Doesn't matter I suppose, since I know for a fact you won't like it one little bit when your date gets his paws on you." Eric leaned close to Paul, pressed his lips to his ear and whispered: "I guarantee you have no idea what a good _hard_ fuck really feels like... but you're about to find out."

Paul gave a heart wrenching whimper and I burst from the bushes. I had no plan, I didn't care, yet I sunk my teeth into the first fleshy neck I could reach – the wolf Eric said would fuck _my_ Paul.

"Ryan, no!" Riley screamed. I paid him no mind and slammed the wolf's body to the ground with my paws on his chest and my jaws wrapped around his neck. My weight forced the breath from his lungs through his clenched and torn throat causing blood to rise up and splatter my face from his mouth.

Two strong hands belonging to Eric gripped my scruff and wrenched me from the wolf. I figured he was trying to save him, yet my mouth had a tight hold on his throat and everything I held onto came with me when Eric tore me away. Spitting and snarling, I whipped my head to the side as he hauled me away and snapped at his arm. My teeth only nicked him, though the slight pain startled him and I snapped again, this time successfully.

The wolf cried out in pain and Riley instantly came to his aid while bellowing for me to let go. The leech prince stuck his fingers into my mouth trying to pry my jaws apart, this only caused me to latch on with more strength. "Get him off!" Eric wailed in agony.

"I'm trying!" Riley pathetically exclaimed. "Ryan, please!" The vampire begged. He had to be kidding, and it only fueled my rage that he thought I might actually listen. With all my strength fighting against the leech's grip I clamped my jaw tightly together, my teeth touching, and the wolf shrieking. Finishing, I ripped my head away removing the better half of his left forearm – it'd heal, but it would _not_ grow back. "Oh my god!" Riley cried.

I growled and snarled at the wolf as he fell to his knees. I snapped my powerful jaws in his face, a tooth just barely grazing the tip of the wolf's nose, and in shock and pain he fell onto his back holding his _bloody fucking stump _I so graciously gave him. Riley ignored me completely as he went to his own knees to pull his dog to him just in an effort to sooth and coddle him.

I turned my body in Paul's direction to see that the wolf that had been holding him fled some time ago. Paul had fallen to his stomach, his waist and chest in the snow with his arms sprawled above his head, elbows bent, and his face in my direction. His eyes were open, but they were as good as closed, and his beautiful brown eyes weren't so soulful anymore, instead they looked empty, dead even. The wolf was on autopilot. Functioning, but not alive.

Slowly and carefully I made my way to Paul. I found that as I neared his eyes followed me and as I rounded him so I could keep my attention on the duo the wolf rolled onto his back to keep his eyes on me. Feeling intensely protective I blanketed the length of his bare body with my furry one. Outwardly he showed no response, but inwardly I could feel the subtle shift of his emotions. He knew his imprint was with him and that fact alone helped him begin to relax.

Only moments later my parents came through the foliage. Their eyes were instantly horrified as they took in their surroundings and tried to connect the dots. Red snow, the dead wolf, my bloody muzzle, Eric's missing arm, and Paul beneath me. My dad's eyes met mine and I replayed everything in my mind to the best of my ability. A mix of emotions contorted his face, fury being the most prominent one.

Next his eyes met Riley and the vampire shuddered in the snow as my dad glared at him icily. "A joke?" My dad deadpanned. "You say this was supposed to be a joke?"

Riley became flustered as he tried to find the proper words. "Yes, well, no, kind of, so yes. Eric and I, we just wanted to teach the wolf a lesson. Show him not to mess with an alpha. We were just trying to scare him. Nobody would have actually touched him... like that." He explained. I felt myself swallow and my breath lost its meaning. Did I kill a wolf that had no real intention of hurting Paul?

"A joke." He deadpanned once more while his hands clenched at his sides, whereas my father just looked too stunned for words. "Does this seem like a_ fucking _joke to you?" My dad screamed as he motioned all around him. My dad _never _screams.

Riley shook his head fervently as he held tightly onto Eric. "No." He whined.

"Where's the key?" My dad questioned.

"What?" Riley breathed.

"Where is the key for the fucking collar?" He loudly and angrily snapped.

Riley pointed to the deceased wolf. "He had it." My dad stalked to the wolf, bent and went through one of the pants pocket and came up empty, he went to the other and came up holding a chain with a small key on it.

My dad came to us and knelt by Paul's head. "It's Ed, Paul, I gotta touch you to get this thing off." He informed the wolf.

_'Can you hear his thoughts alright?' _I asked my dad with my own thoughts as he reached for the collar.

He paused his movements and to give me a loving gaze. "Yes, and, puppy, don't for a second doubt what you did here. You went above and beyond your call of duty. You protected the wolf who imprinted on you and a life was lost, but you got to know, Ryan, if this was Jacob lying here, joke or not, I'd have killed them all, Riley included, so you're a better man than me."

"Don't say that, we're brothers." Riley whimpered.

My dad looked over his shoulder at the leech. "Are we? Because I'm absolutely positive that the Riley I used to know would have _never_ set out to hurt another person. My brother was a goofy and lovely boy. I have _no _idea who on earth _you_ are." He spat. My dad turned his attention to Paul and ran a few fingers through his hair. "You're going to be just fine, hear me? You've got Ryan with you, me, and even Jake – he's standing by the trees, being useless, as per usual. Why am I the one that always has to do all the hard work, huh, Paul? I don't think it's very fair." My dad went to the collar and placed the key in the lock as he chuckled. "Yeah, I think so too."

I flicked my eyes between them not understanding. _'What did he just think?'_ I questioned.

My dad lifted Paul's head slightly to get the collar off from around his neck. "That I'm stuck doing all the hard work because I'm better at it." He told me as he placed the wolf's head down gently.

_'Dad, please tell Paul I love him.'_

My dad once again ran a hand through Paul's hair. "You've got an admirer, Paul. My son would like me to tell you that he loves you." He paused for a moment, and smiled faintly. "No, you're more than capable. If you want it said you're going to have to do it yourself."

Paul's eyes slowly blinked while his dry lips parted for a pink tongue to come out and quickly wet them. "I love you too, angel." He near silently murmured. Wanting nothing more than to comfort the wolf and to show him I was listening I was about to nuzzle his cheek, but thought twice about it. I was covered in blood. I doubted he'd appreciate me rubbing it on his face. I was about to ask my dad to say something for me, but he was already up and walking away.

I met Paul's eyes and quietly whined. Unexpectedly he brought his hands up and rubbed his fingers behind my ears. I closed my eyes and gave him a contented little purr. "What would I do without you?" He whispered, and I opened my eyes and gazed into his. His brown eyes certainly weren't their soulful selves, but they didn't look dead anymore. They looked alive, though also scared and pained.

I leaned in and brushed the tip of my moist nose against his and while I pulled away his chin started to shake as his eyes began to water. His arms lifted and he held me in a tight embrace as he brought my head down so he could hide his face in the fur of my neck.

"Get him up." I heard my dad demand. While Paul used my body to hide from the world I watched as my father walked over to Eric and Riley. Roughly, he grabbed hold of the back of Riley's neck and forcefully ripped him away from the wolf and tossed him a few feet away. Father then bent down and specifically latched onto Eric's severed arm to pull him to his feet. The wolf screamed of course, normally the part of me that would find some reason to feel sorry for him was nowhere to be found. He was a cruel alpha wolf that had used a broken man's past against him to instill humiliation, fear, and pain – I felt nothing for Eric. He was no better than the guards that created that past.

My dad stepped close to Eric and stood right in front of his face. "Sometimes I wish people would listen to me a little bit better. I didn't like you ten years ago, and surprise, surprise I still don't." Abruptly, and something I've never seen my dad do, he backhanded the wolf and the loud smack of it caused both my father and Riley to gasp. My dad had hit him hard; his cheek was instantly bloody and bruised. "Now teach _me_ a lesson! Come on, I dare you." He hissed. The wolf shook his head no. "Why not? I'm sure it'll be a laugh, just one _big_ joke."

"Edward, he only has one arm, please, just stop!" Riley fretfully exclaimed. My dad shoved the collar and key into my father's hand as he motioned for his brother to come close.

Once at an arm's length he grabbed Riley by the jaw and pulled him even closer. "I find it absolutely revolting that you think I'm at an unfair advantage because I have two arms while Eric does not, though the fact that you attacked Paul, four against one, has yet to cross your selfish little mind." He furiously growled. He pushed his brother's face away from him and took back the collar and key from my father.

Dad yanked Eric over to him by the front of his shirt, and using the speed only a vampire had he locked the collar on the wolf before he even had a chance avoid it. Without a trace of compassion he grabbed Eric by his slowly healing severed arm and dragged the wolf past Paul and I towards the cliff's edge.

Dad held up the key by its chain and dangled it in front of his eyes. "This is your wolf, Eric. Say goodbye to it." And with that said he tossed the key over the ledge and to the salty waters below. With a sharp whine the wolf turned his back to the open ocean and bit his bottom lip while thick tears streaked his cheeks. My dad rounded the wolf while glaring menacingly at him. "Do yourself a favour next time, don't fuck with the king's best friend!" He hollered as his palms slammed into the front of the wolf's chest sending him flying over the side of the cliff.

"Eric!" Riley bellowed as he attempted to dart toward the cliffs edge, yet my father had gotten a good hold on his wrist. "How could you?" He screamed. "How the fuck could you do that to _my _wolf?" He screamed again.

My dad strode over to the vampire. "Brother, are you blind or just plain stupid? Because of your actions someone is dead. Actions have consequences. That fall won't kill Eric. The water might, but that's up to fate, not me. I think you should consider the wolf lucky, but you, no, not so much. I'm your fate now. I choose what you do, how you do it, when you do it. I choose what you drink and when you drink. I choose who you see, when you can see them, and what you can say to them. I choose where you sit, where you lay, what you wear, and how you brush your hair. Your life is my life, and when I can't be in your presence to control it, I will sit you in a room and have however many guards it takes to keep you there in your company." Riley's ruby red eyes widened while his small Adam's apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed in apprehension. My dad turned his attention to father as he grabbed onto his brother's shoulder. "I'm taking him home and I'll send out guards to clean this mess up. Help Paul get dressed in the clothes _you_ are wearing then bring him home, get him in the shower, then into bed. If I can make time to see him tonight I will, if not, I will make sure to first thing in the morning. You got it?"

My father nodded and sighed. "Yeah, babe, I got it."

Dad scowled. "Don't you 'babe' me." He snapped. "I blame a hell of a lot of this on you."

Father lecherously smirked. "Does that mean I'm in trouble?" Christ, even at times like this they can't keep their cocks to themselves.

"Big trouble, and you will be punished." My dad replied with a matching lustful smirk.

"Good, I look forward to it."

* * *

**I'm certain if you didn't hate me before, you do now. Sorry.**

**D:**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

As my paws stumbled along the rocks at the bottom of the cliffs I couldn't help but feel like I was betraying Paul in some sort of way. He wasn't the sobbing mess like I expected, but rather docile, quiet, and reserved. He also did exactly as instructed by my father, shower then went straight to bed. I sat with him for a few minutes as his exhaustion slowly pulled his eyes closed. He clung to my hand like his life depended on it and when his tired brown eyes finally shut I leaned in and gave the tip of his nose a kiss. The corners of his lips just barely curved upward and his breaths evened while his heart steadied. I didn't know what was going to happen to Paul and me after all this. We always seem to be taking one step forward and two steps back.

Refusing my parents help I explained to James what happened. Until this night I had no clue his beautiful blue eyes could ever look so sad and distraught. He begged me to plead with my parents to send guards out to find Eric. James swore if they found him he'd take him to his place and make sure the wolf never returned – he just wanted his brother, bad dog or not. Honestly, I could fully understand this. I knew if my sister did something as equally terrible I'd still feel just the same. I'd have less respect, but my love for her was undying.

For the sake of James and nothing else I went to my parents and requested that we find him, of course I followed it up with my reasons to do such. My father reluctantly agreed, yet my dad did not and went off on a tangent that the wolf got what he had coming, that he's a disgrace, and he will _not_ bring Paul's name to shame by helping his attacker. If you hadn't already guessed, my father does exactly what my dad says and told me he was sorry, but Eric was on his own, alive or dead, and in time James will get over it.

Sometimes I felt like my parents were heartless bastards. This had nothing to do with Eric or Paul, it was all about my heartbroken friend who needed to know what happened to his brother. So, I guess that's how I ended up climbing over slippery rocks and falling into icy waters each and every time a paw slipped or a rock moved from under the heavy weight of my wolf form. I couldn't let James down and even though me doing the searching felt wrong when I thought of Paul asleep in his bed, I wouldn't stop. I had already sworn to myself that my friends came before Paul. I guess this proves just how good my word is.

After only an hour of searching I saw in the distance a flat rock jutted out from the ocean that was just large enough for a certain wolf to lay his head and torso on. In the dim light of the moon I couldn't tell if Eric was unconscious or dead and I honestly couldn't say which one I preferred. For James' sake, alive, for Paul's, well, you know the answer.

I barked at the stranded alpha in attempt to rouse him, though his body didn't even flinch and it was then I knew I had no choice but to get in the frigid winter waters and swim to him. Hesitantly, my paws shuffling along the rock begging me not to make them leap, but I leapt nonetheless and right into the water that was so cold it even stunned my overheated body. The chill of the water whisked away my breath, making my lungs feel flat in my chest while the cold stiffened my joints.

As quickly as I could I paddled the distance to Eric as I thanked whoever was responsible for making the waves calm tonight. It took me a few minutes to reach the wolf, though once there I was rather horrified with what I saw. His face which had been previously turned away from me was bloody and swollen along with being black and blue with bruises – an easy indicator that wherever he fell the ocean floor with its unforgiving jagged rocks had not been kind to him.

His shirt had been mostly torn from him and I could see a generous portion of his muscled back that appeared to be in the exact same shape of his face. However, I had hope for James, because beneath his awful exterior was a heartbeat. I pressed my nose into his hair and nuzzled my snout gently against him to try to get his attention. He groaned and I whined in response. His eyes peeled open and showed an utter look of disbelief. "Ryan?" He gasped near silently through cracked blue lips. I nodded and the water rippled. "You shouldn't be here." He whispered, his body so cold his breath didn't even fog the air. _Yeah, Eric, don't I know it, but I am. _

Gently I grabbed the one hand he had left with my mouth to urge him to get in the water and swim back with me. With a small exhale of breath his eyes seemingly closed on their own accord as the beat of his heart began to slow at an alarming rate. I growled with his hand in my mouth; sorry, Eric, dying isn't an option – I sunk my teeth into his flesh causing his eyes to pop open and his heart to speed up in a flurry of pain.

During his whimper of pain I moved my teeth from his hand to his jeans and with my paws on the rock under the water for leverage I dragged him into the icy ocean. Immediately I pinned his body against the rock with mine to hold his weak self in place and his head above water. In desperation, but doing exactly what I wanted him to he shuffled himself onto my back.

As expected the huge wolf was heavy, but the fact that his weight was dragging me under had me in a bit of a panic. He noticed and I felt his legs and arm and a half loosen their grip to let go of me, but with a snarl I swung my head back to snap at him to tell him if he let go there would be hell to pay. His grip tightened once more and I used my back legs to kick off against the rock to get some momentum going. It worked well for a few yards, though once I was on my own I really struggled and by the mouthful I swallowed down gulps of salty water trying to get a breath. With all my strength I moved slowly forward through the calm waves, yet the more I moved the more I seemed to sink, though all I could think about was James. I couldn't let his damn brother drown, but at this rate we both would – then again, at least he'd know I tried if that were the case. My eyes widened at the thought and the water stung my eyes as I sunk deeper. Paul would undoubtedly follow me if I died. That wouldn't do.

Now that I think about it, it didn't really matter if that wouldn't do because I was still sinking, the tip of my nose the only thing that was grazing the surface. Suddenly, though, everything felt lighter and my furry white body started to rise to the surface. When my head emerged from the water a pair of angry black eyes were staring back at me and a leathery black nose snorted out a huff of breath spraying water in my face.

A whimper left my throat and the soggy silvery-grey wolf lightly nuzzled the end of his snout with mine. Gradually Paul pulled away and turned toward the rocks at the bottom of the cliffs, and when he did so I could see that Eric was draped over his back. Stunned, I silently followed along behind him and once to the rocks he pulled himself up making sure to keep Eric secure. My thin and frozen legs struggled to lift me up, but as expected Paul was there to help me out and lowered his head and snugly he grabbed hold of my scruff effectively raising me up onto firm ground.

Exhausted, I lied flat on my stomach and without any warning my stomach heaved, ridding itself of its salty contents – If wolves could blush my white cheeks would be as red as roses. Paul once again lowered his head, though this time his tongue grazed across the fur at the top of my head and around me ears. I shakily stood and when I rose to face the wolf I found his head turned to the side and his throat submissively bared to me.

Entirely uncertain of what to do I let my wolf guide me forward and with little to no thought I pressed my teeth through Paul's fur at the side of his neck until they touched his skin. I roughly nipped the flesh, though I just barely drew enough blood to taste its coppery flavour. Abruptly the two of us winced as a literal cluster-fuck of thoughts belonging to Paul bombarded my mind... and that's when I realized something, Emily was going to kill me for this. I doubted very much she'd appreciate me adding Paul to our two-man pack without her blessing.

_'You're so stupid, do you hear me? Stupid!'_ Was the first thing he bellowed at me with our new-found connection. _'If I couldn't feel you so well... If I didn't know how to find you so easily... Who knows what could have happened to you, and for what, Eric? Putting aside what he did tonight, he still isn't worth even a quarter of you. If you're going to insist on doing such stupid things at least tell me so I can come with you to make sure you don't kill yourself!' _

I gave him my best wolfish smile. _'You were worried about me?'_ I queried.

Paul huffed. _'You're my imprint, I never stop_ _worrying about you.' _He told me.

I leaned into him and nuzzled my face into his neck, which wasn't hard since that's where I stood with our height difference. _'Paulie... think about the imprint, I want to see just how you feel.'_

The wolf shook his head with another huff of breath as he pressed past me and clambered along the slippery rocks with a seemingly unconscious Eric on his back. _'I'm in no mood to flatter you – not with this thing on my back.' _He grouched.

I trailed closely behind him. _'I'm surprised you didn't let him drown.'_ I muttered to myself.

_'Ryan, even I wouldn't have pushed him off the cliff like his grace did. He fucked with my head – scared the life right out of me, but in the end I was only stripped, collared, given a bloody nose, a few bruises, and had some shitty words thrown my way to make me feel like shit. I probably shouldn't say this, especially to you, but his majesty has done way worse things to me when he was a prince.'_

I sighed. _'I've heard plenty of stories. But, still, Eric threatened you, saying that wolf I killed was going to... you know. I just, I don't know, I thought you'd be a lot more upset than this.' _I explained.

_'Yeah, threatened, but didn't. The one time I kissed his majesty was when his grace was away building the army before the fall of the king. For a few seconds, I'll admit it, I enjoyed it. He was my alpha and he was being so affectionate, but then he started to force himself on me,' _Yeah, sounds like my father alright. _'And I told him to stop, he didn't listen, so I told him to stop again, and he still didn't listen. I ended up chucking him off his bed, yet even with all that said I didn't go into meltdown mode. Yelled at him, sure, but I didn't go cry about it. Over the years I've cried over a lot of things, though I swear to you, Eric will _not_ be one of them.'_

I eyed the wolf from behind. _'So, basically, what you're saying is now that I'm you're alpha you'll make out with me because you like an affectionate leader? Oh, Paul, I'll kiss the bejesus out of you, just you wait!' _I shamelessly, though terribly flirted.

He gazed over his shoulder at me and gave me a bright-eyed little look. _'Will you? I'm not so sure, but think what you want.'_

_ 'Paul!' _I exclaimed.

He chuckled inside his mind as we finally made it to sandy ground of a beach. _'What?'_

_ 'That wasn't a huge no like I was expecting.'_

_ 'It wasn't a yes either.' _He informed me.

I trotted up to his side. _'You still haven't said no.'_

He turned his head and met my eyes. _'Ryan, I don't know if you're really an angel; maybe you are, maybe you aren't, but you were my angel tonight and acted like the true alpha I never had, until now. Even though it was such a terrible situation I have never once in my life felt more loved, wanted, special, and protected. You made me feel like I was worth something. I haven't felt like I was worth something in over ten years. Time and time again you have made me feel things I thought were gone from me. I'm not going to say no, I can't say no, because after tonight I have absolutely no clue what you have in store for me.'_


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

Naked and red cheeked I scrambled through my window, and I just couldn't help but wonder if Paul would take a peek at my bare ass as I climbed through. A part of me wanted to say no, yet a bigger part of me wanted to say yes, he most definitely would and he'd adore every inch of it. "You didn't find him?" James whimpered as he stood from my bed where he'd been laying and waiting.

I pulled on a pair of light grey sweats that I had left by the window. I looked over to my human friend. "I did, but, just, prepare yourself for what you're about to see." I mumbled as I leaned out the window to pull a limp Eric off of Paul's back by the pits of his arms and drag him through my window. I got him in, the heels of his feet thumping against the floor as his legs fell from the sill. I laid him down and James immediately came to his side with a horrified look on his face – he clearly didn't like all the damage that had come to Eric. "Get his wet clothes off." I instructed as I went to James' designated drawer on my dresser and pulled out a pair of shorts I felt were likely to fit Paul. I chucked them out the window without James even noticing and hurried into my bathroom to grab towels to dry Eric off.

Right as I reentered my room Paul hopped through my window causing James to startle. "What are you doing here?" He gasped.

Paul opened his mouth the speak, but I cut him off. "I couldn't have gotten your brother here without him." I told the human.

He looked up at Paul from the floor. "Seriously?" The wolf nodded. "But why?"

Paul gave a little smile and met my gaze. "Why do you think?" He questioned. Once again interrupting I brought the towels over to James and helped him get the soaked jeans off his brother.

In a weird turn of events all three of us were crouched over the unconscious, black and blue, and icy cold alpha to pat him dry with fluffy white towels. James turned his attention to Paul. "You don't have to do this. I'd understand if you didn't want to."

"I'd rather be useful." Paul sighed. He paused for a moment and shrugged. "Surprisingly enough doing this feels like better revenge than watching him being shoved off that cliff. He's seen me at my worst, I have now see him at his. I feel we're even." I couldn't help but smile at the wolf because of this. Sometimes he really did surprise me, and, admittedly, I love being surprised.

After Paul scrubbed away the blood from Eric's face and dried his hair, while James cleaned up his torso, and me his legs the human and I got out of the wolf's way so he could lift Eric onto my bed. James pulled back the covers and Paul placed him in the middle of the mattress. Apparently him and I were on the same wave length because we both crawled on the bed, separate sides, and pressed our overheated bodies against the frozen wolf.

I tugged up the covers and both Paul and me rested our heads on either side of Eric's chest while we each draped an arm across him, although the palm of Paul's hand rested on my upper arm. "You know," He grumpily muttered. "I fucking hate Christmas."

James scurried onto the bed and sat cross legged behind Paul. "To be fair the holidays never go that well around here. Though, I'm pretty sure this one tops it. But, oh god," The human chuckled. "Remember the thanksgiving before last, Ryan?"

"Ugh." I groaned. "I hadn't until now."

Paul offered up a faint smile. "What happened?" He asked.

"Emmett happened." James deadpanned. "I didn't even know it was physically possible to shit and puke at the same time. I was wrong, so very, very wrong."

The wolf's eyes widened. "What?" He laughed, really laughed. I loved it when he did that.

I huffed in dismay. "I've never wanted to be a vampire, but I did that night. Everybody that ate the turkey Emmett insisted on preparing himself got violently ill. _Violently._" I unhappily reminisced.

James rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. "I told you all it tasted funny, but, _nooo_, no one ever listens to the human. The moment poor E.J. upchucked all over his dinner plate I felt a dark feeling of doom spread over my soul. I also remember right after that happened your mother, who was sitting beside me, Ryan, gave me teensy but knowing smile – she felt the doom too – and she pressed a hand to my shoulder and said 'My tofurky tastes great'."

Slowly the alpha wolf warmed up, his cuts began to heal, his bruises started to fade and after an hour or so of this Paul and I removed ourselves from Eric telling his little brother that it was his job to keep him warm for the rest of the night, and with rosy cheeks the human snuggled up to his nude brother while Paul started for the door. "Where are you going?" I queried with a pout.

"Bed."

I nodded toward the sofa where I'd be sleeping on. "There isn't room for two, but I'm willing to make a dogpile. You'll obviously bottom for me." The second those _stupid_ and easily misconstrued words came out of my mouth my face heated immensely. Paul gave me a funny look. I wanted to die. James chortled in my bed. "I meant you'll lay on the bottom, and I'll lay on you." I swallowed feeling extremely awkward and like I still haven't righted the situation. "Because, you know, if we ever, yeah, I wouldn't expect you to, well, bottom... I've never pictured it that way anyhow." Oh dear god... what did I just do?

Paul's funny looked turned funnier. "Do you often picture us doing that?" He questioned.

I swallowed again, my cheeks nearly bursting into flames. "What's your definition of often?" Really, _really_, Ryan? That's what you come up with?

James laughed from where he was laying. "Goodnight you two." He said as he rolled slightly to turn off the lamp on the night table and leave the wolf and I in the dark – not that the dark was all that dark for us.

"A few times a week." Paul replied.

"Oh, well, yeah, obviously." _Jesus! _Had I no filter all the sudden? "I mean..." Was there even any way to even that statement? "No, I guess that's what I meant."

The wolf inhaled a deep breath to seemingly calm his nerves. "And when you ran to the washroom this evening with an erection, you were thinking of me?" James snickered at Paul's sentence and I was willing to bet it was the word 'erection' that got him because, yes, sometimes he is _that_ immature.

"I think you mean diarrhea, not erection." I tried to correct him. Although, now that I thought about it, I wasn't sure which one I'd rather him think I had. In my mind I want to say stiffy, because when I think of hard manly poles I get a nice and pleasant tingly feeling on the inside, but for all I knew he thought Ryan Jr. wanting to come out and play was more revolting than me... you know what-ing.

The wolf shook his head. "No, I definitely meant erection and you definitely didn't have diarrhea."

"You don't know that." I retorted.

Paul cocked his head slightly and gave me a small handsome smile. "I'm socially awkward, not stupid. Were you thinking about me?"

"No." I lied. I didn't want to admit to sexually assaulting him with my mind. It made me feel like such a pervert.

The wolf furrowed his brows and appeared very unimpressed with my answer. "Who were you thinking about then?"

"Me." James cockily put in.

I fervently shook my head in disagreement. "I bluffed." I shamefully confessed, not that I felt shameful for lying, quite the contrary really. I was just upset that he'd get upset for me thinking such vulgar things about him.

"So..." He drawled. "Was I good?"

My eyes widened and I just about choked on my tongue. "Excuse me?"

"When you pleasured yourself in the bathroom and thought of me, did I..." he trailed off looking extremely uncomfortable.

James cleared his throat. "Did he make you moan for more, your full _pink_ lips part while you pant for breath, your brow sweat, and your toes curl all while you came so hard you could have sworn it was real?"

Paul's nose crinkled in distaste as he flicked his gaze to James. "You're rather disconcerting." He told him.

"Paul, this is a lovers triangle, get used to it. I think those things _all _the time about Ryan. I want his highness, his highness wants you, and you want... well I don't even think you know what you want." He offered up a huge grin. "Team James, woop woop!"

The wolf squinted his eyes at the human as he tried to understand him. "Team what?"

"Don't worry about it." James sighed. "The only way my team would ever win is if you never existed. Anywho, since I'm like, you know, the _perfect_ friend I'm kind of rooting for you anyway."

The wolf shook his head and brought his attention back to me. "You didn't answer my question. Was I, uhh, what James said?" He asked.

"Better." I admitted. "The best."

Paul let out a deep breath of air as he took a few steps backward. He reached for the door handle, twisted, and pulled it open. "I'll be down in the morning. Thanks for... I don't know what the fuck I'm thanking you for. See you later Ryan, James." He blabbered while he exited my room closing the door behind him.

"Well, Christ!" James exclaimed. "I almost got an empathy boner having to listen to all that!"

I scowled at the human. "That's disgusting, especially since you're latched onto your naked brother." I said as I flopped on the couch, fluffed the pillows, grabbed the thin blanket off the top of it and laid down.

"Half brother. That literally makes it fifty percent less incestuous."

* * *

I was back home and in my bed with fresh sheets before 7:00am. I thought it'd be best to get Eric out of the palace before my dad got out of bed when my father woke up, so I drove the brothers to James' flat. The wolf was extremely apologetic and teary, though truthfully it meant nothing to me. I wasn't the one he needed to apologize to anyway.

By eight there was a knock at my door and I told whoever it was to come in because I was much too lazy to get up and answer the door. I smiled when I saw Paul all showered and dressed for the day. From the middle of my bed I pulled my arms out from under the covers and held them out to him. He quirked a brow. "What does that mean?" He queried.

I chuckled and brought my hands down to rub at my sleepy eyes. "To come cuddle with me." I replied.

He walked toward the bed and slipped off his sneakers. "I thought you said you didn't want me touching you and stuff." He said while he got under the covers.

As he scooted in close to me I pressed my bare torso to his side while I draped an arm over his stomach and rested my head on his chest. "That was before I became your alpha and you admitted to liking to kiss those superior to you."

The wolf gave me a funny little grin as he snugly wrapped his arms around me. "You know, I don't believe I said that." He mused.

I turned slightly so my chest was resting on the wolf's and I was looking down at him. "Paulie, you know how much I love you, right?" I asked him, and he replied with a small, though adorable smile and a nod. "Last night was the first time you didn't reject me. It wasn't a yes, but like you said, it wasn't a no. It has given me so much hope. I know you probably don't want to hear this, but I honestly can't picture myself with any man but you."

"I'm a very selfish wolf, Ryan." He told me.

I cocked my head slightly and gazed into his soulful brown eyes. "Why do you say that?"

"I don't want you to picture yourself with anybody but me."


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

It was Valentines Day and like the total single losers my friends and I all are we stuck together, however, we were up one – Paul. It was kind of like living in a dream. A good dream, not a perfect dream, but a dream nonetheless. The wolf was one of us now – a best friend, and wherever James, Emily and I were, he was sure to be there too.

Emily had been an amazing pack sister and had taken to Paul like a fish to water. She was her doting handsy self and never failed to treat the wolf any differently than she treated me or James. Later she confessed to me that she always wanted a big brother and she finally felt like she had one. Paul's sweet to her, it's cute really, he treats the girl like a lady and it never fails to make James burst into laughter.

I can see it though, in Emily's eyes that is, she adores the chivalry. Each and every time it makes her blush when he opens a door for her or pulls out a chair at the dinner table where she's to sit. Yeah, Emily may dress like a boy, but she is all girl on the inside. Also, she threw any thoughts of Riley right out the window the second she heard what had been done to Paul along with finding out about his past. He'd given me permission to speak to her about his prison stay since on the rare occasion a flash of what happened to him might enter our minds when in wolf form together. He figured she should be warned.

Speaking of the royal leech, Riley had been a downright mess. As it turns out, he's a junkie, or more specifically a blood junkie. It's rare, but it can happen when a vampire has the same willing source to feed from constantly. After only a day or two without Eric, Riley was quite out of his mind with thirst for him. He begged, pleaded, and as much as a vampire could he cried for his brother to find the wolf and bring him back home so he could drink.

In his delirium Riley admitted that he'd been feeding from Eric upwards of four times a day. Blew my mind really, and this had been going on for years apparently. Basically, in nutshell, that's a blood junkie – feeding just for the pleasure of feeding, and without his proper meals he spent most of his days hunched over a toilet vomiting every bit of blood my dad would force into him.

I did feel sorry for my dad at first. He was literally watching his baby brother deteriorate right before his eyes, and I couldn't help the tears that would flood my eyes when he was stuck restraining Riley when he was going through a fit. The vampires screams for Eric were bloodcurdling and could be heard from one end of the palace right to the very other. However after a little over a week of this my dad told Riley that Eric was dead. My dad didn't know then and still doesn't know now that Eric is alive and well... well, as well as a wolf could be with only one hand and a collar, but that's not the point. Point is my dad told Riley the guards had found the wolf's dead body.

I really disliked the vampire for what he did to Paul, even though Paul had explained to me that Riley had told the wolves numerous times what they were doing was wrong and that they should stop, though in my eyes he was just as much a participant as the rest – he stayed there and let it happen. However, to see the look on my uncle's face when my dad told him his drug, alpha, best friend, and presumably lover was dead, was a look I never wanted to see. I know my dad was just trying to help Riley get over Eric, but all he did was steal his hope that someone he loved so damn much was okay. Their relationship was far from healthy, but nobody could deny the two loved each other. I lost some respect for my dad for lying to his brother like that.

After that Riley only got worse and I never even knew a vampire could look so sick. His lips were as pale as his face, his eyes blacker than blackest night sky, and the dark circled skin that rounded them made him look like death itself. He vehemently refused to drink and after over two weeks of this my dad pinned the weak vampire to the floor while my father slit his wrist and pressed the wound to the vampire's lips. I don't know how he did it, but he spat any and all of it out of his mouth while shrieking so loud I thought my ears might bleed.

Yeah, I disliked the vampire, but it was sad, very sad, we all knew what he was doing. Killing himself by starvation. It'd take him a long time, but one day he'd get so weak, so tired, his eyes would close and for the first time as a vampire he'd fall asleep, yet never to wake again. Needless to say my dad was not dealing well with this.

Eric asks James about Riley daily. Obviously the human lies to his brother day after day. Riley is doing well, he's looking forward to this, he's going to be doing that, he talks about you, he misses you, and so on and so forth. I don't think anybody really had that guts to tell him Riley laid still and silent in their room every single day just wishing to die, and I had no doubt in my mind that the stupid leech wanted to die just to be with his Eric.

I think I'd have long since broken and told Riley the truth if it wasn't for the fact that my dad was always with him. My dad, believe it or not, can be unreasonable. I didn't know if he'd go after Eric for 'making' Riley like this if he knew the wolf was with James. So, I said nothing.

Anyway, I felt entirely helpless and no matter how much I didn't like Riley I still didn't want him to die, but today, I wouldn't think about it because it was valentines days, _woot_, and I was lazing around doing a whole bunch of nothing at the beach with my three friends. I sat between Emily's legs who was sitting up on a washed up log. I was comfortably in the sand as she idly put teensy braids in my hair that I just _knew _I'd forget about and when I went to brush my hair there would be hell to pay, because not only did I rip out a ton of my hair, I'd have turned a bunch of those bitty braids into a tangled mess of knots. It was worth it, though. I liked the feel of her fingers in my hair.

Paul sat to the right of me with James on his other side chatting to him. "But, yeah, I totally saw the leech there, but he called me 'flesh bag' one to many times. So, you know, I did what any logical and rational person would do – hit him with the motherfucking wrecking ball!" He joyfully exclaimed.

"Oh, god, Jamie, that's awesome!" Paul laughed, which was a little something the human was really good at making him do. "And you didn't even get fired?"

"Of course I did!" He guffawed. James looked over at me and gave me a grin before turning his attention back to Paul. "But, the next morning my boss called and said he wasn't paying my lazy ass to show up late for work. Apparently a little birdie prince told his daddy that his friend got fired and he didn't approve. His majesty himself went down to the construction site and spoke with my boss. So, in the end, the leech got fired, I got my job back, and nobody fucks with me anymore because apparently I'm bat shit insane and the king's got my back." The two chuckled and when they quieted James gave the wolf a serious look. "Speaking of people who are bat shit insane..."

Emily perked behind me. "Oh, who, Paul?" She said.

The wolf furrowed his brows, and leaned his head back to look up at her. "I resent that, you know."

The girl shrugged, smiled, and went back to my hair. "Yeah, but you love me anyway." She quietly tittered to herself.

"Paulie, I really like how good your room is looking." I put in. The wolf's eyes met mine and he gave me a soft smile as he plucked my hand from my lap and brought it to his.

"Yeah," James said with a nod. "How many labels do you think you have left?"

Paul turned his head to look at the human. "Many, but I'm getting there. After all the labels are gone we're tackling my closet, right?"

"Yep, because nobody but serial killers sort their blue jeans the way you do. Also, while you were out for a run one night with Emily and Ryan I took it upon myself to snoop through your drawers, and, buddy, why? Is it really necessary to iron, fold, and sort your underwear by color?"

Paul shook his head at the human. "Privacy, James. I'd prefer if I had some of it."

James gave the wolf a cheeky grin. "Paul, crazies don't get privacy. I had to make sure you weren't hoarding chicken bones or bestiality porn, or, you know, something equally nuts." He explained.

The wolf quirked a brow. "Bestiality porn, really?! Tell me I don't look like the type." He chortled

James cocked his head as he gazed at the wolf. "Mmm, maybe a little." He mused.

Paul punched him in the shoulder. "Fuck you!" He laughed.

The human's eyes widened as he whimpered slightly while he grabbed at his shoulder. "Paul, you shit! I'm delicate, like a little flower, remember? We've gone over this a million times."

Paul chuckled. "Sorry, I keep forgetting you're nothing but a _flesh bag_." He teased.

"Whatever, you stupid dog. Kiss it better." James demanded as he pointed to the spot Paul's lips were to go.

"If you think my lips are going anywhere near you, then, James, you are the crazy one."

James smirked. "Fine, I'll just get your imprint to kiss it better. Ryan!" He bellowed.

"Yeah, yeah." I grumbled and Emily sighed as her hands left my hair. I leaned over Paul's lap and pressed my lips to the human's shoulder. "Better?" I queried.

"I don't know, try again." He grinned.

I shook my head and smiled. "In your dreams." I teased as I sat back in my spot.

James gave me a lecherous little smile. "You mean wet dreams." He corrected.

Paul gave the human a wide eyed unamused stare. "That's _disgusting_."

James shook his head. "No, Paul, I assure you they're far from it. Quite blissfully fantastic actually." He paused and poked the wolf in the shoulder. "I had one about you once." He said. Paul gasped in reaction and his face visibly greened. "Kidding, and thanks. Nice to know I appall you that much."

Ignoring the human Paul looked to me and squeezed my hand. "Can I steal you for awhile?" He asked me. I nodded and we stood while I told the two we'd be back in a little while. Emily smiled and shifted over to James. She pulled the hair tie from his hair and went to work to keep her fingers busy. "You're gonna look like such a _pretty_ _girl_ when I'm done with you." She cooed to the boy as we walked away.

As we strolled down the beach Paul kept his hand firmly in mine and once out of sight from the two the wolf found a log for us to sit on. "I have something for you." He told me with pink cheeks as he let go of my hand and placed his own in his coat pocket. "You don't have to keep it if you don't like it. I just thought you might, but if you don't, then don't feel bad."

"Paul," I chuckled. "Whatever you give me I'll love."

"I don't know... Maybe." He shook his head a little and smiled at me as pulled out a velvety navy blue ring box.

Before he could even open the thing I threw myself at him, tackling him over the back of the log, while planting sloppy kisses on his face and causing him to laugh out loud. "Yes!" I bellowed in exclamation. "Of course I'll marry you!" I playfully jested.

Paul grinned up at me with his head in the sand and his legs still up on the log while I sat straddling his waist. He put the box on his chest and opened up to reveal a golden wedding ring attached to a golden chain long enough for a wolf to phase and the ring to be tucked safely in the fur of its neck. "It was my mother's, it wasn't given to her by my father or anything. It's been handed down from mother to daughter for many generations. To my mother's dismay she got a son, but she did talk about giving it to me so the girl I married could wear it and then one day my future daughter could have it." He paused and let out a huff of breath, his grin completely faded. "I think we both know that's never going to happen, but, Ryan, you're my imprint and you're the only person in the world I'd let have it."

"Paulie..." I said in an absolute loss for words. His smile returned as he lifted the ring and its chain from the box and held it up for me. I bent and tilted my head for him to put it around my neck. I sat back up and he stretched his arms and tucked his hand into my hair to lift the strands from underneath the chain so the metal rested against my skin. I brought my fingers to the pretty golden ring that was clearly made for a woman's ring finger. Yet, as I brought it closer to my eyes I saw that it had an engraving. "It says Lahote inside it. I thought you said it was from your mother's side."

His smile turned sweet. "It is, I had that put there the other day. Angel, all I want is to make you the happiest imprint there is, yet I'm so scared I can never give you the things you dream of. Since you were the tiniest and cutest little puppy you've dreamt of marrying me, and, well, I don't know how to give that to you. I'm really trying here, though. I know it's not that same thing by any means, but at least you've got the wedding ring, and you've even got my name." He explained to me.

I dropped the ring and pressed my hands to my mouth. "Paul, you stupid dog." I whined.

"What?" He chuckled.

"You're going to make me cry." With my words he placed his hands on my sides and guided me down so he could wrap me up in his arms. I clung onto him like he was the most precious thing in the whole wide universe as I nuzzled my face into the crook of his neck. I found my emotions getting the better of me and I brushed my lips against the smooth copper skin of his neck. The wolf beneath me shivered and squeezed my hoodie in his hands. I went for a second kiss, though let my lips linger for longer this time and slowly, very slowly his hands slid down to my hips.

I took that as my cue to continue and I lightly dusted my lips along the length of his neck, and in response the wolf turned his face away from me to bare his neck completely as his hands slipped under my hoodie along with the t-shirt I wore beneath it. His warm blissful palms rested on the skin of my lower back and I trailed kisses up to his ear where I gently sucked his lobe into my mouth to roll my tongue over it.

Paul dug his fingertips in my skin as he let out an erotic little groan. Knowing I shouldn't dare push him, I released his ear to pull my head back to look at his handsome face. He turned his head forward and met my eyes; I gave him a goofy and toothy grin. "Happy Valentine's Day, baby cakes." I laughed.

The wolf crinkled his nose. "Baby cakes?" He grumbled in question.

"Yeah," I nodded. "Baby cakes." Catching the gorgeous wolf off guard I planted a kiss right on his lips, though pulled away only a few mere seconds later as I jumped to my feet. "You're lips feel like what heaven's made of!" I hollered over my shoulder as I took off down the beach.

Paul sprung to his feet and sprinted after me. "You're nothing but trouble!" He called after me.

I smiled and laughed. "Yeah, but you wouldn't love me any other way!" Feeling exceptionally excitable I called my wolf and seconds later my clothes were bits in the sand and my white fluffy tail was wagging joyfully behind me while I ran.

Hearing the familiar sound of tearing clothes I knew Paul had followed suit and right as I took a glimpse behind me a huge silvery-grey wolf leapt at me and knocked me to the ground. I took my tumble and rolled onto my stomach to straighten my hind legs to eye Paul in a playful crouch.

_'You're adorable, you know that, right?'_ He queried with his tail slowly waving in the air at his end.

I gave Paul my best wolfish grin as my pink tongue lolled out of the side of my mouth. _'If any other wolf called me that it'd be my alpha duty to kill them.' _I growled. Abruptly I lunged at the wolf, barrelling myself right into him and with heavy exhale of breath and a slight thump of the sand he landed on his side.

With a giddy bark Paul rolled onto his back, front paws bent cutely at his chest. _'You're tough for such a little thing.' _He teased. Without a care in the world for physical boundaries I stepped over him, a front paw and back paw on either side of him, and laid atop of him. _'You're so beautiful.' _He added.

I licked at his muzzle to give him wet doggy kisses. _'I thought I was adorable.' _I mumbled in my mind as I gave him even more kisses.

_'You're adorably beautiful.' _He contentedly sighed inwardly as he purred outwardly.

I paused my kisses and gazed down at the wolf, I found myself stunned. _'You seem happy... I can feel it. You _are_ happy.'_

Paul nodded his furry head. _'Sometime it feels like I fell asleep when I was just a fourteen-year-old pup and everything since has been a terrible nightmare. For over a decade I've been praying to wake up, but right now, in this very moment, I can't help but think to myself that if this is real, I never want it to end and I don't want my eyes to ever open.' _ The wolf lifted his head from the sand and gave me few tender licks on my white cheek. _'I guess that's just a roundabout way of saying that this love thing does wonders for a broken mind and soul.'_

_ 'Paulie?'_

_ 'Angel?'_

I pressed the side of my snout on the tip of his nose just to feel him breathe. _'Do you love me or are you _in_ love with me?'_

_ 'Ryan, you know who I love? Edward, but there's not a chance in hell that I'd ever let him sit on me and lick my face.'_


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

Time as it always seems to do, passed. April showers had brought May flowers and summer was well on its way. My uncle Riley was no better, and last night I made the mistake of walking into my uncle's room without permission – I knew if I knocked my dad would yell for me to go away. I entered and saw my dad soothingly running his hands through the vampires hair who was lying shirtless on his stomach, head turned toward me. His skin looked waxy and had a deathly bluish tint to it. He stared at me with wide black eyes that had no visible whiteness to them while his discoloured lips were parted and had a heavy stream of venom flowing past them to a thick towel tucked under his cheek and chin to soak the wetness up.

My heart collapsed seeing my uncle like that and even though I loved Paul more than the air I breathe I couldn't find it in my heart to dislike Riley, not like this at least. I felt sorry for him, real sorry and I decided to let bygones be bygones. This man, who hardly looked fifteen, was my family and I couldn't with a conscience like mine let him hurt himself any longer. With barely a spare thought I let the words slip from my lips. "Eric is alive. He's at James' flat." The look that came upon my dad's face was indescribable. I was expecting to see spiteful eyes and a scowl so angry it stabbed like daggers, yet, instead, he looked like a starving homeless man that had miraculously struck gold.

It was how Riley reacted that struck me deep inside. Slowly, very slowly, he moved onto his side and his knees rose to his body while his hands went to his face. My uncle sobbed – the vampire very literally sobbed. I don't know if it was because he was incredibly ill, a fluke, or that he was so impassioned, but the vampire cried large tears as he clung onto himself while in the tight ball he made of himself.

The second it broke dawn my dad had guards banging on James' door to collect Eric to bring him _home_. Paul, a little disgruntled, though understanding, didn't want to be in the building for the reunion. I suggested we go for a run, yet the wolf suggested that he take me out to breakfast. I knew my parents would kill me if I ate out, because, you know, there could be razor blades in my pancakes or poison in my syrup. Anyway, I immediately said yes, razor blades in my pancakes be damned, since in my mind this breakfast thing sounded an awful lot like a date. Plus, even though Paul had nearly been back a year we still hadn't even left the palace together beyond the forest and the beach. Then again, there was a pretty good reason why I avoided that entirely...

Paul drove and as he parked the car at a diner I always wanted to go to, that very reason began to make me feel very anxious. The last thing I wanted was for someone to call his alpha a 'faggot' or worse in the middle of a meal. I couldn't say who that would be more mortifying for, him or me. What if he felt ashamed to have such a weak alpha, and what if he finally realized just the kind of freak I really am?

The wolf unhooked his seat belt and turned to me with just a hint of a smile. He lifted his right hand and brushed his copper fingers down the side of my hair. "Ready?" He queried, and I gave a nod of my head in reply. Much to my dismay he removed his hand from my hair and we exited the car. I rounded the car and walked at Paul's side toward the neon lighted diner. I don't why I wanted to go here so badly, maybe it had something to do with all the movies I've watched and how families seemed to like these sorts of places. I thought it was always cute – the kids chugging away on milkshakes until they got brain freeze while their parents chewed on ketchup lathered fries. Seems mundane I suppose, but it's an experience I've never had and for that reason alone it sounded so exciting and special.

Paul opened the door for me to walk in, yet I would have really preferred him to go in first and lead the way. I know an alpha shouldn't think like that, but public places really did make feel uneasy – scrap that, the people at public places made me feel uneasy. I kept my eyes firmly to the floor as I entered the building to avoid faces and eye contact from strangers. The floor did amuse me, though. It was black and white, like a checker board, and just like in the movies. I enjoyed that.

A tray of beverages hitting the tile floor startled me enough to make me almost jump out of my skin. The glasses smashed and a stunned vampire gazed at me for a moment or two before fervently apologizing and crouching to clean up the mess he accidentally made. I went to him and crouched as well. He appeared young and was probably around sixteen when he was bitten – how long he's been sixteen, well, that's anybody's guess. His hair was a dark, dark chestnut and hung in a way that he'd have to flick his head slightly every so often to get his bangs out of his eyes.

I reached to a large shard of glass to help him clean since it was my presence that caused him to drop the drinks. Our fingers touched seeing as the vampire had reached for the same piece, and this time he was the one who startled. "My prince, you shouldn't bother yourself with this." He told me in quite the melodic and appealing tone as he snatched up that particular piece of glass and placed it on the grey tray.

I smiled at him and got to helping. "It's no bother. I'm sorry for scaring you." I apologized.

The vampire gasped and froze where he crouched. "Your highness," He breathed. "You shouldn't apologize to me." I lifted my gaze from the puddles and glass to meet his gaze. The second his golden eyes met mine my breath caught in my chest and I felt the world fall away from me. I saw nothing but him and I felt nothing but him. I swallowed, my heart pounding and quite clearly only for the boy.

In case you haven't guessed it yet, I'm totally lying. Imagine that, though. What a horrible first date that would be for Paul and me – he takes me out and I imprint on some stranger! That'd suck. But, seriously, the guy was gorgeous. His eyes were like molten gold, his skin so milky and smooth I wanted to reach out and touch it, soft pink lips, and a piercing on his left eyebrow which had two little black beads. One thing I couldn't help but notice about him was the thin line of black eyeliner he wore, yet to my utter surprise it didn't look stupid, it suited him. He had a bit of a dark look going on, though it only made him all the more beautiful.

He had a boyish stature and in a way he was soft looking. He wasn't girly by any means, he just, I don't know, seemed soft – a gentle soul with a face to match. Again I smiled at him. "Don't worry about it, I like helping and I don't mind apologizing." I told him as Paul came beside me to lend a hand himself. The three of us quickly got the glass cleaned up, then while scurrying away the vampire mumbled something about getting a mop.

I picked a squishy red leather booth in the middle of the diner by a window. I poked at the little packages of sugar and sweetener at the end of the table and couldn't fight the grin off my face, these were in the movies too. "Angel," I heard Paul say which tore me from my reverie. I looked into his soulful brown eyes while he reached across the table to place a hand on top one of my own. "I really like this... you know, being out with you."

I was certain my cheeks turned pink while my smile sweetened. "Seriously?" I sheepishly questioned.

He nodded and gave my hand a squeeze. "Seriously." With that said the same vampire that spilt the drinks came to our table and placed a menu in front of each of us. Yet, I couldn't help but revel in the fact that Paul made no move to remove his hand from atop of mine. It made me feel so damn special. It made me feel like he didn't care that his alpha was weak or that his imprint was a boy.

The vampire introduced himself as our server Charlie and asked what we'd like to drink. I ordered a hot chocolate, Paul just a water and when he came back with our beverages I requested a Belgian waffle with strawberries and extra whipped cream – I couldn't help myself. Paul ordered eggs, sunny side up, with sausages, bacon, and potatoes.

We chatted idly with his hand never leaving mine while we waited for our food. Every once in awhile I got the urge to bring up the idea of therapy since I still hadn't gotten the guts to talk to him about it. I knew it wasn't really first date conversation material, though I knew it needed to be done, I just hated that I had to be the one to do it. However, I kind of thought maybe a public place was a good place to mention it. I figured he wouldn't make a scene over it like he might at home.

Paul had been doing good, though, very good actually. His room was completely clear of labels, his closet was reorganized and I hadn't seen him tear up once in last month or so. I kind of had to figure that James, Emily and me kept him too busy to be torturing himself over his past. The only time I was uncertain what he was up to was when I headed to bed and the early mornings. For the most part I could feel if he was upset in his room, though I never knew what about and I never went to console him, mainly because I didn't want to treat the wolf like a child. He was grown man and I knew if he wanted me he'd come to me.

I don't know why, but each and every time he'd knock on my door in the middle of the night made me feel a little more loved by him. It didn't happen very often, but when it did I think it meant the world to the both of us. He would snuggle up all warm in bed with me and before he got to talking about what was bothering him he'd tell me who he wanted to talk to, his alpha or his imprint. When he wanted his imprint that meant he just needed me to listen and hold him close, whereas when he wanted his alpha that meant he needed my opinion and advice.

I couldn't help but fall even more hopelessly in love with the wolf, especially since our relationship had gotten to the point where it was no longer a one way street. As much as he took he gave, and every so often I'd find myself sneaking up to his room in the middle of the night teary eyed and depressed over one thing or another. He'd always brush away my tears, kiss my cheeks, soothingly run his hands through my hair, and all while holding me so tight to him I could have sworn we almost became one a time or two. He never failed to listen to me, he never failed at making me feel better, and he never failed to make me feel like the most loved boy in the whole entire world.

However, it was the nights he'd knock on my door for no other reason than wanting to spend the night with me that got my heart all fluttery and my stomach bursting with butterflies. Those nights were some of the hardest, though just as equally the best. Those nights he was overly affectionate, overly hands on, and always had me aching with need for him. He'd press kisses to my neck, run his lips along my jawline and even nibble on my ears. His hands adored exploring my upper body, although I'm positive I adored it more.

I was certain he knew what it did to me, he's said as much. Also, it wasn't like he came to my door one night and started doing this, no, it's taken him months to get this far. What I once would have considered teasing is now what I consider to be his way of taking things slow... very, _very, _slow. The only thing that drove me nuts about the situation was when I could feel his erection that was just as hard as mine pressed against me while his hands explored my upper body and his lips tasted my skin. I don't think it's even possible to describe just how much I yearned to see it, or better yet, touch it. Sadly, he specifically said to ignore it and that he wished it wouldn't happen. Of course I would never over step the boundaries he's set for me, though that didn't mean I didn't think about it... a lot.

When I say a lot, I mean daily, like multiple times daily. I'm positive I really am my father's son, because my libido just won't quit. Sex is just one of those things that is constantly at the back of my mind. For instance I could be having dinner and think to myself, 'Boy these garlic mashed potatoes taste great. Know what else would be great? Sex with Paul'. Pretty much any situation I'm in can have me thinking sexual thoughts about the wolf and whenever he's near I know he knows because he gives me that look, a knowing look, just like the one he's giving me now.

Paul offered up a cute smirk while he pulled my hand a little closer to him so he could comfortably rest his other one on it. "What are you thinking about?" He queried.

I gave him an innocent little shrug. "Stuff."

"Me?"

I smiled. "Maybe." I chimed.

His smirk turned mischievous. "And in these thoughts am I naked?" He playfully questioned.

My cheeks tinted pink and I bit my tongue to stop myself from giggling awkwardly. "I seem to think that you're body isn't meant for clothes." And my penis agrees... and rather aggressively so. As inconspicuously as possible I used my spare hand to adjust my jeans.

Paul's smirk turned into a silly smile and he kept his beautiful brown eyes locked with mine. "Excited?"

My eyes widened with his question and my face felt hot with embarrassment. "Very." I confessed, and boy was it ever the truth. In a perfect world he'd be dragging me off to the bathroom to have his way with me right about now – I quite like the thought of that. "Paulie, have you ever thought about me, you know, naked?"

His nose crinkled, yet not with disgust but something else entirely. "Once or twice when we were in bed together, but as a twenty-nine year old wolf I don't know how I feel about admitting to thinking like that about my sixteen year old prince."

I gave Paul a toothy grin. "If you want I could just get naked myself, that way you wouldn't have to think about it at all." I flirted, and jested, well, that is, unless he wanted me to get naked. In that case my clothes would be flying off.

"Here? I don't think that's such a good idea, your highness." He joked along with me.

I looked around the diner and then back to the wolf. "It's not too busy, and, hey, you never know, maybe they'd enjoy seeing me naked." Or not.

Paul gave me a sweet little smirk as he lifted my hand to give my knuckles a kiss. "Yeah, but then I'd have to kill them."

I rolled my eyes and chuckled right as Charlie dropped off our food, asking if everything was adequate – it was and he was once again gone. Paul let go of my hand to dig into his food, though right as his fork and knife was just about to reach his meal I pulled the plate away from him and stuck mine in its place. "Do your powers." I instructed.

He furrowed his dark brows. "What on earth are you talking about?" He laughed. Have I ever mentioned how much I love it when he laughs?

"Are there razor blades in my waffle? Rat poison? Feces?"

"Feces?!" He exclaimed with his laughter getting louder. "I'm sure it's fine."

I quirked a brow unimpressed. "You're sure or you know?" I asked.

With a heavy sigh he stuck his fork in the whipped cream and fruit covered waffle and used his knife to cut himself a piece. He popped it in his mouth, chewed, and swallowed all with a blank expression on his face. "Oh yeah, there's feces in there alright." He pushed his plate of eggs, sausages and potatoes in front of me. "I'll sacrifice myself and eat the waffle for the greater good of the kingdom." He gave me a cutesy grin and a shrug while taking another bite of _my_ breakfast. "Odd how it tastes _sooo_ good." He said with a full mouth.

With a pouted bottom lip I snatched my plate back and slid his across the table. "Fine I get it. You think I'm stupid, but you know how my parents are with food."

The wolf nodded as he took a few bites of his hash browns. This time swallowing before talking. "Yeah, because of the cyanide incident. You'll never know just how sick it made feel to know Jared poisoned your food."

"You mean my father's."

Paul again nodded. "Yeah, him too, but in comparison he can go ahead and drop dead. Just... knowing your imprint was a spoonful away from death is a feeling I wish on no wolf. That's the first time I experienced just how strong our connection was, of course I didn't know that at the time, but I didn't let you eat your food and I thank fucking god for that every day." He seemingly explained.

I shook my head with pinched eyebrows. "Wait, what? My breakfast had been poisoned too?" I questioned.

"You really didn't know that?"

"No." I breathed.

"But you know that I killed Jared, right?"

My eyes widened, and so much so I'm sure they nearly fell from their sockets. "What?" I gasped.

For the third time the wolf nodded. "He tried to murder my imprint _and _my king, so I took care of him myself, well, mostly because he tried to murder you, actually all because he tried to murder you. I probably shouldn't mention this, but back then, mainly when his majesty was still a prince, I thought about killing him a time or two... or all the time. I know I would have inevitably snapped and done it too if you hadn't come along." His eyes fell from mine and to his plate. "That's all I really have to say about that."

I frowned sadly as I gazed at the wolf. "How do you really feel about my father now, Paulie?" I inquired.

His eyes rose with heated little glare in them. "Every single time I look at him I don't see a king, I still see the ugly prince he once was. I meet his gaze and it feels like I'm looking into the same soulless eyes. I hear his voice and it sounds like the exact same one that had called me name after name, and even all these years later I still have to make a conscience effort not to flinch when he touches me because I was at one point so used to him hitting me.

"Before he bought his grace it was bad, really bad. I doubt your dad even knows the half of it. I've never had any intention to tell him, and I'm pretty certain your father never did or would. I'm not going to go into specifics, but the things he's put me through makes what Eric and Riley did seem tame. Around the time your dad came into the picture I did and said a lot of things to piss his highness off. It made me feel in control since it'd be my fault when he hit me or send me to purgatory, plus that way I'd never be left wondering what I did to deserve his anger.

"What little his grace was witness to was merely a taste of how it really was around the palace. I don't know how Edward rationalized it all. I mean, come on, your father practically kept you locked away in your room for the first five years of your fucking life while he flip-flopped between screwing chicks and guys. Obviously the pack never knew about the guys, we had our suspicions, though. But, the girls, it was disgusting, he'd fuck them anywhere. It wasn't uncommon to round a corner in the palace and see the prince with his pants around his ankles and some random girl with her skirt hiked up around her waist, legs around him, and back against the wall."

I swallowed. I was lost for any kind of words that really pertained to any of that. "Why did you ever agree to become a part of my father's pack?" I queried.

The wolf sighed and the atmosphere become quite melancholy. "My dad... No alpha had ever shown any kind of interest in me before the prince, and at the time there was no better honour than to be part of the prince's pack. I didn't want to join at all, but with enough blackmail on my dad's part I caved and submitted to his highness. I used to think it was one of the worst decisions I had ever made, but now, many years later, I'm not so sure.

"Regardless of whether I joined your father's pack or not I still would have gotten a vampire to bite my mom. If I didn't have Jacob as an alpha I would have been stuck in that prison for life, yet because of him I was only in there for six months. Then there's you. I used hate myself that I could do something like this to you, imprint I mean, but after coming home and now that I'm here with you, I just, I don't know, you truly make me happy, Ryan, and I really can't be bothered to hate myself for loving you so much because I just can't help it."

I smiled so sadly at the wolf, his last words were sweet, but he's been through more than I could even begin to fathom and I knew my presence wasn't enough to ever get him perfectly well... if that is even possible. "Paulie, I want you to see someone, like a therapist or something." I softly told him.

His brows knitted together as he shook his head looking taken aback. "What? Where did that come from? You're kidding, right?"

"No, Paulie, I'm not."

A look of anger spread over his features. "The last thing I need is to talk to some stranger that doesn't give a flying fuck about me or what I have to say. I don't need to pay someone to ask me how I feel. I know how I feel, and I feel like fucking shit!" He spat as she shoved his plate away from himself. "Except for when I'm with you, all I need is _you_."

"This isn't a debate. What I said, it's an order." I hated giving orders, yet I'm his alpha now and it's my job to take care of him properly. I know he wouldn't like me for it and that it might even set us back a bit, but it's necessary and hopefully, if I'm lucky, he'll thank me one day for it.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter Twenty**

Summer was here and with that came my seventeenth birthday. A few days have passed since and as it turns out seventeen feels exactly the same as sixteen. It had just gotten dark and I was currently lazing on my bed with a certain wolf on my mind... a certain naked and horny wolf, also, as it turns out anything is possible in this mind of mine. I closed my eyes and slipped my hand under the waist of my pajama pants while I let my imagination run wild.

I pictured my hands in Paul's cropped hair, his lips and tongue on my abdomen as he undid my pants. He'd slip them down my legs to remove them completely, trailing his mouth lower as he did so. Slowly, painfully, teasingly he'd press his hands to my shins and work his way up. I'd be hard, aching, leaking, and needy for him...

"Ryan!" My sister bellowed as I heard the sound of my door slamming against the wall as she entered. My eyes immediately popped open as I ripped my hand from my pants, sat up, and hurriedly put a pillow on my lap. Her pale nose crinkled as she walked to the edge of my bed where I sat. "You were touching your penis."

I gave her an incredulous look as I fervently shook my head at my four-year-old sister that appeared to be at least ten, maybe even eleven. "I was not." I insisted.

She rolled her pretty green eyes at me. "Were to!"

"Was not!"

"Whatever," She said with a huff of breath while she hopped up on the bed to sit beside me. "I've come on important royal business. You know how it's a princess's and a prince's job to know everything that's going on in the kingdom?" I nodded just to appease her. I hardly kept up to date. "Well, I was being an eavesdropping snoop and spying on dad. This is what I saw..." She explained, and she pressed a hand to my forearm that rested on a pillow.

Immediately images and sounds fluttered to my mind – I closed my eyes to better concentrate on what she was showing me. I could see the back of my dad's head and the front of Paul's face. They were sitting at the island in the kitchen while the wolf sipped on a beer. "Hey, Paul, I've been meaning to ask you. How's therapy going?" My dad queried.

The wolf rolled his eyes as he let out a huff of breath. "A waste of my fucking time. Three times a week Ryan has me going, three goddamn times a week! The broad doesn't even try to get me to talk anymore. She just calls me in, I take a seat on the sofa, grab a magazine and read while she does paper work at her desk until my time is up."

My dad ran a hand down the back of his hair. "Wow, so that's what I'm paying over one hundred bucks an hour for?" He deadpanned.

Paul shrugged and smirked at the vampire. "You insisted."

Dad nodded with a chuckle. "Well, perhaps I should book longer sessions for you. Maybe you'll get so bored you'll crack and spill your guts to the lady."

"I wouldn't count on it. There are a lot of magazines there."

"Paul, I'm king," My dad condescendingly stated. "I could strip her office bare so it's just you, her, and two chairs"

"I'd face the other way."

Again my dad chuckled. "I'd have the guards hold you in place then." He threatened.

This time the wolf chuckled along with him. "Doesn't sound very confidential."

"Fine." My dad sighed. "Have it your way. I'll just have your ankles and wrists cuffed to the chair which will be conveniently bolted to the floor."

Paul quirked a brow. "You do enjoy this being king thing don't you?" He questioned.

"You know I do. It's kind of like being God, but, you know, better, since I'm real and actually get shit done."

The wolf laughed at this. "Christ, Ed, how Jake's managed to keep his ego in check, yet you've grown one the size of the pacific I'll never know. Do you even remember that once upon a time you were a timid little leech that was afraid of his own shadow?" He asked.

"Yes, back in the day when you made up stories about sleeping with girls and feigned arrogance seeped through your pores."

With a nod Paul once again rolled his eyes. "Yeah, can't say I miss those days. How the guys ever fell for any of my stories is beyond me. To this day I've never seen a chick fully nude and if I go to the grave without such a _luxury_ I won't be disappointed."

"Mhmm." My dad hummed. "Says the wolf that tells me he's not gay."

The wolf gave him a funny look. "I'm not gay." He insisted.

"I think you are."

"I think you don't know what you're talking about."

"Jesus, Paul," My dad breathed. "What the hell are you so afraid of? Do you still believe what you said to Jake all those years ago? That two guys can't be mates, that there's no such thing as gay, that, sure, they can fuck, but they can't love?"

The wolf looked away from my dad as he let out a huff of breath. "I love Ryan with every fibre of my being," He gazed back at my dad with an expression that made him appear to be uncomfortable. "And I know that love is far from platonic. I still don't believe men can be mates. Mates produce offspring. I have no clue whatsoever as to why fate would ever try to pair me with Ryan and I really don't know about this whole gay thing because whatever my imprint has between his legs has nothing to do with how I feel for him. For all care there could nothing there or something no one has ever seen before. I... just, ugh, fuck..." Paul paused to scrub his hands across his face. "Before I left for those five years I was so sure, and so damn adamant that _nothing _was possible between Ryan and me. But after only a year of being home I feel like I'm stuck at a crossroad, half of me wants to go one way and the rest wants to go the complete opposite direction."

My dad gave the wolf a loud slap on the shoulder. "Well, Paul, maybe that's something you could speak with your therapist about." He playfully suggested and the wolf scowled in irritation. "Seriously, though, you're doing good, even looking good, you don't look so depressed. It's nice to see you smiling so much, but hurt my boy-"

"And you'll hang me on the wall down in purgatory and flay my skin yourself."

My dad nodded as he let out an apprehensive breath. "Speaking of purgatory, we need to talk about that list of yours. It's complete, Paul. I found Aro." He informed him.

The wolf's face instantly paled. "When does he get here?" He queried in a raspy murmur.

"He's already here."

Silently the wolf stood from his seat and abruptly he bent, grabbing the legs of the stool he was sitting on. He took two long strides away from my dad and with a red enraged face and a tortured holler he destroyed the stool as he smashed it against the front of the stainless steel refrigerator. Just as quickly he latched his copper hands onto the handle of the fridge and tore it right from the hinges – the force of it causing the fridge to topple onto its front.

With another shout the wolf hurled the large fridge door across the kitchen and straight into the cupboards above the counter. The door completely obliterated the wood and all the dishware inside, then with a loud crash the metal, debris, and broken dishes came falling down.

With Paul's chest heaving, furious tears streaming his cheeks, and with his muscles and hands clenched the kitchen flooded with guards, though my dad, who calmly stood from his stool, instantly demanded that they leave. When the room was clear of people my dad went to Paul and pulled the trembling wolf into his arms.

Paul roughly gripped the back of my dad's dress shirt as he rested a tear stained cheek on his shoulder while the vampire soothingly ran his fingers through the wolf's hair. "You're going to kill the leech who used your body for the first time, just like you killed all the others who hurt you. Then, finally, you're going to put _all _of this behind you."

Rachel took her hand from my knee and my mind went eerily blank. I opened my eyes and to see my hands squeezing the pillow on my lap so tight that my fingers had turned white. I pushed the pillow to the side, stood to my feet, and made my way to the door. "Are you going to your wolf now?" Rachel asked as she followed along.

I shook my head no as I opened the door. "In fifteen minutes tell Paul to go to Aro, send father as well." I instructed.

My sister sighed. "You're going to do something stupid, aren't you, Ryan?" She questioned.

Again I nodded. "Very stupid."

* * *

My bare feet slapped against the chilly concrete floor down in purgatory. I was following two guards who were taking me to this 'Aro'. What I planned on doing once I got to him, well, I wasn't so sure myself. All I knew is that I wanted to do something drastic and for both my father and Paul to see. The alpha inside me was howling loud and clear that it was my duty to put this leech in his place, but how little old me could do something like that I wasn't so certain.

Cell after empty cell past me by and after reaching a dead end there was one last cell tucked away in a corner, bare, and with nothing but a leech standing in the middle of it. He appeared older than the typical vampire – he had to have at least been pushing forty when he was bitten. His hair was jet black with the exception of the odd silvery strand which was only but a few inches in length and neatly combed back. Whenever the guards arrested him he'd been ready go somewhere, however he donned plain grey prison garb with **Purgatory** stamped boldly on the breast of the shirt. The leech, for what it's worth, wasn't in the least bit attractive. He had plain thin lips, a pointy beak like nose, and large wide eyes that reminded me that of a bug. His skin, although smooth, was otherwise unpleasantly pale, translucent almost.

The leech smiled condescendingly at me revealing a sharp and white set of teeth. "No need to get dressed up for me, your highness." He said as he flicked his red eyes up and down my body. I scowled at the man and took no care in the fact that I was wearing a blue pair of plaid pajama pants and a fitted light blue t-shirt to match.

I crossed my arms and glared heatedly at the leech. "I hear you like to fuck puppies." I confidently, though lowly stated.

"Excuse me?" He chuckled.

I looked to the guard on my right, both of whom were wolves. "Unlock it." I demanded.

The guards face contorted in concern. "My prince, I really don't think that's a good idea."

A puff of breath left my lungs. "I said open it!" I snapped. I don't know why his refusal angered me, but it did and I let it feed the wolf inside me.

The leech laughed in amusement as the guard went to the door of the cell. "You certainly are feisty, your highness." He shifted his weight from foot to foot and gave me a smug smirk. "It makes me think that you'd be a squirmer." My eyes shot to his with that last sentence and the only sick image that came to mind was him using _my _Paul.

I heard the click of the lock, stepped a few paces forward and let myself into the cell while closing the barred door behind me as I instructed the guard to then lock it. He did as told. "Is that the only key to the lock?" I questioned.

"Yes, my prince."

"Hand it over." I ordered. The wolf stuck his russet hand through the bars and I snatched the key out of his palm and placed it in my pocket.

Finally I turned my full attention to the leech. I met his fearless gaze and let a look of desperation form on my features. I swallowed and stepped close to him. "Would you like it if I squirmed?" I inquired.

"I'd like it more if you cried." He replied with his smug smirk broadening. I took yet another step forward so we were merely inches apart. I raised a shaky hand and placed it to the scratchy fabric lining his cool stomach. The leech gave me a disbelieving look. "What is his highness doing?"

Slowly I let my fingers drift lower and to the hem of his shirt. "I'm no puppy, but that doesn't mean I don't want you to treat me like one." I lasciviously drawled. I knew I was running out of time as I heard the sound of three sets of heavy and hurried footsteps echoing down the corridor. With a thumping heart I slipped my hand under the waistband of his loose pants.

There was a loud bang of something hitting the bars behind me. "Ryan!" Paul cried in exclamation. The bang had to have been his body hitting the metal.

"Give me the fucking key!" My father screamed at the guards.

I heard some slight shuffling, most likely them backing up as my father closed in on them. "His highness has the key!" They responded in unison.

"Ryan, get the hell out of there!" My dad shouted at me.

A surprised, though happy look came over the leech's face. "I know that wolf." He mused. I craned my neck to follow Aro's line of sight. There Paul stood to the far left side of the cell looking more distraught than words could ever describe while his two copper hands were latched onto the bars in front of him and his eyes firmly on the crotch of the leech's pants where my hand was hidden.

I turned my head back and smiled up at the leech. "Do you?" I pleasantly queried while I gently wrapped my overheated hand around his cold penis. The wolf nodded with a groan while his eyes slipped closed. I let my happy expression fall off my face as I abruptly squeezed my hand as tightly as I could. His wide eyes opened. "This might pinch a little." I viciously snarled, and using every little bit of strength I had to make sure I got the job done I yanked my hand upwards only to hear to most sickening snapping sound and the most agonized scream.

The leech instantaneously dropped to his knees with his hands holding himself between his legs and for a moment I fell stunned. Gradually my eyes moved to my hand which I had held out in front of me and with what I saw the iciest of shivers ran down my spine – in my hand was a vampire's severed penis... I tossed it away from me, literally fucking tossed it, and Paul's eyes followed it the whole way.

Pulling myself out of my daze I rounded the leech and with a growl I latched onto the back of his shirt. I dragged him forward and once to the bars I buried my hand in the back of his hair to grab a tight fistful while my other hand gripped his neck. Surprising myself with my strength I easily lifted him up, and right in front of Paul I slammed the leech's face into the bars, both cracking and chipping the pale flesh.

"That's _my_ wolf you raped!" I furiously shouted as I brought back his face and once again slammed it into the bars. "That's _my _wolf you hurt!_ My _wolf! Don't fucking touch what's _mine_!" For a third time I slammed the leech's face into the bars, though this time his head – with just enough chipped off – went right between two bars, instantly getting stuck.

In a panic his hands came up from his crotch to try and remove himself from the bars. Clearly he wasn't about to go anywhere, not with his head healing so quickly. I let go of him and came to meet Paul's beautiful brown eyes with my green ones. I placed a hand in my pocket and removed the key to the cell. I reached through bars and gave it to Paul. "Come in and kill him if that's what you want to do." I softly told him.

The wolf shook his head as he made his way to the right side of the cell, my parents backing out of his way from where they stood in front of the bars. He placed the key in the lock and opened the door. "Let him starve and die slowly." He hissed bitterly.

I went to the open door. "You can't do this!" The leech bellowed, causing me to turn around to snatch his wrinkled dick off the frowzy concrete floor before I exited.

I left the cell, Paul locking it behind me, and I stood in front of Aro. "Sorry, leech, we most certainly can, but here, have your last meal. It's a little piece of _go fuck yourself_." I spat as I pried open his mouth and roughly stuffed his organ between his teeth and down his throat. Admittedly, it was all worth it just to see the pleased smirk on Paul's handsome face out of the corner of my eye.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter Twenty-one**

Not a word was said all the way from purgatory to the foyer, but as soon we got there my father's big mouth opened. "What the fuck do you think you were doing, Ryan?" He hollered at me.

I furrowed my thin brows as I wrapped an arm around Paul's to hold him close by my side. Calmly I took a deep breath, held it for a moment or two and expelled it. "What did it look like? I was finishing what _you_ started."

His brown eyes widened. "What I started?!" He exclaimed in question.

My dad's golden eyes shot to Paul's. "Maybe you should go to your room." He softly suggested, though we all knew it wasn't _really _a suggestion, but rather a king telling someone to do something.

The wolf went to move, though I held firmly on to him and met his gaze. "I want you to stay with me." I told him.

"Paul, go to your fucking room." My father angrily snapped his order like Paul was some child.

Not having any choice but to listen to the alpha of all alphas the wolf fervently, yet gently tried to break away from me. "You're staying with me." I growled in demand which instantly settled the wolf at my side.

My father shook his head at the two of us. "I said leave!" He yelled at Paul, another order.

The wolf once again tried to break free of me. "Stay." I kindly told him, though it was just as much as a demand as before. For a second time he settled and while he did so I let my hand slip down his arm to his own hand to hold it tight.

My dad's heated gaze met mine. "Listen to your father, Ryan."

"Paul, to your room. Ryan, let him go." My father cholericly ordered. I immediately felt the weight of it hit me and as if I were some drone my body wanted to mindlessly listen, yet my brain and my wolf were telling me to do otherwise.

I glared at my father while one by one my fingers loosened their grip on _my _wolf on their own accord. Right as my body was about to pull away from Paul I snapped my gaze to his and it gave me that little nudge in the right direction that I needed. He's my wolf, he's my wolf, _Paul is my wolf_ and some other alpha was ordering him around! That did _not_ sit well with me at all.

Like my wolf inside me had gone rabid he howled, snarled, and snapped in an enraged effort to tell me to wolf the hell up and be a proper alpha. I squeezed my eyes shut, my body at the point where it wanted to shove Paul away from me. I gritted my teeth and clenched my jaw and along with that my hand around the wolf's closed. I sucked in a breath through my nose while I peeled my eyes back open. "No!" I spat. My father's jaw dropped, and my dad gazed at me in utter disbelief. I glanced to Paul. "You're staying." I looked back to father. "I'm Paul's alpha, nobody tells him what to do, especially not _you_. You had your chance and you blew it big time. Like I said, I cleaned up _your_ mess tonight. How, as an alpha, you could have ever allowed him to be harmed I can't possibly understand."

A low rumbling growl left my father's throat as a huff of angry breath exited his nose. "What the fuck do you expect me to have done differently? I was a prince, not a king, I had no say when it came to the courts."

I shook my head and narrowed my eyes in on his. "Except you could have listened to him. If _I _had been Paul's alpha he would have never known the inside of a prison and his mother would still be alive, it's just that simple. But, let's say, hypothetically speaking, Paul did end up in prison. The day he got there I'd have followed him inside and there's not a chance in hell I'd have ever left without him." I paused for minute to try and quell my rising rage. My brows pinched and my left hand turned curled into a fist. "I'd have sat every moment of every goddamn day in his cell with him just to keep him safe, and if I wasn't strong enough and we both got the hell he had to deal with then that's exactly how it should be. As a failed alpha I _should _feel every little bit of pain my wolf feels, and honestly _daddy_ you truly deserve double whatever Paul has been through because not only did you allow him to be hurt, you also hurt him yourself. If anyone should feel sick when they look in the mirror it's not Paul, it's you." I ranted, and while I had done so Paul's hand had gotten tighter and tighter around mine, as if with each squeeze his respect for me had gone up a notch.

My dad stepped forward and shoved my father behind his back. "That's enough, Ryan."

I cocked my head and gave him an incredulous look. "You're always so quick to sweep all the terrible things he's done under the rug and come to his rescue. Just because father's a wonderful wolf now, and he really is, doesn't for a second erase the pain he has caused others." I turned my attention to my father who stood cowardly behind dad. "I hope you know that if I had been Paul's alpha he'd never know the feeling of his protector ignoring him, he'd never know the feeling or the pain of his protector abusing him, he'd never know fear, and he'd never know hate, but most importantly he'd never have known the truly horrendous things people are capable of doing to each other."

My father shifted his suddenly sorrowful eyes to Paul's. "You know how sorry I am."

The wolf shrugged. "If roles were reversed would a five letter word make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?" He questioned.

My dad suddenly started flicking his eyes between both Paul and I. Just by the focused look on his face I knew he was digging through our minds. He shot his gaze to Paul. "Get your hand _off_ my son." He growled, and the wolf wasted no time being gentle and yanked his hand from mine as he took a step away from me. "You're feeding Ryan nothing but hate for his father. That is _not_ acceptable! It stops now, you do _not _breathe one more word about my husband to our puppy, or so help me god..." He hissed. Dad darted his eyes to mine. "And _you_. What's wrong with you? Before Paul you would have never acted like this. The puppy I knew would have never hurt a soul, but now you've killed without remorse, severed an arm, and tonight you tortured a man. What you did this evening wasn't heroic. It wasn't something you should be proud of. What you did was sink to that vampire's level, and truthfully, Ryan, I don't have the words to describe just how disappointed I am in you." If his aim was to make me feel bad, he didn't. The only thought in my mind was: 'What a fucking hypocrite'.

Like a disrespectful teenager I rolled my eyes at my dad. "Yeah, so what would you have had me do then, dad? Give the leech a box of fucking chocolates and congratulate him for fucking my wolf and getting away with it?"

My dad's eyes narrowed in on mine. "I'd have had you mind your own business."

"Paul _is_ my business." I lowly growled.

Dad shook his head with scowl twisting his lips. "Keep acting like a spoiled little prince and I'll make it so Paul is far from any of your business and nothing but a distant memory." He threatened.

The wolf beside me gasped. "Ed..." He whined.

Furiously my dad turned his attention to Paul. "Ryan is my responsibility, not you, and clearly you've got quite the negative effect on him."

"Babe," My father sighed as he pressed a large hand to my dad's shoulder. "Ryan is just trying-"

My dad shot an enraged glare over his shoulder causing my father stop mid-sentence. "Do _not_ make excuses for him." He snapped.

"But he's-"

"Don't!" Dad interrupted. "What he did tonight was inexcusable!"

My father dropped his hand and moved to face my dad. "But, you lying to me for over ten years about the fact that you brought god knows how many people into our home to have Paul, who was my wolf at the time, kill them is? I fail to see your logic, Ed. I'm not for a second saying that what our pup did was right in any way, 'cause, seriously, I was fucking horrified by what I saw, but blaming Paul is the complete wrong way to go about it. You know just as well as I that he'd have snapped and done the same thing for Emily and even James.

"I was angry before because it terrified me to see our boy in a situation where he could have been seriously hurt. Yet, Ryan's an alpha, and a great one at that, he's going to lose his goddamn mind when his wolves are hurt – that's just a given. Firstly, he removed the dick from a rapist, I can't really see any fallacy in that, but I think it's what he did with it afterwards that was a bit shell shocking." My father shifted his eyes to me. "Puppy, that was fucked up, plain and simple."

I blinked and shrugged. "He put that thing in who knows how many unwilling people. I find it fitting that he should experience his own dick as well."

My father nodded in understanding. "Be that as it may, it's not your place to treat anybody like that. It's one thing to protect your wolves from an immediate threat, but it's just wrong to go out of your way to hurt somebody, and we both know that's not the kind of wolf you want to be. I know you did it with love for Paul, I know your heart was in the right place, but doing what you did to the leech changes nothing. It fixes nothing. He's still a rapist and Paul is still his victim, and Paul will _never_ stop being his victim until he realizes that he doesn't need to be."

* * *

With little talk Paul walked me to my bedroom door. By now my adrenaline had disappeared and only left shame and embarrassment in its wake. With my back a foot or so from my door I looked up at Paul who was facing me. "Paulie, did I do the wrong thing?" I queried. "Honestly."

The wolf stepped forward and tugged me into a tight embrace. "I want to say no, because I really did enjoy seeing my alpha go mad for me. As for my imprint, I never want to see such a look of hate or anger on his face again." He paused to press a kiss into my hair. "You're too beautiful a boy to feel such things."

I nuzzled my nose against the skin of his neck to breathe in his heavenly scent. "I don't want to become a mean wolf." I sadly whispered.

Paul pulled away slightly and brought up his hands. His left ran through the side of my hair and the other tenderly cupped my cheek while he gave me a sweet little smile. "Then I won't let you." He murmured in reply.

"I love you so much." I breathed.

"I love you so much more, angel." Paul whispered, the warmth of his breath fanning my face. His soulful eyes fell to my lips and I felt my heart pick up in speed. Slowly, so slowly he began to lean in. My hands squeezed his sides, absolutely terrified that he might bolt.

The wolf angled my face upwards while I quickly brushed my pink tongue across my lips to moisten them. As he got closer I swore my heart dropped dead in my chest and my lungs turned to concrete beneath my ribs, yet, and as I should have expected, he turned his head right as our lips were to meet, giving me nothing but cheek. "I'm sorry." He mumbled as he broke away from me. "You're probably tired. It's getting late. I should probably head upstairs to my room."

"Yeah." Was all I could say as I fought the immediate urge to cry in disappointment.

He offered up a small, though obviously feigned smile. "But, I'll see you in the morning. We could go out. Maybe do something fun."

"Mhmm." I hummed while I bit my tongue in an effort to force any sort of sadness away from my face. He gave me a nod as he turned away from me and started off down the hall.

With a heavy exhale of breath I entered my room and quietly closed the door behind me. I took a few strides in, yet seconds later found myself standing idly between the door and my bed as silent tears streamed my cheeks. I don't know why the rejection hurt so badly, but it did, and it felt like red hot daggers stabbing and burning their way straight through my soul.

It made me feel like there was something so drastically wrong with me. It made me feel ugly and undeserving of the wolf. Worse yet, it made me feel hopeless. I knew all of those thoughts were stupid. I knew that, really, his rejection had nothing to do with me, though it sure as hell felt like it did. I just wish... I just really, _really_ wish he would kiss me.

There was a quiet, almost silent knock at my door and I prayed it wasn't Rachel. I was certain she'd want to know what happened this evening, and I knew our parents wouldn't give her any details so she'd come to me. I really wasn't in the mood to talk about it and somehow turn what happened tonight into a PG rated story.

With an annoyed sigh I swiped the wetness away from my cheeks while I turned around and went to my door to yank it open. My eyes widened at the sight before – a teary eyed Paul. "I'm crazy." He told me. "I've got to be so fucking crazy..." He breathed as he pressed past me and into my room.

Closing the door I turned around to view the wolf. He came close to me and laid his trembling hands on my chest. "I know there's not a single person in this world that could ever make me feel better than you do, and I know..." His voice cracked and it trailed off as large tears escaped his brown eyes. "Ryan, I know now, I know I belong with you, and I'm so damn crazy because I should have fucking kissed you." He cried.

His quaking hands moved from my chest to the sides of my neck as he stepped close and once again he started to bring his face close to mine. I shook my head. "Don't do this to me, Paul. Don't tease me." I begged.

The wolf's hands slipped further upwards to hold my face gently in his copper hands. "I'm not, I swear to god I'm not. I want this, your lips, _you._" Before I could object any further he closed the distance and the only sound that could be heard were two hearts thumping madly.

My eyes closed and my arms slowly wrapped their way around him as his trembling, though perfectly moist and soft lips glided over mine. Sparks hotter than fire and brighter than the sun lit me up on the inside as the euphoric knowledge that Paul's lips were truly on my own took my emotions by brute force, and I fell. I fell so madly and deeply in love with him while his perfect mouth moved so lovingly over my lips.

Way too soon it ended and our lips were parted, yet when my eyes opened I was amazed to see such a beautiful and at ease expression on Paul's face. His soulful brown eyes were just as soft and gentle as the kiss and in them burned a gleaming passion that was identical to the one I felt for him. With a ghost of a smile the wolf ran a shaking thumb over my bottom lip as he gazed at the pair in wonder. "I had it stuck in my head that kissing someone again would be some terrifyingly catastrophic end of the world experience. Maybe it would have been with anybody else, but with you it wasn't. It felt right, Ryan. It felt good."


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-two**

I guess it shouldn't have surprised me that the moment the sun shone brightly through my window and onto my bed the wolf I had wrapped around me woke in a panic. He hurled himself from the comfort of my sheets as if they were on fire and I was the flames. He backed his way to my door with wide angry eyes while yelling that I shouldn't have kissed him and that I had taken advantage of him when he wasn't mentally sound – Aro had really upset him. He told me never to touch him again, that I had used him... Okay, I need to stop. Can you guess why? I'm a big fat liar!

When the summer sun shone its rays through my large bedroom window Paul moaned groggily and pulled me impossibly closer to him. I rested on my side, my back pressed against his firm chest with his strong arms wrapped tightly and possessively around me. The wolf brushed a few light little kisses against my exposed neck before he nuzzled his face into the crook of it. "Ryan," he mumbled against my skin. "Can I ask you to do me a favour?" I brought my hands up to rub at my itchy and tired eyes as I nodded my head against the pillow we shared.

"I shouldn't have ever mentioned anything negative about your father and I kind of think your dad is right about some stuff." Paul's arms loosened around me as he sighed, and with a good stretch of my legs I rolled onto my other side so I could face the wolf. "We both know just how much Jake loves you and I know you love your father just as much, but I can't help but feel like I'm driving this wedge between you two. That's not my intention and as much as last night meant to me I'd like it if you'd stay out of mine and your father's past. I just, I don't know, I would hate for you to be looking down on him because of me and the last thing I want to do is compromise your guys' relationship."

Not all together pleased I nodded in understanding. I suppose he had a point. Actually, I knew he had a point, I just didn't like it. "I can do that, but I also want you to be able to talk to me about anything and everything. I won't bring anything up again so long as you promise me that if there is ever something from your past involving him you'll speak to me about it if you need too. That's all I ask."

The wolf smiled and brushed a strand of hair away from my face. "I promise." And just like I had died and gone to heaven Paul cupped my cheek as he pressed a sweet kiss to my lips.

"My pretties!" A blond haired and blue eyed human bellowed as he banged my door open and caught sight of the two of us snuggling in bed. He follow up all the noise he had made by slamming the door closed.

James kicked off his shoes and leapt onto the bed. He crawled over my body just to squish in between Paul and me. As he laid on his back he gave me a big goofy grin and a sloppy kiss on the forehead. He brought his attention to the wolf who immediately scowled at the boy. "Don't you fucking do it." Paul grumbled.

"Oh Paul, you act like you don't want it, but I think you do!" James said as he leaned to the side and once his words were complete he gave Paul a kiss that matched the one I previously received.

With his left hand Paul shoved the humans face away from his. "You're terrible."

"Thank you." James chuckled as he pulled the pillow from underneath the wolf, placed it against the headboard, sat up and leaned against it. With a huff of breath Paul sat up as well and leaned against the wood. I, on the other paw, snuggled up to James and placed my head on his thigh. Oddly enough the human looked down at me, gave me a strange look, gently shoved me off of him and looked back to the wolf. "So, I was thinking we could head on down to a pawn shop today."

Paul furrowed his brows. "A pawn shop?" He queried while I came to sit cross legged and facing the two of them.

Smiling at the wolf, the human nodded. "Yeah, to see how much we can get for your dick."

"James!" I breathed.

He flicked his friendly and ocean blue eyes to me. "What?" He laughed with a shrug. "It's not like he uses it anymore." James turned his gaze to Paul's. "You've never even touched yourself have you?"

The wolf shook his head in disagreement. "I have, once upon a time, and many, many moons ago."

James gave Paul a cheeky grin. "Back when the world was flat, men lived in caves, and wooly mammoths roamed the earth, right?" He teasingly questioned.

The wolf angrily, though playfully glared at the human. "Something like that."

"So, when was the last time you got yourself off then?" James asked.

I hit James' arm. "How is that any of your business?"

James pinched his brows as he looked to me. "How isn't it my business?" I gave him wide eyed, head shaking, incredulous look with his answer. "Don't look at me like that. We both know you want to hear the answer to my question." He had a point.

I shrugged slightly and we both turned our eyes Paul's way causing his cheeks to turn a cute shade of red. "I don't know, when I was fourteen or so. Before prison." He told us.

"Dear god!" James gasped. "Dude, no, that's fifteen fucking years! I'm getting blue balls just thinking about it!"

Paul crinkled his nose. "Must you be so lewd?"

"Lewd?!" James exclaimed in question as he turned in his spot to sit face to face with the wolf and I ended up scurrying to the other side of Paul so I could see him. "I'm a teenage human male, that's what we are! I can't even count the number of times my dick comes into my thoughts during the day, or the amount of times I wish I had an orifice to put it in."

Paul lifted a brow. "You're a decent looking guy. If you keep your mouth shut it shouldn't be too hard to find one of those."

James shook his head as he exhaled heavily. "We've gone over this already – I'm a goddamn gentleman with too many morals! I desperately want to get my dick wet, but I'm not going to put it in some random vag just in the effort to come and go. Sex should not be like fast food. I don't want some easy chick that's going to get me off quickly, yeah, it'll feel kind of good, but I refuse to be left wondering why I was so cheap and did that to my body.

"I want the passionate long and drawn out sex that only being in love can give you. I want foreplay galore. I need to have touched and tasted every inch of her body before I'm inside her, though when I finally am my orgasm isn't the goal it's the destination and you better believe I'll be driving slowly to enjoy the scenery the whole way there."

Paul gave him a quirky smile. "You keep saying 'her', yet all I hear is 'him'." He teased.

The human furrowed his blonde brows. "I'm not a homo!" He whined in exclamation as he gave the wolf a good punch in the chest. Well, good for a human, Paul just looked at where he was hit and laughed.

"What the fuck was that?!" He guffawed. I couldn't help but smile at the scene unfolding before me. Paul was laughing so hard his face was reddening and the corners of his eyes were forming tears. "Oh god, it was so wimpy it was cute!"

James shook his head. "I am _not_ cute!"

"No, but that punch was!"

The human rolled his eyes and again shook his head. "Whatever. This isn't about me anyway. I know your problem, man. When you think of sex, you're thinking of fast food and understandably you're grossed out. But, Paul, look at Ryan." Both pairs of eyes shifted to me and I felt my cheeks rise in temperature. "See him?" The wolf nodded. "Yeah, now that's fine dining. Not only is he your imprint but he's beautiful as well – it doesn't get any better than that."

"Dude," Paul deadpanned as he flicked his eyes back to James. "you're at least a little gay."

"What, no! Being attracted to Ryan doesn't count."

The wolf quirked a brow and sighed. "You know what, I'm going to be the bigger man here and say that, yes, I've got to be somewhat homosexual for feeling the way I do about Ryan, and you, sir, are too." He seemingly informed the human. "But, whatever, think what you will." He said as he stood from the bed.

I frowned. "Where are you going?" I questioned.

"My room to get showered and whatnot."

"Oh, Paul!" James piped up as he shifted in his spot to view the wolf. "I did you a favour by taking all your swim trunks. You're showering naked this morning."

"I'll just wear a pair of boxers then." Paul grumbled as he made his way to the door.

The human grinned. "Go ahead, but I only left you one pair of boxer briefs for the day and something tells me you're not the type to go commando."

"Jamie!" Paul growled through gritted teeth as he turned around to glare at the boy. "Give them the fuck back."

"Or you'll what?" James retorted. "Take me to the forest and see how far my guts will spread?" That got a chuckle out of the angry wolf.

"Maybe, don't test me." Paul said with a smile. "But, give me my things back. I _need _them."

James shook his head no with a stern expression on his handsome face. "Nope, absolutely not. You're a big boy now and what you need to do is strip, get our cock in hand, and tame that fire breathing dragon between your legs. The fire being your ejacu-"

"Yeah, I got the reference there, James." Paul interrupted.

The human smiled. "Good, so go rub his belly until he spews. He'll love it and I'm positive it'll be the start to a beautiful friendship."

The wolf nodded and smiled right back the human. "Sure, I'll get right on that... So long as you admit that you're kinda gay for masturbating alongside my imprint so you could watch each other climax." I'm certain my face turned as red as a beet with those words.

James shot an angry glare my way. "You told him that?" He bellowed in outrage.

My eyes widened and I crossed my arms. "You told him yourself that we were 'friends with benefits' the day you two first talked. That's your fault. I just filled in the details." I explained.

"Oh yeah." He grumbled as he flicked his eyes back to Paul's. "Fuck your dick! I'm not gay."

The wolf chuckled. "That's precisely what I'm trying to avoid."

"Go fuck yourself. Don't be a smart ass!" He snapped, although the tiny smile he had on his pink lips told me his anger was all for show.

Again the wolf chuckled. "I told you I wasn't going to do that." He lazily drawled.

James' brows knitted together with feigned annoyance. "Oh, go suck a dick." Paul's face screwed into a look of disgust and it turned a funny shade of green. The human laughed. "Yeah, you don't like that do you? Suck all the dicks, bitch!"

Paul shook his head in repulsion. "What a terrifying thought, though I'm certain it won't be nearly as terrifying as the day you finally get a girl into your bed and you realize the last thing you ever want to do is touch or taste what's laying before you. It'll be that moment you'll finally admit to yourself that you wish you were sucking _all _the dicks, just like me. But, don't worry, I'm a nice guy – I'll share the dicks." I wasn't quite sure if the wolf was being serious or teasing James. I personally didn't think the human was gay. He never made any sort of move on me beyond kissing and his hands never went low enough to even touch my hips. I know he used to say he loved me, a thing he hadn't mentioned in months, and maybe he really did, but I doubt it. I think I'm just his gay best friend and the lines we shouldn't cross got blurred and smeared somewhere along the way. I honestly don't believe kissing the same gender and even going as far as to masturbate with them means that you're gay. People experiment. James experimented and his emotions got involved. Then again, I might be totally wrong and James could be a closet case that's in complete denial.

"Paul," James sighed as he gave the wolf a stupid grin. "I see what's going on here. You _want_ me. Sorry, man, you can look, but you can't touch. I am hot, though, aren't I?"

The wolf rolled his eyes which landed on me afterwards. "Are you going to drive me to my appointment or do you want me to go along by myself?" He asked.

My eyes brightened. "I'll take you!" I turned my attention to James. "We'll go to this diner I went to once with Paul. I really liked it there." James nodded along in agreement and I hopped off my bed to give the wolf a hug goodbye just because I could, although I might have been fishing for a little something else as well.

I wrapped my arms around Paul's waist and gave his neck a good nuzzling while he hugged me to him. After a few moments I took a slight step back so I could comfortably look up at him. I met his gaze and gave him a hopeful look that conveyed the message 'kiss me you fool!'. His eyes left mine and drifted behind me to where I was quite certain James was watching intently and giving us no privacy whatsoever. "In front of him?" He whispered as he shifted his eyes back to mine.

"Pardon? I didn't quite catch that." James said with most likely a goofy grin on his face because he knows just how annoying he's being.

"You don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable." I whispered back with a smile and I rose to my tippy toes to give Paul a sweet little kiss on the cheek. My action caused him to give me a smile in return while his large copper hands came to my jawline and tenderly he swept his soft lips across mine.

"Oh. My. GOD!" James shrieked in the most high pitched and girly tone I've ever heard him make. "I don't believe it! A real kiss!"

The wolf chortled and pulled me back to him to embrace me tightly while he looked over my head at the human. "You're about two minutes away from a limp wrist there, buddy, but if it's any consolation I accept you for who you are, even if that is _just_ a human."

"Uh-huh..." James groaned. "I'd rather be _just _a human with a questionable sexuality than a raging psychopath that wears a bathing suit in the shower and irons his underwear."

"Touche." Paul laughed.

* * *

_Point of View: Edward_

"Come on, Paul, at least talk to me." I begged as I followed along behind him down the hall to his room. He stopped outside his door and placed his hand to the knob. "I said I was sorry."

His copper hand fell from the metal as he slowly turned to face me. "You're sorry, that's nice, everyone is always fucking sorry for something. Eric, Riley, Jake, now you, who's next?" He growled out in anger.

Feeling helpless, I sighed. "I just want what's best for Ryan." I tried to explain.

Paul shook his head at me. "You know goddamn well that I would _never_ hurt Ryan." He snapped.

"Do I? Because if I remember correctly you're the one that took off for five years."

The wolf's jaw dropped as rage sizzled in his squinted brown eyes. "Don't you dare blame that shit on me, Edward!" He furiously snarled. "I've lied enough to Ryan about that and I'm certainly not going to lie to your face just to make you feel better about the decision_ you _made. You think I spew hate, huh, Ed? Because I really fucking think if that were the case then I'd have long since explained to Ryan that it was _you_ who told me I had to leave. If I spewed hate I'd have told him how every few months I'd meet you in the forest outside the palace and fucking beg you to let me come home, yet you'd always say no. Oh, and I would have definitely told_ your_ son how you knew I was going to travel far enough away that I'd die and you didn't even try to stop me. In fact you said 'all your pain will finally go away, Paul'."

I clenched my jaw as I brought my arms up to grip my hair in my hands. "And it would have!" I spat out through gritted teeth while feeling absolutely distressed. "I honestly wanted you to just fucking die because all you did was suffer. You moped around the palace and cried on my shoulder time after time, yet you never did a goddamn thing to try and help yourself. As Ryan got older he noticed you moping, he could feel how much pain you were in and all he ever wanted to do was make you better. Nobody can make _you_ better and an eleven-year-old does not need to be dealing with your fucked up emotions, Paul. I didn't let you come home because you were exactly the same, you hadn't changed a bit, in fact you were worse and I didn't want that around Ryan. He yearned for you but he was living, he had fun, and he had his two best friends – he didn't need you. Had you bettered yourself I'd have never kept you away from home, but you didn't, and you got so sick, and all I wanted was for you to just go away and die. I didn't want my best friend living like that anymore, but I couldn't sacrifice my son's well being just so you'd get physically healthy, yet mentally stay the same. I truthfully thought it'd be best for everybody, especially you, for your life to end."

I watched the bob of Paul's Adam's apple as he swallowed. His anger had faded slightly and it was now mixed with a look of sadness. "How do you feel about me now, Ed? Are you glad I'm home?" He questioned.

I tugged at the roots of my hair. I felt sick with guilt for my friend, but what was I to do? Ryan was more important. "You're a twenty-nine year old man with nothing to offer my boy. You'll never be what he needs and wants, you're not mentally capable of it. I know you've taken a few steps in the right direction, but I think we're both well aware you'll never be the husband Ryan dreams of or the dad to his puppies. If you truly love him as much as you say you do then disappear, Paul, disappear and never come back because as long as you're in your imprints life he doesn't stand a chance at the life he always wanted for himself." I told him with absolutely no emotion as my frozen innards ached. If there was a button I could press or anything I could do to mold Paul into the wolf my pup dreams of I would, but he is a broken and hopeless man that is no good for _my_ son. He needs to go.

The wolf sucked in a shocked and shaky breath, though he kept his mind focused on nothing in particular. "But that's an automatic death sentence for me."

I dropped my hands to my sides, scrubbing them across my face along the way. "Stop being so selfish, Paul. Ryan has a chance at wonderful and happy life, you don't. Don't ruin his life just because yours is." I pleaded.

With a blank face the wolf silently nodded as he turned back to his door and pushed it open. "You might be right." He murmured while he entered his room and closed the door behind him.


	23. Chapter 23

**Note:** I'm quite postive Yorkie is not an Asian last name, but for the sake of one little line in this chapter it is now.

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-three**

The three of us guys piled into the car – Paul took the passenger seat in the front since his long legs wouldn't allow him to sit in the back while James happily sat in the middle seat behind us so he could lean forward and bug us the whole way to the therapist's office. Paul's mood felt off, but I wasn't about to mention anything. I figured if it was something worth talking about he'd be telling us what was up. It's probably quite obvious by now but the wolf didn't seem to mind talking about personal things with our human friend. He has probably spoken more to James about his prison stay than me; then again I wasn't the type to ask questions about it like James was.

I think the only reason Paul was so quick to confide in the human was because he didn't take everything so seriously like most would. James never poked fun at what happened to Paul in prison like he did with most other things, but he also didn't act like it was some huge and awful thing that happened and he clearly never tiptoed around the wolf either. I believe Paul liked that James would make light of the crappy things he's been through and joke about the wolf's weird quirks. I think it helped him not take himself so seriously.

I pulled out of the palace drive and as predicted the human leaned forward. He placed a hand on Paul's shoulder to get his attention. "So, did you shower completely naked?" He queried. The wolf said nothing, though he did nod his head yes.

I grinned like a mad man. "Really?" I excitedly asked. Again he only nodded.

"And did it attack you?" James questioned.

The wolf shoved James' hand off of his shoulder as he leaned to his right and rested his head against the window. "Did what attack me?" He grumbled.

The human chuckled. "Duh, your dragon."

Paul sighed to himself. "Fuck off, James. Seriously." He grouched.

James nodded with a bit of a frown while he sat back in his seat. "What's wrong? You were in a really good mood this morning."

"Nothing's fucking wrong!" The wolf snapped.

In the rear view mirror I caught sight of James rolling his eyes. "Clearly." He mumbled under his breath.

"Pull over." The wolf breathed.

My thin brows furrowed as I glanced to him. "Why?"

Paul shook his head at me and I was suddenly able to feel the car fill with an abrupt burst of the wolf's rage. "Pull the fuck over!" He furiously screamed, his face contorted with anger. James gasped in the back and I quickly did as it was loudly requested of me.

The second I was over on the shoulder and going slow enough Paul leapt from the car and flew into the forest that framed the empty two lane highway. I turned off the engine, got out of the car and rounded it to meet James on the other side who also emerged from the vehicle. He gave me a clueless blue eyed gaze. "Should you go after him?" He queried.

I shook my head. "I'm not leaving you on the side of the road." I told him.

"Do you think he is coming back?"

I shrugged. "He better. He can't just ditch his appointment." Only after a few moments I heard rustling coming from the bushes and soon enough Paul came through them, however he a had a huge... I'm inclined to say stick in hand, but it was more like a log.

I yanked James out of the wolf's way by the back of his shirt as he neared the car. Paul came to stand by the front wheel where he then raised the log like stick and swung. "Paul!" I shouted as he did so, yet was much too late and with a large smash the wood obliterated the front windshield. Immediately after he lifted the wood over his head. "Paul! This is my dad's favourite car!" I bellowed.

"I know." He lowly growled, and with that said he slammed the log into the hood of the car both crumpling the metal and destroying the wood. The wolf threw the splintered pieces he had left in his hands to the right as he muttered something along the lines of 'fucking prick' under his breath.

The wolf shuffled down the car to the middle and bent to place his hands underneath it. My green eyes widened. "Paul-" My voice was cut off half way through by James' hand covering my mouth, his body behind mine.

"Don't stop him. This is better than a movie." He whispered. With a loud groan and the horrible sound of scraping metal Paul flipped the car onto its side. He then stalked to the front of the car just to shove it over and completely upside down which positioned it right in the centre of the road. "Holy shit." James drawled. From there the wolf went back to the cars middle and started ripping random bits of machinery from its underside. Angrily he tossed the chunks of metal into the trees in front and behind him.

"Nothing to offer..." Paul grumbled quietly to himself while he tore the cars guts to shreds. "Not mentally capable of it..." He rambled on. "Doesn't stand a chance... I'm selfish?... I can have a happy goddamn life, it's not ruined. Disappear?" He sucked in deep breath as he took a step back from the car. "_Disappear_? Fuck him!" He heatedly exclaimed just as he kicked out his foot and slammed it into the side of the car. The screeching of metal sliding across the asphalt caused the immediate reaction of my hands darting upwards and covering my sensitive ears, although James did the same. The car skidded across the ground and into the grassy ditch on the other side of the road – that thing was totalled.

I dropped my hands just as Paul let out a huff of breath while he turned around to face James and me. The human came forward with a big grin on his face. "Feel better?" He questioned.

Paul paid James absolutely no mind and came straight to me. He enveloped me in a needy and tight embrace as he tucked a few kisses into my hair. My arms rounded his waist to hug him just as tightly and perhaps a little possessively while for the very first time James gave us some space and idly strolled up the road.

"Ryan," The wolf murmured. "There's nobody more precious to me than you, and all I want in this world is for you to be happy. All the dreams you had when you were a puppy, is that still what you want? Me, a wedding one day, and a family?"

I nodded against him. "In a perfect world, yes, but so long as I have you I'm happy."

Paul loosened his arms a tad so he could take a wee step back and look me in the eyes. "I swear to god I'm going to give you your perfect world, angel. You'll see." He promised.

"Paulie..." I breathily whined while I took a step back myself and dropped my hands to my sides. It sounded way too good to be true.

The wolf followed my step by taking his own forward and with his large copper hands he held my face. "I'm going to love you all my life and there's not a single thing anybody can do to stop me." With those words passionately said Paul angled my face towards his own. He leaned down, trapping my lips in a kiss that quickly escalated from tender to hungry. This was nothing like the few little loving kisses he'd given me previously. The love was still there as our lips glided across each others, but this time it oozed with a sensuality I didn't even know the wolf had in him.

Paul's right hand dipped into the side of my hair and it slowly slipped to the back of my neck along my hairline so he could hold me firmly to him and deepen the kiss. Tempting fate, I parted my lips just enough so the tip of my tongue could peek out so I could sweep it across the wolf's bottom lip. He reacted in a way I never could have predicted – with a slight and quiet moan.

His hand left my cheek and with it flattened on my lower back so he could press my body to his while his own tongue timidly entered my mouth. It was my turn to moan, and when I did it seemed to erase Paul's nerves because like he'd done it a million times his tongue confidently brushed across mine.

I found my hands beneath his shirt just in an effort for my fingers to feel every bit of muscle that sculpted the wolf's back. At that point I wanted to line up all my dad's cars in row and let Paul do what he will to them. If one destroyed car rewarded me this kiss I couldn't imagine what a dozen would get me – his lips and tongue were so worth my dad's anger.

My pants were tight and my crotch was aching, but I didn't dare let it affect my judgement. Okay, big lie, it totally did – one of my hands slid down his back while his mouth worked against my own in an erotic fervour and with my mind determined to feel more of Paul my hand drifted along the back of his shorts to grab hold of a firm cheek.

The wolf gasped against my lips and I knew in that moment I had pushed him too far too fast. Our lips parted, though my eyes remained closed and I returned my hand to his side. Not even a moment later his mouth was back on mine and his hands were back on my face while he gave me a kiss that sent my heart into a frenzy. I was so in love, yet the best and most beautiful part of it was the fact that I could feel that he felt the same – something not so long ago I thought was entirely impossible.

Gradually the kiss died down and we were inevitably forced to part ourselves from each other. My eyes peeled open and I immediately caught sight of a perfect pair of brown ones. "What was all that about?" I breathlessly queried.

Paul shook his head, his hands running down the sides of my arms. "There's not a chance in hell I'd ever leave you. Not again. Not ever." He answered.

I smiled at the wolf absolutely clueless as to what he was talking about. "I know, you promised me that long ago."

The wolf pressed a quick needy kiss to my lips and then another. "Well, I meant it. There's nothing anybody can say or do that will take me away from you, and I promise, I fucking _promise_ you, Ryan, I'm going to be your dream wolf. I'm going to prove everybody wrong, I can get better."

James cleared his throat as he neared us. "If that's the case, Paul, you're going to need a fuck ton of therapy and at this rate you're never going to get there." He told the wolf.

Paul nodded as he started to back away from me. "Give me five or so minutes. I'll go get another car." With that said he turned around, yet abruptly turned back gave my lips another perfect kiss and pulled away with a smile on his face as he gave his head a slight shake. "I can't get over how much I love doing that." He said to me as he turned around, and this time he sprinted down the road in the direction of the palace.

James' gaze flicked to mine. "Well, your dad's a fucking dick." He spat.

I furrowed my brows in confusion. "Where did that come from?" I questioned.

James' blue eyes widened then rolled while he crossed his arms. "I really ought to start charging for my services." He grumbled to himself. "Okay, so when your wolf was tearing apart your dad's car he was mumbling all that shit. First of all, if he wasn't pissed at his grace there's not a chance he'd ruin his property. So, clearly something happened between them. Anyway, like I said, your wolf was mumbling a bunch of junk to himself. I'm willing to bet it was all stuff him and your dad talked about. But, what actually bothers me is that he repeated 'disappear' twice as a question, you know, like he was asking himself if he should do it. Your dad told him to fucking disappear or some shit! It's so obviously true because right after he went to you and asked if you still wanted everything you've always dreamt about. To me it seemed like he was making sure he was still what you wanted, then when you confirmed it he promised he'd make your dreams come true, and also mentioned nobody could stop him from loving you. What if your dad tried to stop him and now he wants to prove to his grace or himself that he _can_ be everything you've ever wanted or some kind of crazy bullshit? Also, Paul told you he'd never leave, nobody can take him away from you, and that he wants to prove everybody wrong and get better, which all just confirms what I think went down between your dad and him."

I stared at the human in absolute disbelief. "But, my dad would know if Paul left me he would get sick and could even die. My dad would never want that." I protested.

James shrugged. "You sure? You know how trigger happy he is when he thinks his family is in danger. Is it so hard to believe that he'd vocalize that he wanted the wolf to leave if he thought he was bad for you? You're his puppy, I'm pretty certain he'd slaughter a room full of babies without remorse if he knew it'd benefit you in some way." I frowned at all this, not because of the visualization of the babies, but because the human was completely right. Plus, my dad had made it perfectly clear last night that he wasn't particularly fond of Paul around me anymore.

My hands turned to fists. "What should I do?" I breathed.

"Nothing, your dad motivated the hell out of the wolf."

* * *

Sitting down at a comfy red booth, Emily, who we had picked up after dropping Paul off at his appointment sat across from me by the window with James at her side. The human and I had just finished filling her in on everything that had happened with Paul today. "I don't know, Ryan, your dad's been off ever since the whole fiasco on Christmas, but what I don't get is why he'd so suddenly confront the wolf. Why not sooner? What pushed him over the edge?" She questioned no one in particular.

I pulled the napkin out from under the cutlery and twiddled it in my fingers. "I did something bad last night. Really bad, and kind of for Paul. I think that's what did it for my dad." I mumbled, then sadly sighed.

Both my friends furrowed their brows and gave me an inquisitive look. "You, bad?" James queried as he shook his head. "No."

Emily rolled her eyes at that. "What did you do?" She asked just like a mother would. Clearly she knew I was capable of getting up to no good.

Again I sighed as I ripped a few pieces off the napkin and dropped the bits to the table. "My dad brought this leech to purgatory. Apparently he was the first one to ever... _hurt_ Paul in prison. Something happened, I went mad or something, but it wasn't like I didn't know what I was doing. I was aware, very aware. I just wanted to hurt the leech so badly. All I could think about was Paul underneath him while he... I lost it." I paused for a moment and inhaled a deep breath. "Basically I ripped his penis off and shoved it down his throat in front of my parents and Paul." Two sets of eyes widened while two jaws dropped. "I know." I murmured. "It's sick. I don't know how I did that. I wish I didn't do it. I mean, I know he's a really bad guy, but I still wish I never touched him."

The human shook his head as his blue eyes blinked in shock. "Remind me to _never_ get on your bad side." He breathed.

Emily shot James a glare before turning her attention back to me. "Okay, so what you did _is_ a little out there. Definitely shocking. Definitely out of character. Definitely-"

"Fucked up!" James interrupted in exclamation. "You ripped a dude's dick off! How did you even get your hands in his pants to even do that? Scrap that, I don't want to know."

Emily once again turned her head to glare at the human. "Just out of curiosity, if Ryan was raped what would you want to do to the guy who did it?"

James' eyes lit up in understanding. "Oh, I see." He hummed to himself. He flicked his eyes to me. "Still takes one crazy motherfucker to actually do it, though."

"Whatever." I huffed. "I feel weird and gross because of it, like I've hit some insane low that only a particular kind of person is able to hit. Don't tell Paul any of this, though. It'd only upset him and I think we can all agree that he'd blame himself for it."

"So, how did your parents react after all this was said and done?" Emily asked.

I let the napkin flutter to the table so I could scrub my hands across my face. "They didn't react much, I did all the reacting. I said all sorts of horrible things about my father. I blamed him for everything that happened to Paul and I even told him he deserved to suffer because of it." I crossed my arms over the table and laid my forehead on them so I didn't have look at my friends' faces. "Ugh." I groaned to myself. "I only said a lot of that stuff because I knew Paul never would and I knew that's how he felt, plus I wanted the wolf to know how things were different with me. I thought it needed to be said, but you should have seen the look on my father's face. Worse yet, I didn't even feel bad at the time. I was just so caught up in the moment. Everything didn't really hit me until today. I wish I could rewind. Paul's feelings shouldn't have come from me and I should have just had a private talk with the wolf about how I'm not like my father... not like how my father used to be. Anyway, my dad flipped and threatened to make Paul a distant memory. Turns out he was pretty damn serious."

"You know," James said. "Maybe you should be telling your parents this instead of us."

I peeked up at the human from my arm. "My dad tried to send my own wolf off on mission to go kill himself. I don't even know how the hell I'm supposed to even look at him."

Emily quirked an inky black brow. "To be fair, he pretty much did the same thing to your father. Perhaps he'd like to know what his grace has been up to?" She suggested.

"I don't know..." I grumbled while I went back to hiding my eyes. "What I'm worried about is what will my dad do if Paul_ doesn't_ leave."

"So, what if he _does_ leave?" James put in. Again I peeked and I saw Emily nodding along with him.

Angrily I sat up in my seat. "You want me to send Paul away?" I spat.

James looked at me like was stupid. "Don't be an idiot. He can come stay with me for a few weeks. I'll make my boss give him a job by threatening that the king will come pay him a visit if he doesn't, and voila, the wolf can save up some doe then find some roomies of his own." My eyes brightened as I nodded along with his words.

"You're a fucking genius!" I exclaimed.

The human looked stunned for a moment, though he quickly plastered on a grin. "Well, yeah." He chuckled.

I darted my eyes between Emily and James. "Honestly, Jamie, I don't think you get how great this idea is. This is exactly what Paul needs – a life! He shouldn't be stuck in the palace where he does nothing day after day. That's just making his mind go in circles. But, working construction? Is there even a better way for him to get out all his frustrations? Think of all the people he'll get to meet too!" I excitedly babbled.

"Yeah, and they're all assholes." James deadpanned, and offered up a wicked grin. "He'll fit in perfectly."

"I only see two flaws in this plan." Emily stated. "One: How is Paul going to handle living away from his imprint after being so close for a year, and two: How is Paul going to handle living in a cramped apartment with Eric?"

James leaned forward with his elbow on the table and his chin in his hand. "Well, the two of them finally have something in common, his grace would like to see them both dead, yet sadly his brother wants one and his son wants the other. Anyway, Eric's been a total pussy since he got that collar slapped on him and half an arm ripped off. He'd be Paul's bitch more than a bother." He told us.

"How's he doing anyway?" Emily questioned. "I haven't seen him around the palace at all."

The human shrugged. "I don't know, shitty I guess. He doesn't go to palace much at all. Maybe once a week, sometimes not even. He feels pretty humiliated every time he goes there and rightfully so. I know Riley was really upset that he didn't move back in like his grace offered, so long as they had separate rooms. I don't think he can bear to face everybody – pretty cowardly, really."

"He's still treating you good, right?" I inquired.

James nodded with a little smile. "He's a suck, and so much so it's annoying. He talks a lot about when I was little, like pre Riley, when we were actually close. He has admitted to all the bad things he's done to me, you know, like acting as if I didn't exist and whatnot. But, you know me, I'd like him to just shut up about everything. I want to forget about it." His voice wavered towards the end as he turned his face away from Emily and me and used his hand to block his right cheek from my view. "Emotions, ugh. God forbid I actually have to talk about serious ones of my own."

James stood from the booth and started to walk away from us. He looked over his shoulder and met my gaze with pained blue eyes. "Gotta piss." He mumbled. I nodded and brought my attention to Emily only to have it ripped away when I heard a thump of a body hitting the tiled floor and a mouthful of profanities stringing from James' lips.

Both Emily and I found our eyes peering across the diner to see James laying on his back and a dark haired vampire with an eyebrow ring standing to his side. "I'm so sorry!" Charlie vehemently apologized as he offered the human his hand to help him up. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

James took the offered hand, though I immediately heard the crunch of his knuckles and caught sight of him wincing as he was pulled to his feet. The vampire ripped his hand away as soon as the human was to his feet and gazing at his limb in pain. "Hurt more coming up than it did going down." He lowly muttered to himself as he rubbed his sore hand.

"Sorry, you humans are_ so_ fragile. I thought I was being gentle. Sorry." Charlie anxiously breathed.

"It's cool." James said with quick glance in the vampire's direction, yet as soon as his eyes went to his hand he flicked them right back to Charlie with a little line forming between his brow. Curiously, Charlie met his gaze, his pale cheeks paling further. The human nodded in my direction. "Are you serving that table?"

The vampire's eyes widened as he noticed me. He nodded and swallowed uncomfortably. "Yes, but I don't have to."

"No, no, I was just wondering." The human held out his hand to the vampire. "I'm James Yorkie by the way." Suddenly he dropped his hand, though gave Charlie a big smile. "On second thought, I'll keep my hand to myself."

In embarrassment the vampire's face paled even further. "Charlie Swan. You don't look very Asian." He mused.

James' eyes brightened with amusement. "And you don't look much like a bird."

Charlie offered up a timid smile. "Point taken."

"I like the hole in your face." James seemingly complemented.

"What?" The vampire shyly chuckled.

James' cheeks turned a funny shade of pink as he motioned to Charlie's eyebrow. "The thingy."

"Oh, my eyebrow ring."

James nodded with his typical goofy smile. "Yeah, I'd look like a total tool with one of those. Suits you, though. But, yeah..." He pointed in the direction of the restrooms.

"Oh, sorry." Charlie quietly apologized as he stepped out of the human's way.

James followed him with his eyes. "It's fine. Can I get a root beer?"

"Sure," Charlie said with a minute smile. "I'll have it waiting for you."

The human grinned at the vampire. "Thanks!" As James strolled off to the bathroom both Emily and me couldn't help but notice Charlie's eyes rake the back of his body.

Emily leaned across the table to get closer to me. "Do you think the leech wants to eat our human?" She questioned in a whisper.

Before I could answer said vampire was at our table dropping off three menus along with taking drink orders and by time James returned his root beer was in fact waiting for him. He took a sip of his carbonated drink through a straw then smiled at the two of us. "I like this place. Good service and cute staff." He happily said.

I was quick to give him an incredulous look. "Charlie?" I queried.

The human gave me an incredulous look right back. "Dude," He chuckled. "I don't think we've got quite the same taste. I was talking about her." He nodded toward a pretty brunette waiting a table across the diner. "I didn't even have to open my mouth to blow it. I tried to sneak a peek of her name tag as I walked by her. Yeah, I wasn't nearly sneaky enough. I guess she thought I was ogling her tits because she gave me that look like I was some kind of pervert about to jump her. She called me a few names and said something about telling her manager. So, if we get kicked out I really wish I took the time to actually look at her fucking breasts."

Emily took a drink of her cola. "Uh-huh..." She hummed against the straw. It wasn't long until the manager, some middle aged woman, did come to our table requesting James' side of the story. He gladly gave it along with the girl's name, Carmen, to prove his point – we got to stay.

During lunch we chatted more about Eric and how I should go about talking to Paul about moving out of the palace... today. He was yet to know that I knew that my dad told him to leave. I was hoping Paul would tell me how wrong James was for coming to that conclusion, though I honestly didn't see that happening.

I felt like a bad alpha asking him to live with Eric for a few weeks, but maybe it would be a good thing for the two of them to spend some time together. I didn't like Eric one bit, yet I thought it might do Paul some good to be stuck in an uncomfortable situation so he could finally realize those awkward feelings don't mean the end of the world nor do they need to be avoided at all costs. I personally didn't trust Eric, but James guaranteed that he wouldn't be a problem. Plus, if I had choose the wrath of Eric for Paul or the wrath of my dad, it'd be Eric every day of the week.

Feeling particularly nosey that afternoon I asked a bunch of questions pertaining to Riley's and Eric's relationship. James said Eric is quite adamant that what they had was never romantic, although he did confess that Riley had often urged him to take things to another level and that's how the feeding started years ago since the vampire himself didn't arouse Eric, yet, of course, the feeding did. He also went on to say that he was hooked after the first feeding and after that he constantly pestered Riley for more and only after a few weeks of this it turned into the vampire always begging for more, which Eric gladly gave.

He said the feeding began just after he found out Lauren, his imprint, was cheating on him with her now husband and it was only few months after that, when James was eleven, Eric had him placed in a foster home. Strangely enough the two didn't actually split for another few years, though I could only imagine how things were at home for them. However, I can specifically remember just how distraught James was when he was taken away from his brother. He never cried or the like, but I didn't have to be my gramps to be able to feel the hurt radiating off of him.

It was a pretty big shock for everyone that Eric would do that to him. He was always so protective and even incredibly possessive of his baby brother. He hated it when wolves and vampires touched his human brother, and he'd always be quick to yell at them to stay away because he was so fragile. Pups aren't as tough as wolves and they don't have the healing abilities, but they're pretty durable. Humans, young or old, don't even compare to that of a puppy and I think Eric was pretty obsessed with James' safety, well, until Riley started feeding from him.

I guess drugs will do that to you, and that was exactly what Riley was to him, a drug. Every time the vampire fed from him he got an adrenaline high along with an orgasm so great that neither masturbating nor sex could achieve even a percent of the pleasure, or so Eric says. James went on to mention that the first few weeks with his brother at his place were _not _fun. Apparently finding your older brother hunched over on the floor of your bedroom, sobbing, while fervently masturbating makes for awkward times. I believe it. According to Eric his dick was numb for weeks and he couldn't feel a thing, yet his cravings for Riley at the time had literally drove him out of his mind. I'll say, and I thought I had it bad for Paul.

Anyway, James' roommates really enjoy Eric's company. I find it hard to believe, but James says it's true and they even told Eric that if he wanted to live there he could stay. James, happy that his brother was finally back in his life, wasn't so pleased that Eric accepted since that meant the human was stuck sharing his room and bed with his older brother for an undetermined amount of time.

Eventually the table was cleared of our empty plates and glasses and surprisingly enough Carmen came to drop off the bill. She was visibly human and had to be around the age of eighteen. I envied the thickness and the natural curls of her long hair. Her face was round giving her that cute look, however her cheekbones were well defined which added maturity to her attractive features. I was certain nearly every girl was jealous of her incredibly feminine and seductive lips and eyes. The young woman in a short jean skirt, black flats, and a matching black t-shirt to match oozed sex appeal. With my eyes on her I found it hard to believe that James was actually looking at her name tag, even I was tempted to check out her chest just for curiosities sake.

Carmen blushed as she met my gaze. "If it's not too bold of me to say, you're quite stunning, my prince." She timidly complemented as her fingers fiddled with the small pad of paper she kept on her to scribble down orders.

I smiled at her, positive the colour of my cheeks matched hers. "I was just thinking the same about you." I replied honestly. I heard an 'oh my god' and a 'did you hear that?' which was followed up with 'She's so lucky!' with a bunch of giggles. My eyes looked past Carmen to see three employees about her age behind the diner's counter gazing over us. The second the girls caught me looking they all gasped and broke away from each other to pretend to appear busy and working hard.

With heated red cheeks she turned her attention to James. "I just wanted to apologize for calling you a womanizing bastard who only knows how to think with his dick." She explained to him.

James shook his head and waved off her apology. "If it makes you feel better your statement wasn't completely untrue. Just a second ago when you turned to give your eavesdropping friends a good glaring at I totally checked you out. I regret nothing." He flirtatiously said with a cocky little smile.

Carmen smiled right back at him. "I was hoping that maybe if you're up for it I could take you out for a drink, a coffee or something, sometime, so I can make it up to you." James' attention strayed from her mid sentence as he watched Charlie hurry past our table and to the door leading outside.

"Hold that thought." He told her as he stood up from the booth and rushed off in the same direction of the vampire. James caught up with Charlie just outside the door. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I saw the vampire bring the bag from his back forward and pull out a pen from one of its compartments. The human gladly took it from him as Charlie rolled up his sleeve. James stepped forward to hold onto the vampire's arm while he jotted something down on it – I had the feeling it was his number. Next the vampire did the same, they shared some smiles, there was some head nodding, and then the human came back inside while Charlie took off down the street in a blur.

"Sorry about that." James huffed as he plopped down in his seat. He looked up at the girl. "What were you saying?"

Carmen shook her head as she tucked her note pad in her pocket. "Oh, um, nothing. But..." She motioned to the counter behind her with her thumb. "I should get back to work."

James smiled at the girl, his brows lifting slightly. "Sure thing, nice meeting you – even with the name calling."

"Yeah," Carmen nodded, albeit with disappointment written all over her pretty face. "You too." She turned in her spot and headed toward the counter, grabbing some menus to take to a few customers who had just walked in.

Emily cleared her throat as she gave James' shoulder a pinch. "You realize you just blew off a date with a beautiful girl, right?" She asked in astonishment.

James shrugged. "Whatever, as it turns out she isn't really my type." He nonchalantly remarked.

"How isn't gorgeous not your type?" I queried.

Again the human shrugged. "I don't really care much about looks. I mean, yeah, she was pretty and she seemed nice and all despite our first meeting, but I just wasn't into her. I can't help that."

"So, is that Charlie's number on your arm there?" Emily questioned as she eyed his left arm that was resting on the table.

The human grinned. "Sure is! We're going to the river tomorrow, he said you guys should come along too and for his highness to bring his _boyfriend_ as well. You two will come, right?" I nodded my yes in response and felt pretty excited about getting to know someone new.

"I'm going to be stuck being the fifth wheel aren't I?" Emily sighed.

James gave her his goofy grin and a wink. "I'll bring Eric for you." He laughed.

"Oh joy! You really know how to make my heart swoon in anticipation!" She sarcastically retorted.

* * *

Upon arriving at the therapist's office Paul was already outside the building in the parking lot and attaching a license plate onto a car that looked exactly like my dad's that he destroyed only few hours prior. I pulled up in an empty spot beside the wolf and got out the car while telling the two to wait in the car.

"His grace will never know the difference." Paul said as he turned his head my way to give me a bit of a smile from where he was crouched behind the car. "For some reason I was under the impression Ed was quite frugal. I just shelled out over a hundred grand for this hunk of metal on wheels. I think I'll be keeping my temper in check from now on. Brady's a lifesaver, though. He had the old car junked, dropped off the plates, and had the new car towed here."

I started to panic slightly. "My dad will know, he goes through everybody's bank statements each month since _he_ pays for everything!" I exclaimed.

"Ryan, relax." The wolf stood as he took my hand in his and brought his lips to my knuckles to give them a kiss. He gave me a smile and placed my hand back at my side. "I'm not nearly as dumb as I look. It's all bought and paid for out of my own pocket."

My thin brows pinched together. "You paid for it? How?"

"When my dad died I inherited everything. The prick cut me out of his will, but his grace got me everything anyway."

My green eyes widened. "You killed your own dad?!" I blurted right out as it crossed my mind.

It was his turn for his eyes to widen. "Whoa, what the hell are you talking about?"

"Not long after my parents' wedding your dad went missing and the last he was seen was when royal guards were taking him away from his home. I know you had a list of people that hurt you and my dad helped you get them... but killing your own father?"

"Holy shit, Ryan, I _never_ killed my father. I didn't touch him, I never saw him even once after my trial. I don't know about any guards taking him either. All I know is Ed came to me one day, told me he was dead, asked if I wanted to know how he died, I said no, and then he gave me a bunch of papers to sign to get all my dad's shit transferred into my name." He explained. "I don't want to know what happened to him, but you can go right on ahead and ask your dad for all the details you want, just keep them to yourself please."

I nodded with a sigh as guilt and shame contorted my emotions and probably my face as well. "Don't do that." Paul requested.

"Do what?"

He smiled at me. "Make that face. You look like a kicked puppy – adorable, but depressing."

I rolled my eyes with huff of breath. "I'm not adorable." I deadpanned.

Paul's smile broadened. "If you say so. But, anyway, let's head home. Do want to ride with me and have James drive the spare car or are you going with them?"

"Actually, Paul, I have something I need to talk to you about..."


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter Twenty-four**

James and Emily had long since left in the spare car. I told James just to keep it overnight and if all went as planned I'd be dropping Paul off at his place later. Now, sitting on a small concrete path in front of the car and resting my back against a grey bricked building with Paul to the left of me I felt terrible. He listened the whole time silently and once I was finished he denied nothing about the assumptions James had made about the conversation he had with my dad.

The wolf laced his fingers with mine and squeezed my hand tight. "I don't want to leave home and I especially don't want to leave you." He sadly told me.

I shook my head and gave him a smile full of hope for him. "Trust me, the last thing I want is for you to live somewhere else, but you won't be leaving me. I'll still see you all the time. Maybe not every day, but still quite a bit. Plus, Paulie, if you leave the palace you can make your very own home. You have the money, buy an apartment or even a house. Make a _real_ life for yourself." I leaned into him and tapped his stomach with my free hand. "I know you've got the guts, but it's your fears that hold you back. What it's time to do is a say a big 'fuck you' to your past and embrace the future, because honestly, Paul, the future is what _you_ make it to be. If you're going to sit around and think about your past, you're going to be miserable. Yet, if you can think about the future while leaving the past behind all the wonderful possibilities for you are limitless. So, tell me, Paulie, you're forever seventeen, what exactly is it that you want out of your endless life? You know my dreams, what are yours?"

I laid my head against his shoulder and he tucked a kiss into my hair before resting his cheek against me. "I've never really thought about the future and I've definitely never had any dreams for myself, but looking ahead, if I could have anything I want out of life you're the first thing I think of, though there's lots of other things that spring to mind."

"Okay," I said with a smile. I brought his hand up that was in mine and kissed the back of it before placing it on my lap. "Lets hear it."

I heard him swallow and clear his throat. "Well, I really like what you said. My own home kind of thing. I think I'd enjoy a house and even a yard to do whatever I please with it."

I gazed up at him and met his beautiful brown eyes. "But, no labels right?"

He gave me grin and shook his head. "No labels." He chuckled. "The more I think about it the more I want to try working with James. I won't have a clue what I'm doing, yet the idea of _learning_ how to build all this stuff sounds exciting, plus if James can do it, how hard can it really be?" He paused for moment as he looked off to nowhere in particular. "Actually, I think I do have a dream. Want to hear it?"

I nodded. "You know I do."

"If you don't already think I'm nuts, you're about to. When I picture my ideal home it's not just me there. I can picture a swing set out back. A kiddy pool overflowing with water because someone forgot the hose on and a retriever drinking from it. There's even a large sandbox, which _you're_ going to hate because you'll think all the neighbourhood cats are going to crap in it, but I grew up with one and loved it – so our pups have to have one. Also, I'd have ridiculously sized barbecue out on the patio. It'd have a bunch of gadgets I'd never use, mainly because I didn't know how, though I'd love the thing and use it every weekend, rain or shine, sleet or snow. You'd complain every time I used it saying that you smelt the smoke from it in the house even with the door closed. But, truth be told, I'd always crack the sliding glass door open just a smidgen because I thought you were so cute all flustered and frustrated.

"Inside, well, inside would be perfect. We'd live well beneath our means, yet there would be no place on earth that felt better than inside those four walls. Family photos would line the hallway to the bedrooms. Around the ledge of tub in the bathroom would be covered in bath toys, and I swear to god every damn morning I'd step on the same little car on the way to the kitchen to make breakfast for everyone. You and the pups would start eating while I finished up the lunches for school. You would have used to insist on waiting for me before eating but over time you finally understood that I loved listening to you chat to them about their day ahead." Paul sucked in a breath of air as he gazed down at me while I looked up, our eyes meeting while I gave him a warm smile. "I'm out of my mind, aren't I?"

I nodded with a slight chuckle. "Completely, there's _no_ _way_ I'd ever let my puppies play in a dirty old sand box!"

The wolf grinned at me and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Sure you will." He stated rather confidently.

"Will I?" I mused.

"You will, but only because I'll threaten to withhold sex."

My eyes widened as I tittered a bit. "Hmm, you're right, hope the pups like cat poop." I deadpanned. Paul laughed, I wasn't sure if it was at me or my words, but either way it gave me a nice fuzzy feeling inside.

The wolf spoiled me with more kisses and one special peck on the lips. "God, you're beautiful." He murmured while he turned his body closer to mine. His left hand came up and he placed it on my neck along with his lips on mine.

Paul's mouth lingered perfectly on mine while his lips lightly brushed against my own. In an effort just to touch more of the wolf my right hand came to grip his thigh closest to me. His hand left mine and came to the one I had just put on his leg and he gently tugged it toward his inner thigh. He pressed it firmly to the material of his shorts and against his leg. His breath hitched and his heart banged in his chest, yet his lips never wavered and the hand on my neck pulled my face impossibly closer causing the kiss to become a needy one.

My pants were quick to tighten, especially since we were out in public and the thought was pretty erotic. Sure, we were hidden by the car, but anybody could still walk by and Paul didn't seem to care one bit. That in and of itself made me feel so damn special and I knew right then that he couldn't possibly be embarrassed or ashamed of me if he was willing to be so intimate together where _anybody_ could catch us.

It wasn't long until the wolf slowly pulled away, although he made no move to take my hand from his thigh – in fact he kept it snugly to him. He dropped his hand from my neck, yet not before he trailed a few affectionate kisses along the line of my jaw. "You can't know how good it makes me feel to kiss you." He whispered, his hot breath fanning across my ear as he nipped at the lobe of it. It gave me a shiver which made me to giggle like a little girl. Paul's grin was evidence of how obviously amused with the sound of my girlish laughter he was, and tenderly he pressed a sweet kiss to the corner of my upturned lips.

Shuffling as close as he could get to me, he took his hand from mine and wrapped his arm around my shoulders to pull me close to him. The wolf sighed, his moment of happiness fading. "I know it's not my place, but I'm going to ask you to do something." He paused to gauge my reaction; I nodded and waited for him to continue. "When it comes to your dad, angel, I don't want what he asked me to do to come between you two. You, Rachel, Jake, and Riley are his world. When it comes to you four he sees in black and white. Everything is either bad or good, right or wrong, and yes or no. Right now he thinks I'm wrong for you because in certain ways I have affected you badly, so I'm a big no in his books when it comes to his boy.

"I know when he told me to leave this morning he wasn't doing it with malicious intent. I know he thinks I'm going to hurt you, that I'll break your heart, and probably lots of other terrible things. And, honestly, I can't blame him. I haven't given him one good reason to think otherwise. I've done a lot of crazy and fucked up things that he's witnessed. Yeah, I've gotten rid of the labels in my room and rearranged my clothes, but in the grand scheme of things that stuff means nothing. At this point he doesn't think I can change and after over a decade of knowing me and me doing jack shit to better myself why the hell should he?

"Just think about it, Ryan, if you had a son like yourself and guy just like me came along and imprinted on your boy what would you do? You'd want him the fuck gone. Your dad loves the hell out of you and the fact that he's willing to sacrifice his best friend for you proves that. I know he cares about me, I've never doubted that, and it fucking hurts when he says some of the things he does, but I guess the truth does that. But, yeah, what I'm really asking is don't hold a grudge, be fucking proud and feel damn lucky that your dad loves you like he does. He wants absolutely nothing but the best for you and he's willing to go to any length to help you get it – you have no idea how much I envy you for it. My own dad was happy enough to see me rot in prison, yours, well, don't fuck things up just because he's trying to protect you." The wolf leaned over and gave me a tender kiss on the cheek with a slight squeeze of my shoulder. "When you go home today, hug your parents and tell them just how much you love them, because god knows I've been wishing I could do the same for nearly fifteen years."

I shook my head at the wolf in utter disbelief. "Shouldn't you hate my dad?" I queried.

He shook his head right back at me. "I adore his grace. Always have, always will. He's trying to keep my imprint safe and happy, even if it is from myself. I can't dislike that, although he has grown a bit of a complex..."

"A god complex?"

"Yeah," Paul chuckled. "I find it amusing, though. I think it started around the time I left all those years ago."

I turned my head to catch his eyes. "Paul, did my dad have anything to do with you leaving for those five years?" I questioned.

The wolf gave me a sad smile as he placed his free hand on the hand that I still had on his thigh. "I wish, angel, but that was my mistake." He let out a sigh as he rose to his feet, pulling me with him. "I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere, so I hope that counts for something."

I nodded and smiled up at Paul. "It kind of counts for everything, but, Paul, are you going to be alright staying at James' where Eric is?"

"Yeah," He breathed while he dug a hand into the pocket of his shorts and took out the keys to the car to hand them over. "I'm not exactly thrilled, I suppose I could stay at a hotel or something, but I'd really rather be at James' even with Eric there. Anyway, what are you planning on telling your parents about my whereabouts? I'm thinking you should probably just tell them the truth."

I shrugged. "I don't know, if my dad wants you gone it's not going to settle him if you're only a few miles away and I can still see you whenever I want. I think it's best if we just let him cool down for a while, get you on the right track, and see where it goes from there." I told him.

The wolf nodded and stepped close so he could steal a small kiss. "Do what you think is right. I'm going to get going now, though. Plus, you're parents are going to be wondering where you are by now."

I gave him a pouty frown and knitted my brows together. "You don't want a ride? James' place is a bit of a ways on two feet."

He shook his head and smiled. "Nah, I'm good. I'm going to use the time to think about what I really want to do. But, um, Ryan, earlier, when I said I wanted to prove everybody wrong and get better, I mainly meant I wanted to prove it to myself. For years I've been this useless mess with no motivation or will to even try to get better because it all just seemed so fruitless. Had Edward told me to disappear any time before last night I probably would have, but he's right about something, really right. I am so fucking selfish. I felt your lips on mine last night and I knew in that moment that's exactly where I _always _wanted to be.

"I have never in my life felt something so perfect as you, and nothing Edward could have ever said would have convinced me to leave you. The only way I would is if those words came from your mouth, yet so long as you want me, then, by god, I'm yours. And, angel, James was wrong about one thing, it wasn't your dad that motivated me, it was you, it was that first kiss. It was then I realized I wanted to make all your dreams come true and that I desperately needed to fix myself. That kiss made me decide that I was done being coward, I was done with the fear, done with the anxiety, and really fucking done with my past.

"I know I can't snap my fingers and be perfect for you, though believe me when I say I'm going to do everything I can to get that way. Yet, like I said, I'm selfish, really selfish, because I'm not just doing this for you, but mostly for me. I'm so tired, and I'm done, just _done_. I am ready to finally live. I _want_ to live. I want a life full of happiness, laughter, friends, family, and you. And, honestly, I don't care how hard it is or how long it takes me to get there; I'm going to have that life." When he finished his speech he let out a huge sigh which he followed up with an awfully big and beautiful grin. "Now kiss me."

"What?" I chuckled.

He tugged me to him as he held onto that grin of his. "I want you to kiss me." He kindly requested. Of course I wasn't going to deny him, not after him telling me my lips were magical. Okay, not magical, but a motivator. I like magical better. I touched my tan hands to his copper cheeks and brought his head down so I could sweep my lips across his. I smiled into this kiss because he was too and it just so happened to be incredibly contagious. The wolf let out an adorable little chuckle against my mouth. "I'm so in love with you, Ryan." He murmured through his slight laughter as our lips drifted apart while my hands fell back to my sides.

I smiled up at Paul. "And it only took you how long to realize this?" I teased.

He took a step back from me as he stuck his hands in his pockets. "Well, you know, it's probably better now rather than when you were nine or something. It's probably good to know I'm not _that _fucked up, although I still feel like a bit of creep for kissing my best friend's son, especially since said best friend is the same age as me. I feel like squad cars could come rolling up anytime to haul me away."

I couldn't help but laugh at the wolf. "I was legal when I turned sixteen, plus you look the same age as me, so it's hardly weird."

"Or you look my age, yet that _hardly_ makes you twenty-nine."

I rolled my eyes with a huff breath. "You may be twenty-nine, but you certainly don't act like it. More like..." My voice trailed off as I thought about an appropriate age for him.

"A toddler?" He laughed.

"Well, I wasn't going to say _that_." I happily chortled while I crossed my arms over my thin t-shirt.

The wolf smiled warmly at me. "I think I'm going to need to make a list of all the things I need to improve. One: Maturity. Two: My temper. Three-"

"Masturbation." I interrupted with goofy grin.

The wolf shook his head at me. "Why does it always come back to my dick?" He sighed. "Between you and James, I swear..."

"Yes, well, the sooner you get your... _dragon_ trained," James would be so proud of me if he heard me use his stupid analogy. "The closer I'll be to getting a piece of it." I was going to say 'getting to ride it', but that stirred up _way _to much imagery in my mind. I wouldn't want to send the poor wolf away screaming.

Paul smirked at me. "Only a piece?" He nonchalantly queried, causing my jaw to nearly drop.

"Paul Lahote," I breathed. "Did you just flirt with me?"

With his thumbs sticking out of his pockets and his body positioned in quite the cocky and confident manner his smirk broadened. "You liked it. I know you did."

"Yeah, well, I suggest you give me a kiss and be on your merry way before I get the urge to see if your dragon actually exists since you're so insistent on hiding him."

With his smirk fading into a smile the wolf stepped forward as he took his hands from his pockets and gave my lips a light kiss. He then stepped off the curb and took a few paces backwards into the parking lot. "He exists. He got the taste of freedom in the shower this morning and he wouldn't stop flying."

"Seriously?" I laughed in question. "Did you pet him?"

He nodded as he took a few more steps backward. "A little."

I grinned. "Did he like it?" I asked.

Again he nodded, this time with a slightly uncomfortable look on his handsome face. "Oh yeah, he did. But, me, on the other paw, was rather apprehensive. I mean, I ignored my dragon for about fifteen years now. I had no fucking clue how he was going to react to some close contact." The wolf explained.

"Did he, uhh..."

"Breathe fire?" He chuckled. I blushed and nodded my head yes. "No, we're going to have to work on trust before we start preforming tricks together."

I smirked, feeling way too frisky for my own good. "Paulie, admittedly, I am so looking forward to being part of your act someday." I probably sounded like such a skank, but I didn't care one bit. It was true. The truth shall set your free, or so they say. I'd rather it be my penis being set free, however.

The wolf smirked right back at me. "To be honest, I don't know much about dragons, especially in pairs. Though, I kind of figure two ought to be_ way _better than one." He, what? Flirted, teased, made a simple observation? I didn't know, but I certainly liked the sound of it. Paul's smirk turned into a loving little smile. "Have a good evening, angel, and try not to give your parents too much grief." He said while he turned his back to me while sticking his hands back in his pockets as he headed through the parking lot.

"Love you, Paulie!" I called after him.

He gazed over his shoulder at me while he kept walking and his soulful eyes met mine. "Love you too, sweetheart."


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter Twenty-five**

I knocked on my parents' bedroom door, a little concerned that they weren't in their office like they typically were before dinner. After several moments my father came to the door, my dad standing a few yards behind him. My father was dressed normally in a baggy pair of cutoffs that hung below his knees, leather boots, and a well fitted t-shirt, yet my dad, on the other paw, looked haggard and wasn't sporting his usual fancy attire, but was instead dressed in a pair of black sweats and a matching hoodie. They were clearly a few sizes to large which was evidence enough that he was wearing my father's clothes. I knew what that meant very well – he was distressed and upset, and wore the clothes for the comforting scent of his husband.

I looked past my father to find that my dad's eyes were a startlingly black. He was either thirsty or just as distraught as I believed him to be; perhaps he could even be both. "Ryan, now's not a very good time." My father told me.

My dad's dark eyes met mine and I frowned in concern. "Are you okay?" I asked him. He nodded and mumbled a yes – he was such a bad liar when this worked up.

Abruptly he started to shake his head no while he walked forward. "I might have made a mistake." He breathed as he paused in front of me and beside my father. "I need to speak with Paul. Is he in his room?" I shook my head while I feigned a memory and imagined myself sitting in my dad's car waiting for the wolf outside the therapist's office. I pictured the digital clock and the hours going by. I replayed James' words of assurance in my head from a phone call him and I faked for just this moment. I pictured myself driving home, worried tears in my eyes for my wolf, while I repeated to myself that something must have upset him at his appointment and he ran home. Then finally I let the image of Paul's room empty of him flicker across my mind.

My dad's head whipped to the side to look at my father. "We're sending out the guards. All of them." He stated firmly. He pressed past me into the hallway with a look of fear and desperation on his face.

I turned in his direction as he passed me. "What's going on? What do you mean you might have made a mistake?" I questioned.

My father stepped into the door frame with me and placed a large russet hand on my shoulder. I craned my neck to gaze up at him. "He told Paul to leave, puppy." He sadly informed me.

I heard the sound of my dad sucking in a panicked breath and I moved my eyes back to him. "I suggested it." He shifted his blackened gaze to my father. "But how was I supposed to know that he lied? His mind said nothing of the contrary when we spoke."

My thin brows pinched together. "He lied, lied about what?" I inquired.

Father squeezed my shoulder. "Dad called his therapist."

My dad nodded. "A couple hours ago I called the therapist's office to cancel all of his appointments. The wolf specifically told me it was a waste of his time and that he wasn't even talking to her. I wasn't going to continue paying for a service he wasn't using, yet only an hour or so ago Esme Cullen called me personally after getting wind of the cancellations from her secretary. She questioned why I had so suddenly cancelled when the wolf was doing so well with her." He  
confessed. "If I had known this..."

Feeling exceptionally irritable all the sudden I pressed a hand to my forehead. "Do you not know Paul at all?!" I exclaimed. "He feels humiliated and weak having to go there. He even asked to have what happens there, stay there – meaning, he does the time and the work needed while I let him be and don't bring it up unless he does. Look, dad, you grew up in a lab, you had organs removed and drugs pumped into you, yet look how you turned out. Then there's Paul who spent six months in prison and he came out completely broken. He doesn't say it, but I know how much he looks up to you and in his eyes you seem to be Mr. Do-No-Wrong. Just today he told me how he adored you, but that still doesn't mean you don't intimidate him. You're king and you're strong, then there's him. He was acting tough, like he didn't need the therapy because he was embarrassed, and if you spent less time picking him apart to find the bits you don't like, maybe you'd have noticed that."

With a sigh my father went to my dad and gave him a few soft kisses on the lips while he ran his hands through his husband's messy hair. "I told you you're a fucking idiot. I even tried to tell you that the damn wolf is way too much of a 'nice guy' to waste someone's money on himself. But, babe, did you listen to me?" My dad shook his head no in response. "And did you go behind my back and do exactly what I told you not to do by telling Paul to hightail it out of here?" My dad nodded his head yes. "Are you aware that you made an entirely rash decision based on the events of last night and acted purely on emotion?" Again my dad nodded. "Do you realize that it's normal to want to protect your puppy and perhaps separate the two from each other to give them some space, yet entirely insane to jump to the scary extreme of 'my best friend must _die_ for the welfare of my child'?" My dad offered up a third nod, the air around us feeling quite melancholy with his demeanour. "Would you agree that the weight of the kingdom and some things at home have been wearing you down for a while now and maybe it's time you take a break from this king stuff and let me take the reins?"

My dad frowned and pressed his pale hands to the front of my father's t-shirt. "I don't want you getting overworked." He murmured.

Father chuckled and placed another kiss to my dad's cool lips. "A couple months without your help won't kill me. You've had me sitting on the sidelines for years now and I never complained because I know how much you love being king, but, baby, I didn't marry a prima donna, yet somehow I ended up with one. God knows I'll take you anyway I can get you; though, truthfully, I really miss the old Eddie. You might have met him once upon a time; he came to his own royal wedding in nothing but a nice pair of pants and white dress shirt because he was just that nervous and couldn't bear to wear the rest of his clothes because he felt he was suffocating in them. You had humility back then; it was one of the best things about you."

My dad's face screwed into a look of emotional pain and I felt it safe to assume that if he could make tears he'd probably have them. "I just want to be the best dad and king I can be."

"Sending Paul off on some suicide mission won't make you either of those. A king doesn't give up on his people, especially the good ones. You _know_ Paul is a good one, and you know he'd do _anything _for our baby boy. So what if Paul's got issues? I've got issues, you've got issues, Ryan's got issues, everybody's got fucking issues up the wazoo, but you've lost your patience, Ed. Fate doesn't go handing out imprints willy-nilly, there is always a reason why the two are connected. Maybe the reason is obvious, or maybe you'll never quite know and can only suspect. But, you, Ed, have no right to fuck with fate because I promise you fate will always win. Paul is meant to be with our son whether you like it or not, if they'll be lovers I can't say, and unless you kill the wolf with your own bare hands they'll find a way to be together. Nothing you say will change that fact. I've stayed out of their business because I know everything will fall into its proper place over time, yet you, _you_, you can't help but meddle if things aren't going the way you see fit. You may think you're persuasive and Paul is a gullible idiot, but I think you'd be fooling yourself." My father looked over his shoulder at me and met my eyes with his friendly brown ones. "Tell your dad where Paul is before we find out vampires can still shit themselves."

I gave my father a clueless look which caused him to turn around completely with a huff of breath and give me a stern glare. "You'd be in hysterics if your 'Paulie' was actually missing. So, where is he?" He firmly questioned.

I sighed. "He's at James'." I admitted.

My dad scrubbed his hands across his face as he took a step away from the two of us. "I should go get him, bring him home." He told us.

"Dad," I breathed. "Paul doesn't want to come home."

Both my parents' brows furrowed as they looked at me in confusion. "Of course Paul wants to come home." My father said.

I shook my head. "He wants his own home now. He's going to start working with James too." I explained.

My dad squeezed his eyes shut while he pressed his thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose. "I'm such a fucking asshole." He breathily whimpered. In a flash and with a chilly gust of air my dad brushed past me going into his room. I heard the slam of a door telling me he went to hide away in the washroom.

I gazed at my father. "Will dad be alright?" I queried.

He nodded with an exhale of breath. "Yeah, Riley's been giving him a rough time and he kind of feels like the whole addiction ordeal is all his fault. Something about being enabler, I don't know. I think last night was just a little bit too much for him, you know, with Paul destroying the kitchen, the Aro thing, then you saying... well, what you said."

I moved a few paces to him and was quick to bury my face against his warm chest along with slinging my arms around his waist to hug him tight. "I'm so sorry." I apologized. "I shouldn't have said any of that."

His strong arms rose to embrace me as he tucked a kiss into my hair making me feel extra loved and protected. "A prince doesn't apologize for speaking the truth, puppy. There's nothing I can ever say or do that will ever undue or make up for the awful things I've done, but I keep on plugging away and hopefully one of these days the good I've done will far outweigh the bad."

I clenched the back of his shirt in my hands. "You accomplished that years ago." I mumbled while nuzzling against him, my wolf purring and me just happy to feel someone so special close. I really was a horrible son; I didn't do this nearly enough. I know my father loved me close and I know he hardly felt entitled because of our early history. I really was awful... all the things I said. If anything I was the one that didn't deserve him. He was broken way back when, just like my Paulie is now. But, he's better now and I need stop bringing the past up. The past is done, and I'm done being a bad dog.

"Enough about me." My father sighed as he took a step back and placed his hands on my shoulders while he looked into my eyes. "How do you feel about Paul leaving? I've noticed that you two have been spending a lot of time in each other's rooms during the nights" I was certain my cheeks turned the shade of a cherry red fire truck. My father grinned at me as he dropped his hands to his sides. "Busted."

"How did you know?"

"This is my home, I know everything." He paused for a moment to let me absorb the information. "_Everything._" He deadpanned. My green eyes widened, that sounded utterly frightening.

I shook my head. "You're just trying to scare me."

Father shook his head right back at me. "Why would I want to scare my baby boy? It's just a fact, I'm king and I know everything." He said with a curt nod of his head.

I smirked at him. "You think you know everything, therefore you know nothing." I confidently stated as I crossed my tan arms over the light green fabric of my V-neck t-shirt.

He quirked a dark brow seeming intrigued. "Aw, thank god, and here I am trying to restrain myself from strangling that blonde haired human of yours each time I see him. Yet, as it turns out I know nothing. Wonderful, lovely actually! I'm quite relieved that James never did take part in masturbating with you in your bed on multiple occasions when he snuck into your room in the middle of the night, good news!" I felt myself get woozy, that's the very last thing I ever wanted my father to know or speak about. "_Everything_."

My lips moved, though no sound came out. I felt speechless and mortified. My father smiled at me. "You know what I love about Paul?" He questioned and I shook my head no, my cheeks so hot they could nearly burst into flames. "It's partly because he treats his dick like it's some alien being that could potentially destroy him and world if it were ever to be unleashed, so I really don't have to worry about the thing going near you. However, it's that with him attached at your hip I no longer catch dogs and leeches alike drooling which saves me the urge to murder."

I furrowed my brows. "Drooling over me?" I didn't get it.

My father smiled at me. "And you know what I love about you? That you're so wonderfully oblivious." He playfully cooed.

I gave him an incredulous gaze. "Are you saying guys think I'm hot?" I asked.

He leaned slightly to the side as he rested most of his weight on one leg. "Look, when I was your age all I wanted was ass. I'd fuck girls, but what I really, really wanted was a nice tight ass belonging to a different male night after night..." His voice trailed off and his eyes went to the right as he clearly reminisced.

I crinkled my nose. "Father, you're disturbing me." I complained.

My father let out a huff of breath as his eyes came back to mine. "Whatever, anyway, what I was going to say was guys were harder to get, even for a prince, especially when I was trying to be all suave and discreet about it. But, if I had your face, dear god, I'd have had guys lining up to get in my bed. I would have had the best guys too; the curious straight ones that are just begging to have their prostates milked."

My eyes nearly bulged from their sockets and I fought the urge to gag while I thought of my father with a face like mine doing such provocative activities. "I don't think dads are supposed to talk to their son's like this." I squeaked in horror.

My father chuckled. "Pup, we're wolves, this is what we do. We fuck, and when you start, which I suggest you should never because I'll slaughter whoever lays their paws, cold hands, or mitts on you, you'll understand."

I raised my brows in amusement. "You're kind of a sexist pig. If I looked all masculine and huge like you I know for a fact you'd be encouraging me to get laid and high five me each time I did, yet because you think I have a pretty face you believe I'm some dainty princess that needs protecting from all the horny boys. If you hadn't noticed no horny boys want me."

Again my father chuckled. "I don't think you're dainty or a princess and like I said I love that you're oblivious. You've got a special look to you, males notice you, and, I don't know, maybe I do treat you differently because of it. You're just... special; you're too good for the whole promiscuous thing. You're better than that." My father gave me a big stupid grin. "And as your loving and _perfect_ daddy I feel compelled to make sure you keep your virtue intact. There _might_ have been a few _or_ a lot of times where I oh so kindly told a dude that if he touches you he dies a ridiculously gruesome and terrible death."

My face fell blank. "It would have been nice if you at least let some of them approach me. I would have appreciated the confidence boost." I told him.

Father looked at me like I was crazy. "Hell no! The last thing I want is _you_ interested in any of them. Why do you think I put up with James sneaking into your room? You weren't interested in going any further with him. Oh, and I'll have you know that it's especially convenient for me that you're head over heels in love with Paul – it's like he's your personal man repellant, especially since he claimed you."

It was my turn to look at my father like _he _was the crazy one. "I have obviously _not _had sex with Paul." I quite seriously stated.

My father burst out in laughter. "Keep your mind out of the gutter, child!" He teased while he reached forward and ran his fingers along the chain around my neck to tug the rest of it out from under my shirt. He held the gold wedding ring that was attached to the chain in his palm. "That wolf has definitely claimed you, or at least marked you as his for everybody to see." My dad dropped the necklace and looked up to meet my gaze. "Does he make you happy, puppy?"

I smiled as I thought of Paul. "Lately... incredibly." I was pleased to admit. Although, my cheeks heated at the thought of what I knew I had to confess next. "Paul, well, he..." Somehow I found my blush dissipating as huge goofy grin spread across my lips because I was just that happy about it. "The wolf _finally_ kissed me!" I exclaimed. Sadly, my excitement was short lived because almost right after my sentence exited my mouth my dad came through the bedroom doorway into the hall and stood beside my father.

Dad still looked like a wreck, actually he looked worse. My father was quick to pull him into his side and wrap a comforting arm around him. My dad blinked and licked his lips awkwardly while he seemed to look for the right words to say. "Paul, did he..." My dad started, though stopped as he thought some more. He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Paul, was he okay? Did he show any discomfort?"

I shook my head no, then nodded yes slightly. "Maybe for the first one. He was shaking like a leaf." I informed the two.

My father cocked his head with raised brows. "The first one?" He deadpanned. "How many times has he kissed you?"

I giddily shrugged. "Well, I only got one last night, but today there were lots and they were all so perfect! Plus, he even tells me they're perfect. He says they feel good and that he's _in love_ with me." I didn't care if my dad was about to freak, I wanted to brag, I needed to brag. I've been dreaming of the day I could say all that since I was only five-years-old.

My dad's hands came up to press at his eyes as if he were holding back tears and my father angled his body towards him. "Baby, what's wrong?" He softly queried.

My dad bit his bottom lip while he shook his head. "I need that break, Jacob. I told someone I'm supposed to love that he was selfish for being reluctant to go off and die. I told him his life was ruined, and I told him I wished he had died during all those years he left." Instead of comforting my distraught dad my father looked to me. He was judging my reaction to what dad had just said and he was silently asking me if I needed him.

With Paul's voice ringing loud in my ears I mouthed that I was okay and reluctantly took a few steps forward. With a long sigh I pressed myself to my dad and held him in a tight embrace with my arms around his waist. "I love you, dad." And it was the truth, I did love him, there wasn't an ounce of me that didn't. He'd get a free pass this time. God knows I've been given a lot of those lately. I'd forget about all of this. Everybody does shitty things sometimes, even parents, even kings. I had to take into account that what he did was out of love just like Paul said. My dad wanted the wolf gone because he was scared for his son and I tortured that vampire because I was furious he abused my wolf. I find it odd that some of the worst things are done with the best intentions. Is it love that makes us crazy? Is it the person we're in love with that causes us to go nuts, or were we already a little out of our minds to begin with?


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter Twenty-six**

My paws thumped along the forest floor and my heart pounded in my chest with excitement. I hadn't even gone twenty-four hours without Paulie, but I was dying to feel his lips on mine. After a restless nights sleep without being able to feel him in the palace safe and sound I was anxious, especially since the wolf had his cell off all last night and nobody bothered to pick up James' land line – the human was too cheap for his own cell and of course he wouldn't let me... well my parents pay for one.

Anyway, James called me this morning telling to meet them along the river at noon. A little frustrated I told him I'd be late since I promised my parents that I've have lunch with them along with my mom, sister, and uncle Riley. My dad, still completely frazzled from the day prior, wanted to make us our meal. How someone who can't even taste food can make such delicious things I'll never know. Rachel and I helped out; okay, I helped out Rachel mainly got in the way, but she was cute while doing it, so I was hardly perturbed.

During lunch nobody mentioned how off dad seemed, who was yet again wearing my father's clothes, though my irritation grew when Riley wouldn't stop glaring daggers at my dad while he sipped at a cup of animals blood. I very nearly pulled a Paul and threw a plate in his face. Eventually father got sick of it and had the guards escort him back to his room and baby sit him. Only a few minutes later dad excused himself to go lay down. You know something's bad when a vampire wants to go to bed. Apologetically, father followed him up to their room and probably only a few minutes later my mom and Rachel took off to go shopping for bigger clothes for my sister. Feeling kind of lonely I invited two guards to help me eat the rest of the food. They refused to leave their posts, so I put the food in containers and stuck them in the fridge then grabbed the bag I had packed and headed off to the river.

I slowed to a mere trot as the trees began to clear and the sound of a lazily flowing river could be heard. Eventually my white paws crunched along rounded rocks and there was nothing but crystal clear water ahead of me, yet to my left, a dozen or so yards away where the river bank turned to smooth rock, sat my wolf clad in a colourful pair of board shorts which very clearly did _not _belong to him – the shorts looked cheery, Paul isn't cheery. Yet, that wasn't what concerned me, it was what was beside him.

A huge chocolaty brown wolf that has four white stocking legs and one white floppy ear was laying on his back with his tongue happily lolling out the side of his mouth as he poked Paul in the side with a leg that had no paw. Paul's brows furrowed as he batted the pawless leg away. "Would you quit fucking touching me with that thing? It freaks me out." He snapped as he glared down at the oversized alpha wolf.

Soon enough Paul looked away and skipped a few pebbles across the water ahead of him, although only moments later a shamed faced wolf scooted closer and nuzzled his damp leathery black nose against Paul's arm to get his attention. Paul flicked his eyes to the pathetic looking wolf. "Yeah, I get it, you're sorry." He grumbled and the wolf let out a blubbering whimper in reply. "I don't know what the fuck that's supposed to mean, but I'll take it as: Paul, you're awesome, and goddamn do I ever love you."

The wolf nodded with a huff of breath through his snout as he wriggled his way closer to Paul to lay his head in his lap. The wolf made eye contact with Paul then flicked his eyes to his furry chest and stomach, brought them back up, then back down, only to bring them right back up again. Paul shook his head. "There's not a chance in hell I'm giving you a belly rub." He firmly told him.

The wolf adoringly gazed up at him and gave him a slight yip. "Don't look at me like that." Paul sighed. The wolf's pink tongue emerged and he went to give Paul's arm a lick, though abruptly and roughly Paul smacked the wolf across the muzzle earning him a sharp whine. "Try to kiss me again, Eric, and I'll rip that ugly tongue right from your face and throw it into the river to feed it to the fishes."

"So," James breathily said as he suddenly stepped in front of me. He was soaked to the bone, his swim trunks dripping on the rocks and his wavy blond hair wet and let loose from its typical spot behind his neck. "You're probably wondering what alternate reality you walked into." I let out a low growl just after I dropped the bag to the ground that I held in my jaws.

James raised a damp hand and scratched behind one of my ears to calm my irritated nerves. "I was going to tell you over the phone, but I figured you had to see it to believe it. Let me tell you what happened..."

* * *

_Point of View: James_

I couldn't tell if I was out of my damn mind or if blondes really were idiots. Why I ever thought inviting the enemy into my own home was appropriate beats the hell out of me. Granted, Paul really wasn't the enemy, in fact I kind of liked the lunatic, but, still, in the deep, dusty, and long forgotten about recesses of my mind I could swear I heard a slight murmuring of thoughts telling me to hate the dog that stole my prince. I would never and could never do that – I don't even think I'm capable of hate. I've tried to hate Eric on many occasions, didn't work and I probably only ended up loving my shitty brother more. Fuck my heart.

I'm not one to complain and I don't, but sometimes life kicks my ass and gets me down. The first time I laid my eyes on Ryan I knew that was the _woman_ for me. Cut me some slack, I was eight and I didn't understand how someone so pretty and perfect could be a boy. Everybody told me he was male, but it never stuck. However, it certainly stuck after a long day playing at a park then using the washroom afterwards. I was doing my business, yet when the prince of all people came up and used the urinal beside me I definitely had a revelation.

Being the creepy little eight-year-old I was I leaned to the side to peek, you know, to just make sure, and to my utter dismay he was _definitely_ a boy. It was quite a shocker, yet my lovey-dovey feelings for the prince didn't falter in the slightest. I didn't question it since I knew boys could be together and figured we were still meant to be regardless of the same genitalia. I finally confessed my love for him when I was sixteen – Ryan was fourteen and fucking gorgeous – and I couldn't stop once I did, though I always got a little disheartened every time he'd reply by telling me he was going to marry Paul one day and not me. I never gave up hope, though. When I was younger I always assumed when Ryan shifted he'd imprint on me and we'd get a happily ever after, plus I'd become a prince and that would be wicked as hell – I'd have a butler named Jeeves and he'd feed me chocolate cake while I had a hot vanilla scented bubbled bath. I'd be living the dream, but clearly I was _fucking wrong_ about Ryan imprinting on me and I was extremely heartbroken, but I was still determined and decided we'd just have to do the whole love thing the good old natural way. That idea went to complete shit.

So, basically, long story short, Paul fucking Lahote ruined my life, but I'm a swell guy and kind of love him anyway. What can I say, the freak grew on me, you know, like a wart or something. I had started off team James, yet the more I got on with the wolf I found myself switching sides and pulling for team Paul. Team James certainly has a better ring to it, doesn't it? Team James... it just rolled off your tongue so nicely, but team Paul, no, it's like the after taste left on the back of your tongue after you puked a bit in your mouth. I could be biased, though.

Anyway, Paul was like that one awkward lanky kid in gym class that was always picked last. When it's the kid's turn up to bat and a pack of puppies is shamelessly shouting that the ugly blue eyed orphan boy is going to strike out you're fervently thinking, 'god have mercy, let the poor kid hit the fucking ball'. He doesn't, not that he stood a chance anyway because the fucking dog who threw it at the measly blonde little human aimed for his face! A broken nose, two black eyes and six stitches later his foster dad comes to pick him up from the emergency room. He reeks like beer and calls the kid a pussy. The kid snaps and stabs the man right in the jugular with a goddamn fork! Okay, scrap that last bit, I only ever dreamt of doing that to the prick... I don't know how I got to talking about myself. I don't even know where I was going with this.

I guess what I'm trying to say is Paul is awkward and lanky at life. I get that and it fucking sucks, but it doesn't suck half as bad when you've got good buddies to tell you when your shit stinks and to pass you an air freshener. Paul's a good wolf. I mean, I could treat Ryan better, love him better, and generally give him _everything_ better, yet because the stupid pooch is so pathetic I can't help but root for him. There's something special about seeing an underdog succeed, especially when you helped train the thing. As it turns out old dogs really can learn new tricks. Patience and consistency, I tell you. Patience and consistency.

Paul's cute, though, you know, in that hopeless he probably should have been euthanized a long time ago kind of way. Okay, so the cur on the outside isn't so cute, kind of funny looking if you ask me – I'm definitely the better looking one. Come on, wavy blonde hair, ocean blue eyes, and a body to die for, you can't beat that! Sure, the mongrel has nice copper skin, wash board abs, a glorious smile, and a laugh that makes me feel all girly with delight. Yeah, so he's kind of catch, and I get why Ryan's pants practically tent every time he sees the fur ball. With that said if I were into dudes – Ryan does _not_ count. James = heterosexual – _Paulie_ would not be my type. I'd want a smaller boy. One that I could wrap up in my arms and one that would have to rise to his toes to kiss me.

I'd love him to have a shy smile, a slim waist, and soft hands – the absolute opposite from my callused ones from work. I'd like hair that I could brush out of his eyes and each time I did my heart would flutter just a bit when I'd get a glimpse of his beautiful long eyelashes... Wow, that makes me sound _so _fucking gay, but, oh well, it's all hypothetical anyway. I think. Well, yeah, it is. Definitely is. Maybe. Probably. _No_, it's completely hypothetical... I hope – _not _that I have anything against gays, obviously. I just don't want to be one, and with Ryan, even though he had a lot of _not_ vagina between his legs it didn't make me feel gay. He's too pretty to make me gay. He makes Paul a flaming queer, though, don't know why. Just how I feel. I'm okay with being a little hypocritical, or a lot – whatever makes me feel better.

So, moving on. Last night was... I don't even know. It was super awkward between Eric and Paul at first, and we're talking so awkward that the awkwardness permeated the entire flat and my roomies felt the need to take off for the evening so the wolves could get better acquainted. I put on some random flick just to try and drown out the silence and tension. Part way through my bro breaks down and starts begging Paul for his forgiveness. He went off about how what he to did to Paul was so terrible and sick. Eric got all teary and flustered, it was pathetic and I just wanted to punch him, and I seriously would have if I enjoyed the feel of mashed bones in my hand. Anyway, Paul just told him to shove it and fuck off.

Only minutes later Paul saw the game of Monopoly on a dusty old shelf and mentioned something about how he loved it when he was young. He then looked very seriously at my brother and said that he was a pro at it, that nobody had ever beat him, but if the mutt wanted to take a chance he'd like to see him miserably fail, yet if by some miracle he won then he'd be willing to forgive him completely and put the whole mess behind them for good.

Eric obviously took the bait, but I wasn't about to sit there and watch a lousy game of Monopoly, so I spiced it up a bit and brought out the hard liquor and two shot glasses and told them that each time they ended up in jail or on each other's property they had to take a shot... Yeah, they got fucking plastered, and it was awesome! It's so much better to see people getting along – they argued like siblings, fought over game rules since the instructions were long lost, and slung funny drunken insults at each other.

The game was gradually forgotten about by the two and Paul at some point had moved off the floor from one side of the coffee table to the other side to sit on the ratty old couch beside Eric while they had argued. Currently, they'd been silent for awhile and I could tell they were starting to sober up. Eventually Paul looked over to his right at my brother and sighed. "Eric, you're not so bad now that the royal leech isn't latched onto your neck and that stick is out of your ass." He commented with a slight slur in his speech.

Eric met the wolf's eyes and sighed as well. "I miss him. I miss him a lot, but I can't move back, not to the palace. When I see Riley all I want to do is hold him near, yet as soon as I imagine him close I desperately want him to feed from me. I don't know what's going to happen between us." He sadly admitted with a slight slur of his own.

Paul nudged his arm. "Did you fuck him?" He shamelessly asked and my eyes widened. I tossed aside the sports magazine I had been skimming through to pay better attention to the two and pulled the lever on the side of the recliner to get more comfortable. Eric rose an incredulous brow and Paul shot him an annoyed glare with the lack of an answer. "Well, did you?"

Eric shook his head. "No, and I never want to. He kissed me a few times, it was always really weird and awkward. I really am only attracted to girls, but when he started feeding from me I got all my sexual release from him and being so close I never felt like I wanted a relationship with some random chick. I guess it kind of felt like we were together even though we weren't." He sluggishly explained. "You pork your prince yet?" Paul's nose crinkled and he shook his head. "Yeah, didn't think so. I'd say you're missing out when it comes to sleeping with your imprint, but I don't fucking know myself. I was either too young for Lauren, too immature or too this or too that. Out of the few years I was with her I never even saw her naked. She kissed me, but more like a mother would."

Paul furrowed his brows. "But, you're glad you're not with her, right?"

Eric sullenly shook his head no. "She's my imprint, there's nothing in the world I want more than her, although there are times when I'm okay with how things worked out. I don't want to look like a little bitch and have people pitying me, especially her, so I've never admitted otherwise – I know you won't, so whatever. But, now, between fucking up with you, realizing what I've done to my brother, having to leave my home, distancing myself from Riley, feeling my wolf slowly slipping away, and losing nearly half an arm I've never felt my need for her so strong. I want to run to my imprint and have her make all my troubles go away. Pathetically, I tried this. She seemed so happy that I showed up unannounced. Turns out I was the perfect excuse for her and her husband to go out on a date night while I watched their daughter.

"Lauren's pretty much clueless to everything going on besides the fact that I live here now, yet she never even questioned why I had moved here. I don't even think she's looked at me long enough to realize I only have one hand and a fucking clunky metal collar around my neck, but I did a great job babysitting so I get to do it every Wednesday and Saturday evening while she goes out to have fun with her man. I guess I can't complain, he treats her better and gives her more than I ever could – too bad that doesn't make the ache lessen any."

With glossy eyes Paul stared at him for a few moments. "Hmm, well there's a first. I definitely don't envy you and I wouldn't want to be you if I had a choice. I honestly think your life is crap – now that's saying something. The only thing really wrong in my life is me, but you, well, you've got your hands... hand... paws full. Although, I think a lot of it could have been avoided if you weren't such a raging asshole."

Eric gazed at him blankly. "Fair enough." He grumbled.

Paul turned slightly to better face my brother. "I do pity you and I don't think I've ever done that before, or at least not since, well, ya know." Eric nodded in response as he leaned forward and filled up two shot glasses with alcohol while spilling a bunch of it all over the colourful Monopoly money.

With glazed drunken eyes softening he handed a glass to Paul. "I know sorry really means nothing, but I am and a whole hell of a lot of it. I know what I did was unforgiv-"

Paul shook his head and lightly kicked my brother's shin to get him to stop talking. "Look, I get it. You feel guilty and wish you didn't do it. I don't know what else I could really ask for from you so just shut the fuck up about it." He berated. "As long as you learnt something constructive that can help you move forward in your miserable life I'm not complaining. Besides, everything following you being chucked off that cliff has been pretty peachy for me." Paul lifted his glass and gave him crooked grin. "Cheers."

Eric chuckled as they clanked their glasses together. "Cheers." With that said they leaned their head back to down the liquid and at the same time they hissed at the burn of it while their heads came forward.

Paul took the glass from my brother's hand placed the two on the table. "Fuck." He breathily mumbled as he met Eric's eyes. "What you did was shitty, but not shitty enough that I want you to age and die because of it." The wolf brought his hand to Eric's collar and ran his fingers over it. "This thing has got to be hell for you." Paul sympathetically stated. My brother nodded as he turned his head away from the wolf to hide his pained expression.

"Close your eyes." Paul whispered.

Eric snapped his head back in Paul's direction to look at him in confusion with eyes that had reddened from holding back sorrowful tears. "Why?" He slurred in question.

"Shut up and do it before I change my mind." Paul snapped. Without hesitation Eric's eyes squeezed shut and Paul lifted his butt to remove his black leather wallet from the back pocket of his baggy cargo shorts. He opened it and stuck a finger in a compartment to remove a shiny little something that I wasn't able to catch sight of.

With a sigh he chucked his wallet toward the coffee table, though missed it almost entirely causing the wallet to thump on the spotty rug. He rolled his eyes and scooted closer to Eric, slowly leaning in. Feeling his presence a funny look came over my brother's face. "You're not going to kiss me are you?" He fretted.

Again Paul rolled his eyes as he raised a hand to Eric's neck. "Yeah, because the sexual tension between us is so thick it's uncanny." He sarcastically remarked. Following this I heard a loud click and with that click I gasped as I watched Paul remove my brother's collar.

Tears seeped through Eric's closed eyelids while his hand shot up to feel along his bare neck as Paul carefully placed the collar and what I could now see to be a little key on table in front of him. Eric's face virtually turned purple as he held back his emotions. In the end his eyes popped open right before he let out a loud joyous sob moments before his body exploded in a large brown and white wolf, knocking Paul over in the process.

My brother's huge furry body fell forward and slammed against the coffee table, completely obliterating it. In the mess Eric tried to pull himself to his three paws, yet only managed to stumble a bit and fall right back down – I wasn't sure if it was the alcohol talking or if he was having trouble balancing with one less paw. Actually, it was probably a bit of both.

The alpha wolf was determined however and once again lifted himself to his paws, though this time his body was tipping in the direction of the entertainment unit. Paul darted forward and grabbed the wolf trying to balance him, but he tugged on him a little too hard and the wolf's big furry body came to lean on him, pushing an inebriated Paul off balance causing him to tumble backwards into the mess of the coffee table. The large wolf followed after him and landed right on top of Paul.

"Eric, you stupid fuck!" Paul bellowed as he tried to shove the drunken wolf off of him, but to no avail. Eric rolled over onto his stomach, pining Paul to the floor with his upper half. He gazed down at Paul with the most adoring and thankful look of affection in his beady brown eyes. Paul scowled. "Lick me and you die." He growled. The wolf shook his head with a slight grunt – I assumed that meant he wouldn't, though the threat of death didn't stop him from laying his furry head on Paul to nuzzle his face and neck.

Once again Paul tried to shove him away, yet that only made Eric all the more insistent on showering him with appreciation. Paul let out of huff of breath once he decided it was just easier to lay there and let it happen. "This is far more sadistic than _anything_ you could have _ever_ put me through on those cliffs." He grumpily complained.

Later that night Paul explained that the wolf Ryan had killed had been holding the key to collar and that he was unaware that there was a spare until his grace removed it from the dead dog's pocket. When Ryan and his majesty had their backs turned to him while he put the king's clothes on he was able to scramble forward and grab it. He said at the time the only reason he took it was with the intention of giving it to me so I could choose Eric's fate if he ever showed up again. Though, after he 'hauled the beast back to the palace' he felt he had done quite enough for the wolf and didn't particularly want to risk having me take off the collar since he wanted the alpha to live with his consequences instead of immediately getting away with it. Paul also mentioned that he kept the key in his wallet for safe keeping since I was such a snoop and he figured I'd find it even if I he sewed inside his mattress. He's probably right.

My brother is yet to shift back and has been Paul's limply shadow ever since he phased. The wolf went out early in the morning, Eric tagging along, only to return with a brand new truck for himself, a coffee table for me and rug for the floor.

I crossed my arms and scowled at the wolf as he rolled up the old rug to chuck it out. "There's nothing fucking wrong with that rug." I told him.

He looked up from the floor and gazed at me like I had grown a dick from my chin. "It smells disgusting." He said with a crinkled nose.

I rolled my eyes. "That's only because you're not used to it yet." I retorted. His deranged brown eyes widened in disbelief. Okay, so I just added the deranged part for effect. If anything they were all caring and whatnot. Ugh, even I liked it when he looks at me like that. I can't imagine how Ryan feels when the wolf gives him his stupid lovey-dovey imprinted gaze.

Paul pointed to a large dark stain on the rug. "And what the fuck is that?" He queried.

I shrugged and smiled. "Blood I believe."

"James!" He exclaimed. "This thing needs to be burnt to rid the world of it!"

"It's clean blood! Caius spilt his drink. It's no biggy. You're being obsessive."

Paul shook his head while he eyed me like my chin had grown balls to go with its dick. "I'm not being obsessive, I'm being hygienic. How you, a human, haven't died in this place is a miracle. I don't think the dishes have been washed in weeks, the floors ever cleaned, and a single shelf ever dusted." Pfft, he was so full of it. We have specific set out dates for when we clean... which is frantically before Ryan comes to visit.

Anyway, now that the tension between Eric and Paul was gone my roomies said I could keep my new pet for as long as I wanted since he was such a good housewife. He had the place spic and span in no time. To be honest I didn't even know it was possible for my place to look and smell so fresh. I kind of thought the place came dingy. Turns out we're all just gross.

By the time he was done he was starved and I told him to help himself to whatever was in the fridge. With a scowl on his face he came back into the living room where I was killing zombies. He told me he wanted a little something more than pickles and mustard.

"Well, that's all we got. Payday isn't for another week." I explained while never taking my eyes off the television.

"Jamie," the wolf sighed. "You can't honestly live off that junk."

I paused the game and looked over at Paul. "Why do you think I never turn a meal down at the palace? I told you, I'm human so I get paid next to nothing, literally next to nothing because I can't even do a percent of the work the wolves and vamps can do in a day. The only guy that makes any decent money around here is Caius and he sends over half of it away to his sister, so he's pretty much in the poor house like the rest of us humans here." With an annoyed sigh he said he was going out. Eric, of course, followed.

Only forty-five or so minutes later he returned with half a fucking grocery store, I swear it. Once the cupboards and shelves were stocked full and the fridge was practically overflowing he proceeded to make everybody a ginormous and delicious brunch, including a nice big cup of blood for the vampire. His excuse for it was that he was used to eating like a king and he wasn't about to stop, plus he'd feel guilty eating well in front of us. None of us cared for his reasons, we were just grateful and silently prayed he'd keep feeding us these glorious meals for as long as he was here.

At 11:15am we picked Emily up from her place. My idiot brother was still refusing to shift back and happily rode in the bed of Paul's fancy schmancy truck. Fifteen minutes later we pulled up at the diner where Charlie requested we pick him up from.

I hopped out of the vehicle to be polite and greet him. As I jogged up to him I couldn't help but notice that he looked good, really good. Not at all bothered by the summer heat he wore a snugly fitting pair of black jeans, with a dark red and navy blue plaid shirt with the sleeves rolled to his elbows and he had the front of it buttoned half way up which revealed a tight black tank top underneath.

I blushed as I came to stand in front of him – I was completely intimidated by his charm, but I supposed that was just a vampire thing. In his fitted clothes I could tell he was slightly slimmer than Ryan and probably an inch or two shorter. His eyes were free of the light dusting of eyeliner I noticed him wearing yesterday – I figured it had something to do with swimming. I couldn't tell which way I preferred his eyes. Without it he looked sweeter and with it he looked kind of naughty. I think I equally liked both ways.

"Hi." Was all I managed to say as a greeting along with a nervous smile.

His cheeks paled. It was adorable. "Hey." He breathed, his own smile forming.

I pointed to the backpack hanging over his shoulder. "Want me to take that?" I questioned, although I instantly felt dumb for it. Here I was, a human, offering to carry something for a vampire. It seemed like the gentlemanly thing to do, though.

Charlie's smile brightened to show his straight white teeth and he handed over his bag. "Thanks." He murmured, his cheeks paling further. "I'm still really flattered from yesterday when you asked if you could see me again." His warm golden eyes flicked up and down my body, and I had to fight the urge to puff out my chest and stand up perfectly straight. "I'm really glad you asked me."

I grinned at the vampire. "Me too." I motioned toward the truck across the parking lot. "You ready to go?" He shyly nodded and I guided him there. I opened the back door for him and received a mighty beautiful smile for it. I got in after him, closing the door behind me.

Emily waved at him from the front seat. "Hey, in case you didn't catch my name yesterday, I'm Emily." She said and he silently waved back. She pointed to Paul with her thumb. "And that's Paul."

"His highness' boyfriend, right?" He questioned as the wolf turned around in his seat to look at the two of us.

Paul thought about the question for a second and nodded. "Yeah I am, are you going to be James'?" I just about crapped my pants with Paul's words, though thank god my brother chose that moment to stick his muzzle through the open window behind us.

Eric looked over at Charlie as he panted from the heat and blew the vampire's bangs out of his face. I tugged on his white floppy ear to get his attention. "Don't be weird and rude, Eric." I met Charlies eyes. "He's my brother."

The vampire gave me an amused little smile. "Can't say I see the resemblance."

"Oh, well, we have different dads – same whore mother." Charlie's eyes widened with surprise at my accusation. I shrugged. "I call it how I see it." Telling him my mother is – or was, she could be long dead for all I know – a whore probably wasn't the best thing to say on the first date. I mean, that's what he might think this is. Maybe I should correct him later. Maybe.

* * *

**Is it okay if I sneak James' point of view in every once in awhile? Do you want more of him? Less of him?**


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter Twenty-seven**

Fighting jealousy I slunk back into the trees with my bag between my teeth to shift and put on a pair of swim trunks. I wasn't jealous that Paul was close with a wolf other than myself or even a male for that matter, it was the fact that an alpha was all over him. I had been acting without thinking lately and the last thing I needed to do was rip another limb off Eric because he didn't know how to keep his paws off _my _wolf. It was mean and awful, and I certainly felt guilty for it, but I couldn't help that it upset me, plus I was kind of annoyed that Paul was so quick to forgive Eric. Although, I had to figure it was better than the alternative. The wolf hung on to so much pain and kept so many grudges that I found myself very proud of him for being able to let go of the negative feelings for once.

As I pulled up my shorts I heard a twig snap behind me and whipped around to see who was there. I was caught off guard when my eyes met Paul's and an immediate happy smile grew on his handsome copper face. "I thought I felt you near." He softly told me. The wolf walked up to me, the both of us clad except for our shorts. He brushed his fingers through my hair to the very tips of it where he then ran his hand down the length of my arm and laced his fingers with mine. "If the world was blank and all my eyes had to see was you I'd be the luckiest man there ever was and will be. I swear you grow more beautiful by the day."

Paul's spare hand came to the side of my ribs and he trailed the tips of his fingers to my front along the middle of my chest. He traced the ridge of my right collar bone and gradually brought his hand up to tuck some of my hair behind my ear. "Did you miss me?" He asked. Right then words meant nothing and lips meant everything. I rose to my toes, let go of Paul's hand, and slung my arms around his neck to pull him to me.

It made my heart flutter and my insides feel mushy when his mouth eagerly met mine. His hands pressed against my bare back igniting a fire within me and forcing me to deepen the kiss just to stop myself from melting completely. The wolf's tongue grazed my bottom lip causing my heart to pick up speed with the knowledge that Paul Lahote himself wanted to taste me. I did the same in reply as my hands slipped from his neck to his muscled chest.

I felt him smile slightly with my tongue against his lip and when one of my arms rounded him while four curious fingers swept over a nipple I nearly came in my shorts with the groan that vibrated against my mouth that Paul let out. His hands fell to my lower back, kneading the flesh along the way to feel all he could while his tongue entered my mouth with no trepidation, just want.

It was no surprise that I began to feel really frisky and the braver he got with his tongue against mine the more I dreamt of friction. Gradually, his hands made their way up my back and all the way to my face which he cupped in his hands. "Sorry." He breathed as broke the kiss. "I'm getting you all worked up." That's one way to put it.

I opened my eyes and just out of curiosity looked down at the front of Paul's board shorts. I knew it! I flicked my eyes back to his and gave him a flirty smirk. "I seem to have done the same to you." I probably shouldn't have said anything, but I couldn't help it since the scent of his arousal was intoxicating and I swear it was specifically telling me pull down my shorts and bend over. _God_, I'm such a slut in waiting... how I'd love for the wolf to shove me up against a tree, rip off my shorts, and use my body in every way he could think of to pleasure his own. Too bad I fear he might vomit out of fright if he saw my naked body with an erect penis anytime soon.

Paul offered up a timid little smile. "It was, uhh, what you did with your hand and my... yeah."

I grinned at my handsome wolf. "Nipple, Paul." I chuckled. "You can say nipple."

His cheeks brightened. "Yeah, nipple." He quickly said as his hands fell from me. With this new found information I decided that I should no longer be the only one who gets teased. I placed my palms on either side of his chest and I gently pushed him rearward a few feet until his back was against a large trunk of a tree. Paul gave me an inquisitive gaze. "What are you doing?" He queried.

I didn't bother to answer his question since I figured my actions would speak far louder than words. Slowly, I ran my hands down his pecks, his ribs, the waves of his muscular abdomen, and to the bones of his hips that peeked out of the shorts that hung low on his waist. I lined my body with his, our skin touching, while my hands drifted around him and rested on his lower back between him and the tree.

Carefully I let the tips of my fingers just barely sneak beneath the waist of his shorts. Paul's breath hitched. "Stop." He breathlessly pleaded.

I brushed my lips up the smooth copper skin of his chest. "My hands aren't going any lower, I promise." I quietly and truthfully told him. I kissed my way across his clavicle towards his shoulder, and once there I playfully, though flirtatiously nipped. I parted my lips and glided them downward.

I reached his nipple, fanning my hot breath over it just before my pink tongue circled it. "Ryan..." Paul half whispered, half moaned.

I gazed up at him with innocent eyes. "You like that?" I murmured against him in the most seductive voice I could muster.

Paul nodded with his eyes staring intently into mine while I sucked at the sensitive flesh. "Very much." He breathed. I dropped my hands from the wolf while I grinned and stepped away from him. He furrowed his brows and I received a perplexed, why did you stop, kind of look – that only caused my grin to widen.

I took another step back and nodded in the direction of the river through the trees. "Ready for a swim?" I questioned.

The wolf shook his head. "Not even remotely." His words urged me to put my mouth back on him and I wanted to, I really, really wanted to, but I solemnly refused. It was finally my turn to leave _him _wanting more.

I turned my back to him, snatched up my bag, and darted off through the forest heading for the river. "Well I am!" I shouted over my shoulder as I sprinted through the trees while trying to ignore the annoying feeling of running with raging hard on.

I halted at the water's edge and chucked my bag toward James who sat with Charlie. They both had towels wrapped around their shoulders and their feet dipped into the water. The vampire's head was rested on the human's shoulder and was angled upwards so he could gaze up into James' blue eyes while he gazed down at him and chatted idly. I thought this looked pretty damn gay.

To my right Emily was laying on a towel sunbathing in a black bikini top and a baggy pair of boys basketball shorts. She had a book in hand and headphones in her ears, although I was not at all pleased to see that she was leaning against Eric's side to keep herself comfortably propped upright while she read. I scowled as I watched the alpha pant heavily in the heat with his eyes squinted in the sun and his mouth upturned in almost a smile like way. I did _not _like this new development at all. He wasn't just all over one of my wolves, but both.

I was about to yell something at him and make a fool out of myself when I heard the quick crunching of pebbles coming from behind me. Before I even had to time to look to my rear I found myself yelping as I was lifted right off my feet and being held to Paul in a bridal like fashion while he took off into the water.

I felt the cool refreshing river water reaching my bottom and I was fervently grabbing at my hair to keep the tips from getting wet. "Don't you dare get my hair wet, Paulie!" I vehemently exclaimed as I tried to get the hair tie off from around my wrist to put my _precious locks_ into a tight bun.

Paul's two dark brows pinched together and he shook his head at me. "Don't be such a girl." He teased. If eyes were knives he'd be bleeding because I was glaring daggers at him. I am _no_ girl.

The wolf gave me the brightest most beautiful cheeky grin – in that moment I knew I was doomed, but I was completely okay with it since he was playing with me and we've never had a moment like this that he'd initiated. It felt so surreal. "Watch, it won't fall off." He paused for a moment and gave me a tender little kiss on the shoulder. "But, on the off chance it does, I'll love you anyway." With that said he dropped me into the water, my head being submerged entirely.

Once I found my footing I sprung from the water and tackled the wolf wrapping my legs around his waist and arms around his neck. I didn't get a very good momentum going, but it was enough to have him fall backwards and dunk our heads under the water before we quickly popped back up. I stayed attached to him and he only lifted us enough so only our heads peeked from the ripples we made.

Paul's arms wrapped their way around me and he gave my lips a slippery waterlogged kiss. "You look adorable." He sweetly cooed... and he looked sexy as hell with his cropped hair dripping and shiny with beads of water complementing his gorgeous copper skin and the sun illuminating each one of them. There was simply no one more beautiful than my wolf – that was just a fact.

Had anybody else called me adorable I'd probably have murder on my mind, but if he loved me this way then dear god I'm so thankful for my pretty face and small body. "I look like a wet dog." I growled in fun.

Paul smiled at me. "A cute wet dog."

I shook my head at him and feigned an angry face. "That's it, you're getting it now!" I hollered just before I pushed his head under the water and swam away from him and towards the shore. I listened to the splashing sounds behind me and was pleasantly pleased to know that Paul wasn't done with me when his hands grabbed my waist.

The wolf tugged me to him, my back against his chest, and I gasped, though not because of the way we were touching; it was the fact that a very excited part of Paul was pressing against my backside. God, it was so hot and admittedly I was just as turned on, but in his best interest I acted like it wasn't there... I'm such a liar, I rubbed my butt along his length as inconspicuously as possible. Hell, I'm seventeen-year-old wolf, what do you expect me to do?

I was hardly inconspicuous because he noticed right away. His hands squeezed my hips and he pushed me far enough away that we were no longer touching. "What am I going to do with you?" He whispered. I looked over my shoulder at him with a quirked brow – I could think of many, many things I'd like him to do with me. He totally understood. "Not what I meant."

I smirked at him. "It will be one day." I said as I turned around to face him. He opened his mouth to speak, but I gave him no time to respond because I had quickly decided that his lips were much better spent on mine instead of talking. With no reluctance he kissed me with the same fervour I had. It took me no time to deduce that Paul and I were likely to become that couple that nobody wants to be around because they can't keep their lips and hands off each other. I'd have to put a stop to that... another day. I was just getting to know his mouth and I'll be damned if I'm about to stop, especially with my wolf so keen.

Paul didn't let the kiss last all that long before he pushed me away. I opened my eyes to see a conflicted look on his face. "What's wrong?" I asked with concern.

"I just... I'm getting..."

I smiled softly at my wolf. "All hot and bothered?" I whispered. He nodded as he stepped around me, the water rippling. I turned my body to watch him leave... I didn't want him to go somewhere and sulk. "Paul!" I called after him.

Reacting to my voice almost instantly he halted and pivoted in his spot to view me. I grinned at him trying to lighten the mood since I pretty much darkened it. I wanted to go back to playing and forget about all this sexual stuff. "Think quick!" I bellowed just before I leapt his way. Apparently my wolf was _not _a quick thinker because I easily tackled him onto his back. Water splashed and pebbles crunched under us – Paul's head and the tip of his shoulders landed on dry land and only foot or so from where James sat with the vampire.

"Ryan!" Paul cried in what I believed to be excitement. Playfully, or so I presumed, he tried to shove me off of him, but I squirmed above him to grip two of my legs around one of his so I didn't float off while I pinned his arms by his head.

The wolf's breathing became short and fast paced with his heart beating as loud as thunder. He tried to wriggle his leg free and he managed to yank his wrist from my grip. Paul reached up and pushed my face away from him as he twisted his hips trying to get me off. I grabbed his arm and pressed it back into the rocks at the same time I began to hear near silent and slight moans from him each time he did a quick exhale of breath.

Paul's hands balled into fists and his thunderous heart fell in sync with his breaths. I looked away from his hands and met his eyes which made me immediately stop any movement I was making. I was an idiot – they were so full of panic, yet abruptly the wolf linked his free leg to the three that were connected and squeezed his thighs closed trapping one of my legs between them.

As Paul's quiet moans got louder and his breaths more frantic he shockingly, though roughly bucked his suddenly apparent erection against my trapped leg. His body trembled while his eyes squeezed closed, his jaw clenched, and every one of his muscles I could feel against me tightened. When I felt my wolf throb against my thigh and inside his shorts I finally realized exactly what I had done – I practically forced Paul, unbeknownst to me, to orgasm.

With a heavy exhale of breath Paul fell limp beneath me and his eyes slowly peeled open to stare at me blankly. I let go of his arms as I untangled myself from his legs and slowly removed my body from him to sit at his side.

I flicked my eyes to James who unsurprisingly appeared very amused whereas Charlie seemed concerned for the wolf laying in the water. "Well, Paul." James said with a perky tone in his voice as he leaned over and slapped the wolf's open palm. "High five, buddy! But, I hope that taught you that you need to let that beast of yours out of its cage more often than _never_."

Slowly, almost at a snail's pace and silently except for the sound of dripping water, Paul rolled himself to his stomach and lifted himself to his shaky hands and knees. "I'm gonna be sick." He quietly groaned, fingers digging into the rocks beneath him. Horrifying us all he was right. James darted to his side and gently rubbed his creamy hand over the copper skin of the wolf's back for comfort as Paul vomited onto the rocks.

I was at his other side, but I made a conscious effort not to touch him – I didn't want to scare him, I didn't want to make things worse. A little ways away I saw Emily drop her book and pull her headphones from her ears and she sprinted over to us with Eric hobbling along behind.

"Why is he sick?!" Emily exclaimed as she ran up in front of the wolf, avoiding his mess, and eyes darting to each one of us. We all said nothing.

Squishing in between Paul and James, Eric nuzzled the wolf's shoulder and side while he finished getting sick. Paul spat multiple times before he pulled himself upright and for leverage he grabbed onto Eric's thick fur coat when he lifted himself to his feet. The alpha guided _my_ wolf out of the water, causing terrible thoughts to enter my mind. I had to wonder if this was fates way of telling me I wasn't good enough for Paul. I did such a bad thing and like I seem to a lot lately I was too wrapped up in myself and what I wanted to notice or even feel the wolf's distress. How _the fuck_ could I have thought he was playing around? How _the fuck _could I have thought that was a good idea to begin with?

The sound of pebbles clattering together with footsteps stopped and I looked up to see Paul gazing over his shoulder at me. His hand was still buried in the alpha's chocolaty fur, and I had the sinking feeling that Eric of all wolves comforted him. "Come on, angel, let's get dried off." He softly said, and he even made the effort to give me a faint smile.

I rose from the water feeling pretty damn lousy. Paul just puked and here he was trying to take care of me. A little sluggishly I exited the river and grabbed my pack before heading over to the two wolves, yet once there Paul slung an arm over my shoulders and tugged me close.

Behind me I listened as Emily demanded that Charlie and James tell her what the heck just happened. Gradually we turned to the left and headed down the river bank toward where Paul's towel lay... his hand _still_ clinging to Eric.

My wolf's eyes found mine even though I avoided his. "I couldn't help myself, Ryan. In the end I made it happen and it felt fucking blissful. Afterwards shitty thoughts got the better of me, but I'm alright now. I think I'm getting pretty good at sorting through all the junk in my head and throwing away the trash."

I wrapped my arm around Paul's waist and hugged myself to him as we walked. "I'm so sorry." I whined.

The wolf gave me funny look. "Why are you apologizing, didn't you hear me? It felt amazing. It scared the fuck out of me getting there and it scared the fuck out of me afterwards, but during was perfect. Every thought disappeared and I was able to enjoy it entirely, although I don't think I'll be able to look in Charlie's eyes ever again." Paul gave me a handsome smile and I couldn't help but chuckle at what he had just said.

Once we were at his towel we sat together on it while Eric silently laid down beside it with his head resting on his one front paw and eyes closing. I gave Paul my water and some gum. It wasn't exactly a toothbrush, toothpaste, and mouthwash, but it would have to do. I slung the towel from inside my bag over my shoulders and handed my wolf a spare, he shrugged it around him while scooting behind me for some reason. I craned my neck to the side to see him. "What are you doing?" I queried.

"Do you have comb and a hair elastic?" He replied with a question. I nodded and handed him a comb from the front of the pack and the elastic from around my wrist.

Paul gently pulled my sure to be hideously messy hair from underneath the towel and started to carefully brush through it. It might be weird or even creepy, but the feeling of the comb and his fingers in my hair at the same time reminded me so much of when I was a puppy and he'd do my hair. It felt heavenly, perfect, and it brought me back to such a good place.

"Ryan?"

"What is it, Paulie?" I asked curiously.

The wolf put the comb to the hairline along my forehead, dragging the hair back. "I just want to say thank you."

I pinched my thin brows to together. "What for?"

He brushed back all the hair from the sides and I could feel him start to break the hair up into three even pieces. "For loving me as much as you do and for not giving up on me even when I had. I know I've taken a toll on you this past year, but you'll never know just how grateful I am for you getting me here and I promise I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if you give me the chance. I just... I've had your lips now, and you've seen exactly what you do to my body – my mind hasn't quite caught up yet, though it'll get there. I swear it will. And, well, you know just how much I love you..." The wolf's voice trailed off and he paused for a moment while he sucked in a nervous breath and began to weave my hair into a tight braid. "What I'm trying to say is that I want you to be only mine and I want to be only yours."

When the wolf was done wrapping the elastic at the end of my braid I turned around to face him and happily smiled at him. "Paulie, are you asking me to be your boyfriend?" I was hopeful, so damn hopeful.

Paul nodded with a blush on his cheeks. As if I hit an eject button I was flying from where I sat on the towel and into my wolf's lap. My legs rounded his waist while my arms held me close to him. The wolf laughed as he embraced me. "Is that a yes?" I fervently nodded and buried my face in the crook of his neck to kiss and nuzzle him. How I got here is far beyond me, but I swear to god if you wish hard enough for something anything and I mean _anything_ is possible.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter Twenty-eight**

It was easily the hottest day of summer and it just had to be on the day the palace's air conditioning blew. My room was a sauna, although James seemed to be really enjoying himself. He was leaning against my head board, shirtless, and with an equally shirtless vampire between his legs and rested against chest. The human's arms were tightly wrapped around the vampire's slim waist and he seemed rather pleased with himself that he was quite comfortable in the heat; well, that or he was just pleased to have the boy half naked and against him.

They had only known each other for a month or so, but the stupid human is entirely smitten with Charlie. I call him stupid because he is too idiotic to even realize it himself and still claims to be completely hetero. I never really thought that James was gay, though I think he's a heck of a lot of gay now. I'm sorry, but no straight guy goes to his best friend and rambles on about how a boy he just met is so cute, so endearing, and he's just _so_ perfect. Oh, and did you see that thing Charlie's hair does in the wind? No? Me neither, but James has and apparently it's 'fucking adorable' – James' choice of words not mine.

When I think of a straight dude talking about a guy he likes to a friend it goes something like this: "You've met so and so, right?" Friend A would ask.

Friend B would nod. "Yeah, I've met so and so. What of him?"

"He's alright." Friend A would say.

Again friend B would nod. "Yeah, he's alright." They'd then proceed to drink beer, eat pizza, watch football and probably at some point talk about a hot chick they both want to screw, yet will never because she is far out of their league. The End. Yep, that's my stereotypical view of breeders and James is so _not_ one of them.

A few days ago I outright told him that he has super gay feelings for Charlie. He just gave me a funny look and said, "There's nothing gay about being able to appreciate another guy's appearance and qualities. It doesn't make me gay that I think he's sweet and it doesn't make me gay that I think that he's beautiful because it's true – he is those things. And, it certainly doesn't make me gay that I like those things about him, everybody should. He's just lovely, I can't help that." He unsuccessfully tried to convince me as he let out a huge huff of breath and rolled his eyes. "I think you're lovely, and that doesn't make me gay."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "You know what does make you gay? Telling me you loved me, that you wanted me to be yours, and that one day you'd have wanted me to marry you."

James pinched his brows and shook his head. "You're different."

"I'm not different!" I loudly snapped in irritation. "I'm sick of hearing that! I'm a guy, Jamie. I have a penis and if you would have slept with me anyway then you are _not_ straight."

An awkward silence fell between us until James broke it. "I'm straight." He grumbled.

I met his eyes and gave him a furious gaze. "Really? Then why at nineteen have you not had one girlfriend or even talked about girl that you liked except some 'hot chick' in passing?" I questioned.

"Because I loved... love you. I've only ever wanted you."

I pulled at the ends of my hair in exasperation. "And I'm a fucking dude, James!" I shouted.

The human shrugged. "Not really..." He mumbled. Needless to say that conversation went nowhere. I ended up kicking him out of my home for being so rude and with the intention that the long, long walk in the hot sun all the way home would teach him a lesson for practically calling me female. He gave me a big smug grin when I watched him hop into Paul's truck that the wolf had let him borrow.

Speaking of the wolf, he's doing pretty darn great. He still has his moments, but they're hardly frequent, though I don't see him all that often. James has nothing but praise for the wolf so I'm not concerned. Paul apparently loves to keep himself busy. He works five days a week with James from 6:00am until 3:00 in the afternoon and goes to therapy Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays afterwards. The wolf has even bought a house, though I haven't seen it and I'm not 'allowed' to until he's finished working on it. He's still living with James and Eric in the meantime.

I thought it was kind of stupid that with all his money he'd buy a fixer-upper, but he said the thought of buying a crappy house terrified him – so, he bought one. Seems about as logical as it sounds, yet he also mentioned that it felt 'freeing as fuck' to face a fear and just do it. He's loving it too, yet I don't know how he can do construction, which apparently he's quite a natural at, then go to his shabby house and do the exact same kind of stuff. I'd be exhausted and probably be dead on the first day.

Eric, not that I'm all that pleased about it, helps out Paul at his house during the week and James gives him a hand on Sunday afternoons. It's Saturdays I tend to count down the days until because that is the day the wolf completely reserves for me. Admittedly, I didn't think putting this boyfriend label on us would change anything, yet it has and it's pretty darn cute to see Paul taking it so seriously. I didn't know the wolf had it in him but I do think he's quite the gentleman in the making.

As it turns out I quite like being wined and dined, well, minus the whole wine part. No fake ID is going to get this prince a drink. Plus, I don't think Paul would approve of me drinking. I doubt he'd voice his displeasure, though. He'd most likely just look at me like I was stupid until I felt stupid and quit drinking. Anyway, I don't need to drink to be a rebel, he takes me out to dinner every Saturday night – imagine if my parents knew! I haven't died yet so I guess that's a good sign that not everybody wants to kill the queer little wolf prince like my dad seems to think.

There was a picture on the front page of the paper a few weeks ago that I thought might upset the wolf. It was of us walking down a street in town. His arm was draped around my shoulder with a hand caressing my hair while his lips were pressed to my temple. I don't think it bothered him much until some leech called him a faggot when he was at a hardware store with James – I had been lucky enough to avoid anything like that when we've been out together. The human said he'd never seen such a stunned expression on Paul's face and that even after the leech was long gone he seemed to be unable to process what just happened. Sadly, I had found myself angry for the most selfish of reasons – Eric had been there and had followed the bloodsucker into the parking lot, and even with one arm was able to rough him up pretty good. I don't think there's anything more degrading than another alpha taking care of your wolf or wolves and doing a better job of it. I felt humiliated.

Ugh, and when he came to visit Riley a week or so ago all I wanted to do was tear him a new one, but instead I found myself thanking him for sticking up for Paul. I didn't necessarily think beating the guy up was the right way to go about things, yet I was glad someone was there for him. Although, I would have much preferred it be anyone but him.

The alpha wolf smiled me. It wasn't a smug smile, or even a rude one – it was actually a kind one. I would have liked one of the other two better. "Yeah, no problem. Kinda thought I should, plus I didn't want the wolf to go and think he has to put up with that shit." That's when the smug and proud smile came. "Not with me around at least. I've got his back."

I rolled my eyes with a sigh. "Do you? Why? Decided you liked the view after you stabbed it?" I angrily quipped.

His inky brows furrowed on his handsome russet face. I wanted to think him ugly, too bad he was far from it – I'll just play pretend. "Why do you have to go and bring that up? Paul and I, we're cool now. He knows I'm a good guy, he knows I'm sorry." He told me.

"Yeah, and I bet all those freaks who fucked him are _real _sorry too."

Eric gazed at me completely taken aback. "You can't honestly be comparing me to the guys who did that to him in prison." He breathed.

"I don't see why not." I snapped. "You attacked him, collared him, stripped him, and slung the most vile words I have ever heard in my life at him and all for what? Because he saw you being a dick to your little brother and decided to put you in your place?"

The wolf's face twisted into a look of rage. "An omega does _not _put an alpha in his place!" He spat.

"So, what, that warrants torture?" I snarled.

"I didn't say that!" He barked back.

I shook my head. "No, but you implied it." I hissed.

The wolf took a menacing step forward. "I implied nothing!" He growled in my face.

"Get out of my face!" I heatedly yelled as I shoved my palms into his muscular chest – he hardly moved even an inch.

The alpha laughed at me. "Not so tough when you're not using your teeth, are you?"

"A good alpha doesn't need to be tough." I said through gritted teeth.

Eric nodded. "Sure, I can agree with that. But, what kind of alpha were you being when you pinned your wolf down at the river while he struggled?" I couldn't tell if he was mocking me or not, but either way my fury got the better of me and in the most pussy move I could make I kicked him, and kicked him hard right between the legs. The pained groan he made as he fell to his knees with his only hand on his crotch didn't make me feel better like I'd hoped, it made me feel pathetic.

I screwed up that day at the river, I know that. I get it, though the last person that has any right to tell me that is_ Eric._ Paul and I spent the evening it happened alone talking about it since I was still feeling guilty. My wolf explained to me that he's never once felt threatened by me and he didn't then, it was just the sexual pleasure that terrified him and apparently I was giving him a heck of a lot of it.

I also learnt that when he was seventeen my dad _fed_ from him, ew, and made him climax, gross! He mentioned that he didn't know that that would happen going into it, but the orgasm was a good one, although it apparently would have been much better had he not been arguing with my father at the same time – I didn't ask, I didn't want to know. He said his stomach didn't have the same reaction to my dad, but then again the pleasure I gave him was me rubbing against his junk whereas my dad barely had a hand on him. I think my cheeks nearly melted off my face when my wolf told me the one he had in the river with my thigh against him was so much better.

He explained over and over to me that he was glad that it happened and that he regretted nothing, plus if he could go back in the past to stop me from jumping him he wouldn't. _But_, and there is always a but... he doesn't want anything like that to happen again, at least not for awhile because of the reaction he had from it. I couldn't argue, I don't think I'd be half the horny wolf that I am if every orgasm led to fear and vomiting.

Basically, he wanted to wait until he was better equipped at handling the thoughts that would probably enter his mind, though he promised to practice on his own and I do believe that I've masturbated to the thought of him pleasuring himself every night since. I told him he has to tell me if he gets himself off – he hasn't mentioned anything, yet I figure between work, therapy, his new house, and living with James and Eric there's not much time or privacy to play with himself. But, my oh my, it is certainly a lovely, lovely, _lovely_ thought.

Luckily, I was in no rush. I mean, if Paul came to me and requested sex or any activities pertaining to such there is not a single chance in hell that I'd deny him. However, until that day his lips and my right hand were plenty. What I had now I'd never take for granted – I get to call him my boyfriend, cuddle him whenever I get the chance, and kiss him with all the fervour in the world and his response has only ever been to do the same.

* * *

_Point of View: Jacob_

I cursed the paperwork to the deepest and darkest pits of hell. I forgot how much I hate this shit! I'm actually thankful my Eddie hasn't let me do this god awful paperwork in years – he's a _slight_ perfectionist so heaven forbid I submit something somewhere and it have a spelling error on it. We might have a crisis on our paws if that were to happen. I mean, Jesus, it might make us look unprofessional! No, we couldn't have that.

Fuck professional! I don't want to look professional, I don't even think I'm capable of being professional! No wonder why my poor imprint is halfway to a mental break down – if I obsessed about this junk like he did I would have driven myself dead by now, mainly from sheer annoyance and boredom, but whatever. I don't think that it helps that Riley's being a twerp either, but that's _none_ of my business, and when it comes to Edward I know to keep my nose out of places it doesn't belong. Of course when it comes to me_ everything_ is his business. Then again, I tend to revel in the attention, so it works.

Just before I was about to call it a day there was a knock at the office door. I called for whoever it was to come in and was surprised to see a _happy_ looking Paul. He closed the door behind him and took a seat in front of my desk – I would have gotten up to greet him, but the palace was hotter than the Sahara desert right now and I was literally sitting in just my boxers. At least from behind the desk it might give the illusion that I'm most likely wearing something other than pretty much nothing.

The wolf sat casually in a baggy pair of tan cargo shorts and a black muscle shirt, but it was his face that really got to me. It was its normal handsome self, although it did have a few days' worth of stubble on it – it was hot. Can I say that about my son's boyfriend? Anyway, what really stood out to me was the lack of a sullen expression marring his features. I kind of had to figure that that therapist of his has got to have him on some pretty bitchin' drugs.

I dropped the pen in my hand and pushed aside my papers. "And here I thought you forgot I existed. What's your excuse for not visiting me?" I playfully queried.

The wolf shrugged. "The last conversation I had with Ed left me feeling not so welcome around here."

I nodded in understanding. "Ahh, yes, I can see why him practically telling you to go wander off and slowly torture yourself to death would make you think that, but, Paul, he does feel really bad about that." I told him.

"Ryan has said as much." Paul nonchalantly replied as he slouched a bit in his chair to get more comfortable while he crossed his arms over his stomach. "It's not like I'm going out of my way to avoid the palace or anything. I just, I don't know, I fucking love having a life." His eyes fell from mine as he looked off to the side with a tiny, though clearly happy smile upturning his lips while he seemingly thought about what was going on in this new life of his.

I grinned at the wolf. "So, you really are doing as good as Ryan has been boasting about?"

His eyes flicked back to mine and his smile widened. "Yeah, I mean, I have my moments, sure, but between work, the house, and Ryan I don't really have time to over think and sulk. I've found that the house is like a balm for my mind. If something is getting stuck in my head I go there and work on something which takes all my concentration and before long whatever was bothering is gone." He paused for a moment and inhaled a deep breath as he slowly ran a copper hand through his cropped hair. "You might think this is stupid, but it's kind of what I want to do – buy shit holes and turn them into something great. I'd obviously need more than just me to do this, but I'm in no rush to start. It's in my five year plan."

My brows rose in surprise, the wolf wants his own business – how fucking awesome is that? "That's not stupid at all! What's this five year plan?"

"Oh, well, Esme... _my therapist_," He grumbled. "Suggested I make goals for myself and I came up with this five year plan idea since there's so much shit I want to do now, plus I desperately, like fucking desperately want to turn my life into this good thing. I want to make something of myself, you know." The wolf abruptly grinned. "I have a prince to impress after all."

"And how does this prince fit into your five year plan?" I questioned.

Paul's grin faded as he sighed. "That's why I'm here, to check in I guess. Ryan's mentioned you and Ed know the way things are going with us, but I thought I should talk to you to make sure you're cool with everything."

"What would you do if I said that I wasn't and that I wanted you stop seeing my puppy?"

The wolf quirked a brow. "Honestly?" He asked.

"Honestly." I nodded.

Paul smirked at me. "I'd lie straight to your face and tell you that you're probably right and that I will stop seeing Ryan right away while mentally telling you to go fuck yourself. Then on my way out I'd stop by Ryan's room just so I could press my mouth to _your _son's lips and tell _your _son just how much I love him while still mentally telling you to go fuck yourself." Was it bad that I loved the fuck out of this answer?

"Well then," I started with a grin. "So far I see us having no problems. You know, I'm so glad you finally came around and realized that Ryan is your mate." With that said the wolf gave me a wide eyed what the fuck kind of look.

Paul shook his head. "I love Ryan, I love him with all I've got and I swear to god I'd love him just the same without the imprint, but we aren't and can never be mates. It's impossible for two males to be mates." He tried to explain to me.

I furrowed my brows and leaned slightly forward to rest my bare arms on the desk in front of me. "Okay, whatever, I'm not even going to try and understand your logic behind that. But, you want the pup, right? Do you love him like I love my Eddie?"

"Yes, I want him." His nose crinkled. "And, no, I'm not a fucking pervert."

I perked an inquisitive brow. "Did you just call me a pervert?" I asked and the wolf nodded with a minute smile. "From you I'll take that as a compliment, and I'll have you know Ed loves my dirty mind, plus his is even dirtier."

Paul's smile faded into a cheeky one. "Doesn't surprise me. It's always the ones you least expect to be the freakiest in the sack." I couldn't help but laugh at that.

"And how would you know?"

The wolf shrugged. "I'm a wolf, not dead. I like to play dumb, but it's usually pretty easy to sense people's sexualities and the sexual deviants."

"Is that so?" I hummed. "I do believe you were the one that would always say Ryan would grow up to marry a woman."

Paul chortled. "Well, that's just called denial."

"Are you glad you were wrong?" I queried

The wolf nodded. "For purely selfish reasons, yes." I grinned at the wolf because I didn't know what the fuck else to do. I could see him in there... When I looked into his eyes I could see bits and pieces of the fourteen-year-old Paul I used to know.

"Paul, I'm dying to know what the hell changed your mind. Once upon a time you were a pretty big closeted homophobe. You never voiced you opinions much on the whole gay thing, but when you did it was pretty insulting."

The wolf sighed while he lowered his hands and stuck them in his pockets. "There wasn't just one thing, it was everything. In the first few days of being here after coming back I knew almost right away what I was feeling for Ryan was way different from when I left. In the five years I was gone he grew from a puppy to a wolf – it was as if I was looking at a completely different person. I could see the similarities, but it just wasn't the same for me. He wasn't a little boy anymore, he was this gorgeous alpha that I struggled to keep my eyes off of. At first I blamed the imprint, I didn't know of any wolf that wouldn't think his imprint is anything besides beautiful, but then I started notice that I wanted things, weird things... for me at least.

"I'd think of him in my bed, us chest to chest with his perfectly soft hands on the bare skin of my back while he whispered into my ear. I'd imagine the feel of his warm breath fanning my neck causing little bumps on my skin to rise. I'd imagine his lips trailing along my jawline and his teeth nibbling at my ear. Every time I'd do this I'd end up getting so angry with myself because my body would always ruin my 'pure' thoughts of him by getting a hard-on. I don't think it was all that long after Christmas that I realized these thoughts I was having was my minds lame attempt at some sort of erotic fantasy.

"By Valentines day I had a pretty good feeling that the way I craved the sound of his voice, the feel of his full lips kissing my cheeks and his hands on my torso was nothing near platonic. Also, I started to fear and get a lot of anxiety around the idea of Ryan dating someone, whereas a few months prior I would have contentedly sat on the sidelines so long as I thought the guy treated him right. I knew then a part of me somehow wanted what I believed to be impossible for me, but I threw caution to the wind and gave him my mother's ring – if anybody was going to have him it was going to be me. I just needed to figure my shit out and in the meantime have everybody clearly see the ring and know that the prince was taken. Although, Ryan was adorably oblivious to this.

"Luckily, Ryan thought I needed to figure my shit out too and ordered me to go therapy. I was _not _pleased, although I couldn't be more thankful now. It's going to be a long fucking process, but I honestly feel like I've made a shit ton of progress rather quickly. Anyway, after Aro I realized just how much I meant to Ryan and somehow that made my walls come crumbling down. That night it finally clicked for me that I wasn't always staring at his lips because I thought they were beautiful, it was because I thought they looked delicious." A blushed reddened Paul's cheeks as he gave me a timid smile. "I was right."

I could tell by the look on the wolf's face that he was absolutely smitten with my boy, and if he were anybody else I'd have to castrate him for it. Yet, I have been hoping for this day since the time he saved Ryan from his poisoned breakfast. On occasion my husband might be a fucking idiot, you know, when it comes to Ryan and Paul, but I've always known there is absolutely no one more suitable for my puppy than that wolf. I've never heard of an imprint as strong as the wolf's. For fuck sakes he ran for two goddamn days across the continent to end up in just the right place at just the right time to keep him safe from that oncoming truck. Hell, the bond I have with Eddie isn't even a quarter of that. When I thought he died when he went off with that vampire army I barely knew otherwise. Sometimes I got the feeling he was still out there, while other times I was completely convinced he was gone for good. I kind of feel gypped.

"Okay, okay, I approve of all that, but when do you plan on having sex with my son?" I inquired. His eyes widened tremendously and his jaw gritted uncomfortably. I don't know why he looked so shocked. He should have seen that question coming before he even knocked on my office door.

"I haven't even thought about it." He hesitantly replied.

I grinned at the wolf. "You're such a fucking liar. If you think his lips are delicious I can guarantee you've wondered if other parts of him are too." As I heard him gasp with my retort I leaned to the left and opened the bottom drawer on my desk to get a little something for Paul. Sitting up straight, I put it on my desk and pushed it toward him. "For you."

Paul shook his head, his cheeks flaming. "Lube, why the fuck are you giving me lube?!" He exclaimed in question.

"For you to practice with. You need to get your thrill drill used to it or you're going to be some two pump chump."

"Jake!" The wolf bellowed. "Fuck off! You're the last person I want to talk to about sex with Ryan."

"What, why?" I queried and I was given an irritated and incredulous glare. "Because I'm his father? Who cares! I'd talk to him about sex with you."

"That is _way_ different."

I shook my head. "Hardly. Look, I can't stress lube enough. Also, I'd suggest finding your prostate too. That way you'll have a good idea of what feels nice and what's uncomfortable."

"Yeah, sure, I'll practice tonight, right on the couch I sleep on in an apartment I share with five other fucking guys!" He defensively snapped.

"You have a truck."

The wolf rolled his brown eyes. "Oh great idea, Jake, because pulling over on the side of the road to go finger my ass in some field _really_ seems like something I'd do, doesn't it?"

I chuckled at the wolf. "I figured you'd stay in the vehicle, but clearly you are much more imaginative than me." I teased.

Again he rolled his eyes. "If we're going to be talking about this stuff can you at least put your pants on?" He sighed. "It makes it a little less awkward for me."

"What? How did you-" I began to question while he nodded to the floor on the right side of my desk. "Oh..." I chuckled as I caught sight of my pants laying in plain view for the both of us to see. With my back sticking to the back of my seat I got up and reached for my jeans.

I tugged them on as I checked the clock on the wall. "Actually, Paul, I don't have time for any more chatting. I was supposed to meet Ed in the kitchen ten minutes ago to make dinner with him." I grabbed the lube off my desk and dropped it in the wolf's lap. "Try jerking with the stuff. You can thank me afterwards." I offered up a friendly grin and gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Stay for dinner, Ryan will love it, plus James and Emily are here. They also brought some little dark haired leech I've never seen before."

The wolf nodded in recognition. "The vampire is Charlie Swan."

I furrowed my brows. "Hurry, tell me about him. Anything I need to worry about?" I questioned.

Paul shook his head. "Not that I know of. He's nice, quiet, pretty shy, and quite infatuated with James. He graduated this year, but was home schooled – he was bullied a lot so his mother pulled him out, apparently she's quite clingy. He's eighteen, works at a diner in town, lives with his parents, and was changed after he ended up paralyzed from the neck down when he was sixteen after he fell off his roof while he was helping his dad hang Christmas lights."

"Huh... I didn't expect you to know that much."

The wolf sighed as he got to his feet. "The way James prattles on about him I'm pretty sure I could write the vampire's full fucking biography."

.


	29. Chapter 29

**Sorry to the people who didn't want more James, but I stuck a heck of lot of him in this chapter.**

**WARNING: Penises are pleased.**

* * *

**Chapter Twenty-nine**

_Point of View: James_

The four of us had moved out to the pool for an hour or so before dinner. After a short swim I found myself sitting in a lounge chair with my arms snug around an adorable little vampire that shimmered beautifully in the sunlight. Charlie's cool back was pressed ever so nicely to my chest and I sighed contentedly while I rested my cheek on his shoulder. It was stinking hot today and I was fucking sweltering, or least I was until Charlie offered himself to me inside earlier. I didn't hesitate for a moment – I was happy to lift his shirt from his pale torso and pull him to my already bare chest. I think I might be insane and a little criminally so, because I was wishing with all my might that slavery was legal once more just so I could keep the vampire all to myself.

Charlie has been a wonderful distraction, before him I kind of wanted to dig my aching heart out from between my ribs with a rusty butter knife every time I saw the prince all cute with Paul, though, now, I swear I've only got half the ache and self-inflicted torture seems completely unnecessary. The vampire just had one of those faces where you couldn't not be happy when looking at it, especially when he smiles. Man, I thought there was no smile greater than Ryan's... boy was I ever wrong.

Charlie lifted my arm from around his waist and brought the wrist of it to his lips just to let them rest there while he needlessly breathed through his nose. "You smell so good." He whispered. I peeked up to peer across the stone pool deck to see Emily and Ryan wrestling in the pool – their splashes loud enough to drown out our whispers.

Mindlessly, the tips of my fingers on my free hand trailed along the smooth skin of his abdomen. The vampire is thin, but not so thin that he looks scrawny – he's very pleasing to the eye and when standing shirtless next to Ryan he makes the wolf's body look quite masculine. Ryan's arms visibly had muscle in them, though I wouldn't really consider them manly by any means. He'd hate me for saying this but they reminded me of some of the thicker arms belonging to female gymnasts, whereas Charlie's are slender with only a slight bump for each bicep and tricep when flexed. Ryan also had defined pecs, barely, but you could still see them, along with a light dusting of abs while the vampire had neither. I truthfully found my eyes gravitating toward Charlie when I was in the presence of the two of them. The vampire certainly didn't have an effeminate face or girly hair, yet I loved to look at him.

"What do I smell like?" I whispered back. "Breakfast, lunch, or dinner?"

I raised my head up so the vampire could turn and gaze over his shoulder at me with his golden eyes. "Dessert." He murmured while he placed his thumb against the pulse point on my wrist. I groaned at his answer, don't ask fucking why, I just did. I didn't dare to ever feed the vampire, not with my dumb ass brother being a walking and talking example of why not to, but it didn't mean I couldn't fantasize about it.

There was something so fucking hot about the thought of Charlie's teeth in my neck. It had nothing to do with him being a guy or anything – I just liked the thought of someone getting pleasure from... eating me, I guess. I don't know, now it sounds gross when I put it like that. Oh, fuck it, it's not gross, not to me, and now I'm so shamefully hard with just the mere thought of the vampire loving the taste of me.

As shameful as my stiff dick was, I shamelessly grounded against his lower back eager for friction and his attention. Charlie's cheeks paled as he smiled and gave me a breathy little titter. "I would have thought your fragile human body would be all tired from work in the hot sun." He teased me.

I nodded as I once again looked in Ryan's and Emily's direction. They were paying no mind to us. "It is, and sore too." I leaned to the right side, taking my arm from him and picking up a large beach towel. I draped it over his waist and about half way up his ribs. I also bunched it up so it had plenty lumps and bumps. "Massage me." I whispered.

Craning his neck to look at me Charlie gave me a playful smirk as he reached his left hand behind him. He slipped it under my elastic waistband and down the front of my damp swim trunks. My eyes squeezed shut and my teeth scraped against his milky shoulder as his cold, though soft and delicate feeling hand encircled me. I quickly returned the favour and underneath the towel I reached forward with my right hand. I tucked it inside his shorts and began to stroke him in time with his movements.

While he quietly moaned out a lungful of air I kept telling myself we're buddies. Very, _very_ close buddies, yet I got this awful niggling feeling that buddies didn't jerk each other off... Maybe I could start a trend. In the end it felt too good to care and I just went with it like all the other times – not that there were a lot of other times. Just a couple, like a handful, or, well, maybe two handfuls. Two and a half handfuls. For what it's worth, I blew my load in that river at least an hour before Paul did. I didn't know if that made Charlie slutty for initiating it completely or me for going along with it. I don't know, I didn't care – nobody had touched my dick before that and the excitement I felt to have a hand on me that wasn't my own really wasn't an opportunity I was going to pass up... even if the boy is a dude.

With my forehead damp with sweat and my heart happily thudding away I laid my cheek on Charlie's shoulder and gazed at his alluring face. "I'm not going to last." I groaned near his ear.

"Me neither." He breathlessly replied. Loving those two words and not being able to help myself I started to work my hips along with his strokes – it felt so damn wonderful to fuck his palm.

I brought my free hand around his busy arm to feel the skin of his chest. "Do you like it when I touch you like this?" I whispered in question.

The vampire nodded. "Yes," He breathed. "So much." Charlie's cool thumb brushed across my tip, spreading my leaking fluid and causing me to place my mouth against his neck to suppress a whimper of pleasure.

I copied his motions and his golden eyes fell shut. "Do I make you feel good?" I near silently queried with my warm breath fanning his neck and my lips brushing against his flawless skin.

"So good." He moaned in a murmur.

I sucked in a sharp lungful of breath. "Do you like it when I make you come?"

The vampire's chest heaved beneath my hand. "Oh god, I want you to make me come so badly." He panted, and I groaned in response to his sentence while I clenched my hand tighter around him as I picked up the pace.

I nipped at his neck and nibbled at his earlobe. "Are you going to come?" I breathed.

Charlie's closed eyes squeezed as his needless breath hitched in his throat. "Jamie, _yes_, I'm gonna come." He moaned under his breath. My free hand darted from his chest upward to his cheek and I turned his head my way – I don't know what in the fuck possessed me to do it, but I eagerly pressed my lips to his.

The vampire startled at first, yet quickly gathered his wits and hungrily kissed my lips. I kissed him all the same while my hand slipped behind his neck to hold him tightly to me. The kiss quickly became sloppy, yet remained sexy as fuck with his little whimpers and when I felt him throb in my hand and his come coat my fingers I erupted with fervour.

My lower body trembled as the euphoria hit me full force and I blissfully cried into Charlie's mouth which was probably much louder than was smart. My hips unsteadily rocked and my heart pounded with passion while the vampire's tongue virtually made love to my own. I was drunk on ecstasy and even when my orgasm had faded away I couldn't bear to take my lips off Charlie's. They were too inviting and even though they were as chilly as can be they were the warmest lips I had ever kissed.

Gradually, I removed my hand from his shorts, wiping it on the towel while Charlie did the same and I pulled the material off of us to drop it to ground. Never breaking the kiss the vampire turned in his spot so his body was facing mine and I guided him close to have him straddle my lap.

Charlie pressed his bare chest to mine and his arms circled around my shoulders. My mind and body was buzzing with him so close, yet as I trailed my fingers along his thigh and up the leg of his shorts to grab his firm ass cheek I was struck with a sudden and brief moment of clarity: _I'm so not fucking straight!_

I ripped my lips and hands from the vampire and frantically shoved him away. I scrambled to my feet in a panic. "Holy shit!" I exclaimed while I dug my hands in my hair to tug at the roots. "Holy fucking shit!" In the pool my friends stared at me wide eyed. Ryan's jaw was dropped whereas Emily had a strong look of 'what the fuck' shining in her eyes – I had no clue how much they saw. It didn't matter, any of it was too much.

I flicked my eyes back to the vampire. "Jamie, what's wrong?" He quietly and timidly questioned from where he sat on the lounge chair. Didn't he know? _Everything_ is fucking wrong!

I frowned at Charlie. "This is so fucked up!" I cried. The vampire furrowed his brows, got to his feet, and reached a hand out to mine. I hit his shimmering hand away.

Charlie's appearance turned crestfallen. "Sorry." He whispered in an effort to hide his voice from straining ears. I gazed at the adorable little vampire and I began to wonder just what in the hell I was doing. Did I really want whatever this was to end? Before I went and made some rash decision I needed to make a phone call first.

* * *

_Point of View: Jacob_

"Ahh, there you are!" I called out as I caught sight of Paul packing the back of his truck full of boxes. "Stealing from the rich to give to the poor?" I playfully questioned.

The wolf gave me a little smile while I walked up to him. "Ryan brought my clothes to me awhile ago, I figured while I'm here I may as well get the rest of my stuff. Good idea, though. I've known some of those guards for a pretty long time – I wonder if they'd let me get away with it."

I grinned at Paul and helped him put the rest of the boxes on the bed of the truck. Once finished I sighed and leaned my back against the side of it as I crossed my arms. "We need to talk." I said.

The wolf smirked at me, though he struggled to stop from smiling. "Ed's pissed at you about that little sex talk we had and he probably thinks _I _think you gave me the green light to go ahead and sleep with your puppy." He replied while he turned to me and rested his right arm on the truck above the back tire.

I gave him an impressed gaze. "You're good."

He shook his head and chuckled. "Nah, you two are just way too predictable. But, look, rest assured, even if I was willing to have sex with Ryan, I wouldn't. Well, not for a long while at least. I may look his age and I'm definitely no Mr. Mature, but it wouldn't sit well with me to sleep with a seventeen-year-old." He paused for moment as he scratched his fingers through his inky black hair and inhaled a large breath of air. "Edward is probably going to kill me, but whatever... There was an incident at the river about a month back. Long story short Ryan accidentally made me get off in the water, or, well, he got me to the point of no return then stopped and I made it happen – I've never felt like more of creep in my life. A little while afterwards I asked him to be boyfriend because I am committed, and I want to make this work, but this is where I feel really guilty – I've been living in my house for about a week now, it still needs a lot of work, but I've gotten it comfortable. I haven't mustered enough courage to tell Ryan I'm there yet, though."

I furrowed my brows and squinted my eyes slightly as I flicked them between his two. "Why haven't you told him?" I asked feeling a little perturbed.

The wolf sighed. "Because he's all over me and I know the moment I tell him I'm living on my own he's going to be there _all_ the time – he's my imprint, I'd obviously love that, but I also have a large sofa, a love seat, a recliner and a king sized bed that he'd all find perfect to straddle me on, and boy does he love it when he straddles me... so do I, and that's the problem. I have such shitty self-control. I think it's extremely unlikely, almost impossible, yet I'm scared that I might end up wanting more. Ryan only wants sex for the pleasure. To me that seems like immature reasoning and I think it's a huge possibility he'd regret it because his first time really won't be the amazing fantasy he's built it up to be."

I nodded in complete understanding. _'See, babe, told you. This is why I have no problem encouraging the wolf to literally go fuck himself – Ryan is his imprint, he'll only ever want to do what's best for him.'_ I thought, knowing my Eddie would hear it loud and clear. I gave Paul a smile and turned to give his upper arm a friendly squeeze. "I can still remember the day you told me you imprinted on my pup... fuck, I wanted to strangle you."

Paul's eyes widened a bit and he nodded his head. "I definitely foresaw that happening, clearly I'm no psychic."

"Yeah, well, I'm glad I didn't. I know you're going to get some grief from people for being with the prince since you're a _few _years older than him, but your king is telling you to not give a fuck what other people think or say. Had I never imprinted I probably would have long since ripped out your bowels and hung you off the palace roof with them while you were still alive and breathing, yet I did imprint-"

"Wow, yeah, thank god. Sounds _kinda_ unpleasant."

"Naw, it'd only tickle a bit." I chuckled, although Paul looked a little green. "Yeah, anyway, I did imprint and I know exactly what that does to a wolf. The last thing you are is creepy for getting aroused by your imprint. A puppy becomes a wolf on their sixteenth birthday, anything you feel for him now is perfectly natural. Plus, Paul, we're obviously going to be attracted to people who look around the same 'age' as us. There's no way in hell when I'm sixty that I'm going to have the hots for some wrinkly old bastard. I'll be checking out people in the sixteen to twenty range and if they're hot and my Eddie never existed I'd fuck them all."

Paul rolled his sparkling brown eyes. "My king, how you charm me so." He teased.

I grinned at the handsome wolf. "I only speak the truth. But, anyway, my _darling _husband wanted me to make it known that neither of us approve of you having a sexual relationship with our son any time soon. We're cool with kissing, and if anything were to happen I'd be accepting since it's you and all. As for Edward, well... I want to say he's a little old fashioned, yet that would be completely hypocritical of him if he were since I was fucking him day and night when he was seventeen along with begging for his hand in marriage, so really, I don't know what's up with the splintery stick lodged in his ass." _'Baby, I also told you to speak to the wolf yourself. This is what you get when you can't be a big boy and talk to your own friend.'_

The wolf laughed lightly. "Ed's just being a good dad. Besides if I had a teenaged son and you were single and on the prowl, king or not, if you showed any kind of interest in him I'd have to kill you. Perhaps I'd rip out your bowels and hang you with them from your own palace roof – I do like that idea." He jested... I think.

"What the hell?!" I playfully exclaimed with furrowed brows. "I'd treat him with utmost respect as I fucked him senseless."

"Uh-huh, yeah, sure, but god only knows what you've got going on down there." Paul said as he nodded toward my crotch.

"Pfft..." I huffed as I gave the wolf's shoulder a good punch. "Until my vampire came along I always played safe."

The wolf guffawed while he hit me right back. "Definitely, Ryan's a true fucking testament to that!" He joyfully quipped.

"Yeah, and you should be thanking me for spreading my seed!" I laughed while I shoved Paul a little roughly in the chest, causing him to take a step back. His eyes clung to mine and he looked as if he were scrutinizing me and my intentions behind that shove. Something seemed to click inside him because a beautiful grin spread across his face just before he lunged at me.

Being as rough as I was with him he pulled me into a tight headlock. I found it hard to breathe, though not because he was squeezing my throat, but rather I was laughing so hard I couldn't catch my breath. He let me wrestle my way out of it and I darted away from a few good jabs, him doing the same, yet we also got a few nice and painful ones in too. I honestly couldn't believe what I was partaking in – Paul was happy, laughing, and being playful just like any regular wolf should be. Fucking christ almighty, if I didn't believe in miracles before, I certainly do now.

This continued for a few minutes before our laughter died down and our movements finally slowed. When things fell silent the wolf had somehow ended up in my arms with his face buried in the crook of my neck. He clung to my bare back while I kept a snug hold on him. "My son might be your alpha, but you're always going to be my wolf, Paul." I whispered to him.

His arms squeezed me tightly. "We have a fucked up past together, yet I can't help but miss you sometimes. This you. The real you." He murmured against me, his warm breath tickling my skin, although it felt cool in the heat of the sun.

I brought a hand up to the back of his neck and dipped my fingers into his thick, though soft hair. "I'm always missing you, and your brothers do too, but we all know you're with your proper alpha now." I let him know. "Ryan will never fail you like I did and he's always going to take really good care of you, Paul. When you came home I fought with myself day after day to stop from begging you to rejoin the pack. I think that's the first time I ever really did something right by you."

The wolf nuzzled the skin of my neck as his arms slowly began to loosen. "Thank you." He whispered.

"I've never in my life been more pleased to say you're welcome." I pulled back a bit and looked into the wolf's brown eyes. "But, with that said I'm going to ask you a favour. Bring Ryan to your house soon, the last thing I want is him finding out that you've been living there. He'll think you didn't want him there for all the wrong reasons and be heartbroken. Ed and I will be happy to work with you. If you only wanted him there on Sundays or something then Ed and I will tell him he can only go on Sundays. He'll be pissed, but he'll get over it."

Paul took a step back with a very thankful expression on his face. "Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays are days I'd like you to leave open."

I nodded and smiled. "Consider it done. Oh, but," I sighed. "Edward also wanted me to express that sleepovers are a big no-no." I crinkled my nose and brow. "You know, sometimes I don't understand parents. I mean, I think his logic is that if you aren't sleeping in the same bed together then that will somehow discourage the whole sex thing from happening between you two. I tried to tell him you guys are perfectly capable of banging during the day, but he'd hear none of it."

The wolf shook his head at me and he let out of huff of breath while he stuck his thumbs in his shorts pockets. "Yeah, it's still just as weird as earlier when you talk about your kid that way."

I rolled my eyes. "So what if I'm not a prude? Everybody fucks! Do I want my pup to do be doing that? Not particularly. Will it happen despite my feelings on it? Definitely. I'd rather be open and honest about everything rather than pussyfooting around the topic. If you, Ryan or anybody needed or wanted advice on the subject matter I'd share all the knowledge I have with no reservations. And, seriously, Paul, if and when the time comes that you and Ryan are ready to be intimate I'd hope that if there was something, _anything_, you are unsure of you'd feel comfortable enough to come to me because I'm not just Ryan's father, I'm your king and frien-"

"Oh, Paul, thank fuck you're here!" Someone interrupted. With a funny look on Paul's face I turned around to see I fretful looking blonde haired and blue eyed human running out from the palaces entrance with wet hair tied behind him and wearing nothing but a baggy pair of white sweat pants with a pair of blue plaid boxers peeking out around the waist. "I was in the foyer just about to call you when I saw your truck through the window." He panted when he got up to the wolf. His eyes widened when they met mine like he _just_ realized I was standing here with him. "Your majesty."

"Shut the fuck up, Jamie – I don't know how many goddamn times I have to tell you to stop calling me that." Want to know just how bad I am? If my gorgeous husband never happened to grace the earth with his presence I'd have fucked that human a few weeks after his sixteenth birthday. I'd say the day of, but that just seems too close to fifteen and that makes me a feel a little pervy. Yet, a few weeks down the road... all systems are go.

"Sorry." James breathed. Appearing frazzled he turned to Paul and dragged him a few feet away from me. I'd give them privacy, but I was way too interested in what was going on to have the normally laid back human all worked up. He met the wolf's eyes and swallowed. "I'm gender neutral."

"Uh..." Paul said in confusion. "Am I supposed to know what you mean by that?"

James opened his mouth to speak to the wolf, though caught me staring and looked over at me. "Could please at least pretend not to be listening?" Well, at least the guy was smart enough not to ask the king to go away. I turned my body slightly, yet I was still at an angle where I could clearly see them out of the corner of my eye.

"Jamie, what's wrong?" The wolf queried.

James sighed in discontent. "Give me a chick with a dick, a dude with a vag, a pretty prince or an adorable little vampire, I don't seem to care. I think this is why it was so easy for me to deny being gay since I really don't really identify with it. I mean, I'm really not gay, well, I am gay, but I'm not, you know?" The human paused and he pushed back some hair that had fallen into his face while he let out a whine with a scowl marring his attractive features. "What the hell is wrong with me, Paul?"

The wolf thought for a moment before speaking. "Um... Nothing I'd say. You've done a pretty good job of teaching me not to put labels on things, but I'm going to stick one on you and say you're pansexual. I have nothing nifty to say about that, though I think a wise..." He gave a slight glance my way before continuing. "Wise-ish king might say that you should consider yourself a very lucky guy because not only is the world your playground but all its people in it are too."

I grinned at the two of them. "I would say that!" I happily commented.

The human gazed at Paul in disbelief. "You don't think I'm fucked up?" He questioned.

"What? No." The wolf chuckled. "I'd never think that about you." James' tense muscles in his back and arms relaxed while he huffed a huge sigh of relief. I furrowed my brows at this and flicked my eyes between the two.

I had to wonder if I just saw what I think I saw. "James, did you just go to _Paul_ for approval?" I asked, feeling rather incredulous.

He brought his eyes to mine. "His opinion matters to me."

I raised a brow. "Okay, but why out of all people him? You didn't go to Ryan, or Emily, or even your brother. You went to Paul." I didn't get it. I knew they were getting along quite well, but I didn't ever see this coming.

* * *

_Point of View: James_

I looked away from the king and back to wolf. I have definitely grown to have a slight admiration for the crazy fuck we all call Paul. I know I'm supposed to look up to Eric because he's my big brother and he really has been pretty awesome lately, but Paul is a better brother than he'll ever be and I seriously can't imagine the wolf ever forgetting about me like Eric did.

I honestly loathed the day Paul moved out. I only had him for like three and a half weeks... I can't believe I'm going to say this, but, fuck I miss him a whole damn lot. I'm a clingy bastard because I still see him every day at work, plus I've probably slept on his couch every other night since he left my place. Maybe it's not that I miss him, maybe I'm scared of the possibility of missing him. He's done strange things to my heart – he makes me feel all loved and wanted, and those are two things I'm not used to at all. My father, whoever the hell he is, ran a few months after I was born. My mom took off when I was four, Eric was twelve. Then years later all the sudden Eric didn't want me anymore and put me in foster care. I missed my mother, I missed my brother, and awhile after Eric ditched me I had to watch him move into the palace while I bounced around from foster home to foster home. His majesty even insisted that I should come too, but my brother claimed he wanted me to have a 'normal' life with a 'normal' family.

Yeah, I'm not fucking stupid. I know he said that junk because he only wanted Riley around while he pined for his useless imprint. It was soon after he moved in there that he became a stone cold asshole toward me. I don't know if it was the whole feeding thing that turned him into a heartless prick, but I truthfully don't care for excuses because he was all I had in this shitty world, yet not only did he abandon me like mom did us, but he tortured me with his awful fucking presence. Paul would never do that.

The wolf is like a loveable, though sometimes bossy big brother. This is going to sound so ridiculous, but I think we take care of each other. I help erase a bit of crazy day by day and he helps with whatever is needed in the moment. He'll nag me like a mother would when he thinks there's something I need to get done right away. He'll grumpily tell me to shower if I stink and he'll bitch and moan every time I make a mess in his house. Yet, beyond those annoying things he's someone I can actually look up to. He has come by the apartment twice to cook us guys a huge meal. I know he only does it because he wants to make sure we're eating properly since he always brings _way_ to much food and when we tell him to take what he bought home he'll make up lame excuses like he already has that or he's sick of whatever.

There's these little things he does that shows me he cares too. My work boots killed my feet, plus they were cheap and falling apart. He never mentioned anything, although I'm sure he saw me bandaging me feet day after day because the boots gave me blisters and sores. One morning I went to put them on before leaving for work and sitting in their spot inside the closet by the front door was a brand new top of the line pair of work boots. He knew if he offered to buy me new ones I'd refuse, especially such expensive ones, so he did it in such a way I couldn't deny them. Admittedly, I'm damn grateful and haven't had a single blister since.

In another instance a roomie had a good buddy pass away; he was devastated and he started to freak out about not having the proper clothes to attend the funeral in. None of us had anything nice to offer him to wear since we're all slobs – A gift card magically appeared on his dresser the next day. Paul denies that he did that along with the boots, but we all know he did. He's done countless things for all of us and he always does each thing in a way that doesn't make it feel degrading or like a handout. I used to think Paul was one lucky son of a bitch for getting Ryan, yet I get these moments now where I kind of think it's the other way around.

His majesty cleared his throat. "So, why Paul? Why didn't you just go to your brother or something?" He repeated.

I smiled fondly at Paul. Oh god, I fucking hate cheesy moments, but I seriously feel a big one coming. "I did go to my brother. I went right to him." I answered with a little nugget of awkward embarrassment poking right at my soul. Do you feel the discomforting cheesiness of the situation? I do and it's making me feel like I kinda need to vomit.

The wolf's entire face brightened. "You think of us like family?" He asked. My mouth refused to form more words to stop me from humiliating myself further, so I nodded. "I've always wanted a pet human." He joked, and I thanked god for the tension breaker.

"Paul!" His majesty said with a chuckle.

The wolf gave me a heartwarming grin – it was pretty disturbing, though only because it made me feel like I wanted to fall to my knees and beg him to never leave me like my dad, mom and brother did. I trusted that he wouldn't, but I'm certain I felt the same about the last two. Paul now knew he had the power to snap my heart like a twig and that terrified me. "Sorry, by pet I meant little brother – they're practically the same thing anyway." He said with his grin still intact.

I swallowed anxiously, my nerves starting to get the best of me. "So, should we, like, hug on it or something?" I questioned.

The wolf nodded. "I think so." He quietly replied. We both awkwardly stepped forward, both of our arms lifting. At the same time we went to reach for each other which made us effectively block one another. I felt my cheeks heat up as I leaned to my left while he leaned to his right, the both of us again ending up in the same place and face to face. I hurried a bit to my right, yet reflexively he did the exact same thing and of course in unison we rushed back to where we just were. With a huff of his breath Paul took a step backward to get out of close range from me as he dropped one and curled the other into a fist. "Fist bump?"

I nodded with a chortle. "Yeah." I replied and bumped my knuckles to his.

Immediately after the air fell thick and silent. "So..." Paul said, his lips staying in a tight 'o' for few seconds.

I raised my hand and pointed to the palace with my thumb. "I should probably head inside." I told him as I started to back up.

"Sure."

"But, I'll, um, see you later?"

Paul nodded. "At dinner."

My brows rose. "Oh, okay, cool." I so fucking lamely responded. I hated it when I got like this. Now, I felt intimidated by him. Before I had the upper hand because he was just some crazy old wolf that imprinted on my prince. I got to act unaffected by it all and be good guy James and help the poor sod out. But, now, _now _I'm just the loser who lost the prince he dreamt about since he was a kid. The loser who got overly attached to the crazy old wolf I lost my prince to, and the loser that just found out I'd sleep with anybody who had a hole I could stick my dick in, because, apparently, my sexuality is just as desperate as I am.

I turned my back to his majesty and Paul. I only managed to take a few strides forward before I heard the king calling out to me. "Hey, Jamie, I want to ask you something quickly." I turned back around to meet his gaze. "Jasper has told me about your feelings for Ryan. If you feel so strongly for him, why did you give up on him so easily?" Really? The king thought it was appropriate to ask me that now?... Who am I kidding, there aren't very many things that that alpha wolf would ever deem inappropriate.

I shook my head. "I never gave up on him. I admitted defeat." I told him. Before anything more could be said I hurried myself inside. I didn't want to talk about Ryan, not like that. I'm not very good at taking rejection and to be honest it's one of the things I fear most. For years people can tell you they love you then all the sudden drop you like a hot potato. Did my mom love me once upon a time and just abruptly stop or did she never really love me at all?

I despise my memories of Eric and I hate when he talks about them because they are so damn good. He took care of me, he did every-fucking-thing for me, and each damn day he'd tell me he loved me, yet one day the social workers showed up and he let them take me away despite how much I begged him to keep me. Nothing was ever the same after that. There's been so many times since he's been living with me that I've just wanted to scream at him, I've wanted to cuss him out and tell him just how bad some of the homes I went to were. Although, I don't and I never would.

Then there's Ryan. He's been my heaven and my worst nightmare all rolled into one. There were times where he made me feel like the biggest and strongest man there ever was, yet other times he's made me feel absolutely worthless. I'd kiss him with all I had while I poured my heart and soul into it, yet he never once felt it. I'd walk for hours just to hold him night after night and he'd speak about what it might feel like for Paul to be holding him instead. It fucking killed me, but I held my chin up and just kept repeating to myself that if I just held out a little longer, loved him a little more, he'd finally fall for me too.

The moment I saw Paul I knew, I fucking _knew_ that the one person I so desperately wanted to call mine would never, ever, _ever_ want me to be theirs. If I couldn't compete with him gone, how in the hell was I supposed to compete with him here? I tried though, trust me I tried. I'd try to kiss my prince and he'd turn his cheek while wondering out loud what Paul's lips would taste like. I'd tell him I loved him and he'd tell me he loved too, but _not _like he loved Paul. He'd cling to me in bed and tell me how _hard_ it was for the wolf to always have his hands on him when he so badly wanted so much more of Paul. How could Ryan be that thoughtless to not see he was doing the exact same thing to me?

It was crystal clear that only one of us was getting our happily ever after and I had a really ugly feeling it wasn't going to be me, and, truthfully, every time I looked at Paul I wanted to fucking kill him in the most bloody and brutal way. It was when I kissed Ryan under the mistletoe on Christmas in front of Paul I realized just how done for I was – my prince was willing to use me in attempt to make his wolf jealous. I had two options, wave a little white flag and say mercy or put a bullet through my brain. I was leaning more toward the latter, yet I had no fucking clue where one could get a gun on my budget. So, ultimately, I was stuck with the former.

I forced myself to play nice. I forced myself to think of ways to help the miserable wolf and I forced myself to smile and make jokes when all I wanted to do was cry. My friends like the silly James, they like the carefree, happy, laid back, relaxed, and always laughing James. They don't need to know that sometimes I feel like if I just fell off the face of the earth tomorrow they wouldn't even notice. They don't need to know how truly terrified I am of the day they tell me they don't want to see me anymore, and they really don't need to know that every once in awhile all I want to do is curl up in my bed and die.

I am generally a good mood kind of guy, I won't deny that. I always get a little thrill when I can make someone smile and I really fucking love to be a help. Humans tend to be clumsy and get in the way, but I really do think I've helped Paul and he tells me he appreciates the hand I give him around his house, even if I am about as quick as dead snail compared to him.

I know, it's kind of pathetic that I fell on the Paul bandwagon, but I can't help it. I've spent a lot of hours with the guy, _a lot – _you can only imagine how many of them were of me fighting the urge to like him. But, whatever, I quite obviously failed terribly at that, yet I don't regret it one bit. Paul is one of the best guys I know... that might be a sign I need to broaden my horizons, doesn't matter, he's got an amazing heart and I can't blame him one bit for imprinting on the prince. I really do know it's time for me to actually move on and let my love for Ryan slip away, though I think we can all collectively agree that some things are so much easier said than done and it always tends to be the things we really ought to do.

Last, but in no way least, there's a little vampire I've got in my life that I'm positive I have feelings for. I'm certain a blind man has better sight than me because I'm entirely unsure how in the hell I could have had his dick in my hand and his jizz on my fingers and not notice that I was getting off on it! I mean, I must have known – I kept going back for more after all. I just, well... I don't really want him to go anywhere.

* * *

_Point of View: Ryan_

I was pleasantly surprised to see Paul at the dinner table tonight, although I was a little disappointed that he was seated between Riley and Eric. At least the alpha was smart enough to put the metal collar on when visiting the palace – who knew how my dad would react...

Paul was being incredibly friendly with my uncle, he even told him to stop being such a grump and cheer the fuck up. For the first time in what seemed like forever I saw the vampire perk his lips. It was a minute smile, but it was certainly there, and I certainly thought Eric had put Paul up to this. Maybe it was guilt bothering the royal leech. Maybe knowing Paul didn't hold a grudge helped him let it go. Maybe I'm just pulling ideas out from my butt since I had no clue what the heck was going on.

The more Paul and Riley interacted the bigger Eric's stupid grin got. I had the strongest urge to rip it right off his face, especially since Emily was sitting on the other side of the alpha wolf smiling right along with him. I had kept the chairs around me open thinking James, Charlie, and Emily were going to sit with me. As it turns out, not so much.

So, with three seats around me open and a full table I felt like a lonely fool. Would it have been so hard for Brady to shuffle down or for E.J. to scoot over two seats to sit with me? I asked my father to come sit with me, though he was too busy doting on my dad who was doting on my sister who was busy showing Charlie her little talent. Paul asked if I wanted him to come over to me. On the inside I was screaming 'hell yes', but Riley for once didn't look like he was trying to blow up my dad with his eyes. So, a little begrudgingly I told the wolf to keep seated. Quil, realizing my frustration plopped his one and half year old son Liam in my lap and said the pup would love for his prince to feed him. Yeah, no, all the puppy loved to do was stick his dirty fingers in my food then grab at my hair with his mucky hands.

I didn't know whether to be happy or jealous that across the table from me seemed to the fun side. I liked seeing my Emily and Paul laughing, but I wasn't so sure I wanted it to be because of _Eric_. Paul even seemed to have wriggled Riley from his gloomy shell and had the vampire excited as he kept trying to hand the wolf his wine glass full of blood. "Come on try it. It's super good and thirst quenching. It's smooth and warm, and tastes like heavenly goodness. You can't _not_ like it!" The vampire giddily tried to coax him.

Paul took the glass from him and sniffed it only to yank his head away and scowl. "Dude, I don't think we have the same taste at all! What kind of animal is this?" He questioned in disgust as he looked into the vampire's hungry black eyes.

Riley mischievously grinned. "Human."

The wolf fervently shook his head. "Oh, god no, no way am I drinking any of this." He told him as he glared at the blood.

My uncle pouted. "For science?" He queried.

Paul put the glass on the table and he cut off a large bite sized piece of his steak. He stuck his fork in it and passed it Riley. "For science?"

The vampire's pale nose crinkled as he gazed at the meat for a few moments before flicking his eyes back to Paul's. "You want me to eat flesh?" He deadpanned.

"At least it's not human!" The wolf exclaimed.

"Okay, okay." Riley breathed with a bit of nod. "I will if you will."

The wolf grinned at the vampire. "Deal." They clinked the wine glass and fork together. "For science." They said in unison and followed it up with a bit of an awkward chuckle.

Paul placed the glass to his lips and Riley touched the tip of his pink tongue to the meat only to shrink back in horror at the taste. A few seconds passed as they eyed each other skeptically, presumably wondering if the other was going to go through on the deal. The wolf tilted the cup, hesitatingly slightly, yet went for it right after Riley took the meat off the fork with his sharp white teeth and closed this lips around it.

The table fell eerily quiet as everyone watched and as soon as the blood poured into the wolf's mouth I swear I heard his stomach lurch. While Riley chewed his face progressively paled and as if he were cold his body shivered. With a trembling hand Paul hurriedly put the glass back on table, at least of quarter of it gone, and slapped a hand over his lips while his throat bobbed as he swallowed the blood – a tinge of olive green greying the copper skin of his face.

Riley's eyes squeezed shut as he shook his head and chewed. A moment or so later his eyes popped open and he grabbed Paul's plate to spit the chewed meat out onto it which caused my sister to giggle and Paul to gag. "That tastes like corpse!" The vampire cried just before he grabbed the wine glass and swished some blood around in his mouth to rid it of the 'awful' taste.

The wolf slowly pulled his hand away from his mouth. "I don't know how, even in death, that that could _ever_ taste good." He said in a quavering voice.

Riley chortled. "Maybe I should have given you wolf's blood then. It's even better. It's richer and thicker and-"

"_No_," Paul interrupted. "That sounds much worse."

The evening went much the same between the two while Eric and Emily playfully bickered beside them. James uncomfortably sat with Charlie and snuck a glance the vampire's way every chance he got. Okay, what I saw on the pool deck will never be unseen. Emily and I watched as the vampire climbed to the human's lap while they sucked face – God, I'm such a gay boy because it was kind of, well, really hot, especially when James had put his hand up the vampire's shorts. _Woo-wee..._

However, when James ran away, and quite literally so, Charlie seemed rather upset. I think Emily and I were able to make him feel a bit better. We just kept reassuring him that James is a good guy and that he'd never purposely hurt him or string him along. I also tried to explain that the human was a little late hopping onto the figuring-out-your-sexuality train and that I was pretty certain when James ran it was because Charlie had given him his ticket and the human was finally hopping aboard.

Anyway, mealtime went without incident, although the dining room was permeated with homosexuality. Seriously, all the place needed was horrible club music and for someone to whip out the assless chaps and angel wings. We would have been able to have a gay pride parade right around the dinner table because there was certainly enough of us here. I'm not complaining, heck, more the merrier, but, honestly, one day if I round a corner and catch somebody like my uncle Emmett playing tonsil hockey with another dude I wouldn't be surprised. This palace does weird things to people... queer things to people... _queird_ things to people...


	30. Chapter 30

**Guest: **I forgot last chapter to answer a quesion from a guest asking why so many of the main characters are gay. Okay, for Whipsering Heart I had Jasper/Seth and Jake/Ed. Orginally I planned on having a LOT more of Jasper, but it just didn't work out that way so the J/S relationship was never as big of a thing as I orginally intended. As for Ryan, I really wanted to do a story for him, though it had to be slash or else I wasn't interested in writing it. I was going to make up a character for him in his own story, yet I thought it might be better to have him with a character people already knew. I don't really know how I came up with the Paul idea, it just kind of happened. As for James, I pretty much hinted in WH that it was a HUGE possibility that he could like dudes in Ryan's story. When I introduced Charlie I had two different idea's I was going back and forth on for him. One of them was for James/Charlie relationship and surprisingly enough I had people asking me to put James with him before they met, so I went with it. Hope that answers your question.

**WARNING: A penis is pleased.**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty**

It was pitch dark and the rain was pouring, but I had to love the _tink tink tink_ of it on the metal roof of Paul's truck. It was the last day of November and the air outside was chilly, yet inside the vehicle it was hot, and perhaps a little steamy. I had to be home in an hour since my parents decided to start being parents and give me rules because I have a big bad boyfriend now. I'm only allowed to see Paul on Tuesday's, Thursdays, and Saturdays which I find ridiculous. I mean, I'm his alpha after all, shouldn't I get unlimited access?

Whatever, I don't argue, but that's only because I did once and my dad refused to let me out of the palace on a Saturday, which in turn made Paul miserable since he had to go without his imprint for four days. Even my father tried to convince my dad to let Paul come over on the Sunday for dinner – _just_ dinner and then he'd go. Nope, dad wouldn't budge and he went on a big spiel about how I needed discipline and to learn that my actions have consequences. What was I, five?

My dad treated me like I was some hardened criminal and he was always suspicious what I was up to. It was like he thought my teensy pack was a murderous gang and Paul was crack cocaine that I snorted on a continuous basis. He even went as far as to post guards outside my window so Paul wouldn't sneak in, which he never would in the first place, and so I don't sneak out – to be fair I would do that.

I didn't get my dad. Paul was the one person he should be able to trust unconditionally with me, but instead he's going all nuts about it. My dad and I, we've talked, we've talked a lot and he has expressed concern about the wolf regressing. He's convinced that it's only a matter of time until something triggers Paul and all the progress he's made will be lost. He says the wolf is a ticking time bomb and that one day he _will _devastate me when he turns into the old Paul again. To be honest I think my dad is just paranoid, I even said as much and suggested that he might want to look into seeing Esme, Paul's therapist, himself. After those words spilled from my lips I was certain that if I was an alpha my father's size my dad would have smacked me.

My dad did eventually apologize to the wolf about telling him to go kill himself. Although, the sorry was followed up with a 'I don't trust your stability one bit', 'I don't think you're right for my son', and 'if you plan on seeing him regularly you're going to have to play by my rules'. It annoyed me that Paul would never speak ill of my dad and would always defend him when I was upset and venting. I really wish Paul would just say, 'Fuck, Ryan, your dad is being a real prick', just so I can say, 'You're right, my dad _really _can be a big huge _prick_ sometimes'.

Anyway, the wolf played by his rules and always had me home ten minutes before curfew since I have one of those now. Part of me wanted to complain about the whole ordeal, yet the other part of me felt like I was getting the full boyfriend experience. In a way it was always kind of exciting when he'd pick me, come to the door, then have to tell my dad where we're going and why we're going there. My dad would give him a disapproving glare no matter what he said and my father would try to settle his imprint while telling us 'kids' to go have fun and not to get into too much trouble.

Trust me, pulled over down some dead end dirt road and surrounded by trees, blackness, and rain I was having fun and I was also certain if my dad knew what I was up to I'd be in a _lot_ of trouble. Paul's back seat was folded down creating a large flat space where he had soft blankets spread out. Our shirts were long lost and my bare back was pressed against the comforting material of the blankets. His lips were playing rough with mine and I couldn't help but love the fact that every time he kissed me like this the scent of his arousal was strong which proved to me just how much his body wanted mine.

The wolf was situated over top of me, his chest to mine, and his legs between my two. I revelled in the feel of his hard length inside his jeans along my own and there wasn't a chance in the world that I could stop myself from working my hips against him. Paul moaned into my mouth just before he tore his lips from mine. I thought he was going to tell me to stop like every other time we'd gotten this far, but instead his lips fell to my neck where he bit, nipped, and sucked while for the very first time he began to work his hips along with mine.

My hands slowly glided their way down his lower back, feeling every bit of smooth skin and muscle along the way. "More." Paul breathed, his moist lips tickling my soft skin. "Touch me lower." I hesitated at first, yet plucking the courage from somewhere I caught his mouth in a feverish kiss and gradually let my hands slip over the waist of his jeans to cup two firm cheeks in each palm. I couldn't tell if he growled, groaned, or if it was a mix of both as I squeezed, but either way along with it came his hips driving harder into mine in the search for more friction.

Between my legs I ached for more pleasure from the wolf as I glided my hands back upwards and gripped the flesh protecting his shoulder blades, my nails digging into his copper skin while trying to suppress the urge to grind away. Paul had one arm propping him up by his elbow to keep from laying all his weight on me and the hand belonging to the other arm eagerly explored my body with no reservations. His warm hand slid its way down the side of my stomach, his fingers lightly pressing into my flesh as he explored. Without hesitation his hand went further, brushing across my jean clad hip and to my outer thigh.

Paul slipped his hand underneath my thigh to raise my leg and bend it at the knee. I complied and let a moan seep through my parted lips as the wolf ran his hand along the side of my right ass cheek. The wolf's kiss once again turned rough and just the way I liked it. His lips were firm with mine and domineering – I oh so willingly submitted and let his tongue have its way with my mouth while he took his hand from my grey jeans, swept it up my body and tangled his fingers in my hair. I raised my other knee to grip his hips to urge him to give me more friction.

I could feel my wolf's heart hammering in his chest and hear the quick, though bordering on frantic breaths through his nose and just like his kiss the rock of his hips became rough. Paul's hand lightly tugged at my hair and his lips turned away from mine. "Fuck!" He cried, my eyes popping open. Was that a good or a bad fuck? "Do you care if I come?" He said in a breathy rush. _Good fuck, and hell no I don't! _Instead of answering I gave my mouth back to him and we quickly fell back into the same routine, except this time I didn't hold anything back. I let my hips do what they will, the chafing a little painful, but if this was going to get Paul off I'd do it a thousand times over.

The wolf's body started to tremble against mine and I trailed one of my hands down to the waist of the jeans where I fingered the material for a moment or two while I tried to figure out what I should do next. Ever so slowly I dipped my fingers inside the jeans and under his boxer briefs. I ran the tips of my fingers over the smooth curve of a firm mound and rested my palm flat against it.

I gave him a gentle squeeze and with a throaty groan his mouth fell from mine as he ducked his head beside mine, our cheeks together. "Mmm, fuck..." Paul moaned while the muscles in his back tensed and with the aide of my hand beneath his pants I guided him to me with a little extra force. His lower half quavered and his thrusts became erratic while he let out one long and languid whimpering moan.

When the wolf's hips slowed the elbow holding his weight gave out and he laid atop of me completely. I circled my arms around him to hold him protectively just because I could, and as if he had a heard of horses in his chest his heart was in a gallop with his breathing heavy. Though, gradually his breathing quieted and his heartbeat steadied. I had never heard something so beautiful as the relaxed _tha-thump_ of his heart mixed with the sound of the rain outside.

I was worried his thoughts were running amuck in his mind. I was also concerned how his stomach would react if they were – I was in awfully good firing range and my stomach isn't a particularly strong one. However, my fears were dashed when Paul turned his face to mine and started to chastely kiss along my jaw line. I turned my head to him and he lazily pressed his lips to mine.

"Sorry." Paul murmured.

I brought a hand to the back of his cropped hair to run my fingers through it. "For what?" I queried.

"For getting carried away."

I shrugged the best I could while lying down and with a huge wolf on top of me. "Get carried away _all_ you want." I happily told him. There was definitely an uncomfortable ache in my pants from being left out, but I guess that just means I get two dates tonight – one with my wolf and the other with my right hand.

* * *

A few more weeks had passed and things were getting hectic around the palace before Christmas... and that was exactly why I wasn't there, well, that, and it's a Saturday. It was early morning, yet we were all gathered at Paul's to spend the day together, and by we I mean Emily, James, Charlie and _Eric_. I am currently sprawled out on Paul's squishy brown leather sofa with my head in my beta's lap, however there is an annoying alpha that won't stop nuzzling my face and purring like a cat.

I had to say Paul's house was pretty awesome. It was at the end of a dead end road in a nice little neighbourhood. It backed onto forest and from the wooden deck off the kitchen you could hear the flowing water of a little creek just across his green grassy lawn and a few yards through the trees. The front yard is a decent size and had plenty of trees to give the place privacy. I also liked the gravel driveway that crunched under my shoes when I walked on it.

The house was only one floor which I preferred, but it had this hideous wooden shingling on the outside of it – I told the wolf he needed to fix that asap. The wolf just kissed me, smiled, and said he liked it. I then told him I didn't care and it needed to go because I felt embarrassed for him by just seeing it from the street. He furrowed his brows and explained that he didn't fall for a superficial prince and that I'll be looking at those shingles until I loved them. Was it wrong that it kind of turned me on when he put me in my place? I like me a confident wolf, yes I do.

The front door is attached to the generously sized living room and admittedly every time I walked through the door it's like entering my fantasy. I can't help but take a deep breath the moment I step in – the place smells so delicious and just like Paul, plus each and every thing he owns looks perfect to have sex on or against. I doubt he sees things that way, but that's what he gets for being imprinted on a horny and virginal teenaged werewolf. Although, he kindly lets me talk incessantly about which items he's going to have to bend me over one day. I don't think he really pays much attention though since he tends to flip through the channels on the television while I blabber.

On a completely non-sexual note there's a big fireplace built into the centre of the far left wall. He lets me have my way with it considering the ones at the palace seem to be purely for esthetic purposes. God forbid someone burns down the whole place while trying to light the thing – this is my dad's paranoia talking. Anyway, I love turning all the lights off when it's dark and have him light a fire for me. He says he thinks it's cute that I use it to roast marshmallows, well, more like set aflame. I get impatient and always end up sticking the marshmallow right into the fire. It's just quicker that way. Though, it is kind of a nuisance to have to pull off the nasty black bit and chuck it into the flames just to get to the melted good part. Somehow the wolf's always turn out a perfect golden brown... he lets me eat most of them.

I'm not certain, but I think James lives with Paul. I asked my wolf a month or so ago if he did. Paul just chuckled and said "It seems like it, doesn't it?" I mentioned I'd tell the human to go home and stay home if he wanted. The wolf politely refused and said for Christmas he's giving James a key to his place along with one of the two spare bedrooms.

"Are you going to make him pay rent?" I queried.

Paul shrugged as he handed me over a freshly melted marshmallow. "Only if he wants." He replied and I happily accepted the marshmallow and casually dropped it right into my cup of hot chocolate which I then topped with a mountain of whipped cream. He gave me a funny look and I grinned at him before taking big swig of my drink which probably sizzled off every taste bud I have. I cowered in pain for a second or two while my mouth quickly healed itself.

Once that was over and done with I flicked my eyes back to Paul's. "You don't care if he doesn't help out with the bills or something? Groceries even?"

He shook his head. "The human eats like a bird, plus he's mentioned a few times that he wished he could go back to school since he dropped out after the baseball in the face incident when he was fourteen. I was thinking he might want to do that full time instead of working. If he agrees I'm hoping I can talk him into college after he finishes. I think he'd make a wonderful youth counsellor or something. I can see kids loving his energy and he's great at coming up with ways to help – look at me for instance. His methods may be a_ little_ unconventional, but I think we both know they work. I'd be nowhere without him, or you..." He sucked in a breath and sighed. "And Esme." He grumbled.

"Paul, James couldn't even afford half a down payment for college. Plus, the student loans would kill him."

Again the wolf shrugged. "I figured I would help him out. I know he won't just take the money, but he can pay me back, and with no interest. I also don't care how long it takes him to do it. I've only got forever. Seems like a good deal to me." He said with a curt nod and a small pleased smile.

I smiled back at him. "Why are you so intent on helping him?" I questioned.

For a third time the wolf shrugged and his cheeks tinted. "That's what family's for. He's like, I don't know, my little brother, and I feel like it's my responsibility to make sure he gets every advantage in life. I feel the same about Emily, I'd do anything for her. Same goes for Eric." I felt myself nearly vomit and asphyxiate on it when I heard the alpha's name.

I gaze at Paul in disbelief. "You consider _Eric _family?"

He nodded. "Of course." Of course? "He's like that one weird cousin everybody is a bit embarrassed about, but you love them anyway."

"But what he did to you-"

"Is history." He interrupted. "Let it go, Ryan. I've seen the way you look at him. I don't know why you feel so threatened."

I pinched my thin brows together and put my hot chocolate by the fire on the raised stone hearth I sat in front of. "You and Emily are _my _wolves, _not_ his!" I possessively hissed.

Paul gazed at me and his soulful brown eyes practically overflowed with disappointment. "So, if we're yours then why the fuck are you acting like this, or are you insulting us by questioning our loyalty?" Shame, red hot shame nipped at my guts making me feel all gross on the inside... and I guess that's how I got here laying with my head in my beta's lap while I let Eric happily nuzzle my face while messing up my _precious_ hair.

"Eric!" I whined as I tried to shove his furry face away. "You're going to give me fleas!" He popped his face up to gaze into my eyes and he shook his head no with a slight snort sending watery snot into my face. "Eric!" I exclaimed. He gave me a funny little growl which I believed to be the alpha laughing at me. Scarring me for life even further he licked his long pink tongue from my jaw to temple to clean up his mess.

Emily laughed. "You boys are so damn cute."

I heard a sigh from the other end of the couch where a matching brown recliner was positioned a few feet away. "I beg to differ." James mumbled against the skin of Charlie's neck who happily snuggled with him on the chair that was built for one. The human's lips trailed up the pale flesh and all the way to the vampire's mouth for a small kiss. Truthfully, I thought Paul and I were going to be the couple that everyone was annoyed with because we couldn't keep our hands off each other. Nope, not even close.

After the James' whole realizing he wasn't as straight as he thought thing he was pretty awkward around Charlie for awhile, but the human was persistent and stuck with the vampire even though he wasn't quite comfortable with the idea of dating a guy at first. Though, weeks turned to months and I do believe I should really get around to welcoming James to the full fledged homo club.

They're so cute together it makes me nauseous. I'm pretty sure I've flown right off the human's radar because I am definitely no longer his prince, the vampire is, or at least he treats him like one. As I always suspected James is wonderful boyfriend and it's nice that he proved me right, although I'm glad he was never mine since if he had ever treated me like he does Charlie I'd have had to kill him. The human will show up at Charlie's place with flowers, write him corny little love letters, make him cards, and countless other cheesy things. You can tell the vampire adores it since he'll make his own cards, write letters to James as well, along with getting him little gifts every once in awhile.

You should have seen Eric's eyes nearly pop right from their sockets when he realized Charlie was his brother's boyfriend. I guess James had failed to mention it to his sibling, but Eric got the picture when he saw his brother with his lips on the vampire's and his hand down the back of Charlie's pants. Seriously, the human has no shame when it comes to groping that poor boy. Granted, he does try to be inconspicuous about it, though he's not, he's really not.

He also has _no_ shame when it comes to his sexuality whatsoever. I thought for sure he was going to hate himself for awhile, yet as soon he got comfortable with Charlie he'd happily mention his boyfriend in conversation to people who had absolutely no idea the human swung that way. I love witnessing those moments, especially when they asked why he hadn't told them he's gay. Paul calls James pansexual, the human agrees, though just for the sake of not having to explain that he likes people's bodies all mixed and matched he says he's bisexual, or on occasion gay.

Anyway, like I said, I like watching people do the whole 'why they hell haven't you told me you're homo?' thing. James reacts the same way each time by furrowing his blonde brows to appear slightly confused. "I don't know, why haven't have you told me you're hetero?" He'll say, and they'll always react by giving him some dumb look that probably said something along the lines of 'That's ludicrous!' which he'll follow up by saying. "Yeah, sounds fucking stupid and unnecessary doesn't it? Kinda how I feel about telling people I'm bent. What should I do anyway? Send out a mass email that says 'Guess what guys? I like to pork dudes now! Just thought you'd all like to know despite it being none of your business'. Besides, I don't particularly want _you_ coming to me just to confirm that you enjoy eating pussy. I mean, I'll give you high five or something if you want one, but only if I'll get one if I tell you I love sucking a nice fat cock." Meet James Yorkie, the kingdoms future gay activist. Parents, plug your children's ears and get out your bibles and start praying that gay away because you're going to need some divine intervention when the LGBT adults of tomorrow meet this human and realize it's pretty damn cool to be true to yourself.

Paul let me know that even at work the human is completely open about Charlie and he talks about the vampire like the others talk about their ladies. Also, one day during break the two were walking by a metal picnic table full of new employees that hadn't yet learned that my father is more than happy to pop by to help put idiots in their place.

I guess they were trying to seem 'cool' or 'funny' by shouting out a bunch gay slurs to them. Paul being the _flee the scene_ type of guy when that kind of stuff happens was stopped by James who dragged him over to the table where the six friendly neighbourhood bigots sat. The human gave them a charming smile. "Sorry, I didn't quite hear that last one. Sperm burper, was it?" The two leeches and four dogs snickered while they nodded. The human rolled his ocean blue eyes. "Ahh, okay, but I'm not so sure I get your point. Would any of you be insulted if I said your favourite food is beef curtain tacos?" Of course he got a round of no's. "Yeah, so I don't really find it offensive when you imply that I like dick, because when attached to the right person I seem to be rather fond of it."

A burly wolf huffed as he crunched his soda can. "Except what you fags choose to do is sick." He spat.

The two friends turned their heads and looked at the other for a moment. Paul was the first to look back to the group. "I think what you hets do is disgusting. In fact I find it abominable." He arrogantly stated.

James nodded in agreement. "Me too. The lifestyle you perverts _choose_ to live is utterly abhorrent. I blame the parents. I bet they were hetero's – a man and a woman can't raise a child! Everybody knows a kid needs two moms or two dads. Even a single parent is fine, but a man _and _a woman?" He paused for a moment with a disgruntled look on his face and shook his head. "No child should ever have to suffer like that."

"I fucking know, Jamie, it's disturbing that they think they can actually be a family. And, can you believe that those degenerates actually think it's their _right_ to marry each other too? What is this kingdom coming to? We can't let them ruin the sanctity of marriage!" Paul heatedly exclaimed. "We've got to stop them! I just can't stand what these sickos might do in the privacy of their own homes even though it has absolutely nothing to do with me!"

"You're right, we can't sit idly by. We should start a protest and picket in the streets. We'll make huge signs degrading them and ones that say they're all going to burn in hell. That'll show them. That'll make them change their sinful ways!" James vehemently proclaimed.

The guys at the table stared at the two as if they were nuts. "You sodomites sound fucking ridiculous." A leech hissed.

James quirked a blonde brow. "Yeah, and you breeders seem like genius fucking rocket scientists when you say virtually the exact same thing and annoy the one guy who knows how to work the crane." The human stepped forward and knocked on a wolf's hard hat that he wore. "Eeh, yeah, I don't think that would do you much good if an _accident_ were to happen."

My eyes widened in horror as Eric started to crawl up over me to get to Emily and smother her with frightening kisses and nuzzles from the beast. "Eric, stop it!" I cried while his huge furry doggy dong hung only a foot or so from my face. That only seemed to encourage the alpha and in a hurry I scrambled out from under him, toppling to the hardwood floor on my stomach from the couch.

Eric immediately took my place and sprawled out on his back on the leather sofa, dwarfing the thing. He rested his head in Emily's ripped jean clad lap. I frowned when she immediately smiled at the wolf and began to give his ears a good scratch. I then forced myself to turn my frown upside down because I didn't want to be a jealous jerk.

"Food's done!" Paul hollered from the kitchen. I rolled over onto my back with a groan – was it horrible of me that I hoped Eric's portion of breakfast was a bowl of stale kibble on the floor?


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter Thirty-one**

As it turns out there was no kibble for Eric and he happily shovelled food down his throat in nothing but a pair of sweats right beside me. The way he chews even irritates me, yet what would irritate me even more was when he'd just randomly smile at me for no damn reason. He smiled at me like we were the best of friends, he smiled like he cared, and he smiled like he didn't know I was suppressing the urge to stab my fork in his leg each time he bumped me with his elbow.

We were all at a round glass table with a black funky base in the eat in kitchen and sat in comfy stone grey upholstered seats that had legs that matched the colour of the base. It definitely had a modern feel to it, though the whole kitchen did and the black cabinetry and grey marble counters matched the table. My back was to a set of French doors that led into the living room and I was facing a large window that looked out into the backyard. To one side of me was obviously the alpha and to the other was James, then Charlie, followed by Emily and Paul – Paul ending up on the other side of Eric.

Bumping me for what felt like the billionth time Eric smiled at me once again and met my green eyed gaze. "Paul's an amazing cook isn't he? I can't get enough of these pancakes he makes from scratch." Ugh, he was trying to make small talk. I nodded and grumbled something unintelligible in reply with a roll of my eyes. But, yeah, I could clearly tell he liked them. He had to be on his sixth or seventh. Pig. "Have you had any of his desserts? They're like an orgasm in your mouth."

I stared at him blankly. "So, they taste like jizz?" I deadpanned.

Emily snickered while she dipped her sausage in ketchup and the wolf crinkled his nose. "What, no, I meant they taste so good. Name any dessert, or any food really and your wolf can make it. He grew up with a personal chef at his place and he loved to help him out an awful lot." I scowled at Eric, though only because he knew all this and I didn't.

Paul chuckled. "I can now confidently attest that it wasn't because I liked to cook or bake, but I thought he was beautiful. I hung onto every single one of his words and made sure to memorize every recipe he showed me just in case he asked about it at a later date." I felt my jaw drop. This surprised me. Do I know nothing about my wolf?

Eric tapped my arm to get my attention and I wanted to tap my butter knife right into his eye socket. "You should get him to make you one of his cheesecakes. They're damn delicious."

I blinked at the alpha. "And how many cheesecakes has he made you?" I asked, perhaps with a bit of snark.

The wolf shrugged and smiled. "I don't know, countless." His smile grew into a grin. "Try it once and you'll be hooked."

I found my eyes rolling for second time. "Oh, well, kind of like Riley then, huh?" The table fell horribly silent and everyone's gaze turned my way except for Eric's who quickly looked the other direction while any sort of happiness that he had on his features disappeared.

My eyes met Paul's and he actually seemed really angry with me. "I love you, sweetie, but if you're going to act like a bitch then I'll have to ask you to leave." He calmly told me and I felt my temper rise. He'd choose _Eric_ over his imprint, alpha, and prince?

I clenched my jaw and dropped my knife and fork my plate with two loud clanks. "Sorry, I didn't realize we were completely ignoring the fact the alpha is a pretty terrible person." I spat. The table stayed silent, though Emily looked away from me this time. "What?! It's true! It's no secret what he did to James and Paul!"

"Let it the fuck go, Ryan." Paul growled and he pushed his half eaten breakfast away from him. "If I can get past it, so can you."

I fervently shook my head. "Let it go? Let it fucking go?! Do you not remember last Christmas, Paul?!" I exclaimed as I stood to my feet. Shoving my chair away I turned to Eric and roughly yanked his head towards me by gripping the crown of his hair. Keeping my fingers pulling at his roots, I leaned close and placed my face near his. "I saw my wolf naked, bloody, and collared because of you. I will never, _ever_ forget what you said to him that night. '_Why aren't you smiling? I brought you a date._' You said while you pointed to a wolf I'd end up killing later on. '_We've all heard the rumours about you. Apparently you were quite the hot commodity in prison. You want to know how I can tell how the rumours are true?_' You then grabbed _my _wolf so hard by his face you bruised his cheeks. Do you remember what your answer was? I do. '_When I look at you I see nothing but a disgusting and dirty whore._'

"After that you roughly latched onto Paul's hair, just like I did to you, and you forced him to look up at you, just like I am now. For what you said next I'd gut you like a fish if I thought I could get away with it. '_You reek like the semen of every man that has gotten off inside you, and I just have to wonder, did you ever like it, Paulie?_' After that you smiled and laughed. You fucking laughed. You thought it was funny that my wolf was so scared he could hardly breathe. You thought it was funny that you'd practically scared the life right out of him, but, no, you didn't stop there. '_Doesn't matter I suppose, since I know for a fact you won't like it one little bit when your date gets his paws on you._' You must have felt so damn tough telling someone who'd been raped repeatedly in the past that it's about to happen again. Did it make you feel good to see him suffer when you said '_I guarantee you have no idea what a good hard fuck really feels like... but you're about to find out._'?" I shoved the alpha's face away from mine and I stood up straight.

I flicked my eyes to Paul's to see him looking speechless. I don't know what the hell happened, but I broke. I snapped like a twig and the tears came pouring. "I fucking killed someone for you!" I screamed with girly tears streaking my cheeks and my face most likely turning an awful tomato red. "I killed someone because of Eric!" I hollered as I pointed to the alpha. "And now you're practically having slumber parties and pillow fights with him!"

"Ryan," Emily sighed. "You can't blame Eric for something you did. You chose to kill the guy. You could have bit him anywhere else, but you didn't."

"If Eric didn't try to hurt Paul that wolf would still be alive." I mumbled.

Emily nodded. "Yeah, and if Paul never threw the plate at Eric he'd have never gotten pissed. If you stuck up for James instead... if James never asked his brother to spend time with him... If if if. Ultimately it was _your_ choices that killed the wolf. Not his. It's your fault." If the she-wolf was trying to make me feel better she was doing a mighty fine job of sucking at it.

I flicked my eyes from Emily's back to Paul's and mentally pleaded with him to get out of his stupid chair to come hold me, yet all he did was turn his beautiful brown eyes away from mine. I turned to James to see if he'd give me some attention and he did the exact same thing. Out of desperation I even met Charlie's eyes. His golden eyes widened and his cheeks paled while he latched his hand onto James'. I guess that's my answer, a polite fuck off.

Feeling more unwelcome in a place than I ever have before I turned by back to the table and headed out of the kitchen, through the living room, and out the front door. As I wiped away my tears I hurried down the three steps and across the little path to the gravel driveway. I passed Paul's truck and it was just my luck that I stepped into an icy puddle along the drive that soaked my foot.

I heard the slight creak of the front door opening, though decided to ignore it. I suspected it was Paul coming to give me a ride home. I doubted he'd make me run all the way – that would piss my dad right heck off. "Ryan!" I felt my fists clench when it was Eric's voice that called for me.

I halted and whipped around. "What do you want from me now?" I shouted at him. "I don't think I have anything else worth taking from me that you'd be interested in."

Eric jogged up to me, his brows furrowing along the way. "What are you talking about?" He asked in confusion. "What did I take from you?"

"Um, hello!" I exclaimed. "My wolves! Clearly you want them for yourself. Lucky you, you're doing a wonderful job of winning them over to your side."

The wolf gazed at me incredulously. "My side? I don't have a side. Christ, Ryan, I may be an alpha, and I'm pretty goddamn dumb alpha at that, but I've got enough smarts to know I've got no business having my own pack." With a sigh the wolf's shoulders hunched slightly. "I spent a lot of time with Riley, a lot of time, and sometimes that took away my urge to be around wolves and with the whole blood thing going on it was almost the last thing on my mind. With a clear head I yearn for it now. This is gonna sound so fucking gay, but when I'm around Paul I just want to rub myself on him. I want to feel the omega close to me, it makes me and my wolf feel all fuzzy inside when we get to touch him. It's a lot easier with Emily though, she likes it. I never thought I'd care much for female in a pack. I like her a lot, though."

I squinted my eyes at the wolf. "It sounds like you're trying to do exactly what you just said you have no business doing." I told him.

He shook his head. "I swear I'm not. I mean, if anything I wish, well..." The wolf paused and for the very first time I think I saw the alpha blush with embarrassment. "I've been hoping that when you realized I really do care genuinely about your wolves that you might ask me to join."

"Join what?" I growled.

"Your pack."

My eyebrows rose and I'm certain 'WTF' was written right across my forehead. "You're kidding." I breathed.

"No."

I shook my head at him. "A pack can't have two alphas." I said like he was stupid.

"I know, but you're not any alpha, you're the son of the alpha of all alphas. Any alpha would be lying if he said he couldn't sense your... I want to say dominance, but that's not really the right word for you. Power maybe. You have this air of power about you. I have no doubt that if I submitted we'd be able to create a link." He explained.

"Why the hell would you want to submit to me?" I questioned. I didn't understand why an alpha would be willing, let alone wanting to submit to another alpha, especially one that's me.

The wolf shrugged. "I just want the closeness of a pack."

I quirked a brow. "Why my pack?"

"It's so imperfect that it's perfect." He mused. "A she-wolf, _Paul_, and a pretty alpha, it's amazing. I think I'd make a really good addition." I wonder if he knew calling me pretty wasn't going to win him any brownie points with me. Quite the opposite really.

"You'll be the laughingstock among alphas, you know."

Again he shrugged, though this time it came with a soft smile. "I've thought about that, but the pack will have my back and make me feel better if it gets to me sometimes. All I want is the connection, I don't give a fuck about rank."

"Hm," I hummed. "And you're okay with taking orders if need be?"

His face lit up like a damn Christmas tree. "Are you actually considering it?!" He exclaimed in excitement. "And yes! Fucking yes!" Well, no, I wasn't considering it, not until he was asking me if I was at least. The wolf rubbed me in all the wrong ways and I honestly didn't like him one little bit, however there would be nothing sweeter than seeing the wolf bare his furry neck to me in complete submission. Plus, how awesome would queer looking little me be with an alpha in my pack? My dad would kill me if he ever found out... that was almost reason enough.

I had my pack to think about, though. Then again, it lately seems like they'd happily swap me for him. I don't know. I could be reading into things way too much. I really do just want my wolves to be happy, and if Eric being part of us made them happy which I know it would... Maybe it was a good compromise. They get the wolf they like so much while I get to do the whole keep your enemies close thing and like I said it'd really piss my dad right off since he'd inevitably find out.

My reasoning was awful, yet if it pleased my wolves, made me feel good for degrading the alpha, and showed my dad he can't control every damn thing in my life, well, it might just be worth it. The only downside would be that I was technically supposed to care for the wolf and protect him with my life and all that jazz... _technically_. I truthfully wouldn't bat an eyelash if Eric dropped dead right here in front of me. I'd feel bad for James, but that's about the extent of it. Maybe if the alpha was in my pack I could order him to jump in front of oncoming train or something... No, I wouldn't do that, not so obviously at least.

I really didn't know what the right decision was here. A big part of me wanted to tell him screw off and go die a lonely wolf because that's exactly what he deserves, yet the compassionate alpha in me was telling me to make him my own and show him how wonderful brotherly wolfish love is. That part of me thought the wolf should get a second chance, and for some stupid reason that part of me thought he could use my guidance. How? I don't know. Clearly I'm illogical and idiot.

In fact I was so clearly an illogical idiot that I found myself taking off my clothes. "What are you doing?" Eric asked with a wide eyed gaze.

I let out a huff of breath. "Want a pack? Take off your pants and shift." I snapped at him. I'd have to work on that, and on the urge to strangle him.


	32. Chapter 32

**WARNING: **Two penis's express their delight when they receive a helping hand.

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-two**

In the pitch dark of the forest I sprinted through the trees with frosty leaves crunching beneath my white paws. I leapt over an icy stream, and with only a few more strides the trees cleared and the dirt and leaves under the pads of my paws turned to stiff frozen grass as I entered Paul's backyard. It was Christmas Eve and everybody had somewhere to be except for my wolf. Emily was with her dad and grandparents, James was at Charlie's, Eric with his imprint Lauren, her husband and daughter.

My dad, however, was being a grade A asshole, or at least that's what my father called him when he refused to have Paul over for dinner tonight on the basis that I'd be seeing him _all_ day tomorrow for Christmas. None of us knew dad had called the wolf earlier in the day to specifically tell him not to come. You can't imagine how worried I was when we were all sitting around the dinner table about to eat and my wolf wasn't there like I thought he'd be.

My father immediately noticed him missing and went to excuse himself to call the wolf, yet my dad stopped him right away. "I spoke with Paul earlier and expressed that it might be more appropriate for him to wait until tomorrow to see the prince considering they'll have the whole day together with us tomorrow." My dad had explained which immediately caused a look of fury to form on father's face.

My father shot his eyes around the table. "Everybody, get the _hell_ out of my dining room!" He snapped, and our family along with myself stood up.

Dad sighed. "Come one, Jake, the food will get cold. You're being rude."

"Fuck the food!" My dad heatedly hollered as he once again darted his eyes around the room. "What the fuck are all of you just standing around for, get out!" He was pissed. His eyes caught mine. "You sit." I did exactly as I was told.

As calmly as possible my father, who sat across the table from me, turned in his seat to face my dad. "Baby," He said in a low growl. "Care to tell me what the fuck you were thinking when you thought this was a good idea?"

My dad had a blank almost bored expression on his pale and handsome face. "Our puppy, nor Paul need to get in the habit of seeing each other every day." He seemingly explained.

I heard the familiar rustle of my father's cutoffs as he undoubtedly scrunched the thighs of them in his fists. "Darling, baby," He inhaled a deep angry breath. "Love of my fucking life, it's the holidays or have you forgotten?"

My dad nonchalantly took a sip of blood out of his wine glass. "And it'll still be the holidays tomorrow."

Father rolled his brown eyes. "And will you still be a grade A asshole tomorrow as well? It's Christmas for fuck's sake!" He vehemently shouted.

"I didn't think it was that big of a deal." Dad sighed.

"No because you're not the one sitting in a goddamn house all by your-fucking-self! It's like you try to make everything as hard on Paul as possible so that way he might just crack and prove your point that he's not stable or some bullshit so you don't have to feel fucking guilty for telling your supposed best friend to go kill himself. I don't know if you're blind or dumb, as of late, you might just be both, but Paul is doing amazing. We all know you did what you did out of love for Ryan, nobody is trying to make you feel bad, so why can't you just admit that you were wrong?"

My dad took yet another sip of his blood while looking unaffected. "If Paul is doing as well as you say then he will be just fine home on his own tonight."

My father rolled his eyes. "Well, we'll never fucking know because I'm sending our puppy over there to spend the rest of the evening with him." He stated firmly.

My eyes brightened with excitement and I grinned. "Seriously?" I giddily queried.

Dad snapped his gaze to mine. "You're not going anywhere." He hissed. My grin immediately fell right from my face.

Father smiled at me with reassurance. "Seriously." My grin reappeared.

"Over my dead body!" My dad growled.

My father's grin matched mine. "You heard your dad, pup, off ya go." I happily stood from my chair and tucked it back in its place.

"Did you not just hear me?" Dad furiously questioned. He turned his head to me. "Sit down." He demanded. I didn't hesitate and pulled the chair right back out to sit.

"Babe, but you are dead. Get over it." Father huffed. "Don't be a hypocrite, you said over your dead body."

"I'm not dead!"

"Your body is."

"Technically, but not really." My dad grumbled.

Father smiled sweetly at his husband. "Ed, you're dead and I wouldn't love you any other way."

Dad smiled too, although I could see him trying to force it back. "You'd love me any way you could get me."

Father nodded and leaned and swept his lips across his imprints. "God, I love you so damn much." He mumbled as he pressed his hands to the cool and pale cheeks of my dad's. "Doesn't hurt that you're sexy as fuck either." I had to turn my head away when my father caught my dad's lips in a passionate kiss. I was grateful I hadn't yet eaten, especially when my father's hands moved to dad's hair to tug at the roots while dad's hands clung tightly to the front of his husband's shirt.

"I love you too." Dad murmured between parted lips and a kiss. Ugh, there's nothing like smelling your parents' arousal at the dinner table. I don't think it's right that I can tell them apart, but I can, and it's disturbing. Slowly my dad turned his head my way while father worked his lips against his cheek and neck. His golden eyed gaze met mine. "Ryan, make sure _that_ wolf has you home before midnight." I fervently nodded while expressing all sorts appreciation as I took off out of the room. God, my father really knew how to butter his vampire up, what a nifty trick!

I climbed up Paul's wooden steps to his deck and to the sliding glass door which was attached to the far end of the kitchen. The place was dark except for the warm glow of light coming from the living room and by the smell in the chilly air I could tell he had a fire going. I used my snout to push against the door handle and slide open the door to let myself in. After closing the door behind me I quietly strode through the kitchen and past the table.

I peeked through the French doors just in time to see the back of the wolf's head tilt back as he laughed at something on the television. He was sitting on the left side of his couch, yet if I could be smiling I would be – I don't think I've ever felt more proud of Paul than I have in this moment. He was perfectly content home alone on Christmas Eve. He had his fire going, television blaring, and the little lights shining bright on the Christmas tree Emily had picked for Paul to cut down from the forest out back.

The television sat at an angle in the corner of the room on the opposite side from the front door. A large window between the two looked out at the yard and the Christmas tree stood before it. Admittedly, spending the day as a pack of four with James and Charlie setting up the tree was perfect. We had all surprised Paul by bringing spare decorations from our homes to give to him – my wolf absolutely loved the gesture and mentioned he'd always keep them.

Eric and I still had our tiffs, or, well, I did, yet I made a great effort not to be purposely rude. So far I hadn't regretted making him part of the pack. He loved it, revelled in it, soaked up every minute he got with us wolves, and I seriously doubted it was possible for any wolf to be any happier than him. However, Emily made me furious by refusing her place as my beta the second we were all shifted together. She insisted it made no sense for her to be my beta when Eric's an alpha and it was logical that he should be second in command. Seriously, the girl had lost it, and I said a big fuck that. I felt like it wasn't even in the best interest of the pack to try and convince her otherwise. I knew if something happened where I couldn't be there she'd just hand the power over to Eric and look for direction. No, that was absolutely insane.

Ultimately I gave the position to Paul whose silvery tail wagged so excitedly I thought he was going to take off in flight. He accepted without thought. Emily was annoyed, and Eric couldn't care less. Honestly, _honestly_, Eric wasn't so bad. He needed to watch his hands... hand sometimes – that dog loved to touch and he knew nothing about personal space. Just because he was family now didn't mean my body was a free for all.

He's lucky I even give him the time of day, but I do. He's my wolf now and it would be wrong of me to not try and meet his needs. So, I cuddle him. Yes, dear god, I cuddle that beast and he loves it. Paul just laughs at me and I've even tried to pawn the monster off on him a few times but he'll have none of it. There was one time I wish I had a camera, though. It was later at night and I was all curled up on the loveseat with Emily, Charlie and James on the recliner, and Eric was passed out cold with his head on a pillow which was rested on Paul's lap.

Paul pretended to act unamused, but from time to time out of the corner of my eye I saw him brush his fingertips through the wolf's hair. I decided then that maybe Eric wasn't _so_ bad after all. My wolf clearly had some sort of love for the alpha, god only knows why. I could be way off, but it almost felt like Eric was his symbol of forgiveness, acceptance, and love. He was able to forgive the alpha wolf for the pain he caused him, accept him flaws and all as a friend, and eventually love him as a pack brother. Maybe Eric was his proof that shit beginnings can have very happy and even perfect endings.

As I gazed at Paul watching television he looked like such a stereotypical bachelor and frankly it was refreshing. He sat on his couch with a half-eaten box of pizza on the coffee table in front of him along with a three empty bottles of beer beside it while he worked on a fourth. The best part: he was in nothing but a blue plaid pair of boxers. Only a year ago just the thought of him sitting in his underwear alone somewhere probably would have been enough to give him a panic attack, but now he was doing it like it was nothing out of the ordinary.

I stepped through the French doors and gave a little whine to let Paul know I was here. Startled, he whipped his head around and a huge grin spread across his face when he caught sight of me. "Angel," He happily said. "I didn't even hear you come in." I trotted over to the armrest at his side while he put his beer on the table and turned off the TV. When he turned back to me I placed my cheek against his and he lifted his left arm to hug me close. "What a perfect surprise." He whispered into my fur.

I nuzzled my man and gave him loving licks wherever my tongue would reach while I thought about just how thankful I was to have him. Sometimes I felt he was little too good for me, I'm a little too immature, and that he has a life that's a little too difficult for a prince to fit into, although I have never once felt the need to question his feelings for me. When he looks at me I can feel the love he has for me and when he kisses me I can almost swim in it, that's how thick it is.

Paul pulled back slightly so he could look into my eyes. "Shift back." He told me while he ran a copper hand through the fur at the scruff of my neck as he removed his arm from me. I cocked my head in question – I'd be completely naked, I kind of figured he'd get me some clothes first. "Shift." He breathed. My heart came pounding to life as I imagined myself naked in front of him. I felt like there was only one possible outcome for that. Me with an excited crotch and a panic stricken Paul.

With a wolfish sigh I gazed into the Paul's soulful brown eyes to try and figure him out. "Sweetheart, shift back for me." He softly said with a kind smile. I felt like this could potentially be a very bad idea, yet I also felt like this could potentially be a very good idea. Falling prey to lustful desires I phased back and found myself crouched by the leather armrest.

As I stood the wolf made his way from the couch to me and I felt my cheeks flame when his eyes trailed my body from tip to toe. He smiled lovingly at me while he stepped close and ran a copper hand through my hair while pressing a sweet little kiss to my lips. "Before I get comfortable, for the love of god tell me your dad knows you're here." I gave him a fervent nod with a big smile and he sighed in relief.

Paul's hands came to my cheeks and he swept his lips across my forehead. "I've got to be the luckiest wolf in the world, you know." He quietly commented. My eyes widened, Paul, the luckiest wolf in the world? He nodded and brushed his lips across the tip of my nose as if he heard my question. "There's not a day that goes by that I don't thank fate for you and your persistence. I don't care if anybody ever says otherwise we were made for each other, and you've got to know that all those dreams you have for us... they're mine now too." Oh god, why does he have to go and tell me this mushy stuff when I'm naked? I feel so awkward, yet so damn happy.

I fought the urge to fan my face. My cheeks were hot with embarrassment under his palms and I knew my eyes were beginning to water – to hell with my girly emotions. "You're going to marry me one day, Paulie?" I asked him.

The wolf's hands slipped to my neck. "There's not a thing in this world that could ever stop me."

"Not even my dad?"

Paul shook his head. "Not even Edward." He gave me a chaste kiss on the lips and smiled. "You're going to give me a little alpha pup, right?"

I nodded even though the thought of puppies of my own terrify the heck out of me. I'd make a horrible father, that's just a fact, yet if an alpha pup is what he wants, then an alpha pup he shall get. "Not for a long, long time, though."

The wolf's smile grew into a grin. "I've only got forever. That shouldn't be a problem." No, that might not be a problem, though what was starting to poke me might be. I looked down between Paul and I to see him fully erect inside his boxers. "Sorry," He apologized, dropping his hands. "I kind of thought seeing you naked might freak me out a bit, so I wasn't to worried about," He pointed to his crotch. "That."

"You're clearly not freaked out. What are you feeling?" I queried.

Paul swallowed. "So fucking turned on." Our eyes flicked between each other's for a moment or two when suddenly his lips came crashing to mine. It was practically drenched in lust, something incredibly unexpected, yet incredibly welcomed. His warm copper hands gripped my sides tightly and I fought with myself as to where I should put my own. In the end they remained at my sides because I couldn't possibly touch everywhere at once and that is what I craved.

My wolf glided his hands lower and tugged my bare waist against him. He rubbed his hard length along my abdomen, and I was positive it was aching inside those plaid boxers of his. "Ryan, touch me." He breathed. Instantly my hands shot to him – he could tell me to do anything in this moment and I'm sure I'd do it. Yet, like a magnet my hands were drawn downward. I desperately wanted to touch him, but I was starved for all the places I shouldn't touch and that made my resolve close to nil.

Paul deepened the kiss, and so much so I thought I might drown in it. His hands came up and got lost in my hair while mine started to glide lower and lower. I groaned against his lips as he shifted slightly and pressed a thigh between my legs in what I believed to be him urging me to let go of my inhibitions. Whatever he meant I did just that and ground my very stiff self against his leg in search of friction and as I moaned in pleasure his fingers clenched in my hair while his teeth nipped at my bottom lip.

I snapped... I broke into a billion and one horny pieces, and just like that my thumbs hooked under the elastic waistband of his cotton underpants. I waited a few mere seconds for him to react, yet with only his tongue trailing my bottom lip I felt I was given the green light and I carefully, along with slowly began to push his boxers down his hips. I heard the sound of his breath catching in his throat while his tongue and lips pulled away from mine.

My eyes fluttered open to see him staring intently at me. I glanced between us for only a moment and caught sight of his short dark curls... only little lower and he'd be set free. "I want to see you." I whispered to Paul. "I want to know what you'd feel like against me."

My wolf nodded. "I'm not going to stop you from finding out." He whispered back. Refusing to waste even seconds I forcefully stole more needy kisses from his lips while I gently pushed his boxers far enough until they left my fingers and slid down his long muscular legs on their own accord.

Paul stepped out of them, his hands still tangled in my hair and mine slipping lower to grope two firm bare cheeks. I kneaded the smooth skin beneath my fingertips while Paul's mouth left mine to nip and suck at my neck. Happy to show the wolf he was in charge I turned my head away from him to bear my neck completely to him – he groaned, I moaned, and somehow, someway we dropped to the hardwood floor in unison.

For a moment we were a scrambling mass of limbs, yet we quickly found ourselves on our sides, legs tangled, dick to dick, arms snug around one another, and kissing sloppily while we bucked against each other like the world might implode if we didn't. Paul ran his hand along my hip and down my thigh only to roughly grab my ass on the way up – I couldn't help but whimper between his lips, though not because it hurt, but because I had never felt something so damn good before.

Just as roughly he rolled us over so he was positioned above me and I spread my legs, knees raised, while never letting the rock of my hips to come to a halt. With a huff of breath Paul removed his lips from mine as he began to lift himself from me. I was about to ask him what was wrong, though he spoke before I got a chance. "Don't fucking move." He demanded, or ordered, maybe neither, but he said it firmly enough I didn't dare do otherwise.

Rather quickly he got to his feet and fled down the hallway which was to the right of the French doors, yet to my utter relief he was back only moments later, although he returned with a small bottle in hand. He positioned himself sitting up between my legs. He leaned forward and took my hand in his and faced the palm of it upward. He clicked open the bottle which I could now see was a half used bottle of lube – I had to smirk at my wolf, I could only happily imagine what he did with the missing half. He generously placed some on my palm and put the same amount in his hand. Right after he closed the bottle and placed it on the floor a little ways from us I saw him reach for himself. I don't know what possessed me to do it, but I reached forward and took him in my palm before he got the chance to do it himself.

Paul startled and gasped, yet with only a few enthusiastic strokes he easily relaxed and I took the time to ogle what was in my hand. Call it an oxymoron if you will, but his cock looked like it was specifically made for fucking and in my opinion it should never be hidden away, not from me at least. "Feels good..." He breathed.

"You like it?" I softly questioned. Paul's eyes met mine and he lazily nodded. He leaned forward on his knees, hovering over my body to catch my lips with his. He came to rest on his left forearm and with my eyes closed, my hand gently working him, I felt something I've never felt in my short seventeen years of existence.

Paul's large heated palm circled almost every inch of my excited length and he lifted his lips from mine. "Is this okay?" He asked in a whisper and I fervently nodded in reply. Keeping his eyes to mine his hand slowly, painfully slowly, slicked me with lube – I didn't let it slow my own hand, however. "Mm," He groaned. "Keep going that pace, I'll come."

"I know." I breathily said. "That's the point."

Gradually, his hand around me started to pick up speed. "God, Ryan, you want me to come?" His tone was laced with lust, yet also surprise.

"Fuck yes." I sighed with a slight moan as the wolf's palm lightly squeezed me. "I want to see you get off... on me." Was it so wrong that the thought of him ejaculating on me made me so damn hot? Christ, I hoped his loads were big...

The wolf shook his head and squeezed his eyes closed for a moment. "Shit, I fucking love that." And, boy did he ever. He trusted into my palm to meet each stroke while his hand caught up to speed with mine. I bit my lip to stop myself from whimpering embarrassingly with pleasure and I couldn't help but thrust as well even though I knew it was going to throw me right over the edge.

Oh god, oh god, I'm way to damn virginal. "Paulie," I quickly panted. "I'm right there."

"You're going to come?" Paul groaned in question. I gritted my jaw as I tried to hold back my orgasm and nodded. "Then fucking come." He breathed. My wolf didn't have to tell me twice – I let myself go.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck..." I whined. With a large effort I forced my eyes to stay open and dear god I was so damn thankful for it because with a heave of Paul's chest and a blissful little cry he throbbed in my hand, spilling himself onto my stomach and chest just before I did the same. I found it hard to entirely enjoy my orgasm if only for the reason that I was so concentrated on the wolf. I focused on every little detail right down to the sound of his breath exiting past his lips and the twitch of the muscle in his left shoulder from the strain of holding up his body.

That isn't to say my orgasm was non-existent, because it was certainly there and it was certainly far better than any I had given myself. There is something so wonderful about Paul making me come rather than me just thinking about him doing it, especially since afterwards I didn't feel guilty for once. Plus, my wolf made it a toe-tingling, mind numbing, and a purely euphoric experience that I pray he'll want to repeat over and over again.

Paul's head hung slightly, his damp with sweat temple touching mine, as his heart pounded and his lungs sucked in needy breaths of air. "You okay?" I quietly inquired. He nodded, though said nothing while he removed his hand from me.

I gazed at the mess that we made on me and I just had to admit that I wondered what he tasted like... I'd bet big bucks that it was amazing. Trying to act casual I dipped my index finger into one of the white little puddles he made on me. Paul must have seen because he lifted his head and stared with wide brown eyes that searched mine for answers for what I was doing.

I cared nothing for speaking at the moment and brought my finger to my mouth, yet just before it reached my lips he roughly, and actually painfully hit my hand away. "Don't fucking do that!" He snapped at me. "That's disgusting! I'm disgusting!" He exclaimed.

I gazed at him dumbfounded. "What? No, Paul, no you're not." I said, though he ignored me completely as he sat up and reached to the side for his boxers. When he had them in hand he used the leg of them to wipe off my finger, followed by my torso along with drying my tip.

He tossed them aside and stood, dragging me up with him by a firm grip on my arm. "We need to get you clean." He told me, though sounded rather panic stricken. He shoved me forward, guiding me down the hall with a trembling hand on my back. He turned me into the dark bathroom and flicked on the light as well as the fan while closing the door behind us.

The bathroom was small, but modern with the sink and toilet to my left and large tub with a shower that could easily fit the two of us ahead. Paul shoved his way past me and tugged the plain white curtain aside as he bent down to turn on the water, followed by the shower. Once steam was rising he pulled the curtain half way closed and looked to me. "Get in." He sternly stated.

I quirked a brow and cocked my head while gazing at him incredulously. "Paulie, no." I murmured.

With a quavering arm he pointed to the tub. "Ryan, get in the fucking shower!" He shouted, although the panic in his tone was obvious. I shook my head and his reaction next had my heart breaking in two. He dropped his hand to his side, both hands clenching to fists while he bit his bottom lip so hard it bled and his soulful eyes began to water. "Please, angel, please." He begged. "Let me get you clean."

"But, I'm not dirty." I told him.

He vehemently shook his head in disagreement. "You are. I made you that way, so for god's sake get in the water!" He exclaimed.

Again I told him no. "How the heck did you make me dirty?" I queried.

"Ryan!" He cried, literally cried. I wanted to make those tears go away so badly. "Please! I know what it's like – I know how gross and degrading it is to be used. I know how it feels to have come on me, and I know how disgusting it feels. So, sweetheart, please, let me fix you."

"Paulie," I whined while I stepped close to him. He tried to push me away, but with a slight struggle I was able to wrap my arms around his waist and nuzzle my face into his bare copper chest. "You didn't use me, you made me feel wonderful. There was also nothing gross or disgusting about what we did, and I just so happened to love the feel of your seed on me. I'm a horny dog, Paul, I want so much more of it."

"You can't possibly mean that." He said, his arms remaining limp at his sides.

I gazed up at him and lifted a hand to brush away his tears. "I think you know I do." I replied. I moved away from him to go to the tub and once there I put the plug in the drain and turned off the shower so the water would pour from the tap. I faced my wolf and smiled at him. "You get in." I said nicely, yet it was also an order from his alpha he couldn't refuse.

When he was comfortably laying in the tub, the water slowly rising, I sat on the edge of it by Paul and lathered a cloth with a sweet smelling soap. I massaged the cloth over the thick muscles of his shoulders in an attempt to calm and relax him. Gradually, his head came to lean against the wall behind him and his eyes fluttered closed. I washed his arms all the way down to the tips of his fingers and made my way back to do his chest, followed by rinsing him free of any soap.

"Got room for one more?" I asked.

My wolf's eyes slowly opened and he held his arms out to me. "Please." I smiled at my so imperfectly perfect mate; sure, he might not think we are, but I knew the truth and I kind of figured that's all that mattered.

I stood and crawled in between Paul's legs and laid with the back of my head against his damp chest. His arms were quick to embrace me while his lips were happy to tuck a few kisses into my hair along with one on my temple and cheek. "Sorry..." He whispered. "I kinda lost it, didn't I?"

I shook my head, my hair brushing his chin. "Don't be sorry, things like this are bound to come up every once in awhile." I looked over my shoulder to meet his eyes. "And, every time it does I'll be here to make it better."

My wolf's arms tightened around me. "You promise?"

I nodded as I lifted a foot out of the hot water to turn off the tap. "I swear, Paulie."


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter Thirty-three**

If I could have been I would probably be pacing around the sitting room like a mad man. Of all the days Eric chose to get sick it had to be Christmas, and here, at the palace. My guts were telling me to go sit with my wolf on that bathroom floor while he puked up a lung or both. But, it was impossible, my father would know something was up the moment I showed any concern for the alpha. I'm supposed to hate the wolf, not want to pull him into my arms, run my hands through his sweaty, fever soaked hair and tell him I'll take care of him until he's better. Too bad for me that was exactly what I was dying to do, yet instead I had to let James and Riley look after my responsibilities.

All the presents except for three piles belonging to the missing boys' had been opened and for the most part the room had cleared. My sister who had been getting bigger and bigger every day appeared to be thirteen at the very least, and to my utter horror all the doctors are expecting her to be full grown by this time next year. She's still little miss do no wrong in dad's eyes and sometimes it really annoys me. She can get away with anything and dad doesn't even bat an eyelash, whereas if I did the same thing I'm positive I'd be locked away in my room for all of eternity... kind of like Riley.

My dad wasn't bluffing in the slightest on those cliffs a year ago. The royal leech is lucky he doesn't have to crap, because I'm certain if he did he'd have to ask his big brother if he was allowed to go. I do feel bad for him. He gets to see Eric walking free while he hasn't so much as been able to step outside the palace doors even once for fresh air. If my dad's goal was to make that vampire miserable then he's gone above and beyond. Although, the death glares Riley sends him over the dinner table always seem to disappear when Paul comes over for dinner and sits by him. They always get up to some sort of no good either, it's always fun to watch and I think my dad would even agree.

You know, sometimes I just wanted to smack my dad and tell him to get that stick out of his butt and I'm positive my father feels the exact same way. Dad still isn't doing any work as king and he still has these days at least once or twice a week where he's dressed in father's clothes and looking like he'd cry if he could. I was really beginning to worry, especially since last week I caught Esme leaving the palace early one morning. I talked to father about it and he confirmed my suspicions that my dad was seeing her.

In the middle of the foyer in front of all the guards I cried like a big baby while begging my father to tell me what the heck was going on with dad. Of course he told his puppy nothing and insisted it wasn't anything I needed to worry about. I thought that was stupid, I'm still worrying, I just don't know what on earth I'm worrying about. I wanted my old dad back so badly. He was always the voice of reason, he always knew what was best for everyone, and he was always so kind and gentle. I hadn't a clue what could change the best person I've ever known so drastically.

This man was my personal saviour, he was the whole kingdoms personal saviour. Had he never come along, had he never loved my father I highly doubt me or any of my family would be alive and god only knows what the king, my biological grandfather, would have done to the kingdom by now. My father is a wonderful king, but my dad is what the world needs, or least, he used to be.

When I said there were three piles of gifts under the tree I was lying, there's four. My own dad didn't even feel up to joining his family for Christmas, in fact he wasn't even in the palace. All I know is he took off early this morning and he hasn't yet returned even though it was pushing noon. "Don't look so glum chum, your face is much too pretty for that." Uncle Emmett told me as he poked at my _pretty _face with his pale fingers. I growled, batting away his icy hand and opened my eyes to glare up at him from the pillow I had my head comfortably rested on which was situated on his lap.

"Easy for you to say, your dad didn't skip out on Christmas." I complained.

The vampire rolled his amber eyes. "Yeah, but my dad's dead, so suck it up buttercup, it's just another day. Anyway, who the fuck cares if your dad wasn't here to see you get spoiled rotten and get a bunch of junk you don't need? I got to see, and it was hardly a privilege. To be honest it was kind of dull. Besides, I'm here, and that's all that really matters, right?" With a bored expression on my face I stared at my uncle. He grinned, showing off his sharp white teeth. "Right?" He queried. I blinked and sighed. "Right?" He repeated, and with a small smile I shook my head no. "No!" He exclaimed with happy and wide eyes and just like he used to when I was a small puppy he grabbed my sides with his chilly fingers and tickled me until it felt like torture.

I squirmed like a fish out of water and tried to shove his hands off me, though had no luck. "Okay, okay!" I laughed. "You're right!"

Emmett paused. "Sorry, what was that I didn't quite hear you?" He teased

I shook my head against the throw pillow and chuckled. "Nothing, I didn't say a thing." With those words said his hands instantaneously went back to work and I thanked the lord for having a strong bladder. "Fine, you're right, you're right!" I cried.

The vampire gave me a big dimpled grin as he brushed the messy hair out of my face that had gotten there from all my wiggling. "Good, I'm glad we agree." He said with a curt nod.

"_Dad_!" I heard E.J. whine as he entered the sitting room. "Momma said I couldn't have those cookies like _you_ said I could."

"What are you complaining to me for?" Emmett huffed with a playful smirk. "You've got a stocking full of goodies that will rot your teeth right out of your skull that's nowhere near your mother, eat that. Use your head, kid." The boy's big brown eyes brightened as he grabbed his stocking off the ottoman and sat on the L-shaped couch close to my father who sat thigh to thigh with Paul. My wolf sat content holding and making such ridiculous faces at Quil's son Liam, making the tiny little pup giggle in delight. Quil had volunteered the 'reformed wolf' as he put it to watch his puppy while him and Claire took some time to themselves in their bedroom. I think we can all assume what they're doing in there.

I chortled as I sat up and looked to my uncle. "What kind of father are you, Emmett? His mother said no."

"Whatever." He sighed. "He's a fucking puppy for god's sake. It's not like that crap is going to spoil his appetite for lunch any. Trust me princey, when you're a father there will be nothing more annoying than the other parent to your kid telling them no for bullshit reasons."

"Amen to that, brother." My father put in.

Paul furrowed his brows and looked over to his old alpha. "Ed doesn't have bullshit reasons for anything." There he goes putting his 'best friend' on some kind of pedestal.

My father cocked his head and gave the wolf a gaze that I was certain said something along the lines of 'I'm sorry you're so stupid, Paul'. "Yeah, and what was his wonderful reason for dinner last night?" He asked.

"Um," Paul said in confusion as he placed Liam down the floor to play with his new toys by his white socked feet. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Uh, hello, he called you and told you not to come to dinner."

"What?" Paul laughed. "No he didn't. You must have misheard him. I called and told him I wasn't coming."

My jaw dropped and my father's did the opposite by clenching. "You didn't want to spend Christmas Eve with me?" I somewhat whined in question.

"Sweetie-"

Emmett cut Paul off by hitting my shoulder and talking. "God, I love it when you queer dudes call each other pet names. It's so damn gay, yet oddly endearing in the most homosexual way." I thought it best just to ignore my uncle and look back at my wolf.

When I caught his eyes he continued. "It was my first Christmas with my own home, I wanted to be there instead – I really didn't think it was a big deal and I said as much to Ed when he tried to convince me otherwise. I told him I'd have all day with you today. Besides, I don't want to get in the habit of seeing you every day, and don't go thinking it's because I don't want to see you, it's the exact opposite. If I had my most selfish way, your face would be the one I saw each night before I went to bed and the first one I see when I wake up, plus you'd be there to greet me at the door every day after work while every weekend you and I would go on a new adventure just the two of us. But, that's not our life, not yet at least, and until then this Tuesday, Wednesday, and Saturday thing works best for me. It keeps my neediness in check, and right when it starts to really hurt I get to see you again. Although, Monday's are kind of like the Devil's day, yet I deal. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is the more I get of you the more I want, but your place is here and I can't be hogging you all the time, so routine is good for me." He paused for a moment. "_However_," He said with smile. "If you want to surprise me like you did last night once or twice a month and preferably on a Sunday or Monday, I'd really fucking love that."

"Awe shit..." My father hissed. "After Ed and I had sex I gave him such hell for calling you too." He suddenly chuckled. "Okay, and a bit during as well."

My face scrunched. "Ew." Me, uncle Emmett, and E.J. said in unison.

Father shook his head and looked over to Paul. "Any idea why Ed would lie and say he told you not to come?" He inquired.

The wolf shrugged. "He probably thought it'd hurt your pup's feelings. I mean, he expressed as much to me, but I told him if Ryan was actually upset about it just to call me back and I'd run over. I guess he didn't want to take the chance and for some reason would rather Ryan be angry with him instead of me. I don't know, Ed's logic has been a little wishy-washy lately."

"Yeah, a _little_..." My father grumbled. "Do you talk to him often?"

Again the wolf shrugged. "A couple times a week, so yeah, I guess. If you're fishing for information I don't have any." He told him.

"You talk to him that often?" I queried. "Why wouldn't you tell me this?"

Paul nodded. "Yes, and I figured it was kind of obvious I'd be talking to him, he's your dad, plus my friend – we're going to talk." I love Paul, but I wasn't so sure how I felt about this forgiving Paul. I was beginning to think he'd be easy to take advantage of, especially since he's so damn nice to everyone. From what James has said he's even gotten pretty buddy-buddy with the bigots at work. The thing that pissed me off the most about it was the fact that after his therapy sessions on Friday's he goes out drinking with these losers. I asked if I could at least meet them since he knows how I feel about them. He told me no and that they wouldn't understand a boy like me. I had no damn clue what that meant and I've been very tempted to order him not to see them anymore. So far I haven't taken advantage of my alpha role, but press me much further and I just might.

Startling me my dad entered the sitting room in a blurry flash and stood a little ways from my father and Paul. "Love, we need to talk... privately." He said in a mere whisper.

A look of dread came over my father's face. "Tell me they're alright." He murmured in reply.

Dad shook his head. "Just the baby, Jake." My father leaned forward with an unhappy sigh, elbows on his knees and his face in his hands. "I want to get this over with and it's not me he should hear it from."

Father nodded against his hands. "Emmett, do me a favour and tell Eric to meet Ed and I in the foyer."

"Eric?!" I exclaimed in concern and question. My dad turned around to gaze at me skeptically and I decided I needed to change my tune a bit. "I mean, what did he do now?"

With a huff of breath my father sadly stood from his spot. "He didn't do a thing, puppy, just wait here and I'll talk to you about it later."

I watched the three the men leave, E.J. trailing along behind his father with a mouthful of chocolate. I shot my gaze to my wolf. "This sounds bad, Paulie."

The wolf frowned. "I think Lauren got hurt or something. You have to go out there and be with Eric when he hears this, Angel."

"What if my dad freaks if I try to comfort him? I don't want anything bad to happen to Eric if my dad gets angry."

Paul sighed. "He won't get angry, but either way Eric's your wolf now, you'll do what needs to be done."

My eyes widened. "Are you telling me to fight my dad if I have to?" I asked.

"No, I'm saying you'll do what needs to be done to protect your wolf and make sure no harm comes to him."

* * *

I walked into the foyer and came up behind Eric who had James at his side holding an old plastic ice cream bucket while he vomited into it. I had to bite my tongue from telling off my parents – Eric shouldn't be standing... he should be in bed.

"Puppy, go wait in the sitting room like your father told you to do." My dad sternly said.

I heard Eric spit into the bucket and slowly he turned his to see me. "Ryan..." He whimpered. I swear, faster than the speed of light I was to my wolf and wrapping his arm around my shoulder so he could bear his weight on me while I clung to his waist. "Where have you been?" He pathetically murmured.

I looked up at him to take in his pale and pasty face along with his hair that was matted with sweat. "Opening presents, you idiot, just like you should have been. What the hell have you gone and done to yourself?" I questioned while doing my best to ignore the incredulous looks my parents were giving me.

"Done to myself?" Eric whined. He shook his head, although this caused his stomach to churn and for his watery stomach contents to have a date with the bucket James held onto. When he finished he gazed back at me with teary eyes caused by the strain of getting sick. "I blame Lauren." He groaned. "That woman never learnt how to properly cook. I've called her like ten fucking times, the poor broad is probably just as ill as I am. God, I may love her to bits, but I'll be damned if I ever let her feed me again."

"Eric," My father breathed. "It's actually Lauren we need to talk to you about."

"Oh, shit..." The alpha moaned. "She's that sick, huh?"

My dad flicked his golden eyes between James and I and took the bucket from the human's hands. "You two go wait in the sitting room while we talk to the wolf."

Eric met James' eyes. "You go." He looked to my dad. "Can Ryan stay? I feel like I'll fall without him." My father nodded in reply, though told James to stop stalling and get lost.

When the human was gone I felt my mouth go dry and my blood run cold by the expressions on my parents' faces. I knew this wasn't going to be good. "Eric," My father once again breathed and the alpha's hand gripped my shoulder so tightly it hurt. "Lauren and her husband... there was an accident."

I could see the panic forming on Eric's ill looking face, yet somehow he forced out a chuckle. "She's always been clumsy. What did she do now, burn the house down?" He jestingly queried.

I watched my dad's Adam's apple bob as he swallowed in a clear look of apprehension and a depressed frown twisted his peachy pink lips. "I'm so sorry, Eric." He said in a near whisper.

"For what?" The wolf deadpanned.

"There _was_ a fire." My father put in. "It was truly an accident, electrical they're saying."

"Okay..." Eric drawled. "But, Lauren is fine, right?" He asked and both my parents shook their heads no. "Where is she? The hospital?!" He was beginning to get worked up and I had to bite my bottom lip to keep myself from saying anything. Again my parents shook their heads no. "Then where the fuck is she?!" He exclaimed.

"She's gone, Eric." Father said.

The alpha stared at him in confusion. "Gone? Gone where?"

Dad sullenly sighed. "She's dead. They're both dead, Lauren and her husband." He explained, and I felt my heart drop to the very pit of my stomach.

Eric darted his eyes between my dad and father. "What is this? Some sick joke? Are you two seriously not over the Paul thing? We're bro's now, we're cool, ask him. He wouldn't want you to fuck with me like this."

"Eric," My father said, voice cracking. "Look at you, you're sick because your body and wolf can't feel your imprint. You've got to feel the dread, you've got to know she's gone."

The wolf's fingers dug into my shoulder causing me to grit my teeth in pain. "No." He whimpered. "Just no. I was there until late last night and she was fine."

For a second time I watched my dad's throat bob. "You're going to have to think about what you want to do. Neither of them had any family and they have all the proper documents saying that their daughter Katie goes to you." Leave it to my dad to get straight down to business.

"Shut the fuck up!" The alpha screamed, his deep booming voice echoing around the foyer. The yelling was clearly too hard on his weakening body since hardly a moment later discoloured bile rose from his stomach and into the bucket my dad held.

"We'll get you through this." Father softly told Eric.

"There's nothing to get through." The wolf grumbled over the bucket.

Again my dad sighed. "Your imprint died, Eric. She was pronounced dead at 7:02am this morning. I saw her body in the morgue myself." The wolf looked up at my dad while wiping his lips on the upper arm of his shirt and slowly, so slowly, he turned his head my way and caught my gaze.

Eric's lips started to tremble while his jaw tightened. "Lie to me." He ground out through gritted teeth. "Lie to me, Ryan. Tell me she's fine." Oh god, oh god, I don't know if made me a terrible alpha, but I couldn't lie to him like that. Instead I pulled him to me, wrapping my arms around his waist and hugging him tightly while nuzzling his chest, the top of my head just barely peeking over his shoulder.

I felt his nose dip into my hair and his one arm hold me tight as his body started to shake. "I can't do this." He murmured against me. "I can't fucking do this. This isn't right... this isn't fucking happening. I saw her last night." He choked out the last few words as tears got the best of him. "She was smiling." He cried. "I heard her laugh." He continued with oversized tears wetting my hair. "She kissed my cheek under the mistletoe. I felt her lips on me... nothing felt more perfect." I squeezed my eyes shut to force my own tears back. Eric needed me to be strong for him, not cry along with him.

Unexpectedly, the wolf's legs went weak and he dragged me to the marble floor with him as he fell. "No..." He quietly cried while sitting on his ankles and leaning forward to bury his face in my lap. He grabbed the side of my jeans as he began to sob and I buried my hands in his damp hair as I swallowed back the lump in my throat. "Oh, god, fucking no..." He bawled.

My father came to the alpha and crouched at his side as he laid a hand on Eric's shoulder blade. "There's a reason for every imprint, Eric. Fate knew this would happen and fate gave you your connection with Lauren so one day a little girl wouldn't be lost in this world without a daddy. There are ways of surviving this. Samuel Uley, Emily's father did. You just got to be strong and want it enough."

Eric raised his head from my lap, his pasty face blotchy with his eyes drowning in tears. He pushed away my father's hand and looked to me. "Ryan," He sobbed while I took the time to clean beneath his eyes and under his nose with the ends of my sleeves. "Please get it off me." His face scrunched into ball of misery and the tears came faster than I could erase them as he fingered the metal collar around his neck. "Get it off."

"That stays and you know it." My dad firmly stated. In that moment I had never felt an urge more strong to hit my own parent.

Eric's hand latched onto the collar in a panic, presumably from my dad's words, and he started to pull on it causing him to tear the skin at the back of his neck. "Get it the fuck off!" He screamed through snot and tears. "Get it off! Get it off!" He hollered on while yanking at the metal and making one hell of a mess of his neck.

"Okay, okay!" I cried as I pressed my hands to his clammy cheeks to try to get his attention. "Calm down, just calm down, I've got you, you know that."

"Ryan!" He wailed. "Get it the fuck off me!" My eyes widened and I forcefully ripped his hand away from the collar with my two to get him to stop hurting himself and I lifted him up a bit on his knees so I could get my hands into his pants pockets.

Finding the key I sat him back down and quickly as I could I got the collar off from around his neck – consequences be damned – and chucked the clunky metal aside with a loud clank as it hit the floor. As I suspected my dad appeared furious while my father seemed somewhat relieved. Dad snatched the collar up from the floor along with the key. "This _will_ go back on." He menacingly informed Eric which only caused his painful and pitiful sobs to get louder.

I snapped my greened eyed gaze to my dad's golden one. "So much as breathe on this wolf funny and I'll make that lab you grew up in seem like a fairytale." I snarled. Both my parents' jaws dropped and I had to clench mine to stop it from doing the same. Christ almighty, I have no idea where my anger came from, but it was there and bubbling with a vengeance, and I knew in that moment, family or not, you don't fuck with _my_ wolves.

I pulled a tearful Eric to me protectively and guided his face to the crook of my neck for his comfort and partly to hide him away – he didn't need to see my dad glaring at him like he was. "Paul." My wolf whimpered, his waterlogged eyelashes brushing against my skin and his hand roughly running along his bare neck. "I need Paul."

"Oh, no way." Dad breathed. "That wolf should not see something like this." I didn't know if he meant Eric so upset, or another wolf clinging to me, but either way my dad was dead wrong and damn stupid.

I met my father's eyes who still sat crouched by Eric and I, though he kept his hands to himself. "Can you get Paul?" I somehow nicely requested. Even though my dad instantly told him not to, my father stood and walked off to gather the wolf.

Thankfully my dad remained silent, although fuming while Eric cried and I waited for Paul to get here from the sitting room. I wiped away the blood from the back of his neck with his grey long sleeved shirt. His flesh was quickly healing, but I still didn't like the look of it and for some irrational reason I didn't like him bloody around my dad for the only reason that he's a vampire, even though I'm certain you could starve and dip my dad in vat of blood and he would still be able to resist drinking any. I just wanted my wolf safe and right now he was at his most vulnerable, so I guess, in turn, that made me feel paranoid.

Soon enough Paul came into view trailing along behind my father and the second he lifted his head and noticed the situation along with Eric's sobs he came sprinting over. He came to the floor beside me and lifted Eric's face from the crook of my neck. "Paul..." Eric sadly moaned with tear stained cheeks. "What am I gonna do now, Paul?"

"Here, come here." Paul soothingly murmured as he pulled Eric off of me and brought the alpha wolf to him, though the wolf was not willing to let go of me and tugged me with him, making us a tight bundle of three. "Tell me what's going on."

Eric ducked his he head, his cheek flat against the middle of Paul's chest and his face pressed against mine. Both Paul and I had a hand buried in his damp hair and an arm wrapped around each other. "My imprint..." The alpha sobbed. "She died, Paul." Paul's eyes met mine and I nodded in confirmation.

The wolf's hands slipped from Eric's hair to hold him in a loving embrace. "What are you going to do you ask? You're going to grieve for however long it takes, then pull your shit together and give yourself a good life."

Eric shook his head against us. "I want to be wherever Lauren is." He near silently cried.

Paul sighed. "You're too good to think that shit. You know what I thought of her eleven years ago, so you can take wild guess and presume what I think of her now. I doubt my opinion means much, but that woman is _not_ worth you following her to the grave. She fucked around behind your back when you were together and when you weren't she just plain fucked you around. Did she ever mention your thing with Riley? No. Did she ever mention the collar? No. Did she ever mention your arm? No. She may have thought she loved you once a upon a time, but I think it's pretty fucking clear as day that she hasn't given a rat's ass about you for years, and trust me, Eric, I'm not saying this to be mean, I'm saying this because I don't want some selfish girl taking a very good friend of mine away."

"He's right," I agreed. "She may be your imprint, but she's no reason to die, not when you've got so many people on earth to live for and that love you."

Again Eric shook his head no. "You're full of it." He groaned.

"No, I'm not. You know James loves you. So does Riley, even Emily"

"And especially me." Paul added, giving Eric a little shake. I heard a slight intake of breath, though I didn't have to look around to know that it belonged to my dad. I don't think he liked Paul's confession of love for the wolf.

I leaned close to Eric and nuzzled my cheek against his while giving him a few tiny kisses along his jawline. "But, you're _my _alpha wolf and I dare say I love more than all of them." For a moment I thought I was lying to him, yet the more I thought about it the more I knew it to be the absolute truth. Unless you're a parent there's no love stronger than an alpha's love for his wolves, and by god did I ever love my alpha wolf.

With his tears staining not only his cheeks, but one of mine as well Eric began to nuzzle me back. "I'd die the most painful death to keep you safe." I whispered to the wolf. "There's no way I'm letting something like this take you away from me and all the people who love you. I'll be with you every second of every day for the next _ten years_ if that's what it takes to get you back on your feet. You're not alone in this, and I swear I'll take care of you."

Eric brought his hand up and placed it to my exposed cheek to keep me firmly to him as he continued to cry. "Please, please, please promise me you mean all that."

"I promise, Eric – I won't let you down. You're my wolf and I'm your alpha. I'm the one that will always protect you and I'll do whatever it takes to see you well. You have my word."

* * *

**PLEASE READ: **_I have decided on two possible different ways to take this story, however one is rather controversial and I decided to get all of your opinions before I make a decision. How do you feel about mpreg?_


	34. Chapter 34

**Thank you all so much for your opinions about mpreg! I have made up mind and know what direction this story is headed.  
**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-four**

_Point of View: Jacob  
_

I stood in the doorway that separated my bedroom from the washroom and watched my beautiful vampire stare at himself angrily in the mirror. He had been doing this for what felt like hours, yet it was when he lifted Eric's metal collar and slowly closed it around his pale neck that I finally decided to speak up. "Baby, why are you doing this to yourself?" I queried, and despite my soft tone of voice my husband startled, ripped off the collar and dropped it into the sink with a loud clank.

Yet, even though I startled him he never took his eyes of his reflection. "If the seventeen-year-old me could see who I'd turned out to be I'd find myself appalled." He said just before he inhaled a needless, though shaky breath and ran a perfect hand through his messy hair. "Years ago I could have forced Paul to get help, I could have had him committed and gotten him all the best people from around the world to make him whole again." He squinted his hungry dark eyes and glared at his image as if he were trying to recognize himself. "Instead I threw him out of his home, the one place he felt safe, and added an inconceivable amount of pain to his suffering for five long years."

"Eddie," I sighed. "That had nothing to do with you. That was Paul's own choice."

Biting his peachy-pink bottom lip my vampire shook his head. "No, I told him he had to go and when the day came I played along like some sick fuck and pretended like I didn't want him to leave. I kept my best friend away from his imprint for over sixty months. That's more than 1825 days, which is 43,800 hours, or 2,628,000 minutes, basically 157,680,000 seconds." I hated when he did that, but I wasn't about to question his math, god only knows I can hardly add two plus two, though I had a hard time believing someone as sweet as my Eddie would do that to someone, let alone Paul. Call it denial if you will – I know my vampire can be tough sometimes, but someone around here has got to be.

"I could have killed Eric tossing him off that cliff and I wouldn't have cared if his head bashed against every rock on the way down leaving him a bloody and broken heap at the bottom. The wolf's a prick, yet being a prick is no justifiable means for death. If so, I'd have died a dozen times over." My husband's two hands gripped the sides of his hair. "What the hell am I doing tossing someone off a cliff and getting away with it for? 'Cause I'm king? It's alright to kill people because I'm king?!"

"Edward, baby, stop this. You didn't kill anybody."

"I feel like I did." He whispered.

I shook my head. "Well, you didn't. Eric is the still the same mess he has been for weeks, Paul is fucking glowing, Riley is dealing, and our son adores the hell out of you."

"If Ryan knew... if he knew what I did to Paul..."

"Babe, you did nothing to Paul. He left on his own."

Faster than my eyes could see my imprint dropped a hand to the sink, grabbed the collar and threw it so roughly against the mirror he shattered it and had the metal sticking out of the wall. "You're not listening! I said I made him go!" Edward screamed with his face contorting in contempt for himself. "For almost every one of those sixty months I'd catch him in the forest outside of the palace and stop him from coming into view. Seeing into Eric's mind as he deals with losing his imprint I know it's not even a quarter of what Paul felt just being away from Ryan, yet somehow each time I managed to ignore Paul's pleading no matter how many tears or how sick he was and made him leave all over again. He'd even beg me just to see the puppy, just to see him – have him come outside just so he could feel him in the air and smell him from afar. I never once even entertained the thought."

I felt my fingers curl and my hands turn to angry balled up fists as I slowly backed away from the washroom. "What are you doing? Where are you going?" Edward called after me.

"Paul was my beta!" I snarled at him while he followed me from the bathroom. "I knew something was up. I knew I should have ordered him to stay, but it was _you_ who convinced me otherwise. You said it was best for him. You told me he might be able to find himself. You're nothing but a fucking liar that would have watched his best friend die and his son suffer because of it!" I hollered. I turned my back to the vampire and headed toward the closet door.

"Jake, I'm sorry! You have no idea how sorry I am!"

Edward grabbed my shoulder to stop me and I whipped around to gaze heatedly at my husband while tearing his cold hand off me. "You're right, I have no fucking clue how sorry you are, but I'm willing to bet not a whole hell of a lot! How sorry were you when you tried to talk him into leaving a second time?" I loudly queried and gritted my teeth trying to shove my rage back. "A second fucking time!" I hissed. "You tried to make him leave a second fucking time!" I yelled. "You're absolutely right about one thing, the old you would be appalled. He'd fucking hate you."

"Jake..." My vampire whined.

I shook my head in fury. "Fuck you, Ed. That was _my_ wolf. Mine! You had _no _right! None! I went years thinking I was some huge failure as an alpha and that I had somehow been a part of driving my own beta away, when in reality, you're the goddamn failure! You did it!" I shouted at him.

"I was just trying to do the right thing by Ryan." He whimpered.

I nodded with a roll of my eyes. "Have you lost your fucking mind? I can't possibly fathom how you'd think having our son's mate die is the right thing for him. You know, Ed, there was once a time when you talked about how much you prayed that Ryan would one day be able to make Paul see the light of day and all the pleasures life has to offer. Well, he's fucking done it, but nothing is good enough for you now. There's always going to be something about Paul that makes him not good enough for your precious little puppy.

"You're fucking blind and a fucking dunce if you can't see the cold hard facts. Ryan isn't some precious little puppy anymore, he's a wolf and an alpha, and one of his wolves just so happens to his mate – that is a bond you do _not_ want to come between. The day is rapidly approaching where your rules won't stop him from being with his mate full time and I think we both know Paul won't ever be moving back here. The prince will be leaving the palace and I seriously hope it's not going to be because you drove him away."

A depressed frown marred my imprints face and it took all my strength not to go to him and comfort him. "I wouldn't do that." He murmured.

"You're right, you won't!" I furiously growled. "I won't fucking let you. I'd sooner have my own imprint leave than my baby boy."

Ed's black eyes widened. "What?" He gasped in question.

I pointed to the closet door while willing myself not to shed a single tear. "Pack your shit and get the fuck out, Edward." I sternly told him.

"You can't be serious!" He exclaimed.

"I've never been more."

Edward shook his head, eyes panicked, and hands gripping at the front of my sweater he wore. "Jacob, please tell me you're not saying what I think you're saying."

I shrugged, my heart pounding, and soul aching with my body wanting nothing more than to crumple into my vampire and tell him everything is fine. "What, that we're over? As far as I can see you left me long ago." Edward shook his head fervently in disagreement and I paused for a moment. Not being able to help myself I took a step closer to him. "Baby, what am I supposed think? God knows you're worth more to me than the air I breathe, but what exactly am I to you if you can lie so goddamn easily to me?... And, for years at that."

Edward closed the distance between us and placed his cool milky hands on my warm copper cheeks. "Everything, you're everything to me – you've got to believe that, I know you do." I nodded, because I did, I did know that. I knew my vampire was crazy in love with me... but, fuck, I loved him so much more. I'm such a tool. I'd be on my knees begging my imprint to come back to me before he even got out the bedroom door. We weren't over. Even if I died we wouldn't be over – I'd just be impatiently waiting for him to meet me on the other side. "Each screwed up thing I've done, I've only done to try and protect those I love most. I'm terrified of all the ways Paul could break Ryan's heart. I'm terrified of my brother doing something so damn stupid that I lose him completely. I'm terrified that Eric will be a bad influence on our pup. I'm terrified Paul will revert back to his old self." Edward dropped his hands back to his sides as his brows furrowed and his eyes dropped – a simple gesture I knew meant he was crying on the inside.

"I want each and every one of Ryan's dreams to come true, especially the ones that include Paul. I've been in our boy's head enough times to know just how special the love is he has for the wolf. Though, it's Paul's head I can't get mine around. Awhile ago you mentioned I make things harder on the wolf, as if I was trying to set him off... I'm guilty of that. I know it's going to happen. I fucking know this, and I can only pray it's me or anybody else but Ryan that does it. If our pup knew some of things that crossed Paul's mind... he'd be devastated, Jake."

I let out a sigh. "What do you mean, what does the wolf think?" I asked.

Eddie flicked his black eyes back up to mine. "Almost every thought I've caught belonging to Paul when it comes to Ryan is nothing but love and adoration. He truly believes that one day Ryan will be all his and they'll have some sort of magical happily ever after, yet there are other rare times when his mind buckles and nothing but a whirlwind of memories from prison take hold of his every thought – it's those moments that scare me, because in those moments he's repulsed by his actions. He's disgusted that he'd let Ryan touch him the way he does and his stomach churns with the thought of kissing his prince's lips. He questions himself. He wonders if he should run... just take off, run, and never look back. He'd die, he knows he'd die, but in those moments he'd do anything to escape the imprint."

I shook my head and narrowed my eyes in on my vampire. "You're full of it. Paul would never think those things. Not anymore at least." I told him.

"I wouldn't lie to you!" My imprint cried. I just had to cock my head and cross my arms while giving one hell of pissed off 'are you kidding me?' kind of look. "Not about that..." He mumbled. "Look, even talk to his therapist Esme, she'll confirm what I'm saying. Paul has talked lots about those thoughts with her."

I took a step back from him as I tried to hold my jaw in place to keep it from dropping. "And how would you know what Esme and Paul talk about?" I queried and my question gained me one large guilty expression from my vampire. I took yet another step away from him while shaking my head in disbelief. "Tell me you didn't do what I think you did. There are confidentiality laws for a reason, Edward. Tell me you didn't make her break them just because you're a nosey king."

Eddie's face fell to a look of shame. "I'm sorry, Jake. I had to know... I needed to know. I only did it for Ryan."

"You're sorry?!" I exclaimed in a fury. "Do you even fucking know what sorry means?! Is there any truth that comes out of your mouth? You _told_ me you were seeing Esme to help you sort out your differences with Riley, yet you fucking lied to me! Instead you were pumping the woman for information about our son's mate!"

"I had no other choice! I had to know if Ryan was safe!"

My eyes widened and had I only have the crappy hearing of a human I wouldn't for a second believe what I just heard. "Safe?!" I hollered. "What in the fuck have you gone and got stuck in your head? Are you paranoid, delusional, or just plain goddamn insane, Edward? That wolf is the one person in this world that I can trust indefinitely when it comes to our puppy. He'd sooner tear off his own limbs and roll into a pit of flames than have something bad happen to his imprint."

"What I said about his thoughts is true." Ed lowly growled.

I rolled my brown eyes while I let out a huff of breath. "Considering his past I'd say those thoughts are justifiable. Maybe you need to realize those thoughts don't seem to be all that uncommon anyhow – I'm pretty fucking disgusted with my own imprint right about now." My Eddie sadly strode forward and tried to place his hands on me, though I roughly hit his arms away. "Don't fucking touch me!" I snapped at him. "I don't even know who's touching me, the sweet little vampire I married or the liar and the fake he turned into."

"Jacob..." He breathed. "I'm not a fake."

I glared into his dark eyes. "If you're not a fake then you're an imposter because I don't know who the fuck you are. You look like my husband, smell like my husband, even taste like him, but you're _not_ him. I don't want you. I don't love you. I love my husband. I _need_ my husband." I darted my eyes up and down his body and gestured toward him. "You are _not_ my husband!" I spat.

Again Edward tried to put his hands on me. "Love, please!" He practically begged. Losing my cool when his soft hands touched the bare skin of my arms I slammed my palms to each side of his chest, shoving him backward. The second I saw my imprint fly from my palms the guilt was unimaginable and I tore after him. With no time to spare since he was only mere inches from hitting the floor I latched onto the front of the black sweater he wore and heaved him back up to his feet.

"Oh god!" I cried while my hands darted around him checking him for any sort of injury. I lifted up the shirt and pulled it over his head. "Oh god..." I whined as I pressed my fingertips to the spiderweb like cracks along his chest where my palms had hit him. "Oh god, baby, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to. I'd never hurt you." I fervently apologized.

My vampire's eyes stared at the floor as he shook his head and the cracks healed beneath the pads of my fingers. "It's fine." He whispered. "Didn't even hurt..." Abruptly my husband's face contorted into a look of anguish and he threw himself to me, his cool and toned arms squeezing me tight around my ribs as he buried his chilly face in the crook of my neck. "Don't leave me, Jacob; please don't fucking leave me." He pleaded.

My heart broke for my beautiful imprint. He was such a mess, but I'd never leave him for it – not in a million fucking years. The vampire is mine, all mine, for better or for worse. "Edward..." I cooed as I hugged my arms around him. "I'd set the whole kingdom ablaze before I'd let anything part me from you. You and our babies are the three things in life I can't possibly live without – no way, no how." I pulled back slightly and lifted my husband's face up so I could look into his eyes while I ran my fingers through his hair. "It's time you let me take care of you, alright? I'll get that head of yours sorted, you just gotta leave everything to me."


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter Thirty-five**

_Point of View: James  
_

It's kind of cute how ridiculously happy Paul is. Sure, the creep has his random moments of gloominess, but I'd say the wolf has pretty much gotten his shit together. I say pretty much because there are nights, late nights where I should be sleeping and so should Paul, but he's not and neither am I because I can hear him crying. I've been tempted to go talk to him, though I never have. I figure there's a reason for him picking a time to let the tears spill when he thought my ears couldn't hear him. He has talked to me about fucked up shit before – if he wanted to talk he'd talk, there's no doubt about it.

Anyway, like I said the wolf more often than not is as cheery as a puppy. One might think he's dabbling in amphetamines, but I knew better. Paul finally had a pretty girl in his life, all be her a whole three years old and Lauren's daughter. I never pictured the mongrel as the parenting type especially since it took him how many years to learn how to take care of himself? Too many, that's how many. Doesn't fucking matter really, since he's kind of a natural, which begs me to wonder where the hell was this Paul when I was a kid? I can specifically remember fearing swimming in the palace pool when the wolf was around. He always gave me these eyes that made me shiver and think he was a short two minutes away from drowning me in the chlorinated water. I had the same kind of feeling when I'd play outside in the snow with the prince. The wolf would be standing there, arms crossed, and give me this damn frightening and threatening glare. I swear he was thinking about stripping me and burying me in the snow to turn me into a Jamesicle.

Whatever, doesn't matter now – the wolf loves me, or at least I think he does. I want him to... I love him. He may be the perfect big brother, but if I had a dad Paul's exactly how I'd imagine him to be. Well, besides the whole looking only seventeen and immortal wolf part. Either way, he takes real good care of me and it makes me feel special – yeah, fucking special. When I woke up Christmas morning on Paul's couch the wolf came and sat by me in nothing but a black pair of sweats with two mugs of hot coffee in hand and a house key. He explained that he wanted me to live with him – you heard that, _me, _live with him. He said he even wanted me to quit work and go back to school, you know, to make something of myself.

On the inside I was screaming to accept the offer, but on the outside... I slapped his shoulder and grinned. "Thanks, but no thanks, man. Besides I love my job." That was a lie and half, but it wasn't like he knew that.

Paul quirked a brow. "What do you take me for? You fucking hate your job." Okay, so perhaps he did know. "Jamie, you've got two options here. You can either move in, quit your job and never look back, and finish school while in the meantime figure out the college you want to go to along with the courses you want to take, or I can just as easily make you do all that myself."

I gave him sideways glance while my fingers anxiously pulled at a loose string along the hem of my shirt. "Why?" I muttered in question.

The wolf shrugged. "Besides the pack you're the closest thing to family I've got. If I'm going to think of myself as your older..." He gave me a cheeky smile. "More handsome brother I ought to start acting like one. What's mine is yours, James. You were a big part of the reason I got my life back – I just want to make sure that I do everything possible to make sure yours is everything it can be as well." I didn't say anything back I don't think I needed to. He knew I wouldn't say yes, though I was happy he didn't give me the option to say no. That stupid wolf could never possibly know just how thankful I was in that moment... how thankful I am still, and will always be. I was also thankful for the fact that he got up and got the hell out of the room to prevent any awkwardness, plus he didn't try to hug me – what was he, perfect or something?

I slowly sipped on my coffee that had no cream or sugar, which was just the way I liked it, and once finished I wandered into the kitchen to put the mug in the dishwasher, yet found Paul sitting at the table with some book in hand while he munched on a cold and leftover piece of pizza. "You know there's going to be a huge breakfast at the palace, right?" I queried.

"Mm, yeah." He hummed as he nodded and folded back the corner of a page to his book. "I know the second I see his grace I'm going to lose my appetite. It freaks me the fuck out that he can get into my head. Being around him is like trying to hold in the worst goddamn case of diarrhoea I've ever had... eventually shits gonna spill, and once it does it's going to be one crappy mess. The last thing I want to do is think the wrong thing about Ryan in front of him."

With a smirk I pulled out a chair and sat across from the canine. "By any chance are you worried that you'll think about whatever you did with that lube you left in the living room last night?"

Paul's eyes widened as the pizza fell from his hand to the glass table. "Fuck me..." He breathed. "I don't know how that slipped my mind."

I shrugged and smiled. "Whatever, dude, I put it under the sink in the bathroom. Were you flying solo or did a certain pretty prince pay you a visit last night?" I asked.

"God..." The wolf sighed. "Ryan is all kinds of gorgeous... pretty just doesn't fucking cut it."

I chuckled and leaned across the table to grab the pizza he dropped and took a bite of it. "I'll take that as a yes." I said with mouthful of meaty and doughy goodness.

Paul nodded with quirky little smile. "It's a yes."

I nodded along with him. "I know you guys didn't fuck. So, what did you two do? Did he blow you?" God knows it wasn't any my business, but what can I say, I'm nosey prick.

The wolf furrowed his two dark eyebrows. "James, _christ_, no. Did Charlie blow _you_?" I think he was asking me that question to try and prove a point, like it'd make me feel uncomfortable or something. What a dumb dog.

I grinned at the mongrel. "As a matter of fact he did, and on your driveway in his mother's sedan when he dropped me off."

For a few seconds Paul sat motionless and expressionless. Breaking the silence he cleared his throat. "So, did he, uhh, swallow?" I couldn't help but grin at the wolf, there's a dirty, _dirty_ dog inside him just waiting to be set free.

"Hell yeah he did!" I said with a smug nod.

"Did you return the favour?"

I shook my head no. "Nah, he's not that into it actually. He likes another part of him played with." I informed the wolf and he gazed at me looking absolutely clueless. "His ass, Paul."

The wolf crinkled his nose. "And do you like playing with it?" He uncomfortably questioned.

I sighed and leaned back in the chair. "Honestly, Paul, hell yes. There is just nothing like having your face between two cheeks and your tongue fucking a tight little pink hole. When my boy moans it goes straight to my dick, but when he squirms in pleasure while pushing himself against me to get more tongue... Christ almighty, there is nothing hotter... fucking nothing."

I watched the bob of Paul's Adam's apple while his bare foot tapped against the floor under the table. "Does it make him, you know, come?" I had to strain my ears to hear his question, though shook my head in reply.

"Close, but no. Fingering gets him off in no time, and it's sexy as fuck too. His dick doesn't need any sort of stimulation, massage his prostate just right and there he blows."

The wolf rose his brows in shock. "Maybe we shouldn't be talking about this. I doubt Charlie would want me hearing this."

I waved him off as I took another bite of pizza. "No, no, it's fine." I insisted, albeit a little bit muffled from my full mouth. Once I finished chewing I continued on. "I have special permission from my vampire to talk to you, and only you, about whatever so long as he never hears wind of it – might just kill him with embarrassment if he did."

The wolf remained silent as I finished off the slice of pizza, afterwards I smiled at him. "You never told me what you and Ryan got up to." I reminded him.

He gave me a small smirk. "Do you remember the first time we spoke after I returned?" He asked me.

I nodded. "Sure do."

"Yeah, let's just say you were right about something."

"Oh?" I said with a grin. "And what was that?"

"That my imprint is beautiful when he orgasms." Even though Paul's words were optimistic and I was damn proud of him for allowing himself these sorts of experiences, the sting of jealousy was still there... it wasn't like it was a little pin prick of sting either, it was like a whole nest of angry wasps attacked me. Some things don't change, and one of those things just _had_ to be my feelings for the prince.

I held tight to my grin even though it was a big fake one now. "Wow!" I exclaimed. "About time! And, look, the world kept on turning... who'd of thunk it?"

"Yeah, yeah." He chortled with a smile. "Anyway, you and Charlie seem to be _quite_ close – you must really love him."

I felt my guts freeze with his statement and it took all my effort to keep my grin from faltering. "Of course, he's, you know, like my first real love." God, I was so full of such shit, but what was I supposed to say? 'Sorry, dude, half the time my boyfriend sucks my cock I imagine it to be your boyfriend instead.' yeah, no thanks. I wanted to love Charlie, I've been trying to love Charlie... it just hasn't happened yet.

The wolf stared at me incredulously. "What about Ryan? I know you had feelings for him. Even Jasper said you loved him."

I shook my head with lighthearted laugh. "Nah, man, I just had one hell of an infatuation for the boy." I continued to lie.

"Oh..." The wolf said, his voice trailing off toward the end. "I don't think Jasper can be wrong about that sort of thing."

I met his brown eyed gaze and gave him a friendly smile. "Paul, you know I'd never lie to you." I don't know what's worse, lying in general or lying about never lying.

Those brown eyes brightened. "You're right, I know you wouldn't." With groan the wolf stood from his seat. "Well, we better get going here pretty soon – wouldn't want to keep the royal family waiting. Oh, and Eric called, he's not feeling so hot and asked if we could pick him up from the flat along the way. So, shower quickly." He told me as he walked past and out the french doors.

With a frustrated sigh I put my elbows on the table and my face in my hands. "Fuck my life..." I grumbled to myself.

"Oh, James!" Paul called from down that hall and immediately I sat up straight while dropping my hands to my lap as I turned in the chair to look at the doorway behind me. The wolf came into view while he tugged on a casual button up shirt. I wanted to frown, I knew for a fact Ryan would find him smoking hot wearing that, but I smiled instead. "Charlie says he loves you too, right?" He queried.

I felt my heart drop. I don't think I've even heard the word love pass through the vampire's wintry lips. I made my smile turn into a big shit eating grin. "All the time."

Paul grinned right back. "Good, I'm happy for you. Really happy." I felt the heat of tears starting to form at the back of my eyes and I forced myself to think of better things. Eric back in my life, a house to live in, the opportunity to finish school, Paul, friends, Ryan... Jesus Christ, fuck, _not_ Ryan. Charlie, I should think of Charlie and all the ways that vampire makes me feel wanted. "Feels amazing doesn't it?"

"What does?"

Paul rolled his eyes. "Love, you idiot."

"Oh, yeah, it sure fucking does." I chuckled with a soft feigned smile. "You have no idea..."

Anyway, I guess I shouldn't be surprised that bad luck when it comes to love runs in the Yorkie family because it just so happens that Lauren had to go and end up dead that same day. Merry Christmas, Eric, you're imprint's dead, oh, and here's a toddler – that's basically how it went. Though, Paul was quite adamant about caring for Katie while the alpha wolf righted himself. His grace went on some long spiel about Paul not being ready for such a responsibility... I don't know, I don't think any of us really listened to him. I mean, even his majesty told him to shut it and that it was up to Eric and their alpha whether the wolf was fit enough to care for the child.

Long story short Paul quit work the same day I did. I told the mongrel I wanted to take online classes and could easily watch Katie during the day so he could continue to work. He would have none of it and insisted that the girl needed someone's constant attention after losing both her parents. So, the wolf quickly went from construction worker to uncle Paulie. It was almost pathetic how much he spoiled that little girl. He even had the spare bedroom beside the one I'd be given completely done up for her – pink walls and all. I thought this was fine and dandy, but how was the wolf going to feel when my brother eventually stepped up to the plate and took her?

Speaking of Eric, whatever he's going through I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, which is kind of ironic because Paul basically went through just that. Of course the wolf isn't my enemy now, but he sure felt like one at first. Drifting off topic... My brother is not well, though Ryan had taken it upon himself to care for the wolf round the clock. That both annoyed and relieved me. Part of me felt like I should be the one helping Eric get better, then the other part of me thinks I'd do a terrible job, plus I wouldn't even know what the fuck to do.

Eric has been staying at the palace, and in the prince's room to be more specific. God, even my asshole big brother is closer to the boy I love than I'll ever be. It really is just my luck for Ryan to stake his claim on everybody but me. I mean, he's got Emily, Paul, and now my own fucking brother. Why the hell did he need my brother? He doesn't even like my brother! First I had to listen to the prince talk about how much he _loves_ Paul, now I have sit there and watch him rub my brother's shoulders, wash his skin, run his fingers through his hair and even feed the damn mutt while cooing to him about how much he _loves _his alpha wolf. Fuck the bloody lot of them! I don't need any of them anyhow... besides Paul, I'd like to keep Paul. He's the only one with a decent head on his shoulders, and that's saying something since he's crazy as fuck.

"Earth to James... Earth to James..." I blinked a few times to notice Ryan waving a hand in front of my face with a big beautiful grin on his face – not that he was really capable of anything but beautiful. "Where did you go?" He asked, his grin fading into a pretty smile. "What were you thinking about?" I looked away from him and gazed around the sitting room in the palace. In the middle of it was a pillow fort that had been built by Paul and Riley with the help of one little girl. My brother was curled up in it fast asleep with said little girl tucked into his one and half arms. Yet, in her small arms she held a fluffy white cat that purred away and who belonged to the prince.

On one side of the large sectional was Riley who loved to annoyingly poke and prod at Paul which would always end up in little bouts of wrestling. Currently he kept trying to put the wolf's hair 'properly' in place while the wolf continued to hit his hands away – Emily sat close by watching and laughing. On the other side were the kings all huddled up as if they'd been super glued together, yet leaning against them was a pretty little woman the prince called mom with an equally pretty princess napping in her arms.

Me on the other had was stuck on the loveseat with a gorgeous boy that couldn't keep his hands to himself. "Fine, don't answer me then." He pouted, though my lack of attention deterred him none from wrapping his arms around my waist and pressing his cheek to my chest. "I think the sound of your heart is my favourite. Wolves beat so strong, but yours is so calming. I love it." Do you, Ryan? You love it? Really? Because most of the time it feels like I just felt you rip it right from my chest and squeeze it so tight that the mush of it oozed right between your tan fingers.

I felt my cheeks flush when I caught his grace staring at me, undoubtedly catching all my thoughts. "Where's Charlie? I thought you said he was coming today." Ryan added.

I shook my head. "His work called this morning and asked if he could cover a shift."

"Oh," He said with a frown. "He should have told them no. I was looking forward to seeing him."

I rolled my eyes. "This might surprise you, Ryan, but some people aren't born spoiled rotten princes and actually have to work for what they have." I loudly snapped. The room fell awkwardly silent besides the rustle of Ryan's clothes as he pulled himself from me and the sound of his majesty's copper hand slapping over his grace's mouth.

"I'm not stupid..." He mumbled while he moved to his own cushion and leaned his back against the arm rest on the opposite side of the loveseat from me.

My eyes flicked to Paul's to see if it looked like my murder was on the horizon. I found him looking just as content as earlier and he even gave me a reassuring smile. I guess even he understood that from time to time his imprint could be a little difficult. The wolf cleared his throat and turned his gaze to his grace. "So, Ed, Riley and I were talking earlier about how I'm taking Katie to the aquarium tomorrow."

"Shut up!" Riley hissed as he whacked the wolf in the arm. "I told you not to mention anything. It's stupid and pointless. _You're _being stupid. You'll just start a fight. We're always fighting him and me. Just keep your big mouth shut."

Paul quirked a brow and turned his attention to the royal leech. "Me, have a big mouth? Have you ever heard yourself speak?"

"Whatever." The vampire huffed. "Just drop it, alright?"

"Um," The wolf looked off to the right as he thought about it. "No. I could use an extra pair of hands. You saw how she is when excited, a fucking hellion. Plus, I don't even know how a human with such short little legs can run so fast either." He flicked his eyes back to his grace's. "I was hoping Riley could come with us."

His grace peeled his majesty's hand away from his mouth and Riley's angry face faltered and turned into a pleading one. "Please, Edward, please. I've never even been there before. I swear to god I'll be good. I'll bring all the guards in the palace to keep me safe if that's what you want. I'll do anything. _Anything_. Please, Ed. I'll be fine with Paul."

In a serious display of submission his grace turned his face from the vampire and looked to his husband for guidance. His majesty nodded to his imprint. "Tell him he can go so long as he takes Felix and Alec. They're good guards, they'll take care of him." Honestly, I about shit my pants. King Edward Anthony Black having someone tell him what to do? Unheard of.

His grace's jaw clenched as he turned to look at his brother. "No, you're place is here." He firmly stated.

"Edward." His majesty growled.

The king let out a huff of breath. "I'll drop you off and pick up, along with the guards. Two hours. You've got two hours."

Paul furrowed his brows. "What is he, twelve?" He queried.

Riley shoved his pale hands in the wolf's face to keep him quiet. "That's perfect! Thank you, thank you!" The prince darted his eyes back to Paul's and huge grin spread across his pale face. "Oh, we're gonna have so much fun! Katie will have a blast!" I never felt sorrier for the leech in my life and I believe I saw the same look on the wolf's face. He thinks the aquarium built for kids will be fun, and for him it probably will be since he's done jack shit for a whole year.

"Jamie," Ryan spoke up with a cute and sheepish little smile while he poked my leg with a socked toe. "You should come over tomorrow and keep me and your brother company. Around eleven would be good, he gets a lot of his tears out by then and I'll have been able to get breakfast into him along with all his meds and supplements – whether he keeps the stuff down..."

I shook my head. "Yeah, sorry, I'm getting up early to try and make at least a dent in all the schoolwork I have, then in the afternoon Charlie and I are getting together."

"That's fine." Ryan said with a smile. "The evening works fine. You can come for dinner, both you and Charlie. Eric will like that."

Again I shook my head. "We kind of want to be together just the two of us... if you get my drift." Be jealous, be _very_ jealous... I know he wouldn't be, but one could hope.

His cheeks flared a pretty pink. "Say no more." He chuckled and turned his eyes to Emily. "Want to come over tomorrow?"

"Yes, but I can't. It's my dad's day off work, he'll want me home right after school."

Ryan shrugged. "No biggy." He then flicked his eyes to his mother and smiled at her. "I know you'll visit won't you? If Eric naps in the afternoon I'll bake you a cake Paul taught me how to make. I know you'll love it."

Natalie gave her son an apologetic frown. "Sorry, hun, I've got plans with this one tomorrow." She told him as she pointed down at Rachel.

"Oh..." Ryan hummed, his smile leaving his face.

As a last resort he gazed at his parents. "Don't look at us, puppy. Your dad and I are actually having a date night for once, but Quil wanted me to ask you if you'd be willing to watch Liam for the night. My wolves are spending the night in the mountains hunting with Emmett and Jasper. Rose and Claire are hoping to get away and do whatever women do when they get together as well. Talk about us, I'm sure."

Natalie laughed lightly. "You boy's aren't nearly as interesting as you'd like to think."

"Sure we are." His majesty chuckled. "So that would also mean making E.J. dinner and getting him to bed at a decent hour."

A guilty expression came over Paul's face. "Angel, I really hate to ask you this since your hands seem really full, but while I'm at my appointment tomorrow I have no one to watch Katie. I mean, I can cancel, it's just one time."

"No," Ryan sighed. "When my dad picks up Riley from the aquarium I'm sure he can grab Katie from you." The wolf looked over to his dad who nodded in confirmation. He flicked his eyes back to Paul. "Yeah, pack an overnight bag for her. She may as well stay since you'll be over the next morning, plus you could use a night off anyway."

Paul gave his imprint a grateful smile. "You know you're the best, right?"

Ryan nodded. "Something like that..." He mumbled unhappily under his breath.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter Thirty-six**

_Point of View: Ryan  
_

Oh, fuck my life... I was about a whole two seconds away from pissing myself from fear alone. I was seriously in a place a prince like myself did not belong. I thought being treated like an underpaid and overworked nanny was bad, yet the looks I was getting here were far worse. I'd take Eric crying, Liam's dirty diapers, and putting on a tiara to play princesses with Katie over this any day. I could have picked anything. _Anything_. So, why the hell did I pick a shop class to partake in? Oh, that's right, I felt like I had something to prove. Stupid, _stupid_ me!

I'd been caring for Eric for nearly two months now and not once until now had I left the palace, or even his side for that matter. I honestly didn't mind, not really at least. I think I've officially become immune to vomit. He could probably puke in my face and I'd hardly even flinch; although, I didn't particularly want to test that theory. Anyway, that is beside the point, Eric is ill, really ill, but at least he was stable. He wasn't getting better and he wasn't getting worse. As of right now I was comfortable with that. Of course I'd prefer the former, but I felt that would take a lot more time – thank goodness I had an unlimited amount of just that.

On top of caring for Eric I had Katie over for the night each Friday so Paul could go to therapy and do his thing with those losers at the bar. As for his Monday and Wednesday appointments, James watched her. Quil, upon seeing me dealing somewhat well with juggling both Eric and Katie decided that one extra wouldn't hurt me any and asked if I'd be willing to watch Liam each Friday so he and Claire could get out just the two of them. My brain told me to say hell no, but my heart said otherwise and in the end I obviously agreed.

I thank god I'm not suicidal because on Friday nights I'd undoubtedly kill myself if I was. However, nothing compared to the night I had to watch E.J. along with the other three. That pup gave me nothing but a hard time and I realized that night that I should never have puppies and there ought to be a law stating that Ryan Jasper Black is not to raise his own spawn. I had no clue where Liam's high chair was and Katie wouldn't sit still at the table, so in the end I had them eating their dinner from their respective dishes on the kitchen floor like they were pets while E.J. did nothing but complain as I tried to listen to Eric hurling his guts out in the bathroom to make sure he wasn't choking and/or dying.

"Your cooking is shit." E.J. whined from his stool at the island. I'd have been surprised by his language if Emmett wasn't his dad and my father wasn't his uncle.

I rolled my eyes as I gave Liam another spoonful of his mushy supper. "Eat it or starve." I grumbled at E.J., though my eyes widened and I dropped the spoon to the floor as I scrambled to Katie. "No, don't do that!" I gasped while I yanked her hand away from her face, but it was much too late and the little green pea was lost up her right nostril.

My reaction must have startled her, or maybe I grabbed her too hard because immediately the blonde haired, blue eyed little girl broke out into tears and cried. "No, no, fuck, Katie it's fine." I said in a horrible effort to soothe her. "You're not in trouble."

"Don't swear at her, she's three!" E.J. exclaimed.

With a huff of breath I glared over at my cousin. "I didn't swear _at_ her." I snapped.

He shoved his full plate of food away from him with a look of disgust on his smug ten-year-old face. "May as well have." He retorted. I shook my head, ignoring the twerp and went back to trying to calm Katie. Eventually she quieted, though small shiny tears still leaked from her pretty eyes.

I held my hand under her nose and closed her left nostril with my thumb, telling her to blow. Had I been a smart mutt I'd have gotten a tissue, but it's no secret that I'm not and when the pea flew from her nose a whole lot of slimy snot went right into my palm with. I just about gagged at the sight – at least it gave her a giggle.

With a sigh I stood and went to the sink to scrub my hands clean. "Being a momma suits you." I whipped my head around to gaze at E.J. in disbelief. "A man won't want this junk though." He said as he pointed to the dinner I made him. "Paul likes your pretty face, but if you want to keep him this crap won't do. You need lessons really badly."

I felt my temper flare as I glared at the puppy. "I'm his imprint E.J., he loves me regardless of my cooking."

"Oh," He deadpanned. "Well, you must have made him sad then. He probably thought he was going to imprint on some nice girl and have lots of puppies, but instead he imprinted on a princess with a penis."

I furrowed my thin brows and tried to stop the words of a puppy from hurting. "You know, that's no way to talk to your future alpha." I told him as turned off tap and moved my body to properly face him.

The pup fervently shook his head. "No way you'll ever be. I want uncle Jake."

I dried off my hands on my flannel pajama pants as I stared at him incredulously. "What are you talking about? Ever since you could speak you always told me how excited you were to one day be my wolf." I reminded him.

Again he shook his head. "Not anymore. All the kids at school make fun of you because you look so stupid for a boy. I don't want to get picked on because you're lame." He explained and I felt my heart throb with sadness as a frown formed on my face.

I swallowed back the lump in my throat. "You should ignore those people, it'll make you tough." I told him.

E.J. laughed, and I got the awful feeling it was at me. "Everybody says mean things about you and you're not tough!"

"What?" I breathed in question while I shook my head in disagreement. "That's not true, not everybody. Tons of people like me."

The puppy grinned like he knew something I didn't. "No, you're wrong. I heard Quil telling Brady that he felt bad for Paul. He said your wolf told him that you two aren't mates and he couldn't help himself because you're beautiful. Quil even went on to say that he thinks you might be taking advantage of Paul and that you'll just get bored of him like you did with your friend James."

Again I shook my head, though this time angrily. "Quil would _never_ say that about me!" I yelled at him.

E.J. put his hands up in mock surrender. "Don't shoot the messenger. I'm just telling you what I heard. One time my dad even said that he hoped for your own good that you'd grow out of your girly face, but since you didn't it must have been a blow on uncle Jake's ego to make a son like you."

My jaw dropped and in a fury I grabbed his full plate of food and tossed it out, plate and all, into the trash under the sink. "Go to your room and go to bed, E.J." I heatedly instructed as I turned back to him.

"But it's only six!" He whined.

"Go to bed!" I hollered at him.

He pursed his lips and crossed his bare russet arms over his grey t-shirt. "You can't tell me what to do!" He hollered right back. "Plus, you didn't give me dessert!"

Wanting the puppy just to shut up and go away I went to the cupboard and pulled out a bag of chocolate chip cookies as threw them at him. "There's you're dessert, now go away!"

For a second time E.J. laughed at me. "You throw like a girl!" He guffawed.

My eyes widened and my hands clenched at my sides. "I may throw like a girl, but if you don't get out of the damn kitchen in the next two seconds I swear to god I'll make you a girl with my own bare hands." I threatened.

The puppy rolled his eyes at me as he hopped down from his stool with the bag of cookies in hand. "You need to loosen up those jeans and relax a little, bro." He chuckled, and with his words I looked down at my fitted black jeans with my sky blue shirt hanging over the waist of it. "I'd be grumpy too if my balls were squeezed into those." I was about to make some snide remark about his balls not even having dropped yet, but considering he was ten with the top of his head already up to my eyebrows and the kid looking bulkier than me I kept my mouth shut. He was going to be a huge wolf, and, yes, I was completely jealous. I know they aren't blood, but Emmett must be so proud of E.J. since he looks so strong and tough... it definitely made me worry about what the alpha of all alphas thought of his ugly runt of a puppy.

Taking his time while opening the package of cookies E.J. shuffled his way across the kitchen to the exit. On his way out he looked over his shoulder at me and grinned. "Maybe I was wrong about the whole momma thing." He laughed as he took a bite of a cookie and went on his merry way.

I furrowed my brows in regards to his comment and peeked around the island only to be horrified by what I saw. "Liam!" I shouted while I ran over to him. "No!" I pulled his plate away from him before he could grab another handful of food and get it everywhere but his mouth. He was practically covered head to toe in his dinner. "Why, Liam, why?..." I quietly whined to myself.

The small puppy smiled at me and leaving a trail behind him on the floor he crawled into my lap and pressed his dirty clothes to my clean ones while clinging his disgusting hands to my perfectly groomed hair. I don't know what happened but the flood gates opened and just like a baby I burst into tears. Whether it was all the things E.J. said that got to me or the fact that I really would make a terrible parent I wasn't sure – in fact I think it was a bit of both.

God... If Paul only knew how useless I really was. He could do anything he set his mind to – fix a house, cook any meal you can think of with any dessert your heart desired, and he was even the perfect uncle Paulie who went to play tea parties wearing a monocle and sporting a pompous British accent. Imagine me trying to fix a house... hell, I wouldn't even be able to pick out a wrench from a tool box. Truthfully, I don't even know what a wrench does. As for meals, I can't even make something a puppy likes. How is that even possible?!

Liam put his gross little hands to my cheeks as I cried and he stared at me with the most adorable look of concern on his food covered baby face. "Don't cry." Katie said in her sweet voice as she stood from the floor and made her way towards me. When near she stuck her two hands in my hair trying to get the gunk out. "Still a pretty princess." She told me. I knew she was just trying to help, but being called a pretty princess only made me cry harder.

"Okay, prince Riley Biers to the rescue!" I heard my uncle cheerfully announce as he entered the kitchen with a handful of guards tagging along behind him from my dad's orders 'to keep him under control and inside the palace'. Grins spread on the kids' faces and Riley came over to happily lift the messy puppy from my lap and into his arms. "I'll take them for the rest of the night." He softly informed and he turned his eyes Katie as he held out a pale hand for her to grab. "Off we go, Katie. Ryan needs some alone time." The little girl nodded and held his hand, though not before she gave me a wet kiss on the temple and once again called me a pretty princess to try and cheer me up.

When they were gone I turned in my spot and moved rearwards until my back rested against the wall. I sobbed into my hands feeling like garbage, though more so a let down to just about everybody. I was an embarrassment as a son, an imprint any man would regret, and an alpha wolves should be ashamed of. It felt so bad, but it was all so true. I'd never be the son my father would be proud to show off, I'd never be able to properly raise all the puppies I knew Paul dreamt about having, and I certainly would never be an alpha wolves would go bragging about. It sucked... It really, really sucked because all I wanted to do was make people happy.

Beside me the bathroom door clicked open and Eric emerged looking his same ill self. His face was pasty with dark circles under his eyes from lack of sleep, yet the most noticeable thing about him was the way his clothes hung off him – they were clearly a few sizes too big. He looked like a lanky teen boy. He still appeared handsome despite the pasty skin and weight loss, yet I felt the perpetual urge to feed him fatty foods.

I gazed up at the wolf from between my fingers to find him looking down at me with teary eyes of his own. "I can now add 'can simultaneously text and vomit' to my resume." He told me.

I dropped my hands to my lap. "Huh?"

The wolf sighed. "I texted Riley. It sounded like you could use a break." I nodded, my tears still falling. "Did you even make yourself dinner?" I shook my head no... I'd completely forgotten about myself. "Thought as much." He mumbled as he wiped his eyes with the back of his hands.

Eric hobbled off towards the cupboards, walking as if each bend of his joints killed him with pain – I didn't doubt for a second that they did. He pulled out a bowl, followed by a spoon, Cheerios, then milk from the fridge, and mixed them all together.

He came back over to me and slid down the wall to sit beside me. "Sorry, it's all I could muster the energy to make." He apologized as he handed the bowl over.

I shook my head and smiled through my tears at my alpha wolf. "No, no, it's perfect." And, it was since it was the thought that counted, and the thought meant the world to me.

I took a bite of the cereal and Eric rested his head on my shoulder, his eyes fluttering closed. "E.J. is just an idiot puppy, don't listen to him. Submitting to you was the single best thing I've done. It took me years, but I finally made a decision I can be proud of and even through all the agony of losing my imprint it still feels so good to have you close to me." The wolf tilted his head and his watery brown eyes opened so they could meet mine. "I love and adore my alpha."

Anyway, I guess that's the long way of saying I felt like I had something to prove, mainly to myself. Of course Eric made me feel special with words like that, but I didn't want to be just a 'pretty princess' or a terrible babysitter. Plus, the wolf kept encouraging me to get out of the palace and do something beyond seeing Paul, Emily, James or Charlie. I had to admit the idea sounded exciting, but like I said earlier I'm stupid. I got myself all pumped up and decided to do something that was way out of my comfort zone. I picked a shop class... I'm a boy after all, I _should_ know about tools and stuff. Plus, James new all about this junk and then some, so how hard could it really be?

However, there were two itty-bitty problems I forgot to account for: All the other people that would be taking the class, plus the instructor. I also had to lie, lie, lie to get here. Mainly because I felt way too embarrassed to admit to my parents or anybody for that matter that I wanted to learn about this stuff. I could picture all their laughing faces now... I've never once lied to Paul, or at least not that I can recollect, but I did for the first time today. It was Thursday, mine and Paul's day, yet the class wasn't until early evening. I had set it up so Emily and Riley would be keeping Eric company while I was supposed to be over at Paul's for dinner, whereas I told Paul I wouldn't be over until around seven.

My dad was annoyed that Paul wasn't picking me up, although father told him to suck it up and let it go. I felt like such a horrible person lying to so many people, yet it was kind of thrilling since I also felt like such a bad ass teenager... although I'm certain when normal teens lie to their parents about this kind of stuff it's not because they're sneaking around and going to some class. Whatever, I needed to live a little, then again, here, in this workshop I felt like I was dying a bit second by second.

I had prayed there would be at least one clueless girl in the class that I could relate to, yet I had no such luck. It was full of big dudes that glared at me like I had some contagious and lethal disease. Something told me it might be the gay I radiated. Seriously, even I can look at myself in the mirror and confidently say, 'yup, if gay had a face I'd be it'.

Sadly, I felt bad for the last guy in since not only did he have to sit at the table up at the front, but he was stuck sitting beside me. He happened to be a leech, and an asshole. "Stop staring at me, faggot." He hissed, in what, introduction? That was hardly a hello and I had merely glanced his way like anyone would when someone sits beside them.

I'm sure my cheeks went the brightest shade of pink. "Sorry..." I mumbled in apology. A very minute part of me wanted to tell him off, though I decided I ought not to since I was in a room filled with things that could chop me into small unrecognizable bits.

When the instructor emerged from his closed off office in the corner of the room by the exit I immediately wished he hadn't. His whole demeanour screamed arrogant prick, or maybe it was the neck tattoos which were connected to the sleeves of artwork inked onto his muscular arms. His chest was even covered and the colours brightly stood out against his white 'wife-beater'. Truthfully, his attractive face was eye catching, though it could never compare to that of my Paulie's. His face was round, a little like mine, yet his cheek bones were more prominent and with that he had a sharp jawline. He had a few days worth of scruff that I could only call sexy which framed rosy pink lips that I'm sure a grotesque number of girls have kissed.

I hadn't yet caught sight of his eyes as they were directed downward at the stack of papers he had in his hands, which also happened to have a generous amount of tattoos covering them. His dark brunette eyebrows were thicker, masculine, and had a way of making his creamy face appear angry. His hair had to be about the length of James' and hung at his shoulders, though was far less wavy than my human friend's. His bangs were completely pulled back out of his face which had a strange way of making him look tough, however when I do the same I just look like a little bitch – go figure.

As he approached I could detect his scent and my suspicions were confirmed – he may look like a Caucasian human, but he was indeed a wolf. He appeared to have stopped ageing around the age of twenty. Also, he had an air to him, a certain cocky confidence. He wasn't an alpha, but I felt it safe to assume that his father was, along with an older brother. "Okay!" He said loudly to the class while he slowly lifted his eyes from the paper. When I finally managed to catch a glimpse of his eyes I couldn't help but be in awe of them. The silvery blueness of them put my vivid green ones to shame and they clashed beautifully with his dark hair. "The name's Nahuel, call me that to my face and anything _creative_ you can think of behind my back."

He came up to my table and placed what looked to be a little quiz in front of me and did the same with the leech beside me. "For each image I want you all to label and describe in detail what each thing is used for that you'll see pictured. To some of you this may seem like child's play, to others..." His eyes briefly caught mine and he chuckled. "Well, I just want to see what kind of men I'm working with here."

While Nahuel handed the rest of the quizzes out the real nerves hit me when I flicked through the pages and I didn't recognize a single picture. A warm hand startled me as it grabbed my shoulder and I looked to my right to see said hand with a wolf skull tattooed on it and the letters F, U, C, and K tattooed across his fingers. How classy... "Your highness, would you mind coming with me for a moment?" Nahuel inquired. Was I allowed to say yes? Because, yes, I do indeed mind and I'd like to be on my way now and never come back.

As he let go of my shoulder I shook my head no since I didn't have the guts to say otherwise and while he passed my table he waved for me to follow along. I was well aware of all the eyes on me when I stood up and rounded the table. "Thank god he's throwing the royal queer out." I heard someone whisper.

"I don't even care that he gets banged by dudes, I just don't want to be stuck looking at his freaky face." Another someone whispered back. I glanced over my shoulder to see if I could catch the guys talking, though everyone averted their eyes from me and the silence was deafening.

I trailed along behind Nahuel and into his small and cluttered office. He closed the door behind us, gestured towards a chair while he sat on the edge of his metal desk. He leaned forward and handed me the last copy of the quiz he held. I took it without question and he tapped the first image on the paper. "Tell me what this is." He instructed.

I gazed down at the paper with a frown on my face. I honestly didn't even have the slightest clue what I was looking at. "I know what it is," I lied. "I just can't remember what it's called."

"It's a nail gun." He deadpanned.

I nodded along with his words not daring to look up into his eyes. "Ah, yes, that's right, I remember now."

"Christ..." He breathed. "It's actually a sabre saw, my prince. You don't have a clue what either is do you?"

My cheeks came flaring to life with embarrassment, yet my eyes held steady to the paper I held. "Er, well, I'd say the nail gun shoots nails into stuff and a sabre saw cuts things."

Nahuel sighed. "To dumb it right the fuck down, yeah. But, the names pretty much spell it out for the two of 'em." Again the wolf sighed and finally I gathered just enough courage to look up at him. "Look, this class is not for you. I know it says all skill levels in the brochure, but I've never had someone come in not knowing their right nut from their left. I can't be babysitting you the whole time. You're not just a danger to yourself, but everyone in the room."

Oh god, I was such pussy because all I felt was the stupid urge to cry – I hate the feeling of humiliation. I got up from the chair and handed him back the paper. "It's fine. I get it." I murmured as I turned and reached for the doorknob.

"If you get it then where are you going?"

I dropped my hand before I could open the door and turned to look back at him with furrowed brows. "What?" I queried.

The wolf chuckled. "Dude, that's my jungle out there," He joyfully told me as he pointed out the office window and into the large workshop. "That's my heaven on earth, and if I can show someone like you the wonders of it I'd be a fool not to."

I frowned feeling a little insulted. "Someone like me?"

Nahuel's chuckle turned into a laugh and he pushed himself off the desk. "No offence intended, your highness, but what tool have you ever picked up other than your dick or a fork to feed yourself?" He questioned. "Wait, do you royals even feed yourselves?" Getting too close for comfort he picked up my hand to run his callused fingers along mine. "Yeah, man, my missus has manlier hands than you and she's damn near a goddess."

I ripped my hand away from his. "If you're done making fun of me I'll be on my way." I growled in my defence

"Whoa!" He chortled. "I'm not making fun of you in the slightest. You're so ignorant to my world it's beautiful, gorgeous even. If you're actually serious about this and willing to work hard, I can teach you whatever skills you are looking to gain. Though, like I said this class isn't for you, your highness – you need me one on one."

"Hmm..." I hummed, and slowly curiosity got the better of me. "Do you really think a guy like me can do all the things those guys can do?" I asked him as I nodded out the window.

The wolf quirked a brow. "What those schmucks? At best they'll be mediocre at everything they do." He tapped just below my shoulder close to my chest with the back of his middle and forefinger. "You, you're a prince, you can do and have anything could ever want." I smiled at the wolf even though he was so full of it, but what can I say, it felt good to be talked up. "So, you game?"

I nodded, my face flushing for a third time. "Yes."

"Fuckin' eh, man!" He happily exclaimed and once again took my hand, though this time he gave my hand a shake while squeezing so hard it hurt. "This is gonna be awesome! But, I should go back out there now. Stick around until after class is over and we'll chat." He motioned with his thumb to the computer on his desk. "Go on my computer and look up some basic tools, try and get a feel for it. Don't overwhelm yourself though, it'll seem like a lot at first, but once I'm done with you this stuff will be like second nature – it'll be as easy as shifting."

"Sure, sounds good." I said as I took my hand back. I sat down at his desk chair and wiggled the mouse to get rid of the screen saver. I didn't for a second believe that building stuff would ever be second nature, yet it sure looked like he believed it.

Nahuel pulled the door open and started into the workshop. "Wow..." I heard him whisper to himself. I looked up almost half expecting him to say something rude about me under his breath, yet instead he gazed over his brightly tattooed shoulder and grinned at me. "It's not every day a stray wolf like myself gets to teach an alpha something, let alone a prince..."


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter Thirty-seven**

God, was it so wrong of me to furiously love a horny Paul? Because I did, especially since he's trying to act all coy about it at the dinner table. "It was really nice of James and Charlie to take Katie to that kiddie movie so we could have the house _all_ to ourselves." He not subtly commented.

I nodded as I chewed a bit of my poached salmon with mousseline sauce, which also had cucumbers on the side. It almost made blush knowing that my wolf made such a lovely meal for me. I was half expecting takeout. "I know, but I thought you liked to have Katie asleep by eight at the latest." Okay, so I liked to play aloof to Paul's advances... not that I've ever really gotten the opportunity before, he's never acted like this. Doesn't so much matter because I quickly learnt that I adore teasing my wolf and making him look all frustrated. I knew he wanted me to make the first move like I always do, but tonight it was all up to him – if he wanted me he had to come and get me.

Paul pushed his empty plate away from himself. He had stuffed his face like he was a starved wolf and now his foot anxiously tapped the floor under the table as he gazed at me – his eyes not once, but twice scanning the length of my body. "I do, but she had a long nap this afternoon and it was really good to hear that you were finally coming over. It's been way too long. I had to have the place empty for us, I've been dying to get you alone. We seriously _need_ to talk." He stated, and I found myself nearly choking on my dinner. I guess Paul caught my startled expression because he quickly tried to calm me. "No, no, not about anything bad, sweetie. It's just that ever since Lauren's passing I've been missing you so damn badly. We haven't been close at all, not with Eric always in the room and your dad hovering over us. I was thinking of asking your parents for more time with you. I was hoping that maybe I'd be able to bring lunch over for you and Eric on Monday's. I just wanted to get your thoughts on the idea before your father said yes and your dad threw a hissy fit."

I forced myself to smile. I would love more time with my Paulie, but I had made plans with Nahuel to meet him each Monday and Wednesday at noon at the workshop. I honestly didn't want to give up the opportunity, especially since I had expressed to the wolf that my mate wanted to eventually start a business buying dilapidated houses to fix them up. Those were the skills I wanted to learn, since how awesome would it be if maybe, just maybe, I could work side by side with Paul? It's not that I craved his attention, it's more like, you know, it'd be a _family_ business... not just Paul's business. I've never really, technically, had anything that was really my own. I've never had to work for a thing. The prospect of forgetting all about my parents' money and making something of myself was rather alluring.

My smile slowly faded and with that my wolf gave me a concerned look. "You're not nearly as excited as I thought you'd be." He said with the utter sound of disappointment in his voice.

I fervently shook my head in disagreement "I am! I seriously am, I was just thinking that I'd prefer Sunday that way it wouldn't have to just be lunch. So, if something came up we could see each other later in the day, considering you have one of your appointments on Mondays."

My wolf smiled fondly at me. "Good idea, you're definitely the brains while I'm the brawn." More like he's the brains and the brawn, while I'm just the pretty faced _liar_. I felt beyond guilty not telling him why I truthfully didn't want it to be Monday's, but I also felt he wouldn't take me doing something like that seriously. I almost thought he might think it was funny his imprint was trying to be a handyman.

I pushed my plate beside his and he quirked a brow. "You're not eating anymore?" He queried, and I shook my head no. "But you hardly even ate half of it."

"I know, sorry. It's really good. I ate a bit before I came." Which wasn't a lie. Nahuel insisted I try the cookies his 'missus' made him. They were super good and I went back for seconds, which got him super excited that he got to go home and tell his woman that the prince himself liked her baking. "Want to watch a movie or something?" I asked in an effort to change the subject.

After a good twenty minutes into some movie I'm sure neither of us were paying any attention to, Paul was getting antsy and had sucked down three beers to keep himself busy while he occasionally shifted in his spot to adjust the front of his pants. The only thing I could smell in his entire house was his arousal and if it was beginning to drive me absolutely nuts, I couldn't imagine how he felt.

All I wanted to do was set that dick free and make him come. I had barely been able to kiss him around the palace let alone cop a feel... I was just praying he'd get the nerve to do both of those things before James returned with Katie. However, when a very intense and very heterosexual sex scene came on the television Paul turned his attention to me. "I can't help but think that this scene would be so much hotter if the actress was actually an actor." He informed me.

I smiled as I began to chuckle. "You're so gay, Paulie."

He shook his head with a sigh. "You have no idea..." He mumbled under his breath.

My brows rose as I gazed at my wolf. "What's that supposed to mean?" I questioned.

Paul's eyes caught mine. "It means I'm fucking gay. I once thought my sexuality was null, but no, with getting better I've been able to realize I'm really gay, like, really, really gay. Even super gay. Hell, maybe I'm even the gayest wolf out there – I haven't stopped yearning for more of what we did on Christmas Eve. Maybe it's pathetic, but I've lost count how many times I've gotten myself off thinking about that and what else we could do together." Oh. My. GOD! If I completely lacked any sort of self-control I'd be squealing like a girl. Paul, my Paul, my hot and sexy wolf man Paul was touching himself in private and thinking about me. _Me_! He was getting off on thoughts of _me_! Oh, damn, that's so hot!

It was my turn to adjust my jeans, which caused my wolf to smirk at me. "Hey, Ryan, I was hoping I could show you something."

I smiled. "Show me what?" I asked.

"How comfortable my bed is." With a groan I threw my leg over his lap to straddle him and pressed my lips to his – to hell with first moves! His copper hands were eager to touch and slid down my back to tightly grab hold of my ass while his hips immediately and shamelessly worked against me in the search for friction.

My hands gripped Paul's cropped to hair to keep him close. I had no intention of letting him break this kiss – his lips were just too soft, just too smooth, too warm, and his sweet tongue way too inviting. Yet, all good things _must_ come to an end, even this hiss because I heard the front door open and two pairs of feet walk through it. My wolf broke away from me and gently pushed me off of him so he could stand while sticking his hands in his pockets to hide his obvious bulge.

Paul sighed as he took in the sight of a passed out little girl in James' arms and Charlie tagging along behind. "Sorry," James apologized. "She didn't even make it halfway through the film before she started getting fussy and wanted to leave."

The wolf shrugged as he gave Charlie a friendly smile hello. "It's okay, I worried that would happen." He started toward the hallway and motioned with his head for James to follow. "Let's get her settled then."

James looked over his shoulder at his vampire. "I'll just be a minute." Charlie nodded with a ghost of a smile upturning his pale-pink lips in reply and when the boy's had disappeared down the hallway I hurried to the vampire with a grin on my face and gave him a big hug.

"It's good to see you!" I joyfully told him. "I keep telling Jamie to get your butt over to the palace, though you're always so busy working."

As I pulled away from Charlie he furrowed his brows in confusion, causing a little crease to form between the two of them. "My shifts were cut back just before Christmas, I'm hardly even working part time. Jay said you didn't want me over since Eric is rather exhausting." Hear that? 'Jay', he even has a nickname for my best friend. Adorable!

I shook my head with a chuckle. "He can be, but it sounds like a certain someone is trying to keep you all to himself. If you ever feel like helping a prince out, any Friday evening is a perfect time to stop by for a visit." I can dream right? "The human treats you good, right?"

The vampire nodded. "Amazing, like a queen." His milky cheeks paled with his words and he rolled his amber eyes. "Like a king."

"And how are you treating him? Say anything less than wonderful and I'll have to send you straight to purgatory."

Charlie ducked his head in embarrassment, letting his bangs hide his eyes – something I've long since learnt he does for comfort in situations he deems awkward. "I do my best." He breathed.

I smiled happily at him. "I know you do. You two are in love after all."

"What?" He deadpanned.

"Paul spilled the beans to me a few weeks ago. James told him all about how he's in love with you."

Charlie lifted his head with such a beautiful smile forming on his lips. "Seriously?" I nodded yes while I brought up a hand to brush his bangs out of his eyes, something I'd bet James couldn't get enough of doing.

"Hey!" James exclaimed... speaking of the devil. The human came up behind me and being way more rough than necessary, he shoved me away from his vampire and quickly pulled the boy into his arms. "You might be used to getting everything you damn well please, but you can't have him." With surprised eyes I stared at my friend – I had absolutely no idea what he meant by that.

Charlie looked completely unaffected, actually I doubted he even heard James' words, he was too busy with his head turned to his right and tilted upwards to gaze at his human. Judging by the way the vampire was looking at his boyfriend I swear his pupils nearly molded into hearts. "You love me, Jay?" He whispered in question. I don't know why Charlie seemed so shocked by this, maybe it just felt more real to him now that others knew as well.

James' blue eyes widened and I'm certain I heard his heart skip a beat or two. "Sorry, what?" He queried as Paul entered the room and slung an arm around my shoulders along with tucking a kiss into my hair.

"You don't have to act oblivious or be embarrassed, Jamie." I said in an effort to calm him. "I know you love him, Paul told me. I also know how you are with personal feelings, yet you should know you can talk to me about these things." I gave the human a grin. "You have no idea how pleased I am to hear that you are so happy." I thought my words would make James feel better, yet by the way he was looking at me I got the distinct feeling they did the exact opposite.

James tore his eyes off of me and dropped his arm from around Charlie. "You should probably get going." He told his vampire, and I felt my own heart turn sour just by the look of pure disappointment on Charlie's face. If I wasn't sure before, I am now – that vampire loved his human, and something had me thinking that James wasn't so honest with Paul when he said they told each that they loved one another often. I seriously felt James never once uttered those words and all the while Charlie has been dying to hear them so he could say them back.

The vampire took his hand that clung to the back of James' shirt and put it into his nice black woollen jacket's pocket to pull out his car keys. "Um, yeah," He murmured with a nod of his head. "I probably should." James took a couple steps back and turning his body he opened the front door for him.

Charlie looked to Paul. "See you later." The wolf gave him an apologetic little frown and said his goodbye; following that the vampire flicked his eyes to mine and I knew, I just knew, the poor guy was crying on the inside.

Not at all being able to help myself I lifted Paul's arm off of me and strode over to Charlie to hug him once again. Gradually the vampire's arms made their way around me and he let out a sigh of cool breath. "He loves you." I whispered beside his pale ear knowing the human wouldn't be able to pick up my voice. "He's just being a grump, give him some time." Charlie nodded as he broke free from me and headed toward the door.

He stopped by James clearly expecting a hug and a kiss, yet he received neither. "I'll call you soon, alright?" The vampire didn't even bother to respond and left without another word spoken.

James slammed the door shut behind him and turned his attention to Paul. "Why'd you go and tell Ryan I love Charlie, huh?" He growled in question, his face turning visibly angry.

Paul's eyes widened with shock from the human's little outburst. "Sorry, I didn't know that was something that was supposed to be kept between us. You seemed so happy about it I didn't even think you'd care."

"Are you blind?!" James cried in question. "Are you both fucking blind?!" He paused and I assumed he was expecting one of us to say something in reply, but I was certain both Paul and I were stunned silent. "I lied. I was jealous of you, Paul, and I didn't want to feel left out or pitied, so I lied. I don't love Charlie." Oh, christ, I have such a big mouth! I not only made Charlie's heart soar, but I also broke the damn thing in one fell swoop.

My best friend's sorrowful eyes met mine. "It's you I love and it's you who I want... _need_, I swear to god I need you, Ryan." He confessed.

I looked over at Paul who stood with his jaw clenched. I wasn't sure if he was trying to keep it from dropping or from saying something he might regret. "Jamie..." I breathed as I turned my attention back him. "I really don't know what to say."

He came forward and took one of my hands from my side and held it in his two. "Please give me a chance, just once chance and I'll prove to you just how right for you I am. I don't have a single penny to my name and I'll never be as good looking as Paul, but I promise you I love you more than he ever could – imprint be damned, I love you more than a thousand of those." He spoke with desperation and as he did a tear or two escaped him which he quickly brushed away.

The human paid no mind to the wolf that stood to my left and barely a foot behind me and instead squeezed my hand tighter. "_Please_... please, please, please, Ryan. I was stupid not to fight for you. I was stupid to be so scared of intimacy with you just because you're a guy, but I'm not anymore – I could love you in all the ways you want. I'd give every bit of me to you, and you know Paul can't do that. I'd be yours, mind, body, and soul." He pleaded.

Biting my bottom lip, I shook my head with an aching chest. "I'm so sorry, Jamie." I whimpered as I tried not to cry for my friend's breaking heart. I never had any inclination he felt this way about me. I know he used to say he loved me months before Charlie came around, but I never really believed him. I thought it was puppy love, just a strong crush even. Had I truly known... had I actually understood I would have never for a second treated him like I have been – when I thought I was being nice and snugly I was probably just torturing him. "I wish there was some way I could give you what you want, but there just isn't. You know I love Paul."

James shook his head. "Just give me a chance." He begged in a whisper.

"I'm meant to be with Paul." I whispered back with my emotions finally getting the better of me, making tears fall.

Again he shook his head. "I can't believe that, I won't believe that. I've loved you since we were just little boys – you were everything to me then and you mean more to me now. If anything Paul's imprint was just so he'd have all of us to help him get better, not so he'd get you." He explained with quavering voice and once again swiped away a tear while I freely let mine fall. "You're supposed to love me, not him. You're supposed to dream of our life together. You're supposed to want to marry me, have a family with me... want me."

I yanked my hand from his two. "But I don't!" I sobbed. I brought up my hands to my cover my reddening face and turned a cold shoulder to the human.

"One chance." He repeated for what felt like the billionth time.

I shook my head. "No... no chances." I cried into my hands. I wished more than anything that there was something I could do or say to make things better for James, but there just wasn't and I felt a blunt no was what he needed to hear. Him and I... it would never happen, _ever_.

I heard a light footstep and I expected to feel the warmth of Paul's arms enveloping me, yet instead I felt nothing. I let my hands drop just enough down my face so I could see over my fingers and I found myself amazed by what I saw. "Come here, man." Paul huffed as he tugged James into tight embrace. "That's enough... but, you really could have told me, you know."

Slowly James' hands came up to cling at the wolf's sides. "I was too much of a pussy. I'm sorry, Paul... I don't want to lose you because of this."

My wolf let go of the human, although one of the human's hands slipped to the front of Paul's shirt to hold it tightly in his hand while the other fell back to his side. "Jamie, if you ever have any intention of getting rid of me you're going to have to do a hell of a lot more than undermine me to try and steal my imprint." Paul said with a slight bit of humour and a small smile. "One thing's for certain, you've got my love and I can't say I'll ever let go of my baby brother. I just got you and I'm in this for the long haul."

James shook his head in disbelief. "You're unbelievable."

"Nah." Paul looked over his shoulder and gave me a wink before turning back to his _brother_... I kind of like the sound of that. "Bro's before ho's, right?"

The human chuckled despite his heartbreak and watery eyes. "I think I fucked the order of that up."

My wolf shrugged. "Whatever, we're cool. I wouldn't suggest repeating all this again, though. You don't want to see me angry. Hell, I don't want to see me angry!"

"Yeah," James sighed and took his hand from Paul's shirt to rub his eyes dry. "Don't worry. I think I made an ass out of myself enough for one lifetime, and if you don't mind I'd like to go for a walk and when I come back pretend like this never fucking happened."

"If you want." Paul said. James flicked his eyes to mine and I fervently nodded my head yes. If he never wanted me to speak of this again I surely wouldn't. "But, can you make it a drive so I can at least know you're warm?" The wolf asked while he pointed to the keys hanging on a hook by the door, and the human agreed.

James went to the door and opened it as he grabbed the keys, letting a cold blast of air in. He quickly turned around and looked at Paul. "You sure we're alright?" He queried.

"Positive."

With sad little frown the human moved his gaze from Paul to me. "Sorry for making you cry... and for being a tool." He apologized.

I dropped my hands a little further to only cover my lips. "It's fine." I mumbled. I cried at the drop of a hat anyway... I think I needed to work on that.

"Are we still best friends?" He inquired.

"I'm still yours, are you mine?" I questioned in reply.

James nodded. "Always."


	38. Chapter 38

**WARNING: Jail rape... 'Nuff said. **

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-eight**

_Point of View: Edward  
_

The nippy wind tousled my hair and the scent of the salty ocean was strong as I sat on a washed up log with my eyes closed while I listened to the sound of the rolling waves and the tha-thump of a wolf's strong heartbeat. A warm hand came to rest on mine that I had clasped with the other on my lap. Slowly, I opened my amber eyes and took sight of the foggy air and sunless sky – in its own melancholy way this early Friday morning was beautiful.

The wolf sighed beside me and gave my hand a squeeze. "It's tearing you up inside, Ed." I looked over to my right only to see a handsome and concerned expression on Paul's face as he stared out at the calm ocean. "You really ought to tell Jake, it's been close to a year and you're just not coping well."

I shook my head as I turned one of my hands over to cling to his for undeserved comfort. "He wouldn't understand." I mumbled.

"He would." Paul insisted.

Again I shook my head. "I've lied to him enough as it is. He doesn't need to find out about this."

The wolf turned his head and met my gaze. "But, you need help and me being the only one who knows about all this isn't doing you any good. You know Jacob so much better than I do, so you should understand that he wouldn't get mad at you from withholding this from him – he'd only want to be there for you. He _needs_ to hear what's troubling his imprint. Come on, Ed, we both know the alpha is just putting on a tough front while he worries sick about you."

I nodded in agreement to Paul's last statement. "I know that as long as I'm hurting, he is too." I admitted.

"Then you've got to tell him."

With a sigh I averted my eyes from the wolf so I could watch the water. "How am I supposed to tell him that I can't believe I spent seven years going to a deli every Thursday with the intention of finally telling the owner who I really was?" I asked him.

The wolf shrugged and gave me just a ghost of a smile. "Like that I guess. But, let it out, Ed. I'm listening."

I shook my head with the feel of a sick loathing for myself. I let go of Paul's hand to tug at the roots of my hair with my emotions getting the better of me. I didn't want to look weak in front of the wolf, but he knew... he knew I hurt. "Every damn time I turned into a _fucking _coward and instead left with a sandwich for Jake. The human was always so generous and welcoming, and he had a way of making the place feel like a home. He never once felt intimidated because I'm king or even telepathic, instead he just thought of me like a good, normal, young guy and he would often tell me dirty jokes in his mind that he didn't dare say in front of his other customers. It's his face that I'll never forget, though. For an older man with greying hair and a few wrinkles he was exceptionally handsome, he had a beautiful wife to boot and two gorgeous daughters in their early thirties who all worked with him. The first time I walked into his shop he jested that ever since he saw my first picture in the paper he thought he had a long lost son because of how alike we look.

"Little by little, I spent seven years getting to know this wonderful man, and seven years trying to muster up the guts to tell him that he didn't have a long lost son, he had two." I paused, ducking my head and burying my face in my hands. "He seemed healthy, you know. I just don't understand how he could have had a heart attack – sixty isn't old. Human's can live a lot longer than that. I thought I had tons of time." Paul took his hand from my lap and wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

I shook my head in distress and let out a tearless sob. "I wish I told him! I can't stop thinking how things could have been if I just said it. I would have been able to tell him how I felt, how I came to love him, how I wished that he sat at the dinner table a few nights a week with my family, and how just seeing him work at the deli with his daughters... my sisters, he was the dad I've always longed to be." I knew, I fucking _knew _Paul was the last person I should be seeking comfort from. I've been treating him awfully lately, but I wanted him. It has always, _always_ been me trying to soothe him, so when I rested my head on his shoulder and turned my body to better face him it felt precious to have his warm arms hugging me close.

I'd say I felt like a kid again by burying my face in the crook of his neck and tightly gripping at his shirt to make sure he doesn't leave just yet, though that's just not the case. I never was kid in the typical sense of the word. I never knew what playing was. I never laughed. I never even cried. I was never held. I just was, and even though my first seventeen years on this earth weren't good ones I can't help but wish that sometimes I could retreat back into my tiny white walled and windowless room. In that room things were simple. I knew my place. But, out here as king I get lost in all the choices and sometimes I can't quite decipher the good from the bad, even when it is right in front of me.

Paul brought a hand upwards and ran his fingers through my hair in an effort to calm me. _'Listen to this...'_ He thought while he rested his cheek against my head and inhaled a lungful of air. "One of the toughest things I had to learn was not to think about the could have, would have, should haves. Also, don't say you _can't_ stop thinking about it, because you can and if you say otherwise you're just making excuses to let yourself be miserable. The second a negative thought comes to mind force yourself to think of something positive. It's hard, it takes practice, but it works."

I closed my eyes and listened to the relaxing thrum of Paul's blood travelling through his veins. "Keep talking." I whispered. "King's order." At this point I really didn't give a damn if I was the worst leech in the world... I needed to hear his voice. I needed him to be the strong one. I just needed my best friend.

"Sure, what do you want me to talk about?" He queried.

I thought about it for a moment. "Things that make you happy." I answered since I truly didn't know. All the time I spent with him was when he was a looming dark shadow. Yet, now, from time to time, I'd catch him smiling minutely to himself as he thought about something funny or amusing that happened to him – an action that not even two years ago would have seemed impossible.

The wolf nodded against me, his fingers still combing through my hair. "Tons of stuff. My home is a huge one." He informed me, though suddenly chuckled as a thought of Ryan crossed his mind. "Oh, Ed, you've got to come see the place. It has this horrible wooden shingling on the outside of it. I had every intention of getting rid of that shit, but what does Ryan do the second he sees my house for the first time? Whine and complain about it. I told him I loved it and I thought it gave the place character." Paul lifted his head from me while he laughed. "He was so appalled! He was also very adamant that the shingles were to go! I'd never admit it to him, but I find it absolutely adorable when he gets all bossy like that. Obviously the shingles stayed, though only because I love the disappointed pout he gives me each time he sees the house when we park in the driveway. When he does that pout, my god, that bottom lip, each time I just have to-" He abruptly paused. _'...bite it.'_ He accidentally thought and both of his hands immediately dropped from me.

I removed my head from Paul's shoulder to meet his worried brown eyed gaze. I opened my mouth to speak, yet he cut me off. "I love him. I love Ryan so damn much. He's my angel, my sweetheart, and my imprint, and I honestly wouldn't want it any other way. I don't know why, but so many people seem to underestimate him, even you, actually, especially you." Both our eyes widened with his accusation and once again he cut me off as I went to speak. "He cries, yet he's tougher than we'll ever be. He's small, but he's stronger than any wolf or vampire I know. He's pretty, though there's one hell of an alpha and man growing inside him. He doesn't need you babying him, and that's exactly why I don't despite the fact that all I want to do is coddle him. But, I know he doesn't need me to take care of him and he really doesn't need me to come to his rescue every time he gets upset. He's a big boy, Ed, he can take care of himself, even if we want to do it for him."

I shook my head while I stood from up from the log. "You don't get it!" I angrily snapped while I glared down at the wolf. "You'll never get it, and you'll never get it because you're selfish man, Paul."

The wolf rolled his eyes as he got to his feet and faced me. "Can you even hear yourself? If getting a life, going to therapy, and loving your son is selfish then, by god, I'm guilty of it! But, tell me, fucking tell me, Edward, what are you doing that is so damn spectacular these days, besides, you know, holding your brother prisoner in his own home and raising a resentful wolf?"

I gritted my teeth and clenched my hands at my sides. "You're way out of line, _mutt_. Watch your mouth!" I hissed.

"Or you'll what?" Paul snarled. "Send me to purgatory? I'd like to see that. Forbid me from seeing my imprint? Try and fucking stop me. Tell me to run off and drop dead? Go fuck yourself! Face it, _leech_, Ryan is no longer _your _puppy, he's _my _wolf!" He just barely finished his sentence before one hell of a sickening crack was heard as my fist collided with his left cheek with all the strength I had. The force of the blow knocked him off his feet, turning him to his right and landing him roughly on his face and stomach on the rocky beach.

With a pained groan the wolf rolled onto his back, rocks clacking beneath him, while he clutched at his cheek. I stalked to him, leaned down and grabbed hold of the front of the long sleeved shirt he wore and lifted him just enough that my face was close to his. "I don't know who the fuck you think you are, but Ryan will always be _my_ puppy! You should know better than to piss me off, Paul." I furiously growled out. "And I'm really fucking pissed off!" He let his hand fall by his side to reveal a large black and blue bruise, yet he smirked at me, the wolf fucking smirked at me! Faster than a blink of an eye Paul spat and covered my face in his blood – the main portion of it drenching my nose and lips. I instantly stopped my needless breathing, yet the delicious scent of it still managed to dazzle my senses and a painful burn in my throat told me to sink my teeth into him and feed. Without choice I dropped the wolf back onto the rocks and scrubbed the sleeve of my dress shirt across my lips before I might lick them.

Paul leaned to his side and emptied his mouth of blood onto the beach. I figured he'd shift or bolt, though he obviously did neither and the two thoughts never even crossed his mind. "You think I don't get it, huh?" He angrily questioned and my only response was to shake my head no as I continued to clean off my face. "Then you're a fucking fool." He grumbled.

With a lot of effort the wolf pulled himself to his feet, and while appearing a little unbalanced he caught my eyes with his as I took one last swipe at my face with my sleeve. "I'm your best goddamn friend, Edward – that means I know you better than anyone, even your own husband for christ's sake! I get that losing your father a year ago has got you clinging to your family for dear life. I understand that you're terrified of losing them to some random accident of chance and I know you'd have Ryan and Rachel locked in the palace right along with Riley if you could get away with it. But, god, Ed, you're just so fucking stupid! Jake would know better than anyone what you're going through right now – he's felt the exact same way and there is _no_ denying that.

"I love you, Ed, you know I do and that's why I'm going to say what I have to say next. You're losing it. You're so paranoid and you're really depressed. You've never lost someone that you've loved before and with your father's death came a lot of guilt and regret. Yet, you can't change this shit no matter how much you wish for it. The past is stuck the same and no amount of loathing for it or yourself will do you any good."

I literally had no option but to hang my head in shame. "Fuck..." I breathed. "You do get it."

"No shit, asshole." Paul snapped as he stepped closer, and with his index finger touched beneath my jaw to lift my face. "Now, chin up, your grace, there's not a thing in this world you can't overcome. It'd make you look bad to fail and you certainly wouldn't have that."

I shook my head at him. "In a way you think too highly of me."

The wolf shrugged with a smile that caused him to wince from the pain in his cheek. "You're my king, there's nobody better than you." He praised. "...Except Ryan." He added with a chuckle.

"Shut the hell up, Paul." I huffed in annoyance. The wolf just laughed and turned to head for the trees while nodding for me to follow.

For the most part we walked through the dreary looking woods in silence, yet as the forest thinned and the palace came into sight he spoke up. "So, is now a bad time to ask for more time with my imprint?" He queried with a playful little glint in his eyes.

"Yes, I don't trust you with him." I simply stated.

The wolf rolled his eyes, but decided to give me some affection by slinging a strong arm around my shoulders and giving my hair a slight nuzzle with his good cheek. "Why? I'm a good boy."

I turned my head to gaze at my friend. "Because I'm so paranoid and really depressed. You could be the devil in disguise for all I know, plus if I'm miserable everybody else has to be too." I answered with a playful little smile of my own.

This caused Paul to try and grin at me, though his cheek which looked slightly better and appeared a greenish-blue stopped him from doing so. "I love it when you smile, Ed. You hardly look like a prick when you do." He jested... I think. It doesn't matter, I couldn't help but chuckle a bit.

"Yeah, well, I hate your smile. It always takes away my urge to strangle you."

The wolf laughed which caused him to flinch in pain and he gave my shoulder a squeeze with his warm copper hand as he attempted to hold back his laughter. "All the more reason for me to keep on smiling then." He happily said, and once again he gave me a friendly nuzzle. Although, I knew he was just trying to butter me up. It wasn't working... much. "Sunday, noonish, and only for a few hours."

I sighed and looked from the wolf to the ground, watching the dirt turn to lively green grass. "How do I know this is really you, or, no, how I do I know this will stay you?" I asked as I brought my eyes back up to look at him.

Paul frowned while his nostrils flared slightly as he exhaled a deep breath. "I don't know. How can I prove it to you?"

"No idea... Can you talk about it, though?"

Paul gave me an uncertain look. "Prison?" He questioned, and I nodded my head yes. "I guess."

"Without getting upset?"

His arm dropped from me. "Maybe." He murmured while he stuck his hands in his pants pockets.

"Okay, go ahead, let's hear it." I told him.

"Seriously?" He queried as he gave me pleading eyes, though hid his thoughts well. It was enough to know that he didn't want to talk about prison at all.

If he wanted me to trust him at least a little with my puppy's heart he'd have to be able to face his past and be strong. I swear if I see a single tear or so much as watery eyes then Sunday is a firm no. "Tell me all about what happened to you."

The wolf shook his head. "Ed, please... I'll do anything else."

I shook my head right back at him. "I'm waiting." I said.

Paul took a hand from his pocket and roughly ran it through his hair. "As we went from teenagers to adults you told me countless times how you thought that when Ryan was older I was meant to be with him and I always disagreed. But, now, now that I'm standing right before you telling you that I love and want him you've changed your tune. The fucking irony of it all!" Paul exclaimed, and followed it up by letting out a huge irritated sigh. I remained silent as our shoes hit the stone of the circular drive at the front of the place and as we came to the wolf's truck he turned to face me. "Please, just tell me, which one is it?"

I crossed my arms, my stained sleeves touching one another. I wasn't happy that the wolf ruined my favourite shirt. "What happened to you in prison, Paul?"

"You're not going to let that go, are you?" He asked, and I shook my head no. "Fuck, christ, fine then!" He spat. The wolf sucked in a deep breath of air and scrubbed his hands across his face. When they dropped to his sides his brown eyes met mine and he gave me one hell of an intense gaze while graphic and gruesome thoughts of his prison stay came to his mind. I prayed that he held it together. I wasn't about to tell him that I thought he was a wonderful companion for my son if he stayed strong, actually, I wouldn't ever. There were just too many ways he could screw up and ruin everything including the prince's heart. I'd do everything in my power to not let that happen.

The wolf licked his lips and exhaled. _Not a single tear, Paul. Not one..._ "Inside the prison wasn't dark or gloomy, and looking at it from a visitor's perspective you'd never know what went on in there. The floors were spotless, the place was bright with artificial light, and our matching orange prison garb was fresh and pressed. Each cell was neat and tidy with a metal bunk bed that had a scratchy woollen blanket on each of the two small foam mattresses. There was a little wooden desk without a chair where we could put a few of our belongings and in the far left corner was a shiny metal toilet and sink that were always kept immaculately clean.

"One time when I was on the waxed concrete floor of my cell I had my hands gripping the bars with my face forcefully pressed into them. Don't even try to imagine the pain I felt from behind, because you can't, you'll never understand – it's unfathomable. It wasn't the first time though, not even the second, third, or fourth, and with my face and hands against the metal a strange thought crossed my mind: How did they get it so smooth? The metal was so smooth it almost felt soft and in a fucked up way I liked the feel of those cool bars against me. When I cried so hard I thought I might suffocate, if my face was against those bars the chill of them always helped to soothe the aching heat in my cheeks.

"Up until that point things were tolerable, and I say tolerable because what other choice did I have other than to fucking tolerate it? But, it was when my cell mate Aro was put into solitary and I got a new one that the road to hell had ended and I had arrived in the blistering heat of it all. He was only ten-years-old and was there for something completely ridiculous – I forget what it was now, but you gotta remember, things were different back then. It certainly wasn't the first time someone that young had been there and it definitely wasn't the last. Anyway, he was slightly on the smaller side, but not by much. He was cute, real cute, and the bravest little thing." The wolf paused and slowly brought his eyes back to mine which had drifted to the ground while he'd spoken. "You know what I did. I don't think I should have to say it."

I nodded. "Yes, but I want to be reminded." Paul ducked his head and closed his eyes while he pressed his thumb and index finger to his forehead to shield his face from me. Willingly he forced memory after memory of a fresh faced and light skinned puppy with striking silvery-blue eyes to the forefront of his mind.

Gradually the wolf lifted his head back up and dropped his hand to the hem of his shirt to grip it like the other one was doing. I was very pleased however to see that his eyes were still dry. "I did what I had to do. He was just a sweet little boy that came from a good home with loving parents, he knew nothing of the horrors people were capable of doing to each other and I swore to myself that that puppy would never, _ever_ know any of the horrible things it's possible to feel, both physically and mentally. But, my god, there was only so much I could do... but as luck would have it there wasn't many interested in him, sexually speaking. I figured it was his young age, though that didn't deter one wolf in particular – a guard." As Paul summarized what happened I also got the full and detailed version from his thoughts. _'It's impossible to forget the first morning the puppy had inside the prison. Three guards had entered through the cell door – all wolves – wearing matching navy blue pants and light blue shirts with a badge sewn on the upper left hand side of their chest. I honestly thought they were there for me considering I had 'gotten to know' one of the guards a few weeks prior, but I found myself horrified when they ripped the boy from my grasp and two of the three guards held me still by the door while the other handled the puppy._

_ 'With eyes full of petrified tears I screamed and begged for the guard not to hurt the boy, yet as expected he listened to me none. A wolf muffled my cries with his large russet hand and I was forced to watch helplessly as the guard exposed himself and bent a flailing puppy holding a brave face over the bottom bunk. However, right as the guard pulled down the puppies oversized orange pants I managed to get a hold of the wolf's hand with my teeth causing him to rip it away and free my mouth. "Me!" I pleaded. "Take me!" I didn't think, I couldn't think – the words just came out. All I knew is the puppy, that beautiful and innocent little boy could never know how insignificant, how small, how dirty and disgusting someone could make him feel. "I want it!" I fretfully exclaimed. "I'll make it good! I swear to god I'll make it good!"_

_ 'To my utter fucking relief the guard decided he'd have me instead. Although, that relief was short lived since I realized rather quickly what I had just gotten myself into. For the boy... I did what I had to do for the boy. I fucked without complaint and rocked my hips in time with the guard's despite the agony of it all. As wolves often were, he was anything but gentle with me and in the middle of it all he gave me a task I felt was impossible – he demanded that I orgasm, saying that he wanted to feel me tighten around him as I did so, but if I couldn't manage it he'd move onto the puppy. _

_ 'Desperately, fervently, I stroked myself as I chanted inside my mind that the pain of the wolf inside me felt good – that I liked, even loved it. I came up with some warped story in my head that we were excited lovers that couldn't bear to keep our hands off each other and the sex had ended up needy and rough. With myself lost in that thought and my eyes squeezed tightly shut I managed it, I fucking managed it... I came and it was the sickest most revolting pleasure I had ever felt. Years later, angry and vindictive, I murdered that wolf down in purgatory. He screamed so bloodcurdlingly loud before he died that I swear for at least a second of his pathetic life, albeit his last, he understood exactly what he'd done to me and was truly remorseful. Sadly, his death didn't even take an ounce of the pain away and it was kind of a waste. The whole fucking list was a waste._

_ 'When the wolf was done with me I wanted to cry... just lie there nude and cry – I didn't, and if only for the reason that a puppy with tear stained cheeks had been watching the whole time. I don't know if it was luck or not that the guard didn't ejaculate inside me and instead forced me to my knees to use my mouth to empty himself. Truthfully, and this may be fucked up, I always preferred it the other way around. I never could stand the taste._

_ 'I learnt a terrible lesson that day: A weakness in prison was a very, _very_ bad thing to have. The puppy was my weakness and that weakness took me right down to the deepest and darkest bowels of hell. Over and over he was used against me to make me do things I'd rather die than do. Only once, however, did I ever fail to listen to demands – that taught me another lesson: Nobody bluffed when they said they'll hurt the puppy if I didn't do what I was told. Like I said, I only made that mistake once, seeing the boy with a busted lip a black eye, a bloody nose and a permanent tattoo across his fingers that read 'FUCK' was not something I was willing to repeat._

_ 'It got to the point where bad things were so frequent the poor puppy would beg and beg for me to just let them hurt him. I have to say, I didn't once contemplate it. I had gotten that far, done that much... I'd let them starve me, let them beat me, let them use me however they pleased – not that I could have prevented any of that in the first place, but I definitely could have kicked up a fuss, and I seriously would have if it weren't for the puppy. But, as previously mentioned, I had gotten that far and done that much, there really was no going back. There truthfully was no act too perverse or painful I wouldn't put myself through for that boy – I'd have done anything to keep him safe, anything... and I did. _

_ 'After two months with Aro then three with the puppy one of the best days of my life happened. The boy was released and sent home. When the guards came to collect him he did everything from demand that I be released as well to refusing to leave the prison all together. In the end he clung to me for dear life while the guards pried his fingers from me one by one, and as they dragged him away the puppy hollered my way. "__**FUCK**__, Paul! __**FUCK FUCK FUCK**__! I promise I won't forget!"' _The wolf sucked in a shaky and explained what the puppy meant. "My **F**riend Paul will protect me **U**nder any and all **C**ircumstances to **K**eep me safe. He hated his tattoo, though loved it right away when I told him that's what I thought it stood for. I'd hear him repeat that to himself every time we got 'visitors'." Again Paul ducked his head, although my prayers were visibly not answered and a few tears dampened his coopers cheeks.

He shook his head a little and he wiped away the tears that had spilt. "Sorry." He said with a light chuckle as he met my gaze. "I swear I'm not upset, quite the opposite. I spent _so_ many years with this 'why me?' attitude, and I've come to realize that it was after the boy left the prison that's when I snapped and everything got the better of me. He was my reason to be strong, to keep it together, to keep on living, though with him gone I had no reason for any of that anymore. A month later I was knocking on deaths door, though as fate would have it I was abruptly released from prison because of King William's orders. When I got out that miserable attitude stuck. My mind was just like an infected wound, if you don't do anything to make it better it's inevitably going to get worse. I left it to fester and the pain grew immensely. It took me losing half of my soul, the most precious thing to me, my imprint, to admit to myself that I actually had a really big problem. Yet, at that point the infection had made me so sick and weak I felt like there was no hope for me, and because of this I spent five long, excruciating, hellish years in the forest alone.

"When I finally got my imprint back, he soothed the ache just enough that I didn't fight back when James force fed me 'antibiotics'. Also, the same day as my first dose, Eric injected me with some sort of experimental drug, but it worked – his shitty words helped me see my prince more clearly. On those cliffs in the snow with Ryan's furry body on my bare one to keep me warm and protected a strange new thought came to mind: What if we really are meant to be something more? Seriously, when I think of Eric, I think 'halle-fucking-lujah!'. I finally had that seed of thought planted, and over time it grew beautifully while my infection continued to heal."

The corners of Paul's eyes crinkled slightly as he gave me a tiny smile. "Everything is different now. The love I grew for Ryan is bursting with life and I've only got a few bandages here and there. It still hurts to poke and prod where those bandages are, yet when I look back I don't think 'why me?' anymore. I think 'better me than the puppy'. I have gotten to the point where I can feel proud of myself because I saved that pup from the same wounds that were likely to fester much like mine. I like to think that wherever he is now he's some awesome wolf that is, perhaps, if I'm lucky, even a little grateful for **FUCK**." He confidently informed me, leaving me utterly lost for words. I honestly didn't have a clue what to say to him in reply, but I was definitely willing to excuse those few tears, though.

"Please don't get me wrong, things aren't suddenly all hunky-dory for me. I have bad days sometimes, but even on my bad days I manage just fine to take care of Katie, as well as nag James about how messy he is and how he needs to focus more on his schoolwork." The wolf paused to take a breath and let out a sigh. "Ryan told me you're worried about me going back to my old ways, but, Ed, I'm a stubborn man, even if I get knocked down I'm getting right back up again because nothing and I mean nothing, not Jake, not even you, seriously, nothing is going to stop me from making a wonderful life with my imprint." With Paul's little speech I didn't know whether to be pissed off or proud of him. I desperately wanted to go into overprotective dad mode and refuse him my son. I wanted to tell him to fuck off, he wasn't good enough, and to go bother someone else, yet the other half me, his best friend half wanted to give him props, to tell him 'go get 'em, tiger!' and not to let anything or anybody get in his way. It was a bit of a conundrum, really.

In the end I scowled at the mongrel. "Sunday's will do just fine." I said through gritted teeth while I turned away from him and headed off in the direction of the palace entrance.

"What, that's it?! No feedback?" He called after me.

I looked over my shoulder to view him. "Nope!... But," I gave Paul a wicked grin. "I love you!"

The wolf smirked and he pulled open the door to his truck as he mumbled to himself. "Love you too, ya crazy, over-sensitive, bloodsucking, bipolar, mother fu-"

I stopped walking and turned around to give him a feigned look of anger with furrowed brows. "I can hear that!"

The wolf flicked his gaze to mine while appearing over-zealously innocent. "Hear what?" He queried with a crooked grin.

I couldn't help but playfully roll my eyes. "Hardy-har-har, keep that up and I'll make your other cheek look just as bad as your left one." I threatened.

"Your grace!" Paul gasped in mock surprise. "How uncivilized!"

"Fine!" I laughed. "I'll get one of the guards to do it then, maybe even two!"

The wolf accepted that answer and nodded his head. "Much better. You're king for fuck's sake, act like it!" He jokingly chided.

For a moment or two I swayed forward, then backward, then forward once more before I finally just said screw it. In a flash I was in front of the wolf pulling him into a tight hug because I just couldn't stop myself. "This hug is from the seventeen-year-old me. He's so proud and so damn happy for you. He just can't believe it. You're becoming such a beautiful person. God, it's so wonderful." I babbled, though before he could hug me too, I pulled back to look at his shocked face and gave him a stern frown. "But hurt my boy in any sort of manner and your balls and a vice grip will have a date."

The wolf's face softened and he gave me the loveliest smile. "Yeah yeah..." He said with chuckle. "Hey, Ed? Do me a favour and ask that seventeen-year-old you if he wants to come over tonight to see my place and hang out like old times, well, minus the whole me brooding and you desperately trying to figure out a way to fix me part." With his offer I found a tad of excitement brewing in me, a little something I haven't felt in a long time. Paul looked me up and down and met my eyes. "As for this," He said as he poked me in the chest then pulled on the blood sleeves of my shirt. "You, nuh-uh, you're not invited. I want to see my buddy, you know, the kindhearted, caring, and cute individual."

I perked a brow. "Cute? No." I laughed.

The wolf cockily smirked. "Okay, not cute. Hot, I'll just call you hot... mainly because you are." His cheeks tinted a little pink with his words, but he managed to hold onto that smirk.

I smiled at him. "Paul Lahote, I'll have you know it's horrible etiquette to flirt with your boyfriend's dad." I playfully chastised.

His nose crinkled and brows furrowed like I had said something disturbing "Me, flirting? Not possible! I'm way to fucked up for that shit – I'd probably get the heebie-jeebies or something just thinking about it." He seemingly asserted, although his displeased face faded into one of amusement. "But, I'll have you know, in an alternate reality, it was _me_ who bought you at that auction."

My smile widened into an astonished grin. "You are flirting with me!"

Paul shook his head in disagreement with a slight laugh as he took the keys from his pants pocket and hopped into his truck. "Nah, I'm just trying to keep you smiling. I told you I love it when you do. Reminds me of the old you." He explained while he clicked on his seat belt, he placed the key in the ignition and made the motor come rumbling to life. I got out of the way so he could close the door and once it was firmly shut he rolled down the window.

I caught the wolf's happy brown eyes through the open window. "Hey, Paul, love you."

"You already said that."

I shrugged. "Yeah, I know, but you didn't properly say it back." I told him.

Paul gave me a look... like a fuzzy, warmhearted, that's-so-cute kind of look. "I love you too, Ed." He affirmed for me.

I sighed with a feeling of melancholy inside me despite his nice words. "Should you, though?" I questioned.

That fuzzy look instantaneously turned into a 'what the hell, are you mental?' kind of expression. "Edward, _yes_, what a stupid question! You are a daft, _daft_ king!" He loudly proclaimed, and I watched his lips turn into quite the cheeky grin. "Besides, you're my future father-in-law, so I may as well love you since in a few years I'll have to anyway."

My jaw dropped and I fervently shook my head. "Oh, no way, Paul! Don't you be thinking about stuff like that! Ryan won't be ready for marriage for many, _many_ years; neither will you for that matter."

Paul kept that cheeky grin. "More like a few." He insisted.

Again I shook my head. "Many."

"Few." He immediately remarked.

I furrowed my brows. "Many."

"Few." He casually quipped.

"Many!" I sternly exclaimed.

"Few."

I sighed and crossed my arms. "Many."

"Few."

I rolled my eyes and let out a huff of breath. "Shut up, dog. How does seven this evening work for you?" I asked.

"You'll be the old you?"

I nodded. "So long as you'll be the new you."

"Sure will." The wolf confirmed as his truck began to roll forward, and when he was about half a dozen or so yards away he stuck his head out the window to look back at me. "See ya then..." Once again that cheeky grin appeared on his face. "_Dad_!" He shouted with a bark of laughter and tucked his head back in the window.

"Many!" I hollered after him as he sped off, yet catching me completely off guard, but giving me a good laugh was his hand popping out the window to flip me the bird.


	39. Chapter 39

**WARNING: Orgasm x2  
**

* * *

**Chapter Thirty-nine**

_Point of View: Ryan  
_

Things were all screwed up. I hadn't seen or heard from James for three whole days, now going on four, which for us was like forever. It was so, so selfish of me, but I miss him dearly and I can only hope he can come to forgive me for being the worst best friend in the world. He wouldn't answer my calls or emails and I'm certain if he had a cell phone he wouldn't reply to my texts either.

James said we'd always be friends so I really didn't understand what was going on. Paul told me I just needed to cool it and give the human time. I gave my wolf a letter to give to James, whether he'd read it I don't know, it was probably a long shot. I know my apology probably meant nothing, but I needed to say it – he had to know. I know he said to not bring it up again, yet I thought it was fair that I explain my part of the story... not that it was very a good part.

Feeling guilty doesn't even begin to explain my emotions. I learnt that I had done so much wrong by James and I was completely willing to take responsibility for my actions, and I said as much in my letter. I told him it was awful of me to never take him seriously when he used to say he was in love with me. I said it was horrendous behaviour that I'd kiss him and let him hold me while I whined about Paul. Worse, the countless times we got off together – sure, we never touched each other like that, but we touched ourselves while watching the other. I know he wasn't ready to be with a boy then, though I can only imagine the thoughts that crossed his mind.

And, you know what's even worse then that? That he loved me enough to let me go and all I did was shove everything in his face. Of course I never did anything to purposely hurt him, I'd never ever do that. I was just a selfish teenage boy who didn't know better. I couldn't be that boy anymore. I wanted to be a man and a damn good one, and instead of being selfish I wanted to be selfless. I wasn't so sure how one went about changing themselves, though I knew I drastically needed a personality makeover.

I didn't really know how to start improving myself, yet on Saturday when Paul came over early in the morning with my dad who had apparently spent the entire night at the wolf's place I spent the day researching something and babysitting Katie since Paul immediately crashed in my bed. Eric kind of had a good day, he has a soft spot for my Paulie and he was able to spend the morning and most of the afternoon stealing cuddles from the sleep deprived wolf. I didn't dare tell Paul that he is such a snugly sap in his sleep. He liked to give Eric a hard time, sick or not, when it came to the wolf touching him. Well, too bad for Paul, that day they were like two peas in pod and perfect pack mates. I loved to see my wolves close like that and it seriously thrilled me, and nearly to death, when Emily came over and got in on the action. She snuggled up to Eric who was snuggled up to Paul, and it was just wonderful! Although, it would have been better if James was there.

Around mid-afternoon I was on my couch at the end of the bed with Katie all comfy, warm and napping at one side while I sat at the other and was doing what I said previously, researching. I didn't yet know how to be selfless, but I was learning how to build and fix things, well, was going to learn. I decided my first project would be Eric. Technically, _I _couldn't 'fix' my alpha wolf, though I definitely had the funds... my _parents_ definitely had the funds to pay someone else too. I'm not talking about trying to get him well, that he has to do himself and with plenty of time, I'm talking about his arm.

I once read something somewhere talking about attaching limbs of deceased persons onto others who need them. I think it's kind of creepy, but I think it's awesome that science has come that far. Heck, they make it sound like every day surgery from what I've read. Then again, if they can make miracle babies like my sister this should be a piece of cake I would think. All I had to do was somehow convince my dad to pay for it and contact the doctors so we could get this done as soon as Eric was well, assuming he wanted it, though I kind of figured he'd be all for it. Why would you only want one hand?

I knew my father wouldn't have a problem with it and would organize everything himself for me, yet I felt the amount of money that had to be spent needed my dad's blessing. So, on Sunday morning I left Eric with Riley and found my parents in their office, and, no, they weren't working. I had clearly interrupted something that I just don't want to mention – luckily I had knocked first, although I had to speak to them about Eric with both their shirts missing and my dad's belt undone while they sent lascivious glances each other's way. Admittedly, I hoped Paul and I were like that after over ten years of marriage. I mean, if we ever get married. But, seriously, as gross as it is to see my dads like that I'm happy they have that over the alternative. It's like they are constantly hungry for each other and you can just tell they love one another even though my dad's kind of jerk sometimes and my father can be pretty outrageous. They're very much the opposite, yet somehow complement each other nicely.

Anyway, they really wanted me out of the room and I honestly think they would have agreed to anything for that to happen. Yeah, I definitely found myself a new strategy when I wanted to ask for something. Actually, that day was full of surprises since in the early afternoon Paul showed up with Emily and Katie. I thought my dad was going to give him an earful for being there, but red eyed and sated from sex he told me he had agreed that Paul could see me for a few hours each Sunday. Oh, you have no idea how excited I was – I swear I just about kissed my dad right on the lips. Okay, no, I totally did and it was ridiculously awkward after that, for me at least. My Paulie got a great laugh out of it and Emily said something like that would have been hot if his grace wasn't my dad. Uh-huh, I quite literally puked in my mouth a little and my dad politely asked her to go away. I mentally thanked him and for being a polite puppy I was rewarded with a cool kiss on my temple.

Paul cleared his throat getting my dad's attention who had his arm wrapped around my shoulders. "So, Ed, I wanted to ask you something." He informed him while he held on tightly to a sleepy little girl in his arms.

Dad quirked a brow. "Wanted or want?" He smart ass_tically_ queried – I do believe I just made up a new word.

The wolf looked at him completely unamused. "Can I take my imprint out for an hour or two?" He deadpanned in question.

"Your who? And, which is it, an hour, or two?" I looked up at my dad and sighed. Some things just never change.

Paul sighed right along with me. "Can I take _your_ fucking son out for approximately two goddamn hours?"

Dad smirked. "No." He chirped. "You forgot to say please."

Paul smirked right back. "Can I _please_ take your son out for approximately two hours, my king?" He asked so politely it seemed rude.

My dad's smirk turned into small playful grin. "I don't know, _can_ you, Paul? You look rather capable. Perhaps you should be asking if I'd _allow_ you to take my son out for approximately two goddamn hours." He seemingly teased the wolf.

Paul rolled his eyes as he let out a huff of breath. "Fucking hell, leech, you're like an old menopausal English teacher." He quipped with feigned irritation while he strode forward and passed over a sleeping Katie to my dad.

My dad took his arm from around me and held Katie just like Paul had to keep her comfortable. He looked down at the girl with a questioning gaze, then flicked his eyes back to the wolf. "Why am I holding this human?" He inquired.

Paul grinned at my dad and took my hand. "Oh, is it not obvious? You're babysitting."

Dad rose his brows. "Am I? How much are you paying me?" He queried.

The wolf chuckled. "Nothing, your team lost on Friday, you still owe me that hundred bucks."

"I'm king, mongrel, or have you forgotten? Two hours of my time is worth a hell of a lot more than that."

The wolf smiled as he turned his back to my dad and guided me toward the door. On our way out he faced my dad from the doorway. "Then I'm glad you're a good king and love doing charity work." Paul confidently said.

"But I'm no good with kids." Dad lied with a whine.

"That one is awesome." Paul told him while he nodded toward Katie. "Just think of her as a little drunk person that likes to be thrown into the air." That gave my dad a good laugh and once he settled I told him I loved him, said my goodbye, and asked if he'd tell Eric I wouldn't be long and to make sure Riley and Emily didn't leave him alone. He looked a little annoyed, though agreed nonetheless.

For some reason I thought Paul would be taking me out for a meal or something, but that wasn't the case – nope, not at all. We went to look at dogs at a local shelter! Oh, it was so much fun! He said he needs to start living his dream and he's always wanted a pet dog. He didn't find one he really connected with, but I would have taken the whole dozen of them home if I could have. There was one I wanted so damn badly, it was a little ugly scruffy thing. I begged the wolf to let me get him, yet he said he'd sooner leave me at the shelter than take me back to the palace with a dog. He had a point, my dad would kill him. Don't get me wrong, my dad loves animals... when they're outside where they 'belong'.

I was lucky enough that my Cielo stayed indoors. Although, I think my dad knows I'd gut him if he let my cat out and something happened to him. Speaking of living the dream, my kitty sure is. Almost every second of the day he has warm bodied Eric to sleep with. I was beginning to get jealous, it was like I hardly existed anymore. Then again, I guess I shouldn't complain. Every time Cielo began to purr while Eric was fast asleep the corner of his lips would turn upwards slightly.

Anyway, all that brings me to now, Monday. I stood outside the rec centre that held the workshop while waiting for Nahuel. I was early, I couldn't help it. I was so eager, yet extremely nervous as well. I was terrified I was going to make a fool out of myself. Actually, I pretty much figured that was inevitable – I just hoped he'd act like I wasn't an idiot.

My excitement lasted a good fifteen minutes and started to dissipate when I noticed a group of guys laughing and gawking at me as they made their way from a bus stop across the parking lot that was situated along a main road. Instinct told me to get the hell out of there, yet I didn't want to look like a pussy and run, plus Nahuel would be here any minute. Besides, for all I knew they were really nice boys and I was just misinterpreting they're actions.

As the group of six got closer the only vampire among them whose pale face sparkled in the slight rays of sunshine caught my eyes. "Nice weather, ain't it, my prince?" He asked. Whether he was trying to be rude I wasn't sure.

I nodded. "Um, yeah. Sure is for March." I answered, and they all chuckled. I don't know what at.

They came up on the curb alongside the building, three on either side of me and it was then I got the feeling I probably should have went with my instincts, especially when they all looked around at each other and nodded. I went to bolt, but hardly managed to run a full step before two of them grabbed each one of my arms.

I struggled in their grasp and the biggest one of the wolves came to stand in front of me to block my way. My heart dropped and I heard myself gasp as the wolf who faced me pulled a knife from his pocket. My eyes followed the blade as he tossed it over my shoulder to the vampire behind me while the last two wolves roughly tugged all my hair together at the back of my head.

* * *

_Point of View: James_

When it rained, it poured – I guess that's why big brothers were invented. It was totally weird to be sitting on the couch with Paul with my hand clinging onto his for dear fucking life. We were a good half a cushion apart with our hands between us and with the wolf's other he flipped through channels on the television acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

I was squeezing his hand with all my strength and exerting every bit of my effort into it. My whole arm ached right up to the shoulder, but I knew the moment I eased up I'd break and I wasn't all that certain what that entailed. It probably didn't help that I was a little drunk and it was hardly noon, yet it felt fitting, and maybe if I was lucky the beer would wash away my bitter love filled resentment for the prince. For some reason I didn't think I should count on it.

I'm such a fucking idiot. What was I thinking when I begged Ryan to love me? No matter how seriously I tried to _not _take the rejection it still stung, and I'm hurting. Really, really hurting. I knew the prince would never want me and I have to say if I thought I actually stood a chance I don't think I would have ever opened my big mouth. I'd never take Paul's imprint away. Sure, I'm evil and dream of it, but I'd never _actually_ do it. I think unrelated better brother knows that.

But, seriously, was it really so hard for Ryan to give me a chance? Was I that undesirable that he wouldn't even take a second to think about it? Was the idea of being with me so awful it made him cry? "Hey, Jamie," Paul sighed breaking my thoughts. I turned my head to the right to meet his eyes. "Do me a favour and don't think those things."

I frowned at the wolf. "How do you know what I'm thinking?" I queried.

He shrugged. "I don't really, I just know you're thinking stuff you shouldn't." The wolf swallowed and his gaze turned serious. "I'd like to tell you something if you're willing to swear it will always stay between you and me."

I nodded. "Of course."

Paul nodded as well. "I think you're too good for Ryan." He told me.

I furrowed my brows. "What?!" I gasped in surprise. "You can't be serious."

He shook his head as he scooted close to me and brought my hand to his lap where I continued to hold his tightly. "No, I am serious." He insisted. "I know you love him and I honestly can't blame you for it, look at me after all. But, you, James, you deserve so much more than Ryan has to offer."

I blinked in disbelief. "I think you've gone and lost it, mutt."

Again Paul shook his head and chuckled lightly. "Nah, I'm telling the truth. Yes, I think Ryan is perfect in every which way, but I'm horribly biased. I'm not a complete dunce though, I know he's actually not. I can see how his crying might get annoying despite how beautiful I think he is when he's all blotchy faced and teary, and how one might think it's selfish that he pouts when he doesn't get his way, even though I believe it to be one of the cutest things about him. There are lots of little things I know I shouldn't like, but do. Maybe it's the imprint that makes me feel this way or maybe, and this is what I think, I just fucking love him way too much for my own good.

"Though, like I said, Ryan can't offer you anything you deserve and I know this for a fact because he doesn't seem to be smart enough to love you back. You're a catch, Jamie, and any girl, guy..." The wolf gave me a goofy small smile. "Or anything in between would be damn lucky to have you. If Ryan can't see how wonderful, loving, and handsome you are then why would you ever want to be stuck with the fool?"

I had no choice but to look away from Paul. If I kept looking at that stupid sincere and caring face of his I might just tear up. God help me, don't let that happen! "I don't know what to say..." I muttered.

"Then don't say anything, but do know there is a precious little vampire that does see how wonderful, loving, and handsome you are."

I shook my head with a sigh. "I've screwed that up big time. I haven't even talked to him since Friday."

"Yeah, you haven't. I have and he's worried about you." The wolf informed me.

I flicked my eyes back to Paul's. "Why would he be worried?" I asked.

There was a guilty glint in the way he looked at me and he wetted his lips with the tip of his tongue. "Because I told him everything, no details left out, since I knew you wouldn't." He confessed.

I slouched in my seat, feeling rather hopeless. I didn't have the energy to be mad. "Tell me you didn't."

"Oh, I did! I'm your big brother for god's sake, I'm all up in your business whether you like it or not."

I couldn't help but smile at the stupid dog. "You take your role way to seriously."

"Not possible." He remarked with a shake of his head and he threw an arm around my shoulders to tug me close, then held my hand that was left in his lap with his other. "I love you, James, and there's not a thing in this world I wouldn't do for you."

To save me the embarrassment of throwing myself at him, burying my face in his chest like a little boy, bawling like a baby, and refusing to ever let go, I cracked a cheeky smirk as I gave him a sideways glance. "Are we going to kiss now?" I jested.

* * *

_Point of View: Edward  
_

I stood outside a deli gazing through the window to see three woman working behind the counter. The world felt silent. I could see cars rushing by out of the corner of my eyes, yet everything felt slow. The vehicles seemed like they were crawling by and the people around me on the busy downtown sidewalk took what felt like hours to pass by as they stared at their king. My mind felt so lost that I couldn't even hear a single thought of others, and hardly my own for that matter.

I wanted to be in there with those women. I wanted to be behind that counter. I wanted everything I should have had growing up. I wished I had someone to look at in complete admiration and love because they had adored and raised me since the day I took my first breath of air. I wish I had someone to tell me they were proud of me, that I had done good, and that I was doing alright. I wish I had memories of toys and friends, siblings, laughter, and even bouts of the flu where I was sick in bed with parents coddling and cooing over me.

I pressed my hand to glass of the window. But... but, I've made a new beginning once, and maybe with these ladies I could make another one. It was worth a shot at least. My sisters' mother caught sight of me through the glass and even though I smiled at her she frowned. She said something to her two daughters and hung up her apron behind the counter and made her way to the door which jingled as she pulled it open and stepped onto the sidewalk.

I turned to her and again offered up a little smile, yet she still held firm to that frown. "Your grace, and what do I owe the pleasure?" Her voice was soft and her flowery perfume was strong, although I figured it would hardly be traceable to a human like she was. Her eyes were tired and the lines of wrinkles around them and her lips showed her true age along with the greying hairs in her short auburn hair.

"I came to talk to you three about something... something I should have confessed to a long time ago." I admitted.

The lines in her frown deepened and finally some thoughts that weren't my own fluttered to mind. "I don't think that's needed." She said.

My brows furrowed. "Pardon me?"

The woman sighed and thoughts of apologies crossed her mind. "I'm not a stupid woman, my king. I know my husband donated sperm to science when we were down on our luck and we needed a few quick dollars, and I've read all about the laboratory you're from. I met my husband in high school, you know. Looking at you is like going back in time." She explained, although judging by her expression and quick precise thoughts she was displeased.

"So, you knew all along he was my father?" I questioned.

She shook her head, that frown turning to a scowl. "He's not your father, your grace, you simply share the same DNA." She pointed to the girls inside working at the counter inside, they waved and smiled at me. I waved back. "He was their father and will always be."

I nodded, my frozen heart aching. "I'd like him to be mine too." I murmured.

Again she shook her head. "Well, he's _not_ and clearly will never be. I am very grateful to you that you did the right thing by us and kept the truth to yourself. I'd like you to continue to do just that." She firmly requested.

It was my turn to shake my head. "I'd love to get to know them, have them become a part of my family and I theirs. They are princesses by blood after all – the palace will always be a second home for them."

The woman's gaze turned cross. "_My_ home is their second home." She hissed. "They don't need this, my king. They have husbands and babies to think of. They have a simple, but nice productive lives. They are very happy and all you will do is turn their lives upside down. They don't need to be in the public light, they won't want that. They don't need your palace, your family, or your money – they have everything they need. But, you're right, they are princesses, _my_ princesses, not the kingdom's. So, please, just do them a favour and go away – don't be selfish and ruin their lives because you feel left out."

* * *

_Point of View: Jacob  
_

Through the tinted window of the limousine that was parked alongside the curb outside the deli I watched my husband's head hang with the cunt's words. My Eddie looked a whole two seconds away from a public meltdown and of course I jumped out of the vehicle to comfort him. I glared furiously at the woman as I pulled my imprint into my arms and she all but cowered in her spot, most likely nearly pissing herself and I almost wished she would. I'd like to see her humiliated, if only for the reason I knew that's how Edward was feeling, along with devastated and countless other things.

Ed turned into me wrapping his arms around my waste and burying his face in the crook of my neck. I knew he had to be in agony. He was never the PDA kind of guy. He'd hold my hand in public, maybe a few quick pecks here and there, and a head on my shoulder in the park, but never this. He needed me and he clung to me like I was the last bit of hope in the world. I held him my arms so snugly around him while mentally telling him just how in love I was with him and how much the family he had at home loved him too. I told him he didn't need these people and that it was their loss, because it is... My husband is the most amazing man I know and if the woman is willing to pass up the opportunity for her and her daughters to get to know him, then fuck her.

Seriously, fuck her. "Fuck you." I snapped at the cow. I may be king, but I'm an immature king and if she wasn't a woman or a human I'd have hit her by now just on the premise of upsetting my imprint.

Her hazel eyes widened and she backed towards the deli's door. "I should get back to work." She breathed.

I nodded. "Yeah, do that. Fuck off." I growled, and she quickly turned her back to me and pulled the metal and glass door open, bells jangling. "Have a nice day with your king's sisters!" I snarled at her. With a gasp she hurried along inside and made her way back behind the counter. She put her apron back on, smoothing it out with her hands while her daughters questioned her while their eyes kept flicking over to where I held my Eddie. One of them scurried her way from around the counter and rushed her away across the deli with the door as her destination.

Her mother caught her halfway by her harm and tugged her back, clearly insisting that she leave the kings be. Arms were raised and tempers were rising – it seemed obvious that the younger woman did not like her mother upsetting his grace, as it should be.

I turned Eddie toward the limo and ushered him inside after opening the door for him. I told the driver to head home and I did what I was best at, I kissed my imprint's cool and soft mouth. He whimpered against my lips and I gripped his hair to force his mouth harder to mine to deepen the kiss. His tongue tasted sweet and it felt like nothing but perfection as it sensually glided against mine.

You'll never know how surprised I was to find out Edward had been keeping such a big secret from me for so long, yet it was impossible to mad. I couldn't possibly, not with his heart aching so much that it hurt mine. I don't know why he felt the need to keep things from me. Maybe he was trying to appear tough and didn't want to be seen as a man with weaknesses. My poor Ed, if only he understood that it takes the strongest kind of man to admit that he's weak.

I held no grudge. I'd never. I'm a weak man and one of my weaknesses just so happens to be my husband. He should know by now that there's not a thing in this world that he could do that would change a thing between us. I married him, for better or for worse, and no matter how bad it gets my love for that gorgeous seventeen-year-old vampire slave I fell for will never, fucking ever, go away, nor will my need for him. I hope he gets that now.

Our clothes were lost on the floor of the limo and where I sat on a leather seat Edward had straddled my waist, my cock buried deep between two pale cheeks. My hands were pressed firmly to his back while he held the sides of my neck as his lips kissed mine. For the first time in a long time we weren't just fucking, but were in fact making love. His kisses were gentle, careful, yet the need was there and the way his beautiful naked body moved with mine proved to me that it wasn't an orgasm he was seeking, it was affection.

Our hips moved slowly together and his hands slid into my hair while his lips began to tremble against mine. He was sorry, he was apologizing and I could just feel it. I knew him well enough that I could feel his remorse just by the way his body moved. I hoped he knew me well enough to know that I thought he had nothing to be sorry for and that the only person he should be apologizing to is himself, because he didn't let me down, I'm not the one he hurt... the only one he hurt is him.

When my imprint finally climaxed he cried out, the sound muffled by my lips against his. His fingers pulled at my roots, causing me the most pleasurable pain, yet the chill of his come against my stomach and the way his ass squeezed me while his orgasm gave him his bliss had my breath catching in my throat. My body gave over to the ecstasy of it all and I was rewarded with bliss of my own.

I languidly moaned, my mouth and tongue still to his and going nowhere soon. I let my hips rock on their own accord while I felt each and every little pleasurable feeling of releasing into Edward. His tightness around every inch of my length, the exciting coolness of it all, then the warmth of my seed filling him and coating the both of us. "Fuck, yes..." I breathed. God, it felt so good. There's just no possible way that there is anything better in this world than making love with your imprint. _Nothing_.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter Forty**

_Point of View: Ryan  
_

It all happened so fast. One minute their hands were on me the next I felt a sharp tug on my hair and they were bolting while Nahuel hollered as he came sprinting across the parking lot, dropping his coffee along the way. In the few seconds it took for him to get to me those mutts and that one leech were long gone around the far left side of the building. "Shit, fuck me..." Nahuel huffed as he came up in front of me. He quickly reached forward, his colourful arms covered by an old jean jacket displaying a few sewn on patches, and lifted the hood of my light green zip-up sweater over my head. "We'll get you fixed up, your highness."

I furrowed my thin brows, my heart still going a mile a minute. "Fixed up?" I breathed in question.

He scratched a hand uncomfortably over a tattoo on his neck as he pointed to the ground behind me with the other. "Your, uh, hair, my prince... is _all_ over the ground." I whipped around to see that indeed the length of my hair was being spread over the concrete by the slight breeze.

I slapped a hand to my mouth. "Oh my god!" I whined into my palm, and I'm sure it's no surprise that tears came falling shamelessly in rapid succession. "Why would they want to do that to me?"

Nahuel took an awkward step rearward while looking taken aback by my emotions. "Why does anybody do anything shitty to another?" He asked as he pulled a pack of cigarettes from the breast pocket of his jacket and took one out with his teeth and ignited the thing with a lighter he took from his pants pocket with his other hand. After he put the pack and lighter back in their proper places, he grabbed the cigarette from between his lips with his thumb and index finger that had a big bold 'F' between the first and second knuckle.

I shrugged with tears streaming my cheeks. "I don't know." I mumbled.

The wolf shrugged as well. "Me neither. They just do, but it's not worth crying over."

My green eyes widened and I rubbed away my tears with both hands. "But, my hair!" I whimpered.

Nahuel gave me a tiny smile and pulled me off the curb as he slung his arm lazily around my shoulder and started to lead me across the parking lot while he continued to suck on is cigarette. "So, if your hair is that important to you what part of you would you have preferred to have lost, huh?"

"Nothing! I don't want to lose anything." I quietly cried. "They shouldn't have done that!"

He gave me a roll of his eyes like my attitude annoyed him. "That just wasn't in the cards for you, my prince, besides people will be taking things from you all your damn life whether you like it or not. You best toughen up or this world will chew you up and spit you out."

I frowned as we made it to the end of the parking lot and to a busy intersection. He pressed the button at the crosswalk with the same tattooed hand he held his cigarette in. "I am tough." I said it like I meant it, although I'm not so sure I did.

"You have nerves of steel under those soppy tears of yours, do ya?" Nahuel asked while he squished the butt of his smoke with the toe of his worn black leather boot, and he looked down at me to meet my gaze – the top of my head reaching about the tip of his nose. His silvery-blue eyes were daunting up close and personal and I felt looking into them was almost like looking out at the ocean, you just don't know what either has been around long enough to witness.

I nodded my head in agreement. "I really am tough." I wasn't sure who I was trying to convince, him or me.

The wolf gave me a soft smile that really didn't fit his appearance. "You sure?"

I perked a brow as the walk sign came flashing and he lead me into the road. "You say that like you know me."

"No way, your highness." He said with a chuckle. "I don't know a thing about you besides the fact that you're about as useless with tools as they come."

"I'm sure there could be worse." I insisted as we reached the other side of the road and stepped onto the sidewalk.

"No offence, your highness, and I say this with all due respect, but my five-year-old niece could probably teach ya a thing or two." He said with light laugh while he guided me in the direction of a bunch of shops along the walkway to the right. He pointed to a sign ahead indicating a barber shop. "I know you're probably used to washing your hair with mermaid's blood and having it trimmed with the teeth of sabre-tooth tigers, but I know the owner of this place and I'd trust him with scissors around my dick."

I shook my head at him. "Mermaids blood, really?" I chuckled.

Nahuel shrugged and smirked. "Seems outlandish enough for a prince, doesn't it?" The wolf dropped his arm from me and used it to open the barbershop door. I was about to walk in, though he caught me by my arm. "Dry your face." He whispered. "Prince or not, the guys in here won't let you live it down if they see those."

* * *

I sat in the leather barbershop chair just staring at my reflection. It was pathetic, but I had probably been doing it for a good ten minutes. It was all gone, every bit of it and I felt naked. I wanted my hair back. I have never once had short hair, yet now I had it cropped short much like Paul and my father's hair – it was short on the sides with a little length up top that the barber, who genuinely appears to be a hardened criminal, made a little messy and stylish with a bit of gel.

Nahuel came up behind me with a loud boisterous laugh and slapped a hand onto my shoulder. "Look at you, who knew there was one handsome lad under those pretty locks of yours!" He joyfully exclaimed. "Did Laurent do a good job or what?!"

I gazed at Laurent's reflection in the mirror who stood about a yard back. He had a scowl on his chocolaty coloured face and his crimson eyes glared coldly at me as he crossed his muscled and heavily tattooed arms over his ribs. He appeared to be about twenty-three, maybe only twenty-two, but I dare say he'd shank me if I said anything but praise. "Er, yes, wonderful really, though, Nahuel, _me_, handsome? Seriously?" I questioned. Laurent rolled those red eyes of his and shook his head at my words, his dreadlocks brushing over his shoulders as he did.

The wolf nodded with a grin. "Fuck yes, my prince, you're going to have guards beating the girls off you with sticks."

Again the vampire rolled his eyes, this time at Nahuel and he dropped his hands to his sides, sticking them in his pockets of the baggy jeans he wore. "Ya fool," He said. "His highness don't wanna hear none of that."

The wolf gave him an incredulous look in the mirror. "Why the hell not?" He shifted his eyes to the reflection of mine. "How old are you?"

"Um," Who the heck doesn't know their princes age? "Seventeen."

"Yeah!" He said with a firm nod and a squeeze of my shoulder. "I bet all he thinks about is pussy." If by pussy he means Paul's dick...

Laurent quirked a brow. "Shit, Nahuel, get your head outta your ass, will ya? Goddamn! The prince is a candy ass queer."

The wolf laughed. "No way!" He looked down at me in the chair. "You don't pork dudes, do ya?"

I felt my cheeks burst with embarrassment. "To put it _mildly_, yes, I do. Well, will, and just one dude. Not plural. I have a mate, but we're taking it slow." Was this all too much information? I don't know. I'd rather them think of me as virgin than envision me having hot gay sex, they don't really seem the type to appreciate such a thing.

The grin on Nahuel's face faded into a soft smile and the hand on my shoulder moved to further mess up my _short_ hair. "Too cute." He chuckled and my eyes just about bugged out of my face. Cute? Gay is cute?

Laurent looked to have about the same expression on his face. "Cute, huh? Goin' to that pride shit again this year, Nuelly?" He questioned.

The wolf laughed as he turned around to view Laurent and with a slight stretch of my legs I got out of the chair to stand beside him while running a few fingers through my hair trying to get used to the feel of it. "Admit it you had a fucking blast! Plus, I see that kid we went with 'round here all the time now – he has such a hard on for you and you know it!" He guffawed.

"Naw, man, you got it all twisted. Kid's got it rough and _you know it_, we've got his back here and there ain't nothin' else to it."

Nahuel smirked. "Besides the fact that you've got his back in more ways than one." He quipped.

In less than a blink of an eye Laurent's face turned into a look of rage and he launched himself forward and off his feet. He crashed into Nahuel, though clipped my shoulder – knocking me over the barber chair and face first onto the tile floor. He grabbed the wolf by the front of his jean jacket, lifted his feet off the ground and threw him against the large mirror attached to the wall, obliterating it completely. Nahuel fell awkwardly onto the shelf beneath where the mirror once was and onto the shards of it, knocking over two glass cylindrical containers holding a blue liquid and combs to the floor causing them to smash and splash me as I pulled myself into a sitting position while I held my bloody nose.

The vampire furiously shook his head as he ripped the wolf from the shelf, once again holding the front of his coat. "Punk ass white boy thinks he's funny..." He hissed and one of his hands snapped to the wolf's neck and I hauled myself to my feet, bloody, but ready to phase if need be. "Think you're funny now?" He growled in a near yell.

Nahuel shook his head. "The only clown around here I see is you." He nonchalantly remarked. Laurent's hands slackened as he gave a little twitch of the eye in disbelief and the wolf smirked returned. "You fight like a girl." He laughed, and with that statement made his right fist came up with a big F-U-C-K across the knuckles and slammed them against the vampire's left cheek right beside his full red lips. Laurent's head flew to the side and in those few seconds Nahuel gripped the vampire's dreadlocks close to the roots and viciously dragged his head downwards with strength I wouldn't even bother to wish for and collided the dark skinned nose of Laurent's face with his knee.

With a pained yelp the vampire stumbled backward and Nahuel took that moment to kick the bottom of his worn boot into his stomach and when Laurent fell onto his ass, body leaning to the side, the wolf with the opposite foot slammed his boot into the vampire's face, hurling his body the other way and flat onto the floor. "I, on the other paw, don't." He deadpanned.

"What tha fuck, man?..." Laurent moaned from the floor with his face nothing but a cracked and lined mess. Nahuel motioned for me to come over to him and I felt it smart to do as was requested. With a few quick strides I reached him and he put an arm around my shoulders, drawing me near and holding me in a comforting, yet slightly protective manner while I kept my bloody nose covered.

The wolf glared down at the vampire. "The punch was for putting your cold goddamn hands on me, the knee to the face was for shoving the prince, the foot to the gut was for his bloody nose, and the boot to the face was for calling him a candy ass queer." He paused to suck in a breath, turned his head to me and offered up a ghost of smile. "Ready to go?" He queried and I nodded my head yes.

Nahuel wasted no time hauling me past the counter where the cash register sat and out the door where a bunch of guys that were just as tattooed and intimidating as the wolf and Laurnt stood smoking. They had been inside when I arrived, though almost as quickly as I came in they went out. Nahuel bumped fists with a few of them. "See you boy's tonight?" He cheerfully asked and with round of yeahs he grinned. "Fuckin', eh! Food and booze is on the house, tell Laurent to bring his own martini if he plans on getting wasted, though."

With a few cracked smiles and another round of yeahs Nahuel led me away, yet we only got a few feet away before someone shouted in our direction. "Yo, your highness!" I cringed, though only because I figured some slur was going to come after it. Nahuel dropped his arm from me and turned around, I followed suit. The biggest wolf in the group, clearly an alpha which I had purposely made an effort not to look at seconds prior stepped forward. Now, with the four other wolves standing behind him I could easily see that they were a pack and he was definitely an admired leader since I could see the look of love in each of his wolves' eyes as the gazed at the back of him.

The wolf flicked his lit cigarette into the street with a crooked smile on his face. His eyes were dark, virtually black as he stared at me and his hands went to the hem of his grey muscle shirt. He tugged the cotton over his head, revealing russet washboard abs and plenty of dark inked tattoos. "My prince," He said while his crooked smile shifted into a friendly grin as he tossed the material my way causing me to pull my bloody hands away from my nose to catch it. "You've got a little somethin' on your face."

Feeling stunned I more than likely blushed into the shirt as I pressed it to my face. "Thank you." I mumbled into the fabric.

* * *

Nahuel took me into a small, but quaint ice cream parlour a few blocks away so I could use the restroom to clean myself up and when I emerged as good as new, minus the fact that my hair had yet to grow back, all I had to do was follow the heavy scent of cigarette smoke to find the wolf sitting at one of the few booths with a strawberry milkshake in front of him and chocolate one placed across the table for me.

I sat down and gazed at the cigarette in his tattooed hand. "I don't think you're allowed to do that in here." I told him as I looked around the place to see an older gentleman glaring this way from behind the counter and a human family hurrying their two young kids and infant out of the door to get some fresh air.

He took a puff of his cigarette and shook his head with a smokey chuckle. "The guy behind the counter, the manager, he won't say a thing. He was practically cowering in his little brown loafers when I ordered these." He explained as he pointed between the two milkshakes with his free index finger.

"If the rules say no smoking, then you shouldn't." I insisted.

The wolf gave me a rude smile. "The rules!" He loudly laughed. "It's a free kingdom – I'll smoke when I wanna smoke."

I furrowed my brows as I felt an unsuspected burst of anger since the stray wolf didn't listen to me. "Not in here you won't!" I snapped while snatching the cigarette right from between his two lips and stuck the smoking tip of it right through the whipped cream topping and into his strawberry milkshake.

His silvery eyes widened and that rude smirk turned into a giddy grin. "Duly noted, alpha wolf." I couldn't tell if he was mocking me or being serious. For the sake of my low self-esteem I chose the latter.

I grabbed a spoon off a paper napkin and ate the whipped cream from the top of shake... it was delicious. "So, is Laurent actually gay?" I questioned just before I took a sip of the chocolatey goodness.

"What?!" Nahuel said with a huff of breathy laughter. "Not a chance! I was just screwing with him. Know that niece I spoke of?" I nodded. "Yeah, Laurent's her father, he had her a year before he was changed – he's also my wife's older brother. That kid I was bugging him about, we, Laurent, and Randall - that alpha you just met, saw him get his ass beat. We were dicks and didn't intervene, figured he deserved it, ya know? We were wrong, he was just some queer human kid that had pissed off some wannabe thugs for being himself. He's quite the flamboyant character, overly so.

"Anyway, the poor guy had to go to the hospital, we went with him... we felt fuckin' terrible, responsible in a way. The kid was mortified and blabbered about how he was going to be 'normal' from then on. The boys and I rallied as many of us as we could get together and took him to the pride parade the following week. I seriously think it meant the world to that kid, you know, havin' all of us there for him, even if we were all strangers. We were sure out of our element, I mean, you've seen us, but it was cool, it was a bitchin' excuse to slap on a pair of leather short-shorts and dance like a fool in public."

I burst out in laughter. "Did you actually?"

"Hell ya!" Nahuel guffawed. He pulled off his jean jacket, throwing it beside him and stood up beside the table. He proceeded to lift up the hem of his navy blue t-shirt that had the sleeves cut off and pointed to a little rainbow flag to the right of and just below his navel, which blended nicely with other images around it. "My body is my canvas, and my memory bank. Whatever I get stuck in my head I get stuck on my body." He smiled then explained a few things around it and sat back down.

I took a sip of my shake and ran my fingertips along the F-U-C-K on his knuckles. "So, you got FUCK stuck in your head?" I queried.

He frowned at the tattoo and lifted his hand off the tabletop to better look at it. "I was just a pup when I got it..." Well, that turned his mood upside down. "It was my first one."

"Stupid mistake then?"

The wolf shook his head. "No... it just reminds me of someone really special that I lost." He sadly informed me and gave me a depressing smile.

I wrapped a hand around Nahuel's, covering up the tattoo and pulled it to the middle of the table. "Was this your best friend?"

The wolf sighed and shook his hand free from mine. "Something like that. Here, look..." He turned his back to me and rose to his knees on his seat as she pulled up the back of his shirt. "This is my hero." He tugged his shirt up all the way to the back of his neck to show a portrait of a shifted wolf that appeared strikingly familiar.

Nahuel gazed over his shoulder at me. "I never actually got to see him in his wolf form, but I had him describe what he looked like for me. I always thought silvery fur and black eyes sounded so beautiful for a wolf. I hope I did him justice – I drew him exactly how pictured him."

My eyes widened as I took in the picture. I'm sure there are millions of silvery wolves like Paul, but that's who I felt like I was staring into the eyes of. "You drew that?!" I asked.

He nodded. "Mhmm, my brother does all the tattooing for me, but I do all the drawings. We're both kinda artsy fartsy people." He informed me, yet I still couldn't take my eyes of the tattoo. It took up Nahuel's entire back and showed the silvery wolf sitting on a sandy beach, wavy water behind him with the reflection of the moon along it, however what appeared to be stars in the clear night sky, wasn't. When I leaned a little closer I could see that they were names – tons of tiny yellowy-white names.

"Why all the names?" I queried.

Nahuel let go of his shirt to cover himself back up. "They're his demons." He murmured as he righted himself in his seat.

I frowned at this. "That's a lot of demons..." I breathed. "What happened to him?"

The wolf scrubbed his hands over his face and again sighed. "Sometimes I think he's gotta be dead and sometimes I hope he is."

My thin brows furrowed and I cocked my head. "Why would hope for something like that?"

Nahuel's eyes caught mine. "Because this world doesn't deserve someone like him, not after everything it did to him. He mentioned once that he prayed every night before he fell asleep that an angel would come and save him. If there's anybody who deserves an angel, it's Paul." With that four letter name spoken I choked and sputtered on my milkshake. I roughly shoved it away causing it to fall over and I grabbed a napkin to clean the chocolate ice cream that was currently leaking from my nose.

The wolf chuckled, his brief dark mood brightening. "Whoa there, your highness, no dying on me!"

"Sorry." I apologized. "I wouldn't do that. Goodness knows what my dad would do to you if he thought you had any part in it." Coincidences... I had to remind myself that the world was full of them.

"Well," Nahuel breathed as he looked over at an analog clock that hung on the wall behind the counter. "I better get home to the missus, we've got big plans for the night. You're welcome to come of course, it'll be quite the party – I have a feeling you'd be very uncomfortable, though."

I gave the wolf a friendly smirk. "Is that your way of inviting me because you feel like you have to and also your way of telling me I shouldn't come?"

His silvery-blue eyes widened and he gave his head a fervent shake. "Hell no, my prince, it'd be an honour having you there! I'm just sayin' that the boys are wild ones and won't treat you like the prince you are." He explained.

I quirked a brow. "What will they treat me like?" A disease?

Nahuel smiled. "Like one of the boys! They'll love you so long as you're able to let loose and have fun. You can even bring that mate of yours if you want." He suggested, yet there was no way I would be inviting Paul. For one I wouldn't know how to explain Nahuel to him, for two I didn't for a second think he'd think his imprint should be at a party with 'these kinds' of people.

"He's busy tonight..." I lied, although he did have his appointment and Katie.

"But are you?" He queried. No, not technically, but I knew my parents would never agree to this, which meant I couldn't ask them, which meant going behind their backs, which meant there was potential for me getting in big, _big_ trouble.

"I can come over, maybe help you set up a bit. I really can't stay much past dinner time or my dad will go ballistic wondering where I am."

The wolf grinned. "I should warn you though; the boys might not let you leave. It's not every day we have prince come party with us."

"Oh, no, no, no!" I exclaimed disagreement. "There will be no partying on my part."

The wolf's grin turned wicked. "We'll see about that."


	41. Chapter 41

**Well, isn't this long overdue! Sorry, I'd ask you to forgive me, but you might refuse after you're done reading this chapter.  
**

**Warning: **Like, blood and stuff, ew!**  
**

* * *

**Chapter Forty-one  
**

_Point of View: James  
_

I gazed over at Paul as some girl tried to chat him up. We both sat perched on stools at some bar Paul brought me to so I could drink my sorrows away – that, or puke them up in the morning. As I chugged the rest of my beer I flicked my eyes over a few inches and glared at the she-wolf while I wished for her to _fuck right off_! But, did I get my way? Hell no, instead Paul said something entirely unfunny that caused her to giggle and touch his arm. Casually he brushed her hand away and I ended up rolling my eyes when she put it right back on him.

It was kind of ridiculous the amount of female attention the wolf received so far tonight. Someone trying to get in my pants would feel pretty good right about now and for all I care they could look like Quasimodo – I'd just like someone to appreciate my devilish good looks. Anyway, it's not like I'm looking for a fuck, I'm still a virgin. It's not exactly something I'm about to go brag about at the ripe old age of nineteen, but I wasn't about to have sex just to have sex. Love, it's got to be about that good old fashioned thing called love, and if it wasn't about that I could have long since slept with Charlie. I contemplated it enough times, sure, especially in the heat of the moment. I know he'd feel amazing and he practically begged for my cock on more than one occasion, though I couldn't, I just couldn't. It was nothing against him – I just wasn't willing to take his virginity so we could get our rocks off. He deserved so much more than that.

I still couldn't believe the level of low I sunk to. I felt guilty every time I looked at Paul. I begged for his imprint... I begged for his imprint to be with me right in front of his fucking face. I swear I needed to get that stuff out of me, though. I couldn't keep it all bottled up inside. I needed to explode and bear my soul to the boy I loved so I could get the finality of a big fat 'it's never gonna happen, James'. As much as I didn't want to hear it, I needed that no. For months now I've been stuck in a rut between the vampire and the wolf, and if it counts for anything I really do want to be with Charlie. When I'm in a room with Ryan and my vampire I legitimately can't take my eyes off Charlie long enough to even glance in the prince's direction. It's just this horrid beating thing in my chest that hollers for Ryan with each thump of it, but my mind isn't so stupid, not at fucking all. My brain wants the vampire in every sense of the word, yet the daft thing beneath my ribs wants the wolf – my dick, however, is split 50/50.

Maybe I'm a little melodramatic, but I'd sooner get hit by a bus than choose to feel this way. I just got to tell myself that I did everything I could and I have nothing to regret. No matter how stupid I know it is, I still love the prince and there's just no good reason for it, it's not like he's even that great of a catch. He's not the most beautiful, because believe me he's got _nothing_ on my vampire. Ryan's not the smartest, without the help of Charlie I'd be failing all my online courses. He's definitely not the kindest, that's Charlie, he truthfully has a heart of gold and I don't doubt that that vampire would do anything for me. Ryan doesn't even want to love me and Charlie does love me... maybe, I think. He might. I have the slightest little smidgen of an inkling that I might mean a lot to him. I want to mean a lot to him since I care for Charlie, I care a ton for him. I'd honestly jump in front of bullet for that vampire, which is completely illogical since I'm human and 100% mortal. That would be a bloody mess! No pun intended.

There has got to be something wrong with me. Ryan could never be what I wanted nor could I be for him, so why am I wishing for something that would never work when I have such an amazingly wonderful boy willing to take me for who I am? There's got be a million and one reasons why the wolf would never love me or want me, though I bet if I asked Charlie he could list a million and one reasons why he thinks I'm perfect for him.

He gets me, you know. There have been multiple times when I've felt really down on myself and generally just feeling worthless, yet I had been smiling and laughing away nonetheless. If we're with others Charlie would lean in close to me and give me a sweet little kiss on the cheek, his silky soft lips would then slide along my jawline until I could feel his cool needless breath on my ear and he'd whisper things like 'How did I get so lucky?' and 'Such a handsome human'.

I've got to believe I'm better off now than I'd ever be with Ryan. Also, I hadn't seen either boys going on four days now and admittedly, it wasn't the prince I was missing – it was my vampire. I wanted him back in my arms, I missed his chilly lips on me and the way they caused goosebumps to rise on my skin, and I was just dying to have him hold me like he never wanted to let go like he so often did. Yet, now I hardly felt deserving of him. I was supposed to be faithful to him and what do I go and do? Beg for Ryan behind his back. I'm a fucking asshole!

I pushed my empty glass away from me and ordered a rum and coke with double the rum. I wasn't getting drunk enough fast enough, and with little miss slut all over Paul I felt like I needed to be. "You should come sit with me and my friends." She suggested while she flirtatiously curled her dark hair around a copper finger.

Paul once again brushed her hand off his arm. "Sorry, I'm here with my friend." He informed her.

The girl smiled brightly as she looked around the bar. "Where is he? He can join too." I prayed to God almighty that Paul didn't let it be known that I was the friend he was speaking about.

The wolf gave her a charming smile and he reached out his arm to give my shoulder a squeeze. "This is James." He said, and just like that her pretty smile vanished right from her equally pretty face. Thanks, _Paul_.

"Actually, forget about it." She awkwardly laughed. "It's supposed to be a girls night anyway." Ah, sweet, _sweet_, rejection. You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but it hurts like fuck every time.

Paul sighed a sigh of relief and tugged me close and wrapped an arm around me along with lightly playing with my blond hair that was tied behind my head. I fought the urge to stare at him incredulously, but drank instead while I wrapped my own arm around him. "Oh, good, I was afraid I'd have to be a let down – the two of us would prefer to be left alone. Believe it or not, Mariah, it's our one and half year anniversary!" He quite happily stated and I found my eyes widening, yet decided to play along and after I finished up my drink I rested my head on Paul's comfy shoulder.

The she-wolf's jaw slightly dropped. "Wow, um, I thought you meant he was _just _your friend... and, my name is Marissa, _not_ Mariah."

Paul chuckled and gave me kiss on the forehead. "That's what I said, _Melissa_." Her mouth closed and her jaw tightened as another wrong name passed his lips. "As for my Jamie, slip of the tongue, sorry, boyfriend – fiance really, but nothing is official." With a silly drunken smile on my face I nuzzled my nose into the crook of Paul's neck. His skin was incredibly warm and the light sent of his expensive cologne was utterly relaxing. I could honestly see why Ryan couldn't get enough of this wolf... as it turns out I don't think I could ever get too much of Charlie. Fuck my life, I'm such an idiotic douche bag, how the hell was I supposed to ever convince my vampire to give me another chance?

The she-wolf stood up from her bar stool with an ugly frown marring her pleasant features. "Marissa, my name is Marissa, and you should have told me you were gay to keep me from wasting my time!" She complained with an irritating whine in her tone. The sound of it made me thankful I was attracted to the same sex – if I was lucky I could avoid ever having to deal with something like that.

I gave the side of my hubby to be a squeeze as he began to appear annoyed. "In that case you should have let me know you're straight. If anything you wasted _my_ time... and here I thought we could have had quite an intellectual and stimulating conversation about the persecutions and prosecutions of LGBT historical figures along with discussing the impact they have on society today."

"Do I look like a dyke to you?!" She exclaimed.

Paul laughed and gave her a smirk. "Do you really want me to answer that?" He queried. Truthfully, she looked like stuck up snobby cow, not a lesbian, but it was nice to see my fiance fucking with her for being so needlessly rude just because I'm either ugly or human... or both, who knows.

She shook her head and let out a huff of breath. "You're a dick!" She irritatingly bitched.

A very sincere and apologetic look formed on Paul's face and he gave me yet another little kiss, though this time on my cheek. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you. You're a very beautiful woman, Clarissa."

The she-wolf's eyes widened with anger and I had to press my mouth to Paul's shirt to stifle my snicker. "Marissa! It's Marissa!" She yelled, causing a few heads to turn our way. I felt awkward being all cuddled up to the prince's boyfriend and the guy I called my brother with more than one set of eyes on us. I just hoped nobody recognized him – the last thing I want to be a part of is some scandalous affair. I can see the headlines now: **Two-Timing Paul Lahote Porks a Human. **Wouldn't that just be the icing on the cake? I'm sure I'd win back Charlie with that one in no time.

Paul happily chortled and that charming smile returned to his lips. "No need to yell, I heard you the first time."

With a loud exaggerated sigh the she-wolf turned her back to us and stormed off to the other end of the bar while I untangled myself from Paul and gave him a thankful smile. "You're the best boyfriend ever!" I joyfully slurred, although the slur was rather accidental.

The wolf laughed and gave me a playful punch on the arm, though despite him trying to be gentle and the alcohol coursing through my veins it hurt. "You're drunk! But, you're welcome anyways." He shook his head and ordered two more of whatever I had been drinking before turning back to me. "Did you see the way she looked at you just because you're human, you know, like you weren't good enough or some shit? What a cunt! What a fucking cunt!"

I grinned at the wolf and lazily chuckled. "Keepin' it classy there, Paul, and you say I'm drunk!"

He grinned right back and picked up his drink the bartender had just dropped off and I did the same with mine. "I wasn't sipping water over here, quite the contrary. I'm positive any man that ends up with that broad will become a liverless alcoholic." He laughed, albeit a little darkly. He took a swig of his drink and got a little stunned by all the rum in it, though gave me a quirky smirk and took another.

I downed about half of mine and cocked a brow. "You really are a dick." I deadpanned.

Paul shrugged and offered up a friendly smile. "Whatever, I'm sure she'd be a sweet girl if she was less like herself."

I shook my head. "_Dick_..." I breathed, then had a mouthful of my rum and coke.

Again Paul laughed. "Sorry, I really am a nice guy, I swear! Either blame the booze or the fact that she's a downright bitch!" My brows rose with his comment and it actually scared me to think about the mouth the wolf must have on him when he goes out drinking most Friday's with those pricks we used to work with. "Hell, James, don't look so surprised. Do you really think I don't form opinions on people?"

It was my turn to shrug. "Not mean ones." I teased.

"Ha, then you're deluding yourself! Just because I've learnt how to act like things are all warm and fuzzy doesn't mean I actually think they are." The wolf tapped the side of his head and lowered his voice. "My mind's a shitstorm and it's cluster fuck after cluster fuck of negative thoughts. Sometimes when I'm playing with Katie I'm stuck trying my damnedest to keep on smiling while on the inside I'm shrieking at the top of my lungs because of the things I get trapped in my head. I've found it's a lot easier to control the outside, but the inside, nah, that's not so easy." He took the last mouthful of his drink and handed over his credit card to the bartender to pay off our tab.

Paul sighed while he signed his name across the dotted line and after handing the receipt back and sticking his card back in his wallet he turned his eyes to me. "Have you ever had someone say something that sounds so farfetched and ridiculous, yet the more you hear it, the more realistic it sounded?" He asked.

"I don't know, man... What's bothering you?"

The wolf sadly frowned. "I'm terrified of going backwards. I keep telling myself I'd never let it happen and that I could never possibly be without Ryan, but I still get those old thoughts, ones that tell me loving the prince the way I do is wrong and that I'm a sick man because of the things I've done with him. There are times... shit..." His voice quavered and he quickly pressed at his eyes to avoid the flow of tears. When he eventually dropped them back to his lap his depressing brown eyes clung to mine. "There are times, Jamie, that I wish I either died in prison or killed myself when I got out so I could have saved myself from all this pain and Ryan from the imprint. I think that would have been the right thing to do, and if that were the case I bet he would have loved you in all the ways you've always dreamt about. With you I know he'd be safe, I know you'd never hurt him, I even know you'd be better for him. I can picture you two together, you know, but me and him..." He shook his head. "No."

I fought the urge to roll my eyes, not because I thought what the wolf was saying was stupid – I thought he was stupid. "Look," I sighed. "You're stupid and you need to wise the fuck up. I get that you doubt yourself, and I definitely get the fake it until you make it approach, but you don't need to doubt yourself because you've already made it. You're one tough cookie, Paul, but you jumped into everything so fast. One day you were living at the palace as a scared little puppy and the next you were a full grown wolf house hunting with a mate to think about. You've done a fuck ton in a tiny amount of time and you could very well be overwhelming yourself, yet there are two things I'm certain about, A: you'd never hurt Ryan, and B: he'd never love me whether you ever existed or not."

"We aren't mates, but I do love him nonetheless. I feel guilty saying this to you since I know you feel the same way, yet you got to know I love that wolf so damn much, James, sometimes I feel like I have to be insane for how much I really do. Though, even with that said I know what I was like and how easy it was to be stuck in my memories. I feel like I'm fighting a battle that can't be won and I'm just not getting anywhere – it'd honestly be less exhausting and simpler to give up and give in to all my shitty feelings. Some days that's all I really want to do."

"But, you won't." I firmly told him. "If not for Ryan then for me. If you went back to your old ways who the hell would take care of me like you do? Do you understand how loved and special you make me feel?" Fuck, fuck, fuck. So long as I don't end up crying in the middle of the bar I figure I'd still have my dignity – the damn wolf ought to hear this. "I love you." I painstakingly confessed. "You're everything I wish Eric was."

The wolf gave me a bittersweet smile and shuffled his bar stool right beside mine. "You're right, I won't." He said while he took hold of my hand that was in my lap. "I don't know how the fuck it happened, yet you have become one of the most important people to me and I swear that I'm always going to be here to care for you. We're family, maybe not by blood, though that means nothing to me – no matter what you do there's not a chance in hell I'd ever turn my back on you, but... Eric _is_ your real brother and I don't want to hear you say that stuff about him. Yeah, he's a bit of a nut and makes it seem like I've got my shit together, and I know he's let you down on countless occasions, but you've got to admit he was there when you needed him the most."

As I thought about what Paul said the bartender tried to inconspicuously stare at us. I guess it's not every day two guys come in here, get a little drunk, and have a heart to heart. The wolf was right though, my brother really was there the day I needed him the most – it was the day our mother left us. I might have only been four at the time, but I can remember her so clearly that morning. The tears in her eyes, the colour of her shirt, even the smell of her perfume. She wasn't the most beautiful woman in the world, though she definitely wasn't plain either.

She had the most impossible dirty blonde hair, which was always held in braid behind her. I used to laugh at her hair because I thought it was funny when it was loose, it was such a frizzy mess and I once compared it to a clowns. She cried when I said that and Eric yelled at me for it. She was a sensitive woman, but I didn't know I was being mean. She also had pale blue eyes and fair peachy skin along with thin lips and a nose that blended and fit with her face nicely. Like I said, she wasn't a stunner, yet she was my momma and in my eyes the most beautiful woman in the world. Eric doesn't resemble our mother like I do, I'd say the only two traits he got from her was a goofy childlike smile when he gets excited, and as his hair grows the curlier it gets.

My mother obsessed over Eric to an extent that it was unhealthy for the both of them. She called him her alpha wolf, just like Ryan calls him his – I wouldn't doubt that's why my brother loves it so much when he does. She kissed him more than she should, hugged him more than was needed, and touched him in ways that were completely unnecessary. I yearned for the same attention, yet more often than not felt forgotten about. Although, when I look back maybe I was the lucky one. I can remember him kissing her lips and letting his linger, of course I was innocent enough to think that I wanted those same kind of kisses from them too. I worry sometimes that momma might have done inappropriate things with Eric. I want to think she wouldn't since the last she saw him he was twelve... and still her son, but god only knows and I certainly don't have the guts to ask him. I mean, how in the fuck would I bring something like that up? Whatever, I have no interest in doing so, but I really do think she's the reason he's such an attention seeker.

He always, _always_ feels that he needs constant attention and appreciation – if you pay any sort of mind to him you'd notice it quickly. First he had momma, then me, then Lauren who drove him out of his fucking mind and continues to do from the goddamn grave, after that Riley, and then back to me. When we lived at the flat together he was happy to share a bed with me and he honestly didn't for a second know boundaries. I'm his grown ass little brother, it's not cute to wake up with the guy spooning me. Yet, for him I fucking did it, and you want to know why? Because I wished for years for so many things from him, but never got a damn one and I didn't have the heart to do the same thing in return since I know how much it hurts to feel unwanted.

I'd let him cuddle and nuzzle me, and I'd even play with his hair just the way momma did since I knew he loved it so much. It felt all sorts of uncomfortable for me, but all I wanted was to make him feel happy and loved just like how I wanted to feel. I figured if I could do that he'd for sure love me too, yet as it turns out and as I should have known all along I still wasn't enough for him – he was all over Paul and Emily the first chance he got. And, now, now he's _all _over Ryan, even going as far to call him his alpha. What a fucking joke! I knew Eric was desperate, though I never knew he was so desperate for affection that he'd turn himself into something he's not, an omega. Yet, no matter what he does, intentional or not, that hurts me I feel like I just don't have the right to ever be angry with him. I feel like I owe him my damn life, and that all goes back to the day momma left.

Our mother was not a rich woman, not by a long shot and more often than not we were sleeping in her wooden panelled station wagon, but when she had a little extra cash we'd spend a night or two in a shabby motel – those were always my favourite nights, I loved to watch the cartoons on the television. It was those times I'd get a bath, which more often than not Eric gave me, which I also loved. He also made sure I had bubbles and fuck did I ever love those things, still do to be completely honest. Charlie's mother has a jacuzzi tub and we... well that's beside the point. It still makes me feel a little awkward knowing that his mom uses the thing after what we did in there. I have to say it was because of that afternoon I never again thought of Ryan when the vampire was getting me off.

Anyway, those nights at a motel Eric and I often got to share a soda from the vending machine. I think it's safe to say he hogged most of it, but I loved those bubbles too. Momma would always get a room with only one single bed since it was the cheapest. Every time she'd sleep with Eric all snuggled up to her – I don't want to make it sound like they made me sleep on the floor like some dog, because that's just not the case. I happily passed out on the floor watching television with a nice warm blanket wrapped around me and a soft comfy pillow under my head, or at least that's what I tell myself.

The last time I ever felt her hands on me she had lifted me up and put me on the end of the bed with my backpack that had a spare set of clothes inside. She put her hands on my shoulders while she cried and gave them each a little squeeze. "It'll be like we never knew each other, okay? I'll forget you and you'll forget me, and we'll never ever be sad." She quietly whispered through her tears. I hadn't a clue what she was talking about and Eric was just as confused as me, though still helped carry out the bags to the car while leaving me behind inside the motel room

I hopped off the bed and scurried over to the patched up loveseat that sat beneath an open window to spy on my family and see if momma would say why she's crying. I peeked through the dusty old yellowing lacy curtains and watched them pack the bags in the car that was parked in front of the curb just past the sidewalk ahead of the motel room. Eric, a worrywart when it came to momma, kept pressing her about why she was upset and eventually she admitted to finding a man, an alpha wolf, to take care of us. Apparently he had a nice house right beside a lake with a rope swing that we were going to love.

My little fingers had to have gone completely white since I was gripping the windowsill so tightly. I knew four things were for certain: A man for momma meant a daddy for me, a house meant a home, a lake meant swimming, and a swing meant fun! However, it wasn't until the two of them got into the car and it came to a rumbling start that I realized they were forgetting something. Eric was quick to jump out of the car as it started rolling back while questioning momma in exclamation if she'd lost her mind and heatedly told her that she had left me in the room.

She hissed for him to get back in the car and that they couldn't bring me to their new home because the kind alpha wolf only wanted him for a son. "Then we aren't going!" He cried.

"Get in the fucking car, Eric!" She hollered at him.

With widened eyes Eric shook his head in disbelief. "Ma, you can't be serious! We're not leaving Jamie!"

Momma's blue eyes softened and appeared pleading. "Don't you want a big house with expensive things and your very own bedroom that you can see the water from? Wouldn't that be perfect?" She queried, or tried to bribe.

He fervently shook his head. "No way, not without my little brother." He insisted.

"But, he'll get a perfect home too. The cleaning ladies will find him and send him off to live with a brand new family that will love him more than we ever could. You want that for him, don't you?"

Eric's jaw dropped as he gazed at our mother through the rolled down passenger side window. "Are you stupid or do you think I'm stupid? Nobody will ever want him, nobody wants a human kid! Apparently not even their own human mothers do either!"

In a fury momma put the car in neutral and heaved on the emergency before she got out of the vehicle and stomped around to the other side of it. She ripped open the passenger side door and grabbed onto Eric's arm. "Just get in the goddamn car, Eric!" She shouted as she tried to push him inside.

My brother ripped his arm away from her. "We're not leaving him!" He bellowed. Roughly, momma reached upward and latched onto Eric's hair to pull him down in an effort to shove him into the vehicle. "Get off me!" He screamed while he hit her away. She yelped in pain and clasped onto her forearm where Eric had slapped – he may have only been twelve, but he was a good foot taller than our mother and had phased two years prior. If he had really wanted to, he could have squished her like a bug.

"You're coming with me, puppy, and James needs to stay. Who's more important, him or the two of us?" With momma's words Eric's head turned to the right and he gazed at me through the window. I was covered in snot and tears, my heart thumping and too terrified to even make a sound. I was little, though I completely understood the situation. Momma wanted to leave me behind and Eric wasn't sure if he should.

Eric snapped his eyes away from me and glared at our mother. "Jamie! Jamie is more important! He's just a baby!"

With a huff of breath and tearful angry eyes Momma went back around to the drivers side. "Is that you're choice then?" She asked.

"What?"

"Are you staying with James?"

Eric's hands came up to grip the sides of his hair in fear and frustration. "Are you insane?!" He fretfully exclaimed. "You can't just leave us here!"

She got in her car and closed the door. "I would never leave you! If you stay, it's you who's leaving me! So, who do you pick, Eric? Your mother who loves you or a _James_?" I heard her ask with disdain from inside the vehicle.

"Fuck you." He grumbled under his breath. "Fuck you!" He yelled the second time around. I heard the clanking of the gears as momma shifted the car into reverse and pulled it the rest of the way out of the parking spot. Following the car Eric ripped off the side view mirror in a fury and when momma straightened the car and pulled forward with screeching tires he threw the mirror at the car and smashed the back window. "Fuck you, you hear me?! Fuck you, you stupid fucking bitch!" He screamed at the top of his lungs from the middle of the parking lot with hot angry tears streaming down his cheeks and his body trembling roughly with the need to shift.

I don't know if my mother ever actually went to live with some wolf by a lake or just lied with the hope that Eric would be able to forget me. Yet, if she was willing to leave her boys behind I truly hope she got what she wanted. If she didn't I can only imagine the guilt she must feel while she lives a miserable life alone, maybe not for leaving me, but for at least leaving her alpha wolf.

I don't know what I did so bad that she'd be willing to leave the both of us behind because of it. Sometimes I feel guilty. If Eric left with momma maybe they'd have both gone to that lake house. Maybe Eric would have never imprinted on Lauren. Maybe he'd be married and have puppies. Maybe he'd be so in love, so happy, have a pack, and have such a wonderful family and all because of me his life was ruined. Then again, maybe he was just as fucked as I was to begin with. Eric was right about one thing though, our mother is a stupid fucking _bitch_.

I had never seen my brother sob the way he did after momma left, not even when Lauren died. Through his pitiful tears he blamed me, saying that this was all my fault. He told me that everything was perfect until I decided to show up. He cried about how I came out the wrong colour and that caused his papa to leave him and momma. He even said that when my dad showed up soon after he was a very nice human and that if I hadn't been such a bad baby he'd have stuck around. He went on to explain that momma had been a happy woman before I was born and that she never cried and always laughed. Yeah, so happy she fucked some human off the streets and made the likes of me.

It was probably only minutes later that Eric pulled me into his arms while vehemently apologizing for what he'd said and that I needed to forget everything I heard and saw that morning. I think I tried so hard to listen to my brother and do what I was told that I just ended up thinking about everything over and over trying to forget it. I feel like it's burnt into my memory. That day is just one of those things I'll never have the luxury of forgetting – I suppose that gave me a little something in common with Paul.

I don't think I need to give a play by play of what happened after that. Long story short we ended up in an orphanage which is where Eric imprinted on Lauren – I didn't know this, not until they actually started seeing each other. Lauren had been the granddaughter of the old woman who ran the place. The woman ended up dying when Lauren was only eighteen which left her to care for the lot of us. She did a good job, I'll give her that, although she bolted the moment the kings began funding those sorts of places which enabled plenty of staff members to be hired. I guess I can't blame her.

Like a little lost puppy dog Eric followed her when she left, taking me with him and with his majesty's guidance he somehow managed to talk the young woman into getting a place for the three of us to live. I was probably about nine at this time and let me tell you, resumes and job applications were not my forte, yet my brother needed the help so he could support the lot of us. Eric hadn't spent a day in his life at school and I guess momma and his father weren't the book reading type because he seriously can't read, he's almost as illiterate as they come. I think our mother was supposed to be homeschooling him before I was born, but from what I know she just let him do his own thing and she never got around to teaching him jack shit.

You'd never know he can hardly read, mainly because he'd never let you find out – I'd be willing to bet my life that even Riley doesn't have a clue. I was able to teach him how to sign his name and write the entire alphabet. Although, he got frustrated a lot and I think he felt a bit like an invalid having to get his little brother to write out his resume and type it up along with having to fill out his applications for him – it's a wonder how he even got a job if you ask me. Then again, he had a king for a reference.

I think he's got a bit of the basics down now. Once Riley and him got back in contact the parasitic prince texted him a lot – god knows how many hours I spent reading those things for him, although I forced him to type out what he wanted to say... with me spelling everything for him obviously. However, I think because of it he's been able to memorize quite a few words. When Paul and I both worked he'd often text the wolf and say something like 'Lunch? yes or no?' which of course meant he was asking if we wanted to go out for lunch during our lunch break and he was probably praying that Paul would simply give him a yes or a no. There were a few other ones where I think he was actually really trying – I can remember a specific one: 'Did you have seen mine blue sweater?' He clearly was asking if Paul had seen his sweater, but it really was such a fail. Paul always gets a good chuckle when Eric texts him and he once mentioned that the alpha wolf texts like he's had a lobotomy.

Yanking me from my reverie was the sound of Paul's phone ringing while he pulled it from the pocket of his jeans. "Fuck me..." He breathed as he eyed the caller I.D.. "I swear this has got to be the fifteenth time his grace has called tonight – why do I even bother having a boyfriend when I have an overly attached girlfriend named Edward?"

I chuckled despite my slight inner turmoil. "Humour him, answer the damn phone."

The wolf nodded his head. "Yeah, I'm taking this outside, though. Wait here, I gotta piss before we go." He told me and I grunted an okay in response as he pressed the answer button on the bright touch screen of his cellphone. "Bloody hell, leech, what the fuck do you want?" He playfully queried.

Almost instantly Paul's brows furrowed and he slid off the bar stool. "What do you mean he hasn't come home?" He questioned while he turned his back to me. "No, I haven't seen or heard from him." I swivelled in my spot to watch the wolf run a hand through his inky black hair. "Whoa, whoa, calm down, Ed! I haven't felt a single bad thing." He reassured the king as he started off toward the door and I strained my ears to hear the rest over the noise. "Wherever he is he's safe... Yes, I know you're scared..." The wolf's voice drifted off when he pulled the bar door open, seeing himself out while a bunch of rowdy guys saw themselves in.

I turned back in my seat to order a beer with a few spare bucks I had in my pocket and as my luck would have it the loud group of wolves and leeches piled in around me at the bar. "Move it, human." A wolf snarled at me, and just because he was the fine upstanding gentleman that he was he snatched my fresh beer right out of my hand that I had yet to even taste. He placed the glass to his full lips and his brown eyes sparkled in the dim light like he'd just done something hilarious.

As luck would have it for him, I was a no non-sense kind of human and in my slight inebriated state I was in a give no fucks kind of mood, so I did the most logical thing... I slammed my hand down on the bottom of the glass the wolf held as hard as I could and to my utter amusement the beer splashed his face, soaking his white baggy shirt, and not only that a shard of glass had broken off the cup and was stuck in the skin of his upper lip. "That taste good, mutt?" I retorted with a laugh while I got off the stool, though I hardly took a single step toward the door before I felt myself get ripped backward by my hair while the bartender hollered for us to take it outside.

Warm and cold bodies alike surrounded me and my lips parted on their own accord so a gasp could pass them as I felt the cool edge of a sharp blade press against my neck. I could tell that it was a vampire holding me still by my hair by the chill of his knuckles touching my skin and the pale flawless hand pressing the knife to me. Instinct told me to scream for Paul, yet my gut told me to keep my trap shut since the wolf would be outnumbered a dozen to one – god knows I'd never forgive myself if something ever happened to him because of my stupidity.

"Think you're funny?" A second wolf snarled in my face.

"Not particularly." I truthfully answered, although there was a slight sarcastic undertone to it.

The wolf smirked at me. "No? I bet you think we are." He pulled a hunk of silky brunette hair from his pocket that was held together by a rubber band. "I bet our little prince found a few of us utterly hilarious today!" If it weren't for the fact that he shoved the hair into my face I'd have thought the wolf was bluffing, but I'd recognize the sweet scent of Ryan's hair anywhere.

I quickly came to the startling realization that my prince had crossed paths with these guys and was yet to make it home. "He's fine, right?" I questioned, and felt myself begin to panic. What if he wasn't fine? What if he was hurt somewhere? What if for some reason Paul couldn't feel him? What if he'd never come home? "Tell me he's fucking fine!" I exclaimed as I uselessly struggled in the vampire's grip. The knife dug into to my skin, blood dripped, but I couldn't care even if I tried – all that was on my mind was Ryan.

The letter he wrote me swirled around in my head and I regretted never responding. I should have went to see him, I should have at least called him, yet I had my head stuck up my ass too far to give a damn about his feelings, or even notice them for that matter. I've been mad at him these past few days for not loving me like I've always wanted, but it's not like it's his fault he doesn't, just like it's not my fault that I do. I wish I told him that I knew he never intentionally tried to lead me on or hurt me. I knew that – the boy can certainly get lost in his own world and what's going on with him, though he's not malicious by any sort of means. He's sweet and I know that, he's caring and I need to remember that, and I understand that he loves me dearly as a friend, so why wasn't that ever e-fucking-nough? I swear to what ever I goddamn need to that if the prince gets home safe I won't ever complain about him again. I promise just having him in my life to talk to and hug was plenty enough for me.

The bloodsuckers and mongrels laughed at my obvious display of distress, yet in complete unison they all shut up and went silent as the wolf I injured shoved his way in front of me. He was wiping the blood from his lip with a paper napkin while he strode forward and as he got close he dropped it to the ground to reveal perfect copper skin that looked like it had never been touched in the first place.

With the pissed off look in his deep brown eyes I had feeling I was about to wish I could heal myself. "Stop dicking around! It's just a fucking human," He furiously growled, and to my horror, and a lot like I had with the glass, he slammed his hand against the spine of the knife causing the sharp edge of it to slip into my flesh as if it were as flimsy as butter. "They're a dime a goddamn dozen." He snapped, and grabbed the butt of the knife and took it from both the leech and my neck.

I was instantaneously sputtering and blood poured between my lips, though frighteningly more so from my neck. I pressed my hands as firmly as I could to my wound and they became drenched along with my arms. As the seconds ticked by the dizzier I got and it wasn't long until I was collapsing to my knees, then to my back. For a few moments everything was terrifyingly silent save for the sound of those guys' footsteps as they hurried their way out of the building, the trickle of my blood staining the floor, and the thump of my erratic heartbeat in my chest.

"An ambulance! We need an ambulance!" I heard the bartender exclaim, most likely into a telephone seeing as he soon prattled off the address and the name of bar. New bodies surrounded me, concerned bodies, and a wolf knelt at my side, pulling my hands away from my neck and replaced them with the t-shirt he removed from himself.

While the wolf applied pressure I continued to sputter and wasn't able to get much air, if any. My lungs ached for oxygen, yet were only filling my blood as tried to suck in breath after breath, and my neck throbbed with unbelievable pain, but I managed to strain my eyes far enough to look between clothed legs and at the door. It couldn't have even been a minute since those guys left in a rush, Paul had to have seen them, he had to be curious what had them all worked up... and as if right on cue the wolf pushed open the door, phone still to his ear and peeked inside. I tried to call out to him, though nothing but croaky garbled mess came out.

Paul's eyes flicked past the crowd and to the bar where I once sat. His face paled and his eyes slowly lowered until they caught mine. "Jamie!" He cried. The wolf bolted forward, pocketing his cell, and roughly shoved his way past the people. He dropped to his knees and immediately had his warm hands on me. "Oh my god, what the fuck happened?" I attempted to answer, but he quickly gazed under the sopping shirt at my throat and with wide horrified eyes he shushed me quiet.

Fear. That's mainly what I felt, just fear. My head hurt something awful, my vision was spotty, voices were becoming distant echoes and my arms and legs felt numb. Paul's hand held my cheek, I could tell it was his just by the comforting feel of it. "Keep those eyes open, Jamie!" I could have sworn the wolf was yelling at me, yet it sounded like a mere whisper. I tried to do as he told me, though I honestly had no control over them and gradually, more and more, they were closing on their own accord until they were finally shut.

Paul shook me, but it did nothing to awaken anything in me. "I said keep those fucking eyes open!" I bet he was screaming something furious even though he sounded like he was a million miles away. I could only imagine the look on his face... I dreaded the thought of him crying over me. "You stupid selfish human, you can't leave me! Think of Charlie! Christ, think of Ryan. Fuck, hell, he's yours, James; you live and he's all yours!" The stupid selfless wolf was such liar, and a bad one at that, though I figured it was the thought that mattered. Yet, the thing is, in this moment, I didn't want Ryan here, not even Paul – I wanted Charlie to make it all right again.

I wanted to hear his voice cooing in my ear that I'd be alright. I wanted his lips on mine kissing me better. I wanted his wintry soft hands to relax me with his touch. I wanted my vampire and nothing fucking else! If I live I'll spend the rest of my life making my horrible mistake up to him. If I live I won't for a second take him for granted, and if I live I'll finally let go of Ryan completely and give Charlie everything he deserves. But, if I die... If I die how am I supposed to tell my gorgeous, dark haired, golden eyed, pale skinned vampire that I do love him and that I was just too stuck in the past to realize it?

* * *

_Does dear Jamie live or die?_


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter Forty-two  
**

_Point of View: James  
_

I followed brand new parents with a brand new puppy out of the hospital exit and listened to them coo to the tiny girl the whole way to the parking lot. It was a chilly night and the streetlamps in the distance illuminated the concrete and fog, though as the emergency entrance came into sight I couldn't help the wide grin that plastered onto my face. There my vampire stood in all his beautiful glory.

He was too busy fiddling with his cellphone to see me approach, but that didn't bother me any. "I was fully prepared to take the bus back to Paul's, but whatever, you know how I think you're cute when you're all thoughtful." I casually flirted.

I came to stand at Charlie's side, though he was yet to acknowledge me. "Where the hell _are_ they?" He whispered to himself as he frantically typed out a message on his cell with his two pale thumbs.

I furrowed my blonde brows and gave him a curious gaze. "Where the hell are who?" I queried. Again my vampire didn't acknowledge me and I peeked over at the screen of his phone to see what he was up to. I caught sight of a message from Paul that read: James. Ambulance. Get to emerg. I shook my head in confusion and looked back at Charlie. "I don't get it." I mumbled.

The vampire stared at his phone like he was willing a message to appear. "Answer, you stupid mutt, for God's sake answer me." He murmured to himself.

"Seriously, beautiful, what's got you so worked up?" I asked in concern. I took a step closer to Charlie and went to wrap my arms around the smaller boy to comfort him, yet instead of my body lining up with his chilly one I went right through him as if I was made of nothing but air. A wave of nausea hit me as panic and lack of understanding for the situation put my guts in a knot. I expected my heart to go off in a frenzy, yet I felt nothing where the panicked thump should be under my ribs.

"Charlie?!" I cried as I pressed two fingers to the pulse point on my wrist – I received nothing from either of them. I stepped in front of the vampire and waved my hand in front of his face while I put the same two fingers to my neck to check my pulse there. "Fucking looking at me!" I screamed at him. I didn't have a pulse and I didn't think he even knew I was standing right there in front of him.

In distress I placed a hand to my forehead as I tried to figure out what the fuck was going on while in the distance I could hear the faint sound of a siren approaching. I took a step back and took a proper look at my vampire and I came to the realization that he seemed utterly dishevelled. His hair was windblown, his face contorted with worry, he wore a black hoodie with horizontal grey stripes that was zipped up to his neck which clashed with his dark plaid pajama bottoms, and as my eyes went down his body even further I noticed he didn't have shoes on his feet. His flawless skin wasn't so flawless anymore and instead his toes were covered in dirt. He had to have run here from home, that's the only logical thing I could come up with, but if that was the case that meant he wasn't here to drive me back to Paul's.

The sound of the siren approaching was almost enough to drive me mad, it sounded far, yet right in my ears at the exact same time, but above all else it was clearly making my vampire antsy. "He's fine..." He said under his breath. "My human is fine." He lifted his head with his sharp white teeth biting his bottom lip and his golden eyes gazed straight ahead – even though he was looking right at me I didn't know how to make him see me.

I removed the hand from my forehead and reached forward to touch his cheek. "I'm fine. I promise I'm fine." I tried to reassure him, though like before the part of me that touched him went right through him and he still couldn't hear me. I honestly didn't know which was worse, that he wasn't able to feel me or that I couldn't feel him.

Charlie pocketed his phone and his hands came up to clutch his dark brunette hair at either side of his head. The siren had stopped and on the glass windows of the emergency room entrance I could see the reflection of the bright lights belonging to an ambulance in the distance behind me along with my vampire's back, yet the one thing I couldn't see was any part of myself.

Bringing my eyes back to Charlie I felt tears sting my eyes while I watched my vampire get more and more upset as the bright lights approached, they shone beautifully on his face and made little firework like sparkles appear in his eyes. His lips slightly parted so he could inhale deeply, the chest of his hoodie raised and the squeak of old breaks were heard behind me.

Charlie's pale hands squeezed closed in his hair, the outer corner of his eyes crinkling with the pain he was causing himself while he observed the situation. I heard the click of a door and in the blurry reflection on the window I saw the back of the ambulance open with a faint creak of the hinges.

I turned around and almost limply a wolf emerged with tear stained cheeks and blood soaked clothes. "Paul!" Charlie exclaimed and he darted through me toward the ambulance. Paul's head turned in the direction the vampire was coming from and I was able to see that not only were his clothes bloodstained, but his brown eyes were bloodshot and ripe with tears.

The wolf hurried out of the ambulance onto the pavement and pulled Charlie away from the vehicle the second he got close. "Paul! Oh my god, what happened to you?! Are you alright? From your message I thought it was James that was hurt!" He blurted out in a fright and before the wolf could open his mouth or even wipe the tears wetting his face a gust of wind blew against his back and through Charlie's hair.

My vampire's eyes blackened and he sucked in a lungful of swirling air through his nose. He snatched Paul's shirt in his hands, roughly yanking him forward and pressed his nose close to the bloody material. "That's not yours." He breathed, and his head whipped to the side to look at the ambulance. "Jamie!" He hollered.

He attempted to make a run for the vehicle, though Paul grabbed his wrist before he could get anywhere. "Don't." The wolf sobbed. "I thought if he could see you... at least hear you..."

"Let me fucking see him!" My vampire shouted while he furiously tried to rip his arm out of the wolf's grip.

Paul shook his head with tears falling and his face red with exhaustion. "He's gone, Charlie." He whispered through his cries.

Charlie's head whipped around to the ambulance only to see two uniformed men emerge with a stretcher carrying a black body bag. "No!" He screamed and with a rough tug he was able to wrench his hand away from the wolf, yet Paul was quick and was able to hold the vampire around his slim waist as he tried to flee toward the stretcher. "No!" Charlie cried as he flailed, causing the two of them to go tumbling to two their knees on the concrete walkway.

Again Paul made a move to restrain the vampire, though this time he was ready for it and was able to hit the wolf away. He scrambled forward and to his dirty feet – he sprang onward, dashing to the stretcher before it made its way into the hospital and to the morgue. He shoved one of the paramedics away from the body bag while the other one yelled at him to keep his distance and that he was calling security.

Charlie slung all sorts of curses I had never heard pass his lips as the wolf that he shoved tried to tear him from the stretcher he was so desperately clinging to. "Jamie!" He cried. "Jamie, please!" As the paramedic pulled him away the vampire's hand brushed against the upper end of the bag. I gasped and clutched my shoulder, I had felt his touch – it felt just like he'd run a hand along my shoulder.

I turned to Paul who had just barely pulled himself to his feet, his face nothing but a mess of tears as he watched on. "I felt that!" I shouted at him. "Help him, you useless mutt! Fucking help him!"

"Charlie stop." He muttered. "He's dead."

"I'm not dead!" I furiously screamed at the top of my lungs. "I'm right fucking here! Help him!"

"Help me, Paul!" The vampire countered. "Let me see him! I need to see him!"

With a defeated sigh the wolf nodded. "Fuck," He said as he flicked his eyes between the paramedics. "Let him say goodbye."

The wolf in uniform stepped away from the vampire who took no time darting back to the stretcher. He pulled down the zipper that was positioned length wise and I could feel the rumble of it down the middle of my face and to about mid chest. The moment_ my_ face was revealed to show sickly pale skin and blue lips Charlie's eyes squinted, his nose crinkled, his jaw clenched, and he placed his two hands on either side of my cheeks – I must have been really cold because for the first time he felt warm and despite the situation and my lack of understanding I had to close my eyes for a few seconds and bask in the feel of him.

His forehead dipped and rested against mine while his lips gave mine loving little kisses. "You can't leave me like this, you can't leave me at all." Her murmured to me. "You were supposed to come crawling back and beg me for forgiveness since you've been such a jerk these past few days. I was going to give you a hard time too; you weren't going to get off easy. I know you love me, believe me I know it and I love you too." He shook his head against me, his hand slipping to the uninjured side of my neck. "What I'm going to try... I've got to think it's what you'd want."

Charlie kissed his way to my jawline and touched his nose to the skin of my neck as if he was trying to scent something beneath my flesh. His mouth came to press against the left side of it and his lips parted while his sharp white teeth broke the skin they bit. Slowly while holding firmly onto the side of my neck where I felt the pain he was causing I strode forward to stand on the other side of the stretcher. What little blood I had left in my veins trickled out of the corner of his mouth and along my skin, he wasn't drinking, not even remotely, instead I could feel the burn of his venom rush past his lips into the main artery he'd opened in search of my heart.

* * *

_Point of View: Ryan_

Making my way up the few palace steps to the front entrance felt an awful like a walk of shame. I knew my parents would be inside those palace doors waiting for me to return home. I had no idea how my father would react to me not coming home last night, but I knew my dad had to be a wreck. Paul mentioned not so long ago to take it easy on my dad and to humour him every time he asked me question after question about where I was going and who I'd be with. I was always pretty good about it I thought, though Paul said I could lose the attitude, the sighs, and the rolling eyes.

Yesterday I got off lucky, father had been forcing dad to take on some responsibility instead of mulling around the palace, so he'd been at the courthouse in town dealing with a bunch of god knows what, and when I headed out I only had to deal with my father. I could only imagine how angry dad must have been when he overheard in his mind father telling me to have a good day and to take care of myself without asking a single question as to where I was going or who I'd be with. I certainly felt better about it going down like that – I didn't have to lie about Nahuel.

Give me an inch and I'll take a mile or more. With my first taste of freedom what do I go and do? Party all night. It was worth it. Even if my dad locks me in my room for the rest of eternity and puts bars on my windows it was still so damn worth it. I had never in my life met a group of people that my dad would despise more than them – they were nothing but trouble, drunken beyond belief, and fucking amazing! Not once in my life had I ever felt more accepted by a group of people. They didn't care that I'm a prince, or a puny alpha, or even gay for that matter – last night, despite how different I am from them, they treated me like I was one of them.

I got to meet Nahuel's wife Senna, she didn't stick around for the party and instead went over to a girlfriend's for the night since she had to work in the morning. She was exactly the opposite of what I was expecting. For some reason I was expecting the female version of Nahuel, just with Laurent's dark colouring. Instead I was greeted by a soft spoken kindergarten teacher that wore a crisp white blouse and a tight navy blue pinstriped skirt that went right to her knees, had a flirtatious little slit in the back and fit her curves perfectly. She also wore a nice pair of heels and walked in them like her feet were supposed to be bent that way.

Senna's eyes were a rich gold and her silky black hair that was ironed straight was tied back neatly behind her. Her lips were full and the rosiest of reds while her skin was a beautiful mocha colour. She was stunning to say the least and I had no idea why a vampire like that would be attracted to a wolf like Nahuel – I kind of had to figure he was her bad boy. It certainly was a sight to see when they were together, but I had to love the way he at one point came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist and nuzzled his way into the crook of her neck while giving her chaste kisses. The smile she gave him for it was beautiful... they loved each other, of that I had no doubt.

I asked them how the met and I found out that they went to school together. "She was a cheerleader-"

"And you were the jock?" I interrupted in question.

The wolf's brows furrowed in disgust. "Fuck no. I was the loser that got stoned underneath the bleachers with her older brother Laurent." He said with a laugh, then looked over to his wife with a grin. "But I'm a good boy now, aren't I, baby?"

Senna gave a little shake of her head and placed a kiss on his cheek. "No, but I didn't marry a good boy, nor do I want one."

Nahuel's grin widened and he gave his wife a slap on the butt as he looked at me. "She loves my wild ways." He smugly told me. The more I learnt amount the wolf the more there seemed to be reason for Senna to love the guy. He had built them their house, which was another thing I wasn't expecting at all, the look of it that is. The place was an immaculate two story home which he clearly built with her in mind. The carpets were white and the rest of the floors were a dark oak, save for the bathrooms. The kitchen and living room put Paul's to shame, although I knew my Paulie wasn't going for anything extravagant whereas it looked like Nahuel was – he did a damn good job of it too.

When the guys started to arrive they went straight out back. Nahuel had a big grassy yard with tables and chairs set up along with a fire pit near the very back. Laurent was one of the first to arrive and I came to really like him, although he didn't so much as apologize for his behaviour at his barbershop, though he did say I owed him fifteen bucks for the haircut and that my pansy ass was welcome there anytime. I decided to be witty and told him if he had any brains he'd have kept my hair and sold it to some creep – he looked at me quite seriously after that and replied by saying he had already done just that... I honestly think he was serious.

Later in the night when the vampire was rather tipsy I got a big kick out of him asking for my autograph, yet he did say it was for his daughter who apparently had my face plastered all over her walls. Admittedly, it kind of felt nice having an admirer. Sure she was just a little girl, but it was flattering and I gave him that autograph along with entering my number into his cell. I told him to text me sometime soon to set up a time for him and his daughter to come over to the palace so I could give her the grand tour.

For a father Laurent was rather inhibited, he brought two martinis to the party to feed from so he could get wasted – martinis are basically literal alcoholic drinks for male vampires. They were nice women I suppose, though perhaps a little skanky when inebriated. Not only were they all over each other, but they were all over the vampire as well. He certainly wasn't complaining though – quite the opposite, really. He disappeared into the house somewhat early with the two she-wolf's never coming back, though when I had gone in to pee I could hear the three of them in the room beside the bathroom. I had my doubts at first, but I have to say that after hearing the noises coming from the bedroom I 100% believe that Laurent is a heterosexual man, since as a gay man myself I cannot fathom having sex with one girl, let alone two at once. I think if I died and went to hell that would be the exact punishment for my sins.

I'm not sure, though I don't think anybody but another alpha could understand the painful ache I've come to have in my chest. I wanted Nahuel, and I wanted him badly. I had every intention of getting home at a decent hour last night, yet something inside me went haywire when Randall and Nahuel's brother Eleazar, who also happened to be an alpha like Randall, arrived. Every time they touched the wolf or even so much as looked at him a certain dominating way that alphas do I wanted to phase to quite literally rip their balls off so I could mash them and spoon feed them to each other. Also, nearly the entire night I had the most overwhelming urge to shove the wolf behind me and yell at the alpha's to keep their paws and eyes off _my_ wolf. As it turns out, along with my hair I had lost my mind, but I just couldn't help the howl of the animal inside me yearning for the omega and because of it I just wasn't capable of leaving the stray wolf's side until the other two finally departed.

To be honest, I do believe part of the night ended up being one big pissing contest. I don't mean to sound cocky here, but I totally pissed the farthest and I dare say the omega was loving all the attention, especially from me. He hardly left my side the entire night and threw me grin after grin – he even let me give him a friendly nuzzle from time to time; and _oh my god_, you should have seen the looks on the two alphas faces when I did, priceless! But, you know what I loved the most? The alphas treated me like competition and not some joke of a wolf, although that might have something to do with the fact that I kicked both their butts at arm wrestling.

I'll be honest, I thought they were screwing with me when I had won, yet when more guys lined up to take me on, even Laurent, and I kept on winning I began to believe it, especially when the vampire spazzed and threw Nahuel's barbeque over the fence and into the neighbours pool with utter disbelief that he lost to the likes of me.

The cops showed up at some point to shut the whole thing down, it was a Monday night after all. I was _slightly _intoxicated by that time... I perhaps felt a little full of myself and nothing like a prince when the lot of them, a good two dozen, kept calling me Herc. I had no idea what they meant by that until I got the nerve to ask Nahuel who gave me a hearty laugh and told me they were referring to me as Hercules. I damn near shit my pants and with the knowledge of this I felt my confidence sky rocket. Big rough and tough vampires, wolves, and even alphas were calling me Hercules – if that wasn't some sort of perfect validation that I had some kind of awesome in me I didn't know what was.

Anyway, with my ego through the roof and a wonderful stray wolf handing me a shot glass full of cheap vodka with the most playful of smirks and comment that went something along the lines of, 'So, the prince can play hard, but can he drink hard too?' I let go of any inhibitions I might have had, turned off my cell so I wouldn't feel the guilt each time my dad or Eric called and I ignored them, said 'fuck it' out loud, downed the alcohol in one quick gulp, and repeated that last part over the course of the next few hours. So, perchance I was rather drunk when the police decided to show, though I remember it quite well. When we saw the flashing lights coming from the front yard Nahuel hissed something along the lines that if I didn't blend in they'd all have their asses sent to purgatory from now until forever. He was quick to rip the knees of my jeans while another wolf pulled off my hoodie and even my t-shirt. A smaller vampire covered my bare skin with his leather coat, yet left it unzipped to show off my miniscule pecks and abs. I also had a beer shoved in one hand along with a lit cigarette put in the other.

I felt like I must look like a fool, but Nahuel just gave me a grin and said, "Well, I'll be damned... there's a rebel in you after all." When the police came around back they didn't so much as glance my way twice, nor did the word faggot or queer ever cross their minds... I'm guessing, but I totally bet that's the case and you have _no_ clue how good it felt not be eyed like some royal homosexual spectacle. I might just have to thank those assholes who cut off my hair later since they had certainly done me one hell of a favour. Yes, I was still mourning the loss, but gaining the respect of so many guys was a lot better than having beautiful girly hair.

After Nahuel talked to the cops and respectfully promised that we were going to pack it in for the night they left, though with their presence missing and the wolf yelling something about shitty neighbours not knowing what fun is he turned up the music so loud I swear the worms in the earth were wriggling in an attempt to cover their ears... and they don't even have ears! Following that, more drinks went around while the vampire who had given me his coat to put on insisted that it suited me and that he wanted me to keep it. I declined of course, but then he chucked my clothes in the fire Nahuel was starting to build and despite my ginormous rise in confidence I wasn't about to strut around these guys topless, especially since Eleazar poked one of my small abs, chuckled, and said, "Cute." Needless, to say I kept the coat.

I couldn't really compare to Eleazar and I have to say if I had ever saw him walking down the street day or night I'd probably lose all function of my bladder out of fear as I ran the other way. He basically looked like a bigger and badder version of Nahuel, although the alpha had his head cleanly shaved. Now that I knew him, however, he's the kind of guy I wanted walking the streets – he's the type of wolf that would happily jump into a fight to stick up for the little guy and I wholeheartedly believed this based on the picture of him and his pack that he kept in his wallet that he showed me.

Eleazar stood a good half head taller than Nahuel, and his beta was almost as big as the alpha according to the picture, yet the wolves all around him were adorable. There was eight in total, not including Eleazar or his beta, yet it was something special to see because they were all so small and ranged from extremely geeky to preppy looking. To be brutally honest they were runts and all of them were probably much smaller than myself, but they looked happy, really happy.

Sitting around the fire the alpha pointed to the smallest of his wolves. "His name is Diego. He's my favourite." He turned his shaved head towards me and his steel grey eyes met mine. "I know they say we can't have favourites, but you're an alpha, ya know we do. I went to high school with him, alphas and omegas picked on him mercilessly; hell, even the goddamn humans did 'cause they knew they could get away with it... fuck me, Jesus, I know I'm guilty of it too. After getting a good beating I guess he decided to check out – he slit his wrists in the boys bathroom. I found him, it was a fuckin' bloodbath. Diego lived, obviously, but not by much and everybody tormented him even more for it. I didn't, I got to see what we'd all done to him first hand and I gotta say I became scared, paranoid even for the little guy – I'm a dumb dog, Herc, but I had enough smarts to know it was only a matter of time until he wasted himself for good and one day I fuckin' snapped. I watched some mongrel called an alpha hand him a knife and tell him to get it done right this time. I saw red, man. Pure red. I phased right then and there in that school and tore that piece of shit wolf a few new ass holes.

"I followed that bitty wolf around like I had an invisible leash tied around my neck and stuck to his hand. I was ready to kill anything and any one that so much as looked at _my_ wolf funny. He wasn't mine, but it didn't take him long to submit and surprisingly enough he taught me a valuable lesson. It's always the underdog that has so much more to offer than anybody else." The wolf pointed around the fire and to the round plastic tables that a bunch of the guys seated at them. "All of us here were underdogs at some point in our lives. Shit, maybe most of us still are." He then tapped my bare chest. "Everybody here knows how you feel, Herc."

I drunkenly shrugged. "I dunno... and how _do_ I feel?" I questioned.

The wolf gave me a little knowing smirk as he took a big swig of the beer he held lazily in his large hand. "Like you're not good enough, and just so ya know, you practically reek of low self-esteem. Randall mentioned it too, we can sense how insecure you are, and because I like ya I'm going to give you a little piece of advice that I give all my wolves: You're worth exactly how much you think you are. If ya don't like yourself, why should anybody else? If ya don't believe if in yourself, why would anybody else? If ya doubt yourself, so will others. You can do, be, and accomplish anything if you want it bad enough and if you say ya can't then you're right, ya can't, but know _you're_ the one getting in the way of sayin' ya can. When you say to yourself that ya can and mean it... you will."

"What do you think I want to be?" I queried.

Eleazar smiled. "A man – not a pup or a boy, or even a queer looking little fairy prince. You want to be a big cocked, roll in the mud, chop some wood, build a house, start a fire from scratch kinda alpha wolf." He correctly answered and continued on. "You're in love with a man and that's cool, but ya don't want the stigma that's attached to it."

I shook my head in disbelief and eyed him inquisitively. "How do you know all that? I don't even think my own parents would ever guess that about me."

Again the wolf smiled. "It sure is amazing what ya notice about others if you're able to set your own insecurities aside." Eleazar gave my shoulder a nudge with his elbow. "So, this is a boys night, why isn't your mate here?"

I felt my cheeks flame, though I blamed it on the alcohol. "He's busy." I lied.

The wolf cocked a brow. "Busy, or you didn't want him to meet us?"

I could almost swear my cheeks reached a higher temperature than the fire in front of me. "There's no easy way of explaining Nahuel. I don't think my boyfriend would ever understand me wanting to be handy and learning how to fix stuff or whatever. I feel like he'd get a good laugh out of it. He's a big wolf... a manly man... I'm scared of him thinking I'm too much of a pussy to actually be able to do the things that I want to do."

Eleazar nodded. "Out of curiosity do you really think he'd think you're a pussy or is that your insecurities talkin'?" I had to sigh to myself after that – the alpha had a point. Was I just scared of Paul reacting that way or did I actually think he would? The more I thought about it the more I realized how ridiculous I was being, I couldn't picture my Paulie ever laughing at me for wanting to better myself. He was the master at bettering himself, I didn't think there was a thing he couldn't do if he put his mind to it, so why would he think any differently of me? I've never put my mind to much, though who knows what would happen if I did.

After that, the guilt got to me and I had to stop drinking or I thought it was a huge possibility I'd puke all over the flames. It was long past midnight and I knew my dad would be a mess of worry, I also knew my father would be just as worried, yet wouldn't be able to show it because he'd have to be strong for dad. I had no idea how Paul would be feeling. I figured he'd be concerned, but with the imprint he should know I'm fine and wasn't in any sort of distress. As for Eric... I let him down; just plain old let him the fuck down. I should be there caring for him, though instead I ditched out with the hopes that uncle Riley would stay the night with him. It didn't even cross my mind that those two shouldn't spend all that much time together, not with their past, and I highly doubted my dad let his brother stay with the wolf anyway. Either my poor alpha wolf was left all alone or guards were watching him – either way he'd hate it, and probably hate me too for sticking him in that situation.

I contemplated running home after that, but Randall started getting handsy with Nahuel, plus I figured it was best to return home sober. I feared my dad would send out the cavalry to destroy whoever had dared to give his underage son alcohol. A few months, I told myself. Only a few more months and I'd be eighteen, making my life mine and _not _my parents'.

The guards outside the front door of the palace eyed me incredulously while I took a few deeps breaths to get ready to face the inevitable. I still wore the ripped jeans and the leather coat, what else was I supposed to come home in? Along with that my hair was obviously still cropped short with a playful mess up top, a sight not even myself had seen until yesterday. Maybe my appearance would shock my parents so much they'd forget to punish me for being an inconsiderate and troublesome teenager. I doubted it, but at least Paul wasn't here to see me sink. I actually thought he'd be at the palace waiting with my parents, but I was wrong. Although, I didn't know if I was relieved that he wasn't, or hurt because he didn't seem to care as much as I thought.

As suspected my parents were on the other side of the door, my dad in nothing but a light blue t-shirt and black sweats with bare feet paler than the marble beneath them and my father was clearly overheated from being overtired while donning just a pair of loose cargo cutoffs. Both of them had to do a double take, though once my dad was sure it was me in a quick blur he was in front of me with his chilly arms pulling me in for a hug.

I was able to peek over my dad's shoulder to see my father with his large muscled arms crossed over his ribs and jaw clenched. He looked pissed. Dad took a step back and placed his hands on my cheeks, his face contorted in a look of frantic concern. "What happened to your hair, Ryan?! Where were you?!" He exclaimed in question. "We had guards out everywhere looking for you!"

It was such a jerk thing to do, but my eyes rolled on their own accord. "Clearly not everywhere." I grumbled under my breath.

In a fury my father burst forward and shoved dad roughly away from me as his other hand snapped upward to painfully grab hold of my jaw. "You will keep that trap of yours fucking shut and respect your dad." He hissed while clenching his fingers tighter around me. I tried my best to not to let it get to me, yet I couldn't help that my eyes squeezed shut as a little whimper in pain escaped me.

"Jake, let him go!" Dad cried while he tried to tug me away from my father's grasp. "You're hurting him!"

With an enraged growl father ripped his hand away from me. "If you're going to act like a mutt then you'll be treated like one." He snarled in my face.

"I'm sorry..." I whined.

"You're not sorry!" He shouted at me. "Just fucking look at you. You're an alpha, a _prince_, you have responsibilities, yet while you were out doing god knows what you left your beta, your fucking mate, to clean up a mess that never would have happened if you were where you were supposed to be."

My brows furrowed. "What do you mean, what happened?" I asked.

Father opened his mouth to speak, though dad cut him off as he once again pulled me into his arms. "Not like this." He insisted. "Don't tell him while you're angry."

My father shook his head and his furious brown eyes caught mine. "Your human, Ryan, he's dead." Immediately after those words my dad's arms tightened around me.

My eyes widened... I had to have misheard. "What?" I breathed.

"There was an altercation at a bar last night." My dad softly informed me. "Paul had stepped outside because I had called him looking for you and during that time James managed to somehow upset the wrong crowd... he was stabbed, puppy... he bled out before the ambulance reached the hospital."

Before I knew it the tears were falling and my hands were clinging to my dad. "Jamie's gone?" I whimpered in question.

Both my parents shook their heads and a sigh escaped my father while he strode forward to clean away my tears. "Charlie met the ambulance at the hospital after getting a text from Paul." Dad explained.

"He bit James with the intent to turn him." Father added. "A felony without the proper paperwork and consent of the second party."

Dad sucked in a breath and continued where father left off. "Somehow his venom took hold even though the human was deceased. The only explanation the doctors can give us is that he still had some brain activity."

I let go of my dad while his arms slackened and I gazed up at him. "So James is alright then?" I queried in utter relief. "He's a vampire now?" I almost felt a little excited.

Father caught the corner of my eye as he shrugged and I turned my eyes to him. "He'll wake this afternoon, but there's no point in sugar coating it, Ryan, there's a reason we don't allow hospitals to have venom on hand. Changing someone is no quick fix, it's no fix at all. Newborns flood the prison system, they hurt people, pup, even kill them. There's no guarantee James will ever be like the human you used to know."

I shook my head in disagreement as I stepped away from my dad. "Jamie wouldn't hurt a fly, and look at Charlie, he's only been a vampire for a few years and he's doing great." I insisted.

My dad shook his head this time. "Do you even know your friend? Do you understand how he learnt such great control? He spent his whole twelve months as a newborn and six more after that in a facility. I only know this because I went through his records." My dad _would_ do that. "Last night!" He snapped at me after undoubtedly hearing my thoughts. "Charlie was arrested at the hospital after biting James and Paul contacted me pleading the vampire's case. Your wolf quite literally demanded that I have the boy let go and all charges dropped. I wanted to know who I'd be putting my reputation on the line for – after all he broke a law_ I _put in place."

"But, you let him go, right?" I asked.

Dad nodded. "Yes, after I had a quick chat with him over the telephone to make sure that he understood that he is James' creator, therefore his sire, which means he is fully responsible for his creation and if the vampire breaks any laws during his first year as a newborn they will both be charged accordingly."

I sighed in annoyance. "You just have to make things impossible for people, don't you?"

He furrowed his brows. "I make things fair, puppy, that is my job. I get that he cared for the human and I certainly wouldn't have expected him to stand by idly, god knows my teeth would be in your father's neck faster than you could blink had that been us in the situation, though none of that negates the fact that there are consequences to every action. Charlie made the vampire, he'll be responsible for it."

"James is not an it!" I barked back in reply.

Again my father shrugged. "We'll see."


	43. Chapter 43

**WARNING: Your eyes may end up bleeding by the end of this chapter. It's fucking long.  
**

* * *

**Chapter Forty-three  
**

I impatiently and anxiously tapped on the elevator button over and over while I stood outside the doors waiting for it. After a quick shower I had rushed over to the hospital, although my parents insisted that they drive me since I'd lost my car privileges along with any source of fun or entertainment in my life. I fear that I'll turn into a bitter wreck like my uncle Riley. Then again, maybe things are starting to look up for him since my dad actually let him out of the palace last night _without_ guards to bring Eric here to be with James – dad hadn't even made him come home yet, it's a bloody miracle! I can only a pray that a trip to the hospital won't seem like an adventure to Disney Land one day for me. Considering my dad, though... fate only knows...

I definitely got the third degree all the way to the hospital, though surprisingly enough it wasn't from dad, but rather my father. I think my dad was just ridiculously relieved to have me home and well, while my father, on the other paw, figured I was fine and well the whole time and is just livid I'd pull that kind of stunt. I got the whole 'I thought you were more mature and more responsible than this. I thought I could trust you. I'm so disappointed.' speech. He grilled me about my hair and in the end I lied. I told my parents I wanted a change and decided to get it cut – for my dad's benefit I pictured myself in a nice barbershop uptown with a friendly old human cutting my hair. If I told my dad a bunch of no-good guys chopped it off just to be mean I don't think I'd ever be allowed to leave the palace without him holding my hand, plus I know my dad, especially lately, he'd go into 'what if' mode and freak about all the possibilities that could have been.

I was honest about Nahuel and the party, however. I certainly didn't want to be, but I was, although I might have left out certain details like the cops showing up and how the guys all looked. Then again, they'd soon enough find out since both of them forced me to call the poor stray wolf and tell him he's invited over for dinner tonight. I begged my parents for it to be another night considering James' condition, but they absolutely refused and wanted to know who their 'puppy' was spending his time with. Nahuel was hesitant and said he had other plans; I wasn't pleased to inform him that it wasn't optional – as a matter of fact I don't think he was all that pleased either. I may have made heaps of new friends last night, though after this evening that could all go down the drain.

I wasn't impressed that my dad insisted that I make sure Paul comes for dinner as well. Sure, it was our day, but I didn't like that my dad was clearly hoping that my wolf would hate the guy and agree that he was crap for me like I knew he thought. For some reason I don't think my Paulie would like his imprint hanging around a guy like Nahuel. With any luck, I'm completely wrong.

Finally the elevator reached the main floor so I could hop aboard. I pressed the button for the fourth floor while a large, clearly pure bred wolf entered and asked for the sixth floor. After the doors shut I couldn't help but notice the funny glances he kept giving me. He wasn't an alpha, likely someone's beta, but he was still making me feel uneasy. I looked down at my clothes trying to figure out if I looked exceptionally gay or something today. I didn't think I did. I actually tried hard to look the opposite which was difficult if you ask me – opening my closet is like entering a forest of queer flamboyancy. I honestly didn't know what the hell I'd been thinking when I got some of those clothes. It was like I was setting myself up for failure. I always told myself I wanted to blend in, so why was I wearing stuff that made me stick out?

Okay, so I really did like some of it and I do happen to really like colours. I just needed to learn moderation. I didn't need to dress like I was going to a My Little Pony convention. A little a colour is good, too much and I make myself look like a walking, talking rainbow flag – yes, I'm a whole lot of gay, but I don't want to be a spokes person. So, today, since I hadn't yet learnt appropriate moderation I went with no colours besides my blue jeans, which I picked the loosest pair I owned. They really weren't all that loose, but they looked good I thought, especially with the black Chuck Taylor's and plain white t-shirt I wore. I actually left the palace feeling rather good about myself, plus the fact that earlier my father gave me a huge grin while telling me I looked great gave me quite the ego boost. Yeah, he's my father, he's supposed to say those things, but he's also alpha of all alphas and king. It felt good getting complimented by him, and I truthfully couldn't remember the last time he had.

The wolf to my left cleared his throat. "Have we met before?" He queried.

I shook my head while refusing to blush. Everything inside of me wanted to curl into myself and hide, yet today was the first day of me being a confident alpha. Confident alphas don't blush when wolves beneath them strike up random conversation. "I don't believe so." I told him.

He cocked his head, his brown eyes giving me a once over. "I could have sworn I've seen you somewhere before."

I feigned a cocky smirk which felt a little neat. "I get that a lot." It was a total lie, but whatever, he'd never know.

He smirked right back. "I can see why people wouldn't forget a face like yours." I nearly choked on my own spit when I heard this. I dare say he just flirted with me and I dare say I quite enjoyed it.

The elevator dinged and metal doors started to open. "This is my stop." I informed him.

The wolf casually stepped closer. "Does it have to be?" Oh. My. God!

"_Yes, _it fucking does!" I heard a familiar voice snarl and I whipped my head forward to see Paul glaring rather heatedly at the guy. I really couldn't decipher what was hotter, a stranger wanting to get in my pants or my wolf getting possessive because said stranger wants in said pants.

Paul took a step into the elevator and grabbed my hand to pull me out while I gazed back at the wolf to give him my best attempt at a sexy grin. "My boyfriend." I chirped.

On the other side of the doors and as they started to close Paul wrapped his arms around me. "My imprint." He added with a growl and with one last peek before the doors closed I saw the wolf's face look crestfallen. When I turned my head back around I expected to get doused in kisses, but instead my wolf let go of me and had a look of fury in his tired eyes. "Where the fuck have you been?" He snapped in question. "And where the fuck is your hair?"

I frowned... my wolf was mad at me. I guess I could understand. "I'm surprised my dad didn't call you on my way up."

"He did!" Paul hissed. "But, I want to hear the words come out of _your_ mouth that you were out gallivanting around with some mongrel behind my back."

I furrowed my thin brows. "I wasn't gallivanting around anywhere and the wolf is _not_ a mongrel!" I shot back at him.

Fury washed over my wolf's face which matched that in his eyes. "Did he fuck you?!" He exclaimed in question.

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. "Excuse me?" I gasped. "What on earth did my dad say to you?"

Paul's fists clenched at his sides. "That you went to this wolf's house. That there was a party, and you drank alcohol." He angrily stated.

I shook my head in absolute disbelief. "And that makes you think I had _sex_ with him?!"

"I know you want it." He countered.

"Yeah, with you!" I loudly asserted. "I can't even begin to comprehend how you could ever think I'd just give my ass up without a second thought and forget all about us."

Paul's teeth gritted. "I know exactly how thoughtless horny wolves can be." He bit out.

Again I shook my head, this time I could feel my temper rising. "You did _not_ just compare me to those sick fucks you were in prison with!" I hollered at him with my voice echoing around the small seating area with two vending machines off in a corner. "The wolf has a wife, Paulie, and even if he didn't that wouldn't change the fact that I'm yours." I told him as I pulled the chain out from under my shirt that held the ring he gave me on it. "This never left my neck last night. Everybody saw it." Mainly because my shirt was ripped off of me by some strange male vampire, but I wasn't going to tell him that little bit. "I'm taken."

His jaw slackened. "Are you proud to be with me?" He queried.

"Of course!" I insisted. "What kind of question is that?"

Paul took the ring from my hand and let it hang over my shirt. "Then wear it like that so everybody can see they can't have you."

I gave my wolf a tiny smile. "You jealous?" I asked.

"No." He said with a shake of his head. "It makes me feel sick that people could be imagining themselves using your body to get off."

My smile turned into sad, though understanding frown. "Even with the ring they still might."

"Help me sleep at night, Ryan, let me think they wouldn't." With a sigh Paul came close to me and ran his fingers through the short sides of my hair. My guess was that he was trying to get used to the look and feel of it. "I'm sorry, angel, I really do know you'd never hurt me like that – I'm dead tired, my head's a mess and my worries got away from me." He leaned in and swept his warm and deliciously soft lips against my lips. "I'm pissed, though." He mumbled against my mouth. "Really fucking pissed."

A hand of mine came to grasp the side of Paul's shirt while another slipped its way underneath it to feel the smooth skin of his back and the muscles underneath it while turning my lips away from his. "Pissed at me?" I breathily asked.

My wolf nodded, his lips brushing against my cheek. "Mhmm... you're such an irresponsible boy." I don't know how Paul did it, but he said that in such flirtatiously teasing manner that it went straight to my groin. I pressed myself against him to show him exactly what he does to me and I felt his mouth tilt upwards against the skin of my cheek. "So naughty too."

Paul's hands gripped the back of my t-shirt and his lips trailed along my jawline to beside my ear. "You smell _so_ good." He groaned.

I ran my fingers along the curve of his spine. "What do I smell like?"

My wolf moved his head back and met my green-eyed gaze. "Arousal." His eyes flicked upwards to view my hair. "And you look so..." Bad? Good? Just fine? "_Hot_." My brows rose in surprise. Me, hot? Oh, no way! "Don't get me wrong, you looked beautiful with long hair and I loved you all the same, but I have to say... I like the short hair a hell of a lot more."

I smiled brightly up at Paul. "Why do you like it so much?" I happily questioned.

My wolf gave me pleasant little kiss on the lips and smiled back at me. "Your long hair made you look innocent, even sweet, but in an effeminate way. Trust me, I adored the innocent looking you, yet I fucking love this spicy new you. You look hot, masculine... basically my imprint has become a cock-tease."

"Paul!" I exclaimed with a breathy laugh.

My wolf gave me a smirk. "What?" He asked with a chuckle. "It's true. Give me a flirty smile." I did as requested and his smirked broadened and the scent of his arousal grew. "Mmm, yep, cock-tease, but at least I know you'll give me all the happy endings I could ever dream of. Lick your lips... sensually." I hardly got my tongue halfway across my lips before his mouth was hungrily attacking mine. If I didn't know my Paulie was gay before, I certainly do now – I actually thought he'd hate my hair short, yet I think it's quite apparent that he loves the new do and I think it's also safe to say that he loves me looking like what I am... a guy. Thank god because I'm sick of this fairy princess bullshit. I've got balls dammit, and I think it's about time I start acting like it!

Shortly after the kiss and a bunch of sappy I love yous Paul took me to James' private room, which I'm sure my wolf is paying a hefty price for, though he did mention on the way there that he didn't want James to wake in a room full of easy targets. I told him James wouldn't so much as hurt a fly. Paul gave me a frown for that comment and asked if I had ever met a newborn before – I hadn't besides my dad and uncle Riley when I was little. After informing him of that he explained that newborns like those two were rarities and that I shouldn't get my hopes up that James would be the same. My hopes were already way up there, excluding my mother I didn't think there could be a better human than James. If anything, he should make the perfect vampire.

We stopped outside the room and I asked Paul if he thought Charlie did the right thing changing James. The wolf sighed and gave a slight shrug. "I understand why he did it, but it wasn't some selfless act of courage, he didn't do it for James – he did it for himself, and like I said, I get that. In his head he saved Jamie, though in my head he damned the human to a lifeless bloodsucking eternity. He could very well wake up the guy we've always known, but it's a hell of a lot more likely that he'll wake up an angry bloodthirsty monster that will never be what he once was."

I shook my head in absolute denial. I didn't agree with that one bit. "People are changed all the time and if they woke up monsters more often than not they wouldn't do it. My friend, the one my dad told you about, his wife and her brother were changed. She's a kindergarten teacher and Laurent, her brother, is a barber. They're around people with heartbeats all day and they're not slaughtering humans and wolves by the dozen. They're normal people, just like you and me. Well..." My eyes wandered away from Paul as I thought about that for a moment. "Maybe not Laurent, but that has nothing to do with him being vampire. He does have a human daughter, though. Plus, Charlie is totally harmless and you know it."

"Uh-huh..." Paul said with a nod. "And did either of the two mention their first year as a leech?" I shook my head no in reply and was a little insulted on behalf of the two vampires for being called that. "Thought so. As for Charlie his parents kept him locked up for over a year and could only have short supervised visits with him since he was such a threat to them."

"Keyword: _was _such a threat to them. He's not anymore. Not to anybody. I think he made the right choice and I seriously can't believe you'd rather Jamie be buried than be a vampire that had a rocky start."

My wolf let out a huff of breath. He was clearly irritated. "I never said anything of the sort. I just don't want James to become something he'd hate and that's what makes me second guess Charlie's decision." Again the wolf let out a huff breath. "Christ, Ryan, you talk like I'd prefer him gone... Am I seriously the only one thinking about how _he's_ going to feel about all this? He loves you, what if he doesn't want to yearn for your blood? What if he doesn't want to daydream about what Emily might taste like? What if he'd hate himself for wishing that he could drink from Eric? You have such a skewed view of vampires because of your family. It's not some luxury immortal life, not even close." I had nothing to say back to Paul after that. Clearly we were going to disagree. I knew James wouldn't want to leave us... well, maybe he could do without me at the moment, but he'd sooner become a vampire than have us miss him. We've hardly talked about it, though I remember him mentioning a long while back that he'd one day be turned – I guess the day just came sooner than expected.

Paul knowing the conversation was over opened the door to James' room for me and as I walked in I felt like I entered part of the twilight zone. Ahead of me was a wall of windows covered mostly by light grey blinds, but to my right was a fake leather couch with Riley, Emily, and Eric seated on it. Riley was lounging in the far corner of it with Emily's back resting against him and her head on his chest. Her eyes were closed, her breathing even, she was clearly fast asleep and in her arms she held a large, but frail looking alpha wolf who was firmly snuggled to her and just as asleep.

To the left was a sight I really could have lived without ever seeing and I think I finally got where Paul was coming from. A small single bed was built into the floor which had James lying on a white sheet that covered the thin mattress with his arms and legs held in place with metal restraints. He was topless, hair loose, and wore a bluish-green pair of sleep pants with the hospital's name stamped on the thigh of them. I quietly made my way to my friend with Charlie eyeing me the entire way from where he sat on a chair by James on the opposite side of the bed.

James appeared so much the same, yet a lot different too. He was one of the most handsome humans I had ever laid my eyes on, but with the new pale flawless skin and the peachy pink lips he looked like something out of a dream. He has always had a body that the human girls drooled over, which of course he never noticed, but I dare say Charlie has his very own treasure trove to have his way with now. Then again, I hadn't a clue what was going on between those two or whether James was interested in the vampire in the slightest. Heck, by the way my parents and Paul are making things sound he could wake up a completely different person – does that mean he could wake up with a different sexuality too?

I lifted my gaze from James as my wolf took a seat behind me on a little loveseat that matched the couch the other three were sitting on and brought my eyes to Charlie. "Have you talked to Jamie since Friday?" I queried and the vampire shook his head no.

"He said he'd call, but he never did. Paul explained why. I guess he was pretty shook up after you stomped all over his heart." My eyes widened with his bitter words and I looked over my shoulder to see if Paul had anything to say in his imprints defence, but his head was turned away from the both of us in a clear display of him not wanting anything to do with this conversation.

I looked back to Charlie and frowned. "I don't understand what you expected me to do differently."

The vampire sighed like I was stupid and glared at me like I certainly wasn't a prince. I felt like something disgusting instead. "You do realize this all could have been avoided if you had even the minutest bit of compassion for James. You strung him along for years while you waited for your Mr. Perfect to show up. If you just had the decency to think of someone other than yourself James would still have a heartbeat. If you didn't kiss him when Paul left you, if you didn't have him in your bed night after night, if you could have kept your fucking pants on and not jerked off with him every chance you got then maybe, just maybe, he'd have been able to do the smart thing and get rid of you." Out of the corner of my eye I could see my uncle looking exceedingly uncomfortable while Eric began to stir and Charlie let out an angry huff of needless breath. "I pray your parents never step down as kings since god only knows what will become of the kingdom if you're in charge."

I felt my jaw drop and a little gasp pass my lips. "Okay, we get it; you blame Ryan for all of this. Nothing else needs to be said." My wolf put in as he came to stand behind me.

I turned my head to gaze at Paul, then quickly flicked my eyes back to Charlie's with my frown deepening along the way. "I didn't mean for any of this." I murmured. I really didn't. James is one of my best friends, I only want good things for him... had I known I was so bad...

With his lips in a thin tight line the vampire shook his head at me. "Just like those men in prison didn't _mean_ to screw Paul up. Those guys gave into their sick selfish desires and so did you!" He accused and I heard the slight rustle of my wolf's clothes as he stiffened. For the second time today I was compared with the monsters my wolf met in prison – I didn't like that at all.

My thin brows furrowed. "You bit the human, yet you call me selfish?" I hated to throw around Paul's opinion, especially since I didn't feel like Charlie was being selfish for biting James – I just wanted something to say in retort since the last thing I wanted to do was outright agree with him since I had quite the inkling he's right.

Again the vampire shook his head. "Do you actually think I was going to let him be buried because of the likes of you?" He snapped at me.

I had nothing. I get it. It's my fault... "Fuck you." I hissed.

"With you as royalty, we're _all_ fucked." He quipped in reply, and admittedly it stung. I filled myself full of confidence earlier; now it felt like the vampire had poked one hell of a hole in me and it was all leaking out. I had thought he and I were friends, but I got the ugly feeling that even if we had been we surely weren't anymore. Sadly, I could see where he was coming from and I couldn't find it in myself to be angry with him like I wanted.

Before Paul or me could say anything Eric gagged and I whipped my head to the side to see him frantically rolling over to lean his head off the side of the couch so he could helplessly expel the contents of his stomach onto the floor. When he was finished his eyes shifted upwards to see all of ours on him. "Sorry." He pitifully whined. "It just kind of happened." His watery brown eyes met mine as Emily sat up and pulled him into a sitting position. Abruptly, he gave me a ghost of smile. "I like your hair. Handsome devil, aren't you?"

I felt my heart swell with that teensy smile and I rushed to him while telling Emily to find someone to clean the mess and for Paul to check the shop on the main floor for a toothbrush. I stole Emily's spot beside Riley and let Eric wiggle around to get comfortable in my arms, but I couldn't help but notice that he clung tight to my uncle's hand.

The wolf positioned himself so he was facing James, though scowled when his gaze fell on Charlie. "Your glare looks sicker than my puke, leech. Keep your eyes off my alpha or I'll remove them from that nice little face of yours and turn them away myself." He threatened. I appreciated my alpha wolf sticking up for me, especially since Paul isn't very good at it, but I really did feel like he should be taking Charlie's side for the sake of James. Yet, the shine of his old assholish self in his words gave me hope that maybe he was on the mend – I think my uncle thought the same since he was grinning like a madman at the wolf. Charlie, on the other paw, looked absolutely mortified and his face paled while he turned his head away from us.

Call me a masochist, but I felt terrible for the vampire. He was upset because the human he loved died and he felt forced to turn him. Whether it was really all my fault I can't say, but in his head it was and I couldn't really blame him for it. If roles were reversed and that was Paul lying on the bed and Charlie had done everything to him I'd done to James... well, I just have to figure it's a bit of a miracle he can stand me in the room.

Shortly thereafter Emily returned with two hot drinks and a man with mop and bucket. Once the floor was clean and the man disappeared out the door the she-wolf sat beside Eric while handing over one of the drinks. He pulled himself from me to sit up straight and let go of Riley's hand to take the paper cup. "Thanks, what is it?" He asked.

Emily smiled at the alpha. "Tea with just a smidgen of cream, though no sugar – it's gross and bitter just how you like it." She informed him.

Eric smiled back at her, which caused her smile to grow and for me to feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. "Want to be a good little girl and run along to get me something to eat?" He teasingly questioned and took sip of his drink.

She rolled her eyes with a sigh. "Only if you come with me."

The alpha wolf shook his head no. "I won't leave Jamie. I don't want to risk going down to the cafeteria and having him wake while I'm gone." He explained.

Emily nodded in understanding. "Fair enough, what do you want? I'll go when I'm done with this." She said as she motioned to her cup.

To my hearts utter content Eric gave her a playful look. "Something stone cold, like my soul."

"Ha!" Emily laughed. "If your soul were as cold as you say it is I'd never have to listen to you bitch and moan. Face it, your soul is a warm mushy-gushy mess."

Eric's dark brows pinched together. "I've never bitched in my life." He so totally lied.

It was uncle Riley's turn to laugh. "You're kidding, right?! Bitching it one of the things you do best, wolf boy."

Eric turned in his spot to eye the vampire while he sipped on his tea. "I resent that." He muttered.

Riley smiled and gave him shrug. "Whatever, do what you will. But, what do you want to eat? You said something cold. Ice cream? A popsicle? What about a fruit smoothie? I doubt they have them here, but I can run somewhere for you. You should have fruit, it's good for your... Actually, maybe ice cream would be the better choice. We do need to fatten you up." Riley rambled, then suddenly paused to give my alpha wolf a big grin. "How about a milkshake?" Just as suddenly as his grin came it faded and he frowned. "Actually that might be too hard on your stomach. I hate seeing you sick all the time. You should go with something warm instead... and light, like chicken broth or-"

"Riley!" Eric exclaimed with yet another smile, effectively shutting the vampire up. It was actually good to hear my uncle babble. If he's babbling you know he's happy and everything from him this past long while had mostly been short snappy sentences. "How about you go and pick out whatever you think is best for me."

Riley nodded as he stood, clearly pleased with this idea. "Yeah, I'll do that." He said as he headed for the door.

"Wait wait wait." Eric called to him while he shakily lifted himself to his feet after he passed me his cup. His knees creaked painfully which caused him to wince and with stiff achy joints my alpha wolf hobbled his way to Riley. Once there he wrapped his arms around the vampire, the wolf being a good head taller than my uncle. "Thanks, man."

Riley had a baffled expression on his face, though hugged the wolf anyway. "For what?" He queried.

"Being here."

The vampire chuckled as he took a step back. "Thank Edward for that. He must have been touched by an angel. I swear this is the work of divine intervention. He let me out of the palace and with you no less. He hasn't even called. I actually thought he'd randomly show up to make sure I haven't drained you dry or something."

"Do you want to?" Eric asked while he lifted his one hand and adjusted vampire's bangs.

Riley quirked a brow. "Drain you dry?"

The wolf gave him a nod. "Yeah."

Riley gave him a minute smile. "Nope, I used to though. Do you want me to?" He questioned

Eric shook his head no. "I used to."

The vampire eyes flicked between me, Emily, and Charlie before he let out sigh and took a step forward. "Screw it..." He breathed as he circled his arms around Eric's waist and buried his face in the crook of the wolf's neck. "I miss you and love you, and you've just gotta know that." I wasn't entirely sure what kind of love my uncle was confessing to my alpha wolf, but I felt like I should be respectful and turn my eyes away and at least pretend like I'm not listening... of course I didn't do this and neither did Emily – Charlie minded his own business, however.

Eric dipped his nose into Riley's hair and embraced him once again. "You know I feel the same way." He murmured against him. "You're precious to me."

The vampire gazed up at my alpha wolf. "You don't act like it." He whispered in reply.

An annoyed look came over Eric's face and he glanced at James lying motionless in the bed and back to Riley. "You're really going to do this now?"

"When else will I get a chance without Ed looking over my shoulder?" My uncle practically whined and he received a wide eyed 'why they fuck are you doing this?' expression in return from Eric.

The wolf pushed the vampire outside the door and just out of view. "What's the problem, Riley?" I heard him growl out in irritation.

"It's like you've forgotten about me. Ever since the night on the cliffs-"

"I don't want to talk about that!" Eric snapped.

"But everything is awful now." My uncle complained. "Why don't you want me anymore? What did I do? I don't understand. It's like I hardly exist to you. You haven't asked to see me at all since living at the palace again. Do you even want to see me? If it wasn't for Ryan asking me to help out would I even see you?"

The wolf let out an angry huff of breath. "Before Lauren die- before she... left me... I saw you all the time." He insisted.

"Bullshit!" Riley exclaimed. "Edward has kept me locked away with nothing. Fucking nothing! Yet, here you've been walking free this whole time! How is that fair?! The cliffs... hurting Paul, that was your idea! I just did what _you_ said! Christ, I even tried to talk you out of it, but now, now here I am being punished because I'm an idiot and you're an asshole, and you don't have the goddamn decency to even visit! You came over, what, two or three times a month? If that. Oh! And let's not forget that was_ after _months of me thinking you were dead!"

"Calm down." Eric hissed.

"Calm down?!" Riley shouted, which finally caused Charlie to be interested in the situation and he turned his head toward the door while Emily frowned and tossed her cup in the garbage. "You single handedly ruined my life! I was a naive little boy when you came around. I barely knew anything about life besides the inside of a laboratory. You were this big cool alpha wolf that showed so much interest in me and I was a fool to think what you thought actually mattered. You were my first friend, my only friend and still are. You've successfully made so that without you I feel like I have nothing. I bet James might even feel the exact same way. He knows what it's like to be showered with love and affection by you then suddenly have it all taken away."

"Don't you dare talk about my little brother!" I heard the alpha snarl.

My uncle sighed. "Is that your pride or your stupidity talking? I still can't fathom why you let him go around thinking you're some heartless prick that thought his own brother was a burden. Do you actually prefer that? Why won't you just tell him you screwed up and he was taken away?" He questioned and I felt my own questions popping into my head by the dozens.

Emily turned to me, the black hair of her long ponytail hanging over the front of the shoulder of her tight-fitted band tee. "Have you heard any of this before?" She whispered. I shook my head no. I hadn't heard anything of the sort.

A low growl escaped Eric's throat. "Shut your mouth, you know fucking nothing!"

"I don't?" Riley queried in confusion. "Was I not with you at every one of your court hearings when you were trying to get him back?"

"And I would have gotten him back if your useless fucking brother and his husband just helped me out!" Eric shot back at him.

"Huh..." The vampire hummed. "My useless fucking brother and his husband kept you from going to prison for a long,_ long_ time, Eric. But, back then neither of them felt you should have custody of James."

"Yeah, and they probably told the courts as much."

Again Riley sighed. "They wouldn't do that, and you would have gotten James back if you could have proved to the judge you were stable, yet you did the exact opposite. You were fired six times in six months from six different jobs. You know this is what made you lose Lauren, right? You always do the whole 'whoa is me, my imprint never loved me' thing. Fuck off, man, she loved you to bits and you damn well know it. It's your fault you lost her, you're the one that was caught selling drugs, you're the one that couldn't get your act together, and you're the one that judge stripped of their parental rights. I'm surprised a woman like her stayed with a guy like you for as long as she did." He paused and I heard him suck in a breath. "Oh, and one other thing. Lauren and her husband never left Katie to you, why would they? They left her to his old college buddy and his wife. My _useless_ brother, even though he hates every little thing about you, gave you the girl because he didn't want you to completely lose your connection with Lauren, _plus_ he wanted to give your life meaning and purpose."

For a few moments there was silence, though eventually Eric spoke. "Why would you ever think to tell me that about Katie, Riley?" The wolf sounded quiet, even eerily calm. I was honestly expecting anger from him. "I thought my imprint trusted me enough to raise her baby."

"Well, she didn't. Not even remotely." My uncle deadpanned and again there was silence.

I just couldn't take anymore of Riley upsetting my alpha wolf, so I got to my feet while placing the cup on the small table between the couch and the window and made a move to the door, though Emily caught my hand and shook her head no. "He's a big boy. He doesn't need rescuing." He might be a big boy, but it certainly felt like he needed rescuing. I decided to take the she-wolf's advice however and kept hold of her hand while I angled myself a bit better so I could try and see the two.

I could only see the back of Eric and his head was hung low with his slender body blocking my view of the vampire. The wolf's hand came up to tug on his hair and mess his already messy hair up further. "Fuck..." He growled while letting his hand fall back to his side. "I can't read." I just barely heard him murmur.

"What?" Riley asked, which was exactly my response.

The wolf let out a huff of breath. "I can't fucking read, Riley. I've never spent a day at school in my life. My mother was supposed to be home schooling me, but we always just went out and did fun things instead or she let me laze around the house doing my own thing. My father was likely willfully oblivious. He never talked school with me – just like my ma he took me out and we had fun. Every sport there is he could play and he loved teaching me how to throw a football or ride a bike, even skate and how to score a goal. He always brought his pack along and I can so vividly remember him telling them watch me do this and look how I can do that.

"But, then James was born. Ironically enough that's my father's name. It's like my mother was such a dumb bitch she actually thought naming some little human after my alpha wolf father was going to win him over and back. Anyway, the inevitable happened, my pa left her, but he didn't leave me. He _took_ me."

"You've never mentioned anything of the sort to me before." Riley said.

Eric shrugged and sighed. "I never want it to get back to Jamie. I never want any of this to get back to Jamie. There are just some things he doesn't need to know and everything I'm gonna tell you next I never want him to know – he doesn't need the guilt... So, my pops took me and I saw my mother often, like every day often for 'school'. He'd drop me off on his way to work and pick me up on the way back. She moved into some shabby bachelor apartment with James' dad. He was nice enough I guess, a bit of a creep if anything, but he eventually took off and one day we did the same. She got James all packed in the car, said we were going out to lunch, yet we never stopped driving. Ma said my father left us... always us, and she even gave me a letter she said was from him saying goodbye to me. She knew I couldn't read it and for all I knew it was a grocery list. I always kept it on me though, right in my pocket – I always had this gut feeling she was a deceiving fucking cunt, but being quite the momma's boy I ignored the feeling and believed every bad word she said about my father.

"We spent about three years in that fucking car and we never stayed in a city for more than a night or two. Needless to goddamn say, she didn't teach me jack shit in that time and I know it was to keep me dependent on her – she was a little psycho that way. I mean, for the most part I thought she was absolutely perfect in every way back then. I got a little annoyed when she'd neglect Jamie and leave me to care for him. He was a real pain in the ass the first year and a half or so – always crying. Crying, crying, crying. He'd get the worst diaper rash and honestly when ma was driving I'd sometimes sit in the back seat of the car and put a towel over my lap, grab Jamie, take his diaper off and just hold him. If he went, he went. I didn't know what else to do. Eventually I learnt about diaper rash cream from a mother who stopped to ooh and ah at Jamie, because he really was the cutest little thing you ever did see – just loud. I was sitting on some park bench waiting for my ma to finish doing god knows what and that mother with her own baby came over. I asked if her baby got diaper rash. She said yes. I asked what she did about it and she told me about powders and creams.

"I knew my ma would be another hour or so yet, so with Jamie in my arms and my backpack with nothing but half a sandwich and an extra diaper in it I set off in search of a place I could get this stuff. I found a small grocer a few blocks away, asked someone to show me where this cream was and snuck it into my bag when no one was around to see. Mind you, after not getting caught I got a little carried away. There was so much stuff I saw that Jamie needed. I was like, nine, and me, so rather stupid, and I tried to leave the store with my bag full of stuff. Of course the buzzer went off and security stopped me. It was a man, a wolf, an alpha actually. He asked me to hand over my bag and I truthfully would have bolted if it weren't for that fact that I had a human baby in my arms. He unzipped my bag and shuffled through all the stolen stuff. He asked me who the human belonged to and I explained that he was my little brother and that I didn't have any money. Seconds after that the manager came around asking if I'd taken anything, the wolf said I hadn't. The security guard then zipped up my bag, put it back on my shoulders and pushed me out the door, the alarm dinging once again as he told me I'd make a great alpha one day. Pfft... little did he know...

"So, yeah, a rash free baby is a happy baby. I also thought he was the puking sort of baby since he did it all the time. Turns out ma just got him cheap junk that his stomach couldn't handle. I stole him the good stuff from then on along with anything his little heart desired. When he started walking and talking it was the best since he was learning it all from me. I don't know if it's weird or not, but I taught him to call me daddy. The first time our mother heard him call me that she gave him a real big smack for it. That was the last time he said it – kinda broke my heart a little.

"Speaking of dads, let me get back on topic. That letter my ma gave me, I got the old lady at the orphanage to read it to me – I told her the writing was too messy. Turns out it really was a letter from my pa, but it wasn't for me, it was written to my mother and it said he wanted full custody of me and that he was fully prepared to go to court to make it happen. He was an alpha; she was human, courts back then wouldn't so much as hear her speak. I don't know if she panicked or was always nuts to begin with, but I suppose that's what triggered her to take off like she did – I'll never understand her leaving me, though. She'd done little things like that with Jamie before... like stopping at a playground and later she'd tell me to go the car and wait for her. She'd come back without Jamie and I'd ask where the hell he was. Ma would just give me a dumbfounded look and I'd have to go back to get him. I just thought she was a blonde and clueless human sometimes. I figured she needed me because of the stupid things she'd do. I always had to watch out for her. I'd take care of her and give her lots of love 'cause she'd cry all the time. She loved everything about me, she said as much all the time, but she still left and I'll always think of her as that deceitful fucking cunt.

"Two or so years later when I was fourteen my father came to the orphanage looking for me. He was standing at the front door, he said he'd heard that an Eric Yorkie had been living there for some time. I was at the top of a staircase, hands clued to the railing, the place was dark, he couldn't see me, but with the light of day illuminating him from the open door I could see him perfectly. I knew if I let go of that railing I'd be running to him. I heard him say he was my pa, I could even smell him he was that close... he was everything I remembered. The woman said she'd go talk to me. The farther she made it up the stairs the more watery my eyes got. I said the worst most vile things about my pa that I could think of and begged her not to let him take me. My father heard me of course and came bolting up the stairs causing the poor old lady to scream for Lauren to call the police.

"I cried like a baby when I had to look him in the face and lie that he'd done terrible things to me. I'd have left Lauren to be with my pa, but I'd never leave Jamie – it wasn't even an option. The police escorted my father off the property. He came back a few more times with the same ending until one day, the last time I ever saw him, he was told I had been adopted. I had never in my life seen a man cry like that. I watched him from the window and he was sitting on the curb by his car outside the building in the middle of a downtown street just sobbing. He was there until it fell dark and he eventually drove away. I wish I could say it felt good knowing he loved me and that he had been looking for me all those years, but I can honestly say that that is the one instance where I wish someone didn't give a flying fuck about me.

"Now let's fast forward to when I'm seventeen and I've got the girl. We got a place together and I bummed a couple grand off you since I didn't have a job. Edward flipped, Jake didn't care, and you were like a cute little mouse caught in a trap. I'll never forget how flustered you got when your brother found out you gave that much money to a chump like me. I paid you back... it was drug money, but my word is good. James helped with my resumes and filled out all my applications for me, but do you know how limited I was? Can you think of any jobs where you _never_ need to read or write? Because I couldn't, though I tried to pull it off, yet always got found out pretty damn quickly and it was humiliating as fuck since each time it was because I screwed something up tremendously.

"I went through jobs like you went through girls – one minute they're there and the next they're not. I'd get a day or two of training pay, if the job paid trainees and that was it. I was broke and Lauren was bitching. She didn't want to work, she wanted to go to college... who do you think she expected to pay for everything. The apartment, food, bills, James, her school? Me. I love that woman to bits, but she made me want to tear my hair out. She made everything feel impossible because she wanted so much, yet in all her life she'd never had a thing to call her own. I wanted to give her everything she could ever dream of, though at the rate I was going the only thing she'd have to call her on was cardboard box on the side of some road that we'd live in. I needed money fast and I still owed you that cash... the drug thing just kind of fell into place. I knew some shady people that needed guys to do runs and everything escalated from there. First it was only pot, then pot and pills, but the harder the drugs the larger the payout, so of course that attracted me to it. Yet, that wasn't enough, we were still struggling and I knew the bigger the sale the bigger the reward. Eventually we were stable, I had a nice alibi, nobody suspected a thing, not even you, and Lauren got everything she wanted.

"Then I got greedy. I didn't want to be 'stable' I wanted to spoil them. If I was willing to take risks, you know, stick my neck out there in my line of work I could make some serious doe. I made plenty, banked it all, and got busted a year or so into those kind of deals. I should have been locked away thirty to life, that's what all the other guys got – I spent a whopping three hours in there before the kings themselves came down to the station. I didn't call them. I thought I was fucked and I'd never get to hold my brother again, yet Lauren was informed of my 'activities' and she talked to them. I don't know what was more mortifying, the kings bailing me out of jail and having the charges dropped or the guys I should have gone down with watch this happen. I was right about one thing though, I wouldn't get to hold my brother again, at least not for a long, long time. I got home just in time to see social services take him away.

"Lauren had my things packed and put in the _guest_ bedroom, because, fuck, it would be a little too inconvenient for her to take care of herself now wouldn't it? I didn't mind this though; I thought I still had a shot to win her back. I spent years battling it out with that fucking bloodsucking judge and I swear to god he had it out for me to begin with. It's as if he liked to see me squirm. You know, before those last six months, I sucked up my pride, met with him privately, and told him I couldn't read. I knew the job thing was coming and I knew it'd be court appointed, so I prayed he'd give me something I could actually do. He had to be playing with me because the first job I got was clerical work, fucking clerical work! That lasted hardly an hour since all I could really do is sit there and twiddle my thumbs. The next month I got a wonderful job working down in a post department in an office building. I was supposed to distribute the mail. That went just as well as can be expected seeing as I'm goddamn illiterate. The next three jobs were just the same. That judge set me up to fail. I would have had better luck if I told him I was an English major – he probably would have given me something that required nothing of the sort.

"Since all that went down disastrously I lost my parental rights to Jamie, which you know. It wasn't long after that my money dried up, Lauren was fucking that bloke, and I couldn't even look my brother in the face without feeling like a complete and utter failure. When it was clear to Lauren we were going to struggle because I couldn't get a job to save my life, not with my record, not without a reference – Jake wouldn't even vouch for me – and especially since how limited I was with my choices, not that she ever knew that last bit, she conveniently, for her, had me leave and her husband to be move in. I went to you miserable, distraught, and depressed. As nice as your brother can be he's a scheming little prick – he knew I'd lost Jamie completely since he's nosey like that, but Jake didn't. His majesty badgered me endlessly about having Jamie move in too. I had to give him some bullshit story about wanting Jamie to finally have a normal life or some crap like that or otherwise Eddie would see me right to the front door and off palace grounds. He knew Jake wouldn't give me my rights back, but he would have brought Jamie to the palace – Ed didn't want Jamie living at the palace. He said my brother's feelings for Ryan were way too grown up and we didn't need to be enabling them.

"For the first time in my life I said fuck it and did something for myself. I kept my mouth shut like his grace asked because I'd rather be a mooch than a bum on the streets. It didn't take long for the feeding thing to get out of control and every time my brother came around me I just felt sick to my stomach. I couldn't stand the sad look in his eyes, I couldn't stand the way he stared at me like he was about to burst and beg to know why I'd done this to him, and I just couldn't stand that after all we'd been through together I failed him. I wanted him out of my face, I didn't want to have to see him, so I was dick... a complete and utter dick. I wanted him to hate me just as much as I hated myself. I wanted him to leave me and never look back. I just wanted the guilt to go away and maybe if he did so would it.

"By that time he was practically a young man anyways, ridiculously independent. He was just about fifteen, he'd quit school, Jake got him into some program learning about heavy machinery and into that flat with a bunch of guys in similar situations – he didn't need me and maybe he was better off without me. I'd have never stopped mollycoddling him. Fuck, even when I lived in that flat with him not long ago I got nervous watching him go up the stairs, one wrong slip..." Eric paused and took a well-deserved breath. His whole body was shaking, whether it was because he was angry or he was beginning to feel weak and having a hard time holding himself up I couldn't tell. I let go of Emily's hand and quietly made my way out the hospital room door to go to the alpha.

I pressed myself into his side and hugged an arm around his lower back to help sturdy him. He didn't so much as look my way, though he did put his arm around my shoulders and rest the majority of his weight on me. "I guess this is a really long and roundabout way of saying that if you so much as fucking suggest that I didn't love my baby brother, that I didn't care, or that I didn't try hard enough, then go to hell, Riley, go straight to fucking hell and burn." He bitterly hissed. "And, if your brother and Jake thought I was bad for Jamie then fuck them, fucking everything about them, and fuck their kingdom!" I did my best to not cringe in reaction to his words. I got where he was coming from, but they were still my parents. Although, I do believe that is the last thing on his mind.

My uncle Riley looked speechless and frazzled. I'd say I felt bad for him, but I didn't really. I kind of had to side with the wolf on this one. "Sorry." He murmured in reply. That's all he had to say after _all_ Eric said? "It's not like I had it easy either." Oh hell, he should have just kept it at 'sorry'.

Eric shook his head and scoffed. "Boo-hoo, you grew up in a fucking lab – I grew up in the real world. You got your fairytale ending, but where is mine, huh? Where the fuck is mine?!" He exclaimed with watering eyes. "Why are you so lucky?! What makes you so damn special?!" He shouted in question with angry tears streaming his cheeks. "I'm illiterate, I've got one hand, my mother abandoned me at some sleazy motel, I lost my father, I lost James, and for Christ's sake my brother was stabbed in the neck last night and died – god only knows what kind of leech he'll be. Yet you, _you_ have the fucking audacity to complain to _me _about being locked in a palace... a _fucking_ palace!"

"Everything alright here?" Both Eric and I startled and looked over our shoulders to see Paul standing behind us with a brand new toothbrush and tube of toothpaste in hand.

My alpha wolf swayed as he let go of me and turned around to face Paul. "Where the _hell_ have you been?" He asked in complaint while he hobbled forward and hugged his arms around the wolf's middle.

Paul scowled and Eric rested his head on his shoulder. "Long line." He mumbled while he lifted his arms up and away from the alpha wolf like he was some bug that latched onto him. I shuffled my feet to face my Paulie and when our eyes met he gave a loving little smile. "Hey, handsome." He greeted, and my heart just about stopped dead in my chest – the hottest, most sexiest and wonderful man on earth just called me handsome. Not beautiful, but _handsome_. If I shave my head does that mean he'll have sex with me? If that's the case, would someone please go grab the clippers!

"Hey." Eric said back to Paul and I couldn't help but chuckle.

My wolf's nose crinkled while he growled lowly and he tried to shove Eric off with his free hand. "Not you, freak show." He hissed.

"I know." Eric sighed. "It just sounded nice. Why aren't you hugging me back?"

Paul tilted his head to look at my alpha wolf. "Why would I _want_ to hug you back?" He queried.

"Because I'm a sad pathetic mess, and if you were a sad pathetic mess I'd hug you." My alpha wolf spoke the truth, the guy loved to have someone in his arms.

Paul quirked a brow and gazed at him incredulously. "No, if I was a sad pathetic mess you'd jump me in the woods to collar and strip me with the intent to humiliate me by using my ultimate fears and the nightmares of my past." You know when someone says something so awkward a whole room full of people goes silent and the air suddenly feels cold? Yeah, Paul achieved just that, although the wide hallway was empty of nurses or people, so I'll cut him a little slack, but the air does feel rather bitter.

Eric stiffened and tensely peeled himself from my wolf. "Do yourself a favour, don't fucking touch me." Paul ground out through gritted teeth as he shoved the small bag holding the toothbrush and paste into Eric's hands.

"You don't have to be such a jerk, he didn't know it'd bother you." Riley said in Eric's defence while came forward and let the alpha cling onto him instead.

"And you don't have to be such a coward." My wolf growled. I wasn't quite sure what he was referring to, but my guess was that it had something to do with my dad. "It's not very befitting for a prince."

"Paul!" I hissed and he snapped his eyes from the two to me. "What's the matter?" The question came out an order.

My wolf's eyes widened and I could see the strain on his face as he tried to fight it. "My head." He bit out. "I told you earlier that I'm tired. It makes it difficult to organize my thoughts and impossible to get rid of the ones I don't want. Eric triggered a bunch I'd rather not talk about, but with your order..." Paul flinched and turned his head away from all three of us. "I don't want to be touched by anybody when I can't stop thinking about being fucked in prison."

"Jesus." I breathed. I wasn't expecting something like that. "Okay..." Now what the hell do I do? I needed to be an alpha, a leader, and fix this mess. "Eric, don't touch Paul again until he says it's alright. Go brush your teeth." I ordered, and admittedly it felt kind of good. I had never ordered my alpha wolf to do anything before and frankly I didn't know if I could, but with the surprised look in his eyes and the slow pace he used to let go of my uncle I knew it worked.

As he hobbled off to the washroom in James' room. I looked to Riley, I couldn't order him to do anything, but I figured he'd listen... or I'd tell my dad some bullshit story about the vampire behaving badly. "Go get Eric lunch and a little something for Paul." I peeked into the room and motioned for Emily to come over. "Go with Riley and don't let him out of your sight. If my dad calls or shows up he'll feel better knowing he hasn't wandered off by himself somewhere. Oh, and protect the vampire if need be, he's a prince after all." That was an order and that one felt good too. Was it normal for alphas to like to boss their wolves around?

With Riley and Emily walking away I looked back to my sleepy wolf while taking a step closer to him. I'd let him fill the distance if he wanted – to my hearts utter discontent he didn't budge, but I smiled fondly at him anyway. "Take a nap, Paulie; you need it." It wasn't a suggestion, but rather another order. I wondered to myself if wolves liked getting orders, especially good ones, because Paul smiled lovingly at me, gave me a little peck on the cheek, and told me thanks.


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter Forty-four  
**

Paul was sound asleep with his head in my lap, Eric was dozing on the loveseat, and Charlie hadn't moved from James' side. It had been over an hour since Emily and Riley went for food for Eric and they were yet to return. I'd call or text the she-wolf, though I honestly didn't care enough to. My mind was elsewhere and with my fingers lazily running their way through my wolf's hair I watched Charlie keep his golden eyes on nothing but James – it was easy to tell he loved the guy in all the ways I once tried to. When I was younger, maybe thirteen, forteenish, I tried to make my heart want nothing but James, but the heart wants what the heart wants and the ache and pains for Paul were always there.

I was naive enough to think that maybe if he held me for so many hours, if I kissed him enough times my love for him as a friend would grow into more. It didn't, and I should have let go of him, I should have done what Charlie said – I never should have encouraged him. I'm a selfish prince and after so long of having that closeness I didn't want to be without it. I wanted the hugs and kisses. I wanted to feel his love for me and I craved all the affection he had to offer. I was worse than any bloodsucker, I was a leech and I drained the human dry of everything he had. In some crazy way my selfishness did get us all to this day... I couldn't let go of what James could give me and he couldn't let go of the hope that one day I'd feel the same.

I wanted to cry my guts out, yet I refused to let my body to do so. Paul needed someone tough to watch out for him today and Eric needed to be surrounded by strength and encouragement – he didn't need his alpha breaking down on him. He shouldn't ever have to worry about me; it was my job to worry about him and my tears would only upset him, plus I wasn't so sure James would want me crying over him. He was the opposite of me... selfless, he wouldn't want me or anybody suffering because he was hurt.

"Charlie?" Eric mumbled as he pulled himself into a sitting position. The vampire clearly struggled to remove his eyes from James, though he did it anyway and turned his head toward the alpha to give him his attention. "What was it like in that facility you were in?"

Charlie shrugged. "Nice, homey. Newborns are angry and volatile by nature; the staff do everything they can to keep you calm and comfortable there. There are eight floors in the one I was at – consider it like a scale, the first floor had newborns that could come and go as they pleased; the eighth... those were the ones that were likely never to be let back out into society. They'd be moved somewhere permanently after about two years, or destroyed. Usually destroyed."

Eric's jaw dropped and so did mine. I've never heard about any of this, although it's not like I have ever cared to learn about it. "They can't just kill people! Those vampires are somebody's family!" He quietly exclaimed, making sure not to wake Paul. "The kings allow this?"

The vampire nodded. "His grace set up the entire system. And, Eric, those vampires aren't people, they're nobody's family – they only seem like it from a distance. If you look into their eyes you'll see they're so dead and lifeless, it gives you the chills. They've lost their conscience, their morals... their souls. They are the true definition of a vampire. They're the ones you read about in history books and see on television specials. King Edward hasn't forgotten about that and he knows how to protect and help his people." Funny how he has such a high opinion of the king, yet such a low one of his prince.

Eric shook his head as if he didn't like or believe what he was hearing. "So, you trust in this system? What floor were you on?" He questioned.

Again the vampire nodded. "Yes, the system works if you choose to use it. His grace doesn't force it upon all newborns, but most vampires think he should. It's just safer for everybody that way. The only time it's mandatory is when a newborn is unstable. A doctor, a specialist really, will come and have a chat with James along with giving him a few tests to see what kind of control he has before he's allowed to go home. He's bound to fail a few, and that's expected, but I failed them all. I was put on the fourth floor. I had poor impulse control and would attack anything with a heartbeat. I didn't want to, I didn't even mean to, but the scent... the sound... it was like an off button for my brain. It's clearly not an issue now, and I had made it to the bottom floor by the end of my first year. I could have gone home, but my parents wanted me to stay longer and I could respect that."

"Hmm..." Eric hummed. "Do you want Jamie to go to one of these places?"

Charlie shrugged for a second time. "All depends on what he's like when he wakes." He told him, though the sound of the long vertical blinds clicking together had my eyes turning away from the conversation and to the wall of windows. I looked upwards thinking a fan in the ceiling had caused a draft since I knew for a fact these windows didn't open. "James is... was an emotional human. I'm worried about that. Sometimes those sorts of things can become enhanced. An emotional newborn would make a very unpredictable newborn."

"Jamie is anything but emotional..." I said under my breath as my eyes searched the ceiling.

"You _would_ think that." Charlie snapped at me in reply and I flicked my eyes to the vampire after they came back empty of answers. "He's sensitive. He seeks acceptance and love, though I don't doubt that he thinks he's not good enough for either. He's cocky to cover up the fact that he's so unsure of himself and he even laughs when he's sad because he doesn't want to burden others. Maybe I should be more concerned about you, your highness. I figured all this out the first week I met him, how many years have you known him, _my prince_?" I couldn't help but feel that Charlie was mocking my title and judging by the frown on Eric's thin face he felt the same. I could only assume the vampire was right about what he said – I didn't particularly want him to be, however. James has always been my rock, the one to make me smile and feel better when I've been upset. He's near constantly calm and cool and I've always envied how tough and insightful he is. I also love how he can laugh when times are bad. I guess you could say I look up to him in a way, and to think that his whole attitude could be for show really bothered me. Was I completely blind to my friend?

"You should watch your mouth!" Eric growled at the vampire. "You said what he is, your prince! I don't care if he ran over your mother, reversed, and did it again – he's our prince, royalty, so fucking act like it!" My eyes widened in surprise with my alpha wolf's angry reaction. If he gets this worked up about something so minute I'd hate to think how he'd react if he heard someone call me a fag or the like.

"Eric!" I lowly hissed and he turned his head toward me. "Leave it alone."

The wolf looked away appearing rather annoyed and caught the vampires golden gaze. "Keep in mind he can send you to purgatory for your disrespect." My fingers stopped moving in Paul's hair and I sighed. I had a feeling once Eric was well I'd a have a hell of a time trying to rein him in. He's dominant by nature... me, not so much. Nature left out a few things that really would have come in handy for me.

Charlie stared at the wolf like he'd just said the most ridiculous thing. "That would require his highness to have a backbone." He quipped.

Eric opened his mouth to speak, though I cut him off. "Not a word." I snapped my order at him and turned my attention to the vampire as I shook Paul a little. He barely stirred but it was enough to get him to move a bit so I could stand.

I angrily strode toward. "Get up!" I demanded, and he gave me a wide-eyed perplexed look. I wasn't kidding. "Get the fuck up!" I loudly spat. I felt so out of my element – I wasn't a loud or demanding kind of person. I'm a 'sit back and let everything happen then complain about it later' kind of person. Yet, I kept repeating Eleazar's words in my head: When you say to yourself that ya can and mean it... you will. I _can _stick up for myself. I _can_ take charge. I _can_ be a man, though most in importantly I _can _be the strong alpha wolf I was born to be.

Charlie was yet to move and that made me feel slightly furious, especially since he had a defiant 'what are you going to do about it if I don't?' look in his eyes. That was actually a good question, what am I going to do? I actually kind of wanted to turn around and go sit on the couch and pretend like this never happened. _Not_ an option, however. I'd look like such a pussy if I did and that was the exact opposite of what I was going for. I let out a huff of breath – I guess I was just going to have to make him.

"Are you deaf or dumb?" I growled as I grabbed hold of his upper arm and hauled him to his feet. "Perhaps both?!" The vampire had an absolutely shocked expression on his face and when his eyes met mine his cheeks paled to a milky white. I actually hoped he held firm to his dignity and didn't apologize to me. That wasn't what I was looking for; all I wanted was respect and if he didn't take me seriously it was never going to happen.

I straightened out his hoodie for him since I had pulled it all out of place. Shut up, I'm hardly bad ass, plus I didn't want to be mean either, that wasn't my intent at all. Fearing someone is a hell of a lot different than respect – I didn't want anybody to fear me... on second thought, maybe an alpha or two would be alright. "I didn't hurt you, did I?" I queried. It probably wasn't what my words should have been, but I really was concerned. He felt as light as a feather and I was worried I handled him too roughly.

With his cheeks still exceptionally pale and his lips in a tight line Charlie shook his head no which caused his dark hair to fall in front of his eyes. "Nothing like this will _ever_ happen again, your highness. I Promise. I'm_ so _sorry." He profusely apologized. Ugh, and _I_ worried about sounding like a pussy.

"You're supposed to call me Ryan. We're friends. You wouldn't like it if I called you Mr. Swan all the time, would you?" I asked. Maybe I was pushing it with the friends bit, but I once thought we were and I honestly still do. It's up to him, really.

He shook his head again and remained hidden behind his bangs. I sort of liked the timid and shy Charlie – he was cute, and it was definitely nice not to have to look up to see someones face, instead his was right there in front of me. The vampire had to be so scared to gain such a temper today. There wasn't a chance that I could be mad at him or hold any sort of grudge – he loved my best friend with all his might and there's no guarantee that he'd ever get his Jay back. I couldn't fathom the fear I'd have if Paul was in James' situation. Of course I worried for James, but I keep telling myself that he's too good a person to get lost in the blood lust. Plus, Paulie is my mate, he's going to be the father of my artificially inseminated test tube puppies one day, the thought of not having him... no. I won't even think it. What if the poor vampire feels James is his mate?

I took a step closer to Charlie and reached out a hand to sweep his bangs out of his eyes and he gave me a tiny smile to show me that he appreciated the gesture. I decided to close the distance and give the older boy a hug. The vampire was tense at first, though slowly relaxed and put his own cool arms around me. "All the things I said about you today-" He started, but I decided to cut him off.

"Were true, maybe slightly exaggerated. I know I haven't been a good friend to James, so thank god he has you and Paul to properly look out for him, especially you – you love him in all the ways he deserves."

The vampire's cheek came to rest on my shoulder and he sighed a chilly breath against my neck. "I love him, Ryan, I love him _so_ much." He whispered in confession.

I tightened by arms around him to help hold him up as his body began to sag a bit. He was emotionally exhausted, it was easy to tell. "Is he your mate?" I questioned.

"Yes." Charlie whimpered and I felt my shirt tighten as his hands clenched the white material. "I'm scared... you have no idea how scared I am. I can't lose him – not like this. I never even got the chance to tell him how I feel."

I was just about to open my mouth to speak when the fluorescent lights above us started flickering. The vampire and I let go of each other while the both of us turned our heads upwards. My eyes squinted as I gazed at the flashing lights. "I didn't know they could do that..." I quietly said. The room was bright with the blinds adjusted to let the daylight in through the windows – the room lights weren't clicked on.

"Me either." Charlie added.

The alpha shrugged. "Probably just an electrical problem." He put in. Ripping my eyes from the lights when I heard the sound of something hitting the floor and splashing. I looked over my shoulder and saw that Eric's half-drunk cup of tea had somehow fallen from the table that was situated between the couch and window and had spilt onto the floor.

"...the fuck?" The vampire breathed. I hardly had time to even think about the cup because the large framed picture of a forest above James' bed came crashing to the floor behind it, causing the glass to smash and for Paul to startle awake with a gasp.

Clattering could be heard beneath the bed and both Charlie and I dropped to a crouch. "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" I murmured in question. The broken glass was spread the length of James' body and lifted a few inches off the ground; a few of the pieces clacking together as they hovered.

The vampire licked his dry lips. "If not then I think I've gone mad." With his words the glass dropped to the floor and the lights stopped flickering.

I saw Eric's feet on the other side of the bed as he hurriedly got to his feet. "Jamie!" He exclaimed. "He's awake!" Charlie straightened and was at James' side before I could even blink. With a feeling of trepidation I stood while Paul calmly strode to the end of the newborn's bed and I took a few steps back to be at my wolf's side.

At James' left with his vampire stood with face showing nothing but concern. "Jay, look at me. Say something." Charlie urged him. On the newborn's right Eric trembled with teary eyes and he placed a quavering hand on his brother's pale forearm. James' head whipped in the direction of the wolf with menacingly black eyes wide. They met Eric's body where he stared hungrily and his nostrils flared as he took his first breath of air.

There was a distinct bob in the newborn's throat and a pained look came across his face. "Fuck..." He muttered sounding like the same old James he always has, though the metal restraints clanked as he tried to move his arms. His blonde brows furrowed and he lifted his head off the pillow to look down his body – he looked absolutely pissed.

Abruptly his eyes flicked to mine catching me completely off guard. It was hard to look into his, the whites could hardly be seen and his face was so strikingly beautiful it left me breathless. "Ryan..." He said as he softened his features and gave me a pitiful little look. "Can you take the restraints off?"

Charlie frowned sadly. I don't think he liked that I was the first one his newborn talked to. "They have to stay on until the doctor comes and checks you out." He informed him.

James paid absolutely no mind to him and kept his eyes locked on mine. "Please." He begged.

I looked over and up at Paul. "Do they _have_ to stay on?" I queried.

My wolf squinted his eyes at the newborn then gently pushed me back so he was closer to James than me. "You'd sink your teeth into my imprint the second he let you go. I can sense the danger, _leech_." He growled.

The buzz of the fluorescent lights beginning to flicker once again had my stomach in a knot and the little hairs on my arms standing on end. "I wouldn't dream of it." James hissed through gritted teeth, his face going back to appearing angry.

Paul scoffed. "That's because you can't sleep." He hissed right back.

The newborn turned his angry eyes back to mine and at the same time I heard the clinking of the glass underneath the bed along with the rustle of the paper cup vibrating in its spot. "C'mon, Ryan, you know I'd never hurt you." James insisted.

I shook my head. "Sorry, Jamie. You're just going to have to wait." I knew far better than to question one of Paul's feelings – he's never been wrong so far.

"I said I wouldn't fucking hurt you!" He screamed at me as he roughly slammed his head back onto the pillow and he yanked with all his might on the four restraints knocking Eric's hand off him. "Let me go!"

Charlie put his hands on James' chest to try and still him. "Hey, hey, hey." He shushed him while he leaned over the bed to press a kiss to his newborn's forehead, which seemingly started to calm him and caused the cup to stop moving along with the clinking of the glass to stop, though the lights stayed flickering. "You're alright. You're just fine." The vampire cooed.

"Charlie!" The newborn cried and with a loud bright pop above me the lights exploded – the broken bulbs shielded from falling over top of us by a plastic barrier attached to the ceiling. I tucked my arm under Paul's and held tightly on to him in fear. I was creeped the hell out! Either this room was extremely haunted or James has some insane kind of power. I honestly didn't know which one was more feasible.

"Shh, tell me what's wrong." Charlie softly instructed while he ran his left hand through James' blond hair.

The newborn swallowed uncomfortably and squeezed his eyes shut for a moment or two. "I wouldn't hurt him."

"I know you wouldn't on purpose, Jay, but you could by accident." Charlie told him. James nodded, accepting that answer, and an apologetic frown marred Paul's handsome face. I don't think he thought of that scenario – I believe my wolf jumped straight to the conclusion that James wanted nothing more than to eat me.

"Everything burns." The newborn quietly whimpered.

"On the inside?" Charlie asked and James once again nodded. "You're really thirsty."

"Fuck!" James hollered as he squirmed in his place and like a strong breeze went through the room the blinds swung in their place. He turned his head away from the vampire and looked toward Eric. "Feed me."

The alpha's eyes widened. "What?" He gasped.

The newborn uselessly struggled in his restraints. "I'm starving, Eric!" He shouted at the same time a loud crack was heard from the middle window and out of the corner of my eye I could see a web of cracks etched into the glass. Were we all just going to keep pretending like this was a normal everyday occurrence?

"Jamie, you have to wait." Charlie said as he stood up straight. "The doctor will bring you something to drink. He'll want to do a bunch tests to find out your strengths and weaknesses. We also need to know if you're stable."

The newborn leaned his head back on the pillow while he let out a loud frustrated groan. "Get a pen and piece of paper out Charlie and write this down for that Doctor." He snapped. The vampire's cheeks paled with embarrassment and he hugged onto his middle while James stared him down. "No? You're just going to memorize it? Okay. You need to know if I'm stable... well, let me tell you something: No! Fucking no! I'm goddamn not! I'm strapped to a bed like I've been abducted by bug eyed aliens and my ass is fearfully anticipating getting probed. My throat feels like its got flames in it and all I can hear is three strong hearts thumping hot blood through flimsy penetrable veins. All I can smell is food, and as unnerving as it may sound I desperately want to drink the three of them all dry." My jaw dropped and James darted his black eyes over to mine. "I wouldn't, I love you all _to death_... not literally, bad choice of words. I'd only drain you guys half empty."

The newborn angrily tugged on his restraints and continued on. "So, my weaknesses: _Blood_, that's probably a big one since I'm a fucking vampire now! Also, stupid people, like you lot. I'm dead for all of a few hours and you're at each others goddamn throats! I feel like I'm surrounded by a bunch of lunatics!" James shouted and his eyes went to Charlie's. "You." He hissed. The vampire's lips tightened into a thin line and with his head ducked slightly he hid his golden eyes behind his bangs. "Am I the only one who doesn't think this is any of Ryan's fault?! Fuck me, if we're going to play the blame game why isn't it Paul's fault? If he scampered off and died in the forest instead of coming back I would certainly have _never _been at that bar. Then again maybe it's Eric's fault, or better yet my momma's. Had she not been a selfish bitch and taken care of my brother and I like she should have, I'd never know any of you. Then again, this probably could have all been avoided if I didn't slam a glass in the punk's face who stabbed me." The newborn paused and sighed while trying to find the vampires eyes through his hair. "But, Charlie, maybe it's actually _your_ fault. Maybe if you weren't so damn cute I'd still be alive."

Charlie stiffened. "Excuse me?"

The corners of James' peachy pink lips tilted upwards. "You heard me. You're fucking cute... the cutest even, but I love how sexy you can be too. I love when you blush, when you smile, and the way your eyes sparkle when you laugh. I love the way you treat me, the way you care," A crooked little cocky smirk formed on his handsome pale face. "And how obvious it is that you're so madly in love with me." He playfully teased. I couldn't fight away the smile I had or the way I was practically bouncing on the balls of my feet. James was going to say it, he was going to tell the vampire that he loved him too!

Charlie reached for James' hand and the newborn was quick to lace his fingers with the smaller ones. "I can't help it. You were such a perfect human. None of this vampire stuff matters so long as my human is just nicely tucked inside a rock hard shell. I couldn't stand to lose him; I love him way too much."

James smiled fondly up at the vampire. "Beautiful, at this rate you might just lose me. I think it's a high probability that I'll parish because you all insist on starving me, but in the meantime kiss me since I can't get up there to kiss you." Charlie looked around at the three of us and I nodded for him to go for it while my right hand came up cover my mouth... I was waiting for it. I was waiting for those three words.

Charlie let go of James' hand and placed it on the side of his neck as he leaned over him. "I love you too, you know." The newborn admitted, though gave a little pout. "Too bad I had to get stabbed in the neck and die a virgin to realize it, must be a blonde thing." I bit my tongue to stop myself from squealing with glee. It was totally unromantic, but it was so James.

The vampire shook his head with a breathy chuckle. "Shut up, Jay." He grumbled, just as his lips met James'. I grinned like the Grinch as I hugged my arms around Paul's waist from where I stood and he slung his muscular arm over my shoulders to hold me close.

I looked over at Eric to see if he was just as happy for his brother as I felt, but when my eyes fell on him he looked utterly miserable. I couldn't be certain, though I was willing to bet it might have something to do with him being stuck between two happy couples. "You do know what me now what me being a bloodsucker means, don't you, Charlie?" James asked between kisses. The vampire gave a small shake of his head and went right back to his newborns lips. After a few moments James turned his head from Charlie to speak and give him a cheeky smile. "It means you should be prepared to get the blow job of a lifetime... I don't have to come up for air anymore." Eric's eyes widened in surprise with his younger brother's words and he turned his back to the bed intending to go rest on the loveseat. Though, when he curled up with his back facing the room I knew he was feeling lonely and undoubtedly wishing he had his deceased imprint in his arms right about now.

"Jesus Christ..." Paul grumbled. "Don't be gross, Jamie."

With a quirked blonde eyebrow the newborn sat up in the bed, though his hands were still stuck firmly at his sides and his legs straight out in front of him. "Don't be a fucking prude, Paul. You really pissed me off today; you know, you've got nerve getting all pissy at Eric like you did. It's not like he came at you with his wang out! If you ask me, which you won't, so I'll just go ahead and say it, you might want to check yourself before you wreck yourself." I couldn't help but chuckle at James' whole attitude, our human hadn't gone anywhere. Although, it did make me reevaluate all of Paul's behaviour today. Was he alright?

"How the hell do you know anything about that?" My wolf questioned. "You've said a few other things that you can't possibly know."

James shook his head with a clueless expression on his face. "I can't really explain it, but I've been hanging around this whole time – you're a hideous crier by the way. I thought I was going to be stuck outside my body and watching you freaks silently for all of eternity... a fate worse than any death. Anyway, I followed after Emily and Riley when they left. I'm not sure if that was a big mistake or not. The bloodsucking prince wasted no time when he was alone with her. He had wooed her into an empty room before they had even gotten halfway to the elevator. I think seeing his cold dead hand go inside her pants scared the life back into me... sort of. That's the last thing I remember."

Paul's hand clenched my shoulder and I heard the grinding of his teeth as he gritted them. "Tell me you're lying." He ground out with his heart picking up in anger. Sucking in a deep breath through his nose James' nostrils flared as he tilted his head back a few inches and closed his blackened eyes along the way. His body shuddered, metal restraints jangling, and he let out a languid moan.

Charlie got on the bed behind the newborn and wrapped an arm around the front of his waist while resting his chin on a bare shoulder and brushing shiny blonde hair away from James' face. "It's just after one. You woke much earlier than expected; the doctor will be here with something for you to drink in about forty-five minutes or so. I'd get a nurse to call him, but he'll be with other newborns, there's no point. You just got to be strong – I know you are." He said in an effort to comfort James.

The newborn's eyes popped opened and he fervently shook his head then strained his neck to look at his vampire. "I don't want to be strong." He whined in a whisper. "It hurts so bad, Charlie... Get me blood."

Charlie gave him a saddened frown. "It's the rules, Jay. I would if I could."

"You can!" James screamed at the same time the bathroom door slammed closed behind me hard enough to rattle the glass in the windows. "Fuck the rules!" He hollered at Charlie and squirmed in his grasp. "Get the hell off me if you won't help!" Looking absolutely mortified the vampire got off the bed and James flopped back on it.

"Eric!" He cried as he tried to rip his wrists out of the restraints, though only ended up cracking and chipping his skin. "Eric!" As fast as my poor alpha wolf could rush he rolled off the sofa and pulled himself to his feet, wincing along the way. "Help me! Fucking help me!" He yelled as the wolf made it to his side.

Eric's face was a blotchy mess while his eyes were bloodshot and watery. "I don't know how too." He softly replied.

"Feed me, you prick!" James shouted at his brother and he continued to roughly struggle in the restraints.

"I'm not supposed too, Jamie. Newborns are only given animal's blood." The wolf quietly explained.

James' face turned to a look of pure fury. "I hate you!" he hissed. "I fucking hate you, Eric."

God, my heart just about broke when Eric blinked and a tear streamed down one of his cheeks which he quickly brushed away. "It's okay."

"Don't you cry!" James snapped at him. "Don't you dare fucking cry! You have _no _right to cry!"

Eric nodded and wiped his eyes. "Did you hear all the things I said to Riley?" He queried.

The newborn tensed. "Every word." He growled.

The alpha pressed his hand into James'. "Ma was so crazy, Jamie."

"Why?" The newborn asked while he curled his fingers around Eric's bigger hand.

Eric shook his head like he was trying to shake away the tears that kept trying to force their way to the surface. "You were the better son. You were so perfect, at least I've always thought you were. You had these big beautiful blue eyes and when you were really little your hair was a curly platinum blonde. You were so delicate and soft with a nice creamy skin, plus your toothy smiles had all the mother's but our own melting at the sight of you. As you grew everything you did made me feel so proud and every night I dreamt of being grown and your dad. I didn't want to be some scared and clueless kid – I wanted to be a man you could look up to. I wanted to be your provider. I wanted to give you everything life has to offer. When I finally had the chance I fucked everything up, Jamie, and you can't know how sorry I am."

James bit his bottom lip and eyed his older brother. "I don't understand how after everything we'd been through you were able to treat me so badly."

The wolf shrugged with a sad expression on his face. "I don't have an excuse, or at least not one worth mentioning. You know how sorry I am, though. I can't count the number of times I've apologized. I love you... the past has got to mean something. Can't you please think of _all_ the things I did do for you instead of what I haven't?" He pleaded in question.

The newborn nodded against the pillow. "I do, Eric. All the time... you know I love you too... nothing could ever change that."

That sad expression turned into a hopeful one and the alpha gave his brother's hand a squeeze. "Can we start new then? I want to get to know my baby brother. I want for us to have fun again, make memories and all that mushy shit."

James lifted his head and met my wolf's eyes with his own intimidating black ones, although they seemed to have brightened a bit – they had a sparkle of happiness in them. "What do you think, Paul?" He enthusiastically asked. "You cool with two little brothers?"

Paul flicked his eyes to Eric, the wheels in his head clearly turning as he thought about it. After only a few seconds of thought my wolf smiled contentedly. "I'd love it."

Eric shifted his eyes between the two. "I don't get it." He put in, obviously confused.

The newborn turned his gaze to Eric. "He picked up where you left off, so if you're rejoining the family you've been demoted to middle child... I know, _the horror_, no kid wants to be the middle child, but alas, actions do have consequences." He playfully informed him.

Eric grinned a giddy smile I never thought I'd ever see on him again. "So, I get you _and_ Paul?!" He questioned with excitement, and there was just so much of it that it rubbed off on me too. I knew my alpha wolf adored my Paulie for some odd reason, so I felt like this was perfect for him. Not only did he get a second chance with James, but he'll also get that love he's been constantly craving from Paul.

The newborn rolled his eyes. "I'd wipe that smile off your face, Eric; Paul takes his role seriously and has no qualms about making your life miserable if you're not doing what he thinks is right for you."

Eric looked to Paul who shrugged and smiled at him. "It's true." He admitted. "If you plan on being my brother I should inform you that within the next two weeks you'll be hauling your lazy ass to a class to learn to read – no exceptions, no excuses. You'll go or I'll make you go."

The alpha's face blanched, though he slowly nodded his head and a cheerful smile upturned his lips. "Okay, okay, I can do that." He agreed and his cheery smile returned to that big grin he had moments ago. "I'd do anything for either of you." He let go of James' hand and motioned towards the restraint. "How do we get these off? I'm going to feed him – this is ridiculous, he shouldn't have to wait."

The newborn bolted upright. "Yes yes yes!" He exclaimed and he furiously tugged at the restraints. "Get them off!"

"He really should only have animal's blood his first year." Charlie quietly insisted.

"Charlie!" James bellowed as the glass above us in the ceiling and below us under the bed rattled momentarily. "For god's fucking sake let me feed!"

With pale cheeks the vampire met his newborn's eyes. "I'm just trying to be careful."

"If you want to be careful you ought to let him feed me or else I might bite the doctor the second he gets close enough and fail every fucking test since I'm so damn thirsty. I do _not_ want to be sent to one of those fucked up facilities for bloodsuckers gone bonkers... no offence." James gave his vampire a flirty smile. "I'm sure you made an adorable newborn that was off his rocker, though. I think it'd be kinda hot."

"Jamie," Paul spoke up. "You sure you're ready to have your hands free? You can be fed with them still in place."

"Whatever, keep me restrained." He looked over at Eric. "Feed me."

The closer Eric got to James the more I didn't like what was happening. I got the nagging feeling that this was a very bad idea – it's not that I didn't think he shouldn't be fed, but... "Eric stop." I ordered and he instantly listened. "You're way too weak. I'll feed him."

"What?!" Paul exclaimed. "No fucking way you will! I'll do it if that's the case!"

James closed his eyes and sniffed the air. "Ryan smells delicious, he should be my lunch." I'm not sure if I should be, but I was kind of flattered.

"Not a fucking chance!" My wolf hollered at him. "Not my imprint!"

I let go of my Paulie and gave have him an apologetic smile. "Don't move or speak unless I say otherwise." I ordered him and I immediately felt a sting of guilt, especially when James just _had _to grin smugly at him.

I moved my way around a wide eyed and pissed off Paul and took Eric's spot. "Charlie, help me out here. I don't want him fully concentrating on the blood. Sit like you were before, hold Jamie and keep touching him." As the vampire got in place I caught James' eyes. "Let go when I say to let go or I'll sic Paul on you." I threatened.

"Got it, you're the boss." James snappily replied. "Now let's get on with it!" I decided for the sake of the newborns sanity to just bite the bullet and with little to no hesitation I brought my right arm up and pressed my wrist firmly to his lips. His teeth slipped into my skin like it wasn't even there and I suppressed the urge to whimper at the pain, though I was thrilled to see the newborns whole body relax with the first mouthful. He hummed happily at my flavour and kept his eyes focused down at my wrist while he quietly drank.

"Charlie, do you have the key? Can you let his left arm free?" I questioned and I received a huge angry huff of breath from Paul. The vampire nodded and took the key from his plaid pajama pants pocket and leaned pass his mates side to set his arm free. As expected his hand darted upwards and clung tightly to my arm to hold it in place, though I couldn't help but wince at how hard he squeezed which caused Paul to loudly growl.

James' eyes lifted from my wrist to my wolf and in clear display of respect he took his hand off me, then very gently put it back in place. I glanced over to Eric. "Unlock his other hand." I instructed and Charlie tossed the key over to him.

With two free hands the newborn traded one for the other and put his left hand on Charlie. This made his vampire smile fondly at him and while his throat bobbed with each swallow he gazed over at the smaller boy. My thin brows furrowed as I watched James grab hold of Charlie's hand and slowly bring it over to his lap. The leech was up to no good, I knew him all too well, so when he suddenly placed his vampire's hand on his crotch, I couldn't say I was all that surprised. Though, he got quite the snarl from Paul.

"James!" Charlie exclaimed as he yanked his hand away with snow white cheeks. However, he leaned into his newborn, placed his lips close to his ear and whispered something so quietly I couldn't hear a single sound.

James' black eyes, which showed no sign of changing colour, widened and he sucked roughly at my wrist before pushing it away after a few more mouthfuls. He looked up at me as he licked his lips clean. "Unlock my feet... wait... actually." He paused, winked at Charlie, and placed his wrists in the restraints. "Lock me back up and the three of you get the fuck out."

I quirked a brow. "You're welcome." I grumbled

The newborn nodded. "Yes, thank you. I'm not nearly sated, though. Can I have Paul for dessert later?" He questioned.

I shrugged. "It's up to him, but why did you stop if you weren't done?"

James grinned at me. "As it turns out there is something a hell of a lot more enticing than blood." He told me.

"Like what?" Eric asked.

James' grin turned cheeky and Charlie flicked his hair in front of his eyes as well as wrapping his arms around his mate's bare torso while hiding the lower part of his face behind a shoulder. "Charlie's lips around my cock, what else?"


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter Forty-five  
**

Earlier the lot of us were sitting in butt numbing chairs outside of James' hospital room while the newborn and his mate had some 'alone time'. My Paulie was fast asleep with his head rested on my shoulder and across the hall sat Riley and Eric with Emily in between them. My alpha wolf was happily, yes, _happily_, munching away on the food that was brought for him and he kept sending big smiles Riley and Emily's way. He contentedly shared his meal with the she-wolf and couldn't seem to help but shower the girl with affection which continuously caused my uncle to gaze at the two of them fondly. From time to time Riley would even match a little kiss or nuzzle Eric had given her – needless to say I had no damn idea what I was witnessing and it was probably for the best Paul was dead to the world then since the second the vampire returned with the she-wolf Paul viciously punched him right in his cold hard face.

I felt awful having to profusely blackmail my uncle in an effort to sway him from telling my dad my wolf hit him. I had seen Paul angry before, though never as angry as he was when his fist collided with Riley as he screamed at the vampire prince that he was nothing but scum and how _dare_ he take advantage of such an innocent girl. The poor she-wolf was mortified as Riley insisted he only 'serviced' her while also 'servicing' himself – I didn't dare ask what either entailed. Paul swore up and down that if the prince ever touched his pack sister again he wouldn't hesitate to build a bonfire with his dismantled corpse. I had to give _yet_ another order and tell my wolf to keep his paws off my uncle, which he wasn't so pleased about, but to be honest it gave me the chills to think what my dad would do to him if he ever hurt Riley. Plus, as much as I loved bonfires, I loved my uncle more.

James was privileged enough to witness Paul's outburst and thought the whole situation was utterly hilarious. Though, it annoyed me to hell and high water and back that he did his best to rile up my already angry wolf by throwing in snarky little comments here and there. Eric fervently defended the prince and his lady prey – I'm not sure if I'm surprised by that or not. Charlie kept his thoughts on the matter to himself which I suspected he would. Although, I thought if he was going to be around a heck of a lot more he better start voicing them. As for Riley, well, I dare say he couldn't keep his eyes off Emily and with my wolf asleep he had no trouble running his icy fingers through her hair while whispering things that made her blush.

I worried he was just trying to get his dick in my she-wolf's pants and I had to wonder if it was bad planning on my part the few times I had left him and Emily to care for Eric at the palace. He hadn't so much as touched a girl in over a year because of my dad's strict rules, so I felt it made sense he'd go for my friend despite knowing the feelings she harboured for him since she was just a little pup. I hadn't talked to her about Riley since the incident on the cliffs. She said she'd forget about him completely because of it, although I think it was more along the lines of she'd make it look like she had in respect for Paul. Yet, with Eric around and in our pack, what's to hold her back now?

Riley drove me back to the palace after James pissed me right the hell off. But, before that the doctor concluded that it was safe enough for the newborn to go home as long as he had constant super vision. We may have all failed to mention that he had fed three times, once from me, Emily, and Paul, before the doctor decided to show. I thought it was strange that his disturbingly black eyes hadn't changed in the slightest, but they didn't seem to be affecting him any, so I didn't feel the need to say anything about it. Also, James by that time was in a fairly sated mood and nothing rumbled or moved with the doctor around and apparently we're all keeping quiet about what we'd witnessed and nobody said a word either to the specialist or each other.

James agreed to stay at the hospital until Paul could pick him up after dinner, of course Charlie was to wait with him. It was decided by everybody, including James himself that it was best that Katie left my wolf's house for her own safety. Paul looked absolutely miserable, but agreed nonetheless. It was also decided that she'd come live at the palace. I didn't ask my parents; I knew my father would be just fine with it – the more the merrier with him, though I figured my dad might have a thing or two to say about it.

I wasn't prepared to care for the human full time, however. Plus, my wolf was firmly against that and insisted that it was time Eric got his own room in the palace with Katie's right beside his. Paul wanted them to be close to each other so she'd know where to go if she was scared or needed something during the night, plus the alpha would be able to hear her if she called out for him. Paul also insisted Katie was Eric's responsibility not his, or mine, and it was about time that the wolf started acting like it – he then proceeded to give Eric a long lecture on parenting and how being sick is no excuse and that no parents ever in the history of time gets to go on sick leave away from their children when they're unwell. It was seriously adorable seeing my wolf go into protective parent mode. He went on and on about all the things Katie needs and has to have – he even went into detail about how there was a certain routine she had each night before going to bed and if you missed one of those things she'd get cranky and kick up a fuss. I loved how firmly he stated that she is to have only strawberry scented bubbles for her bath or otherwise she won't get in because the water doesn't smell good enough. She's a picky kid, yet my wolf seemed to have her needs down pat.

My Paulie certainly is precious and would one day make the most amazing father, and so long as I could put that 'one day' off for a few decades to a century I might be a good parent too. I could tell he was extremely upset about having to let Katie go, though he always knew that day would come. I'm not so sure he trusted Eric to do the job correctly, especially since he said every spare moment he had he'd be checking in on the two of them to make sure the alpha wasn't doing inconceivable and irreparable damage to the child. For some reason or another I found it rather sexy when Paul took charge and got a bit bossy – I think it gave me the hope that he'd be like that in bed.

Paul took Emily and Eric with him to help pack up Katie's room, not that Eric would be much help, although I do find he's good company when he's not being a teary moody mess. I was surprised to hear that Katie was at my mother's – I didn't know Paul felt comfortable enough to call her in the middle of the night like he did and ask if she could take the little human for a night or two. Emily had been babysitting her when the stabbing happened and the she-wolf wanted to be at the hospital as soon as she heard the news.

Paul had to go and make me feel guilty since he told me he would have gotten my dad to care for her had he not been preoccupied worrying about me the entire night. I still stand by my decision though... Well, no, that's a lie. It's selfish, but I wish I felt that way just so I didn't have feel like the biggest failure as a friend. Part of me really does believe that James would still be human if I didn't want to go out and have fun. I get that my place is at the palace, but what if I don't want it to be?

When everything was settled James pulled me aside and asked to speak with me privately before I left. Paul being Paul insisted that he stay in the room or James gets locked back up if he was going to be alone with me. James agreed to get his ankles put back in the restraints and Paul firmly demanded that I stay out of the newborn's reach. I agreed, although the second he closed the door I sat on the edge of the hospital bed.

"Ryan..." James had whimpered. He easily pulled me closer to him and awkwardly twisted his body so he could wrap his uncomfortably cold arms around my waist and rest his head in my lap. "Where the fuck were you all night, huh? I thought they did the same thing to you... or worse."

I furrowed my brows and leaned down slightly to try to hold my friend close. "I honestly don't know what you're talking about."

"The guys who stabbed me, they had your hair." He explained as he roughly grabbed my arm and pressed his nose to my wrist. "Even as a human I'd know your scent anywhere." Without warning or permission he dug his sharp white teeth into the skin of my wrist. I didn't try to yank my arm away – the last thing I wanted to do was upset or anger the newborn and I figured he should feed whenever he felt like he needed to. Although, if he was going to make a habit of feeding from the living instead of a donor blood he better learn to ask first.

He gazed up at me with wide black eyes from my lap, the whites of them hardly visible, while he contentedly hummed as my warm blood touched his tongue. "Do I taste good?" I queried. James smiled against my wrist with his grip tightening and nodded. I smiled back at my friend. "You make a gorgeous vampire, you know." I couldn't help but compliment him, it was true... extremely true. A bit to my delight his pale cheeks paled further in a signature vampire blush and his eyes fell away from mine, though the vibrating panes of glass in the windows had me feeling uneasy and had my heart picking up its pace. James' eyes closed and he moaned happily with the help of my heart aiding him in getting quicker and larger mouthfuls.

I let the newborn drink until he felt fully sated and when he broke free of me he rolled off of me and onto his back with a big grin on his face. "It feels_ so_ good to feed... it's enlivening, invigorating, exhilarating – I fucking love it!" His menacingly dark eyes met mine and his grin faded. "I don't think I'd be able to stop if I was feeding from someone I've never met. You know me, Ryan, I could never hurt anybody I loved, but if I didn't care about the person..."

I shook my head in disagreement. "You care about everybody, James. I understand you're scared, but have some faith in yourself. I do think it's a possibility that you could slip and bite someone you shouldn't. You're a newborn, that's hardly unheard of, but I _do_ know you, and you wouldn't kill anybody. Besides, you've got tons of people who love you right back that will be keeping a close eye on you. You're going to be well taken care of and fed, Jamie, you won't be going thirsty."

A small smile returned to James' face. "Tons of people love me, you say. Like who?" He chimed.

I rolled my eyes, though decided to indulge him anyway. "Charlie, for one."

James' smile turned into a grin and his black eyes burnt into my skin like the sun on the hottest day, yet also had the chill and sparkle of melting ice. "I love him too." He sighed. "I fucking love that boy and believe me when I say it feels even better than feeding. If I had to pick one or the other, I'd choose to love him. I'd starve just so I could – there's no way I could give him up. No way, no how." He paused and a smug little look came over his face. "I'm special. Charlie told me that while we were alone."

I chuckled while feeling exceedingly happy for my friend. "What else did he tell you?" I questioned.

The newborn smirked. "Not much, his lips were busy doing other things, but, here, hand me that pamphlet." He requested as he sat up and pointed to the love seat. I got to my feet and grabbed the paper off the arm rest. "Charlie said I could go there if I wanted or thought I needed too."

I sat back down on the bed beside James while opening the pamphlet. "Wow..." I breathed as I looked at the images. "This 836-square-meter pent house tops the entire floor of this magnificent facility for newborns, offering a 360-degree view of the Forks skyline. It boasts an indoor pool, steam bath, massage room, and individual rain shower booths. The services include a personal butler, a personal therapist, and a private chauffeur."

James nodded. "Yup, and the fucking sofas and cushions are made of a fabric woven with platinum and gold. The place gilt mirrors and chandeliers. Christ, it's enough to make a minimalist like me break out in hives. It even says the grand foyer 'dazzles' the eye with an elaborate floor made of four kinds of marble. The living room is twenty meters long, holds a grand piano and the vast entertainment center that comes with a full service bar for the guests with heartbeat."

"Shit!" I hissed as my eyes caught sight of the price. "My god, it's over five grand a night! If you stayed there your entire first year as a newborn that would be close to two million bucks." I dropped pamphlet to bed and met James' eyes. "Paul said he'd pay for this?"

"Oh, fuck no." He said as he shook his head. "Charlie said your dad suggested it. Apparently they had some long conversation on the phone after the pigs took him away and booked him. Basically his grace explained that sires are responsible for their newborns for the first year and that he understood that Charlie didn't exactly sign up for that nor is he capable of staying with me constantly, so if the vampire could talk me into having the royal treatment for a year, which his grace would pay for, that might help Charlie with the stress of the situation. Though, if I refused and I went out slaughtered Paul's neighbours or something while he had his back turned your dad said he'd make sure my vampire was in the all clear and wouldn't receive any sort of punishment for my crimes. I really think his grace was making an effort to make Charlie feel better about biting me, he told him he'd help in any way he could and that had he been the one in that predicament he'd have bitten me with hardly a second thought." Once again the newborn grinned. "Charlie said he called me family." He stopped for a second and laughed. "Then again, he did refer to me as the unwanted stepchild type. I figure that's because he knows I jerked off with you for years and would have dragged you down the aisle by time you reached your thirteenth birthday even though I was nowhere near ready to consummate the relationship – his grace said as much to my vampire. That's how Charlie knew about the masturbating thing. It's not like I'd have ever mentioned it to him, nor would Paul." What James had to say was pretty much the opposite of what I thought my dad had talked to Charlie about. From the way he made it sound I got the feeling all he did was threaten the poor boy... as it turns out he was just trying to be a nice guy, who knew? "So, anyway, I'm not going to that place. I want to be at home with Paul, and Charlie understands that. But, yeah, enough about me. Where the fuck were you last night?" He asked.

I sucked in a breath and frowned slightly. "First you have to promise not to laugh." James nodded and crossed where his heart beat less than twenty-four hours ago. "Okay, well, Eric had been urging me to get out of the palace and do something different for a change. I decided to take a class."

The newborn smiled. "What class?"

"You can't laugh." I insisted and I felt my heart picking up speed. I hardly had the nerve to tell him, but I figured if he promised he wouldn't laugh, he wouldn't. Heck, maybe he'd understand that I just wanted something in common with the rest of the guys of the world and that when I live with Paul it'd be amazing to actually help around the house. Could you picture me under the kitchen sink trying to fix a leaky pipe? Me neither, but I was dead set on learning how to.

"I won't." He swore.

I smiled back at the newborn. "Good." I sighed in relief. "I signed up for this workshop class... you know, to learn about tools and build stuff."

James grinned in amusement. "You're kidding!" He said with a laugh. I sadly frowned and shook my head – so much for that promise. "Tell me you're fucking kidding!"

"I'm not..." I mumbled, cheeks flaming.

"Oh god!" He guffawed with his head tilting back. "I can picture it now! Who'd you kill?! What did you blow up?! You're priceless, Ryan!"

I stood up from the bed as I crossed my arms over my ribs in embarrassment. "You said you wouldn't laugh."

The newborn shook his head. "Sorry, it's just too funny." He replied while trying to stifle his laughter. "Why didn't you pick something you wouldn't fail miserably at? Like pottery, or knitting."

My jaw dropped. "Are you serious?"

James' laughter finally faded and he gave me a nod. "Well, maybe not pottery. I know you don't like getting your hands dirty. What about scrapbooking?"

"Those are girl things!" I heatedly exclaimed.

Again he gave me a nod. "Yeah... so, um, wouldn't you prefer doing that?"

My eyes widened and my arms fell to my sides where my fists clenched. "I'm a fucking boy!" I angrily shouted, causing Paul to enter the room to check out the ruckus.

James flicked his eyes to Paul. "I think you're imprint has his period." He teased. The two of them chuckled at his lame joke.

"Go fuck yourself, Jamie!" I hollered while pointing my index finger at him. I whipped around and scowled at my wolf. "You can go fuck yourself too! Would it be so hard for you to stick up for me every once in awhile?!"

"Christ, Ryan, he was just kidding around." Paul defensively responded.

James laughed. "No I wasn't!" He corrected. "Common, man, you got to think it's pretty hilarious that the prince is trying to learn _actual _hands onskills." I felt the newborns eyes on the back of my head. "Admit it, Ryan, you're shit with tools. Why don't you stick with what you're good at, sitting there and looking pretty."

Paul's brows furrowed in confusion while I tried to hold back tears and the vicious words I wanted to sling at James. My wolf's eyes met mine. "What are you doing with tools?" He queried.

"Nothing!" I exploded. "Fucking nothing! I haven't touched a goddamn one! The teacher thought I was just as awful with them as you two do!" I turned back around to eye the newborn furiously. "He said he'd give me private lessons, but before he got there yesterday a bunch of guys cut my hair off – presumably because I'm a pathetic and defenceless _faggot_ little prince just like you two pricks seem to think!" I felt like such a fool and I couldn't help but run out of the room like a dramatic queen. In the hallway I demanded Riley drive me home that instant and for some reason when he gave my she-wolf a peck on the lips goodbye I felt rage burn beneath my skin – I was glad I didn't stop long enough to say anything I'd regret.

Paul caught me in the parking lot. He insisted he didn't feel the same way as James and he said he was actually happy that I wanted to branch out and try new things – I wasn't so sure, but forgot about my worries once he started kissing me in clear public view by Riley's car. "Don't listen to, Jamie." He murmured, letting his hands slip from my cheeks to the side of my neck while continuing to give me little kisses. "He's going to say and do things without thinking for awhile." He explained on the newborns behalf. Although, I kind of felt James was being his blunt old self. "But..." He hummed after giving me a chaste kiss on the tip of my nose. "I'm proud of you, _but_ is this teacher of yours the same guy who gave my boyfriend who has not yet reached the legal drinking age alcohol?" My cheeks brightened and I nodded. "Then I automatically despise the mongrel and forbid you from ever seeing him again."

I rolled my eyes. "I'll be seeing the _mongrel_ in a few hours' time, and so will you for that matter."

My Paulie gave me a beautiful smile. "It was worth a try." He sighed.

I got to my toes and placed a tender kiss on his lips. "Promise me you'll play nice. He's a real good wolf and I'd be willing to bet if you give him a chance you'll like him a lot."

Paul shook his head and his smile turned wicked. "I promise nothing."

When I got home I had to thank the gods in heaven that my parents were in a good mood. My dad was well sated with bright crimson sex eyes and my father was all smiles and seemed quite happy to act like I hadn't spent my first night away from home boozing it up with strangers – I was completely fine with that. They did, however, ask me question after question about Nahuel that I really couldn't answer. I didn't know what he did for living. I couldn't imagine that workshop job brought in much money, so I had to figure he did something else besides that. I didn't know what he did for fun except, again, the workshop stuff. I didn't know if he wanted puppies or to be part of a pack. I didn't know what kind of education he had. All I could say about him was that he was good wolf with a beautiful wife – my dad seemed to very much approve of the fact that Senna is a kindergarten teacher. I even pictured her for him and he was all smiles as he told father how beautiful she is. I didn't dare show him what Nahuel looked like; I feared that if I did he'd call the stray up and tell him to stay the hell away from his puppy. I was determined to have them get to know the wolf before passing any sort of judgement... I didn't really know how to go about doing that, however.

When Nahuel arrived my heart was hammering and my lungs felt like they had bricks in them. I was practically squished against the window by the side of the door as my parents stared out at him. The wolf rode here on a big black motorcycle without a helmet – I'd be willing to bet the palace itself that if I asked why he didn't wear one he'd say something along the lines of 'I wouldn't be able to feel the wind in my hair if I did'.

He climbed off his bike while pulling off his leather coat and slung it over the seat. I couldn't help but smile as he rolled up the black sleeves of his button up shirt to his elbows, his wife had clearly dressed him. He wore a nice pair of dark blue jeans with not a hole in sight with a decent pair of black boots and peeking out of the black button up was a white under shirt.

Nahuel stepped away from his motorcycle and toward the palace while running a hand through his windblown hair. Suddenly, he stopped, and as he bit his bottom lip he turned around to go back to his bike to rummage through a leather pouch in the search for something. "Watch it be a gun." My dad whispered.

"What?" I asked with a laugh. "Can't you hear his thoughts?"

My dad nodded from behind me and wrapped his cool arms around my shoulders and chest in a loving embrace. "Yes, and he's come to kill us all." He playfully lied.

I gazed over my shoulder to see father roll his eyes. "He doesn't look much like an assassin. I bet it's crack... he wants us to buy a big bag of crack." He jested. Turns out it was just a cigarette which he took over by the fountain where he could sit, and while he puffed on his smoke his boot anxiously tapped the drive – something told me he was a bit nervous to meet his kings. I couldn't blame him.

"Bad habit." My dad chastised. "And, tell me those things all over him aren't tattoos."

Father lightly chuckled. "Baby, I'm gonna have to say he wasn't born that way."

"But, neck tattoos?" He sighed in question. "Seriously?"

I grinned at the wolf sitting outside. "I think they're kind of hot." I confessed.

My dad stiffened and dropped his arms from me. "You're kidding."

I shook my head and smiled innocently. "Nope."

My father gave my shoulder a squeeze. "Well, I definitely know what to get for Paul next Christmas." He joked with a grin.

"Ryan, from the things you showed me in your mind I_ thought _his wife was a classy woman."

"Oh, she is." I assured my dad. "Here. Look." I said as I brought up memories of Nahuel's home. "Nahuel built Senna her dream house with the help of some family and friends."

I turned slightly to better see my dad and he smiled faintly. "I'm surprised. He's very skilled."

"Is it nice?" Father queried.

Dad nodded. "It's honestly beautiful. It's a wonderful home, though I'd never choose white carpets – not with you pigs." He happily jested, which was a huge breath of fresh air. My dad always seems so stern and sullen. It made everything on my inside feel fluffy and light to see him in a genuine good mood. It's been a long time coming, though I had to hope Nahuel doesn't put a damper on it.

I furrowed my thin brunette brows. "I'm not a pig." I insisted.

Dad shrugged and gave me the most handsome smile. "You're your father's son, it's only a matter of time."

My father gave my arm a nudge. "He's right, you know. Hopefully Paul will still put up with you when you inevitably become just like me." He teased.

Dad flicked his gaze to his husband. "Who are you trying to kid? Our puppy could be the antichrist and Paul would still think he's the most amazing thing on earth."

Father gave him a crooked little smile. "It's funny you say that. I bet there are a few people that would say that about me when it comes to you." He told him.

Dad smiled back at his mate. "Liar. I'm perfect and you know it." Hardly, dad... _hardly_.

My father sidestepped to press himself close to dad and wrap his arms around him while spoiling him with kisses against his cool neck and cheek. "You're only perfect to me, baby, only to me..." Their lips touched and I turned my head forward and my eyes out the window. "To everyone else you're one hot mess." Father murmured before giving dad more kisses on his mouth.

"I do suppose you're right." Dad whispered in reply as he rested on father's shoulder. I almost wanted to applaud my dad for finally admitting that he's not quite right and it actually felt good to know that he's not clueless to the fact that he's what I said... _not quite right_.

With a I sigh I brought my attention back to Nahuel just in time to see him flick his cigarette butt into fountain and light another. For some reason it made me chuckle – for such a goodhearted wolf he really lacked respect sometimes; like at the ice cream parlour. "That's disgusting and rude. Why would he do that?" My dad complained.

I shrugged. "I don't know, you're the mind reader."

"Yes, but he didn't even think about it. Who _does_ something like that?"

My father chortled at my dad's ridiculousness. "I know, baby, it's sick, but the world is full of injustices."

"Don't mock me!" Dad snapped and I looked over my shoulder to see his nose all crinkled and his two eyebrows pinched together. "Why is he smoking another cigarette anyway? Is he trying to kill himself? His lungs must be made of tar... I hate to think what he smells like. If he's just going to stink up the place I don't want him coming inside." And just like that there went my dad's good mood. I really didn't know whether to blame myself, Nahuel, or father for that.

My father let out annoyed huff of breath. "Ed, why don't you try not giving a fuck for once?"

Dad gazed at his husband with a stunned expression. "What that wolf did was extremely disrespectful." He hissed in retort.

"And, you're, what, the embodiment of respect?" Father quipped in frustration. "As far as you're concerned everybody should respect you, yet you seem to think you owe them nothing in return because you're king and you're _better_ than them. Well, fuck that and fuck you for being such a self-righteous asshole. You said yourself that Nahuel wasn't thinking. I don't have to invade his privacy to know the wolf out there is nervous as fuck and that's why he's smoking another cigarette. Is he trying to kill himself? No, he's probably praying to every god known to man that _we_ don't kill him since he gave the prince booze last night. I know you're in his head picking it to pieces, so does that sound about right, _dear_?"

My dad's lips tightened into a straight line as he swallowed uncomfortably. "That's exactly right." He answered under his breath.

"Then why the fuck are you making a big deal out of something you know damn well isn't any sort of deal at all?" Father angrily questioned and all he got was a shrug in reply. He leaned in close to dad's face and scowled. "Because you're a dick, that's why! You've become a mean man, Edward, and Paul is just one of many examples of how heartless you can be."

Fury crossed my dad's face. "Everything regarding Paul I did because it was in the best interest of our son!" He snarled.

"No!" Father shouted, causing me to startle "Everything you did, you did to make _yourself_ feel better! When are you going to take a good hard look at yourself and realize that all you're doing projecting your insecurities onto others. It's like you're some pathetic high school bully who picks on everybody weaker than you – for Christ's sake, look at what you've done to your own fucking brother! Yet, you know what, that's not even the worst of it. It truly disturbs me that you seem to have no problem using lies and manipulation to get your way." He paused and sucked in a quavering breath while shaking his head. "Where the fuck did my sweet and innocent Edward Anthony go? Where the fuck did you go?!" He emotionally exclaimed, yet dad didn't so much as bat an eyelash.

My father ran his hands through each side of his cropped hair and pressed on his eyes to keep prickling tears at bay. "Way back when, Ed, you'd have welcomed Nahuel into our home with open arms while I bitched to my heart's content. You know what you would have told me?" He asked and dad shook his head no. "You'd have told me everybody makes mistakes and deserves a second chance and that we need to get to know him before any judgements can be made. You'd have been insulted for him if I commented anything remotely rude about his appearance or his smoking. Also, earlier today when I was so angry with Ryan you'd have calmed me down by telling me our boy is growing up, he's getting a life, and part of becoming an adult is doing stupid and senseless things that we learn from."

Without saying a word or making so much as a sound dad turned his back to us and headed toward the right staircase while I swivelled my body to face the foyer. "You're just going to walk away then, huh?" Father hollered at his imprint as he started up the stairs without so much as a slight response. "Fucking coward! Fucking Prick! If I knew you were going turn into such shit I'd have never changed the law and kept you my slave!" He yelled so loudly the veins in his neck bulged along with one on his temple and the guards in the doorways winced. That caught my dad's attention and at the top of the staircase he eyed his mate with the most pitiful, pathetic, and apologetic look on his face, yet my father was having none of it. "Screw off, I don't even want to look at you! You disgust me! You hear that?! You fucking disgust me!" In a flash my dad disappeared and my father slammed his back against the front door only to slide down it to sit on the floor, and with his knees slightly propped he screamed heart wrenchingly into the palms of his hands.

My eyes were wide and my heart was pounding – I had no damn idea what to do. Half of me wanted to console my father while the other wanted to run after my dad, though stupidly enough the only thing that kept crossing my mind was: Well, so much for father thinking his mate is perfect.

My father peeked up from his hands with watery eyes. "Christ, Ryan, I'm so fucking sorry. You shouldn't have heard _any_ of that."

"It's okay." I murmured.

He shook his head. "It's not, it's really not. I don't know what happened, I just fucking exploded – your dad didn't even really do anything, but I knew with his attitude he was going somewhere ugly. He would have said awful things about that wolf without any knowledge of the guy and when Nahuel comes inside he would have treated him like garbage." He scrubbed his face with his hands and sighed. "I just can't stand this anymore. I only get mere moments with my imprint on what feels like the rarest occasions, the rest of the time he's just the shell of the boy he used to be." Tears welled in my father's eyes and when he blinked they fell. I knew I couldn't walk away from him now and go after my dad, tears seemed to be my ultimate weakness.

I flicked my eyes to the window to check on Nahuel who was still sitting at the fountain and I prayed that he'd take his time while I sat beside my father and linked arms with him. "When Ed was around your age he was so fucking perfect, Ryan, and I'm not saying that because he's my imprint, I'm saying it because it's true. I swear on the kingdom that he was the most beautiful and lovely man there was. He was such a fucking man too – so mature and full of wisdom despite his upbringing. I often forgot he was so young and that he was raised in a laboratory... and that he followed my dad's orders and killed innocent people to keep us all alive. You'd honestly never know these things unless he told you. He was so wonderfully put together, but now I can't help but think he was just wonderfully good at holding himself together." He buried his face in his hands to hide his pain from me. All I could think of to do was hug his arm tightly and rest my head against his shoulder. "He slowly came unravelled and I feel like the worst husband ever because of it. There was red flag after red flag, yet I never said a thing because I didn't want to upset or insult him, and I just figured if something was wrong he'd come to me. He's never, and I mean never come to me with a problem of his own. I guess that should have been a red flag in and of itself. I don't know how I let this happen to him. I don't know how I let it get so bad."

"But, what about him allowing Riley to go to the hospital and lightening up Paul?" I enthusiastically questioned. "He was really nice to Charlie too. Maybe he's getting better."

My father shook his head no with his face staying covered. "We had a huge argument about Riley last night... one of many actually. I threatened that if he didn't keep his trap shut and let Riley go with Eric I'd order the guards that are wolves to physically restrain him and take him down to purgatory for the night. No matter how much he kicked up a fuss there wouldn't be a fucking thing he could do to stop an alpha order. If he didn't listen I'd have done it too. You're right about Paul and Charlie, that was his own doing. I don't know why he lied to you about the Charlie thing... maybe to get you to grasp the severity of the situation." His shoulders sagged and shook as he began to cry. "I want the guy I married back so badly." He whimpered through his tears. "I miss him."

As I pushed my father's hands away from his face and tried to clean him up, startling worries got the better of me, all of which made me feel sick to my stomach. "You wouldn't ever leave dad would you?" I asked feeling panicked. I had to know.

Father's head whipped to the side to look at me and his tears dried instantly. "No! No no, fuck no! Never, puppy. Don't ever think such a thing. It's impossible. I don't care how long it takes, I'll make sure your dad gets better. Gets happy. You'll see." He vehemently assured me and he stood to his feet, pulling me with him while he wiped at his face with his spare hand. "Shit, I'm the most inappropriate fucking dad there is."

I smirked at my father trying to brighten the dark mood that surrounded us. "You're just figuring that out?"

He smiled at me, although I could still see the hurt in his eyes. "It's crossed my mind a time or two. I really shouldn't have told you any of this, though. I'd tell you to forget about it, but like that would do me any good."

"Well, if it counts for anything I'd rather talk to you during an emotional crisis instead of having a conversation about sex and the like any day. I hate to see you upset, though, father, some of the things you say..."

His smile turned into a genuine one. "You don't like it when I talk about cock and ass?" He queried and I shook my head no with my cheeks turning pink. "Too bad, get used to it. You know I have no filter."

I nodded and sighed while taking a peek out the window. "Nahuel's coming." I informed him.

"Okay, give me fifteen minutes or so to clean myself up. Show him around the palace or something then bring him to my office, we can chat there." Father instructed and he leaned down to give me a kiss on the forehead before walked away from me. Under the arch of the hallway entrance he turned around and smiled at me. "Thanks for listening, pup. I owe you one."

I smiled back. "I'm not a puppy."

"Fine, young man it is."


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter Forty-six  
**

After a brief tour of the palace and me fervently promising that my parents hadn't had someone killed like Nahuel kept teasing – he'd heard my father's screams from where he'd sat at the fountain – I knocked on my parents' office door. When father called for us to come in I prayed dad was in there with him and they were being all lovey-dovey and apologetic, but when I opened the door I was disappointed to see that dad was nowhere in sight. Normally I'd be happy to have him absent in a situation like this, yet all I could do was worry about him. He should be here making Nahuel miserable, me embarrassed, and my father frustrated – I'd pick that over my dad hurting alone in his room... upset people do stupid things. I love my dad more than any words in any language could ever explain. If he did something to himself... no, that's just idiotic thinking. Father, Rachel, and I are his life – he'd never leave us. I don't doubt he'd take out the entire kingdom to keep us all together. Maybe he's a selfish man for it, but there's nobody in this world that could ever possibly make me feel more loved than him. Not Paul, not even my own biological father or mother. My dad loves me, he always loved me, he's fought for me since they day he laid eyes on me, and all because of him I have the life I do now. My dad might be a grump more often than not, but I think I just realized I really do take him for granted.

When Nahuel and I entered the office father didn't so much as look up from his desk, and instead he was hurriedly scribbling something down on a piece of paper while motioning with his free hand for us to sit down at the little seating area to the right of the door. The two of us sat on the white leather couch furthest from the door, there was a matching one ahead of us and an African black wood table with white painted engravings of wolves on the legs between the two with a clear glass bowl of candy that I knew my father liked to pick at.

Nahuel, who was to my right, appeared rather stiff and uncomfortable. He leaned in close to me and put his lips by my ear. "I didn't know it was so strong." He whispered.

I furrowed my brows. "What's strong?" I whispered back.

"His majesty's dominance."

My eyes brightened and I smiled. "Oh!" I said with a laugh and shook my head. "Ignore it. It's basically just for decoration. It makes you think he's some big mean brute when it reality he's actually a huge softy. Got to keep up appearances, you know. Couldn't have the kingdom thinking the alpha of alphas is a pansy."

"Hey! Who're you calling a pansy?" My father playfully questioned as he tucked the paper he'd been writing on and a few others that were spread around him neatly into a file folder. "I'll have you know I can kick some serious ass if need be."

I nodded and flicked my gaze to Nahuel. "He's right... don't piss him off." The wolf's silvery-blue eyes widened and he swallowed anxiously. I honestly wanted to hit myself. It was meant to be a joke – clearly I am not funny and perhaps a little socially inept.

With a slight breathy laugh my father plopped down on the sofa in front of us and he leaned forward to grab an orange flavoured lollipop from the bowl. "Sorry, I wasn't trying to ignore you guys. Ed and I are working on revising some old laws – lo and behold I was struck with a good idea."

"What a rarity." I jested.

"Fuck..." Father breathed as he flicked the lollipops wrapper onto the table. "Don't I know it." His eyes slowly went to the tattooed wolf that sat at my side. "So, _Nahuel_, what makes a guy like _you_ want to spend time with a boy like _my _son?" He intimidatingly queried. Although, the effect was pretty much lost when he popped the candy in his mouth while he leaned back on the sofa as he put his bare feet on the edge of the small table. Father hardly looked menacing, which is good, because that meant he's not trying to be. Lord knows he could look frightening if he tried, but sitting there in his black muscle shirt and forest green cargo cutoffs he seemed like the picture perfect image of laid back.

The poor wolf's brightly coloured hands fidgeted in his lap and his boot tapped the black shag carpet that covered the Pietra Firma floor tiles that made up the office floor as he thought way too hard for the right answer. "I've met an awful lot of alphas. My brother is one and couple good buddies are as well, but I've never met an alpha like Herc before. I find him intriguing."

My father quirked a brow. "Herc?" He asked with a bump under his cheek from the lollipop pressing against it from the inside of his mouth.

I plastered a happy grin on my face. "Short for Hercules." I informed him while feeling a bit smug.

Nahuel looked over at me and smiled before turning his attention back to my father. "Yeah, the boys started callin' him that last night and it stuck. Herc's stronger than an ox, plus he's got a low center of gravity. If someone taught him how to fight he could knock wolves and vamps over like bowling pins." The wolf flicked his eyes back to me. "Randall owns a shitty little crack shack of a gym... minus the actual crack, but let me tell ya, it sure looks like the place to go if you're lookin' for a speedball. He could teach ya how to fight if you wanted. He gets some pretty cocky no-good characters looking for a wrestle in the ring too. I'd bet my left leg he'd love to see some of those schmucks get their asses beat by you, _the prince._ It'd be epic, they'd never see it comin'."

My father sat in his seat appearing almost too stunned for words. He leaned forward as he dropped his feet to the floor and took the candy from his mouth. "Did you just suggest that my puppy should learn to fight so he could beat thugs up in the ghetto?" He deadpanned in question. It sounds quite terrible, but wouldn't it be awesome?

Nahuel's jaw clenched and he cocked his head from side to side. "More or less..." He admitted with an awkward chuckle and a shrug. "He really should learn to fight, though. Cryin' all the time isn't gonna do him any good."

My cheeks flamed and my father looked pissed. "Are you telling _me_ how to raise _my_ son?!" He angrily and loudly growled.

The wolf's heart took off in a frenzy. "No no, _fuck that_! I just think knowing how to protect himself would give Herc the confidence to defend himself when goofs like the ones yesterday come along."

Father's brows pinched together, his anger starting to dissipate. "What happened yesterday?" He inquired.

"Nothing!" I hurriedly insisted.

My father eyed me and shook his head. "Liar." He snapped, and he moved his gaze back to Nahuel. "What happened?"

"Um..." The wolf looked to me and caught my eyes, which I immediately squeezed shut and prayed to the lord above that the wolf not say anything. "Christ..." He sighed. "I'm sorry, your majesty, but my loyalty lies with the prince."

I popped my eyes open to take a peek at my father. "Hmm..." He hummed while he stared intently at Nahuel. "You'd deny your king's request just to keep Ryan's trust?"

"Yes." The wolf didn't hesitate in the slightest to say that three letter word.

My father sat back in his seat looking rather amused. "Has anyone ever accused you of being an idiot?"

Nahuel's Adam's apple bobbed beneath his tattooed skin as he swallowed. "All the time actually." He admitted and with another awkward chuckle.

Father chuckled as well. "Yeah, judging by the looks of you I'm not surprised."

"Dad!" I hissed. Sometimes father is just too long of a word, and _judging_ by the look on Nahuel's face he didn't appreciate what his king just said.

My father paid no mind to me. "What do your parents think of you?" He questioned.

The wolf beside me appeared annoyed. "Let me clarify something, are you asking what my parents think of _me,_ or what they think of what I _look _like?"

Father shrugged. "Both." He chirped with a grin and stuck his lollipop back in his mouth.

Nahuel's nostrils flared as he inhaled a deep breath. "My parents have always encouraged my brother and I to express ourselves however we wanted. They were and still are adamant that we shouldn't give a shit what _anybody_ thinks, and that we gotta be the wolves we want to be. I visit them every Sunday for lunch with my missus, and sometimes, when my mom can tell that somethin' is bothering me, and when no one is in the room she'll turn to me. She'll do this thing where she touches my hair, it's the most comforting thing in the world, and she'll smile, but it's always a sad smile, and say: _My sweet baby boy, the things you've seen..._Whenever she says that I know she gets it, and me for that matter.

"An hour or so before the missus and I take off my dad brings me out in the yard to toss around the football. He knows it reminds of when I was young, eight or nine, and believed the world was perfect. Sometimes he'll even throw a few things on the barbeque since the scent reminds me of such good times. Times when I was carefree, worriless, and I didn't understand the first thing about the horrors some people are capable of committing. When I chuck that football around with my dad I know he gets it, and when he turns that barbeque on I especially know he gets me." He paused to suck in another breath and when he exhaled he scowled, and I believe at my father. "You don't know me, your majesty, you've only gotten a mere glimpse of the outside. My parents love both me and my brother very much and they are proud of us as well – they say as much each time we see them."

As my father removed the candy from between his lips as he once again chuckled. It honestly made me wish I could send him to purgatory for a few hours time out. "I guess I can see why they're proud – you had nowhere to go but up." Oh god... I seriously think my father just insinuated Nahuel's parents are poor white trash.

The wolf's brows pinched together. "Sorry, I don't follow."

"What kind of home do your parents _rent_?" Father asked and Nahuel's face contorted in understanding, but also anger.

"A trailer, what else?" He lied, and I know he lied because I saw a family photo when he was just a small boy with his brother outside a cute family home stuck to his refrigerator. I had asked who the kids were; I'd have never guessed it was them, and he also specifically mentioned that the house was the home he grew up in, which his parents owned.

My father laughed this time. "Well, better than a tent!" He teased.

"I happen to love camping." Nahuel deadpanned.

Father smiled obnoxiously at the wolf. He _knew_ he was getting under his skin. "Can't say I've ever been. Sleeping on _dirt_ is no place for a king."

"No, it certainly isn't, plus it'd be such a _shame _if you woke with a crook in your neck." Nahuel sarcastically remarked. He looked to me for a moment and smiled fondly before giving his attention back to my father. "Herc here definitely enjoyed his night under the stars, though. The prince slept with us common folk right on the grass which I'm sure had _bugs_ and _gross _things crawlin' and wriggling about in it. The future king may be smaller, but at least he's got bigger balls." My eyes widened and so did my father's. There was no doubt in my mind that he was implying that my father was a pussy. Although, I've got to admit, I liked what he said about me and I especially liked the way he smiled – now if only he'd shift and bare his neck to me.

"That, or he passed out _drunk_." My father snapped at him.

With blushing cheeks I shook my head. "I held my liquor quite well. I can remember falling asleep beside Nahuel when he was pointing out all the constellations."

Nahuel turned his head my way. "Yeah, I bored ya right to sleep." He said with a laugh.

I grinned at the lovely stray. "That's only because nothing looked like what you said it was supposed to."

The wolf shook his head and chuckled lightly. "No, they all did – you just lack imagination. It's like you were locked away in some room for half your childhood, I bet you can't even build bunnies outta clouds." He joked, though it was hardly a joke... not that he knew it.

I felt the blood drain from my face and saw my father turn a little pale. "No..." I said with a breathy little feigned laugh. "That would be stupid."

Nahuel flicked his eyes between my father and me. He was clearly putting the pieces together since the atmosphere in here fell cold and uncomfortable, plus I'm a shit liar when I'm put on the spot. "Yeah... okay." He said a bit unsurely, yet at least he dropped it.

My father cleared his throat. "So, do you do drugs?" He quickly queried and he went back to sucking on his orange flavoured candy.

The wolf appeared insulted and taken aback. "Do I look like a fuckin' junkie to you?"

Father raised his brows and smiled. "Really want me to answer that?" He quipped with his lollipop pressed against the inside of his cheek.

"Nah, you just see my outside and figure I'm the _type_ to do 'em. And, for your information if ya can name it, I've tried it, but I haven't done a damn thing since the day I got married." He truthfully replied, although my father didn't seem convinced. "Would you like my piss in a cup, _your majesty_?"

My father took the lollipop from his mouth and scowled at the wolf. "I'd advise against putting words in your kings mouth, dog." He sternly stated. I honestly didn't know if he was pulling Nahuel's leg or if dad had possessed him. "My family and I are royalty, and I don't think your pea sized brain can comprehend that. I should receive _nothing_ but respect from you, yet the more your lips flap the more disrespectful you get. Do you not understand who _I_ am? Do you not understand whose presence you are _fucking_ sitting in? With the snap of my fingers I could have one of the guards outside the door split you in two and I don't even have to have a reason for it. As far as I'm concerned you're a disease that has latched onto my puppy and if you have any sense at all, you'll walk out of my office, out of my home, and never set foot near my boy again." This was _not _my father. He's screwing with him. Baiting him. Testing him. Nahuel called my father, well, implied that my father, the king, is a pussy – that took guts. I can only assume my father wants to either make a man or a bitch of him. If he's a bitch and walks, good riddance. If he's a man and talks, he'll be impressed.

Nahuel's eyes flicked to mine, the wheels in his head clearly turning. He stared at me completely expressionless and I could feel that he was assessing me... judging me. 'Was Herc worth the possibility of getting into a lot of trouble?' That's what I felt like he was thinking, and to be honest I wanted to know, and I knew my father did too.

Very abruptly he snapped his gaze back to his king. "Yeah, I understand who you are and I get that I should act like you're the be-all and end-all. I know I should want to please ya and I figure I ought to be happy that you've even given me the chance to come here and plead my case 'cause of last night. But, my king, I'm not happy and I'm no actor. I can't sit here and pretend you're some divine being, that's my missus. I personally don't give a rat's ass if I please you or not, nor do I care how you treat me, but I s'pose ya should know that whatever amount of respect you give me will be the exact amount you receive in return. The fact that you've got some fancy title doesn't mean shit to me, or anybody I know. You oughta come down to my neck of the woods and hang with the boys for day – I'd like to see you treat 'em like you do me. You might be alpha of all alphas, but you'd also be a bruised and bloody fucking mess." My father opened his mouth to speak, though Nahuel cut him off. "I'm _not_ finished." He growled.

Father's brows rose and a disbelieving smile formed on his face. "Carry on then."

The wolf sighed and wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans. "I'll admit it, you do intimidate me – mainly because ya could order me to throw myself into freeway traffic at any moment and there's not a damn thing I could do about it. I can also admit that at first glance I'm probably the epitome of what you _don't _want around Herc. I know I look like some no-good punk... or ruffian – that's what my grandma always says. I've got a filthy mouth, lack tact, have some questionable friends, and I probably do some questionable things from time to time, but with all that said I'm fucking loyal and I've got this kid's back." He professed as he pointed with his thumb towards me. "When I met Herc at the workshop he reminded me _exactly _of myself at one point in my life. It's _not_ fun feeling weak. It's _not _fun thinkin' you're helpless. It's _not _fun putting up with other peoples bullshit. And, it really fucking sucks to feel like you're trapped in a big bad world with no escape. I can say from experience that all it takes is _one _person to show you that in a world you're terrified of, there are things to love, things to cherish, things to look forward to, and things you should never fucking _ever_ take for granted." I felt stunned... absolutely shocked. I reminded the wolf of himself? How did he know I felt so completely and utterly lost?

I wondered how Nahuel felt about personal contact. He let me give him few small friendly nuzzles at the party and even gave me one back. I do hope he really meant what he said because there was just no way I could stop myself from putting my hand in his larger one and lacing my fingers with his. I had to make this wolf mine, he _had_ to be part of my pack – there's just no way I'd let him go. Nahuel gave me a minute smile while he let me put his hand on my lap so I could hold it with my other hand as well.

I smiled back and nodded for him to keep on talking if that's what he wanted to do. He definitely did. "So, what this all boils down to is that I don't really give a shit if you're king or god, that means nothing to me. I can respect that you're Herc's father, and I do, but there's still that wee bit of me that, again, just doesn't give a shit. If you ask that I do one thing, yet the prince wants the opposite, take a wild guess which direction I'm going in. I'm Herc's friend, not yours. I'm there for him, not you, and if you've got a problem with this, then with all due respect, _your majesty_, you can go fuck yourself." My eyes widened, my jaw dropped, and my hand clenched around the wolf's... the stray just told my father to go fuck himself. He just told the king to go fuck himself. Dear lord, he just told the alpha of all alphas to go fuck himself!

Father nonchalantly sucked on his lollipop while he stared at Nahuel with squinted eyes and slowly, but surely, he removed the candy from his mouth. "I can't say I'll be fucking myself anytime soon. I have a husband for that." He paused for a moment, inhaled a breath and shook his head. "Nahuel, part of me really wants to hate you, part of me really wants to throw you down in purgatory and never think of you again, and part of me certainly wishes my son never met you. However, there's a small slice of me that has to admire how big your fucking balls are; those things really are massive." After a huff of breath my father showed his true emotions and grinned as he pointed his lollipop toward the wolf. "I happen to goddamn love that you have the guts to assert yourself and treat me like a prick when I'm acting like one. If you were to drop Ryan like a hat and be at my beck and call... Mmm, nope, I'd think you're kinda dodgy. Also, jesus fuck, dude, if you can stand up to me like that I can only happily imagine what you'd do if someone treated my boy badly around you."

I perked up and smiled. "He'd kick their ass... and he did, yesterday. The vampire got a boot right to the face!"

"Seriously?" My father queried and Nahuel nodded yes. "Who?"

The wolf smirked. "My brother-in-law."

"Ha-ha! Yeah! That's what I'm fucking talking about!" My father giddily exclaimed and he heartily laughed, although his laughter was cut short by the door opening, and I do believe the blood drained right from my face, down my neck, past my shoulders and pooled in my feet when I saw my dad coming in. I know he had to have heard what Nahuel said to father and I wouldn't doubt that he'd come in here to kill him for it.

When dad closed the door behind him and came toward the couch I couldn't help but notice something extremely odd about him. He wasn't wearing his normal dress pants and a dress shirt, nor was he wearing any of father's clothes like he does when he's down, instead he donned a plain grey t-shirt with a plain black hoodie thrown over top and a pair of light coloured blue jeans, also to top it all off, white socked feet, no shoes. I didn't even know he owned that type of clothing. It was weird and even kind of freaky, he looked the age he was stuck, seventeen. He looked good, fresh faced, and extremely youthful. In his fancy clothes he always appeared so hard and stiff and definitely seemed ten times his age. Yet, the more I gazed at him now the less I saw of the strict and demanding dad that I've gotten so used to. I honestly didn't know who, or _what_ I was looking at.

Nahuel stood to greet him and I feared the wrath of my dad, yet almost lost my lunch because I went into some sort of dumbfounded shock when my dad shook his hand, meaning he _touched _him. Plus, he also gave him a _friendly_ smile. "Nahuel I take it?" He questioned.

The wolf nodded. "Yes, Nahuel Hunter, your grace."

My dad's smile broadened as he let go of the wolf's hand. "Ed or Edward will do just fine." He quite _nicely_ told him.

My eyes darted over to my father and he caught me looking at him. "_What the fuck?_" I mouthed to him.

"_Beats me_." He mouthed back with a shrug of his shoulders. My eyes returned to my dad as he sat near father, and Nahuel came back beside me. My parents met each others gaze and held it for a few moments before dad softly smiled at him. Father smiled lovingly in response and scooted close to his imprint to happily nuzzle his warm russet cheek against a milky coloured cool one. After a few more nuzzles dad gave his husband tender kisses on the lips which evoked the most priceless expression on Nahuel's face – something told me he had never seen two guys kiss so lovingly before. He by no means appeared disgusted, though I couldn't say he looked the opposite. My guess was that it's a 'Two _kings_ are getting all gay together and I should probably act oblivious to it, yet I can't help but stare.' kind of look. It was truthfully pretty cute, and Nahuel is far from cute – ruggedly handsome I'd say.

When everything settled my father slung an arm around his imprint and stuck his lollipop back in his mouth while my dad cleared his throat. "Okay." Dad said as he placed all his attention on Nahuel. "Ready for a good grilling?"

The wolf nodded. "Ready as I'll ever be."

"Good, I'll be nice. _I promise_." My green eyes widened with my dad's words; they made me feel extremely uneasy. He was acting way too calm and collected in a situation where he normally wouldn't be. Worse yet, he _seems_ kind. I seriously fear he's going whip out a gun and shoot the wolf all to bits – that would explain the loose fitting hoodie.

Dad suddenly flicked his crimson eyes to mine. "Ryan, I'm not going to kill him." Yeah, he says that _now_. Let's see how he's doing in fifteen minutes. Wait a minute...

_'Why are you in my head? You promised long ago you'd stay out of it unless I give you permission.' _I thought for my dad to hear. Of course he _promised_ he'd stay out of my head, but did I think he usually did? Not a chance.

My dad sighed. "Puppy, I try. It's not like I can just flick a switch in my head and not hear you. I have to actively concentrate to tune you out. It slipped my mind, I was thinking about Nahuel and what questions to ask him." I nodded, accepting this answer. Not that I had any choice in the matter. I certainly felt guilty for expecting my dad to stop doing something that was out of his control, though. But, in all seriousness, I really do hate him in my head, especially when I'm trying really hard to not think of things I really shouldn't, yet because I'm trying to avoid thinking certain stuff I accidentally think about said stuff I shouldn't be thinking. Does that make sense? I fear the day my dad hears me thinking about how I loved touching Paul's big pen- _pens_... Touched Paul's big collection of pens.

Dad's eyes shot daggers at me and I could tell he was fighting a scowl. "You and the owner of that big _pen_ collection will be here in this office tomorrow morning at eight A.M. andnot a minute later." He firmly and sternly instructed. Oh, the sweet smell of 'some things never change'. "Why didn't he stop you? I am _not_ pleased that I just saw my puppies hands all over his collection. He needs to keep it to _himself_."

"Maybe he likes to share." Nahuel quipped while trying to hold back a cheeky smirk. He clearly caught the euphemism and I found it hard not to laugh. My dad, however, did _not _look very amused.

Father turned to his mate appearing extremely perplexed. "What the fuck are you talking about, babe?" He queried.

Dad looked at his husband and smiled fondly. I think he thought it was cute that father didn't understand. "His imprinter's cock." He told him. A shiver ran down my spine – one should never have to hear their parent say cock, especially in reference to their boyfriend with a friend present.

Father furrowed his dark brows and appeared even more confused. "Whose, Ryan's?"

"Well, hun, for Christ's sake, I'm certainly not talking about Nahuel having a male imprinter. He's already thought about his wife's breasts twice since I've been in here – the only cock he'll ever play with is his own."

Nahuel nudged my arm and gave me a goofy smile. "He's good, and also extremely lucky he's gay or I'd have to kick his ass out of principle for seeing my missus nude." He whispered to me.

"So, wait..." Father breathed and I do believe I saw a light bulb turn on above his head. "Ryan got his wolf off?" I also believe my cheeks just about burst into flames. If I could sink into the couch and disappear for good, I would.

Disgust radiated from my dad and I could practically feel in prickling my skin. "Yes." He answered under his breath.

My father's eyes brightened. "Oh my fucking god! That's fucking great!" He cried in excitement.

"What?!" Dad exclaimed. "Don't praise the boy, you dick!"

Father shook his head. "I'm not praising him. I'm praising his frigid prude of a wolf. And, don't call me a dick, you _bitch_." He flicked his gaze to me and pointed at me with his lollipop. "Bad puppy!"

My dad rolled his eyes. "Oh, you sure told him!" He hollered, which stunned both father and I – dad _never_ yells. I swear the last time he did was on the cliffs when he sent Eric for a fly and a swim. "And, don't call me a bitch, you fuck."

"Well, what the hell would you have me do, Ed? Do you really think anything we say or think is going to deter him now that they've started fooling around? Fuck no! Christ almighty, Edward, when you were seventeen I screwed you like two or three times a day, you were insatiable – for fuck's sake you still are! You act like sex or anything that could lead to is some forbidden thing! You're the biggest fucking hypocrite I know because you love it, you can't get enough of it, and you'd be one poor miserable sod if you couldn't have it! I should slap a chastity belt on you and see how long you last. My guess? A day and a half, max." He paused and inhaled an angry breath of air while I desperately tried to erase everything I just heard from my memory. "Oh, and I wouldn't call you a bitch if you didn't act like such a crazy PMSing _cow_ all the time."

"A cow?! You think I'm a fucking cow?" Dad loudly growled in question.

My father nodded. "Yeah, a fucking cow!" He hissed. "Or a lamb." He said with a sudden smile. "You could definitely be a lamb."

Dad's brows pinched together and his nose crinkled. "A lamb? Why a lamb?"

My father's hand that was attached to the arm that still rested around my dad's shoulders came up so he could run his fingers through his imprint's dishevelled strands of hair. "Because they taste good and I think they're kinda cute."

Dad shook his head to rid himself of his mate's hand. "Oh no,_ no_. You're not going to calm me down by comparing me to a barnyard animal!"

My father didn't seem fazed at all by the rejection and he leaned into his mate to press chaste kisses to his neck and cheek. "Fine, I'll be a good boy from now on." He promised.

Dad scoffed and pushed away his husband. "Liar." He huffed

Father grinned. "It's the thought that counts."

"Uh-huh... yeah, okay." Dad shook his head once again, this time seeming irritated. He sighed as he leaned forward to put his elbows on his knees and scrub his hands across his face. "I wish I could kill that dog sometimes." He grumbled into his pale hands.

"My wolf?" I timidly asked.

Dad nodded as he once again sighed against his palms. "I won't... mainly because that pitiful cur has such crap luck I'd probably botch it and screw him up even more." After a few moments of silence he sat up and gazed at me with a mix of emotions on his face. "I don't even know what to say to you."

Nahuel cleared his throat to gain my dad's attention. "If it makes ya feel better Herc mentioned yesterday that he and his boyfriend were taking things pretty slow. I don't know _what_ teenage boy would lie about that."

"Thanks, Nahuel." My dad sighed. "That actually does put my mind at ease." Well I'll be damned. "We need a drastic subject change... Do you want pups one day?"

The wolf nodded. "Definitely, and they'll be little hell raisers for sure. It'll be awesome!" He said with a grin. "Senna, my wife, had bunch of her eggs removed and frozen before she was turned so we could have our own one day. They'll be our super mutts – they're gonna be gorgeous."

Dad chuckled. "Super mutts?"

Again the wolf nodded and laughed along with him. "I'm clearly no purebred. My great grandfather was, but I guess he had a thing for white women and so did the few generations after him. Me? Nah, I've got myself a dark skinned beauty of African descent, and she's the most beautiful thing there is. I'm tellin' ya, we're gonna have gorgeous super mutts – no thanks to me of course."

My dad smiled, get him talking about puppies or babies and you've hit his soft spot. "I agree, they will be gorgeous. Jake and I, we've talked about having another puppy." That I did _not_ know. "Not for a long while of course. Most likely when Rachel and Ryan are busy with their own families. I've been demanding that Jacob gives me another son one day, preferably just like the one we already have. If you could have seen Ryan as a tiny pup he would have made your heart melt; there truly was nothing as precious as him when he was small. Don't get me wrong, my daughter Rachel is just as much my world, but my puppy was the first child my eyes had ever seen in the flesh and he was the very first person I loved – you can never forget the way those two things make you feel." It's official, I really do take my dad for granted.

"I can only imagine. It's hard to believe you grew up in a lab. In the vampire community you're practically worshipped considering all you've accomplished. They're all aware that if it wasn't for you we'd still be under king William's reign and they'd either be slaves or treated like parasites. I have a few buddies that were slaves; they're pretty fuckin' bitter about it too. It's just one of those things ya don't talk about with them, but then on the flip side there's Randall. He was a slave owner."

"The alpha wolf who owns the gym?" My dad questioned.

"Yeah, you heard?" Nahuel asked.

Dad pointed to father. "This guy's mind never shuts up."

Father grinned with the lollipop in his mouth. "It's part of my charm."

Dad shook his head with a sigh. "So, tell me all about this Randall guy. Don't leave anything out." He requested with interest.

"Sure." The wolf happily replied with a nod and smile. "He's an old boy, couldn't tell ya how old since he doesn't even know himself. His wife at the time came from money, but dirty money, so he used to be surrounded by some pretty shady folks. I don't know exactly what he did to keep the cash flow comin' in – I've never asked mainly because I don't wanna know. It was crime, I can assure you that. He said they'd by cheap wolves from auctions and would make a huge profit off them since they'd do all the work and earn no pay. Anyway, the day came when slavery was made illegal which Randall says was the worst and best day of his life. The worst because he lost his four slaves – he'd owned them all for over a hundred years. Yet, the best because after all those years he'd grown attached to them and to see them all so excited to be free made him feel good to let them go.

"He said it was hardly a week later that the four of them showed up on his doorstep. They told him they hated the shelter that they had to stay at with all the other ex-slaves. They said they weren't like them, that they all despised their owners, had horror stories and felt vengeful. They explained that he'd been a kind owner, a friendly owner, and even a caring and loving owner. One of them went on to say that they all loved him, another said they all missed him, a third followed it up by admitting they disliked the bad things they were forced to do, and the forth asked Randall if he could be their alpha and take care of them... so long as the wolf would be good from then on out.

"Randall said he never coulda refused them and didn't even try to, but his wife wasn't so pleased about it, especially since he wouldn't get the jobs done that needed doing nor would he order his wolves to do any dirty work. I don't know exactly what went down since he was kinda vague. All I know is what he mentioned which wasn't much, just that his marriage was more a matter of convenience – she had the connections and he had the business skills. They decided it wasn't convenient anymore. It ended messily and she got everything. He didn't care much and was perfectly content to start over. Like I said he's got good business skills – you should see him in a suit; it'd knock your socks right off. He's rollin' in dough too. He owns four other gyms throughout the city, all of 'em high class and fancy – smoothie bars and everything. He wouldn't ever let any of the boys in one of those places either, not that we'd ever want to be there. Could you imagine me sittin' at a smoothie bar sipping some frou-frou drink with a bunch of richies? No, man, I'd rather slit my wrists. Anyway, like Randall promised he took care of his wolves and each of them has partial ownership and manages one. As for Randall himself, he has his butt ugly little back alley shit-hole of a gym that he fuckin' loves. It brings in the kind of people he's used to being around and who he's comfortable with, so I get it."

"Wow..." My dad breathed. Actually, make it puppies, babies, and slave talk that gets dad all mushy. "I'm a sucker for happily ever afters, so I'm a little speechless. I love that those wolves got their old master in order. Despite his previous lifestyle it sounds like he was good man, and I suspect an even better one now."

Nahuel nodded. "He's definitely a great wolf and good guy to look up to. He's helped out a lot of younger wolves and even some vamps that have stumbled into his gym; he gets them on the straight and narrow. He likes to pay it forward I guess."

"Just out of curiosity, why aren't you part of his pack?" Dad queried.

Nahuel shrugged and smiled. "His wolves would kill me. I know he wants me, but the four guys have made it very clear to me that he's theirs. Plus, I'm not interested." Praise the lord! One alpha down and one more to go!

_'__Dad!'_ I hollered in my mind. I figured if I was loud and he wasn't paying attention to me, he would be now. _'Ask him about Eleazar, please.'_

My dad ran a pale hand through his hair and messed it up a little, and just how father liked it. "What about your brother, Eleazar isn't it? He's an alpha, correct?"

"Yeah, Eleazar is an alpha, and a damn good one too." Nahuel proudly stated. "He's only three years older than me and when we were just young pups before either of us phased we had always planned on being a duo." He smiled as he clearly reminisced. "I can remember us begging our mom and dad to make us more brothers since we thought it would be pretty fuckin' wicked to be a pack of _real_ brothers." That happy smiled faded and turned into miniscule frown that appeared to be so devastatingly sad. "Obviously we didn't get anymore brothers and sadly enough plans can change." Now I felt terrible, I definitely couldn't celebrate this victory. Although, I was a little confused. Eleazar was very clearly fighting for his brother's attention at the party – there was no doubt in my mind that the alpha still wanted the stray.

My dad frowned unhappily as if he were sympathizing with the wolf. I didn't buy it. I wanted to buy it. If it was ten or so years ago I would. "Why did plans change?" He asked, and for once I was glad that he's so nosey.

Nahuel's eyes fell downcast as he inhaled a breath through his nose. "Because _Eleazar_ changed." He sighed, and forced his eyes back up to view that vampire king. "Is it safe to assume you want the details?" Dad unsurprisingly nodded yes to the question and nearly startling me out of my skin was a warm colourful hand that had come to rest on my own that I had sitting on my thigh. The wolf's fingers curled around the back of my hand and he gently pulled it to the space between us to have them lay together on the couch. "After my brother began shifting everything became different. He got that overinflated ego that a lot of alphas have and did a lot of stupid things to impress older alphas he started hangin' around with. Up until then he'd take me wherever he went – our mother often teased us that if she didn't know better she woulda thought she gave birth to conjoined twins. He took me all of once with him to meet these alphas and believe me when I say I had never been so excited in my life. I idolized my brother and in turn all alphas – my dad stopped shifting when he married my mom, so Eleazar was my role model when it came to being a wolf. I thought he was perfect. Fucking hell, I thought all alphas were these perfect creatures that were there to take care of littler wolves to be like me. I was a small pup, not tiny, but smaller.

"Anyway, I guess I was nine when I lost a lot of respect for alphas. These guys were mean, plain and simple. They started by laughing at me and cracking jokes, but I can easily remember the panic in Eleazar's eyes when they started gettin' rough with me and shoving me around. He had to choose sides, them or me... He didn't choose me. I didn't know what to think or feel when my brother joined in, but I guess I just took it. It's not like they did anything real bad; gave me a bunch of bruises is all – I think the memory sticks with me so much because I realized then just how imperfect Eleazar is. We never talked about it afterwards, he acted like nothing happened. I didn't hold a grudge or even hate him in the slightest, he was my big bro and I'd have forgiven him for anything or at least I thought I would.

"About six months later when I was ten I was home alone. Eleazar was supposed to be watching me but he'd taken off hours before with mom's car. I promised I wouldn't tell, and I meant it – he'd stolen it before without gettin' caught. Plus, I was perfectly content being home alone just lazing on the couch eating junk food and playing video games. But, shit got fucked and everything became this ginormous blur. There was the sound of screeching tires in the driveway, then yelling, and a wolf bustin' in through the door. I recognized him, he was one of the alphas that had roughed me up. I was so stunned I stayed still and he grabbed me by the arm to drag me out of the house. The first thing I saw was mom's car with a dented fender covered in blood and a smashed up windshield with even more. He took me to the driver's side where I saw my brother scrubbing the steering wheel with his shirt sleeves. When he got out they shoved me and pushed the seat up so my feet could reach the pedals, they told me to touch everything which I did without question. It wasn't until my brother told me I hit a young girl, brown hair and a pink shirt, that I could hear police sirens in the distance.

"The alpha was pulling at my brother tellin' him they had to get the hell out of there, and before they left Eleazar squeezed my shoulders and told me that if I ever wanted to be his beta I had to do this for him. He also said that since I was so young and always been such a good puppy I could get away with it and I'd be home in time for dinner. I believed him, of course I believed him, because he's my brother and _my _brother would _never _fucking lie to me.

"I can remember standing on the front lawn all by myself when the patrol cars showed up. Everything felt like it was in slow motion. The four doors were open to my mom's car so the cops took off in a bunch of different directions on foot while plenty more than needed got me. They weren't kind nor were they gentle with me... that's all I really have to say about that. I was scared shitless, but I lied through my teeth for my brother. Of course I fucking lied, I'd have done anything for him – I considered him my alpha.

"I had never heard my mom scream so loud in my life like she did at the police station. She knew I didn't do it, she knew my brother had put me up to it, but with my prints all over the steering wheel and a confession there was nothing she could do. Unbeknownst to me shit was pretty backwards back then. I never saw the inside of court room, instead that same afternoon my paperwork was faxed off to a judge so he could read it over and give his verdict. I was allowed to sit out with my family while we waited. My mom was a mess and held me so tight I could hardly breathe while she cried, whereas my dad was completely silent as he held my hand. Eleazar though, he just kept sneaking me winks. It made me think everything was going to be alright and when the police came out to give us the verdict at a quarter to five I thought he was right. I thought I'd be home for dinner, but instead I got five years in the state penitentiary. When the cops hauled me off in handcuffs I knew my brother thought he'd been telling the truth about me coming home. I could only assume that the other alpha convinced him I'd get away with it and they wouldn't. As they took me away my Eleazar was hollerin' at the top of his lungs that it was him that took the car, but it was the other guy that hit the girl. He even told them to check the video surveillance at a gas station they'd stopped at so they could see the other alpha driving and that I was never there. The police didn't care, as far as they were concerned the case was closed and reopening it would only mean more paperwork. I can honestly say that the second I walked into that prison I didn't want to be his beta anymore." The wolf inhaled a deep breath and sighed while he gave my hand a squeeze. "So, yeah, Eleazar and I are cool now, clearly, but it's just one of those things that I'll always be a bit spiteful for. But, like I said, he's a good wolf now and a fuckin' great alpha. He'll never be mine though."

I licked my lips to wet them as I gazed at the stray. Did they hurt him in there like they hurt my Paulie? "So, you spent five years in jail as just a small pup?" I queried.

"Oh, no." He said with a shake of his head. "I spent a whole three months locked away. Turns out a lady at my mother's work got on quite well with the wardens wife and she knew with a little _convincing_ the warden would let me walk out of the joint scott-free. My parents took a second mortgage out on the house, rallied friends and family, and even some neighbours together and for two-hundred grand cash the warden let me go."

"A friend of mine was sent to that prison." My dad informed Nahuel. "He was there about fifteen years ago. He told me what went on in there. I met him a few years after he got out, but Jake knew him beforehand. He's barely half the wolf he once was and he's just now been able to start moving on from it."

The wolf swallowed uncomfortably and his hand tightened painfully around mine. "Shitty." He breathed.

"When were you there?" Dad asked.

"Same as your friend."

My dad's brows furrowed. I don't think he quite believed him. "My friend was there only three months longer than you, yet you seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders."

Nahuel's hand began to feel clammy over top of mine and I could tell by it that my dad was touching on subjects the stray probably didn't particularly like talking about. "I deal." He replied with an anguished frown. "A day in that place is like an eternity in hell. Your friend spent roughly ninety more eternities in hell than I did, and depending on who he was, alpha, omega, or vamp, he'd have it harder. By the sound of it I'd bet money on him bein' an omega and probably young as well. If you ask me he's lucky he even made it out alive, though I bet ya more often than not he wishes he hadn't." I stared at the wolf while I turned my hand over to hold his just as tightly as he held mine. I prayed Paul would give him a chance – I'd love for my wolf to have someone in his life that actually understood his pain. I could only try to help and comfort Paul, but I'd _never_ completely understand.

My father eyed the wolf with a look on his face that I couldn't quite decipher. My guess was that my wolf was on his mind and he felt rather guilty. "You were only ten. How the fuck did you survive?" With his question my dad's eyes widened for a moment and the expression he wore was one of a sudden realization.

"Nahuel," Dad said as he slid forward on the couch to get a bit closer to us, or him more likely. "Someone protected you didn't they?"

The wolf's fingers laced with mine as he let out a huff of breath and scrubbed his other hand across his face and brushed it through his hair to pull the strands away from his eyes. "I haven't talked about this shit in years... never thought I would again either." Nahuel turned his gaze to me and his silvery-blue eyes seemed utterly pained. I lifted up our hands to close the empty space between us and to my surprise he leaned into me and nuzzled his cheek against my hair. I turned my head toward him and pressed my cheek against his to give him a nuzzle of my own. His eyes closed and he let out a tense sigh. "His name was Paul." He murmured, and immediately after his words I heard the crunch of my father's teeth biting through his lollipop.

I pulled my head back and looked into Nahuel's eyes as he opened them. "The same Paul that's on your back?" I queried.

The wolf nodded sadly. "He let me sleep with him on the bottom bunk every night. I always told him I was too cold to sleep alone – I'm sure he knew it was actually 'cause I was too terrified to let him out of my sight. He was my safety blanket and only because he wrapped me up all snug and tight in his arms was I able to sleep. He'd tell me all sorts of stories while I fell asleep so it'd take my mind off the bad things and I'd have good dreams. One night he described to me what he looked like in his wolf form, and I've never forgotten. I never wanted to forget. This way I could imagine him looking beautiful and strong, and not what they turned him into in there." I bit my bottom lip and turned my head away from him while I tried to hold back tears. That had to be my Paulie he was talking about, it was just too much stuff for it to be a coincidence.

"How did he protect you?" I questioned.

"In the worst ways imaginable. Sometimes when they were done with Paul and gone I could have sworn he was dead. He'd just lie there on the cold concrete floor unmoving, eyes unblinking, orange pants around his knees with blood and semen coverin' his backside. Occasionally I'd pray he didn't come back from wherever he was, though most of the time I was selfish and begged him to come back to me – there was no way I wanted to be alone in that place. When he was like that I always did my best to clean him up. I'd rip pieces of fabric off the top bunks mattress cover and wet them at the sink. I'd wash him to get the filth from others off him, he never so much as twitched a muscle and I used those times to cry. I never wanted to cry in front of him, I didn't feel like I ought to be, not with all the pain he was suffering for me. By the time he'd snap out of it I'd always have his pants up and the scratchy woollen blankets tucked under and around him with my body pressed against his to keep him warm. Every single time the first thing he'd do is ask me if I was alright, and every single time I'd say that he'd made sure of it. I don't think he ever knew that I washed him so intimately. I think it's better that way. He deserves some dignity."

I still had my head faced away, though my lips were pressed tightly together to hold back the sobs I wanted to let out. This wasn't my time. This was Nahuel's. But, to think of Paul like that and a little ten-year-old pup caring so deeply for him broke my heart. I just couldn't imagine the horror of it all, yet what I could, made me doubt this world. I can understand why Paul wanted to kill them, and did for that matter. If I was king at the time I'd have no problem sentencing them all to death. Honestly, I'd have taken all those lives myself if need be – I wouldn't have _shit_ like that in _my_ kingdom.

My father leaned forward and placed the small white stick from his lollipop on the table in front of him. "Nahuel, how old was Paul?" He queried.

"Just a pup himself, fifteen." With Nahuel's answer a whine escaped my throat, it truly was my Paulie. The wolf gazed my way with an apologetic frown on his face. "Maybe we shouldn't talk about this."

I shook my head and turned back to the wolf. "Can you tell me some good things about him?" I asked.

Nahuel smiled at me and nodded. "Not every day was bad. On occasion there would be lock downs and the cell door would be locked shut the entire day. On those days he'd smile through all the lumps, cuts, and bruises, even laugh. We'd spend the day in bed, not that there was really anything else to do, he was weak and would nod off for an hour or two every once in awhile so bed was the place to be. In between his sleeps we'd have long chats. We talked about his ideal mate once. Green eyes, he said – all he wanted was to be able to look into green eyes so each time he did he could be reminded of his second love, the forest.

"Oh, he was a huge momma's boy too. He could talk endlessly about her and I think it was 'cause of her he was a kinda obsessed with this angel idea. He mentioned that his mom would tell him stories about his guardian angel when he was scared or upset when he was just a small pup. He told me she passed away a bit before he was sent to prison and he swore up and down that she went to heaven. He was also so adamant that she'd make his angel save him from that place." Nahuel let go of my hand and gripped the jean of his pants on top of his thighs. "When I was little, just a puppy like that, I believed he'd be saved too." His eyes met mine. "The only person he ever talked about was his mother and she was dead. He had nobody and I'm not a naive puppy anymore. Nothin' and no one was coming to save Paul." His voice quavered and his hands darted up to press against his eyes. "He's dead..." He said under his breath. "Paul died in there. He died some gruesome and undignified death in that hellhole and there was nothing I could do to stop it."

I pulled Nahuel's hands away from his face as I shook my head. His eyes were watery, but I knew he was too tough to let himself shed even a single tear. "I'd bet you anything Paul is still alive." I tried to assure him.

"No," He whispered. "He was tired and so sickly too. He'd want to be with his mom." Slowly he started to undo the buttons on his black shirt. "I want to show you something." He told me as he turned his body toward mine and with half of the buttons undone he pulled down the neck of his white undershirt to reveal a tattoo on the right left side of his chest. It was exactly like the huge one of Paul he had on his back except this one had a smaller white wolf leaning against Paul's silvery fur. "The wolf snuggled up to him, it's pure white 'cause it's his angel he'd always talk about."

"I'm pure white." I breathed.

Nahuel cracked a smile. "Maybe you're part angel then."

My eyes looked to the night sky on his tattoo to see nothing but stars and a bright moon. "His demons are gone." I quietly mused.

The wolf nodded. "Even if it didn't happen in the real world, at least on my skin he got his happily ever after."

* * *

_I'm sorry, I know I promised some of you that the Paul and Nahuel reunion was going to be in this chapter. This became a lot longer than I originally thought it would be, but I swear the next chapter is all about those two! Cross my heart!_


	47. Chapter 47

**Chapter Forty-seven  
**

I don't know if I was being insane or incredibly optimistic, yet I felt that Nahuel was exactly what my Paulie needed. He needed someone in his life that would 'get it', someone who when things get all jumbled in his head he can talk with and who will truly understand the pain and fear he's feeling – me, a therapist, or any of his friends can't do that. I know my wolf protected Nahuel from being hurt like he was, but the stray witnessed his pain first hand, he _knows_ exactly what those sick fucks did to Paul. He _knows_ the pain my wolf felt, he _knows_ the damage it causes, and he _knows_ how to build a new life after his first once was destroyed.

When my dad stood, pulling my father with him and heading toward the exit as he announced that my _mate_ was in the palace my heart went off in a frenzy. Firstly, I swear for the first time ever my dad referred to Paul as my mate, and secondly, though mainly, I was eagerly anticipating this long overdue reunion. "We're not needed here, but take your time." Dad told us as he reached for the doorknob to exit the office. "Dinner won't be ready for awhile yet." Right with the word _yet_ the door forcefully opened and whacked my dad right in the face, splintering the wood and causing him to stumble backwards a few steps and clasp a hand to his cheek.

"You stupid fuck!" My father growled at Paul as his face came into view. "Do you not know how to goddamn knock?!"

"Oh shit!" Paul said and laughed heartily as he walked through the doorway. "Sorry, Ed. Show me the damage." My dad dropped his hand to reveal a small crack running down the length of his cheek. My wolf cocked his head and smirked. "Huh, it actually looks better that way – distracts the eye from the rest of your face."

Dad gave Paul quite the fond and genuine smile. "Fuck you." He playfully responded.

"Fuck me?" My wolf queried with raised brows. "I always thought you had a thing for me, especially after the night you snuck to my room and went all Dracula on me."

"Jesus..." Dad breathed. "You remember that? We were just kids."

Paul chortled. "We were your pup's age and of course I remember. Not only did I have my ass handed to me, but I spent the night in purgatory too... undoubtedly sobbing and yearning to see my five-year-old imprint and feeling like a sick fuck because of it."

"You poor miserable soul..." Father sarcastically put in.

My wolf flicked his gaze to my father. "You have no idea, but I just got to thank the lucky stars that I'm not you."

Father quirked a dark brow. "I happen to think being king and married to this guy is a pretty sweet gig." He insisted as he pointed to his mate.

Paul turned his eyes to my dad and stared at him for a few moments before flicking his gaze back to father with a rather unimpressed look on his face. "Pfft... yeah, _right_."

Dad's pale nose crinkled in displeasure. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

Paul gave my dad the most charming smile. "It means it's a good thing you're cute or you wouldn't have anything going for you."

My father scowled and pulled my dad to him and into his arms. "_Excuse me_, you think _my_ imprint is cute?" He possessively questioned.

Paul shook his head. "Nah, I'm kidding, your leech is _hideous_."

"Hey!" Dad said in protest.

My wolf shrugged and looked back and forth between the two of them. "You guys are going to have to pick one of the two, I can't please everybody."

"Well," Dad sighed. "It's settled then. I'm adorable."

Paul grinned and nodded in agreement. "Yeah, in an it's so ugly it's cute kind of way."

"Har har." Father grumped. "I'll have you know I wouldn't buy something that's a million bucks if it was ugly."

"Hmm," Paul hummed. "Well, to be fair I always did think you have questionable taste."

My father smirked. "Is that so? Ever since the first time I saw you I've thought you were ridiculously good looking and utterly fuckable. I guess my taste is either exquisite or you're one fowl swamp creature."

My wolf frowned and moved out of the way of the door. "Were you two on your way out?" He questioned, yet it was plainly obvious that he was asking them to get the hell out so he could get rid of the uncomfortable feelings he had.

Dad nodded as he led his husband through the doorway. "Give Ryan's new friend a chance. He might surprise you." I heard him call from the hallway.

With a huff of breath and roll of his eyes Paul pushed the door as closed as the splintered wood would let him and turned his head my way with a happy loving smile on his face. "Hey, handsome." He greeted me. There wasn't a chance that I couldn't smile back at him, and just because my wolf had now called me handsome, _twice_, in _one_ day the smile I donned probably made me look like a maniac. Although, I really had to do my best to get rid of the sound of Paul calling my dad cute ringing in my ears, the idea of dad feeding on my Paulie, and the knowledge that the love of my life had cried down in purgatory while needing me.

I stood up and stepped forward only to be happily devoured by Paul's arms and perfect woodsy scent. "I love you." I contentedly murmured against his chest. "I missed you." I added. It felt so good to have him against me and content after all I heard from Nahuel about the horrors my wolf experienced in prison. I just had to repeat to myself that he's okay, he's safe, and an awful lot of the time his mind is in a good place.

"I love you too, angel." My wolf murmured back to me after tucking a few kisses into my hair. "And, I missed you more. I guarantee that." Gradually he let go of me and took my hand in his to bring me over to the sofa my parents had been sitting on. I felt bad leaving Nahuel's side, but I was a sucker for Paul's affections and once seated beside him he had his arms tightly around me while spoiling me with nuzzles and even more kisses. Deep down inside I knew my wolf wasn't doing this because he was elated to see me, no, he's never _this _affectionate... he was marking his territory and showing Nahuel just who I belong to. I honestly had no problem with this – I was his after all, plus it made me feel incredibly wanted by him. I loved that feeling.

My wolf's large copper hand glided along my cheek and slid into my hair while he gave my lips a few small pecks. "I'm still having trouble getting used to how short this is." He quietly mused as his fingers played with the tips my cropped hair.

"I think it looks really good." Nahuel complimented.

Immediately Paul stiffened and he snapped his gaze to the colourfully tattooed werewolf and eyed him up and down. "Keep your filthy fucking eyes off _my _imprint!" He heatedly snarled. Well, shit. That's not quite the introduction I wanted them to have.

Nahuel lifted his hands up in mock surrender. "Whoa, man, I didn't mean it like that."

Paul huffed in disbelief. "_Uh-huh_, so do you often lure teenage boys to your house in the dark of night and give them booze?"

The wolf quirked a brow and I really couldn't tell if he was amused or insulted. "Only when the wife is out." He deadpanned.

"Wife?" Paul queried with a mocking smile. "I don't see a ring hanging around your neck."

Nahuel brought up his left hand and gave my wolf the middle finger. "_Oops_, wrong one..." He said with a smirk. He folded that finger down and lifted his ring finger that had a amber coloured ring tattooed around it with pretty script writing that was designed to look like it had Senna's name engraved on it.

You'd think that would shut my Paulie up, but did it? "Does she know you like to diddle little boys?" Nope, it surely did not.

Nahuel's jaw clenched as his nostrils flared with anger. "As far as I'm concerned the only perv around here that _diddles _little boys is _you_. Ya said yourself you were imprinted on the prince when he was five – you were right to feel like a sick fuck, 'cause you are." He spat and I face palmed. So, much for Nahuel becoming part of my pack any time soon... or ever. If my wolf says he hates him, Emily and Eric will be sure to follow.

"I _never_ fucking touched him as a kid!" Paul darted his eyes to mine and stared heatedly at me. "Tell him I didn't touch you!" He angrily growled.

The wolf rolled his silvery-blue eyes. "Sounds like coercion by means of intimidation."

Paul jumped to his feet while pointing at the wolf. "Shut it, you pale faced insolent fuck!" He moved his hand back to point at me. "He's my world, my life, and I'd sooner cut you open and force feed you your own guts before I so much as hurt a hair on my angel's head!"

Nahuel leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms. "Hit a nerve did I?" He smugly questioned.

"Okay, enough..." I huffed as I grabbed Paul by the back of his shirt and yanked him onto the couch. I looked to him first. "You never _diddled_ me." I stated and then flicked my gaze to Nahuel. "And you never want to _diddle_ me." I said and began to shift my eyes between the two of them. "Now apologize to each other."

Paul shook his head. "No way." He grumpily huffed.

Nahuel shook his head as well. "He started it."

My eyes widened and I looked at them in disbelief. "What are you guys, _three_?" I turned my attention to Nahuel. "How about you be the bigger wolf and apologize first."

Again the wolf shook his head. "I didn't do anything wrong."

I sighed and gave Paul pleading eyes. "Just tell him you're sorry."

"No, I'm _not_ sorry." He growled through gritted teeth.

"Well, Christ!" I exclaimed in defeat while kicking my feet up on the table and getting comfortable. "I guess we're just going to have to sit here silently until you two can be big boys and get along." Both wolves scowled at each other and my Paulie tried to hold me close, yet I swatted his hands away. "Nope, none of that – no touching me until you two are friends." I figured I'd give him some incentive, though he just looked pissed with his arms crossed and his brown eyes glaring at Nahuel.

I watched the time tick by on the clock that hung on the wall and I had to wonder if it would be better if I just told them who each other are. Then again, I didn't want to ruin the potential relationship they could have if I told them the truth. Right now they loathed each other and I had to figure I should wait to see if they could settle everything first. So, with much internal debate I decided to say nothing, yet after forty-five minutes of silence, death glares and stink eyes I thought it was good idea to motivate Paul a bit. With a sigh I moved across the seating area to sit beside Nahuel who gave me a happy grin while lazily slinging an arm around my shoulders.

Needless to say, my wolf did _not_ like that. "Ryan's mine." He snapped. "You've got your paws all over what's _mine_."

"He's _all _yours?" Nahuel snidely questioned as he ran his hand along my thigh while the arm that was slung around me lifted so he could dip his fingertips into my hair. "But, I love the feel of _your_ imprint so close to me."

I think I damn near saw flames in Paul's eyes as his fists clenched at his sides. "I'll kill you." He growled under his breath.

Nahuel smirked. "What was that, a pretty boy making a death threat? A prep like you would probably cry about a stubbed toe and faint at the mere sight of blood."

My wolf stood while he sucked in a deep breath, and with a heavy exhale his hands loosened. "If you don't take your hands off my imprint I _will_ kill you. You've got five seconds to make your choice." He said this so eerily calmly I knew it had to be true. "_One_."

I turned my head to look at Nahuel. "I'd listen to him."

"_Two_."

The wolf shook his head. "The dog is full of shit." I held my breath to hold back a growl. I didn't like him calling Paul that, especially to me. Pathetically, I feel a little bitter about Paul never sticking up for me so I had no intention to come to his aid either. Maybe I'm a crap alpha, or maybe he just needed a taste of his own medicine.

"_Three_."

I frowned at Nahuel. "He's not joking." I warned.

"_Four_."

The wolf took his hands from me, pushed away the table that was between him and Paul, and casually got to his feet. "If it's a fight ya want then I'd be happy to kick your pampered purebred ass and make you look like a fool."

Paul cocked his head only but an inch as his inky black brows knitted together for a moment or two before he laughed. What exactly he was laughing at I couldn't quite fathom. "For such a pathetic excuse for a wolf you sure are confident; but, man, I got to say it'll be _you_ that's the fool when my pampered purebred ass kicks your multicoloured inbred one all the way back to the trailer park."

Nahuel laughed this time. "Calling a mutt like me inbred is hardly an insult. I think we both know it's the_ purebreds _we gotta worry about. Maybe that's why you seem so angry and incompetent, your parents are cousins. You shouldn't feel bad, though. It's not your fault you're a genetic disaster." Paul's fists closed and I could just tell by the expression on his face that he was sick of talking. "You look like you want to hit me. Be careful, wouldn't want ya to bruise that pretty copper skin of yours."

With a loud growl my wolf turned his body away from Nahuel so only a shoulder was facing him. "You're not worth upsetting my imprint." He said under his breath.

Nahuel leaned a bit closer to him. "What? Speak intelligently, dog, I can't hear you." The wolf just had to go on taunting him, didn't he?

Paul flicked his eyes to the wolf. "I said you're not fucking worth it."

The wolf shrugged. "Sure, that, or it's your imprint that isn't worth it." With his accusation Paul's gaze turned intense. "I have to say I'd knock the teeth out of anybody I thought was after my missus."

"He's worth everything!" Paul viciously snarled as he stepped to angle his body back toward Nahuel. He leaned in close to the wolf's face. "You're fucking with me. You want a fight."

Nahuel chuckled and shook his head. "Nah, man, I'm a friendly guy – I don't want to fight, but I don't really appreciate it when some asshole who doesn't even know my name gets all up in my face accusing me of shit."

My wolf leaned back. "Yeah, and you think I appreciated it when I was worried sick about Ryan since he just up and went missing, yet I couldn't do a damn thing because I was stuck at the hospital all night because one of my best friends, who I happen to consider my baby brother, was stabbed and fucking _killed_ last night? Do you think I appreciated sitting at James' bedside watching him turn only to find out my imprint went to some wolf's house that I didn't know, that_ he_ barely knew, and had gotten drunk at a party and spent the night with how many other guys around? Do you think I appreciated thinking about all the horrible things that could have happened to him or that he might have naively done?" He angrily questioned and boy did I ever feel guilty... and boy did I ever feel like I deserved to. But, what's this about things that I might have naively done? What's that supposed to mean? I almost felt like he was calling me stupid.

Nahuel's expression softened and he appeared dumbfounded. "I swear I didn't know _any_ of this. When I told him you should come he said you were busy, I honestly didn't think twice about it." He fervently promised.

Paul's brows furrowed. "Wait, I was invited?" Uh-oh...

The wolf nodded with a smile. "Of course! I really wanted to meet ya." He enthusiastically told him and he playfully nudged Paul's shoulder with the back of his hand. "Don't know _what _I was thinkin' though."

My wolf stared at the spot on his arm where Nahuel had touched him for a moment or two before flicking his unhappy eyes to mine. "What's your excuse?" He snapped at me.

I frowned apologetically. "I thought you'd stop me from going."

Paul shook his head with an annoyed growl. "I'm not your fucking keeper, Ryan! I would have come with you, and I think we both know who'd still be living if that were the case." I looked away from my wolf feeling utterly mortified. The last thing I needed was him blaming me for James' death too. With a sigh Paul strode pass Nahuel and sat at my side. I was tense when he pulled me to him, though my muscles quickly relaxed when his warm lips touched my temple to give me a comforting kiss... not that I deserved it. I also wasn't supposed to be letting him either, but whatever, I'm a selfish wolf. "Sweetie, I don't know why you didn't just tell me about..." He looked to Nahuel as he took a seat on the other couch. "Whoever that is, and I seriously don't have a damn idea why you didn't tell me about wanting to take a workshop class. I would have loved doing something like that with you. I understand if it was something you wanted to do on your own, _but_ I could have at least helped you out and gotten you prepared for the class."

"Which would have been a hell of a good idea." Nahuel put in, and he met Paul's eyes. "He didn't even know what nail gun is."

Paul brought his attention back to me and he gazed at me like I was the most precious thing while he smiled fondly at me before lovingly kissing my lips, and I had to admit it felt so much better when it wasn't for show. "You're the most wonderful boy in the world, you know." He murmured to me between the kisses he treated me to.

I smiled against his lips. "Why, because I'm stupid?" I playfully asked.

Paul broke our contact so he could see my face. "No, because for a spoiled little prince you truly are adorable." I prefer handsome, but for Paul I'd be adorable too. "What have you ever had to do for yourself?"

I felt the heat rise in my cheeks as I tried to think of something. I didn't do my own laundry or clean my own room. I could count the number of times I had to make myself a meal on one hand. "I bathe myself." I answered pitifully.

My wolf gave me a devilish grin. "For shame! The prince bathing himself?! Sign me up, your highness – I'll do it for you, and love every second of it... but only for the greater good of the kingdom of course." Yes please, he could bathe me every day of the week and goodness knows I wouldn't have a single complaint. God, it made me so damn hot thinking about Paul wanting to see me naked.

I swear my cheeks brightened further as dirty thoughts entered my mind. "And do these baths include happy endings?" I whispered in question, although I was certain Nahuel's ears heard me anyway.

"Anything for the prince." He lovingly chimed.

I kissed my wolf and ran my fingers through his cropped hair. "What a wonderful fantasy, but I'm positive my dad would murder you in your sleep if that were the case."

Paul shook his head. "No, he'd want me wide awake so I could feel all the pain, _but_ speaking of your dad... Your lies, angel, those aren't adorable. First they'll start out small, then you'll start lying to cover up your small lies which in effect creates one giant shit storm that fucks with your conscience, and since you already feel like garbage you'll have no problem doing even lousier things behind peoples backs. Do you see where I'm going with this?" He queried.

"Um..." I hadn't a clue.

"Do you want to turn into your dad?" Paul asked. I shook my head no and fervently denied wanting to be anything like him. I love my dad, dear god did I ever love him, but he sure has done a number on himself. "Good, neither do I. I like you sweet, not nutty."

I smiled at my wolf. "What am I, a sundae?"

Paul gave me a smile of his own. "If so, your new haircut is the cherry on top. It really does make you look delicious." He so obviously flirted. I loved it.

Nahuel cleared his throat getting mine and Paul's attention. "As much as enjoy watchin' two lovers canoodling..."

"Then leave." Paul hissed. Okay, so they clearly aren't on good terms just yet.

Nahuel smirked at the wolf. "I probably would if I didn't know I bothered you so much."

"So!" I piped up as I looked to Paul. "Why don't you tell him a bit about yourself."

My handsome Paulie furrowed his brows. "Why?"

I gave Paul a toothy loving smile. "Because it's an order." I happily chirped in demand.

With a scowl my wolf met Nahuel's silvery-blue eyes. "I bought a house this summer, my first one. It's pretty mediocre, but I have quite the love for it. James, the guy I previously told you about, the one who has just been turned, lives with me – he'd probably like you, but he's the self-destructive type. I was in King Jacob's pack years ago. I joined when I was fourteen; it was the worst and best mistake I've ever made. The best because I got my angel, the worst because I've been to hell and back."

Nahuel's eyes narrowed in on my wolf. "Why do you call Ryan your angel?" He curiously asked.

Paul shrugged. "Because he is. My life was empty and dark before I imprinted, but when I did he was my ray of hope, my beacon of safety. Yet, he also did these things that made me scared shitless. I can remember when it was getting close to Ed and Jake's wedding; Ryan, who was only six at the time, was getting ridiculously excited about the whole thing, plus with all the magazines Rose, his aunt, had laying about the pup started dreaming about and planning our own. Now, I was eighteen at the time and vehemently opposed to the idea that we'd ever be together – I was a little delusional considering I had it stuck in my head that my imprint would grow up to marry a woman, preferably Emily, my pack sister. I look back at my old self and I just want to punch him. I want to punch me so fucking hard. I thought being gay was this big bad thing. I thought it was disgusting and dirty, and a million other vile things. I didn't want that for Ryan.

"Okay, so fast forward a bunch of years until my imprint is sixteen. I had been gone for five years – don't ask, that's a whole other story. I think being away for so long and missing Ryan grow up it was easy for me to disassociate the younger him from the older him. When I looked at him I didn't see the puppy he once was, I only saw what he was turning into. I was fucked, like seriously fucked in the head... that might have helped too, but whatever, that's not the point. I was able to talk to him, open up. He didn't know anything about my past and what had me so screwed up, but he listened and when he listened I felt loved, and when the world felt awful just seeing him reminded me that some good things were in it. In the end Ryan saved me, he truly did. If he didn't care, if he didn't want me, I'd have never gotten the help I needed and I would have never been close with James – I couldn't have gotten this far without my brother Jamie, there's just no way." My wolf paused and sighed, and after a few quiet moments a little smile upturned his lips. "I wished for Ryan, you know. I wished so fucking hard for an angel to save me. I got one. He's my angel and my alpha, he's my guardian angel." What an overzealous wolf I have. I ordered Paul to tell Nahuel a _bit_ about himself, not spill his guts. But, god, I think I just felt my heart turn to mush. I love my Paulie. I love him so damn much and he seriously gives me _way_ too much credit – I hope he tells James how he feels too. Judging by what Charlie told me, he needs to hear these things.

Nahuel cocked his head and squinted his eyes as he gazed at my wolf. Was he beginning to connect the dots? "How did you get over the gay thing if ya thought it was so disgusting? You must have been into dick back then, right?" Not quite the questions I thought he'd be asking. I thought asking Paul's name would be the appropriate one.

My wolf shook his head no. "Wrong. I wasn't sexually attracted to guys, even the thought of being with a woman disturbed me. Then again, deep down inside there was a scared little gay boy, so that might have had something to do with it. To be completely honest I still really struggle with the feeling of disgust. It's not that I find Ryan disgusting, he's by far the opposite and I'm extremely attracted to him. I guess it's the act of sex itself. I mean, if I were to sleep with Ryan I'd feel like I'm humiliating him, demeaning, dirtying, and tainting him. I'd feel like a creep and a monster. I'd look at myself in abhorrence. I'd feel worthless. Shameful. I'd feel sick and disturbed. Twisted. I'd feel as if I were just like the men in prison. I'd feel-"

"Paul, stop it!" I snapped my order at him, and Nahuel's silvery-blue eyes widened in shock and surprise. _'Paul?...' _I saw him silently say to himself while eyeing my wolf.

Paul looked at me appearing utterly embarrassed. "What the fuck took you so long?" He hissed under his breath.

"I said a bit! Not bear your soul!"

"I was unsure what you considered a bit to be." He quietly whined. "Things kept slipping out and I was forced to say more."

I frowned apologetically. "I'm sorry, I didn't know." I pressed a hand to his arm. "Are you okay?"

My wolf shook his head. "No, I'm not okay! I've got all this shit..." He pressed his fingers to his temples, knocking my hand away from him. "All this shit stuck in my head."

"Hey, Paul?" Nahuel said in an attempt to get his attention.

Paul angled his head away from the wolf. "Fuck off." He growled as he rested his cheek on my shoulder and hid his face away in the crook of my neck. For the first time in a long time I could feel the strength and intensity of my wolf's emotions. He was feeling desperate. I think in this moment he just wanted everything to disappear... including himself.

"Paul..." Nahuel repeated. "Think of the forest." He suggested, though for the first time the tattooed wolf appeared slightly unsure of himself. "Think of the leaves of every tree as green as your imprint's eyes. Think of frost beneath your paws, the crunch of the frozen ground, and your claws digging into the dirt for grip. Imagine the feel of the bitter cold wind in your fur as you run and the scent of the icy woodland air."

"Keep talking." My wolf mumbled, his warm breath feeling heavenly against my skin.

Nahuel nodded, not that Paul could see him, and inhaled a deep breath. "If you could be running anywhere in the world, where would you be going?" He queried.

"Home."

"Whose home?"

"Our home." Paul answered as he snugly wrapped his arms around my waist, and in return I dipped my fingers into his thick dark hair to comfortingly comb them through it. "Ryan would be there waiting for me with dinner ready, but I was purposely late just so I could see my imprint grumpy. He's so cute when he's grumpy. He'd complain that our meal is cold. It wasn't, it was fine – he was just being grumpy, and I liked that, though mostly because I could kiss him all better, and even after so many years together he'd still blush scarlet when I gave him all my attention."

"Would anybody else be there?" Nahuel questioned.

"My puppies." I smiled at the proud and happy sound of Paul's voice with those two simple words.

I pressed my nose into my wolf's hair to give him a nuzzle. "How many would we have?"

Paul lifted his head from my shoulder to meet my eyes. "As many as you'll give me." He answered.

I gave him a questioning look. "You don't want any of your own?"

My wolf flicked his gaze to Nahuel. "This is my world, right? Anything I want can happen?" He questioned and the wolf nodded yes in response. Paul looked back to me. "They'd be the both of ours."

I nearly choked on my own tongue. "Are you expecting _me_ to give birth?"

Paul grinned at me. "Hey, don't look so disturbed. You're going to love being a mother." My brows rose in surprise at the such a feminine role he was giving me while Nahuel chuckled, which caught my wolf's attention. "Thank you." He surprisingly said.

Nahuel shrugged and waved him off. "Whatever, man. Told ya I'm a friendly guy." He said with smile. "I come in peace, I swear."

Paul nodded in acknowledgement and I grinned so big it hurt. "So, um, you helped my imprint with his hair yesterday?"

"Yeah, I did." Nahuel's eyes turned to mine. "Is Paul the friend your dad talked about? The one who's been... struggling?" My wolf's nose crinkled in displeasure and I nodded yes in reply. He looked back to Paul. "My name is Nahuel..." He awkwardly paused to clear his throat, yet the hope in his eyes as he stared at my mate was beyond obvious. "Just thought I'd introduce myself."

Paul stiffened as he let go of me and sat up straight. "That's a pretty uncommon name."

Nahuel clasped his hands in his lap to still his fidgeting fingers. "It is... I knew a Paul once." He informed him.

"I think everybody knew a Paul once." My wolf nonchalantly replied.

The stray's colourful throat bobbed as he swallowed and his booted foot began tapping the floor. "But, did you ever know a Nahuel?" He queried in anticipation.

Paul slowly nodded. "A long time ago. He had the same colour eyes as you."

"Fuck..." The wolf breathed as his silvery-blue eyes began to water. "What was he like?"

Paul was silent for a few moments. "Way too brave for a puppy in such a bad place." He quietly answered.

Nahuel's hands stopped moving and when he blinked tears streamed down his cheeks – there was something so heartbreaking about watching such a tough wolf cry. "Prison, was that the bad place?" His voice came out laboured and shaky, and I had to force myself to keep still. I wanted to go to him, but it was not my place to intervene or interrupt. I needed to stay seated and keep my mouth shut.

"Yeah..." My wolf breathed. "What was Paul like?"

Tears pooled in Nahuel's eyes and once again when he blinked, they fell. "My **F**riend Paul would protect me **U**nder any and all **C**ircumstances to **K**eep me safe."

My wolf's face contorted into a look of utter disbelief. "**FUCK**." He whispered.

Nahuel held up his right hand to show my wolf the swear across his knuckles. "**FUCK**." He breathily replied. As if he were on autopilot my wolf stood and Nahuel followed him to his feet. With a quick step forward by the both of them Paul wrapped his arms around the slightly smaller wolf who was quick to cling him while his tears began to fall faster. "I promised I wouldn't forget about you, Paul. I fuckin' promised."

My wolf stayed silent, I was positive he was speechless, yet he displayed an undeniable affection for Nahuel that even I wasn't expecting. I figured kind words and maybe a hug was in order, but to see my Paulie nuzzling his cheek so lovingly against the stray's as he held him tight gave me hope. I've never seen Paul get this close to anybody else – I've seen him give Emily plenty of hugs and he'll put up with Eric laying his head in his lap so long as there's a pillow between the two of them while they watch television or a movie. I've also seen him allow Quil, Seth, and Brady give him the rare nuzzle, but I've never witnessed him outright show so much love for someone. I desperately wanted Nahuel to be the missing piece to Paul's puzzle, I wanted him to be that final piece that held him all together and made him whole again.

Nahuel squeezed his eyes closed as he rested his head on Paul's shoulder while the poor wolf began to sob. "Don't cry." I heard Paul whisper to him.

The wolf shook his head against Paul and his grip tightened on him. "I can't help it. I thought for sure you were dead." He cried into Paul's shirt. "When I got out I begged my parents to take me back to see you, but all the stupid fuckin' doctors and therapists they forced me to see advised them against it... said it'd only set me back and worsen my PTSD." Nahuel sucked in a quavering breath and let out sobs he had held back. His shaky left hand let go of the back of Paul's shirt so he could bring it up to hold the side of his neck like he needed to feel the warm coppery skin with his own bare hand to prove to himself that the wolf that gave away everything for him was truly there.

Paul made slow comforting circles on Nahuel's back in an effort to sooth him. "They weren't stupid they were right. You didn't need me anymore."

"But, you needed me!" The wolf bawled. "You fucking needed me and they wouldn't let me be there for you!"

"Nahuel, you were _ten-years-old_, a puppy. You had absolutely no business coming back there. They did the right thing keeping you away."

The wolf shook his head in disagreement only to then tuck his face away into the crook of Paul's neck. "I counted down the days until I turned sixteen so I could visit the prison without my parents. I swear on my life that the morning of my birthday I was at that prison looking for ya." As he made his promise through all his tears, his hand slipped from my wolf's neck to his upper back so he could hug him tight. "You never told me your last name and I was dumb enough to never ask. I could remember our cell block and number along with the dates I'd been there, so I told the guards what I knew. They had _me_ in their books, though not you. They had no record of a Paul ever being in that cell. I thought somethin' so awful had to have happened to ya after I left. I thought the guards or the prisoners did somethin' so horrific to ya that the warden felt he had to cover it up and make it seem like you were never there."

Paul sighed as he tilted his head to nuzzle his cheek against the wolf's hair. "All my records were erased... tell me you haven't spent all these years thinking about me."

Nahuel bunched Paul's shirt in his hands as he squeezed his hands into fists. "There's not a day that's gone by that I haven't thought of ya." He quietly cried with his words coming out muffled as he pressed himself impossibly closer to my wolf. "You're my fuckin' life, Paul. Everything I have is 'cause of you. I wouldn't have lasted a week in that prison by myself; you know it, I know it... I owe everything to you."

My wolf's hand gently gripped that back of Nahuel's hair while he closed his eyes and continued to affectionately nuzzle him. "You owe me nothing." He murmured. "I'd do it all again."

Nahuel sighed. "Even if ya knew in the future I'd encourage your imprint to drink until drunk and wreak havoc in my neighbourhood?" He asked lightheartedly in a clear attempt to brighten the mood.

Paul lifted his head and took a slight step back, yet the wolf was hardly ready to let him go and still clung to him. Nahuel's blotchy face and tear stained cheeks came into view as he straightened to meet Paul's gaze who gave him a soft smile. "Well, maybe I'd have let them smack you around a bit." My wolf playfully jested, and my heart just about burst right from my chest from pure and utter shock. Paul, my Paul, just made a joke about his prison experience. He made light of a horrifying experience. Either his mind was in a very good place or he was seriously a professional at faking it for Nahuel. I knew my wolf well however, and sadly enough my bet was on the latter.

The wolf smiled back at Paul through all his tears, though the pools in his eyes were drying. "Liar, you'd never let them put even a bruise on cute little me."

Paul devilishly smirked. "Yeah, but now I know you don't stay little _or_ cute, so I shouldn't feel so bad."

Nahuel let go of my wolf as he chuckled and dried his face. "I don't remember you being such a dick... but ya look good, _real _good. I didn't have the faintest idea it was you"

My wolf raised his brows minutely as he eyed Nahuel up and down. "And, I don't remember you looking so... _interesting_."

The stray chuckled and grinned. "I'll have you know, my missus happens to think I'm pretty fuckin' fine." He smugly retorted.

Paul's gave Nahuel a cheeky smile. "Is she blind?" He jestingly questioned.

The wolf laughed. "Says Mr. Frat Boy! I had no idea that under all those bruises and bumps ya looked like such a damn tool!"

"I look like a tool?!" Paul exclaimed with laughter. "At least I don't look like I mug old ladies in the street or hold clan meetings with the main attraction being a burning fucking cross!"

Nahuel guffawed, causing him to clutch at his sides. "I'd take that over looking like a cardigan wearing douche bag who drives a shitty red convertible that he can't stop bragging about." He paused with a wide toothy grin and poked my wolf in the chest. "I bet you're the kinda prick who wears sunglasses indoors, aren't ya?"

Paul once again smirked at the wolf. "I don't know, are you going to shank me if I give you an answer you don't like?"

"Are you a gambling man or a pussy?" Nahuel queried as he picked a piece of lint off my wolf's shirt. "Keepin' ya spiffy." He said with a smile.

Paul crossed his arms. "This may surprise you, but this douche bag doesn't even own a pair of sunglasses."

Nahuel mockingly crossed his arms as well. "Oh-la-la, look at this bad boy going against the norm. I bet you stare right at the sun too, don't ya?"

"Only on the brightest days." My wolf quipped while trying to keep a straight face.

Nahuel's face completed softened and his hands dropped to his sides. "You gotta meet the boys, Paul, they're gonna fuckin' love ya." He happily insisted.

My wolf quirked a brow. "You make it sound like I want to see you again."

The stray smiled and playfully shoved Paul. "Fuck off, we'll be besties and having slumber parties and pillow fights in no time." He said with a laugh.

Paul's nose crinkled as he gave him an incredulous stare. "What the hell are you talking about?"

Nahuel gave my wolf a playful grin. "I'm just trying to bond with ya by speakin' your language."

Paul's dark brows furrowed. "My language?"

The stray's grin broadened. "Homo." He quipped.

"Asshole." My wolf breathed with a smile as he gave Nahuel a good punch in the arm. "I'm gay, not a twelve-year-old girl."

The wolf laughed as he gazed at his arm that had been punched. "You sure? 'Cause ya hit like one." He teased while punching Paul right back. "Oh, and besides, if I'm an asshole, you must _really_ enjoy my company."

Paul's face turned a bit green and he appeared rather revolted. "Don't be disgusting." He chided.

Nahuel rolled his eyes. "Suck it the fuck up buttercup – I'm a _man_, I'm downright disgusting just as nature intended. My three favourite activities are eating, fucking, and being stupid. I think there are two things there that ya might want to consider aspiring to."

My wolf gave him a little smile. "I don't think I want you around my imprint. You reek of bad influence."

Nahuel rose his brows. "Trust me, Paul, if there's anything that boy needs in his life, it's a bad influence."

Paul shook his head as he motioned for me to come to him. "I like my angel sweet and innocent." He told him while he pulled my back to his chest and wrapped his arms around my shoulders and chest.

Again Nahuel rolled his eyes. "Your _angel _isn't sweet and innocent, he's sweet and ignorant."

"I am _not_ ignorant!" I bitterly insisted.

The stray perked a brow. "Tell me, Herc, what's a BMX?" He asked me.

"That's not something he _needs_ to know." Paul said in my defence.

Nahuel shook his head. "No, but he's a young guy, it's common knowledge. He _should_ know what it is." The wolf flicked his eyes to me. "So, what is it?"

I let out a huff of breath. "I'm not completely brainless, you know. It's a type of car." I confidently stated.

Paul sighed from behind me. "Sweetie..." He murmured before tucking a loving kiss into my hair. "You're so precious to me."

"Yeah, so precious that you gotta hold his hand while crossing the fucking street – wouldn't want him dartin' off into traffic, now would ya?" Paul gave a growl in response to the stray's words who turned his attention back to me. "You're thinking of a BMW, Herc, a BMX is a type of bike."

I felt my cheeks flame. "Oops..." I whispered.

Again my wolf sighed and he pushed me toward Nahuel. "You win, teach him your ways."

As I turned around to face Paul and give him a pouty frown the stray rested his hands on my shoulders. "I think he should get a tattoo. Something big and bad ass." He teased my wolf.

Paul's eyes widened. "Fuck no, Nahuel! You better fucking return my imprint to me just the way I gave him to you – not a scratch or a hair out of place."

"You two are talking like I'm not even here." I complained. "Don't I get any say in this?"

My wolf smirked at me and I felt Nahuel pat the top of my head. "Shh..." The stray hushed. "Let the men do the talking." I gazed over my shoulder to glare daggers at the wolf and he just gave me a big, toothy, shit eating grin. I do believe these two are going to give me all kinds of grief in the future... I could feel it though, Nahuel is _so_ going to be mine.


	48. Chapter 48

**PLEASE READ: **I'm sorry it took me half of forever to get this chapter posted, but, alas, it's here! I need to give a HUGE shout out to hopelessromantic5, without her this chapter would have never happened. Check out her story Master of My Soul; it's a Jake/Seth fic, it's pretty dark, but I like it. One more thing, please don't expect quick updates from me for awhile. I'm thinking it won't be until January that I can promise regular updates. I lied it seems, I have one other thing to mention. I didn't reply to any reviews for chapter forty-seven out of sheer laziness so please don't take offense! I didn't just ignore you, I ignored everybody!

_**WARNING: **__You will being reading balls, shaft, cock, dick, hardness_, _etc., multiple times over. So, if you don't like gay sexy times... what the fuck is wrong with you?_

* * *

**Chapter Forty-eight  
**

Paul's breath felt hot against the soft skin of my neck as he kissed his way along my jawline – his trembling body was positioned between my bare legs while my equally bare back rested on a set of cozy blankets that were spread out on the folded down rear seat of his truck. The irony was beautiful, we had to meet my parents in their office this morning to talk about exactly what Paul and I were getting up to... and how we shouldn't do it. I honestly couldn't help myself when it came to my wolf, I woke up incredibly early this morning craving nothing but him. I felt bad waking him when I called so early, yet he sounded excited and eager to see me. I told him I only wanted to talk, and in essence that was somewhat true, but he knew me all too well and when I met him in my wolf form a mile or so down an old logging road I saw that he had already gotten the back seat made up for us. Admittedly, I like to think he did it for himself rather than me, and I am certainly tempted to believe that since the second I shifted back his hands were running along my naked sides while his perfectly moist and warm lips kissed mine.

I happily smiled because of the kiss he gave me and turned my head away slightly to give him my cheek which he didn't hesitate to treat just like my lips. "I said I wanted to talk." I teasingly murmured.

"Shhh..." He hushed as his large warm hand glided down from my waist and over a round cheek of my ass to give it a light squeeze. "I don't." Believe me when I say I loved every moment and sensation of him lifting me into the truck, lying me on my back, situating himself between my legs, and kissing me like I wasn't going to live to see another day. However, what I loved even more than that was the way Paul's body trembled against mine; I knew part of it was nerves, yet I also knew the other part was anticipation – it was easy to tell with the hardness inside his jeans that he was reacting to me the same way I was to him.

While his lips made love to mine I slid a hand between us to cup his bulge and give him better friction. He rewarded me with a groan and his hand brushed it's way up my chest, past my ring, and gripped the short strands of my hair as our kiss intensified. I wouldn't, and couldn't stop myself from undoing the button on my wolf's pants and slowly unzipping them. Using both hands I pushed the material down his waist and to my utter pleasure he didn't hesitate to press his larger, harder, and bare shaft to mine. I let out an appreciative moan as I dug my fingers into the smooth copper skin of his back and I felt the corner of his lips upturn while he continued to kiss me. It made my heart sore that he was loving how his body felt on mine; it gave me the confidence to wrap my legs around him and ever so slowly begin to rock my hips.

My wolf responded almost immediately with a dominating growl and used the hand that was in my hair to pull my head to the side to expose my neck for him. His teeth bit my sensitive flesh, though not enough to break the skin, but certainly enough to bruise it – I honestly didn't care, actually I wanted more, it felt amazing to have Paul's instincts rising to the surface and taking control. I gave him a whimper of submission that he seemed to enjoy, yet I mourned the loss of contact when he lifted his body from mine to tug off his button-up shirt along with his undershirt from his muscular torso and remove his pants and boxer briefs from around his thighs.

Once he was nude he gave me a bit of a smirk before leaning between the two front seats and opening the center console. He returned with a bottle of lube in hand and I gave him an eager smile while I idly stroked my needy erection. Sex, that's all I could think of, sex, _sex_, and _more_ sex. It was ridiculous how badly I wanted him inside me – I felt as if our relationship would never feel complete until the day we mated... if we ever mated... I prayed with all my might that my wolf wanted it just as much as I.

Paul lifted his brows and gave his head a shake. "Don't look so excited, Ryan, there's not a chance in hell that I'd take my angel's virginity in the backseat of my truck." He firmly asserted.

I gave him a pout in response to his words – the gods were truly against me. "Just know that I'm ready whenever you are." I pitifully murmured in disappointment.

My wolf gave me a small smile. "Sweetheart, you've been thinking you're ready since you hit puberty. You aren't." He said this nicely, but it seemed like he was talking to a two-year-old.

"Don't patronize me." I whined with my pout morphing into a frown. "I don't think I'm ready, I know I am."

Paul's smile turned cheeky. "You think you know you're ready." He told me softly as he came back between my legs and hovered over me to give my forehead a kiss. "You're not."

I scowled up at my wolf. "I think it's you that isn't ready."

Paul chuckled and gave me another kiss, this time on the tip of my nose. "Well, there is that, but even if that wasn't an issue I still wouldn't give you what you want. I may love my imprint more than anything and anyone in this world, yet just because he wants something doesn't mean I should give it to him."

I lifted my head and pecked his lips with mine. "I think you've forgotten something, I am a prince." I playfully reminded him. "I get whatever I want."

Paul shook his head as he quietly laughed. "What a greedy wolf I have... is my prince willing to settle for a little something less? I promise it will be nothing short of royal treatment."

I quirked a brow in interest. "Maybe, what does this royal treatment involve?" I questioned inquisitively.

My wolf grinned at me. "It's a surprise, but you will_ not _be disappointed, your highness."

"And if I am?"

"I guess you'll just have to _punish_ me then." He said as his grin faded into a smirk.

I nodded with a grin of my own. "Deal." He smiled back at me before dropping the lube at my side and attacking my lips with his as if he were starved and the only thing that would give him sustenance was my mouth. He aggressively growled turning the kiss intense and full of need on his behalf, I could hardly believe he had been talking so calmly mere seconds ago considering how impassioned he was now.

Paul lowered his waist and once again pressed his hardness to mine which elicited a languid moan from him. He was quick to rock his hips and give the both of us the delightful euphoria of skin on skin creating just the right amount of friction. My arms wrapped their way around him to hold his chest to mine while his fingers ran along the outer side of my thigh, leaving goosebumps in their wake, and as he came to the slight bend in my knee he lifted it. With my knee raised his hand slid down the back of my thigh and gripped tightly right before he reached my ass.

My wolf's hips picked up the pace and mine started to play along. The heady scent of his arousal, his heavy intake of breath through his nose, and the strong beat of his heart was a tell tale sign of just how much he was enjoying my body, and that, _that_, gave me more pleasure than him between my legs. His grip slackened on my thigh and his fingers slowly made their way to the small curve separating my ass from my leg. I lifted my waist upwards and towards him so he could glide his hand underneath me to touch me where he wanted – his strong fingers dug into the skin of my round cheek and pinched my flesh in his rough grasp. I moaned in response to the minimal bit of pain. I had to be a masochist, I loved that my wolf was so turned on that he was having trouble being careful with me. If I had it my way he'd lose all inhibition and let his sexual desires lead the way... as far as I'm concerned my body is as much mine as his, he can do whatever he pleases with it.

Paul's lips parted from mine and they brushed their way to my neck where he nipped and sucked the tender spot where he'd previously bitten. I tilted my head to the side to give him better access which he took full advantage of. He affectionately kissed his way to the lobe of my ear and with the tip of his tongue he softly traced it along the outer shell of my ear making my hairs excitedly stand on end. The warmth of his breath close to my ear made me shudder ever so nicely, and I felt him smile against me in reaction.

My wolf took his hand from underneath me and swept it slowly, painfully slowly, along my hip toward my ribs – I gave a little whimper and I forced my cock harder against Paul's to get all the good sensations his closeness had to offer. Suddenly, my wolf decided he was made of pure evil and lightly chuckled as he lifted himself to his hands and knees to hover over me. "Such a horny boy." He teasingly whispered. He's sure one to talk...

I nodded with a whiny little moan as I let my hands fall to my sides. "This isn't royal treatment, Paulie, this is royal torture."

"Patience." Paul breathed with a smile as he lifted a hand from the blankets to run his fingers through the front of my short hair. "I needed to see you."

I smiled crookedly back at my wolf. "What do you see when you look at me?"

Paul leaned down and kissed my lips. "My future." He murmured.

I grinned, though I couldn't stop myself from laughing slightly. "Oh, Paulie, I love it, but that's the corniest thing I've ever heard!"

"Fuck off." He said while he laughed along with me. "You should be happy with what you've got – if not, we can go back to the way things were if you like. You know, like when I was afraid of my own dick, showered with shorts on, and denied the possibility of ever loving you intimately."

I fervently shook my head in disagreement as I reached up and pulled him toward me by the back of his neck. "No way, I love you far too much to lose you," I insisted just before I caught his lips with mine. "And that dick of yours too." I mumbled against his mouth. "Can't hide that away."

Paul gave his head a slow shake. "No, we couldn't have that." He whispered while he gave my cheek a nuzzle and reached between us with the hand that had been playing with my hair, and to my absolute excitement, lazily stroked himself. "You've gotten me quite attached to this thing."

My eyes widened with his words. "Seriously?" I queried in surprise.

My wolf met my gaze. "Mhmm." He hummed with a nod. "Everything about you, from your body to your scent, makes me desire you. I have thoroughly defiled you in my thoughts – you're quite the_ naughty_ little thing if I do say so myself."

My brows rose as I gave a light gasp. "Those thoughts don't bother you?"

"Usually, but not always." He quietly answered.

I forced myself not to frown, and instead took a peek at Paul's hand to see him still pleasuring himself. "Being defiled by you sounds rather nice." I told him in effort to get back to sexier topics, plus it was damn true.

My wolf smirked while he eyed me up and down. "You certainly do look ripe for the picking."

I grinned up at Paul. "If you could do anything to me without a care in the world, what would it be?" I questioned, and I reached for my own cock to give it some attention.

Paul sat up while keeping a hold of himself and swatted my hand away from my cock as I was just about to touch it. "I already told you, it's a surprise."

I sat up slightly to smack his hand away from his dick in retaliation. "Well, hop to it then. Don't keep your prince waiting." I playfully said, though his hand snapped to my wrist startling me slightly. I calmed when I realized his grip was loose and he just intended to pull me into a sitting position.

My wolf grabbed the lube, scooted backward guiding me along with him, and leaned against the door as he tugged me onto his lap so I was straddling him. He took my hand in his, holding it palm upward between us and with his other hand he opened the lube with his thumb and squeezed a chilly blob of it into the middle of my palm – he did the same with his own before tossing the stuff aside, though I couldn't help but notice the sweet smell of the lubricant. "Is this strawberry flavoured?" I asked with furrowed brows. He gave me nothing but a smirk and nonchalant shrug of his shoulders in reply.

Giving me a euphoric rush, Paul's large hand encircled my cock, slicking it completely in a few slow strokes. I happily moaned while I rested my head comfortably on the heated bare copper skin of his shoulder and I took him in my hand, making him equally as slippery. As he sighed my wolf tilted his head to the side to lean it against mine. "It feels so much better when you do it." He contentedly groaned. I minutely smiled to myself as I closed my eyes to concentrate on the slow, but firm rhythm of his large hand. I followed the lead of Paul's ministrations and did as he did to me, though I made sure to pay a little extra attention to the head of his penis since his sharp intakes of breath and small shudders of pleasure proved to me that it was something he liked very much.

I, on the other paw, quite liked how obvious it was that my wolf also enjoyed my ass, which his free hand was currently groping – I, of course, had no aversion to this; as matter of fact I adore the way he appreciates it. It filled me full of confidence because I knew my behind wasn't something Paul was scared of or repulsed by; instead he seemed to relish it. I thought that was one hell of a step in the right direction for him.

My wolf's heart began to pick up speed as his hips began to rock in time with my hand. "Fuck, Ryan, I want more." He breathily huffed.

I straightened and met his soulful brown eyes. "What do you want?"

"More of you." He groaned with need as he let go of my dick and reached around me to pull me even closer to him. His hand quickly came back to my front, though he also grabbed hold of himself and pressed the two of us together. I desperately wanted to give him the best time possible, so I pushed his hand away from us and took over for him while I gently thrust my hips along with his. "Yes..." He breathed as he leaned his head back against the window. "You're doing it perfectly."

Paul's hands squeezed my thighs and I watched his eyes close and his lips part. His muscular chest rose and fell as each shaky breath passed his lips – it was then I began to work my hands tighter and faster around us. "Mmm," He moaned. "Keep that up and you'll make me cum." I furrowed my thin brows and bit my bottom lip; I don't think he has any idea just how hot he is, especially when words like that come out of his mouth.

Completely on their own accord my hips rocked with more zest in an attempt to hurry along my release so I could finish with him. My wolf's eyes popped open. "Shit, shit, shit, stop!" He heavily panted as he shoved my hands away from us. I gazed at him in concern, but he made me feel better by giving me a carefree smile. "Sorry, I'm hardly used to touching myself, let alone having you do it – I was about to finish. It would be extremely rude of me to orgasm before his highness, don't you think?"

I shook my head no with a smile of my own. "I would have loved the show." I assured him. His smiled broadened and he tugged me into an embrace.

With my chest pressed against my wolf's I could feel the pounding of his heart, and I'm certain he felt the flutter of mine as he spoiled me with wonderfully loving kisses. Paul rose to his knees, though ducked to avoid hitting the roof, and my legs wrapped around his waist along with my arms around neck. He continued to kiss me, his tongue expertly exploring mine, and he shuffled forward to lie my back on the blankets. His hands glided up the sides of my body and came to cup my cheeks. He heartily moaned into the kiss which caused my toes to curl and me to once again smile. He smiled right back at me and happily nipped at my bottom lip. "Ready for your surprise?" He murmured and placed a few chaste kisses on my cheeks and nose.

I giddily grinned. "I haven't gotten it yet?" I queried.

My wolf shook his head with a chuckle. "Not even remotely."

I nodded and ran my hands along his shoulders and down his arms. "I'm very ready." I eagerly insisted.

Again my wolf chuckled which filled me full of excitement. "I don't know why I bothered to ask." He playfully stated and found my lips with his. The kiss lasted only a few short seconds before he moved on to my neck; he continued to sweep his lips downward and across my collarbone.

Paul bundled some of the blankets under my head to prop me up so I could watch him without straining my eyes. I rested my arms at my sides and my wolf went back to where he left off – his lips made their way across my chest from my clavicle and when his hot breath met my nipple I felt myself shiver in delight, yet when his lips closed over the little bud of flesh with his tongue swirling around it while his right thumb and forefinger rolled the other nipple between them it took everything I had to hold back an overzealous moan.

"You like it?" Paul asked, his breath fanning my damp nipple causing goosebumps to rise.

"A lot."

My wolf mischievously smirked. "Too bad." He whispered as he let go of my perked nipple and touched his lips to the center of my chest. As he slowly made his way lower his hands blissfully slid their way up my thighs from my knees and to my abdomen, his thumbs just barely brushing against the short curls of my pubes as he skimmed his palms upwards. They lightly went over the small waves of my abs to just below my pectorals and back down to hold my hips.

Paul's mouth paused just above my navel and he tilted his head minutely to meet my green eyed gaze. "Angel, you're so fucking sexy." He flirtatiously said with his lips brushing against my skin. I blushed, and furiously so, I didn't think I was sexy in the slightest. "You're even sexier with those pink cheeks." He complimented, although that smirk of his returned. "They lie and tell me you're nothing but an innocent boy, but I know better. I know the truth."

"What's the truth?" I questioned.

Paul turned his head and glanced at my achingly hard cock that had gathered a slight pool of pre-cum on my abdomen. He flicked his brown eyes back to mine. "You want me so fucking badly."

"That's no secret." I said while smirking back at him.

"True." My wolf playfully agreed. His eyes fell from mine as he kissed his way around my navel to my right leg. His lips brushed their way down my thigh while one of his hands held beneath my knee to lift it and grant him better access as his other hand teased the sensitive area between my thigh and groin. "But I know something you don't know." He seductively stated. I went to touch myself, though yet again Paul refused to let me – he sure as hell knew how to get my cock painfully excited and raring to go, but I feared it would be left that way and I certainly feared the torture blue balls would inflict upon me.

I sighed and pouted. "Please tell me."

My wolf nodded and kissed his way back down my thigh to replace his teasing hand with his lips. My breath hitched in my throat because not only was the feeling amazing but the sight of my dick touching Paul's cheek had me in shock. "I want you so fucking badly too." He groaned against the delicate skin between my thigh and cock.

He abruptly moved his head a mere few inches to the side. "Paul!" I loudly exclaimed at the very moment his lips grazed my cock.

My wolf darted upright with a startled expression on his face. "Oh, god, I'm so sorry, I thought you'd want it!" He vehemently proclaimed.

I fervently shook my head. "No, no, I do! I so fucking do! I just didn't expect it, especially from you!"

Paul instantly perked back up and he gave me a goofy little smile with a quirked eyebrow. "Who else were you expecting to show up down there?" He jestingly queried.

I smiled at my wolf, but I also rolled my eyes. "Hush, you know what I meant." I grumbled.

Paul nodded. "Yeah-yeah, can I get back to your surprise now?"

My brows rose in surprise. "You planned this?" I asked.

My wolf let out an annoyed sigh, though he smiled minutely at me. "Do yourself a favour, Ryan... shut up." I felt my cheeks heat up with his words and watched him bend back toward me.

Paul licked his lips to moisten them before he pressed his mouth back to the base of my cock once again. I inhaled a large breath of air as he cupped my balls while his lips and tongue trailed downward, yet my lungs instantly stopped working when one of my balls entered his mouth. The pleasurable feeling, the warmth and wetness he gave me was indescribable, but I _loved_ the way he rolled my balls over his tongue and left not flesh untouched by his mouth.

He gradually made his way back to my shaft and kissed his way to the tip as he gently massaged my sack. My wolf lifted my cock from my abdomen with his spare hand and as he met my eyes he took the head of it into his mouth. A gasp escaped me and the muscles in my legs tightened while my hands came up to reach for Paul – my first instinct was put a hand on either side of his head to guide him along, yet I quickly thought better of it and my hands ended up hovering in the air for a few moments before I could figure out what to do with them.

My wolf's mouth left me. "You want to touch me?"

"Badly." I breathed with a nod. He gave me a smile and took his hand from my balls, sliding it up my abdomen. My arms dropped, one hand going to hold his and the other to the blankets at my side.

"Better?" He asked and I once again nodded. "Good." He whispered, his breath fanning my dick, causing it to twitch in needy anticipation.

Paul's eyes dropped from mine as his tongue flattened at the base of my hardness and licked painfully slowly to the tip – his tongue felt warm against me, but it was the silky wetness of it that had me using all my strength not to shut my eyes and turn into a puddle of mush. I had to watch my Paulie sucking me; for one I never really thought it would happen, and for two he was so damn right about one thing, I've been dreaming about this since puberty, heck, probably even before. I swear the second I found out what my dick was capable of I wanted that wolf to worship the hell out of it, and believe me when I say I wanted to do that exact same thing to his. I was a perverted little boy... not that much has changed, but I figure I need to be cut some slack. Look at who my biological father is, I never stood chance – perv is in my genes.

"Oh god..." I breathily moaned as Paul's mouth took me to the hilt, his pink moist lips touching his thumb and forefinger that were circled around my cock to keep it upright. He swallowed around me – the heat, the tightness, and the pleasure making me squirm. Steadily he brought the head of my dick back to his tongue and I pinched my brows together with my full lips parting as he teased me by flicking and swirling his talented tongue around it.

"More." I meekly begged with a little thrust of my hips. "Please more." My wolf let my shaft fall from between his lips and with a minute smirk he drifted his tongue away from it and back over my balls to give them the same treatment as minutes before. "Paul..." I whiningly sighed. My wolf paid no mind to me and continued on with his euphoric torture. As his mouth kissed, licked, and caressed my balls his left hand gradually started a slow rhythm up and down my cock while his other one let go of my hand and came to gently rub my perineum.

"God, Paul..." I blissfully hissed. "Your mouth... suck me." I docilely demanded, which hardly made it a demand at all – I was practically pleading with him to give me more of the unbelievable pleasure I now know he is capable of giving me.

My wolf's lips and tongue left my flesh as he looked up at me. "Tell me how much you want it." He _demanded_, and unlike me it actually sounded like an order. It was hot, it was seriously really damn hot.

"So much..." I breathlessly moaned. "So fucking much."

Paul minutely, though devilishly smiled. "Do you want to cum?" He questioned as he stopped the movement of his hands which caused me to whimper at the loss of the good sensations.

I tightly gripped the blankets on either side of me. "Make me cum, Paul." I desperately implored. I had no shame, not when it came to my mate and my cock.

He took his hands off me completely. "Do you want to cum hard?"

I groaned at just the thought, yet it really seemed as if we were going in the wrong direction here. "Yes, god, please, yes." Like I'd ever say no.

His smiled faded. "Do you trust me?" I furrowed my brows in reaction; I didn't understand the point of this question.

"Of course, with anything." I assured him.

My wolf's smile returned. "I hoped you'd say that." He said while he leaned back to pick up the lube from behind him. He opened the bottle, spread a generous amount over the fingers of his right hand, and chucked the lubricant aside. "Angel, I want you to close your eyes and pretend like nothing exists except for what you are feeling." My heart took off in a gallop as my nerves skyrocketed, though I did exactly what I was told to do and closed my eyes.

I felt Paul take hold of my cock as he used his tongue to trace its way along my sure to be weeping slit before taking me into his mouth. As he sucked me, his lips rhythmically going from head to base while his tongue firmly massaged the underside of my dick, he placed his slick fingers on my perineum and leisurely they slid lower and lower until one of them met a part of me I thought Paul would never dare go. I gasped and my chest heaved at the brand new feeling – I had no idea I'd be so sensitive or that it'd feel as erogenous as it did.

While he gently circled my opening he groaned around my hardness which sent an exciting vibration all the way to my toes. My breath came out in pants when the suction of his mouth increased, though it was when he carefully pressed his finger into me that a loud moan escaped past my lips – perhaps it was mainly in surprise, yet I couldn't deny that I liked the gentle touch of his finger beginning to fill me.

The hand that held the base of my shaft left me as my wolf's pace quickened around my hardness and his finger steadily worked its way in and out of me, yet continued to go a bit deeper each time he pressed into me. However, when he added a second finger and slightly curled them upwards while he made his motions I thought I just about lost it. "Oh fuck!" I exclaimed with my eyes popping open and my hands fisting the blankets so tightly my knuckles turned white. My wolf immediately halted his actions and met my eyes as if asking me if he should continue. "Don't stop!" I cried. "Don't fucking stop!"

He broke eye contact and went right back to what he was doing previously, although that's exactly when I noticed he had his left hand between his legs stroking his large erection. I could hardly pay any attention to the fact that he was getting off on_ getting me off_ since the combined sensations of my wolf's delectable mouth and his digits deep down my most sensitive and private area made my body react like never before. It started with a small tingle on the base of my erect member; each time Paul's mouth would engulf it, that warm and moist cave made my head spin and my heart race. The waves of pleasure spread to my whole body like flames that engulfed me in a blanket of passion and need. My tongue was dry from the constant open mouthed breathing and unabashed moaning. My hands moved by an invisible force and went to Paul's head as he bobbed up and down – I worried it might bother him, but I couldn't help myself. It was getting to be too much, I never wanted this to end but I needed to have my release. My wolf was giving me pleasure like never before; he played me like a fiddle pushing every button that will eventually trigger my elation.  
There was that familiar stirring in my balls and I was trying my damnedest to hold back, to prolong the experience, but it was futile, I was losing the battle. I was falling deeper and deeper with each bob of Paul's head and every movement of his able fingers. I unashamedly groaned as he took my length in, yet only to pull out and play with the leaking head, his talented tongue going in circles and licking the slit. He was teasing; torturing me like he had been doing for the last hour and I fucking loved it!  
Never before had I felt so loved, needed and desired – this moment was my personal definition of heaven. I looked down, and for an instant Paul's eyes connected with my own. He didn't for a moment slow his ministrations as he looked at me with a lust filled gaze while twirling his tongue over my tip. He pushed his two fingers even deeper grazing that sweet spot inside me that made me tilt my head back to let out a moan and a few curses. The point of no return was approaching and I welcomed it. At first it was only ripples one after the other as my balls raised and my cock twitched. I'm positive I was leaking pre-cum which Paul lapped like a kitten.

I felt warm and cold at the same time, my skin tingling as each ripple got bigger and bigger, even my balls got tight and pulled close to my body. My muscles tensed one after the other, tension going beyond my muscles and building up deep inside me. With every passing second my penis felt more sensitive with a surge of electricity running up the shaft. Paul took me deep into his mouth one last time with his finger deep inside me and I had no choice but give up all control to my man. I was losing it fast; I became a spectator of my own body letting the orgasm take over. I caught the wave and rode it all the way to the shore. My moans of pleasure were mixed with the name of my perfect mate – I tried to warn him that in less than a moment I'd release, yet I was so incredibly high on the euphoria my wolf was creating that my mouth couldn't form the words needed.

I got even harder just before I felt the hot fluid escape my body. The moment was beautiful, just like I always dreamt it would be – nothing else existed; it was just me, my wolf and my pleasure. Paul did something I never thought he would; as my seed spilled into his mouth he sucked even more greedily, he couldn't get enough of it, and he gulped every drop down, his moaning adding to my pleasure. My hands slipped from his hair and fell to the blankets, which I squeezed in attempt to anchor my body to this reality... this was far better than any fantasy my mind could come up with. My whole body quivered as the spasms subsided – the ecstasy was almost palpable in the small space we occupied. Trying to catch my breath I throw my head back to inhale deeply, my body radiating bliss. I was so grateful to my Paulie, and when I looked to him a small smile adorned his lips. Like me he was happy.

My wolf moved up my body and hovered over me to playfully nip my neck and steal kisses. He was like a little kid with a brand new toy and I was that toy, how in the heck did I get so lucky? He thrust his hips forward trying to create some friction, but I wouldn't dream of making him do all the work, he deserved a hell of a lot more.

I squirmed under him trying to shake him off me, which caused a frown to form on Paul's face. He probably thought I was being selfish and didn't want to do anything for him in return – he couldn't be more wrong. "Paulie, do you trust me too?" I murmured in question. My wolf nodded and I pushed him onto his back, his body landing in a less than gracious way. He was taken by surprise but his grin told me to keep going, he was doing good.  
I moved to sit at his side and folded my legs under me while letting him get comfortable on the soft and cozy blankets, and with a quiet sigh he relaxed and closed his eyes. I wish that I could see into his mind and know what he was thinking, but since I couldn't do that I had to work to make his body concentrate on just one thing, sex. But not any sex, sex with his imprint, with his mate. I claimed his lips and tasted myself on his tongue – it was different, yet good, and I hardly wanted to stop. My hand traced a twisted path starting on his neck, going down his chest only pausing to tease one of his nipples. His moan of pleasure was enough of a green light for me to keep going. His skin was burning, the thin film of sweat evaporating fast.

My fingers traced the hills and valleys of his perfect abdomen venturing lower each time until I reached the small patch of hair framing his cock. If he thought this would be it he was sadly mistaken, he tortured me as much as he wanted, two could play this game. Instead of grabbing his shaft like he wanted I took a detour going down his thigh as far as I could reach. Gradually, my exploration moved back north, my hand teasing his hip and I trailed my fingers to his navel which I circled softly. I wanted to wake up as many nerve endings in his body as I could. I motioned to move toward his chest when he let out a growl. My wolf was clearly not willing to wait any longer, his cock demanded attention and I was more than willing to provide it.  
Starting at the base, my index finger grazed the hard flesh; I was taken aback by the beauty of him. Under the unforgiving light of the morning sun that shone through the windows his cock stood proudly, the skin tense as it pulsated under my touch. The slit glistened with the pearl of pre-cum that had formed. Oh god, I wanted to taste him, to feel the weight of his dick on my tongue. I couldn't resist and moved to take him into my mouth just like he had done to me. As I was doing this I felt a warm hand touching the side of my face. Paul caressed my cheek with the back of his knuckles making me look up. In his eyes I could see hesitance and worry. That was the last thing I wanted, my wolf wasn't ready for such an intimate touch from me and I had to give up my intentions.

Sitting back I touched him tenderly with the pads of my fingers. Paul once again closed his eyes and I saw the tension disappear from his shoulders. Closing my fist around his hardness I moved it up and down as slow as I could manage – the lubricant that I had earlier put on him long gone. I wanted to build Paul's orgasm not just give him a quick hand job. His breathing quickened, his chest rising in sync with his quiet moans. I kept one hand wrapped around his stiff shaft while the other one gently rolled his balls across my palm. Every time I squeezed his cock lightly he would let out a small whimper, sighing deeply. He was so hard but at the same time his skin felt soft. I ran my hand up his cock towards the head to find it wet, and using the moisture from his own body I spread it over the spongy head – this elicited the most sensual reaction from my wolf; he bucked his hips looking for more contact and near silently pleaded for me to make him cum.  
My fingers were slick with his fluid as they ran down his shaft once more. It was so different from when I touched myself; I was doing something for Paul, this made the act much more pleasurable. Though, to me, the most important thing was that my wolf was enjoying it, and I could tell he had gone off to somewhere nice by the low groans originating deep in his throat. His dick swelled in my hand but I didn't want Paul to finish just yet, I was loving it all too much for it to stop – watching him bite his lip and squirm under my touch was heavenly. It was becoming obvious that my wolf was reaching his ecstasy; he was so close even I could feel it. His need was being fulfilled, he was ready.  
After letting out a huge sigh Paul grabbed my hand and moved it to the pulsating head of his cock. I got the message, and carefully squeezed and rubbed the weeping head. In no time my wolf had his back slightly arched, eyes pinched shut, nostrils flared from sucking in laboured breaths, and all the while begging me to not stop. Blindly, he took my hand from his sack, laced his fingers with mine, and clenched it at his side – with me in his grasp he was able to let go of all control, insecurities, and fear. As the muscles in his abdomen became taut and his legs began to tremble my wolf erupted onto my hand while saying my name under his breath. His inky dark brows furrowed and his lips parted to let the most tantalizingly erotic moan escape from between them. I fisted his dick, creating more shock waves inside him and his body shook in ecstasy on the folded down seat making the whole truck move.

When my wolf had been pumped dry I slowly let go of his shaft as he peeled open his eyes – he looked completely and utterly sated. While still lying on his back he reached above his head for the grey muscle shirt he'd earlier been wearing under a plaid button-up shirt and used it to wipe his cum off my hand, though much to my dismay he acted like he was shamefully embarrassed. Paul didn't talk, but he smiled softly at me as soon as he deemed my skin clean.

Pushing his shirt aside he extended his arms, welcoming me against his body, and I laid with a leg across his thighs and an arm comfortably on his stomach while my body was snugly pressed into his side. As he wrapped his strong arms around me I chortled while he pressed overzealous tickling kisses to my cheeks and forehead. "Sweetie, you're so damn perfect in every way." He murmured to me and spoiled my needy skin with more kisses. "I swear to god I'll kill anybody who tells you any different." My brows rose and my cheek brushed against his chest as I tilted my head to better look at his face. I wasn't psychic by any means, but if that is the case I foresee a lot of murder in the near future.

My wolf gave me a silly smile while contentedly caressing my hair with his warm copper hand. "Metaphorically speaking." He quipped.

I smiled back at my wonderful mate. "I love you so much, Paulie."

Paul sighed and his arms tightened around me while he pressed a firm kiss into my hair. "God, angel, I love you so much fucking more." I met his gaze and it felt extremely intense, yet comforting in a way. "You can't know, there's just no way that you could ever understand how much I feel for you."

I stretched my neck and placed loving little kisses along his jawline. "Can you try to explain to me what it is that you feel?" I queried. Looking down at me he nodded, though funnily enough he also puckered his lips – this caused me to chuckle, but I gave him exactly what he was after and gave him my mouth for him to kiss. He tenderly swept his lips across mine, but completely ruined it by grinning. It was a good ruin, the best ruin, my wolf was happy.

He nuzzled his cheek against me and peacefully hummed. "You make me want to be everything I'm not. I want to be a man... I want to be this unbreakable, unshakable, invincible man that can protect you and our future puppies from everything bad in the world, though more often than not I feel like a destroyed little boy. It's like I've been shattered into millions of tiny pieces and I'm stuck putting myself back together one miniscule piece at a time. Everybody helps with the cleanup, especially you and James, but the fact that it's a scavenger hunt for each spec of me makes it one _long _fucking process. Plus, I'm so damn flimsy and can fall apart in an instant – I don't mean to, I try with all my might to hold myself together, yet sometimes the pressure is just too much to handle." The wolf paused and let out a huff of breath. "I'm not sure if I've always been stubborn or if you made me so. Maybe at one point I was determined to stay miserable, or maybe I was determined to think that it was impossible not to be, but I do know you've made me determined_ g_et the fuck on with it and build a life for myself. Although, if anything, most of the time I feel like I'm playing house."

"Do you feel like you're pretending right now?" I questioned.

Paul shook his head and nuzzled me once again. "No way." He emotionally insisted. "Sweetheart, you've made me feel so much good this morning. When I've got my arms around you like I do now finding every piece of me feels extremely worth it – I want you so badly, yet because of my own shitty thoughts you often feel so far out of reach, _but_ like I said, I'm stubborn, I'm determined, you're my imprint, you're mine and nobody else can have you."

"Mmm," I hummed with a smile. "That last part sounds nice."

"I'm yours too, right?" He curiously asked, though there was a slight hint of uncertainty in his tone.

I moved so my torso rested on my wolf's and I gazed down at him. "Paulie, you've been mine since I was five." I firmly asserted.

My wolf smiled up at me. "You were the most beautiful puppy, Ryan, and I'm not saying that because I'm terribly biased, you just were." He enthusiastically complemented. "I can't wait until you give me puppies – two sons and a daughter please. Anything after that is up to you."

I let out a bark of laughter. "So, what, I just mail off my sperm to some factory with the details, and six weeks later they send me back my order?" I jested.

Paul chuckled and lifted his head to give my lips kisses. "I don't think it works quite like that, plus I was kinda hoping you'd do me a favour."

I quirked a brow. "A favour, huh?" I quietly questioned and I leaned down to give him some of my own kisses.

"Yes." He said with a nod. "It would be mighty kind of you if you'd do me the pleasure of growing yourself a uterus."

I gave my wolf a crooked smile. "You and your weird fantasy."

"Hey now, I always thought angels were just fantasy, but, look, here you are."

I shook my head with a sigh. "Angels aren't real."

Paul gave me a playful smirk. "Ah, yes, an angel _would_ say that." He teased.

I smirked right back at him. "Okay, so say I could have puppies, you do realize how they're made, right?"

My wolf pinched his brows together. "Don't tell me you wouldn't absolutely love my seed inside you."

My eyes widened and my jaw dropped. "Where has my Paulie gone?" I breathed.

He lazily smiled. "Shh, I'm in la-la land right now."


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter Forty-nine  
**

_Point of View: Jacob  
_

I was worried goddamn sick about my husband – he'd lost it, he had really gone and fucking lost it. He was motherfucking basket case... a sexy basket case, but a huge big old basket case nonetheless. God only knows what he's saying to our son down in our office right about now. He was bitching half the night about this, this, and that. I really don't know what he was talking about to be honest, I was hardly paying attention. My guess is Paul... it's always about that fucking wolf. If I didn't know better I'd call Eddie a jealous little school boy considering the amount of time he wastes whining about Paul with Ryan. I don't know why he can't just shut the fuck up about it already. I get it, he's painfully drilled it into my head over and over – he doesn't want our puppy with the wolf, but good god, is it really necessary for him to keep those kissable lips of his flapping about it? I like to think my mate is smart, though half the fucking time I don't know what the hell he is thinking. He does such stupid and ridiculous things, and for what, what's the payoff? He's miserable, he makes other people miserable, right now I'm fucking miserable, so what the bloody hell is the goddamn point of him being a stuck up cunt all the time? I'm seriously dying for someone to tell me. I'd love to know.

I hit Edward once years ago and even to this day I can still feel the guilt for it, but lately, or more like always... I wanna hit him. I want to fucking hit some goddamn sense into his goddamn senselessness! I wouldn't actually do it, I wouldn't ever. I see him struggling and flailing about, but I don't know why; I don't understand. He's like fish out of water or a snail without a shell... I guess that makes him sushi or a slug – not a good metaphor. So, how do I toss him back in the water and where can I get him a new shell? I hate sushi and I'm not very fond of slugs either. This has to end.

I know he's dealing with unresolved stuff, like his father, and most likely his time in the lab too, but shit, is that enough to make someone like Edward who was once so calm, collected and always the voice of reason turn into whatever, _whoever_, he is now? Is our babies growing up too fast for him? Is the idea of Paul with our son really too much for him to handle? Was it something _I _did? What the fuck is wrong with my imprint?

"So, um, you look like the epitome of troubled..." Paul put in, breaking the long and drawn out silence between us. We were sitting on the blue couch in the nook in mine and Ed's bedroom. I was supposed to be lecturing him, giving him a big long sex talk and threatening that if he ever touched my boy his death would ensue... or at least that's what Edward told me to do, which, of course, was totally fucking fruitless; I wasn't going to do that. Yet, with my mate having 24/7 access to my mind no matter how far apart we were he'd know that, so I could only assume when he was done with Ryan he'd make an attempt to ruin Paul's day, or week, fuck, perhaps even his month. Actually, the wrath of my husband is apparently quite severe... maybe he'll try to send the wolf off to his death again. What a prick. I love that fucking prick.

I let out a huff of breath and shook my head in disagreement. Considering the absolute shit I made of Paul's life I think not bitching about my woes is the least I could do. "Nah, just got lost in thought is all."

"I see..." Paul awkwardly replied. "So, are you going to tell me not to fuck your son or what? I'm assuming that's why I'm here."

My eyes widened and I turned to my right and lifted my leg up on the sofa so I could face the wolf entirely. "Look, I'm not Edward, not even remotely – I'm not going sit here and try to stop the inevitable; that's fucking futile and waste of both our time. I'm well aware that when you're both ready it's going to happen, and I personally think my opinion doesn't have any place in the matter. I don't know if that makes me a bad father or not, but he's your imprint and because of that I trust that you'll always treasure and love my boy, plus we all know how happy you make him. What more could I really ask for my puppy?"

The wolf gave me a minute smile. "Now if only Ed could wrap his garbled little mind around that."

My eyes fell away from him as I picked a few pieces of lint off the sofa. "Don't I fucking know it..." I sighed to myself.

Paul reached out and brushed his fingers against my knee. "Are you okay, Jake?"

I darted my eyes to his and furrowed my brows along the way – I couldn't remember a time where Paul touched me on his own accord, except when... "Why did you kiss me back?" I curiously asked.

"What?" He breathed in question.

"Years ago, when I thought Edward had been killed on the beach, you spent night after night in bed with me. You kept me company and held me so I wouldn't feel alone. Why?"

Paul shrugged. "You were my alpha, I loved you." He simplistically answered.

"But after everything I had put you through..." My voice caught in my throat, yet I forced myself to continue. "You could have avoided prison if I had listened to you... I beat you, Paul... After everything you dealt with in prison, I beat you. How could you have ever loved me?"

Again he shrugged. "I just did... do. There isn't a reason, and there certainly isn't any logic to it. It's just how I felt... feel."

I nodded in understanding, kind of. "I still don't understand the kiss. I know I started it, but why did you kiss me back? In later months you made it quite clear you were so vehemently against two men together. That kiss confuses me, you were even hard."

An annoyed expression crossed Paul's face as he inhaled a large breath of air. "Because of Edward I saw that you were capable of love; I wanted my alpha to love me too. I was so desperate for your love that I was able to set aside some of my insecurities and try to be what I thought you needed. I wanted to make you better, I wanted to fix and fill that void you felt, and I wanted you to tell me I was worth something because of it. So, as to why I kissed you back, the only answer I really have is because I wanted to. For a few moments my pain went missing and your lips, your warmth, everything about you felt good and I truly felt safe in my alpha's arms, but like with _everything_ you went and fucking ruined it. You forced yourself on me, you terrified me, and you fortified the thought in my head that all men who screw other men were the same." He glared at me and shook his head. "Sick disgusting fucks." He spat.

I sadly frowned. "I'm so sorry, Paul." I uselessly apologized.

The wolf looked away from me as a deep rumbling growl emanated from his throat. "It's okay." He said through gritted teeth.

"It's not." I murmured under my breath.

Paul turned back to face me, his expression still angry, but calming. "It is. Not all that long ago I could hardly look at you without being reminded of all the ways I felt you failed me, _but_ I can't move on from my past if I won't let go of it. The way I see it we're both victims of trauma – your pain caused you to explode, mine made me implode. We were a disaster waiting to happen. I figure we're even, however. I am fucking your son after all." He paused and gave me an arrogant smirk. "Well, will be. Though, do realize that it fills me with much joy that I know, that you know, where my dick will inevitably be." His eyes narrowed in on mine. "I bet he'll feel _so_ good too."

I scowled at the wolf. "You're a twisted bastard." I playfully chastised.

Paul grinned. "Yeah, but this twisted bastard is charming as fuck." He said as he pointed to his chest. "I'm certain that puppy of yours won't hesitate to marry me once I pop the question... you know what that means right?"

I quirked a brow. "I get to call you son?"

He shook his head. "No, it's far, _far _sweeter than that, _daddy_." He teased as he gave my shoulder a nudge. "When you and Ed step down from the throne I'll be King Paul Lahote, now I _do_ say that has quite the ring to it! Although, once I take the throne I have half the mind to dub myself emperor and declare the land my empire – it sounds much more pompous that way. Katie loves it when I do a snooty British accent, but her favourite is my bad ass Russian one. Yakov Fokin loves tea time after nap time. I think I'll take up the Russian one once I'm emperor; not only do the chicks dig it, I sound awesome as fuck... Intimidating too. Oh, and I'm definitely bringing back the guillotine, got to keep myself entertained somehow."

I chuckled at the wolf. "Should I be terrified?" I queried.

The wolf gave a breathy laugh. "No, of course not..." His face turned serious. "Unless you anger me. Don't do it, or off with your head!"

I ran a hand along my neck. "At least it will be quick and painless."

Paul smirked. "I wasn't talking about that head." He informed me.

My eyes widened and I felt a sharp pain in my crotch. "You're fucking evil."

He let out a bark of laughter. "I'd be doing the world a favour, you practically have a biological weapon in your pants." He leaned past me and nodded to my bed outside of the nook. "Considering all the fluids you and your husband must produce with your wild ways, I'm surprised you don't need guttering around that thing."

My nose crinkled. "Man, that's actually pretty fucking gross, but I'm damn flattered you think I'm capable of fucking to such extremes." I gave him a smug smile. "I'd like to think I could." Paul shifted in his seat and his eyes fell downcast. I frowned, he was doing so good, but by the slight change in the wolf's demeanour he was starting to get uncomfortable.

"So, uh, forgot to do the laundry again?" He asked.

I cocked my head in confusion. "What?"

"It was weird the way Ed was dressed yesterday, plus, earlier, I got a brief look at him as you dragged me up the stairs. He was wearing _flannel_ pajama pants and a t-shirt with _wrinkles_ on it. Then there's you... aren't you looking snazzy."

Before I caught his eyes I glanced down at my powder blue pinstriped dress shirt and charcoal grey flat-front pants along with a tie that pulled it all together. "I have to leave for city hall in a bit. As much as I like wearing whatever the fuck I want, I always feel like a bit of tool having my boxers hanging out of my pants which tend to be halfway down my ass while everybody else is dressed in suits."

Paul shook his head while he rolled his eyes and tutted at me. "See, when I'm emperor I will never have that problem. To please me I'll simply demand that they all dress a certain way on the day I plan on arriving... then again, I'll probably have someone to appear on my behalf." He smiled wickedly. "I shouldn't have to be bothered with such trivial things."

"Oh?" I asked in amusement. "And, what will you be doing instead?"

"Seizing the rest of the Americas... and pillaging of course – not that I'll need to, but just because I want to. I'll love to see my people cry and beg for mercy."

This time I rolled my eyes. "You're so fucked up Paul." I said with a chuckle. "But, that does remind me of when I claimed Greenland."

The wolf nodded. "I read about that when I got back. Why the fuck did you want _Greenland_?"

I smiled as I thought about my husband. "Edward and I travelled there years prior and he fell in love with the ice sheets – there's nothing like seeing your imprint in awe of something. It's special, and it truly feels wonderful. So, I did the obvious..." My smile turned into a sappy one. "I got him it for our wedding anniversary. Although, you'll be disappointed to hear that no tears were spent nor was there any pillaging."

"Jesus Christ..." Paul breathed. "If I'm going to outshine you as a husband and king one day, what am I going to have to do? Get Ryan all of Europe for Christmas?"

"Shit, Paul..." I sighed. "Don't even get me started in politics. I swear to god I'm a nice guy, but there are so many countries I want to burn to the fucking ground – it infuriates me how backwards most places are. I've had countries that still hang the gays, burn the vampires, and witch hunt for wolves ask for my alliance." I leaned forward and pulled at my hair. "They try to do it to cover their asses since we could squish them like the little fucking insects they are. Ed and I never even contemplated it... it's never gonna happen for them." I dropped my hands and looked back to Paul. "You're going to be an evil dictator in a few hundred years – if my husband hasn't murdered you by then – you can deal with those countries since I'm fucking sick of them."

The wolf leaned back, relaxing, and crossed his arms. "I think I'll just nuke the fuck out of them." He calmly sighed while feigning being bored.

"Feel like a world war do ya, buddy?" I chuckled in question.

Paul shuddered like a pleasurable shiver ran down his spine. "I'm getting a semi just thinking about all the bloodshed." He jested. My brows furrowed with his words. Jesus, people confused the fuck out me. Paul was back to being comfortable talking about dicks. I don't know why, or what happened to calm his nerves, but I liked him a lot fucking better when he was comfortable with dick talk – I like dick talk. I'm good at dick talk. I like dick period.

"Speaking of your dick... how are things going in that department?" Why the hell am I sugar coating it? "Are you making up for lost time and wanking like a champ?" That's better.

"None of your business, your majesty." He boringly responded, causing me to scowl. I wanted the details.

"Come on!" I implored. "I'm not going to drop the subject, so you may as well just fucking tell me."

"Why do you even care?"

"What do you mean why do I care?" I vehemently queried. "I'm dying for you to reach sexual normalcy. My balls physically ache when I think of your sexual repression. Since I've been married I can count the number of days I haven't had sex on one hand – even when we're furious with each other we still fuck. I can't _not_ fuck him. I crave him in every way – I want to smell his arousal, I want to touch him in the most intimate way with one of the most intimate parts of me, I want to hear his voice telling me how much he _needs_ what I do to him, I want to watch the way his body reacts to the pleasure I give him, and lastly, though by no means the least, I want to feel him orgasm with me still inside him while I whisper in his ear that I love him." Wow, who knew I was so corny?

Paul gave me a little something unexpected, a ghost of a smile. "That hardly sounds like fucking." He mused. "I had you all wrong." He said with a chuckle. "Here I thought you were just some dog when it came to sex, but look at you, making love, how sweet!" He playfully teased.

I smiled back at the wolf. "I like both, it all depends on the mood."

"What's your favourite thing to do?" He curiously asked.

My brows rose and my smile broadened. "You really want to know?" He nodded in reply and I continued on. "I have three favourites. What I just told you about I love to do when Edward is feeling upset or troubled, which, to be honest, is a lot lately. When it comes to truly fucking, I goddamn adore bending him over something and just giving it to him, especially when he's pissed me off." My smile turned slightly timid. "If I tell you this next one can you please keep it to yourself? It's private, and it's special to me."

"You don't have to tell me."

"Paul, there's no one in the world I'd be more willing to share this with than you..." I paused, inhaled a deep breath and reached out to take his hand and held it on my lap. He laced his fingers with mine and I rested my other hand on top of our connected ones. "I'm well aware everybody knows I bottom for Edward every once in awhile – I'd never deny it, I'd never want to. I'd never deny what I'm about to tell you either; it's just one of those things that is special between my mate and I. It's_ our_ thing and that's why I keep it to myself."

Paul gave my hand a small squeeze while offering up a thoughtful smile. "This one is your favourite of the three, isn't it?"

"Yeah." I breathed with nod of my head. "It definitely is."

"What is it then?"

"When my imprint makes love to me." I admitted. "There is nothing more euphoric, nothing more wonderful, and nothing that makes me feel more cared for than when he loves me and my body like that. In those moments he treats me like his king, only_ his_ king. He makes it seem like he needs my body to live, like my heartbeat is his and my lungs breathe for the both of us. He whispers sweet nothings to me, tells me how beautiful he thinks I am, explains how good my body makes him feel, and confesses just how much he loves me. This probably all sounds so cheesy, but whatever, I don't care. Nobody but my imprint can make me feel as special and loved as he does."

Paul sadly frowned as he pulled his hand away from mine. "I'll never know anything of that." He pitifully said.

I pinched my brows together. "Why, because you don't think you'll ever bottom?"

"I know I never will." He quietly responded. I could truly understand why he never would and it really didn't surprise me that he felt that way.

I took his hand back in mine. "You don't have to bottom for your imprint to make love to you, Paul. All you've got to do is let him lead and have his body take care of yours." I halted my talking when I realized I was speaking about my puppy, yet as I continued to hold his sad eyed gaze I felt something shift inside me. I wasn't _just_ Ryan's father, this wolf used to be mine, and as his king, in a way he still is. Maybe I was desperately trying to find an excuse as to why I suddenly wanted nothing more than guide the wolf in the right direction... even if that direction is my son.

I didn't doubt for a second the love Paul claimed to have for my puppy and I really do adore the fuck out of the fact that my boy was so utterly happy and lovestruck. He loved the feeling of love and there is nothing wrong with that, yet I've tried to stay pretty fucking impartial on the subject of Ryan and Paul having a relationship. My husband despises the idea of the two of them together, but my son is so desperately in love with the wolf – I don't particularly want to outwardly side with either. Although I have spoken to Edward plenty of times about how this is what fate intended. Paul imprinted they both want a relationship, we can't fucking stop them. Edward could chuck the wolf to the other side of the earth, fuck, even to the moon and they'd still find their way back to each other.

Would I have picked Paul as a mate for my son? Awhile ago I would have said no, but lately... I'm not so fucking sure. All I want is Ryan to be happy, Paul makes him happy, so what the fuck am I to do? Tell my boy no? Say he can't have his wolf? Kick Paul out of the kingdom?

Setting the feelings of both my imprint's and puppy's feelings aside; if I had things _my_ way Paul would never have to feel the strain of missing his imprint. Ryan would be free to come and go from the palace as he pleased. Paul would be welcome here day and night, 24/7. My husband wouldn't complain. I'd be happy, and we'd all live happily ever fucking after!

Fuck, fuck, _fuck_! Sometimes I feel like I need to scream so goddamn loud. I can certainly hear myself do it in my mind. I hate the way Ed stresses me the hell out, as an alpha I hate seeing restrictions put on only _one _of my puppy's wolves – even if they are mates – and I really, _really_, fucking hate the fact that I always feel like a shit dad because a part of me just wants to see Ryan and Paul get on with their lives together. Call social services, I'm a shitty fucking parent! I have to force myself to care that my seventeen-year-old son lusts after a thirty-year-old man in a seventeen-year-old body. I have to force myself to care that said thirty-year-old man is beginning to reciprocate those feelings. I have to force myself to care that one of these days they'll be fucking like rabbits.

I just don't care... I seriously don't fucking care! Ryan's my son, a teenager, an alpha, a wolf – he wants sex and I don't care if he gets it... _from Paul_. Only Paul. Paul will treat my son like the prince he is. I have no worries. I have no concerns. They _will_ take care of each other. For God's fucking sake why can't Edward just get on the same fucking page for the sake of my sanity! Edward lived with me when he was seventeen. I imprinted on Edward when he was seventeen. Every day we fucked like we'd never get the chance to fuck ever again when he was seventeen. I even wanted to marry Edward when he was seventeen. I love my Eddie to bits, but I seriously don't know a hypocrite bigger than him.

Paul cleared his throat. "Jacob, is there a reason you're trying to crush all the bones in my hand?" He inquired. I snapped my gaze downward and saw his fingers had turned purple in my tight grip.

I let go of his hand and pushed it away. "Sorry." I murmured as I lifted my eyes back to his. For the sake of my imprint I clenched my jaw trying to hold back the many things I wanted to say to the wolf. Ed would be fucking pissed. He'd be so pissed in fact, I think he'd kill both Paul and I... fuck it. "Sex can be beautiful, Paul. What you experienced in you past wasn't sex, it was torture. When you look at Ryan, when he puts his hands on you – he resembles nothing of your past. He loves you, he only wants good things for you, and his touch is gentle; he'd _never_ fucking hurt you. Those men that used you... they are nothing like your imprint, they were evil. Ryan isn't, he's your angel. His kisses, his hands, his body on yours, that should feel heavenly because there's not one iota of him that will lead you back to the hell you endured."

Paul's face went blank as he appeared deep in thought. "I love my hands on him." He seemingly confessed. His brows slightly furrowed and his gaze turned serious. "Ed's going to kill me... whatever... I've been thinking about it half the time I've been here, he's had to have seen it by now. Ryan snuck out this morning to see me. We fooled around a bit. Everything was perfect... until he left. The second he was out of my arms and out of my sight it felt like the weight of the world was crashing down on me. I felt disgusting, dirty... like my skin was crawling with bugs and I had worms in my gut. I used to think he triggered those feelings, but he doesn't. Ryan came back to me, he said the closer he got to home and the further away he got from me the harder it was to run – he knew he had to turn back. I had shifted so we could talk, and while we did we found a nice place to lie down and curl up together. He bathed me in kisses, gave me nuzzles, and quickly those shitty feelings disappeared."

I gave him a small smile and ignored the fact that my son had broken the rules... Ed's rules, not mine. So, I didn't really give a shit. "That's so good, Paul. It's great that he can take all that hurt away."

The wolf shook his head. "No it's not." He sadly moaned as he pressed hands to his eyes. "It's fucking shit." He complained, and dropped his hands to reveal teary eyes. "I want him so fucking badly, Jake. I want to know that I can see him when I need him, but that's impossible. I wish I didn't have to deal with the ache in my chest because we so often have to be apart, and it fucking kills me each time Ed calls to say I have to go another few days without him." Paul squeezed his eyes shut causing tears to spill down his cheeks and he hunched forward to hold his face in his hands. "I fucking miss Edward." He sobbed into his palms. "If I had my best friend and my imprint my life would be perfect, but it isn't... of course it isn't. I don't know what I did to make him treat me like this. I don't know what I did so bad that he'd prefer to see me dead than with his son."

"Jesus, Paul..." I breathed as I pulled him up straight. I quickly wiped away his tears to preserve his dignity and let out a string of thoughts for my husband to hear. _'Happy now, Edward? Do you enjoy hurting one of the people that loves you the most? Is this what you want?'_


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter Fifty  
**

_Point of View: Edward  
_

Besides uselessly telling my son to remain a virgin for all of eternity I hadn't said much, mainly because I felt like a fucking idiot. It seemed like I was just talking to hear myself speak. I think I do that a lot actually. I surprised I'm not more flamboyant, would a jewel encrusted scepter and a matching crown be too much? Perhaps I should don some fine furs and hang some fool in the courtyard – I'd hardly be selfish, I'd invite friends to enjoy the show. I couldn't help but snort to myself at the idiocy of that last statement, which in turn granted me an odd look from my pup. I haven't any friends. I certainly didn't have the right to complain, however. I'm not dimwitted enough to think it wasn't my own fault entirely. I'm a prick, and I'd look like an even bigger one if I denied the notion.

Sitting behind this oversized wooden desk with my son straight ahead on the opposite side, I felt like such a failure. Yesterday I was feeling like a child who'd been reprimanded by their mother when Jacob chewed me out for being such an insensitive nut job... now, well, now I just feel like a failure as husband, father, and friend. I didn't even dare to consider myself Paul's friend. I realize I lost that title the day I started contemplating the pros and cons of removing the wolf from the palace all those years ago. I still stand by my reasoning, I only had good intentions... for my puppy; Paul was left in the dark... with daggers lodged in his back... from me stabbing it. Christ, I'm the ruthless king you read about in fiction novels. I wish I wasn't fact, I'd rewrite the shit out of myself otherwise.

With a thump my forehead hit the desk and I splayed my arms out beside it. I was such a ridiculously hot mess I almost had to laugh at myself. Who sends their supposed best friend to go kill themselves because they _don't _want a relationship with their friend's son in the future? Not only did I do this once, I tried to do it a _second_ fucking time too! _What the fuck is wrong with me?!_ The truly ironic thing about all this is that as soon as he wants my pup he becomes Satan. I desperately need to get my priorities in order. I desperately need to get _myself_ in order, yet sometimes with all this madness inside my head I just want to run. I've alienated everybody. Jasper despises me, Emmett won't even look at me, when I'm near Rosalie she crinkles her nose as if I smell fowl, my own brother wants me to drop dead, and Natalie avoids me like the plague. Don't even get me started on their thoughts or Jacob's pack.

In less than a year my princess will be full grown, and she's far too smart for her own good – she knows exactly what I'm like. I've done my best with her, and I know she dearly loves me... and dearly hates me. I've given her all I can possibly give. She has the biggest and most beautiful room in the palace with the most extravagant things a princess could ever ask for inside it, yet she's still not happy. She wants to live at her mothers. That is not an option, however Natalie is _always_ welcome to live here. She wants to go to school. That is not an option, she has a private tutor that comes _here_. She wants to make friends. I keep telling her that there are plenty of female guards she could get to know, but that just _isn't _good enough. Nothing is ever good enough anymore. Food is either too hot or too cold. The blood I get her isn't ever right either, she didn't want B+, she wanted AB-; one of the hardest ones to find and only reserved for hospital use, _but_ it's her favourite and that's what she wants, so I get it for her, yet once I do, it tastes 'funny', and she doesn't fucking want it.

She doesn't like any of her guards which she has to have – there is absolutely no exception to the rule. Ryan gets away with it, but Rachel is a pretty little girl, it's far too dangerous for her to be on her own. Anything could happen, anybody could try and take her from me. Having Rachel on her own isn't worth the risk. As for Ryan, I hardly have to worry now that Pau... _now that Paul is around_.

If it's any consolation, which I'm sure it isn't, I don't hate the wolf – I just hate everything he represents. I'm not oblivious to the fact that he loves my son, I'm well aware, but he's just a dead predictable end for my puppy. Say Paul stays healthy, then what? They'll get married, have puppies, and eventually become kings, the end. Ryan doesn't seem to understand all the things he is sacrificing for Paul, and what if one day, ten years from now, my pup wakes up and resents that the wolf imprinted on him? What if he wonders what else could have become of his life if he didn't think Paul was his only option for a happy ending? What if he wonders what another man's touch would feel like? What if he wonders that after dealing with all the wolf's shit and setting him on the track, they might have been better parting ways? What if one day he wakes up and all he feels is trapped? What if one day he gets the sick thought in his head that running away from his family would be better for everybody? What if one day he hates himself more than anybody could ever hate him?

_What if he grows up to be just like me?_What if everything he thought his life would be, isn't? What if his own daughter loathes him, his son is too kind to outright say he can't stand him, and his husband loves him, but hates what he is more than anyone else? What if he turns bitter? What if in the process of trying to make everything perfect for everyone he forgot what perfect was and began to do irreparable damage to those he loved the most? I tried to do things right, I only wanted the best everybody and I mean that with every fibre of my body.

I didn't keep Riley in the palace under constant watch because I wanted to torture him, I did it because I care. I wanted to make sure he was safe and being responsible. I wanted to make sure he wasn't hurting anybody and that he'd never have to know the feeling of deep residual guilt. My brother has a very kind soul, a childish soul – he is a sweet boy that will never be a man. I always want him to be that same sweet chatty boy that awoke after I bit him and I'd use all my powers as king to keep him that way. Though, perhaps I realize now that there were probably better ways of going about protecting my brother from himself.

As for my precious son... if I could give him all the happiness in the world I would, but I'm terrified he could be making the wrong choice when it comes to Paul. I don't want my puppy to make any decisions he could possibly regret. I don't want him to make any decisions that could potentially break his heart. Why can't he just _live _first before committing himself to Paul? He's seventeen, he doesn't need to be rushing into a grown up life; he has all the time in the world – if I had someone to tell me this when I was his age...

I've never truly lived for myself. I grew up to be a failed experiment and went on to be sold into slavery. I was owned, I had a master that just so happened to be a prince I fell for in less than two weeks. He was hardly perfect, yet I hardly cared. I lived for him and that tiny little pup that called me dad. I ran away, I killed in cold blood for them and I'd do it all again to keep them safe. I knew Jacob would be an amazing king, though I could have never predicted that he'd propose the day I returned. The idea scared the daylights out of me, yet over time the feeling began to fade and I said yes, but sitting here now I'm well aware I turned all my fears into a reality.

I'm not a husband Jacob can be proud of and I'm certainly not a good partner to him. I'm not a great or even a good father or brother. I'm a horrendous friend. I believe the only thing I excel at is being king and that's only because every little bit of the kingdom is in my control. I've learnt the hard way that you cannot lead a family like one leads a kingdom. I may have gained my people's loyalty, but I obliterated my family's. I kept a blind eye to the hate I was receiving from them while I thought they'd all thank me one day. I think it's safe to say Riley isn't going to thank me for holding him prisoner, Rachel isn't going to thank me for keeping her lonely, and Ryan isn't going to thank me for trying to undermine his relationship.

A knock at the door the broke me from my tumultuous reverie and the minds of others began to overshadow the thoughts of my own. Using the thoughts of my son I watched as Jake and Paul strode into the office, and as I prayed that I'd evaporate into thin air I curled my arms around my head, fruitlessly hoping not to be seen.

Ryan watched as Jacob shot a glance my way then gave him a questioning look. "I don't know." My son whispered.

My husband sighed in frustration. "Pup, go have breakfast with Eric, Riley, and Katie; they're in the dining room."

Through Paul's eyes I observed as Ryan perked his brows and grinned delightedly, this caused his inner wolf to purr with content seeing his imprint happy and his scattered mind to become organized as he thought more and more of his 'angel'. "Is Eric actually eating in the dining room?" Ryan queried.

"Yeah," Jake said. "Get a move on, please."

Ryan nodded and he flicked his gaze to Paul, which caused the wolf's fingers to tingle with anticipation – he desperately wanted to hold, touch, and kiss his imprint, but refrained from taking even the slightest step forward because I was in the room. "Can Paul come too?" The pup asked.

My husband shook his head. "No, we need to talk to your dad. He'll come see you when we're done." My son nodded in understanding, though pouted nonetheless in Paul's direction. The wolf's heart fluttered at the sight of Ryan's protruding bottom lip; he wanted nothing more than to run his tongue along the delicate pink flesh to taste it, and as the puppy strode past him to exit through the door his hand on its own volition grabbed a hold of his imprint's wrist to stop him.

Ryan turned around and gave Paul a heartfelt smile, which the wolf's thoughts described as overwhelmingly beautiful. "You need to kiss me, don't you?" His imprint murmured to him.

Paul lovingly smiled back at the smaller wolf. "How did you know?" He whispered in reply.

The boy gave him a cutesy shrug. "I didn't, I was just hoping you did."

With Ryan's wrist in Paul's hand the wolf pulled him close and my son was quick to snuggle his face into the bigger wolf's chest. "I love you so much, sweetheart." Paul sighed as his head dipped to nuzzle his cheek into his imprint's hair while his arms tightly encircled the boy he refused to think of as his mate.

"I love you more." My son happily murmured.

"Impossible." Paul said under his breath. Again my pup smiled, this time as he rose to the tips of his toes in search of a kiss. The wolf's copper hands came up to gently stroke Ryan's smooth tan cheeks as he admired the view of the alpha he loved dearly, and as his mind depicted, with the strength of a thousand suns.

It was my puppy who closed the distance between them, though it was Paul who kissed him ardently. Ryan's hands squeezed his wolf's sides as he imagined his future with him. He pictured himself in Paul's house, in Paul's bed, but even a smile broke through my stone cold barrier as my son's thoughts turned innocent. Pancakes on Saturday mornings, barbeques on the weekends, and shoving the couches aside to cuddle as wolves on the living room floor in front of the fireplace. Yet, as sweet as Ryan's thoughts were, Paul's were bordering on possessive and I even got a peek at one that he fought to hide from me. A part of him wanted me to see his lips on my son, hear his imprints pleased thoughts about him, and smell the growth of his arousal as his body reacted to his angel's touch – it was a rude reminder from him that every day Ryan becomes a little less mine and a little more his, which effectively took away the smile my puppy put on my face.

My husband's mind paid no attention to the pair and he nonchalantly picked through the bowl of candy between the two sofas in the search of something he couldn't resist. When my son was finally gone and the room was silent, save for Jacob's quiet chewing of bubblegum I lifted my head and saw both him and Paul staring at me from the sofa closest to the door. "If you're looking for pity you're not going to get it." Jake snapped at me. My brows furrowed and I shook my head while opening my mouth to speak, yet he cut me off before I could start. "Don't even bother, Ed. You're a nosey prick; I know you listened to our conversation upstairs, and I'm positive you were in Paul's head the whole time too." I scowled at his accusation, and once again when I tried to speak my wolf cut me off. "Don't even try to deny it." My nostrils flared with anger, but with lack of interest for an argument I wouldn't deny it, even though I hadn't paid attention to a single thought that crossed their minds this past while – I was a little preoccupied with my unintentional self-inflicted miseries.

With a huff of breath I stood and rounded my desk. I walked over to the free side of Jacob so I could sit beside him, though he shook his head at me and told me to sit by myself across from them. I did as I was told, yet not before shooting a petty, but hateful glare Paul's way – he had another thing coming if he thought he could take both my wolves away from me.

"Okay..." Jake said as I sat, though before he continued he took the gum from his mouth with his thumb and forefinger, leaned forward and stuck it under the African blackwood table. My eyes widened and I bent to look under the thing. My vision was immediately assaulted by the sight of hunks of chewed pieces of gum all over it – did he not care how valuable this table _was_?

Ignoring my reaction, my husband looked to Paul. "Do you want to start or should I?"

"Probably best if you do." The wolf told him and Jacob nodded in response as he flicked his eyes back to mine.

"Eddie... babe... you know what's coming..." My eyes squinted in concentration as I searched Jacob's mind for clues as to what he could be talking about, but he was extremely guarded. Paul was just as careful with his thoughts and I found myself frustrated.

"Want to refresh my memory?" I queried.

My husband frowned at me. "Don't be a smart ass, Ed."

I frowned right back at him. "It wasn't my intention, _Jake_."

Paul scooted forward in his seat. "You know what, I think I'll start." He put in as his weary brown eyes caught Jacob's. "Actually, could you leave? I can do this by myself." With much refusal on my husband's part and not a word spoken on mine, Paul managed to pry him off the couch and shove him out the door, yet on his way back over he chose to sit beside me.

The wolf gave me a charming smile and he slid close so our outer thighs were just about touching. "I remember years ago, ten or more, we were sitting on swings at a park and I confessed that I considered you to be my best friend." I broke eye contact and looked in the opposite direction of the wolf. "That was the day you promised to help me with my list. I feel like it's my turn to make you a promise; fuck, maybe you even have a list, yet, if you did, I don't doubt that I'd be on it."

"I don't have a list." I mumbled in shame, mainly because I felt like one hell of a royal asshole. That part of my past was perfect – right here, right now, whoever I used to be would loathe what I've become. Spiteful, vindictive, _mean_...

"And if you did?"

I shook my head and forced myself to look back the wolf. "I never would, but when you gave me your list I noticed you forgot two names."

Paul pinched his dark brows together as he contemplated my words. "No I didn't."

"You did." I insisted with a minute nod. "Jacob and your father. I could only take care of one of them for you."

Paul's eyes widened in understanding. "My dad didn't die in some accident, did he?"

I shook my head. "Nah, I slit his throat." I think it surprised the both of us how cold I came off when I said this. "I spent a few days sifting through all his thoughts. I tried to find a reason not to kill him, but I came up short."

The wolf's eyes bore into mine. "Did you talk to him at all?" He questioned.

"A lot."

"About me?"

"Yes."

His eyes turned hopeful. "Was he remorseful?"

"I killed him."

Paul eyes fell away from mine. "I didn't think so." He sighed in disappointment. In the heat of the moment I covered the top of the wolf's hand with mine that he had resting on his leg causing the wolf to startle. He gave me a sideways glance and a slight smile upturned the corner of his rosy lips as he put his other hand over mine. "My mother dearly loved my dad despite his every flaw; I didn't want to soil the memory of a great woman, so I refused to let myself hurt him. The same kind of thing went for Jacob, if I was ever tempted to act on my anger I thought of you and Ryan and the feelings you two have for the wolf. I would never intentionally hurt either of you, and if I ever harmed Jacob, I would be – I couldn't put something like that on my conscience." My body stiffened, my hand squeezed Paul's, and a sudden jolt energy shook me to my core and jumbled up everything I thought I knew. It only took three sentences and eighty-nine words for me to realize something big, something _really_ big... Paul is a far better man than me.

"Fuck..." I breathily whimpered to myself as I pulled my hand away from the wolf's two. I couldn't bear to touch him, or better yet, I couldn't bear to have him touch me – he didn't deserve to feel such slime. Paul was able to set his personal feelings aside to protect those he cared about. I certainly couldn't even begin to say that for myself... everything I've done to him, and in effect Ryan, was because I was running on my own emotions, my own worries and fears, yet I never stopped to think about how my craziness was impacting others. I always figured I was doing the right thing, so nothing else mattered. If I thought something was the right thing to do I didn't care much about what other people thought or felt because I was 'helping' them and one day they would realize that.

In my head I was helping Ryan by sending his wolf away, when in retrospect all I did was needlessly cause the both of them to suffer the loss of each other. It changed nothing, I avoided nothing, and the only thing I proved was how heartless I truly am. My head whipped to the side and I gazed at the wolf to study his appearance. Did I ever _really_ love Paul if I was capable of treating him so horrendously, and if I didn't love him like I thought, what do I feel for my family? What if this love I think I feel isn't really love at all, but rather a sick possessive obsession?

"Ed, would you quit it? Your staring is freaking me out." Paul grouched at me. "Now, tell me what's wrong."

I adverted my eyes while I shook my head. "I'm shit." I breathed.

"What?" He questioned with furrowing brows. "Where did that come from?"

I lazily shrugged. "I'm shit." I repeated.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He asked with annoyance in his tone.

I turned my eyes to his. "What do you want me to do, spell it out for you?!" I exclaimed as I frantically stood to my feet. "I'm S-H-I-T!"

Paul stood along with me. "Wrong four letter word, Edward. K-I-N-G, repeat that to yourself."

I tapped my chest with my index and middle finger. "This K-I-N-G is S-H-I-T!"

The wolf gave me smirk that did not fit my panic stricken moment. "No, this K-I-N-G," He said as he roughly poked my shoulder. "Is not S-H-I-T, he's C-R-A-Z-Y." His smirked faded into a friendly smile. "Would you agree?"

I blinked and inhaled a wasteful breath of oxygen. "I make you seem normal." I admitted.

Paul's brows rose, though he nodded in agreement nonetheless. "That you do, your grace." His smile turned cheeky. "It takes a special kind of person to pull that off."

I nodded. "I'm so fucked up..." I confessed.

The wolf sighed. "Then go to somebody you trust, tell them that, and say that you want help."

I clung to Paul's eyes with mine. "I want help." I humiliatingly murmured.

He gave me a small, yet enthusiastic smile. "Then go to Esme Cullen and tell her your problems so she can prescribe some nice powerful things that will take _all_ your cares away."

My brows slightly furrowed. "Do you take meds?"

Paul shook his head. "Nope, but I think that's the only cure for you. A nice big dose of methamphetamines ought to mellow you out." He jested and was even able to get a little chuckle out of me.

"Something tells me I can't pick that up from the local pharmacy."

Paul gave his shoulders a shrug. "We will get you your drugs, Ed. We'll even call up Eric if we have to." He joked as he tugged me back onto the couch.

I quirked a brow. "He told you about his past?" I queried.

"Yep, awhile ago, when Lauren was still around and Eric started coming over to my place. We hung out a bit just the two of us, he's a pretty good guy once you get to know him and force yourself to like him." I gave the wolf a funny expression in response to his words. I personally found it impossible to like that alpha – the only thing I force myself to do when I see that ridiculous face of his is not to smash it. Paul faintly smiled and gave me a light shove. "You better not be thinking ill of my newly adopted younger, dumber, and uglier brother."

I eyed Paul in confusion. "I thought it was James you were brotherly with."

His face brightened and his smile evolved into a grin. "Him too! He's my younger, brighter, and blonder brother. You fucked up there, Eddie, he's a really good guy. Had you killed me yourself Jamie would have been perfect for Ryan."

I fervently shook my head in disagreement. "I'd prefer you over him any day. He's always rubbed me the wrong way – even when I was my old good boy self I wanted to hit that stupid little human kid every time he referred to my son as a girl."

The wolf laughed and gave me a preciously happy smile. "Oh god, Ed, every time I laid my eyes on Jamie as a kid I had to fight the strongest urge to murder him. During summers I dreamt of drowning him in the pool, and each winter I imagined burying his naked delicate human body in the snow and letting him freeze into a Jamesicle." He paused and let out a quiet sigh. "I hated that needy little cunt."

My eyebrows rose in surprise. "Maybe I'm not so bad after all." I said with a laugh.

Paul continued to smile, though shook his head in disagreement. "You're fucking terrible, and it's best that you remember that." His smiled turned soft. "Are you really going to get help?" I shrugged in reply, I really didn't know. "Come with me on Friday to my appointment with Esme. I could bitch about you for days with her, it would be awesome if you were there to say your side of the story and get a feel for how things work there. I'd tell you to come with me today, but I had to cancel since I have to vampire sit Jamie this afternoon and all through the night." The wolf's eyes brightened. "Nahuel is coming over for the evening, you could come too if you'd like – it'd get you out of the palace, and you never know, you might actually have _fun_."

I frowned at the wolf. A part of me really did want to go there tonight, though the other part of me thought it was a ridiculous idea – I'd make everybody there miserable with my presence and ruin the entire evening. "Mind if I take a rain check on tonight?" I queried.

Paul shook his head. "So long as you promise me you'll come on Friday his grace is free to do as he pleases."

I smiled at Paul, his enthusiasm felt contagious. "I promise." I assured him. "But, what did you and Jake originally come in here to talk to me about?"

The wolf's happy demeanour faded and there was a bob in his throat as he swallowed. "Jacob told me that I could forget about the schedule I have with Ryan, also that I was welcome here whenever, day or _night_." He informed me.

My teeth gritted together as my jaw clenched. "My husband said you could spend the night... in my son's room... in his bed... with my puppy?" I heatedly asked.

"Yes." Paul answered. "But I won't." He quickly added. "Not if it will cause any strain between you and Jake, or Ryan." With a loud of huff of breath I leaned forward and pressed my face into my hands. I _could_ tell him no, I could completely disagree with everything Jake had told him he could have, but he was being flexible and willing to meet my needs. He wasn't rushing head first into the first opportunity to sleep in the same bed as his imprint for the first time since they've been together, instead he was taking into consideration my feelings and once again putting his aside. I'd be that S-H-I-T K-I-N-G I was previously talking about if I didn't meet him somewhere in the middle.

"Fuck it." I breathed while I lifted my hands upwards and ran them through my hair. "I honestly _do _know you have nothing but good intentions when it comes to Ryan, and I can see in your mind how much you truly do love him... I wish I could deny it, and you better believe I have a _ton _of negative feelings about all this – I even have the urge to throw you down in purgatory." I sat up straight and turned my body to face the wolf. "I think, _for my son and Jacob_, I can work something out with you. I won't oppose to you being at the palace whenever you wish, so long as during the week you're gone by midnight and on the weekends by two A.M.. As for sleepovers, no, I am uncomfortable with that. However, say the two of you go over to Nahuel's to one of his 'friendly get togethers' where Ryan may or may not do things I will pretend to act oblivious to, the both of you can stay there for the night together – I'd actually feel better if you were there; I know you'd keep a close eye on your imprint." I paused to gather my thoughts for a moment and let out a sigh. "When Ryan turns eighteen, you can share your nights in the same bed with no interference from me. Am I sounding fair, or like a dick? I'm going for fair if it isn't obvious."

Both of Paul's brows were perked as he gave me an incredulous gaze. "I think you've gone above and beyond fair, Edward. You really don't have to be that lenient." He insisted.

I slowly nodded. "I know, but I want to be... if you promise me something."

The wolf smiled. "Anything."

"Can you promise me that you won't ever break my puppy's heart and that you won't ever let your past get in the way of your future?"

His smile turned into a grin and he happily tugged me into his arms for a tight friendly embrace. "On my mother's grave, I fucking promise you, Edward." He vehemently swore, which he followed up by giving me plenty of wolfish nuzzles. "I swear there is no imprint more loved than mine and no wolf could ever make their imprint happier than I will." I prayed for _his_ sake that he was right, though for a few minutes I pretended like my wrath wasn't bad and I wasn't bat-shit insane, and hugged the wolf that I wished I had the right to still consider my best friend snugly to me.


	51. Chapter 51

**WARNING: **A brief glimpse at a heterosexual encounter. I know, the horror!**  
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* * *

**Chapter Fifty-one  
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_Point of View: James  
_

So, let it be said, James Yorkie, A.K.A. the awesomeness that is myself, is a little amazed – people sure do downplay how fucking sweet death is! Sure, the urge to eat all my friends and the house arrest is kind of lame, but I have not a single complaint otherwise. Well, actually, my temper is a little iffy at times, though I figure if people stopped pissing me off constantly, shit wouldn't get blown up or destroyed.

Paul has gone through half the televisions and kitchen appliances in the kingdom, and don't even get me started on the mess I made when I broke the washing machine mid-cycle. I definitely don't _mean _to break the wolf's things... sometimes, but it just happens; my subconscious does what it will, and apparently it loves destruction and havoc. Okay, not havoc, I'm a good dead boy. Although, I felt really bad after I ate the neighbours cat in front of their kid. I said I was sorry, and I even tried to explain that it was either the cat or the kid, so in a way they should thank me, especially since that kid smelt all sorts of more delicious. They didn't thank me, they yelled at me, and they pissed me right the fuck off. They should _know_ not to anger a newborn, who knows what it's capable of. I think they learnt their lesson the second their car burst into flames – hell, I didn't even know I was capable of starting a fire with just a few malicious thoughts, but I can, and it was pretty fucking awesome... until Paul ran out of the house.

The poor wolf can't even take a dump in peace. He went to the bathroom with me safe and sound watching TV, then returned to find the neighbours cat turned into an afternoon snack and their car toast. We keep the living room curtains closed now, watching a small perfectly cooked steak and wonderful turkey dinner in a child sized package on Paul's front lawn was too much for me to pass up. To be honest, and I said this as well, they were _on_ Paul's property – trespassing, you know; they could have been dangerous, a real threat. Besides, I should be able to eat whatever the fuck I please that's on the wolf's property, it's only fair.

The parents sure didn't see it that way and neither did Paul, yet believe me when I say I didn't mean to pull everything off its hinges in his entire house when he was berating me. I completely destroyed his kitchen since when my mind tore the cupboard doors away it took big hunks of wood with it. I ruined the stove, dishwasher, and fridge... basically, if it had hinges, part, or all of it needed to be replaced. That made me feel even worse than the cat, especially the second time it happened. Good thing the wolf is rich, and has a lot of spare time.

My powers really do get away from me from time to time. I could never have predicted I'd be a gifted vampire, and definitely not to such extremes. Every day, Paul sits me down and forces me to practice controlling them. I do say I've gotten pretty damn good at some little things. I can turn anything electrical on and off just by wanting to. I can flick through channels on the TV. I can open doors, turn on taps, and light the fireplace – at this point the list of small things I can do is endless. I'm dying to get outside to see what I can really do, though nobody thinks this newborn is ready to be let off his leash just yet. Apparently I'm too much of a liability or so Charlie says.

I think these past few months have been hard on my vampire. He's told me more times than I can count how much he misses his human – Charlie really has been mourning for him. He wishes my skin was still soft and delicate and my eyes were still blue. I know he hates my powers, he said so himself. I try my hardest to control them when I'm around him, but sometimes he's just such a downer and will rag on me for the smallest things. He'll ask me if I've fed from Paul, Emily, or Ryan lately... he knows the answer, he'll know I'll say yes, but each time he insists on getting all persnickety and lectures me about how I should only drink donated blood – that's like masturbating when you could just as easily have sex. Fuck that! I want blood straight from the source and I'll take it every chance I can get it.

Speaking of sex... it's not all it's cracked up to be. I've been around the kings far too much and I think I deluded myself into thinking it was some godly experience. Don't get me wrong, losing my virginity was good and all, but there was no 'I can't believe I've lived without this for so long' moment. It was exceedingly better than my right hand and I was pretty fucking proud of myself that I was able to get Charlie off without any sort of guidance. _However_, I do wish I never asked how it was for him since he gave me an extraordinarily lame answer. "It would have been better if you were still my human." He admitted.

That blew and boggled my fucking mind at the exact same time. How could a human banging him be better than a newborn? I'd have been pathetically weak and he would have had to have been tediously careful not to hurt me. That annoyed me, it _really, really_ annoyed me and so much so that overhead light above the bed blew and the glass shattered on top of us which lead to a lot of bickering on his accord. I argued too of course and I'd never seen Charlie get so fired up – my cute blushing vampire disappeared that day and he hasn't been back since.

I'd be worried if I wasn't comforted by the fact that my vampire told me he believed we were mates when I was still at the hospital. I never thought I'd ever hear those words come out of somebody's mouth and directed at myself. I always dreamt of Ryan saying that to me, but hearing Charlie speak of how much love he had for me was just as good, if not better, and to be able to return his feelings was everything I imagined a perfect relationship would feel like. For once in my life I wasn't scared that someone I loved could forget about me, that they could just walk away from me without a care in the world – he made me feel needed and safe. I fully trusted him with my heart and it felt so good being able to give it to him.

"I'm going to kill that fucking leech of yours." Paul growled, stealing me from my musings as he looked out the curtains of the front window and to the street. "Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are the only afternoons he _has_ to be fucking be here. I can't be missing my appointments all the time."

I rolled my consistently black eyes from where I was sitting in the recliner. "Then go, he probably got held up at work."

The wolf threw the curtain closed and turned around to face me. "I called his work half an hour ago, he wasn't even scheduled for today. He does this almost every fucking time!" He hissed in complaint. "Even if he gets here now, by the time I get to my appointment I'll only have a half an hour left with Esme and Ed. Also, you know I'm not leaving you. Look what happened when Charlie did, which I _told_ him _not _to do."

"He wanted to go home and clean himself up a bit before work. It's not a big deal."

"Not a big deal?!" He exclaimed. "You tried to eat the UPS guy! If I hadn't gotten home when I did you'd be sitting behind bars right now. Plus, remember, I called Charlie's work that time too, and what do you know, he wasn't scheduled that time either! He's your fucking sire, he shouldn't be slacking."

I shook my head and let out a huff of cool breath. "You're spending _way _too much time with his grace; you're getting to be nosey as fuck. Oh, and cut Charlie some slack, my death really shook him, just give him some time. He's really missing the human me." I tried to explain on my vampires behalf. "Anyway; the UPS guy was totally cool, he understood how scrumptious he smelt. Besides, he was more bent than a crowbar; you were like his knight in pretty copper skin when you tore my teeth out of his neck. You're going to be the subject of his fantasies for years to come – it's a shame you're spoken for and had to turn down that coffee date he offered, he was exactly your type."

Paul rolled his brown eyes and he flopped down on the loveseat to my left. "He was kind of cute... I guess." He hesitantly put in.

I met his gaze and quirked a brow. "Kind of?"

The wolf smirked. "Okay, he was pretty fucking hot." He said with a chuckle. "Too bad he didn't try a little harder, I'd have blown him." He happily jested.

I let out a bark of laughter. "You and cock, every time that imprint of yours comes by, I hear you hidden away somewhere in the house slurping between his legs."

"Ah, yes, the prince's dick, the finest quality of cock indeed." He whimsically stated. "I love that thing."

I chortled in amusement. "What about his ass?" I perversely queried.

He gave me a funny smile. "What about my imprint's perfect ass?"

"Do you love it?"

Paul nodded. "More than his dick." He devilishly grinned. "Tastes better too."

"God, what a lucky boy that alpha is." I said with a laugh. "Has he blown you yet?"

The wolf shook his head. "No, I love to spoil him, plus I really get off on it. I'm not really into him reciprocating." He paused for a moment and looked as if he were caught in thought. "I mean, I like when he jerks me off, but the thought of my dick in my imprint's mouth makes me feel like I'd be demeaning him. I know I wouldn't be, but the thought is there and it's a complete turn off, so I prefer to just stick with what floats my boat."

"Fair enough." I sighed, though I gave him a cheeky smile. "But, you know, you could just close your eyes and have him go to town on your cock."

"I'd still know it's his mouth."

"Whatever." I huffed with a shrug of my shoulders. "Suit your-frigid-self. Are you gonna fuck him soon at least?"

Paul furrowed his dark brows and gave me a shake of his head. "I'm never going to _fuck_ my angel."

"Oh, excuse me!" I teased, and chuckled to myself. "Are you going to _make love_ to your 'angelic' little imprint any time soon?"

"Nope," He said, popping the 'P'. "I promised Ed at one of our Friday sessions that I wouldn't until sometime after Ryan's eighteenth birthday. I'm not ready anyway."

It was once again my turn to roll my eyes. "I don't know why you give that leech even a second of your time. I used to at least respect him as king and Ryan's father, but ever since you told me he was the one that made you take off for all those years... Nuh-uh..." I hummed with a shake of my head. "Fuck him, man. You're too good to be around that piece of shit – he's foe, not a friend."

Paul's eyes brightened like I'd said something funny and he smiled like he was entertained. "He's neither friend nor foe; he's my future fucking father-in-law. The longer he thinks I'm willing to bend over and kiss his ass the better."

"As far as I'm concerned you _are_ willing to bend over and kiss his ass."

"Okay, so there's some truth to that, but the day Ryan turns eighteen Edward can go fuck himself. I care about the guy, and a part of me loves him regardless of how big of a gaping hemorrhoid infested asshole he's become." Oh, the imagery. Beautiful. "For the past two months he's done a real good job of actually staying out of mine and Ryan's business, but I think once my imprint has his birthday the leech might go into panic mode and fear losing his pup to me. If this happens, I'm _not_ taking one bit of guff from him – the way I see it, when my angel turns eighteen he _is_ mine, and I don't have the slightest issue with fighting for him."

I nodded in understanding; I could see where the mongrel was coming from. "You do realize you'll still be you and his grace will still be the king and can completely ruin your life, right?" I playfully queried.

"Yeah, sure, but Ryan and I can just elope and when we return I'll murder his parents, then ta-da, I'm emperor! Would you like your own palace, I will gladly have one built for my dear baby brother?" He just as playfully offered.

"Fuck yes!" I joyfully exclaimed and I leaned to the side to pull the lever on the side of the recliner to lift my feet. "I'll take two!" With my words spoken there was a knock at the door.

With a lazy groan Paul got to his feet and rounded the couch to the front door. "At least these Jamie sitters can get their asses here in a hurry when I need them."

"Oh!" I said in excitement. "Tell me it's Nahuel and Senna, or Randall, or Eleazar, or Laurent; better yet, tell me it's all of them!" Fuck me, did I ever love that bunch Ryan brought around.

Paul looked over his shoulder and grinned at me as he reached for the doorknob. "Even better." He pulled the door open and I felt my frozen insides painfully begin to thaw when my eyes took in the images of Eric, Riley, and Emily.

"Fuck you." I snapped at him while I crossed my arms and looked away. Those three were more than welcome in my presence one at a time, but they freak me out when they're all together. The ugly mutt laughed and ushered the three inside before taking off to his Friday appointment with his crazy fucking grace. As far as I know they just bitch about each other like an old married couple, then his grace usually brings him back slightly inebriated after they've spent a few hours bitching _at _each other outside of the therapist's office and inside another, called a bar. You should see how fast those things clear out when Edward walks into one – I personally haven't yet, but Paul has told me all about it and it sounds fucking hilarious.

It metaphorically annoys the shit out of me that he spends so much time with that leech as of late. I honestly don't know how Paul can even stand to look at that pasty white face. Whenever the king comes around here I always have the urge to see if I can blow him up with my mind, however I shan't join the dark side just yet. I must use my powers for good, not evil. Then again, could obliterating King Edward bat-shit-insane Black really be considered evil? I think it's more along the lines of a civil favour and I should be awarded a medal for it. Okay, so, his grace hasn't done anything to me personally, but if Paul won't hate the parasite for what he's put him through I'll take one for the team and hate him with all my might while cursing his name straight to the fiery pits of hell. Oh, but if Ryan asks, I love the guy – best dude ever. Swell guy, good times, awesome king!

I flicked through the channels on the television set, yet I couldn't _not_ notice three creeps pawing at each other on the couch to my right. They had no shame, none whatsoever, and I found it pretty damn amusing. Who knew Emily would grow up to fuck my brother _and _the undead prince – I'd call it just a hunch, but the girl told me herself while I was being babysat by her. She thought I'd be pissed; hardly, I felt sorry for the poor she-wolf, especially since Eric's a fucking idiot.

She made her confession only last week, the night prior being the night she lost her virginity to him... them. Him? Eric was inside her first, so him I guess. Oh god, the details that girl was willing to give – I never in a million years thought I'd find myself so interested in my brother's sex life, but he's such a deviant freak and I wanted to hear all about it. I think I have an ovary or something since I do believe I could gossip about sex all day long. Anyway, so my brother and his sexual appetite... wow. Apparently that alpha is quite the lover, and not only that, but rather skilled at multitasking too. According to Emily he really got off on having his dick in her, yet his mouth on Riley's along with one hand on a breast and another jerking the leech's aroused junk while said leech played with my best friend's clit. My brother has never stricken me as the gay sort, though he has always stricken me as the little bit gay for Riley sort. Eric admitted to me awhile back that he'd kissed Riley numerous times, but he never felt anything sexual for him. As it turns out, the missing ingredient to their gruesome twosome was a vagina they both needed to agree upon.

Remember how I just said my brother is a fucking idiot? Yeah, well, he is. It didn't seem to cross his dumb ass mind to put on a rubber, and instead he was perfectly content jizzing inside the seventeen-year-old she-wolf. I could blame her just as much, but I don't, mainly because it's just so much easier blaming him. So, me being the amazing friend that I am forced the girl to take me out into the real world where there was people I wanted to snack on left, right, and center. I didn't sink my teeth into a soul; I was a newborn on a mission. I went straight to the pharmacy and bought the morning after pill and forced that shit down her throat – the last person in this kingdom that should breed is Eric. I don't deny he did great job raising me until he _stopped_ doing a great job, but a puppy just isn't on the menu for him right now. He's got himself and Katie to worry about.

I then dragged the bitch – I'm using the literal definition here – down to the sexual health clinic while insisting that she get a lifetime supply of birth control. The place was kind of nifty, I liked the diagrams, I also liked the big bowl of free condoms on the front desk and pocketed as many as I could. Later in the week Eric came to watch me and boy did we have a wonderful brotherly bonding moment... while I gave him the talk about how puppies are made and threw about two dozen condoms at him.

On a more serious note, Eric is looking really damn good and it makes me gloriously happy to see him smiling more. He's packed on about half the weight he needs to, his skin appears healthy, and he only gets sick to his stomach if he's overworked his body or his mood is stuck in a rut. He also has two hands now, which we can thank Ryan for. At first he was unsure about the surgery, but once his alpha mentioned being able to run on four legs again he was all for it. I worried he was still too weak when he went in for the procedure and it bothered me immensely that I couldn't be there. Paul assured me everything was would be fine, and of course he was right, besides the fact that my brother's heart quit mid-surgery... Okay, that didn't happen, but how about that for a twist, huh?

Eric is actually around a fair bit, both with and without Katie and his two newly added counterparts. From what he's told me he has his own room in the palace down the hall from Ryan, and Katie is right across from him. Although, I've heard from an overly annoyed wolf – Paul – that Eric sleeps with the girl at night. Paul says every early morning he's showed up there he's caught Katie in bed with an oversized alpha wolf curled around her, his fur and warmth always keeping her sound asleep while his big bushy tail makes sure to keep her comfy and covered up to her chin. According to the grouch it'll be nearly impossible to break Katie of that habit, though if you ask me I didn't think Eric had any plans on doing such.

I spoke to him about Katie a bit not all that long ago. He told me the longer Lauren is gone the stronger he felt for the little girl, almost as if his feelings were being carried over to her. I asked him if he thought he'd be like Paul and Ryan one day; he laughed at me and denied the notion. I said Paul used to deny the possibility of Ryan too. My brother explained that when he looked at her he only saw his daughter and nothing else – this actually put me at ease since Katie was well aware that Eric was her god father and she had recently begun referring to him as god daddy, and even just daddy, instead of Eric.

The more he came around with her the more I could see their relationship blossoming, and Paul was quite pleased that the alpha followed most of his advice. I admit, one of my favourite times with Katie and my brothers is her tea time and I'm glad Eric makes an effort to bring her over for it a couple times a week. When we all sit down around a pink little plastic table Paul keeps for her at his place it's like stepping into a fun new reality. Paul is a reformed Russian mob boss that gets his men to do good deeds, and Eric is a hilarious French farmer that makes begets, cheese, and wine to give to the hungry. As for me, well, the best I could do is a horribly stereotypical Mexican accent – I'm also homeless, but strictly by choice since I decided to travel the world which is how I met Yakov and Philippe.

I fucking adore being an uncle, I truly do, and I actually hope between Eric and Paul I get lots of nieces and nephews. Paul, I think, despite his drawbacks could handle a puppy right now and be an amazing father, but Eric, no, he's not ready. Like I said, he has Katie and himself to worry about. He needs to continue healing, learn to read, get a fucking job, and move the hell out of the palace with his Caucasian little human daughter that I bet he gets tons of weird looks for when he goes out with her.

The reading is slow going, but a few times a week he'll go over to Nahuel's with Katie, and Senna will work with him. The first few times he went he'd get really frustrated and freak at the poor woman who is donating her free time as a favour to her husband, since Nahuel generously offered her skills when Paul mentioned Eric couldn't read. Paul was ridiculously grateful, but Eric's attitude toward Senna ended up with him getting in numerous scuffles with Nahuel. So, that's when I suggested to Ryan that he stop babysitting and make Eric take Katie with him. I knew my brother, he wouldn't get angry in front of the girl – I actually don't think he's even capable of it.

I was happy to hear that Katie made a friend over a Nahuel's. Senna's brother Laurent has a daughter and he'll bring her over every so often when Eric is planning on being there. The girl is a few years older than Katie, but they get on fine enough to play with toys and watch movies together. I love Laurent by the way – I don't think he's working with a full deck of cards, he's crazily impulsive. He briefly mentioned that if it wasn't for 'baby girl' he'd have done something stupid by now to get him locked up for a long time. He only has his daughter, Makenna, part time seeing as he isn't with her mother, and never was. According to the vampire Makenna's mother was nothing but a one night stand when he was human. She was able to track him down a short while after the girl was born. He denied the baby being his, so the woman took him to court for child support where a DNA test was mandated. Makenna was indeed his, though he had nothing to do with her for at least another six months except for mailing a check to her mother every month, but he said after awhile the guilt and his friends and family ragging on him for being a deadbeat dad finally forced him to do the right thing.

I'm kind of amazed by that, how men can ignore their own kids that is. I mean, I shouldn't be, my own dad ditched me, and I guess it doesn't just go for men. I couldn't do that though, hell, I couldn't ditch another person's kid, let alone my own, but thank god I never have to worry about something like that – I basically got a free vasectomy when I died, which I'm completely fine with. No matter how hard I might try, impregnating Charlie just isn't going to happen. I kind of prefer that anyway, I like the idea of being an awesome uncle that can send the brats back when they start crying or shit themselves.

Can you imagine if Eric knocked up Emily, though? I wonder how long it would take for Sam to hunt him down and kill him. Actually, I wonder just how dead Eric would be if Sam found out the alpha was porking his daughter. Pretty damn dead I'd say, pretty fucking dead...

I was a little concerned for Emily given the circumstances. I was definitely afraid the guys were just using her to get their rocks off and it's no secret that she's had feelings for Riley since she was just a little girl. The day I went to the clinic with her I mentioned that I thought that was huge possibility. She dropped a huge bomb on me after that, she confessed that my brother and her have had a bit of a thing ever since he started coming around. Emily said it was nothing serious at the time and that they were mainly just flirting and sneaking kisses when nobody was in the room with them. Yet, that all came to a halt when Lauren died, although things started to pick back up again when she started to care for Eric with Riley from time to time.

The vampire prince showed a huge interest in her when the three were alone together, although I'd say it was because he finally caught the scent of pussy without his brother breathing down his neck. It was a few days before I was stabbed that things began to evolve between the three of them – it was later in the evening and Emily and Riley were watching a movie in Ryan's bed with the alpha. She mentioned that throughout the movie the vampire had been subtly flirting with her, though toward the end he threw caution to the wind and made his exact intentions known by sneaking a hand beneath the blankets and between her legs. He stayed above her jeans, but Eric quickly caught the scent of her arousal and he peeked under the blankets and saw what Riley had gotten up to.

"You like that?" My brother had queried.

Emily nodded, full rosy lips beginning to part. "Yes." She lustfully breathed, which earned her a kiss from the wolf, and then another that lasted the time it took for Riley to pull the blankets away from her and delicately remove her jeans and panties. Eric lifted her shirt off next, and with ease the vampire prince unclasped her bra.

With a firm, but gentle hold on her hips Riley tugged her down the bed so she was lying flat or her back and while he positioned himself between her legs the wolf paid special attention to her breasts. The vampire's cool lips and tongue met the most intimate part of her causing her heart to recklessly thump in her chest and her muscles to stiffen.

Eric reassuringly smiled up at her from where his face met her breasts. "Relax, there's not a soul on this earth that can make a woman cum harder than Riley can with just his mouth." HA! Isn't it gross that I know my brother said this? I told you the she-wolf gave me _all_ the details. Anyway, she got off and so did Riley with her help, although Eric at the time was still too weak and sore to even get it up, but she says he still enjoyed himself which I'm sure he did.

The more I learnt about those three the more I came to the conclusion that it's been Emily's vagina that has been the most helpful in my brother's recovery. For a few weeks there all he could do was watch Riley and Emily get off on each other – I bet he was rather determined to join in on the fun since only two months after said fun started he's full on fucking her. The she-wolf says that Riley's mouth is magnificent, but nothing can beat what the alpha can do with his dick... which surprises me. I'm genuinely astonished he knew what hole to put it in; then again, he's a wolf it's probably instinct. That was actually the idiot's excuse for cumming in her. 'He couldn't help it.' 'He needed to.' 'It was instinct.' What a tool. You know what's instinct for me? Slaughtering by the dozen and bathing in blood, but do you see me doing that? Nope, you most certainly fucking don't!

Emily is convinced the guys won't hurt her. I'm not. My brother says he really likes her, but I've never spoken to Riley about it. I asked Eric what he's going to do when Edward inevitably finds out he's screwing her along with fondling his baby brother at the same time. He got all uppity that I knew what he'd done to Riley; I don't see why, it's not like I don't like fondling cocks too. He said he was experimenting. I said, "Fuck that, man; you were getting off on that shit!"

Eric's brows furrowed and he shook his head. "No way, his lips feel nice and he likes it when I touch him, plus Em thinks it's hot." He countered.

"Dude, his lips feel nice because you fucking _like_ it, ya homo!" I retorted with laughter.

The alpha lowly growled. "I _like_ Emily, Riley likes both Emily _and_ me – it works. I'm comfortable enough with the vampire that when we... _play_, I can touch and kiss him for everyone's pleasure. I'm not sexually attracted to him, but I don't find him a turn off; if anything it's a turn _on_ knowing I'm making the experience better for the both of them. It's not called being queer, it's called being open minded. If I liked dudes I'd come out and say it, I don't know anybody who'd give a shit, so I've got nothing to fear." He shook his head at me with anger in his shiny brown eyes. "Does that make sense? Can you shut the fuck up about it now?" I wasn't sure if that made sense at all, but whatever, to each their own. Although, I did warn him, brother or not, hurt Emily and I'd have to brutally castrate him – I'd make a bloody mess of it too.

From where I sat on the recliner I turned my head to glare at the three. Emily was sitting between the guys on the couch, her lips to Eric's, as Riley nipped and sucked the copper skin of her neck. Her left hand held firmly to the prince's while her right hand was squeezed around my brother's new one. It was such an on odd sight to see, but the pervy part of me couldn't keep my eyes off of them and I vaguely wondered what the expression on Charlie's face would be if I said I wanted to be part of a ménage à trois.

I heard the doorknob rattling on the front door as it was being turned and moved my head in that direction to see the door swing open and my vampire enter. A happy smile took over my face and I pushed the leg rest down and hopped off the recliner to follow him into the kitchen. He went straight to the refrigerator and pulled it open. "Have you had anything to drink this afternoon?" He queried.

My smile brightened, mainly because it felt like he was concerned about me. "Hello to you too." I hummed while I scooped him up in my arms to give him a tight hug. "You're late."

"Yeah." He sighed as he pushed himself away from me to go back to the open fridge. "Sorry about that. Have you had anything to drink or not?" I shook my head no and he gave me an annoyed scowl. "Paul really needs to stay on top of that." He said while grabbing the carton of blood from the fridge and taking a glass from the cupboard across the kitchen from it. "I don't want to have to deal with you doing something stupid, and when you're hungry, you're stupid."

"I think that can be said for all men." I playfully jested. Charlie rolled his golden eyes and shoved the glass of cold blood into my hands.

I frowned at my cold drink while my vampire rinsed the empty carton and tossed it in the recycling below the sink. "What's that look for?" He questioned when he turned to face me.

"It's cold." I complained.

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" He angrily hissed and snatched the blood from my hand. "Then don't fucking drink it!" He yelled at me and slammed the glass into the sink, shattering the cup and splattering the blood all over the counter and floor.

My eyes widened at his outburst. "Jesus, Charlie..." I breathed. "What's wrong?" My vampire's shoulders slumped and I took a step forward and once again wrapped my arms around him.

"It's nothing... just a crappy day at work." He huffed.

"Liar." I said with a chuckle and pressed a kiss to his temple and cheek, which in his bad mood he tried to shy away from. "You didn't have work today. So, what really happened?" I questioned. His body stiffened, but I continued my assault with my lips down his smooth pearly-white neck, yet when I reached the collar of his shirt I smelt something a little odd.

Charlie tried to push me away, though I held onto his sides and touched my nose to the black cotton. My blond brows pinched together and I scowled at the scent – it was masculine, but not a wolf or a vampire, it was undoubtedly human. I finally let him go and I lifted my head to meet his eyes. "Why didn't you just tell me?" I inquired.

My vampire anxiously swallowed. "Tell you what?" He fretfully asked.

I gave him a reassuring smile. "That you were busy with a friend?"

His tension faded away while relief flooded his features. "Wouldn't want you getting jealous." He teased as he smiled back at me.

My smiled grew into a grin. "Why would I get jealous? I know you're all mine."

Charlie's eyes fell away from mine and looked to the mess on the floor. "Well, I should probably clean this up." He sighed. "How about you wait for me in the living room? I only be a moment." I nodded and did as suggested, and when I made my way through the french doors I saw Eric, Riley, and Emily getting ready to go.

"Ditching me already?" I playfully queried.

Emily came over to give me a hug goodbye. "Charlie's here to hover over you, so you don't need us getting in the way." The she-wolf made it sound like I was going to get laid, when in fact I firmly believed she wanted to leave just so she could.

Eric opened the door and Riley waved as he departed through it. "I'll be over with Katie tomorrow afternoon – make sure you drink lots before we get here."

"Yeah yeah." I breathed.

My brother gave me a goofy grin and took Emily's hand as she came to stand near him. "Love you, faggot." I've never known a man more charming...

"Love you too, fuckface." Joke's on Eric, really. I'm only part queer, he's _all_ fuckface. Once they left I sat on the couch just as Charlie entered the living room and he took a seat beside me. I couldn't help myself when he was close and twisted my body to lean in to kiss him. I had what Emily hinted at repeating in my mind – sex would be awfully nice right about now.

My lips barely brushed my vampire's before he put a palm to my chest to stop me. "Hey, James?"

With an irritated sigh I pulled away from him, the lights in the room flickering. My bad. "What?"

"You'd be alright alone here, wouldn't you?"

I furrowed my brows. "I guess. Why?"

"It's my friend, that's what has me in a bad mood." He admitted. "Marcus really needed me today, but I was _stuck_ coming here to be with you." Stuck? That didn't sound very nice.

"Oh..." I hummed. "Is everything okay? I've never heard you mention him before."

Charlie laced his fingers with mine and lifted my hand to his lap. "He actually only started working at the diner about a month ago, that's how I met him." He informed me. "Marc's okay, but he's dealing with some stuff and could use a friend. He's new in town so he doesn't know anybody besides the folks from work."

I frowned a little, I didn't want my vampire to go so soon; I hadn't seen him since Monday. "If you think you should be with him, then go. Though, if you wanted he could come here – if he is looking for friends I'm happy to get to know him."

My vampire gleefully grinned which caused my still heart to flutter. "You're the best!" He exclaimed and gave my forehead a kiss. He stood from the couch and got his cell out of his pants pocket and began texting away.

I stood as well and nosily tried to peek at what he was saying, but to no avail. "So, are you inviting him over?"

Charlie tucked the phone back in his pocket and he shook his head. "No, I'm going to his place for the night." He told me as he headed for the door.

"The _whole_ night?" I queried while following after him. _Now_, I was feeling jealous.

He nodded. "Yeah, that's cool with you right?" He asked as he opened the door and moved to face me.

"Well... is he straight?"

"Uh..." He looked off to side as he thought about it for a few seconds. His eyes flicked back to mine. "Yes, he even has a girlfriend."

"Oh!" I said in understanding, everything was finally clicking into place. "That's what he's dealing with, isn't it? Missing his girl?"

Charlie's face brightened. "Exactly!" He agreed with a nod.

I smiled at my vampire and raised my hands to run them along his smooth cheeks. "It's cool with me then. You're a good friend, you'll cheer him up."

"Thanks." He said with a smile as turned he away from me and hurried out the doorway.

I dropped my hands to my sides while I sadly frowned as I watched him head down the few steps of the front stoop and across the lawn to the driveway. "Forgetting something?" I called after him.

He did a quick one-eighty but didn't stop his movement and walked backwards. "Like what?"

"A kiss for one." My vampire smiled at me, kissed the inside of his hand and motioned it toward me. That hardly fucking counted. He righted himself and made his way onto the road. "I love you, you know!" I hollered after him.

Charlie gazed over his shoulder with a grin. "I know!" And with those words said he took off in a blur... just like he was never fucking here in the first place. I don't know why it bothered me, I was his boyfriend, not his life, but with my vampire gone so quick I missed him. At least I can rest easy knowing he was undoubtedly missing me too. I felt bad having to reassure myself of this, but I know he wouldn't mind – he understands my insecurities... he 'gets me'. That sounds lame as fuck, but there's a whole lot of truth to it. Besides Paul, he's the one person in my life I _know_ would never hurt me and that's because he loves me... and Jesus fucking Christ does it ever feel good.


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter Fifty-two  
**

_Point of View: Edward  
_

"You're king not god, you dunce prick! You think that since you've got all this power you can send people off to their deaths just because you _don't__like _them!" Paul angrily exclaimed while holding a bottle of beer tightly in his large copper hand. "Ed, you're so full of goddamn shit you've got a constant case of verbal diarrhoea; if only you had the mental capacity to notice the heaps of crap that comes out of your mouth your family might not be in shambles."

I tilted my head back as I let out a bark of laughter, which echoed around the empty pub. "Yeah, says the guy who has labelled sections in his underwear drawer that go by brand, type, material, colour, and thread fucking count!"

The wolf's inky dark brows furrowed. "Oh, you're such a dimwitted little bitch that doesn't know how to absorb any information that clashes with your own agenda." He snapped at me. He took a long pull of his beer and loudly placed the empty bottle on the wooden table between us. "Listen good, _parasite_, I don't have one fucking label in my house. Now repeat that back to me."

I smirked and decided to humour the mongrel. "Got it, you don't have one fucking label in your house." I calmly replied.

"Well, good lord, Jesus does exist!" He stated in exclamation with his hands in the air. "I've just witnessed a holy fucking miracle – the king can now retain information!"

I smiled like I was proud of myself for such a feat. "Yes, but sadly by the time it breaks dawn I'll have forgotten all about it and you'll still just be the crazy old pervert who imprinted on my puppy."

The wolf chortled at my nonsense. "I'm a pervert now, huh? Back in the day I was anything but. Though, I guess I can understand the new identity you've given me... I mean, I do _love_ sucking your seventeen-year-old son's dick and it just about causes me to cream myself when he gets off in my mouth, yet it's when his cute, tight, and warm little hole contracts around my fingers when I make him orgasm that never fails to send me over the edge."

I leaned back in my chair, eyes squinting while shaking my head and crossing my arms. "You're one sick fuck." I muttered as he sent me all the unneeded visuals that matched his words.

Paul chuckled and gave me a charming smile. "For my king, I try." He teased. Shortly thereafter the slender redheaded waitress brought him his burger and fries and asked if he'd like another drink. "Yeah, something that will get me drunk quick so I won't be able to pay attention to this backstabbing bastardly cunt." He said while nodding in my direction, causing the woman's over plucked brows to rise and her hazel eyes to widen. "Honey, don't look so surprised – he may be king, but he sure ain't perfect." Again he nodded toward me. "Did you know his grace here breeds cats down in purgatory? He finds drowning kittens in bathtubs a major stress reliever." He paused and sucked in a breath while he disapprovingly shook his head. "It's fucking sick, but better them than us, I say."

Her eyes shot to mine and I nonchalantly shrugged. "That, or I crush them." I jested in quite the serious tone. She hadn't a clue I was joking and I would have felt back if it wasn't for the fact that I _didn't_.

She flicked her eyes back to Paul. "A shot of absinthe, sir?" She hurriedly inquired.

Paul nodded with a sigh. "Bring me the whole bottle... I'm sitting here with a kitten killing king after all."

As she departed I smiled at the wolf. "How long do you think it'll be until that hits the papers? One day, or two?" I questioned.

The wolf shrugged as he slathered ketchup across his fries. "Eddie, it won't _just_ be the papers. We're going to be famous!" He excitedly informed me as he pointed at a surveillance camera directed at us from across the lounge with his free hand. "I'll officially be known as the guy who called his grace a cunt and got away with it. I hope they add the tidbit where I fuck his highness and get away with that too."

I couldn't fight away the scowl that formed on my face. "You're _not _fucking my boy." I growled.

Paul gave me a cocky smirk. "No, not yet at least." He sighed as he relaxed in his chair with his elbows up and hands behind his head. "But, I sure can imagine it now..."

"Fucking stop it!" I furiously screamed at him while the images of him fornicating with Ryan fluttered to the forefront of my mind from _his _mind, and with the lack of things to do to release my anger I hit away his plate of food.

He dropped his hands to the table and leaned to the side to observe the mess I made on the scuffed and dented hardwood floor. "You're paying for that." He grumbled.

I shook my head. "Go fuck yourself." I hissed.

Paul's brows pinched together and he shook his head as well. "No, _you_ go fuck _yourself_, Edward. If you weren't such a sensitive nut job I wouldn't feel the overwhelming need to torture you with that shit."

My nose crinkled and I let out a huff of breath. "And people call _me _a hypocrite... you're not the only sensitive nut job around here, you know. Also, if you want to fight fair, what should I do, gather up all the men who fucked you and throw you in a room with them?"

The wolf rolled his eyes. "You basically did just that and I killed every damn one of them."

"Yeah, and I tried to do that with you!" I heatedly cried. "Yet, you _won't_ go the hell away!"

"Pfft!" The wolf huffed with a laugh. "You didn't try to kill me – you're too much of a coward. I might actually believe you gave a damn about me if you put me out of my misery, instead you just let me suffer for five fucking years."

I furiously glared that the dog. "You let yourself suffer!" I spat at him.

Paul leaped from his seat, the back of his knees knocking it over and one of his hands balled into a fist at his side while the other pointed at me. "No!" He shouted. "It was _you _who made me suffer!"

"I wanted you to get better!" I exclaimed as I rose to my feet. "I wanted you home!"

"Liar." He deeply snarled as he rounded the table, which I stepped away from so I could face the wolf. "If you wanted me better you would have helped me!"

With wide eyes I shook my head in disbelief. "I spent _years_ trying to help you! Nothing I ever did made any sort of difference!" I fervently insisted. "You always make it sound like I doomed you to your fucking death, and sometimes I feel like that too, yet all I did was have you leave the palace. You had the whole damn kingdom at your disposal, plus an oversized bank account! Even if you didn't have a penny to your name I would have given you any amount of money so you could have made a good life for yourself, but instead _you_ chose to live alone in the forest, _you _chose to travel miles and miles away to torture yourself, and _you_ wanted me to pity you enough so I'd invite you back inside so you could go right on back to your old ways.

"I sent you out of the palace because I couldn't help you, Jake couldn't help you, your pack couldn't help you, and all my little boy wanted was to _fucking_ help you! You _knew _he could feel how badly you were hurting, yet because you were a selfish _miserable_ wolf you liked when your imprint would pay extra attention to you since you felt sad. You liked that he'd rather be with you than his friends, you liked that he couldn't take his eyes of you, you liked being the center of his world, and you fucking _revelled_ in the fact that _all_ he wanted was you. Go ahead and act as innocent as you want, Paul, and go ahead and blame me for every shit feeling you've felt since I made you leave the palace, but if you could have just learnt to help yourself instead of using my son, then I doubt very much that this day would have ever come."

The wolf's jaw clenched. "I would _never _use Ryan!" He growled through gritted teeth.

"No?" I queried with pinched brows. "Then why did you sink your claws so deeply into him like he was your damn lifeline, huh? If he wasn't paying attention to you, you were nothing but a brooding dark shadow lingering around the palace. And, you purposely fucked with his head, Paul! I know you did!" I vehemently proclaimed. "He'd call you his mate and you'd deny it, yet you'd still tuck kisses into his hair, give him ones on the cheek, cuddle him, hug him, play with his hair, and always insist on tucking him in at night and waking him in the morning so you could be the last and first thing he saw. Even though you didn't believe there was a future for you two, you didn't want him moving on from you, because if he moved on he wouldn't be all yours, and that is exactly why you were so comfortable suggesting he be with a girl one day – you knew it'd never fucking happen!"

"Wow..." He breathed. "Did you just pull that out of your ass or do you actually think this lowly of me?"

I sighed and my shoulders slumped. "Paul, come on, I'm sure you weren't even aware of what you were doing then, but you have to realize it by now."

His angry eyes narrowed in on mine. "I would never screw with my angel's head!" He roared in reply.

Again I sighed. "You did the exact same thing when you came back. You were all over him, yet still denied a possible future together, and when it came to the prospect of Ryan having one with someone else you claimed to be all for it, though you asked him to be willing to let you die if that were the case." I sadly frowned at the wolf. "You were manipulating him into giving you what_ you _wanted."

Paul strode forward, his face coming awfully close to mine. "Take that back." He hissed.

"No." I growled.

"Take it back!" He hollered in my face.

"No." I growled once more.

"Take it back!"

For a third time I sighed. "Fine, but only if you tell me you're sorry for molesting my puppy in your thoughts."

The wolf horrendously tried to suppress a chuckle and attempted to hold firm to his furious appearance. _'Only if I can hit you.'_ He thought.

"What?" I questioned with a laugh.

His quick passing thoughts became giddy. _'For the security camera!' _His mind joyfully stated. _'Please, Ed! I swear if you let me, and the footage gets onto television I'll never bring up you kicking me out of the palace again, nor will I picture my angel in bliss around you.' _For added measure he smirked while images of Ryan encased in his mouth, my son's head thrown back in orgasm, and his fingers clenched in Paul's cropped black hair disturbed me as they fluttered to mind.

I held back a growl, but nodded nonetheless – I'd let the wolf kiss me on the damn lips if it would convince him not show me those things. He acted purely on impulse seeing as his head was blank as he threw his right fist at me. It connected with my cheek, his knuckles cracking as the sting of my stone like skin split, and the force of the blow forcing my head to fly to the side.

The wolf let out a bellowing laugh as he shook out his aching hand, but he was a fool to think I wouldn't retaliate. Before he could even blink or move a muscle I had the back of his head gripped in my cold hands and slammed the bridge of his nose down on the edge of the table. With a loud ear piercing snarl Paul wrenched himself from my grasp, face bloody, and with a move I never saw coming I was instantly on my knees with my hands between my legs. "I know, bitch move..." He hissed as he took the napkin off the table and pressed it to his nose. "But there is something awfully fulfilling about nutting the king."

The pain was so immense that I felt sick to my stomach, and despite being undead the organ constricted causing the blood I had drunk earlier to make a reappearance in the form of a red slimy mess on the floor. The wolf guffawed and held out a hand to me. "Come on; get up, your grace." Too bad for him I was eternally seventeen and therefore petty and immature.

I extended out a hand to him, actually more like fist... with all my might... into his crotch! Like myself he crumpled to the floor, hands cupping his balls over his jeans with one of his knees landing in my vomit. However, unlike myself he laughed through the pain all the way down. "God, fuck, shit..." He spat through breathy laughter. "It hurts like hell... but you're such a pussy! You fucking puked!"

"Ha-ha, yeah, so funny." I mumbled, feeling rather unamused, and with a pained groan I took my hands off my crotch and lifted them to Paul's crooked nose. "Hold still." I instructed. He did as I said and with a few ugly sounding crunches, yet with no response to the pain on his part – show off – I was easily able to put it back in place. "I can't even fathom the wrath of my puppy if I ruined your face."

Paul smiled at me. "So, I look as handsome as ever then?"

I smirked in return. "Depends on your definition of handsome."

He smirked right back at me, and devilishly so. "Not you." He quipped as he pulled himself to his feet. His devilish smirk turned into an evil grin as he stepped even closer to me with his legs slightly spread to avoid my vomit and he taunted me by moving his dirty knee closer and closer to me. "Lick it clean, leech." He playfully demanded, yet continued to bring the disgusting thing closer to me. It was here I had to remind myself that not only was I eternally seventeen, but so was the dog. After years of practice we can learn to act like adults, but that doesn't mean we actually are – I think this little rendezvous proves that notion. If you ask me, it's a miracle the kingdom is still standing.

I pushed at his hips in effort to have him to quit his teasing. "As tasty as it looks," I just as playfully lied. "I probably shouldn't."

"Come on, put it in your mouth – I know you want it." He jubilantly kidded. I heard a gasp and the waitress' startled thoughts as she caught sight of Paul and I. I leaned to the side to glare at her like she was crazy, considering her mind went straight to thinking that I, her king, was about to blow this mongrel.

Paul gazed over his shoulder as he grabbed me by the hair to roughly position me back in front of him. "His grace might kill kittens, but we ought to be thankful that he _really_ knows how to serve his people."

"Your face." She breathed. "It's bloody."

The wolf chuckled. "Foreplay, darling." I rolled my eyes at his words while I wondered why I was willingly playing along with this whole charade. What kind of king was I?

"And the floor?" She queried in a quavering tone while eyeing my vomit between Paul's legs.

I swallowed my pride, decided to have some fun, and had my fingers clench his hips where they hand been resting all this time. "He's too big." I answered.

Paul nodded in agreement. "Plus he has a sensitive gag reflex. It's cool, though. I'm into that sort of thing."

"I'm, uh, just going to put this here." The waitress said referring to the bottle of absinth she had in her hand. I listened as she placed it on a table behind the wolf along with a glass, Paul's thanks, and the light footsteps of her walking away.

Paul looked down at me and grinned. "Well... since you're down there."

"Shut up." I said with a laugh and I climbed to my feet, wincing along the way.

"Balls still sore?" He asked.

I gave my head a nod. "Incredibly."

The wolf's grin brightened and widened. "Want me to kiss them better?"

I found myself rolling my eyes once more. "I'll pass."

He shrugged as he stepped back and grabbed the bottle of absinthe along with a shot glass. "Your loss." He hummed while pouring himself the green drink, and when he finished he placed the bottle back on the table and raised his glass of alcohol. "I wish to be drunk lest I remember the day the king almost blew me in a pub. Fowl memories, I do say – such wasted potential of that pretty mouth of his." He leaned his head back as he downed the liquid, and a funny expression contorted his face as he swallowed.

"Taste bad?" I questioned.

"It wasn't good..." He grumbled while placing the shot glass beside the bottle while he reached with his other hand for his back pocket to remove his wallet.

"I thought you said I was paying."

The wolf smiled. "Yes, but I am a gentleman, whereas you are not." He casually told me as he took a one-hundred dollar bill and placed it on our table.

I quirked a brow. "You're giving her a fifty dollar tip?"

He sighed. "You're right, I'm being cheap – she has to clean up your puke after all." He said while dropping another hundred onto the table.

I got my own wallet from my pocket and put yet another hundred over top of it. "Yes, but she had the displeasure of hearing about your 'puke fetish'."

"True," He mused, and added another bill. "But she had the displeasure of _meeting_ you."

I added another myself. "She had the displeasure of _seeing_ you."

The wolf quickly plucked all the cash from my wallet and put it on top of the growing pile. "You're just a general displeasure." He humorously quipped and strode away, dragging me with him.

* * *

Paul tossed the keys to his truck over to me as we headed down a stone path through a small park as we headed for the parkade. "You should probably drive, four beers and that shot on an empty stomach makes me think I probably shouldn't." He told me.

I nodded in agreement and lifted up the sleeve to the wool coat I wore to check the time on my watch. "Sure. Dinner has already been served at the palace, but if you want you could come over – I could whip you up something. I'm sure there's a game on TV we could watch too."

The wolf looked over and smiled at me. "Yeah, sounds awesome! Can Ryan join?" He questioned.

I frowned, was it bad that I wanted Paul all to myself? "How about your place instead?"

The wolf sighed. "That's cool, but Emily, Eric, and Riley are there with James." He informed me.

"Oh..." I hummed. I guess I could handle James. "What about tomorrow night at your place? I could still make something, also I've been waiting to put a bottle of polar bear blood to good use – I bet James would love it."

Paul's smile grew into a grin and he threw an arm around my shoulder, pulled me close, and gave my untamable hair a nuzzle. "Sounds like somebody is making an effort to be a good parasite." He mockingly cooed.

I furrowed my brows feeling rather insulted. "I've been making an effort for a good two months now."

He gave my arm a squeeze. "Yes, but your effort tends to be quite shit, Edward. Although, I really do appreciate you giving Ryan and I space."

"Yeah." I said with a bit of a sigh. "Don't thank me for that. Jacob is surprisingly good at blackmail, plus I've had a few other things on my mind."

Paul gave me a knowing look. "Your sisters?" I nodded and sighed once more causing the wolf's arm to become snug around me and he gave me a few friendly, though loving nuzzles that made me feel completely undeserving. "Wanna talk about it?"

I shrugged. "Not much to say. Jacob convinced me to confront them without their mother present, so I did just that. Their mother had actually informed them about me, and she was also right, my sisters didn't want anything to do with me." I dimly explained.

"Be thankful, Eddie." He said giving my arm another squeeze. "Just because they're not interested in a relationship doesn't take away from the family you already have. You need to learn how to be thankful for the things you already have instead of constantly seeking out the things you think you missed out on. You went from lab rat to king practically overnight, what more could you possibly want?"

"Too much... I should probably make a list."

The wolf chuckled and continued to give me even more nuzzles as we walked, and comforting ones at that. "If there's anything I know about those sorts of lists it's that they make you feel even more empty than ever. You think when it's complete that will be the end of it, things will be done, life will be perfect and all the negative feelings you've ever had will be replaced with positive ones, but that's just not the case, Ed. The only way you'll ever be happy is if you realize your life is wonderful just the way it is, and the only one making it anything but, is you." I gazed at Paul incredulously; he was probably right, actually he was right, but I wasn't about to admit to that.

We walked in silence over a wooden bridge that crossed a stream that ran into duck pond we were nearing while random thoughts of others crossed my mind. Paul's arm had fallen away from me and he debated with himself whether or not he should text Ryan just to say hi and to remind him that he loved him with all his heart and soul. After a few minutes of this and as we rounded the pond I was tempted to reach into the wolf's pocket and throw his cell in the water just so he'd give it up, yet a familiar mind I had accidentally wandered into caught me off guard.

I halted mid-step and looked around the place for the vampire that matched the mind. I found him about a dozen or so yards to my right, sitting on a park bench facing the pond, his back to Paul and I, and with a human's arm draped around his shoulder. The wolf turned around with a quirked brow while he wondered why I had stopped and as soon as his eyes met mine I nodded toward the bench.

Paul's quirked brow fell and pinched together with the other one while his mouth frowned. "I don't think I've ever heard a heartbeat more beautiful that yours." Charlie shyly murmured to the bigger, blond haired, and blue eyed human boy.

The human chuckled, his voice deep and he gave the leech a peck on the lips. "You've been saying that since the day you met me." He happily teased. Using the human's mind I watched as Charlie's cheeks paled in his signature vampire blush and he reached for another kiss, this time their lips lingered on one another. Paul took off in their direction and I hurriedly followed behind him. He sat on the bench beside the vampire, whereas I took seat beside the human while the two continued to suck face completely oblivious to us.

The wolf calmly cleared his throat. "Huh, I never pegged you for the cheating whore type." He mused in displeasure.

Charlie tore his lips away from the human's and whipped his head around only to be startled by the sight of the wolf. "Paul..." He breathed with wide eyes.

Paul scowled at the leech. "Let me guess... it's not what it looks like?"

"I, uh..." Charlie unsurely began. "God... please don't tell James." He begged.

"I won't."

The leech sighed in relief. "Thanks."

"You will." The wolf lowly growled and he snapped his gaze to the human who trembled beneath my arm I had slung over his shoulders to keep him from running and as uncomfortable as possible. He glanced back to Charlie and pointed at the water. "If you refuse I won't hesitate to drag this new human of yours into that _fucking _pond just to force his head under and count the seconds it takes for him to die. If that's not enough motivation, then know that your mother will be next, then your father – I swear to Jesus Christ himself, Charlie, that I will kill each and every person you hold near and dear unless you do the right thing by my brother."

Charlie looked my way and flicked his eyes to mine – he was desperately hoping I wouldn't allow the wolf to do such a thing. "And I'll help him." I hissed at the leech. I wouldn't actually, nor would anybody be dying, but _he_ didn't need to know that. I didn't particularly care for James, though over the past month or so my feelings for the wolf had grown exponentially, and for the first time in a long while I could say I have his back and mean it.


	53. Chapter 53

**Warning/Disclaimer: **Blood and stuff. Also, vampires don't burst into flame when touched by fire. I believe Stephenie Meyer said venom was extremely flammable, but not in this, BITCHES!**  
**

* * *

**Chapter Fifty-three  
**

_Point of View: James  
_

Remember how I said I'm a good dead boy? Yeah, well, I'm not so sure I want to be. Like the total rebel that I am I was peeking out of the living room curtains at the milf from down the street that was walking her big old Saint Bernard. She's a damn flirt too... not with me, I seem to have a lacklustre effect on most genitals, but Paul is another story. That woman was practically drooling between the legs for that wolf and would stop by every so often to drop off baked goods along with a few not so subtle hints that she thought Paul's cock should take her vagina for a joyride. Admittedly, I was a bit jealous of the attention he always received from both sexes and admittedly she was looking utterly scrumptious in those form fitting yoga pants and tiny little pullover hoodie with her massive fake tits hanging out. Everything about her screamed slutty housewife and everything about me screamed eat that bitch!

I did feel slightly guilty however – not for wanting to drain her of life, but for the hard-on I was sporting inside my jeans. I felt like I was betraying Charlie since my penis enjoyed the view. The woman truly wasn't my type besides dinner, though my dick didn't seem to care much. I wanted to feed, he wanted to fuck, and if you ask me that sounds like a dangerous combination for a newborn who lacks restraint and doesn't have a babysitter.

I snapped the curtains shut as I forced myself away from the window and sat my ass on the recliner while I flicked on the television just by looking at it. I closed my eyes and covered them with my hands as I desperately made myself imagine anything but blood and sex while trying overly hard to pay attention to the sound of a pizza commercial, yet the doorbell ringing had me up in a flash with the door open before I could even think about how that could have been a really, _really_ shit idea.

I grinned at my beautiful faced, dark haired, cock loving vampire while I casually leaned to the side in the doorway. "You were hardly gone a few hours – miss me, did you?" I happily flirted.

Charlie sighed as he pushed his way past me. "We need to talk." No we didn't; what the hell was he thinking?

I slammed the door closed with my mind and I turned around to grab his wrist. "No talking." I hummed as I pulled him to me. "More fucking." I eagerly pressed my lips to his for a heated kiss while I glided a cool hand up his equally cool side that I had slipped under his shirt and light coat. He gripped my hip and I moaned against his delicious lips as my pants became _way_ too uncomfortable. I wanted to fuck... scrap that, this newborn _needed_ a good hard romp in the sack. I was tense and hungry, yet I also felt moody, grumpy, and testy – a part of me wanted to yell despite the fact that I had no reason to. My disturbed mind was quite certain that pounding my vampire into the sheets of my bed was exactly what I needed to settle my nerves.

"Wait." Charlie whispered as he twisted his face away from mine and lightly shoved me away by the hip he had been holding. "I can't do this." He seemingly confessed. "I don't want you touching me. I honestly can't stand it any longer." I cocked my head as I gazed at my vampire; I was seriously taken aback by his words and was left speechless.

I let him take me by the front of my shirt and guide me to the leather couch to sit. "We_ have_ to talk." He vehemently asserted. "I've been putting this off, and I know it was selfish of me, but I _really_ care about you and the last thing I want to do is hurt you."

I furrowed my brows with the lack of understanding for the situation. "I wouldn't ever hurt you. I know you wouldn't hurt me either. I trust you."

Charlie nodded with a doleful frown. "I know, James..." He despondently breathed. "But, what I have to say _is_ going to hurt you, a lot."

I moved closer to him so our thighs were touching and I gently took his hand in mine, which he quickly placed back in my lap and let go of. I somberly eyed my vampire. What was going on with him? "Why won't you hold my hand?" I asked him.

"I just..." His eyes fell away from mine and his shoulders slumped. "I loved my human so much, James, I don't want you to ever think I didn't. I thought he was perfect, wonderful, and lovely in every way – he was everything to me, but he died." Ugh, is this _really_ what this is about? Why can't he get it through his pretty little head that I haven't gone anywhere?

I shook my head in disagreement. "Only partly, I'm still right here." I placed a hand on his knee, though he immediately brushed it away... that stung.

My vampire forced his gaze back to mine. "It was my human who I loved, it was my human who was my mate, and it's my human who isn't here anymore."

Again I shook my head. He just isn't getting it is he? "I'm right here; I'll always be here." I passionately stated. "You _know_ I love you, you _know_ I'm all yours, and you must _know_ that inside this vampire exterior is your human; I'm safe and sound, Charlie."

"No, my human is gone." He grimly stated. "I can't hear his heartbeat. I can't feel the warmth of his skin. I can't see his blue eyes. I can't even smell him anymore. You're not him, he's not safe and sound... he's dead."

I leaned back in my seat while my brows pinched together as I tried to figure out what he was getting at. "So, what you're saying is that you're just not used to me this way then, and that it'll take more time." I gave him a reassuring smile. "I can understand that, plus I've got all the time in the world. We'll easily get through this."

My vampire looked at me with a chagrined expression and gave a brief shake of his head. "No we won't." He mumbled under his breath. "Marcus reminds me so much of what you once were. He's blond and has the bluest eyes just like you did, plus for a human he is so incredibly strong, again just like you. He showed up at the perfect time – right when my heart felt like it was about to shatter, right when it seemed as if I had lost everything... it was like my human had returned. "

I licked my lips as I tried to comprehend what he was saying, but I just couldn't... or I didn't want to. "As a friend... it felt like _your human_ returned as a friend, because you're with _me... _your vampire."

He looked away from me. "Jamie..." He breathed, and he cautiously gazed back my way. "I need you to be tough right now." I nodded; of course I would be for him. "I'm always going to be your sire, I'm always going to be your friend, and I will _always_ deeply care about you, but I'm not _your_ vampire anymore, I'm not your boyfriend, I'm Marcus'."

I felt the feeling of stability crumble right from underneath me and I stared at him with wide black eyes. "But, you love me. You told me I was your mate. You _can't_ want to be with him" Was all I could say.

My vampire frowned at me apologetically. "I loved you as a human and I honestly thought that when you woke as a newborn I'd feel the same, and at first I did, but after a little while those feelings vanished. It isn't your fault, it's nothing you did, and I don't regret changing you – I'd rather you be like this instead of not existing at all."

"But, you love me." I frantically repeated. He had to love me. I trusted him with everything, he knows how I've been left by those who've said they loved me, so he wouldn't lie – he'd never lie to me. He'd never fucking hurt me either, he just isn't fucking capable it. He said he loves me, so he _loves _me.

He slowly shook his head and he gazed at me ruefully. "I don't love you, James." He gave me a pitiful frown. "I'm so sorry."

I darted from my seat to my feet in a pained shock and I gripped at my hair that was tied back making it a mess. "No!" I exclaimed as I stared down at him. "You fucking love me!"

The TV shut off when it crashed to the floor, the weight of my mind crushing it where it lay while the bulbs burst in all the lights. Charlie came to stand in front of me. "You_ need_ to calm down." He soothingly told me, yet it only served to irritate me. "And, you _need_ to understand it's Marc who I want to be with."

"Have you fucked him?" I cried agonizingly in question with the curtains blowing open and the panes of glass rattling behind them. For the love of fucking God say no, Charlie.

The vampire reached out for me and placed a hand on my forearm. "I never meant for things to end up this way..."

My eyes widened and the windows shattered, the glass flying outward and away from the house. "You have!" I cholerically screamed as I swatted him away from me, my throat both burning with thirst and the strain of my loud voice on my vocal cords. "How the hell could you do this to me?!"

"James..." He pleadingly said. "Believe me when I say I never wanted to hurt you."

"But, you are! You did!" I shrieked as the walls around us finely cracked from ceiling to floorboards. "You said you loved me!" He said it and I could have sworn he meant it!

"I did love you!" He emotionally boomed.

I fervently disagreed as I furiously shook my head from side to side while the wooden floorboards splintered and bits of the ceiling fell like little flakes of snow. "You never loved me!" I snarled in rage. "You loved what I was!" I should have known, I should have fucking known that nobody would actually love me the way I desired to be. I knew it was all too good to be true, but I wanted it so badly I believed the whole goddamn charade.

The vampire backed away toward the door with the obliterated flooring crunching beneath the rubber soles of his sneakers. "I'm not going to argue with you." He calmly responded. "You need stop and take a look at what you're doing to Paul's house. You have every right to be mad at me, but don't take it out on his stuff."

I let out a bark of enraged laughter while the house vibrated under the heavy weight of my anger and sadness. "It's _so_ cute how you worry about Paul's things, yet easily disregard me, your_ mate."_ I sarcastically and bitterly remarked while I forced the house to shake just enough to knock shelves over, pictures off walls, and nick-knacks off the mantle. I wanted this place to look exactly how I felt: a broken ugly mess.

Charlie reached behind him for the door handle, though as he tried to turn it I didn't let the thing budge. "Where are you headed in such a hurry?" I snapped at him. "Do you _miss_ Marcus?" I shouted, and the fireplace to my right burst to life with flames. "Do you want to _kiss_Marcus?" I hollered when the flames escaped their safe spot and climbed their way up to the wooden mantel. "Do you want to _fuck_ Marcus?" I screamed as the fire trickled out over the splintered floor, easily catching alight.

Charlie bolted from the door and out the broken window. I sprinted after him and leaped from the house onto the glass riddled front lawn, and just as the cheating cowardly little heart breaker reached for the door of his mother's blue sedan I ripped the car right from under his nose and off the gravel driveway. I wanted to kill him... I honest to god wanted to fucking kill Charlie!

The leech gasped and stared at me in horror while the vehicle hovered above him. "James, think about what you're doing!" He fretfully urged me.

More laughter racked my body, shaky bones, and singed nerves. A huge part of me just wanted to break down in tears, yet I couldn't possibly cry, plus it was such a pitiful and gutless action – fury seemed much more appropriate. "Did you ever stop to _think_ about what you were doing to me?" I yelled.

"Of course I did!"

"Before, during, or after _Marcus_ had his cock inside you?" I bellowed at the leech.

"James!" He fearfully shouted at me. "Please put the car down!" He begged. I fleered at the vampire and let the car drop over top of him. In reflex he hit the ground, yet when the vehicle was only but an inch away from landing on him I halted it in midair – it certainly wouldn't have turned him to dust on the driveway, but it would have caused him a hell of a lot of pain. Though, I had to confess it took a great deal of strength to stop myself from wrapping the car around the leech and squeeze him so fucking tightly he'd be nothing but little chunks of Charlie between the crumpled wreck.

"Are you happy now?!" I shrieked, because I'm not. "Is this what you wanted?!" It's nothing like I imagined for us. I was ridiculously sure that I was getting a happily ever after. I even thought I deserved one... for fuck's sake I thought moving on from Ryan would be the best thing for me. As it turns out I would have hurt far less if I just kept on hoping that the prince would one day notice me.

* * *

_Point of View: Edward_

Before I was able to pull into Paul's driveway the wolf had jumped from the vehicle and darted toward his house that was up in flames and smoke, yet beyond the fire, the second thing that caught my eyes was the upside down sedan that appeared as if it had fallen from the sky and dropped through the roof into the living room. The tail end of it hung outside of an obliterated front wall only a mere few yards from James, who stood motionless watching the fiery scene.

"James!" Paul bellowed as he tore across his front yard to grab the newborn he dearly loved like a brother to drag him away from the burning house. "What have you fucking done?! Where is everybody?!"

James faced the wolf appearing undeniably stunned. "Eric, Emily, and Riley left hours ago."

The wolf nodded. "But where's Charlie?" He asked, his tone panic stricken.

The newborn shook his head and his face turned pained. "He doesn't love me, Paul." He bleakly whimpered with his blonde brows furrowing. "He left me."

Paul once again nodded, though this time in understanding as he lifted his copper hands to James' cheeks and glided them into the sides of his tied back hair. "Is he in the house, Jamie?" He firmly questioned.

The newborn gave a shake of his head causing Paul's hands to slip to his shoulders. "No, I scared him away."

The wolf's stiff shoulders visibly relaxed and he pulled James into a loving embrace. "That's fine... everything is going to be fine." He breathed.

James' arms wrapped around Paul and his fingers clenched the back of his shirt. "Your house..." I strained my ears to hear him quietly whine as he hid his face away in the crook of a warm russet neck while I cut the engine to the truck which I had parked at the end of the driveway. I grabbed my phone from my pants pocket to call Jake and have him gather a team to clean up this mess – the last thing I wanted to deal with was James, and if the local fire department comes and sees me here or realizes just how the car got into the house, reporters will swarm like the inconvenient pests they are. Go ahead and call me selfish... or lazy, _but_ I did _not_ want to deal with the consequences of James' temper tantrum.

As soon as I heard about James' powers I wanted him gone; he's a weapon and god only knows what he's capable of. Surprise surprise, nobody else agreed with me, yet if the people of the kingdom find out they're walking among a loose cannon that has limitless capabilities they're not going to be happy, they're not going to feel safe, and I have no doubt in my mind that they'll express this in many, _many_ unpleasing manners that will piss me right off. Sometimes things are just better getting rid of... ugh, or in the newborn's case, kept hush-hush.

"Don't worry about it, Jamie. I'll get us a new one... a better one." Paul assured him. I pushed the call button on my phone, yet as I pressed it to my ear I suddenly felt the eeriness of James' cold dark stare. The newborn's chin was rested on Paul's shoulder, but his startlingly black eyes that had absolutely no whites to them clung to mine through the windshield like he was the predator and I was the prey. He smirked at me, and a wave of frightening thoughts belonging to him entered my mind.

Startled, I dropped my cell to the floor of the truck as I lunged for the handle to get the hell out of the vehicle, yet the door didn't budge in the slightest and all I ended up doing was ripping off the handle. James' arms dropped from around the wolf as he stepped away from him. He started toward the truck, that same smirk on his face along with the same malicious thoughts that pictured many cruel ways to end my undead life. I slammed my elbow against the window with all my strength, but as I feared it didn't so much as crack – James had me trapped in here like some animal in a cage.

With furrowed brows Paul followed along behind the newborn who rolled down the window a smidgen as he stopped in front of it. "How come the people who cause so much grief never have to suffer themselves?" He queried with a cocked head while his pale fingers came through the window to grip the edge of it. "That's hardly fair, don't you think?"

"Let me out of the truck, James." I sternly demanded.

His grip tightened on the window. "Why, are you afraid?"

"No." I honestly answered; I was fucking terrified. I knew he didn't think highly of me, he didn't have any reason to, and newborns were unpredictable... volatile... easily enraged and quick to snap. Now add his powers to it... if I could shit myself I would be.

The leech smiled at me. "You should be." I _hated_ those words.

"Jamie, quit it!" Paul heatedly told him as he grabbed one of the newborn's forearms and dragged him a foot or so from the vehicle. "Leave him alone."

"He tried to kill you, Paul!" James vehemently remarked. "He kept you away from your imprint, he left you in the forest, and you said yourself he wanted you to die."

The wolf glanced my way and I shook my head in disagreement. "I never tried to kill you!" I truthfully wasn't sure if what I said was in an effort to convince Paul or myself... most likely myself.

"Bullshit! You don't care about him! You're not his friend! You tried to take away the only person who has ever truly loved me before I even got the chance to know him!" The newborn hollered as he ripped himself from the wolf's grip and threw himself against the driver's side door with his palms on the window. "You may be king, your grace," He venomously snarled. "But I'm karma."

* * *

_Point of View: James  
_

There was something utterly satisfying about watching the king burn for his sins while crying with tearless eyes for his mate. Although, there was no part of me that enjoyed hearing the sizzling sound of Paul's skin as it hit the hotter parts of the truck in attempt to break through one of the doors or windows while he fervently screamed for me to free the leech. Not a chance, the flames I had personally set alight inside the truck were all for my precious king. They were just beginning to lick his back and I mentally promised the wolf that I'd make Edward feel the agony he was forced to feel against his will all those years apart from his imprint in one quick sitting.

The king's pale cheek was pressed up against the window, his body obviously as close to the driver's side door as he could get, and his fingers gripped the glass from where I had opened it a crack to tease him with a taste of freedom, which the smoke billowed out. I knew this wasn't like me, I knew I wasn't a vengeful person, but I was angry, I was hurting, and if anybody deserved justice it was Paul. Besides, I wasn't all that happy about my other brother being collared and thrown off a cliff either – I won't argue the fact that he deserved a consequence for his actions, though being threatened with death wasn't fucking fitting.

I strode toward the truck to roughly shove the wolf away from it and I biliously peered in through the window at his grace. "Eye for an eye, _bitch_." I growled at him. If he were to see another day that would be fates doing, not mine; as far as I was concerned he was as good as charcoal. "I'd start praying for a miracle if I were you." I taunted the wailing leech. His voice raised in volume and his pained face scrunched as he shouted for his mate to hurry. My brows furrowed as I tried to understand Edward's action, though I was taken off guard when Paul tightly grabbed me by the back of the head and slammed the side of my face against the rear passenger window that had flames dancing against it.

"Stop hurting him!" The wolf furiously snarled over the hiss of my skin being burnt. I cried out with the harsh sting of the burn and had no choice but to throw the wolf off of me using my powers. He tumbled across the lawn and guilt chewed at me as a few stray shards of glass caught in his skin. As quick as I could I plucked each bit from him with my gaze, dropped them to the ground, and blew the bloody pieces along with the rest toward the house that was going down in flames.

There was an agonized howl in the distance that caused Paul to startle as he climbed to his feet and sprinted back to the truck. "Let Edward out of the goddamn vehicle!" He screamed at me, the vein to the left of his neck pulsing with anger, yet also delicious life. "Jacob is less than a minute away... if he sees his imprint like that..."

"Paul!" His grace cried in exclamation, his fingers extending as far as they could get out of the window. The wolf immediately put his hands over them to comfort the leech the best he could. "Ryan... take care of Ryan." I couldn't fight the smile that adorned my face; the king thought he was going die and the little diddy he spoke sounded an awful lot like acceptance of the wolf. Then again, people say the craziest things when they're on their death beds. I came to the wild conclusion that I loved Charlie... love Charlie, and I do, but without that extra big shove of thinking I'd never see him again would my feelings have ever spawned so large?

"Shut up." The wolf pitifully whined. "That's your job." He looked over at me with teary eyes. "Please, James, do it for me! Stop this, stop hurting my best friend!" My teeth clenched and I felt rage prickle my skin like thousands of needles were poking me all over my body – how could he _ever_ consider that leech his friend, let alone his most prized one? Did he not understand how shit that vampire treated him? Did he not understand how much needless fucking suffering he created for him?

I glared at the flames inside the truck, willing them to grow, and just like that they burst so big that reddish-orange flashes of fire escaped through the open crack of the window. His grace, hand and all, disappeared from sight inside the smoky fire riddled vehicle and Paul reflexively ripped his hands away from the heat as he bellowed for me to stop my torment on the king. I disagreed, it wasn't torment, it was fucking payback.

* * *

_Point of View: Jacob  
_

My heart pounded so damn hard in my chest that I practically felt dizzy and my legs like rubber. I could smell the heavy scent of smoke in the air and see the flames eating away at Paul's house as I sprinted on four paws towards the truck at the end of the driveway while I listened to my imprint's whimpers on my cell that Emmett carried at my side – thank fuck for GPS tracking. As I closed in on the vehicle I let out a ferocious snarl that echoed around the dead end street and caused a pissed off looking leech and despondent wolf to stare in my direction along with the dozens of guards behind me. James smirked, as if saying challenge accepted – I wasn't here for a fight, though. I was here for one thing, and one thing only, Edward. I didn't care what it fucking took to get him; there was no low too low to sink and nothing I wouldn't do to make sure I had my husband safe in my arms.

I focused my eyes on the vampire as I lunged into the bed of the truck. I could fully tell he was readying himself for the impact of my furry body, yet I had other things on my mind and while I leaped from the truck past the parasite in the general direction of Paul my gaze shifted to him. Like I had hoped I collided with the wolf and as we crashed to the gravel driveway I sunk my teeth into the first part of him my jaws could connect with, which just so happened to be the crook of his neck. The wolf yelped in pain, though I pulled us to our feet – him facing me – and tightened my hold on his shoulder with his clavicle shattering between my teeth nonetheless. I fought the urge to flinch as Paul's hands lost themselves in my fur and roughly gripped at the strands, yet not cause me pain, but to ease his own – I was certain he knew my intentions and they weren't to intentionally hurt him. I didn't have time for guilt though, but I knew there was a hell of a huge possibility of feeling a shit ton of it later.

"Free the king, Timmy, or Lassie gets it." Emmett barked at James from the opposite side I stood and with all the guards at stand still behind him eagerly awaiting orders.

The newborn darkly glared at me, daring me to do something, though I could barely look at him – smoke and flames alike billowed from the window of the truck that was open a slit. I strained my ears to listen to my phone and the sound inside the vehicle... my mate was silent. With a terrified growl I squeezed my jaws further closed, flesh and bone squishing between my teeth. Paul was trembling like a madman, but quiet in my grip as blood poured from his body and past my lips, yet the leech didn't budge.

My eyes narrowed in on James – if he wanted to play, we'd play. In less than a quarter of a second I snapped my teeth upwards and to Paul's neck. Like a valve had burst, blood drenched both my muzzle, chest and the ground alike from the deep puncture wounds I made while the wolf's one able hand whipped to his neck in a fruitless attempt to pry my grip loose so he could breathe. To my utter glee and as if the lock to the truck door was in buried deep in Paul's fleshy neck the thing opened and out fell my imprint limply to the ground.

I ripped my teeth from the wolf, not being able to care if I injured him further in the process and darted toward my vampire while phasing along the way to my human form. I fell to my knees at his side and dragged his severely burnt body away from the fiery vehicle and to a cool patch of grass where I could get a better look at him. Most of his clothes were gone as a result of the flames and his entire back was charred black along with his arms and the back of his hands. There was a trail of black up one of his sides, across his chest and continuing up a large portion of his neck to just below his ear. His legs were in bad shape, his hair singed, nearly all of it gone, but it was definitely his back that had by far gotten the brunt of the damage.

"Eddie." I breathed as I placed my warm, though quavering hands to his cheeks – I was expecting them to be cool, yet they were far hotter than any part of my skin. I gently ran my fingers over his closed eyelids to rouse him and get his attention. "Ed, c'mon, baby, open your eyes." My heart thudded painfully in my chest and sweat began to bead on my forehead as the seconds ticked by without my vampire making a peep or twitching a muscle.

The wolf's spluttering caught my attention for a mere few seconds and I was able to see him on the driveway, James rolling him to his side as he sputtered on his blood while he gasped for air. "I'm sorry, Paul. I'm so fucking sorry." The leech vehemently apologized. "You're going to be okay... you have to be."

I looked up at Emmett who had come to stand close by me. "Take the parasite away." I ordered.

The vampire gave me nod and motioned for a handful of vampiric guards to follow him. "Up you get." He huffed while he grabbed James by the arm and hauled him to his feet. "Someone is in need of a _long_ timeout so they can think about what they've done." He shoved the leech into the hands of the guards, one of them wrapping his black shirt around James' head to cover his eyes like Jasper had earlier suggested – he thought the newborn needed his eyesight to use his powers.

As they dragged him into the trees I looked back to my imprint while I willed my dad... Jasper, to hurry the fuck up. I brushed the back of my fingers down the length of Edward's cheek, once again trying to get him to come back from wherever he'd gone off to. "Open your eyes for me, Eddie." I worriedly begged him. "You're scaring me." I leaned over him and gave him a loving nuzzle along with a few tender kisses. "Open your fucking eyes." I pleadingly whined.

A chill ran down my spine and I was absolutely fucking positive that all the blood drained from my face as my vampire's peachy-pink lips paled to the colour of his milky skin that began to craze right before my eyes. I darted my vision to the guards. "What's happening?" I fretfully queried. "Why is he getting worse?" Dozens of eyes looked away from mine, nobody wanted to tell me. "Answer me!" I growled in demand.

"Jake." Paul coughed. "Jake." He repeated and I whipped my head to the side to glare heatedly at the wolf. "His body is trying to heal." He informed me, though his words were shaky and separated as he spoke – blood in his throat and mouth kept causing him to gag and choke. "He's too injured to heal." He sputtered between words, yet forced himself to his wobbly legs and took a few swaying paces over to Ed and I. "The energy he's exerting trying to heal is making him weaker... killing him."

"No!" I roared. "Fix him!" I cried in a panic. My mind was frozen; I didn't know what the hell to do! "Fucking fix him, Paul!" I'm a selfish wolf, always have been – I couldn't even think or care about that fact that the wolf's neck looked like it had gone through a fucking cheese grater, nor could I care that through his torn shirt I could see a fragment of his collar bone poking from his skin – the only thing on my mind was Edward, my husband, _my imprint_; I'd sacrifice a thousand Paul's and everybody else for him.

The wolf dropped to his knees beside me, I scooted out of his way and to Ed's free side. He leaned over my vampire, his blood dripping all over Ed's chest, and he pulled open his king's mouth by his chin. Paul lowered himself to press the fast paced weeping wound on his neck between my imprint's lips and lifted his head slightly so the flow of blood would trickle down his throat.

It didn't take long for all my fears for my imprint's life to float away – the thin cracks in his skin vanished as quickly as they came and just as his eyes opened his teeth sunk into Paul's raw flesh. My vampire was clearly distressed, his eyes showing all the agony he felt as they clung to mine, and he heartrendingly whimpered in pain while he drank. I told him not to move and cooed soothing and loving words to him as I ran my fingers through his patchy singed hair.

After a good few minutes of feeding my vampire was tired and needed a break. He turned his head away from Paul toward me and the wolf cleaned off my imprint's pale face with the sleeve of his shirt after gently resting his head in the grass. My husband tiredly blinked as Paul rolled away from him and onto his back. "I love you." Edward hoarsely croaked. "I love you so fucking much." He fervently and quietly uttered.

I ducked down to ravish his face with kisses. "Oh god, baby, I love you too." I passionately replied. "You had me so damn scared."

"I'm sorry." He whimpered.

I shook my head and held his face in my hands. "No, Eddie, don't be sorry – none of this is your fault."

Edward chocolaty brows furrowed, clearly in disagreement. "This _is_ my fault." He whispered. "Paul?" He breathed as he turned his head the wolf's way and I took my hands away from his face to rest on his torso; I _needed_ to be touching him. "You okay?"

The wolf groaned, though didn't move to look at my vampire. "I think so."

My vampire peered at the injuries on Paul. "James got to you too?" He inquisitively queried.

"Something like that..." Paul moaned. I was thankful for his vagueness – I'd explain everything to Edward later.

"You look pasty." I told the wolf. "You sure you're feeling alright?"

The wolf swallowed, his neck showing small signs of healing. "I just wish Ryan was here." He sadly murmured.

* * *

___Point of View: Edward  
_

The roar of engines and the thoughts of many new minds entering my head alerted me to the presence of military help – I thanked the gods it wasn't civil help. Military meant no reporters. I could handle the video at the restaurant of Paul punching me spreading across the kingdom, but I did not want the image of me looking like burnt fucking marshmallow in everybody's homes. "About goddamn time dad got here. I'll get them to move you two, then have them put out the fires." Jacob informed us. He gave me a little kiss on the lips not caring in the slightest that they tasted of Paul's blood, and stood to go give his instructions.

"Jake sure is calm – if I saw Ryan looking like you..." Paul muttered.

"Fuck..." I groaned as I forced myself into a sitting position. Parts of me burned like I'd never left the fire, my back being one of the main parts that were causing me the most relentless agony. If I could cry I'd be a blubbering mess, yet because I couldn't I at least got to preserve my dignity... Oh, for Christ's sake, fuck my dignity, fuck it straight to hell where it should stay; that thing is long gone.

I gazed down at a sickly appearing Paul. "Jake is king, holding it together is part of the job." Something I haven't quite mastered yet. I smiled at the wolf. "You'll be good at it when you're emperor."

His tired eyes widened. "You think?"

"Yes." I answered honestly. "You are strongest when someone is counting on you. I can only imagine the strength you'll have when you've got a whole empire to look out for."

The wolf sighed. "I did try. I wanted to save this kingdom. This whole thing; yeah, you can thank me for it – it was my evil plan to get one step closer to the throne. It failed terribly."

I once again smiled at the wolf; he was going to be just fine. "Evil plans have a tendency to do just that." I playfully chastised through my pain; it made me feel good keeping his mind off his own.

"I know." He grumbled. "Look at your fucking life."

"Fuck you." I hissed as I not-so-gently tapped the bone that was protruding from the wound on his shoulder. He loudly growled in response and smacked my scorched arm causing me to cry out in a flurry of pain – the wolf fucking laughed, though winced the whole way through it... that made me feel a little better. "Now, where's your phone?" I asked with a light chuckle, and good god did it ever hurt.

The wolf's inky dark brows pinched together, but took his cell from his pocket and handed it over nonetheless. "Got some important kingly business that urgently needs tending to?"

I shook my head, yet immediately regretted it – the pull on the burn on my neck was enough to make me whimper and feel nauseous. "No." I mumbled while I scrolled through his contacts and desperately tried to ignore the disgusting appearance of the back of my hands and arms. I clicked on Ryan's name to send him a text message. "I'm telling your imprint to get his butt over to the hospital. You're going to need surgery on that shoulder to realign your bones – he'll be the first thing you see when you wake." I shot the wolf yet another smile. "Promise."


	54. Chapter 54

I definitely have to apologize for the length of this chapter. Let's pretend it's a bunch chapters I owe you all bundled into one tight package... like a present... a Christmas present! Can we agree on that?**  
**

**Warning: two sexy times ahead.  
**

* * *

**Chapter Fifty-four  
**

_Point of View: Ryan**  
**_

Days ticked by like seconds on a clock and months flipped past like pages in a book; everything was just a blur. I've learned that time does _not_ in fact heal all wounds. I couldn't believe it was possible to be left with this mess, this hole, this gaping thing in the front of your chest – you stare at it and all you can wonder is 'how the fuck could someone so easily rip my heart out'? Maybe I was lucky, he didn't take as much of my heart as he did from others. I wasn't left in agony, but there was a relentless pain, there was this longing, and no part of me wanted to believe that I would never see his blonde hair, blue eyes, wide smile, or hear his loud laughter ever again. Paul would never again get silly advice that somehow worked. Emily lost the unconditional love of her best friend. Eric would never get the chance to make up for all the mistakes he made, and I, well, I lost the one person in my life that I never deserved in the first place.

I look back and I see everything James did for me – all the time he spent, all the love he gave me, all the hugs, kisses and cuddles he adored giving me even though I didn't like them half as much as he did. I wish I did though... I really wish I did. I don't understand why fate would do this to him. He was so perfect, so wonderful, yet he was stuck loving me and in a desperate attempt to fill that void he jumped all in with Charlie. I couldn't stand that leech – I was by no means good to James, but I didn't even come near to the hurt he caused my friend. I never kissed him like he was my world, I never made love to him, I never gave him a false sense of security, and I definitely never referred to him as my mate. Charlie sure had some audacity to lecture me like he did in the hospital. That was over a year ago... feels almost like yesterday, though.

Sometimes I tell myself that Paul sent James off to college just so I don't have to think about him not existing. A part of me so badly wishes I could reverse time and force myself to love him – I'd sacrifice it all just so he could get his happily ever after, his prince. I love my Paulie, I can't imagine life without him... his love, his kisses, but I want my friend back. I want _Jamie_ back. I so desperately wish he was alive. I so desperately wish I could have given him every little bit of me to prevent him from being put to death in a cold dark place. I never even got to say goodbye, to say I didn't want this for him – none of us did.

I never could have imagined that one day my own father would be ordering my best friend's death, and I certainly never could have imagined my best friend would try to kill my dad either – I begged for his life anyway. James was a newborn with powers beyond what anybody should have; he needed help, not a funeral... which he never got. Father forbid it, even dad with all his scars that even his vampire capabilities couldn't heal tried to reason with him. He said it wasn't really for James, but for everybody who loved him – father didn't budge. James had committed high treason, he tried to kill his king, and according to father he was our enemy and anybody who believed otherwise was nothing but a traitor. My best friend never got a funeral, not even a grave; he was cremated and thrown away. _Thrown away_... the thing he was most utterly terrified of.

I can't fathom... I don't want to fathom the horror he felt before they took his life; before they took his head from his body. I can't stand the thought. What if he was praying for a miracle, what if he was praying for Paul to save him or for me to convince my parents to spare his life. The second Paul was out of the hospital he was searching for James and with Eric at his side he pleaded with father just like I had to let James live. It was fruitless and he begged my dad to do something, even if it meant going behind my father's back – it was less than twenty-four hours after that father told us James had been put to death, dad confirmed it... that's because dad did it. I couldn't believe my ears. He showed no remorse, nothing. I asked him how he could have done such a thing and his only reply was that it only seemed suitable that the man James tried to murder be the one to _deal _with him. Father didn't watch, dad didn't want him to, but according to the two of them he did see his ashes and he was the one to toss them in the trash.

It felt like my life was in shambles for a long while after that. Eric left with Katie and rented a little one bedroom place with the money he made with the job Randall gave him at one of his gyms. Both Paul and I tried to force money on him so he'd get a proper place for the two of them to live – Eric insisted he was fine sleeping on the couch. At the time my alpha wolf was distant with me, but I was thankful for Emily, she kept his head on straight and I know he spent every spare moment he had with her. He confided in Paul that he thinks he loves her... later Riley confided in me that he thinks he loves her... She's around the palace a lot and not always with me. She spends the night with Riley just as often as she spends the night with Eric at his place, which is frequently. She's admitted to me that she loves them both and that she can't possibly choose, not that either of them pressure her to. I still take Katie every Friday night, and on those nights both Emily and Riley stay at his place. Goodness knows what they get up to.

Dad has completely let up on uncle Riley. They honestly don't really even talk; Riley doesn't even come to the dinner table anymore – he just does his own thing, not that I'm really sure what that is. Like I said, Riley has no rules, he's a free prince and as a matter-of-fact so am I. It doesn't really matter much anyway, dad couldn't possibly do anymore damage than he has. I'll always love him, but I'll never forgive him for what he did to James. The same goes for my father. I know that what my friend tried to do was extremely wrong, maybe even unforgivable, yet even that doesn't have me convinced he's a bad person, not even remotely. James is the kindest, gentlest, and most loving person I've ever known – what he did... that wasn't him. Besides, it's not like my parents haven't done unforgivable things. They may be kings, but they'll never be saints.

I know my father acted purely out of rage when it came to James' death. He was furious that someone dare try and take his imprint from him. He is livid that over half of my dad's body is covered in scars, and where there is scarring there is no feeling. Most of my dad is numb and I know it kills father that his imprint can hardly feel him... I think it upsets my dad more, however. My dad is only the shell of the man he used to be, which in its own right is a good thing. He was possessive, aggressive, and manipulative, yet now he is this quiet docile vampire that not many hear a peep out of, not even me. There's a sad man, most likely boy inside him – I see him about as much as I hear him, though when I do catch an eyeful of him I sometimes have to do a double take to make sure that I really am looking at my dad.

He looks so lost and unsure of himself, and when he speaks he doesn't make eye contact unless he's doing kingly business which you can tell he usually loathes. The scars clearly stole his confidence and with that his ego. For the longest time he kept reaching out to Paul, though the wolf wanted nothing to do with him and I couldn't blame him. My dad was well and truly alone except for father and I believe he felt the weight of it. I noticed a few times he tried to strike up friendly conversation with gramps, but he was immediately shot down. Grandpa wanted nothing to do with his son-in-law – dad had burnt that bridge many moons ago. I even remember him timidly asking Emmett if he'd be up for doing something together. Uncle just laughed in his face and said 'not really'.

Father easily noticed how lonely dad is, and pathetically enough he had to _order_ his pack to spend time with his imprint. I only know this because father ordered me to be there too and it was just about the most awkward thing I've ever encountered. You could tell by the look on Seth, Brady, cousin E.J. and Quil's face that in my dad's presence was the last place they wanted to be. When E.J. shifted I was a little disappointed that he stuck true to his word and wanted nothing to do with my pack – with Emmett's help, father has since given him quite the attitude adjustment. He's pleasant enough now, but I still feel a bit of resentment.

My dad tried with the pack, I'll give him that, but the wolves weren't biting the bait and only after a few minutes of company my dad said if any of us didn't want to be there with him we didn't have to be. I honest to god felt bad for him when they all stood from the booth at the restaurant before their food had arrived and took off. I felt even worse when he looked at me with the assumption that I'd be staying.

He offered up a forced and small smile. "I guess it's just you and me then."

I gave him an apologetic frown. "Actually, dad, I'm going to head off too." I told him, and he appeared absolutely crushed. "I mean, if it's alright with you." I added.

He nodded, though it was rather despondently. "It's fine... if you've got better things to go do, go do 'em." I didn't. I just didn't want to be around the guy who killed James. Every time I looked at a fork on the table and back at him I thought the thing would fit ever so nicely into his eye socket.

In a desperate attempt to salvage the situation as I stood I suggested he invite the guards that father made him take around with him come sit with him and eat the food the wolves had ordered. "Yeah, maybe..." He mumbled while his scarred right hand picked at a napkin. I offered up a shrug and said it was better than no company; he nodded in agreement as his eyes fell away from my general direction and to his hands. He winced in disgust when he caught sight of them and hid them away in the sleeves of father's oversized hoodie.

With the scars dad seemed to lack interest in holding up any sort of appearance. I couldn't remember the last time I saw him in a dress shirt or even a nice pair of slacks. It was always sweats or jeans and a long sleeved shirt or t-shirt and hoodie – not that he'd ever dare show off his arms' the hoodie always stayed on. I truthfully hadn't seen much of dad's scars besides his hands that were completely covered and the big one that took up one side of his neck to his ear. The back of his neck had also been burnt just short of his hairline.

While he was at home, which was almost always, he usually hid away in his room or in the office with father. Whenever possible father would have his arms around his imprint like he didn't dare let go. He really had gotten overbearing when it came to dad though. It was like dad had become this delicate little glass object that father loved to obsess over. It drove everybody nuts, except for dad that is... father was the only one paying him any sort of attention after all – he clearly revelled in it. Yet, there was one very _very_ big difference when it came to those two, there was no sexual tension... none of it.

I didn't know the exact extent of my dad's scars. I knew his legs were a mess, his back a wreck, and I believe he even had some scarring on his front. I wasn't sure if dad was just self-conscious or that so much of him couldn't feel, but I highly suspected he'd been burnt in places it hurts to even think about. I very briefly overheard father complaining to grandpa Seth about the fact that dad couldn't get hard – I don't know why, I didn't stick around to find out.

Father quickly regained his position as leader of the house, or palace I suppose, after dad's burning. Father is a happy man and he handles his and his husband's responsibilities well, and with dad in the background he receives more attention than ever. Before with dad's attitude people shied away from father, but now they seem to flock to him. I'm bitter however, and I don't necessarily like seeing father get such positive reinforcement.

He does his best with me. He tries to act like James never happened, but James _did_ happen and father _could_ have spared his life, yet he _didn't_. That is not something I can easily or ever move on from. I won't forget James; wherever he is... if there's a heaven or an afterlife, I pray that he knows I'll never forget him. I know he thought he was forgettable, even unlovable – that's just not the case. Father can go ahead and try to make James out to be the devil, but I'll never fall for it. My best friend Jamie was a good person... a good person who did a terrible thing. I killed someone; I killed someone who was just playing a mean prank, but because of who I am I got away with it. I didn't even get a slap on the wrist and my dad told me to never feel guilty for the life I took. James didn't take a life, almost... yet he didn't. Had he done that to a regular person he'd have gone to prison for a long time, but he'd have never received a death sentence.

I understand that father was angry that James hurt dad the way he did. I understand that those scars will never go away and I understand the fear my father must have felt seeing his imprint burning. What I don't understand is how could he want James dead knowing the effect it would have – nobody argued that he should be let out of prison, we just wanted him alive. My dad never stated his opinion on the matter, though I figured he had to have agreed with father seeing he was the one who took my friend's life.

Paul was truly the one to take it the hardest. Eric, I don't know... he hasn't accepted the fact that James is gone. He's not willing to mourn. He told me in confidence that he believed his baby brother was alive and would come back to us. He insisted he'd be able to feel it if he lost him. They were blood after all and he'd _know_ if James was truly gone. This irritates Paul _a lot_, and the pair have gotten in many fights, even physical ones, because my wolf can't stand it when Eric says their brother is out there somewhere. "Yeah, he's at the fucking dump, in a plastic bag, because Jacob tossed him in the goddamn trash, Eric!" Paul had once hollered at him, which the alpha wolf fervently refused to believe.

Like I said, Paul took James' death the hardest. He blamed himself. He said he knew the newborn was unstable, yet he sent Charlie there without really thinking about the consequences of the vampire's confession. He thought Emily, Eric, and Riley were there to keep an eye on him. He had no idea James was home alone... he was _never_ supposed to be alone, but Charlie had left him alone and didn't even care to inform my wolf who would have immediately gone home. Instead the vampire went and canoodled with some human at a park where Paul caught him. All Charlie got was a measly three months in purgatory. Only _three months_, yet his actions caused my dad's scars and James' life.

Once we got word of James' death my wolf went downhill at an alarming rate. Not only did he lose the first person he called family since his parents, but he lost his home and the life he'd just started to build for himself. He refused to ever see his house that had burnt to the ground and also refused to rebuild. He didn't bother to try and sell the place, instead he donated it to the city along with enough money to build a nice park for neighbourhood kids. It turned out great, though Paul never cared to check it out.

For months my wolf stayed in a hotel, which I strongly disapproved of. Crazily enough after my eighteenth birthday, which was horrible by the way since Eric and Paul refuse to come to the palace or be in the presence of my parents... Emily sucks it up for Riley and me, my dad asked me to extend the invitation to Paul that he was welcome to move back into the palace. I told dad there wasn't a chance in hell of that happening. "Not even if he could share a room with you?" He had asked and my jaw had dropped. The sad thing was I knew it wasn't really for me; my dad was so desperate for company he was willing to do just about anything.

I thought maybe, just maybe, Paul would want to come back to the palace to live with me, but I was wrong. He would rather stay in his dinky hotel room. I honestly don't know who was more disappointed, me or my dad. Over time I started seeing less and less of Paul, certainly not by my doing, but his. We'd make plans, but he wouldn't show up. I'd go to Nahuel's expecting to see him there, though the wolf would tell me he had called and cancelled. There came a point where he'd no longer touch me, not even hug or a kiss on the cheek. I asked every once in awhile if he was still going to his therapy sessions, which of course my dad was no longer invited to. He always got agitated when I asked, but always affirmed that he was.

As it turns out, he wasn't, and hadn't gone since the death of James. I learned the hard way that I really needed to keep Paul on a short leash and I had to believe that James babysat my wolf just as much Paul babysat him. A time came where nobody had seen or heard from Paul in a few days. I hadn't been concerned by his absence considering he'd been doing that a lot at the time, however I was concerned when I found out nobody had talked to him or had been able to reach him.

Nahuel, Eric, Emily, and I all went to the hotel together and I had to deal with something I thought I'd never have to ever again. Paul had lost himself and it was heartbreaking to see his tears of shame when we had to break down his door because he wouldn't let us in. The place was immaculately clean, yet covered head to toe in labels. Not a single thing in the room was left unlabelled – we're talking the walls, the floor, closet doors, _handles_ on the closet doors... everything had a tag. He didn't want us touching anything and I'd hear his heart pick up when our hands got close to something of his.

Paul cried as he told me that none of what was going on changed how he felt about me, he begged me not to hate him for this, and he vehemently expressed how sorry he was for failing me. The thing was he hadn't failed me, not by far. He was still my Paulie, my wolf, and my future. He really was crazy if he thought I could hate him just because his past caught up with him. Although, the one thing that I didn't understand was that he always used to tell me how much better I made him feel and that just looking at his imprint made him feel excitement for all the wonderful possibilities headed our way, yet all this stopped the day James died. It was like Paul and I were put on hold.

I know I should have been more vigilant when it came to my wolf's therapy, but I believed him when he said he was going; he's never once lied to me. He hates lies, and you should have seen the look of guilt on Paul's face when father forced him to tell the truth about who attacked him the day of my dad's burning. Felix sure had some nerve lying to a prince when I confronted him about what he'd done, it was only when father showed his face and told him to fess up that he did. I demanded that he be fired, but he pleaded for his job with my parents. It seems you can get away with severely injuring my mate, but god forbid someone touches my father's. I didn't hesitate to make it known to the wolf on a continuous basis just how unwanted he was at the palace. Sure it was petty; I couldn't say I cared, though.

Eric, Nahuel and I quite literally had to drag a kicking and screaming Paul out of his hotel room while Emily desperately tried to shush him. It was only when we reached Nahuel's old black Chevelle and got him into the back that he finally give into the she-wolf's coos. He fell into her with his big strong arms wrapped around her small frame as he sucked in her soft feminine scent like his life depended on it. I believed he found that it wasn't at all intimidating like us males, so it soothed him. I know my scent brought on urges I was certain he would have rather not feel at that moment. Just days before the fire Paul mentioned to me that my scent made him want to do the dirtiest things to me. I couldn't help but laugh at this and I dared to ask what he thought I smelt like. I got a one word answer: seduction. I thought for sure he had to be full of it, yet he seemed utterly serious.

While lazing in my bed together I asked him to explain how my scent affected him. "Depends." He said with a devilish little smirk. "When you're not aroused and I'm near you all I'm thinking about is ways to make you desire me. I don't really know why, but I yearn to smell your arousal – I could never actually give you a good idea what you smell like considering you don't smell like anything I've ever encountered before. I guess, if I had to say something, I'd say nature... You make my wolf come to life inside me and you make my body crave to feel all the natural pleasantries it's capable of. The longer and more I smell your arousal the more possessive I feel. I think your scent is for me only, that I'm the only one who gets it, the only one who gets you, and I think of your body as belonging to me and I want nothing more than to spoil it. When I get to taste the most intimate parts of you while my hands explore your skin as I'm breathing heavily through my nose you can't imagine the little jolts of electricity that run through me and straight to my crotch – I get the strongest most insatiable and illogical urge to fill you with my seed."

I think it's quite fathomable the massive grin I had on my face. "That's your inner wolf telling you to mate with me." I happily informed him.

He quirked a brow and shook his head. "We can't mate, sweetheart; we're men."

I rolled my eyes. "Fine," I huffed. "That's your inner wolf telling you to stick your penis inside my nether region and spill its guts all up my butt."

My wolf chortled and gave me a teensy, but loving kiss on the lips. "Could you have possibly made that sound any less sexy?"

I nodded with a smile. "Most definitely, but what would you have me say instead?"

Paul gave me a horny little growl and pulled me onto him so I could straddle him; his erection was beyond evident. "I just want you to tell me how badly you want me." He answered while he lasciviously gazed up at me.

I smiled down at him as I rubbed my bottom against his hardness and his large copper hands came to my hips to make sure I didn't stop. "Do you want me to tell you how much I want _you_ or how much I want your _cock_?"

"Mmm..." He hummed as his eyes fluttered closed for a moment or two and he slightly raised his waist while he pushed me harder to him. "My cock."

My smiled faded into a sexy smirk – I hope – and I continued to let him guide me against him just the way he liked it. "God, Paulie, I want your cock so badly. I want to feel you stretch me... feel you fill me... I want my tightness to give you pleasure, to make you cum, and I want your seed just as badly as you want to give it to me."

With a ghost of a crooked smile on my wolf's lips he slid his hands to the front of my jeans and popped open the button and slid down the zipper. "Touch yourself for me." He murmured in demand.

I pushed the hem of his shirt up his body. "Take it off." I lustfully ordered.

"You too." He just as lustfully huffed. In unison we removed our shirts and tossed them to the floor of my room. Paul glided his hands up my bare sides as I pulled my excited member through the flap on the front of my boxers and slowly I began to stroke myself, which my mate eyed intently. "Fuck, you're so hot." He breathily stated. I loved it when he called me handsome and the like, but in that moment being hot was so much better.

"Do you _want_ me?" I questioned while I gazed down at his beautiful russet torso. I imagined tasting his pecs, his abs... and so much lower.

Paul gave me a small nod as he ground against me. "I dream of what your heat would feel like around me, the sound of your moans, and the sensation of your fingernails digging into my back as the bliss I'm giving overwhelms you." Believe me, I dream about all that too. "I want to feel the way you tighten and squeeze me when you orgasm, I want to feel your warm breath on my skin, and hear your heart rapidly beating because of my touch." I couldn't take those kind of words anymore and I leaned down to capture his lips in a needy kiss. I had known he thought of those kinds of things, yet I also knew he was far from ready... he's expressed as much. He told me only a week or two before this that he yearned to make love to me, but a promise to my dad and the fear of regretting it or it being too much for him to handle had him shying away. I didn't mind waiting for him – at the time he spoiled me enough that it hardly felt like I was.

My wolf rolled us over so he was between my legs and he forcefully pinned my arms above my head by my wrists. God, I fucking loved it when he took control like this. "Tell me your mine." He growled out, breaking the kiss. His eyes stared hungrily into mine and my heart for some reason throbbed. I felt like there was something missing between us and I could feel the wolf inside me cry as he tried to connect with my mates', but it was impossible – it was as if there was a brick wall between us. I wished to imprint on him so damn hard, though nothing came of it.

There was no doubt in my mind that I was his, but I was terrified that he might not be mine. "I'm all yours, Paulie."

My wolf leaned down and pressed his lips to my neck. "And, what are you?" He ground out between sensual nips.

"Your angel." I replied while rubbing my sensitive shaft against him in wanton.

"Good boy." He cooed as he teased me with feather light kisses around my neck and jawline. I couldn't really explain why I love it when he says that, which has only been a time or two prior. He never said it in a demeaning manner; he sounded affectionate, tender, loving, and somehow it made me feel special. I was pleasing him, and all I wanted was to make Paul happy. "I think I should make you cum."

"Why?" I breathed, not that I was disagreeing.

"Because I want you in my mouth." I happened to quite like this answer.

"I want to be in your mouth."

Paul looked at me and wickedly smiled. "Do you?" He asked in amusement.

I cutely smiled. "Yeah, suck me."

My wolf leaned back and sat up on his knees. "Ask nicely, angel." He playfully said. "I want to hear you say please."

My smile turned crooked. "Suck me, please."

Paul cocked his head and smiled back at me. "C'mon, you can do better than that." He insisted.

I reached for my aching dick that was demanding attention, yet my wolf batted my hand away – I loved to hate him doing that. "I want to feel your lips, your tongue, your warmth and wetness around my cock, Paulie. Please make me feel good."

"Much better." He replied in approval. "Now, do you want it to last or are we in a hurry?"

I gazed at my wolf then flicked my eyes to my dick. "In a hurry." Definitely in a hurry.

My wolf grinned. "That's what I was hoping." He tucked me back in my boxers and grabbed each side of my pants at the top of them and gently tugged them down my legs along with my underwear as he scooted backward. He threw them over the edge of the bed and immediately positioned himself back between my legs and wasted no time taking me into his mouth.

It didn't take long for Paul to have me nearing my peak with his lips hastily working me and his mouth sucking me into oblivion. My fingers combed through his inky black hair and tugged a little roughly at the short strands and he rewarded me with a low, horny, guttural growl that sent blissful vibrations along my cock. I moaned at the lovely feel of it and slowly began to rock my hips to meet his face halfway. My back began to arch and my head dug into the pillow beneath it. I was so damn close. "Make me cum, Paul..." I breathily demanded as I gripped at his hair so I could push him down and make him take more of me. I'd have never done this on my own volition, it was something he requested I try awhile back and he's loved it ever since. Admittedly, so have I. "God, make me fucking cum."

He moved my weakening legs over his shoulders and he almost painfully gripped my quivering hips as he buried me in his throat only to swallow around my length and repeat the process with absolute fervour. With trembling legs, shaking fingers, and a cry of my mate's name I released into his greedy mouth as my thighs and hands held him in place when his lips reached the hilt so I could ride out the rest of my orgasm in his throat. I couldn't hold back moans or the way all my muscles clenched, the way my heart pounded, that my breath was hard to find, and the fact that the ecstasy Paul so eagerly gave shook me to my core and left me heavy lidded and tired.

I let my hands fall from him and legs to become limp as my pleasure subsided, though that didn't stop my wolf's ministrations. He was determined to get and taste every last drop of my seed. The head of my cock is always overly sensitive just after I've gotten off and what I imagined could be an uncomfortable experience he made perfect – it was like getting a massage after a workout. If there is a God it'd be Paul's mouth, of that I have no doubt.

When my wolf stopped these activities, I understood. I could understand that he couldn't get in the mood while mourning the loss of the vampire he loved as a brother, yet when the kisses vanished and the hugs become null I was extremely upset, especially when he'd shy away from any of my touches. I brought this up almost every time I saw the wolf and his response would always be that I needed to have more respect for James. This I didn't understand at all. How was needing my wolf's affection disrespectful to the memory of our friend?

I hated how Paul acted like he was the only one that lost somebody. He wasn't as insensitive to Eric, but I _couldn't possibly_ understand what my wolf was going through because I spent years teasing James when he was human, mind and body. Apparently that meant I didn't properly love my friend. He treated Emily the same way... she couldn't possibly have cared much for James if she was able to fuck his older brother despite the stress between the two. Somewhere along the lines I had fallen out of the loop since that information failed to reach my ears – at the time I had _no_ idea that Eric and her were a thing. I'm sure my face was priceless when I found out uncle Riley was a piece to their puzzle. I wasn't completely oblivious to the three of them. I'd seen them all flirty together, but I never thought it went as far as sex. I mean, I knew their _time_ at the hospital way back when, so I was a little suspicious when it came to the she-wolf and vamp, though I always tossed the thoughts aside – turns out I probably shouldn't have done that.

I honestly didn't put much care toward the three's situation. It was weird, and even though both boys insisted they had good intentions I wasn't convinced. I could handle uncle screwing her over, but if Eric did that it would be messy. I wouldn't know how as a alpha to handle it. Paul took being a beta seriously, or maybe from time to time he was just bossy because he loved to share his opinion that he thought I should order Emily to stay away from Riley – that's what he would do he said. I contemplated it for a little while, though decided it really wasn't an alphas place to meddle in his wolves' personal lives. Paul was far from pleased.

The time I saw Eric and Paul together before we had to go get the wolf from his hotel room they had gotten in a huge argument. I was exceptionally glad Emily wasn't there considering one of the things my wolf yelled at Eric was, "Do you enjoy making such a good girl look like a whore?" Paul tended to bother Emily about needing to choose who she wanted to be with, and surprisingly enough he always pushed her toward Eric, despite the fact that he was James' brother. I asked him why Eric, and he replied by telling me Katie needs a mother, plus Riley is a perverted little creep. Though, Paul did say he liked my uncle, just not for Emily.

My wolf was quick to defend Eric when I said I was worried he was using her to get his rocks off. He claimed that the alpha was harmless... yeah, _harmless_. I loved him dearly, but I knew just how much harm Eric was capable of. Paul also went on to say that Eric has expressed many times over just how much he adores Emily right down to her messy pony tails, band tees, and baggy ripped jeans. He even said the alpha wolf loves her. I had a long talk with Eric later that day and he confessed to being overwhelmingly confused. Just like he had told Paul he admitted to me that he loved Emily, but the affection he felt for Riley was confusing.

He confessed that he loved Riley just as much as the she-wolf. He didn't crave my uncle the same way he did Emily. When he thought of Emily all he felt was tons of love and lots of lust, yet when it came to Riley all he wanted was to hold him, love him, care for him, and as of lately give him little kisses on the lips. It pretty much just reminded me of how they used to be, but instead of bloodsucking they kissed on the lips. Unlike Paul I told him if those two genuinely made him happy then don't let anybody tell him different. Yeah, I thought it was strange in epic proportions, yet just because I thought it was odd didn't mean it was wrong. I didn't get it, per se, I didn't understand why you'd want to two be with two people and share both of them. I liked having my Paulie all to myself and being all his – I refuse to have it any other way.

When I felt like I was losing him I was scared, though kept strong. I knew he was hurting and even if he didn't believe I was hurting just as bad as him I was okay with that. I just wanted him to get better and I realize now that I can't expect Paul to always take care of himself. I know that sounds bad, but he needs someone nagging him to stick with it and I think that's exactly what James had been doing for him. James was his rock that kept him steady. I was so ignorant to this all. I had just assumed that my wolf was doing great, that he was getting better and it was only a matter of time until his past was near irrelevant. I wasn't sure if I had ever been so wrong and because of my failings I was forced to do the unimaginable. When we were in Nahuel's car and had gotten moving Paul was quick to fall asleep on Emily's shoulder – it was clear as the light of day that he hadn't slept a wink in forty-eight hours or more. I directed Nahuel where to go and we eventually pulled up in front of St. Jude's medical centre. I really had to think about what I was doing. This was a make or break situation, maybe even both. It could make Paul better, but on the other paw it could break our relationship, not that we really had one at the time. I had to figure out what was right, what was best for Paul, and leave my feelings out of.

With my wolf fast asleep in the back between Emily and Eric I told the three to wait in the car and if Paul were to wake before I was back to keep him seated. I went for a short walk and in the end I decided my wolf needed this... he'd fight tooth and nail, but he needed this. I had him committed, and when the orderlies came to the car to take him away I never in my life felt so much guilt. My Paulie cried so hard as they dragged him away. He kept yelling at me that they'd hurt him in there, he kept asking why I'd do this to him, and all I could say was that he was safe now and that I did it because I love him. The three wolves told me I had done the right thing, yet despised that the right thing felt so awful.

I went with Nahuel later that day to clean out Paul's things from the hotel room and pay for his stay. The things I found in his _second _room only helped me come to terms with my choice. My wolf had, in fact, rented two rooms – the one that I was aware of – the one with all the labels – and another, which the owner said he had there for over a _decade_. I asked how often he came there throughout the years and the owner just shrugged and said at least a couple times a month. That meant he'd been going to the hotel when he said he was in the forest for the entirety of those five years. I then questioned if he knew what was in the room, again he just shrugged and said Mr. Lahote pays and tips well enough that he and the house cleaners happily look the other way and stay out of the room.

I couldn't believe my eyes when Nahuel and I walked in to the little hotel room that barely had enough space for a single bed and a dresser, which had an ancient looking television on it. It was almost as if the walls were made of newspaper, yet once I really looked around they were all clippings stuck to it, and all clippings of Paul's past. There were hundreds of articles pertaining to his court case and just as many black and white pictures of him as a teenage pup appearing utterly lost and distraught. Some of him were in a court room, some were outside where he was surrounded by news reporters and cameras, some I couldn't place, and there was also one coloured picture of him that was randomly placed multiple times throughout the room on the walls, it was his mug shot. His head was hung a little low, and his face was a beautiful copper and clearly smooth – it would appear that he was yet to be able grow facial hair. He already had his strong broad shoulders, but he also had this defiant look in his eyes that I have never seen.

My father has talked to me a few times about what Paul was like before prison. _Funny_, he always mentioned he was funny. A troublemaker. Mischievous, but kind, though constantly managed to get in trouble with the law. Before he joined father's pack he'd been to a juvenile detention centre twice – I didn't ask why; I didn't want to know since I liked thinking the best of my wolf. That's probably a horrible reason, but it was so long ago I really didn't think there was a point in me knowing. Father also said he'd be able to hear my wolf coming with the pack to his bedroom by the loudness of his laugh. Apparently he could even be a bit of a bully, though he never meant any harm by it – his teasing was in fun, but it could go a little too far.

In the hotel room I could see remnants of that person. There were framed pictures by the television and on the windowsill with his arms around a group of young teenage pups that I didn't recognize at all; I figured they must have been friends of his before father came along. He also had school pictures, him with Santa Claws as a small pup at the mall, and plenty with him and his mother. There were old sports trophies scattered around and the comic book themed bedding I had to guess was his. He had a few old toys like small race cars, GI Joe's, and even a plastic Godzilla. There was a dream catcher that hung above his bed along with a few homemade sailboats hanging from the ceiling.

I sat on the end of the bed and picked up the large black leather photo album he had sitting on the corner of it. I placed it on my lap and began to flip through it. It started with him as a newborn pup at the hospital and ended with him around the age of fourteen, yet the unsettling part of it was that every time there was a man in a photograph, presumably his father, the wolf's face was scribbled out with black ink. There had to be at least a hundred photos like that – this took time and concentration. It was eerie in a way. I figured it was his way of erasing his father, but in the end it just seemed creepy.

Nahuel opened a drawer on the old wooden dresser ahead of me as I put the album aside. "What's in there?" I queried.

He lifted up what appeared to be a CD case, though through its clear casing I could see DVD stamped on the front of the silver disk. "Tons of these."

I nodded toward the television that was sitting atop the desk. "Put it on." I instructed. The wolf pressed the on button on the TV where it sat in a little panel on the right side of it which was loud with static and he hit power on the DVD player above it. He clicked eject and when the machine opened there was already a disk in the slot. "Play that, I want to see what he was watching last." I told him. With a slight nod he pushed the disk back in, pushed play, and squeezed on the bed beside me.

Our eyes squinted and we leaned forward when the grainy images appeared. On the top right hand corner of the screen was the date and time in bold white block letters. "I was just a pup back then, only about ten. I'd just been released from prison 'bout a month before this." He informed me and we leaned even closer to the television to get a better look. There were four boxes with separate images, each of them black and white. The first one looked to be a supply room of some sort, maybe medical, the second was a long and empty corridor, and the third and fourth appeared to be a hospital room with multiple beds. The third image pointed toward the hospital room entrance, whereas the fourth was a good view of three beds – the one in the middle occupied. This was very obviously a surveillance video of some sort. I had no damn idea why my wolf would be watching this.

I stared at the sleeping skinny guy on the screen laying in the hospital bed. I could hardly make out his face, which appeared blotchy; he was in a hospital, so bruises maybe? Both arms were above the blankets, the left one with a cast from the elbow down... my eyes squinted even further. "Is the hand with all the IV's being held to the guardrail by handcuffs?" I questioned. I looked over at Nahuel who was staring intently at the screen. "Nahuel?" I said as I waved a hand in front of his face.

He shoved it away and met my curious gaze – he appeared incredibly pale. "Herc, this is Paul." He breathed. "This has gotta be the hospital ward at the prison. I never saw it, but it's gotta be." We both turned our heads as three men in matching attire came onto the second box as they walked down the long hallway. "Those are the fuckin' guards! I'd recognize those pieces of shit any day."

They stopped in front of one of the many doors and seemed to chat to each other for a few quick seconds before one of them opened the double door and walked into the third box on the bottom left hand side of the screen. The two trailed along behind the one and onto the fourth screen. They went straight to my sleeping wolf and the guard in front roughly shook him awake while another tore off his blanket as the third rounded the bed. The second Paul's eyes popped open he was ripped off the bed by his legs and slammed onto his stomach, his face hitting the metal bedside rail his arm was handcuffed to.

My hands came to my mouth while my eyes began to water at the sight I was witnessing. It was one thing to hear about it, yet completely another to actually _see_ it – there was no sound on the video, though I didn't need it; I could imagine. Just as the guard pushed Paul's pants down his hips and released himself from his own Nahuel got up with a loud growl and snatched the DVD player from above the TV and hurled it across the room, smashing it against the wall and very effectively turning off the video.

He went to the drawer full of DVD's next and pulled it from its slot, dropped it between us, and with a startling shout his worn leather booted foot came crashing down on the lot of them. "Fuck that prison!" He screamed in a teary eyed rage causing mine to dry instantly. "Fuck those guards!" He hollered as he continued to crush the discs and their cases into nothing but little bits of plastic. "Why the fuck is he watching this shit?! Why is he doin' this to himself?!" He exclaimed in question as he gazed around the room. "What the fuck is with this goddamn room?!"

I slowly flicked my eyes around the place just like Nahuel was. "I kinda imagine this is what the inside of Paul's head looks like." I mumbled in a murmur.

The wolf whipped his head to the side to view me. "You're exactly right." He said as he plopped back down beside me, his body still trembling with anger. "This is his world." He looked behind us and pointed to the nightstand squished against the wall and bed. It was crowded of photos of me and a glass ornament of a white wolf with green eyes I can remember giving Paul when I was little puppy. "There you are." He said under his breath. I nodded and brought my eyes back to Nahuel and gently brushed away the few tears he accidentally shed in his rage while giving him a small, but comforting smile.

The wolf leaned into me and gave me a friendly and affectionate nuzzle before resting his head on my shoulder with a sigh. "I think it's about time I become your wolf, Herc." He bluntly stated, making my body stiffen and my heart to take off in a gallop.

"What?" I breathed. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to ask this wolf to join my pack, though I never did because I saw the reaction he'd have when Eleazar or Randall would ask... or beg him. The thing about Nahuel, he was a damn flirt when it came to all of us wanting him in our pack. He knew we wanted him and he'd play with us because of it. I use to go through periods of seeing the wolf all the time to barely seeing him at all. He'd get cuddly then back off for a few weeks and when all us alphas were together with him he'd always pick one of us to shower with attention while he hardly noticed the other ones breathing – he wanted us to be jealous; I just know it. He loved playing hard to get and he did extremely well at the game _until_ I caught on I decided _two _could play.

At his parties I'd only pay attention to the wolves without alphas and I'd soon find him coming over to distract me from them. If I didn't text or call for a few days, he definitely would, and I always made sure not to answer one of his calls or texts every once in awhile. This drove him insane and made him all the more eager to see or talk to me. I'd also 'accidentally' brush my hand or shoulder against him if we were walking together, this rewarded me with a strong arm being slung around my shoulders – I typically did this with the other alphas around. It was my way of saying 'Back off _bitches_, the wolf is mine!'. I loved it when they glared and growled at me, I swear I got a semi each time. Yeah, maybe that's a little gross, but every little and _not so little_ bit of me loved making the alphas squirm. It was a friendly rivalry.

Nahuel raised his head from my shoulder and his silvery-blue eyes met my green ones. "I've been thinkin' a lot about this ever since Paul has been in my life, and even the missus says I should just take the plunge 'cause we both like ya so much. I like kickin' it with you and being able to suck back a few beers together – I know that shit won't change if I submit like it would with my bro or Randall. I've seen how you are with your little mismatched pack – a woman, an alpha, and Paul; I think you have no choice but to add me into the mix. I'd fit in perfectly." He gazed at me very seriously. "Admit it, if we were nothin' but dogs you'd have long since pissed on me to mark your territory." There was an extreme amount of truth to that.

I looked away from him for a moment and sighed. "Don't get me wrong, I want you to be one of my wolves, but I don't want you making any rash decisions either." Oh fuck my life, why did have to go and be the good guy now? "You're upset about Paul, you love Paul, and I know you really want to be there for him, yet you can't go making a commitment like this for someone else – it_ has_ to be for you."

Nahuel gave me a big toothy grin. "See that," He said as he gave my shoulder a poke. "_That _is what I love about you. If I said this to either Eleazar or Randall I'd already be theirs, but here ya are lookin' out for my best interest. I trust ya, plus I've spent hours talking to Emily, Eric, and Paul about you and what you're like as an alpha. You don't boss 'em around, they have their freedom, and that's what I want – an alpha that I can call my buddy, my equal; 'cause I don't need a leader. No offence intended here, Herc, but I've got a lot more experience under my belt. I think it'd be a little ridiculous if guidance is what I was seeking from ya." As a regular guy I could understand that, yet as an alpha it was a hell of a blow to my confidence. "If I wanted a mentor and a vicious protector I'd join Randall's pack, and if I wanted an overbearing father figure full of wisdom and insight I'd be with my brother's. I don't want or need either of those things."

I cocked my head a bit as I stared questioningly at the wolf. "So, what exactly is it that you want from me then?" I queried.

"The connection." Nahuel was quick to answer. "Any wolf who says it isn't lonely to be a stray is full of it. I got friends, I got a shit ton of them, but packs are different... they're your second family, and as much as I love the rough and tough world I live in, I like what you've got goin' too. You're a humble and gentle alpha, and I respect that a hell of a lot more than the alternative." He paused for a moment and sighed. "The connection I'd have with Paul is my biggest motivator – the guy just won't open up to me. I want him to be able to see into my head that I've got nothin' but love for him. I get the feeling that since I've got my shit together he feels pretty ashamed he's the way he is, but I didn't go through what he did, I only witnessed a chunk of it and got knocked around a bit." His eyes suddenly softened as he looked away from me and waved around the room. "I want him in my head so he can realize how much it hurts me to see my hero doing this to himself."

"I want you to think about it for a few days." I told him.

The wolf flicked his eyes to me with a confused expression on his face. "Huh?"

"About being in my pack – think about it for a few days."

"I know I want it." He assured.

"Okay," I said with a nod. "Then you'll still want it in a few days from now." Every feeling, every instinct, every molecule inside my body was telling me to order this wolf to phase and submit. Yet, the last thing I ever wanted to be was a regret. I've dreamt for months about calling this wolf mine, though he had to be sure that's what he wanted to be.

Nahuel smiled at me and leaned in to give my cheek a small nuzzle with his. "We'll talk in a few days then." He sounded so sure and I prayed this turned out in my favour. The wolf pulled away while giving my knee a tight squeeze and standing. "How about we box this shit up and get the hell out of here?"

As it turns out my prayers were far exceeded. By the end of the week I had not only one wolf asking to join my back, but two. On a Sunday evening just after getting home from visiting a very teary eyed and distraught Paul who did everything he could to try and convince me to let him leave the facility, even going as far as to say he'd move into the palace – I was having none of it – Nahuel and Eleazar showed up at my door with his large pack in tow. The alpha explained to me that he felt like his brother belonged to him, they were blood, they _had_ to be in the same pack, but if Nahuel insisted on being so stubborn then he was willing to sacrifice a bit of his dignity and settle with just being pack mates. I was beyond dumbfounded; I never thought that even in a million years would another alpha be willing to submit to be, yet here one was.

Eleazar's pack, which had grown by three since I'd met him, so that made twelve, looked anything but happy. His beta who was only about an inch shorter than he, though just as muscular, tattooed, and menacing did nothing but glare hatefully at me, yet his other wolves who many were much smaller and cuter than I avoided eye contact, but were clearly just as peeved. I believed they were under the impression that they were about to lose their alpha – not the case... I hoped.

I was quick to agree to this despite the long faces. I couldn't pass up the opportunity of having two alphas in the pack. I really should have spoken to my wolves beforehand to make sure they were okay with this, excluding Paul, he didn't need to be involved with pack politics at the time. I knew Eric and Emily were cool with Nahuel since they knew well enough how much I wanted him, though I hadn't a clue what their opinion could be on Eleazar, though before I knew it I was out in the palace gardens with all these wolves and a shifted alpha and omega in front of me.

They were both stunning wolves, and both a gorgeous brindle, yet they were easily definable. Nahuel was the smaller of the two and had a lighter brindle coat, whereas Eleazar was quite dark and had the most piercing steel-grey eyes. Once I was stripped and covered in white fluffy fur I went to Nahuel first. I nuzzled my cheek and muzzle into the fur of his neck – I had no intention of trying to steal his pride. I'd be gentle and considerate; I didn't want to hurt or embarrass him. He may be submitting, but in my green eyes that didn't make him any less of a wolf, it just made him _my_ wolf.

Nahuel's bushy tail began to slowly sweep back and forth with excitement as his heart picked up speed. I took a step back to meet his gaze, he caught it for a mere few moments and turned his head to the side to bare his neck to me. With a wolfish purr and one more nuzzle, though this one full of love and respect, I nipped his neck just enough to draw a few drops of blood which I quickly licked away.

As his thoughts began to flutter to my mind his tail began to wag full force._ 'Herc?'_

I pulled back and gave him my best wolfish grin. _'Nahuel?'_

The wolf gave me a big sloppy kiss up my cheek and across my _open_ eye, then followed it up with a giddy yip as he quite literally pranced in a circle around me. _'I can't fuckin' wait to see the look on Paul's furry fuckin' face the next time I phase with him and he'll be able to hear me!' _He stopped in front of me and met my eyes. _'I wanna surprise him... that cool with you?'_ I agreed to that, so long as I was there.

I went to stand in front of Eleazar who towered over me, much like Eric does. He stood tall and proud, though he was clearly hesitant. This went against everything he's ever known, yet even with that said he turned his gaze away from mine, neck completely bared, and he gave a low throaty growl as if to say 'get it over with'. I didn't waste any time and sunk my teeth into the side of the alphas neck. I did it a lot harder than I did with Nahuel, but maybe with Eleazar I felt like I had a little something to prove. I by no means hurt him, though I wasn't gentle either, that is, until I cleaned his wound. Feeling brave and bold I buried my face into the shaggy fur of his neck while his deep rumbling voice of his heavy thoughts entered my mind, yet while I started to nuzzle him him his head began to lower so I could rub my cheek against his... not because I needed to, but because he wanted me to, and with such a small trivial bit of affection his thoughts became lighter and lighter as his eyes slipped closed.

With an overwhelming amount of prying eyes watching Eleazar began to nuzzle me back. He took a small step forward to get closer and delighted little rumbles rolled around in his chest as he told me having an alpha felt a lot better than he thought it would; he said he didn't feel weak or like his masculinity was threatened, instead he felt comforted. When he'd finally had his fill he stood, shook out his fur and trotted over to his pack. I was actually terrified that he'd lost his connection with them, but was happily proved wrong when they all phased to join us... granted it was extremely loud since I could hear them all too; so could Nahuel. If I wanted to, which I didn't, I had the capability of ordering them around, though I vehemently promised never to because they were _not _my wolves, they were Eleazar's, and this was proven very true when he was able to still give them orders. Also, a thing I found nifty was the fact that when he phased back to human form neither me nor Nahuel could hear them – the alpha was my only connection to his sweet little wolves. They really were; adorable too. Once they were sure they still had their alpha they settled and their thoughts turned apologetic for being _so _rude to me. I insisted they hadn't been rude, not even remotely – I genuinely really liked them all; although, when it came to his beta he seemed to distrust me. I firmly believed he thought I'd get in the way of what they had going on; I swore otherwise, but that didn't seem to matter much to the wolf. I figured I'd prove myself in time – I may be a prince, but I'm perfectly capable of sharing. Plus, with a pack of his own I didn't think the alpha even belonged to me much. In my head he was ninety percent theirs and ten percent mine. I thought this was fair.

As usual time continued to tick on by and for the few first months of Paul's treatment he wasn't making much in the way of progress, though Emily and Eric were very happy about our _three_ new additions which my wolf was oblivious to. It was hardly a week after Eleazar joined my pack that he brought over a very curious old boy, Randall. After about a month of very intense conversations with and without his pack present he decided he wanted the connection he could have with Eleazar and Nahuel. I believe I was used as the middle man in this situation, though once a few months came and passed Randall had really begun to like my company and enjoyed many a wolfish snuggle. I loved all my alphas, I truly did, and I thought it was positively adorable how Randall and Eleazar always snuck my affections when their packs weren't around and if they couldn't resist when they were they tried to act as manly and dominant as possible. Sorry boys, but it's hard to look manly when you're snuggled up to a furry gay prince who's cleaning behind your floppy ears with kisses – it just doesn't work that way. Although, Eric was absolutely shameless when it came to my attention and he was quite happy to fight for it. I loved the angry growls of warning when either of the other alphas came near – my very first alpha wolf was a possessive one and he wasn't willing to share me when he wanted to be doted on.

Like I said, I love them, they are such a treat to have and Eric really comes to life when the two are around. I think it's a huge confidence boost for him to have other alphas part of the pack. I don't see them nearly as much as I do Emily, Nahuel, Eric, and Paul, who I was still having to visit at the hospital, but of course they had their packs to tend to. I liked it though, loved it really, and things would have been perfect if only Paul and Jamie were around to be part of it all.

With a larger pack it was easier to keep myself busy, especially with all the cousins – Eleazar and Randall's wolves – and for a few hours a day I might find solace and I wouldn't be worrying about Paul or feeling guilty about James. I got together with the cousins – I couldn't really call them pack brothers since they were only an extension of my pack – as much as I could. I felt it was my duty to get to know everybody, and not that it's any surprise, but I got along with the smaller wolves the best, mainly because we had a lot more in common. I loved hearing about their girlfriends, family, and school. Many of them were young; one pup was only thirteen, the tiniest of the bunch and he already has an imprint, and the most gorgeous one at that. She's small, smaller than him and the same age; all they do is hold hands and make googly eyes at each other. It's honest to god one of the most beautiful things I have ever witnessed – their life is going to be so full of love, you look at those two and you can just feel it.

Maybe they're stuck in my head because I'm jealous. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I am. I wish things were that easy for Paul and I. Instead my wolf is locked away in a mental institution – I don't even want to get into the look on my dad's face when he found out. It's ironic really, as soon as my dad makes an effort to be good to Paul, Jamie loses it, dad takes his revenge, which evidently pushed my wolf over the edge and into the deep end. My dad doesn't even feel guilty, it's obvious, and it's actually sickening because he should be. In all the months Paul has been away he hasn't once asked how he is doing – as least father has the decency to do such. Then again, maybe my dad finally realized that my wolf was never going to forgive him and if Paul still had that little list of his going I'm sure he'd be on it.

_Anyway_, all this rambling leads me to now, the present. It was already April, only two months away until my nineteenth birthday. Paul had been hospitalized since September and as I said earlier it took a few months to see any improvement. At first he didn't take any of the doctors and staff seriously, he thought the place was a joke and more often than not he'd try and manipulate me into letting him out. I felt bad, but I made it very clear to the staff that my wolf wasn't allowed phone privileges, except for the numbers I gave them that they could dial for him. I thought he might have been desperate enough to contact my parents to see if they'd get him out – I doubted they would, though who really knows with them.

In the beginning I desperately wanted to order Paul let the hospital help him, yet I knew he needed to learn to help himself. I was willing to nag, nag, nag, but I wasn't willing to do it for him. It was only once he realized just how serious I was and how he really wasn't going to get out unless he got the help he desperately needed did he actually begin to use the services provided for him. Just like when he began going to Esme there was almost an immediate improvement, though I knew better this time – just because he looked and acted well didn't mean he was. I learned that he's a really good faker. When James was still here I thought things between Paul and I were amazing, yet they couldn't have been, not if he was going to that _torture_ room at the hotel a few times a month. I had no idea just how much he was struggling, which actually pisses me off because it wasn't like I didn't ask him how he was doing and feeling. I know now he's good at telling me what I want to hear. He'd make it sound like everything was going perfect in his life, except from time to time he'd say things would bother him, sometimes he'd get upset, the rare day would be difficult to get through, yet I _never_ saw any of this. He told me he was breakable, but I never could have known just how breakable he was.

Because I knew these things now I'd do everything within my power to make sure this never happened again. I made sure he had the best doctors, best meds, and best care the kingdom had to offer. I'm the prince I had all the resources, I just had to learn how to use them, and I did. I flew specialists to him, and I even had his floor stripped bare and remodelled, because seriously, it was gross. I of course felt guilty after that and had the rest of the hospital done; they couldn't have just _one_ nice wing. My father literally spat as he screamed at me when dad informed him of all the money I spent and was continuing to spend on Paul and the hospital. I had to say, no shits were given on my part. Parts of the floor was seriously being held together by duct tape and father should have gotten my wolf this help the day he left prison, so as far as I was concerned he could go fuck himself, which he tends to be doing a lot lately since dad won't fuck him – that was just another unpleasant conversation I overheard between him and grandpa Seth.

By the time January rolled around Paul was all over me when I'd visit and I thanked whoever made me be born a prince since rules do not apply to me, laws do, but rules, _ha_, nope! In my wolf's private room we'd fool around long past visiting hours and into the night. Everything about his body and touch was just as I remembered and having gone months without either I was putty in his grasp. His mouth was far more glorious than I could ever recall and his hands were magic on my skin, yet on February first, a date I'll never forget, things suddenly shifted between us.

Paul was between my legs, his cock to mine, and his teeth roughly nipping at my neck so when I left his room everybody on the way out of the hospital would see just who I belonged to. My legs were tightly wrapped around his waist and my needy thrusts matched his both in fervency and speed. My moans were much louder than they should be in a place like this and his muscular back was damp with a thin layer of sweat beneath my palms. I wasn't sure if the humping felt as good as I thought it did or I was just getting off on the fact that this position reminded me so much of sex.

"Talk dirty to me." I breathily requested. I wanted desperately to cum and dirty words in his voice seemed to do the trick.

My wolf gave a little growl and kissed his way along my jawline as he raised his head so he could look into my eyes. "You like my cock, don't you?"

I nodded slightly. "Yes." I breathed. "I love it."

He gave me a brief smile and nuzzled his temple to mine. "I bet your ass would love it more." God, he said this so huskily, so surely, like he _knew_ that it would... like my entrance was built for him, and him alone. I swore that it was and I swore no bit of me would appreciate that part of him more.

"Fuck, Paulie, I want it so badly." I vehemently huffed out.

A hand of my wolf's ran up the side my thigh to grip my ass and the speed of his thrusts against me increased. "Do you need it?" He murmured.

"God, yes!" I breathlessly exclaimed.

Paul groaned as he rolled off of me and onto his back. His dark skin contrasting beautifully with the white sheets, though he left me a whimpering and quivering mess beside him. He brushed his right hand over his balls, up his large erect shaft, and over the weeping slit at the very tip of it. "How about a sample..." He suggested, though I was unsure what he meant and turned my head to catch his eyes while I quirked a brow in question. "A taste tester if you will." I sat up and gave him a puzzled look which he smirked at. "Suck my cock, angel."

My eyes just about bulged right out of my face – I'm certain it was incredibly unattractive. "Are you sure?"

My gorgeous wolf grinned up at me while he lazily stroked himself. "I wouldn't have said it if I wasn't." I had to have asked him about thirty more times after that to be on the safe side. I was salivating at just the thought of his dick in my mouth – I had wanted this for a long time, but I had long since shoved it to the back of my mind and forced myself not to think about it; much like I did with sex. I figured both things would happen eventually, maybe not in this century, but I knew they would happen. Yet, I never could have guessed he'd be interested in oral so soon and in a place like this... it was kind of hot actually.

I positioned myself between his legs as he propped his head up on some pillows. "No teasing, okay." Paul told me, his heart loudly thumping in his chest. "I'm really nervous... I just want to get to it... and if I tell you to stop-"

"I'll _stop_." I assured him.

"Good." He breathed. "So, nothing fancy."

I quietly laughed. "Not a problem, I've never done anything like this before."

Paul gave me a devilish and bright eyed smile. "Better not have." He said with a playful little growl. "Now be a good boy and please your dominant."

"What?!" I asked with a bark of laughter.

My wolf blushed. "We're role playing."

My brows rose. "Are we?"

"Yes, it's very sexy, or at least in my head it is. Can we try it?" I had absolutely no objections, but this was so out of character for Paul. Sure, he was a horny wolf when he was in the right state of mind, but role playing? Him my dominant? Where did he come up with this?

I nodded. "Sure. Set the scene."

He smiled happily and eyed me lasciviously. "Okay, it's simple. I'm the dominant; that means you do as I say, how I say, when I say. You're not alpha, I am."

"So, what am I then?"

Paul smirked. "My slutty little virginal submissive that can't get the thought of his dominant's cock out of his mind. You want me to fuck you... badly, you're aching for it, but you've got to be a good boy and earn it." He flicked his eyes to his engorged member. "You can start by sucking that." Was I completely nuts for thinking this was the craziest, yet most sexually exciting thing ever? If my wolf wanted me to be a slutty little sub, then by god that's what I'll be and I will certainly love every second of it! "Now!" He snapped at me.

I fought to hide a giddy smile and scrambled to get comfortable between his legs. I leaned down and circled my hand around his penis and was just about to put him in my mouth, but... "Hold it like you fucking mean it." He barked at me, making me startle. "Wait, no..." He hurriedly said right after. "Fuck, shit, I'm sorry, Ryan. I shouldn't be mean even if we are just playing around."

I let go of him and sat back up so I could meet his gaze. "Paul, it's fine. If this gets you off then let's do it."

He shook his head. "Being a dick doesn't get me off it's the power behind it. I want to be in charge, in control, and I want my imprint, my submissive, to do as I say so he pleases me right, but he also has to like it... love it actually. He has to want to please his dominant in every way. If he doesn't then I don't want any part in this."

I carefully crawled up Paul's body to hover over him and I ducked my head so I could nibble at the lobe of Paul's ear. "But, _master_," I whispered by his ear. "I live for pleasing you."

My wolf growled approvingly at my words while he glided his hands down my bare sides and over the curve of my ass. "Mmm..." He hummed while I ghosted a hand along his shaft and rolled my thumb over the wet tip. "Such a good submissive."

I smiled against his cheek. "You taught me well." I murmured, my warm breath causing little bumps to rise and small hairs to stand on end.

Again I was rewarded with a growl and he brought a hand to my cheek to guide my lips to his. I acted shy and unsure of myself, so he nipped and sucked at my lips until I felt I should have the confidence to reciprocate. I kissed him tenderly, though with barely parted and shaky lips. His tongue easily slipped passed them, colliding with mine, and once I could taste him there was no holding back. My wolf was too perfect... too tantalizing. I pressed my lips harder to his while my tongue ravished his, yet I was quickly denied and he turned his head away. "You're such naughty submissive... so eager." His tone was teasing, both to my ears and my cock.

"Master," I breathily quavered as I gazed into his eyes. "You have no idea what you do to me."

"No? How about you show me then." He said while giving me gentle and downward push by my shoulders, and once lower he steered my head toward his dick.

I timidly flicked my eyes to Paul's. "I want to taste it."

My wolf licked his lips. "Where are my imprint's manners?" He queried.

"Please, let me pleasure you, master." I practically begged, my bottom lip protruding in the tiniest amount. To be honest his penis looked intimidating, especially so close up and personal and I wasn't quite sure how to go about fitting it into my mouth – I was terrified of scraping him with my teeth.

Paul inhaled a deep breath as I watched the vein in his neck throb and listened to the sound of his heart beating thunderously. "Mmm yes, make me feel good, angel." I didn't hesitate for a moment and wrapped my warm hand around his warmer cock. Testing the waters I swirled my tongue around the head which caused him to let out a hiss of breath and for his hands to dart toward me. Before he could touch me I took him into my mouth and closing my lips around him, making his hands pause and turn to fists as they hovered my head as he squeezed his eyes shut. "Fuck fuck fuck." He cursed, and for a moment I thought he wasn't liking what I was doing so I went to pull away, yet his fingers uncurled and lost themselves in my cropped hair. "So goddamn great..." He breathed while he opened his eyes and caught mine.

I blushed at having him see me with his dick in my mouth. It was hot, but nerve wracking. I pulled his cock from my mouth and gave him a ghost of a shy smile. "Can you help me, master?" I questioned with my lips and breath gently brushing over his leaking tip. "I need guidance."

My wolf gazed at me fondly. "Put me back in your mouth, submissive." I did as I was told and with his hands he raised and lowered my head at a slow pace he enjoyed. "Move your hand in tandem with the bob of your head." He confidently instructed, and I did just that. "Squeeze tighter and press your tongue flat to my... oh god!" He groaned as I flattened my tongue along his shaft while I sucked. He loved it.

With the guidance of Paul's hands and the rocking of his hips it was easy to get into a steady rhythm of things and every now and then he'd give me a pointer that would make him shake and shiver in delight while he moaned how greatly his sub would be rewarded for this. The closer he neared his climax the sexier he seemed to get – _by god_, it took everything I had to not pounce and ravish his body with mine. My cock couldn't stand the way he bit his bottom lip to hold back his loudest moans; I wanted to hear exactly what I was doing to him, plus I wanted those rosy lips parted so I could imagine myself between them. I ran my free hand along my wolf's tense abs to feel each wave of muscle as his legs began to tremble while his fingers clenched my hair so firmly I thought he might end up yanking out clumps of it. Yes it was painful, yes it was fucking hot – it was such an extreme turn on knowing that he was enjoying himself so much that he couldn't help it.

His heart picked up a notch and his brows furrowed. "Oh god... I'm gonna cum." He warned me while dropping his hands from hair to my shoulders in effort to push me away from him. I was having none of it, this was finally my opportunity to taste my mate, yet as he struggled to remove himself from my mouth I decided the worst thing I could to do was to force him into something sexual he didn't want, despite the fact that I knew he'd damn well love it.

I released him from my mouth, but it was far too late for him to get a clean escape. He stopped mid-motion, halfway between sitting and lying down with his eyes squeezed closed and hands tightly gripping my shoulders while he let out a moan of ecstasy that was music to my ears as he came. Tremors rocked his body, though I was locked in place, hand firmly pumping him as he revelled in his orgasm, causing his fluid to hit my lips and cheek as I turned my head away from it. I, of course, didn't mind – if anything I wanted to lick my lips to taste him, but I didn't dare in fear that it would upset my wolf.

With the last remnants of Paul's bliss fading he collapsed back on the bed with his arms falling to his sides while I sat up. He let out a breathy chuckle. "Goddamn, that was exactly what I needed." He quietly mused. Slowly he peeled his eyes open and flicked them my way – they widened immensely and look of horror donned his face as he caught the sight of mine. He darted upright and snatched up the first thing his hand could reach which happened to be the white sheet of his bed.

Paul swiped it across my full pink lips, though stopped at the right corner of them. "Does my beautiful," He paused to kiss my clean cheek. "And handsome little submissive," He paused again to kiss my forehead. "Feel as demeaned as he looks?"

"No, master. I only wish I could have tasted you." I answered honestly.

"Hmm..." He hummed as if in deep thought. "I did say that you would be rewarded for being such a good boy."

I shyly smiled and gave my head one little nod. "It's my dream to have your cock inside me." I whispered while I timidly eyed him.

My wolf chuckled and shook his head. "So, _so_, naughty." He teased. "But, submissive, you must earn the things you want. Do you really think one _great_ blow job from _you _is equal to sex with _me_?" I fervently shook my head no as my dick ached between my legs. I could really get used to this role playing thing – I loved an egotistical and controlling Paulie when it came to this sexy stuff.

He smiled and gazed fondly at me as he dropped the sheet from his hand. "Your reward..." He softly cooed while he gathered the cum off my cheek with his index finger. He pressed his digit to my lips and I greedily parted them to let him enter. I swirled my tongue around his finger, though I hardly had time to register his flavour before he was pulling it from my mouth and smashing his mouth to mine with a growl and his teeth salaciously nipping.

If I thought it was hard for Paul to keep his hands off me before, after that day it was nearly impossible. I swear each time I came to visit him I could feel him eyeing me from the lounge on his ward as I walked across the parking lot. Once I was in front of him, he had no shame, none, and I'd constantly be trying to shove him off of me while trying to get updated by his doctors. It was cute and funny at first, but it quickly got annoying. I mean, I loved it, but it was hard to have a conversation with someone when Paul's erect cock was digging into my backside with his arms around my chest as his mouth had his way with my neck. By the middle of March everybody had had enough of him and dubbed him well enough to leave, yet my wolf opted to stay until the end of April. I was actually so proud of him when he chose to do this – we both wanted him out of that place, though he had become determined to never have a repeat experience of this.

It was only days away from his release date and I was becoming more and more nervous. Paul believed he'd be staying at Nahuel's until he either rented or bought a new place for himself, but that wasn't the case at all – I had a huge surprise for him, two actually, but one I was too anxious to even think about.

After I had him hospitalized I realized that _I_ _am_ the alpha, I'm his leader, his protector, his provider, and really needed to start acting like it. I know he wanted to be the one that took care of me and provided for us and our future family, and maybe one day I'd let him, but for now and many years pending he was my responsibility. Mind you, this will _never_ stop us playing in the bedroom – I dearly loved him being the alpha in there.

I've always dreamt about living in a modest house like the one Paul had owned, yet with larger pack and two of my members having packs of their own I wanted a place for my wolf and I that would fit everybody. After that I started dreaming big and I couldn't believe my own actions when I signed a few papers and handed over way too much money, thus becoming a home owner. Yeah, me, Ryan Black... a home owner. If vampires could have a stroke I do believe my dad would have had one when he received the monthly invoice of my banking records – I bet he just about shit ice cubes when he saw over ten million missing.

Yeah, so I splurged a little. I said I was dreaming big. Also, that was just the price before I gutted the place... well, me and a ton of help. The house before was way too... how can I eloquently put this, old people-ish. I may have some feminine characteristics, though liking flower bordering in my bedroom wasn't one of them. Everything took a little longer than I anticipated considering everybody has a life but myself. I was free to work on it whenever, but plenty of days went by where nobody else could. I was perfectly capable ripping out carpet and knocking down a few walls, yet when it came time to install things like kitchen cabinets I was a little lost. To be honest I was never going to be the craftsman I wanted to be; even with Nahuel's teachings I was pretty much doomed. I was plenty good at the destructive part, however the constructive... no, not so much. That's not to say I was completely useless, I had found two things that I surprisingly had a knack for – plumbing and electrical. It was like a sixth sense once Nahuel introduced me to it. I don't want to brag or anything – yes I do – but I can do any job in half the time that wolf can. So, when it came to that sort of stuff in the house it took me no time and I actually somewhat enjoyed it. Yet, with that said, I could never be like Paul and find solace in doing house repairs for _hours_; I could certainly get shit done, though.

As much as I loved my new home I mainly bought the house for the property. I was the proud owner of over thirty acres of woodland surrounded by mountains with a river running right through_ my_ backyard. In a way _owning_ it was slightly redundant considering my parents technically owned the whole entire kingdom. I guess it was the meaning behind the word that mattered to me. The place was mine, though more importantly mine _and_ Paul's. It was going to be our first and hopefully our last home together. Everything I did with the house I did with him in mind. I know he wanted a small home, but I just didn't see how that was possible, not with my wolves and not with theirs, and especially not with the idea of a future family in mind. As much as my Paulie wanted to give me my dream life, I wanted to give him his. He wanted a large family and so long as he'd get up early to be with the pups while I slept in I was okay with it... in a decade or two. This was a perfect family home. I made sure of it, and in only a few short days I prayed he'd agree with me. It was big, but it was also beautiful and I hoped he thought so too.

I was yet to move into the place even though it was finished and furnished. I wanted my first night there to be with my wolf. Everything of mine I wanted there was already moved in however, and I stocked Paul's side of the closet with clothes I was certain he'd like and wear. The place was waiting for us, it even had two toothbrushes, floss, and toothpaste in the master bath. I was dying to start my dream life, yet as I'm sure it's easy to guess, my parents weren't so thrilled. My dad typically kept his mouth shut on the matter – he didn't even wring me out over all the money I'd spent; he only asked what I was up to and that was that. As far as I know he didn't tell father that I had bought the house considering nothing was ever mentioned.

They both really wanted to see the place, though I felt an extreme loyalty to Paul and only showed them pictures. My wolf wouldn't ever allow either them in his home... this was _our_ home and I felt obligated to do what I knew he'd want. This pissed my father off to no end and he threatened time and time again he'd go there anyway – he hasn't yet and I hope it stays that way. Neither of my parents want me to leave the palace and both would much prefer if Paul would just suck it up and move into the palace. Dad seemed to understand that was never going to happen, though father seemed to think if I held out long enough he would, since he can't possibly deny what his imprint wants forever. Yeah, _right_, Paul is that master at saying no to me. Besides, I would never use the imprint to manipulate him... _for most things_. If I want to cum and all he does is tease I might pull that card out. Never works, but I try.

Father doesn't seem to get that one of the many reasons why I'm moving out of the palace to be with Paul is so I don't have to live with _him_. Once again dad understands; he's well aware that I can hardly look at either one of them, especially him because of what they did to James. He used to try, even apologize for what he'd done, but as the months passed and time lead to now, he knows that he lost me. I don't bother to be kind or respectful seeing as I just don't have it in me anymore. I don't think most people do. Riley is bitter about the time he spent locked away along with dad killing Eric's little brother and spends his time as far away from my dad as he can get. My sister makes us look like angels, and for the most part I can't stand her. Don't get me wrong, I love her to bits, but I can't stand her at all.

She calls dad by his name to prove a point. I'm not entirely sure what that point is; her lack of respect I guess. She used to be close with dad – the apple of his eye – but as she grew, and quickly at that, I don't think she appreciated just how much of a prick he is. Rachel appears sixteen and according to doctors she won't age any more. She acts older than sixteen however, or maybe mentally she is, I couldn't say; I've never been good with this science stuff and doctors always seem to be poking and prodding at her to come up with the latest theory as to why she is the way she is. It feels like overnight I lost my baby sister, one day she was cute, small, and full of love and life. Now, she is nothing but angry and pissed off at the world. She'd kill me if I said this, but she's _just_ like dad, or the pre-burnt one at least... the man she hates most. I suppose she has her reasons for disliking him, though I'm far from aware of them. She never talks to me. I went from the worlds best big brother to the best worst enemy; she claims that I'm our parents favourite, that I'm spoiled, and that I can literally get away with murder.

Maybe I'm spoiled, but so is she, and maybe I did get away with murder awhile back, yet she gets away with _all_ her bad behaviour as well. If I ever told dad to go fuck himself he certainly wouldn't _walk away_ like he does with her. Father tries to discipline her, though dad always undermines whatever he does and gives her whatever she wants. My parents fight a lot about that, and her in general. I know she likes causing strain on them. She does these little things, ask things of dad that she knows will get father angry with him. I've also heard her say some small off handed comments to father incriminating dad – some of them being outright lies. It was just last week that she came bursting into the family room teary eyed and seemingly distressed while father and I were playing video games with his pack while gramps tutted at our nonsense. She claimed she'd seen dad kissing the guy he was supposedly in a meeting with in his office; she even showed the both of us what she saw. I didn't buy it, I screwed with my thoughts and pictured certain things to keep dad appeased – I figured she could do the same thing using her power. Unfortunately, father can be an insecure idiot and needless to say there went the partner for the three new children's hospitals dad wanted to build up north.

Father _had_ to throw punches first and ask questions later – he sure felt like a fool once everything was said and done. Dad was devastated that Rachel would lie about something like that, and she clearly did it just to sabotage the meeting which he'd really been looking forward to. It's often hard for me to feel sorry him, yet that day I did, especially when Rachel said she's praying for the day father finally grew balls, manned up, and left the leech. That one line made all her actions make sense; she wanted dad gone and she was happy to give father reason for it. I'm yet to figure out how things changed so drastically between them, it felt like just yesterday dad was her world. She used to be daddy's little princess... now she's daddy's little nightmare.

* * *

_Point of View: Edward_

I was currently sitting in the dining room – _alone_ – praying for some company, though each person who caught sight of me as they walked into the room with their plate of lunch instantly and less than subtly turned around and went off to eat in the family room; even my own son had done this to me. I shouldn't be surprised, not by now at least. I keep telling myself that one day Ryan will see me for what I really am, which is not the monster most seem to have me pegged as. I could hardly argue otherwise, I know I've done some bad things, yet nothing horrendous enough to earn me that title; sometimes I certainly feel it, and now even look it, but I don't want to believe it.

I crossed my arms over the table, the lack of feeling in them something I'd never get used to, and laid my head atop of them. I closed my eyes and imagined myself a kid again, when things were perfect, when I was just Jacob's slave. I still got so say I loved him, and still got to play dad, the only difference was that I was owned instead of married. I'd go back to being owned any day. People always felt sorry for you, they pitied you. I'd rather be pitied than hated. I didn't have any responsibilities either... not compared to what I do now at least. All I had to do was sit there and be pretty for my prince turned king, yet I had go and fuck it all up by opening my big mouth and wishing for freedom. Apparently I have it now, but I can't find it. Where's freedom is the question of the day... decade. I certainly don't fucking see it anywhere, never have. I don't have any of it, Paul certainly doesn't either, and don't even get me started on James fucking Yorkie. We're all doomed souls, some by our own ruthless doing or by ruthlessness of others. Maybe I don't have the right to lump myself in their category, but I've got to fit in somewhere, don't I?

Startling me back to my senses was my phone vibrating. I yearned for it be my husband calling to hear my voice and tell me he was on his way home, though I knew better since I could hear him loud and clear arguing with a judge down at the courthouse. I sat up with a sigh and pulled the cell from the oversized pocket of the sweats I wore. "Edward Black." I answered.

"Hello, your grace, it's Carlisle Cullen speaking." The doctor informed me.

"Ah, yes, Carlisle, I've been expecting your call. Have you met with the young man I requested?"

I heard the doctor inhale a breath on the other end of the line. "Yes, and I'm afraid it is not looking well for the vampire."

I furrowed my brows. "I'm sorry, but I don't understand. This is exactly what the warden had told me – is he being properly nourished?" I queried.

"No, your grace. I attempted to get him to feed, though he is very distressed. He is incredibly distrustful, and as expected, fretful. I wanted to insert a feeding tube into his nose, but his nasal passages are blocked and unsurprisingly he won't let me put anything into his mouth, let alone down his throat."

"What do you mean his nasal passages are blocked?" I asked in confusion.

"All his senses are, my king. I'd advise keeping him blind, though I feel complete sensory deprivation is nothing short of torture for the vampire. I understand his crime, but-"

"No no, I was unaware of this. I gave the warden permission to do what was necessary to keep other inmates and guards safe from him. Have you seen his records, has he attacked anybody?"

"Nothing but a few blown fuses, you highness."

"And how is he kept?"

"Restrained at all times."

"This won't do at all." I sighed in annoyance. "The whole point of him being there is to be rehabilitated, yet I fear this will only have the opposite effect."

"I believe your fears are correct, my king. Volturi Penitentiary is not the place for a vampire like him; he needs special care."

"Yes, but it's the only decent prison my husband doesn't keep tabs on." I complained.

"Have you thought about transferring the vampire to purgatory?" Carlilse questioned. "I haven't seen his majesty down there in years. The vampire would be safe; you know the guards in purgatory are loyal to you. Word of him being held would never reach the ears of your husband."

"Yes, I've contemplated it many times over, but I'm worried the guilt of having a huge deception living beneath my feet might be too much for me. I gave Jacob my word that my lies were in the past." Old habits die hard, I guess. "My son... Paul... even Eric, I couldn't hurt them. My husband wanted justice for the imprint he fell for, yet I never for a second believed the vampire deserved to die for the imprint I'd become. I just... Jake would have never let it go – he would have killed James Yorkie himself if he didn't think I did it. He believes he saw his ashes... if he found out I spared the vampire's life... set the whole thing up..."

"I understand your concerns, your grace, but it would be such a waste if he were to starve to death after you went through all that trouble for him."

"He can't die; I'd never forgive myself." I explained to him and I sighed while running my hand through my hair. I didn't want the stress this would bring, but... "I'll have him transferred."

* * *

_You didn't actually think I would kill off James did you?_


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter Fifty-five  
**

_Point of View: Edward**  
**_

It took a lot of mental convincing that I was doing the right thing by coming down to the hospital where Paul was staying to visit with him here on his last day. I've done my best to stay out of his business, even going as far as to never ask Ryan about him. Although, I listened rather tentatively when Jake and the puppy spoke about the wolf. It was a struggle not to call the hospital and demand all the information there was on Paul, but I decided against it – if I was going to know anything about his stay I wanted him to be the one to tell me. I've had enough of digging into people's lives where I'm not needed, yet I probably spent too many hours a day hoping that Paul would call me and tell me I was. It was a futile and fruitless waste of hope, but I couldn't seem to help it. I had spent a lot of time with Paul before James lost his temper and I felt like things were finally falling into place.

I still wasn't quite sure if it was the vampire or me who ruined everything. On the one hand if I never did the things to anger him I'd have never been set ablaze, but was that enough to take the blame? I wasn't sure. It doesn't quite matter I don't think. I can't change it. I missed Paul; things were going so well before the fire. I was having fun and I never get to do that; I was even laughing which, for me, was a rare occurrence. Jacob can make me smile, yet Paul can make me laugh so hard it hurts, and it always felt so good to get him going as well – even if that meant making an ass of myself. I missed his laugh, it had a way of igniting this little spark of happiness inside me, plus we'd been in a good place. When I'd gone with him to his therapy sessions on Fridays I had accepted the inevitable; he was going to be with my son no matter how wrong I felt they were for each other. I was okay with this – a vampire slave and a wolf prince never should have been together either, yet here we are, so I just couldn't say what was in store for Paul and Ryan. The wolf had doubted I'd always stay out of their business, but I promised I would back then and I still meant it now. Even though he doubted my word I never could believe how he loved to torture me with his X-rated thoughts of my puppy. I sincerely missed how he could make me pissed off and joyful at the same time. I even missed the names he'd call me in fun, despite how true they were. I missed everything about him. I missed my only friend... the only person that actually understood me from tip to toe.

At least, I thought he understood me. It pained me that everybody thought I had it in me to kill James Yorkie. I knew more than anybody else how badly it would hurt the people close to him – Paul even came to me, he begged not to let James die, and I told him I'd do everything in my power to make sure James' life was spared. I argued with Jacob about it, but I could easily see in his head that there was no stopping James' death. I did what I had to do, it was within my power to make it look like the vampire had been killed by my hand. I had promised my husband I'd never lie to him again – I most definitely meant it at the time and I felt horrible breaking my word so soon, but I truly didn't have any other options. When I was stuck reporting James' 'death' with Jacob I thought for sure, considering our conversation the previous day, Paul would know that I wouldn't lay a finger on James. I tried to stay as neutral as possible and I never outright said that I killed him; my husband sure did, but I didn't. All I said was that I dealt with him, and I did, his life was spared, but everybody went into a rampage and hate Edward mode. I can't fathom how Paul couldn't read between the lines. How can he think I would do that to him after all the time we spent together in and out of therapy? How could he think I would do that to my son? Did I really come off that callous? Judging by the look on Paul's face and the thoughts in his head right now I'd say so.

The wolf and I sat alone in the empty meal room on his ward. I was lucky that he agreed to see me, though not so lucky that he picked a seat by a window with the sun beaming through it. He also sat on the shady side of the two person table so that the large scar on my neck was smothered by the sun. Unlike the rest of me my scars didn't shimmer in the sunlight, instead they appeared an ugly brownish black and burned like I had never left the fire. I could only guess by the way a smirk creased his face as I awkwardly tried to cover my neck, yet only ended up hurting my scarred hand in the process, that he knew. The best I could do was curl my hand into the baggy sleeve of Jacob's hoodie and cover my neck with my arm as well as I could.

"The sun feels nice, doesn't it? It's been rainy all week." I frowned at the first words the wolf spoke to me; I disliked his condescending tone.

"Yes, the rain was getting a bit tiring." I'd at least try to keep things cordial.

The wolf shrugged. "Whatever, doesn't really bother me. My room doesn't even have any windows."

I furrowed my brows. "Why not?" I queried.

He gazed at me intensely. "I might break the glass and slit my wrists with it." He deadpanned. His thoughts gave me no clue as to whether he was screwing with me or not, but I was genuinely concerned.

"You haven't felt suicidal, have you?" I fretfully asked.

His smirk returned. "Wouldn't you like to know?" He smugly quipped. "Then again, I'm sure you have squeezed every bit of information you could out of the staff, so I don't know why you bother asking."

"I didn't do that." I told him.

He quirked a brow. "Yeah, _right_."

"I honestly didn't, Paul."

The wolf let out an amused huff of breath. "Now you just sound desperate for me to believe you."

"That's because I didn't do anything!" I exclaimed, though quietly so.

Paul shook his head in disagreement. "You're a nosey prick, Edward. I'm positive you know more about my stay here than I do."

I shook my head as well. "I really don't know anything."

He rolled his eyes which ended with a stern and angry glare. "Cut the crap, Ed." He snapped at me. "Just tell the goddamn truth for once, it isn't going to kill you."

"But I didn't-"

"Fuck it!" He growled in interruption as he stood to his feet. "It's useless trying to talk to you. Ryan said you've been acting different, but as far as I can tell you're the same person you've turned into years ago. You're incapable of change; want to know why?"

"Yes." I wasn't very well going to say no.

"Because you're a liar," He hissed at me. "And you're so far passed deluded you must be brain dead. I don't know what goes on in that head of yours, but it's nothing short of selfish and insincere." The wolf pointed to his seat and sighed. "If you want me to sit back down and talk to you then tell me the fucking truth; tell me you know everything."

I frowned sadly at the wolf and sighed to myself. "Fine." I breathed. "I know everything." I lied in a desperate attempt to keep him spending time with me. The situation was horribly ironic, but I didn't want to be alone.

"See," Paul said while he sat back on the plastic and metal chair. "Was that so hard?" He chided like I was some little boy.

"No." I mumbled. I guess I kind of felt like one though. This was so ridiculous.

The wolf crossed his arms over the table. "So, why are you here? You know I get out today. Let me guess, you want me to stay away from your precious puppy."

I gave my head a slow shake. "No, but Ryan is one of the reasons I'm here. I want to know if you are aware that he has no intention of coming back to the palace now that you're being released."

His brows pinched together. "This is the first time I've heard anything like it. Why is he leaving? Where is he planning on staying?" He questioned.

"I, uh..." I didn't know what to say without lying immensely. The wolf clearly had no idea about the home Ryan had purchased for the two of them and I really didn't want to spoil the surprise. "He wants to be with you." That wasn't a lie, and I figured I ought to ignore the other question.

"Seriously?" He excitedly queried.

I nodded. "Yes."

"And you're okay with this?"

Again I nodded. "I gave you my word that once Ryan turned eighteen I wouldn't intervene."

"Yeah, but we both know your word means squat."

I looked away from the wolf and out the window to feign interest in the cars driving by on the highway. "I guess..." I wasn't about to argue. I didn't want him to leave.

"It must have been hard for you to say goodbye to him." He said as I counted all the red cars I could see, then the blue. Seven to four.

I shrugged, though kept my eyes out the window. "It will be. He said he'd have his final breakfast with his father and I this morning, but he took off long before Jake was out of bed."

"Oh, well, I'm sure he'll miss you." He didn't believe what he was saying and neither did I.

I flicked my eyes back to him, though couldn't get the nerve to actually meet his gaze and I forced a small smile onto on my face. "Yes, of course, I'm his dad after all." I tried to sound cheery and optimistic despite not being either.

"Not really." Paul grumbled under his breath. I was unbelievably taken aback by his words and how much they hurt me. That puppy is _my_ son – I haven't questioned that since the day I signed his adoption papers, so why did the wolf make it sound like he wasn't? I wrapped my free arm around my middle to hug myself in a pathetic attempt to feel some comfort.

The wolf sighed. "Sorry," He apologized. "I didn't mean that."

I gave him a ghost of a smile because this suddenly felt like progress. If he truly hated me as much as he projected then he surely wouldn't feel the need to apologize for a rude comment. "It's okay." I told him.

He glared at my miniscule smile. "Wipe that look off your face, leech." He spat. I did as instructed and went blank faced. "What else have you come to say?"

I swallowed uncomfortably. "I know I don't have the right to ask anything from you, but I wanted to hear you say that everything was good between you and Ryan... that being in here all this time hasn't changed anything for you two." I casually tried to explain. "You know how I worry."

Paul leaned back in his chair and relaxed. "Things are great between us." He softly answered.

"So, he takes good care of you then?" I questioned.

He nodded and smiled. "Very good; he spoils me rotten, so does Natalie for that matter. She's forever bringing in homemade meals and treats for me. It's nice when Ryan comes with her; I like seeing the resemblance between the two – he's so much like his mother."

I smiled because it felt appropriate. "She speaks very highly of you to Jake." I informed the wolf.

He cocked his head and his brows slightly furrowed. "Not to you, though?" He questioned.

"Oh..." I breathily murmured. "I, uh, well... it's a long story."

Paul raised a brow as he crossed his arms over his ribs. "She doesn't speak to you, does she?"

"No." I breathed with a shake of my head. "Not really."

He quietly chuckled. "Must be pretty fucking awkward at the dinner table."

I shook my head once again. "Mm-mm." I hummed. "Whenever she visits I don't join."

"You let her run you out of family time?"

"Oh no, no-no, nothing like that." I insisted. "I'd love to spend time with her. She's a lovely woman, but Jake asked that I not be around when she is."

Paul gave me a funny look. "That doesn't bother you?" He inquisitively asked.

"Yes and no." I sighed with a little shrug of my shoulders. "Apparently I make her uncomfortable. Ever since she found out what I did to Eric on the cliffs we haven't really seen eye to eye. Things progressively got worse after I told Jacob about kicking you out of the palace – he told her, and, well, you know how she's always had a soft spot for you. Anyway, when I'm sitting at the table it's dead silence which can be awkward for me, especially with all the thoughts floating around. At least when I'm not there everybody chats and has fun; besides, Jake is always in my head no matter where I go, so it's like I'm there anyway."

The wolf frowned. "But, you're not... you're just sitting alone somewhere."

"Hardly!" I assured him. "I've got plenty of people to keep me company."

"Yeah?" He queried. "Like who."

"Err, well, guards are always around." Always.

He gave me a disbelieving stare. "You spend quality time with the guards?"

"Well, no." I awkwardly stated with a bit of a chuckle. "Believe it or not they aren't very interested in getting to know their king."

"Oh, no, I believe it." He asserted. "So, you actually tried to spend time with the guards?"

I nodded. "Yes, of course, I'm their employer – we should be on amicable terms."

The wolf smirked, he seemed rather entertained. "Yet, they shot down _your_ company. How surprising..."

"No, I was in the way." I said trying to salvage a bit of my dignity. "I shouldn't have been distracting them while they were working."

He laughed and gave me a look like I was utterly pathetic. "They stand in a doorway for eight hours a fucking day; it's not exactly rocket science! Admit it, they didn't want anything to do with you."

I swallowed uncomfortably. "I wouldn't go as far as to say that." They were busy... I couldn't help that they thought I was a nuisance.

"Edward, you can see inside their heads; none of the wanted to get to know you did they?"

I flicked my eyes out the window for a second time. "Not really." I confessed.

"Do any of them even like you?"

"Not particularly."

"Hmm, if the palace was attacked do you think any of them would risk their lives to save you?" He curiously inquired.

"That's their job."

"So, would they?"

I looked back to the wolf and forced myself to meet his eyes. "No, maybe Samuel would." I answered honestly. "But, they would for my family and that's all I care about."

Paul frowned once again. "Eddie, you need get rid of them then and get ones that will. It doesn't matter if they think you're the scum of the earth, you're still king and your life is worth more than theirs." Only two people in this kingdom call me Eddie and that's Jake and Paul, and it felt so good hearing it. It felt like he cared.

"Do you think my life is worth more than James Yorkie's?" Perhaps it was a completely inappropriate thing to talk about in a circumstance like this, but I couldn't help myself. If he went by the logic he spoke of why has he been treating me so harshly?

He gave me hateful glare. "His life may not have been worth as much as yours, but he was a far better person than you could ever be." Not quite the answer I was looking for. The wolf shook his head in anger and let out a heavy huff of breath. "I get why Jacob wanted him dead, I really do. I can't imagine the rage I'd feel if someone did that to my imprint, but why did _you_ have to be the one to kill him?" His face turned pained and his shoulders slumped as he hands fell to his lap. "I know he hurt you, Edward, I know what he's fucking done, I see the scars, I know you've lost feeling wherever they are, but why the fuck did _you _have to be the one to take him away from me? You knew how much I loved him, you knew I thought of him as a little brother, and I swear to fucking god had he killed you I doubt I'd be able to stop myself from doing the same to him, I let Jacob tear me to shreds for you! So, why, for _me_ couldn't you have kept James in prison for a life sentence or two? You even said you'd do everything in your power to keep him alive, yet you fucking lied to me!"

I looked away from him. "Paul..." I breathed as I ran a hand through my hair. "I'm so sorry I lied." I knew he didn't have a clue I was apologizing for lying about the fact that James Yorkie _is_ alive, but I meant it. I wanted to tell him. I desperately did, but I didn't know if that was the right thing to do or not. I'd need him to keep it to himself for James' own safety; I couldn't have Jacob finding out what I was up to. I was worried Paul would tell Ryan, who'd tell Eric, who'd tell Emily – I couldn't have them trying to sneak down to purgatory all the time to see the vampire, Jake would catch on and become suspicious. I could handle one person; I could handle Paul wanting to see James, but not a whole pack.

I didn't have an exact reason why I wanted James Yorkie alive so badly. I figured it was mainly because of Ryan and Paul, though to be honest that wasn't entirely it. I figured I should hate the vampire that lit me on fire, yet I didn't, not really. Everything to do with my burning was only but a foggy memory, though I specifically remember James saying or thinking something about karma. I had to agree – it felt like karma. Perhaps it was a little excessive and I certainly could argue that everything I've ever done has always been in the best interest of someone I've cared about, yet I still couldn't bring myself to hate the guy. Funnily enough I had more respect for him now than I ever did before. My view was so screwed and illogical, but I couldn't really bring myself to care.

It was just yesterday that the vampire was transferred to purgatory. I understood right away why Dr. Cullen suggested an urgent and immediate transfer would be best suited for the vampire. He looked awful, clearly starving, and clearly in_ shit_ condition; it angered me intensely that the warden didn't think to notify me sooner. The _whole_ point of sparing his life was so he could go away somewhere safe for both him and everybody else during his newborn phase, then once his personality was his old human self again he could learn how to get a handle on his powers. Yet, him lying there without eyesight, his hearing, or his sense of smell along with being restrained to a portable metal stretcher that was chained by iron hooks to the concrete floor completely defeated the fucking purpose!

At the time I was honestly beyond pissed. I didn't particularly like the fellow before he lit me on fire, so needless to say he wasn't in my good books, but to know that someone in _my_ kingdom has been treated worse than rabid sewer rats makes me furious – I don't condone torture and this was the exact definition of it. I know just what torture can do to someone, Paul is the perfect example of it. I had hoped to high heavens that James wasn't nearly as damaged as that wolf. I was horrendous at trying to help Paul back in the day, yet I'm the poor leech's only hope – god have mercy on his undead soul. I couldn't be bringing specialists down to purgatory; Jacob would eventually notice, and Jacob noticing more than likely meant _me _having to kick up a storm to keep James alive. Goodness knows that's the last goddamn thing I ever want to do, and that's the exact reason why I haven't told anybody besides Dr. Cullen that Yorkie is alive. If I tell Ryan he'll feel obligated to tell his wolves and that's just _way _too many people knowing. Plus, if they know James is alive they'll want to see him and I'll still be the bad guy for saying no. So, they may as well think me some monster that killed the leech while I'm busy trying to fix him so I can send him back into society and far, _far_ away from my husband.

You know, as a far as I'm concerned James probably wasn't even broken in the first place. I tend to inspire hate, and granted a lot of it is deserved, but I'm really stuck in the middle about the fire. A part of me wants to say it was a long time coming and any sane person would have done the same. Although, the other part of me thinks sane people don't lock kings in trucks and set the thing ablaze with their mind. I don't suppose it matters much now anyway since he's been strapped to a gurney for about a year – if he didn't have issues before, he probably does now!

I had spent a good twenty minutes flipping through his paperwork and once I was done with it I threw the folder aside onto a rickety wooden desk in the small square cell as I grabbed a slender nosed pair of pliers from my pocket that Dr. Cullen had lent me from the surgical room. Apparently James could still use his powers despite being blinded by a mask covering his eyes, though it was hardly a percentage of what he's truly capable of. Yet, with his hearing and sense of smell taken away he couldn't project any of his power, however a thick pair of leather gloves covered his shackled hands since he has been accused of making people _violently_ ill by grabbing a hold of them when they would try to get him to drink. I don't know if I believed that part of what I read or not, but I figured there was no harm in keeping those _on_. Though, lucky for him I had every intention of getting rid of the plugs in his nose and ears – I just hoped he'd take it easy on me and not put up much of struggle. I had to get these pliers inside four little holes in his head and that's the one part he was perfectly capable of thrashing about. I had to be smart about what I was doing, I couldn't just go for it – that would terrify him.

I stepped close to the table James laid on, my upper thighs touching the metal that felt warm through my pants compared to my body temperature. The vampire was shirtless with fine cracks in his porcelain pale skin and he'd clearly been wearing the same off white pair of pants for months. On the cot behind me there was a tray with three big glasses of blood that I had every intention of getting into him which would clear those cracks right up; also, sitting alongside the tray was a large sweater and an equally large pair of black plaid pyjama pants. Originally, I was just going to give him the garb from purgatory, though I thought better of it and stole the clothing from Paul's old room that he'd left behind. My goal was to make James comfortable and docile. I wanted to make him feel at home the best I could and I figured the scent of Paul would help with that. I _really_ needed James to behave well; that would make my life so much easier.

It wasn't like my life was particularly stressful, but it was particularly miserable, although I knew well enough I didn't have the right to complain and I wouldn't... unless someone actually asked me how I felt, though that was highly unlikely. Jacob is a good husband, but sometimes he's a little absentminded. He doesn't think to ask me how I'm doing or feeling, he just assumes I'm good, because, well, why wouldn't I be? It's not like my son hates me, my daughter would have loved to watch me burn in that truck, and just about everybody I can name would rather eat glass than spend an hour in my company. Yet, like I said, I don't really have a right to complain. My scars are a constant reminder that even a king's actions have consequences – if I had always treated Paul with dignity and respect James nor I would be in this situation.

I couldn't fault the leech for being angry for how I handled Paul; it actually made me think him and I had a little something in common – we both lost our heads when it came to protecting our family. The rage and hate James had in his head for me while I burnt reminded me exactly of my own toward Jacob's father and everybody who wanted to hurt my prince and the tiny puppy who called this slave dad. God, Ryan used to look at me with so much love and admiration in his eyes; I was his hero... I was everybody's hero – now I feel like a fly caught in a spider's web uselessly flapping about. I've wondered a frightening amount of times if my family would be better off without me. I did everything in my power to keep them all safe and sound, or at least I thought I did, yet all I managed was to tear us all apart. More often than not I can't help but wish I perished in the fire. Pathetically enough it's not my husband or even my son or daughter that makes me a little thankful I didn't... it's James. If I had died so would've he. For fuck sakes _sometimes_ I even want to kill myself; if I hate myself enough to contemplate it I don't blame him for having the overwhelming urge to murder me too. At least one of us has the guts to try and get the job done.

I touched my scarred hand to James' chest to let him know that he wasn't alone, which caused him to nearly jump out of his marred skin. I stared at the black blindfold that covered his eyes and in the back of his mind I could see it caused him a constant throbbing pain. I felt guilty having such a contraption attached to him, but it was the one thing I felt was necessary. The mask was designed just for him by some vampire I'd never heard of. It had two layers, the inner and the outer. The outer kept him in the dark, and the metal inside that was locked together by screws with the outside had a two tiny metal rods, about the width of lead in a pencil, inserted through each eyelid into both of his eyes. Inside the two little rods were even littler spikes that when a small knob was twisted it released those spikes into the eyes to lock the rods in place. The outer layer was attached to his temples, and quite literally drilled and screwed into place. If James ripped off the mask, both large chunks of his hard flesh and his eyes went with it – yeah, it sounds morbid, but so does trapping someone in a vehicle and watching them burn.

With my touch James' fretful thoughts fluttered to life as his starved body trembled with fear. He knew he had been transported somewhere, he could tell by all the movement, but to where and for what reasons he hadn't a clue and the not knowing horrified him. A whimper left his throat, practically a cry, yet he was unaware of the childlike noise he made. My heart on its own accord felt pained by the sound of him and as I gazed down at him a huge part of me wondered how I could have ever disliked him when he was just a kid. I could easily remember him half his size with wide curious blue eyes, a big grin, and messy blonde hair from Ryan always sticking it in braids and pony tails. James truly made a beautiful human child and he even had the cute and quirky personality to go along with his good looks, which for the longest while made me wonder why he hadn't been adopted.

Humans weren't sought after for adoption by any means when slavery was still around, but once vampires received equal rights plenty of them wanted to start families and I even referred a few James' way. I didn't like the clingy boy for my son's friend, yet as dead as I am on the outside, I wasn't on the inside – I felt pity for the kid. I thought he'd do well with a mother and father to dote on him; because, like I said, he was a clingy boy and held tight to anybody that showed the mildest of interest in him. I suppose he still does that, Paul and Charlie were obvious enough proof. At first I thought it was strange that James so easily moved aside for Paul to take the place he always wanted, yet the more I thought about it the more it made sense. With James backing down that earned Paul's respect and inevitably the acceptance of his presence, which lead to friendship, which lead to brotherly love. I suspect the vampire, human at the time, saw a big spot where he could wriggle his way into the wolf's life permanently. I've been in James' mind enough times to know how badly he wants to be loved – a trait I find absolutely irritating – and I figure if he knew he wasn't going to get the love he wanted from Ryan maybe he knew he could get a different kind from somewhere else, someone like Paul. I could be completely wrong, though. What did I know? It could have fallen all into place on its own, yet that didn't stop me from being ridiculously annoyed that Eric sabotaged every meeting James had with perspective adoptive parents. Maybe if I try hard enough I can understand why the alpha wolf coached his brother and taught him how to be a little shit when the rare family took an interest in him. Neither of them wanted to be separated from each other, yet I really do think James would have flourished with a set of parents or even just one that was dedicated to him.

I met with Charlotte Yorkie once upon a time. James had just gone into foster care and I figured I ought to track down his mother just in case she had a change of heart and was, perchance, looking for her boys. Well, she wasn't, at least not when it came to James. She claimed she never had a human son, but her boy, Eric, an alpha wolf, ran away years ago and she had never been able to find him. I had my people 'look into it', and in the end I told her an Eric Yorkie has never existed. I figured if she was going to screw with me I'd do the same thing right back. Sure, it was petty beyond belief, but to deny your own child's existence is downright sick in my mind. A few days later I had the guards gather her and I sent her to a prison on the other side of the kingdom – I honestly never wanted to see or deal with that woman again. She'll be locked up for a long time, if not until her death, with three charges against her: child endangerment, child abandonment, and sexual abuse of a minor. I heard a few very faint memories of hers that pertained to Eric as a puppy. I couldn't say if she went as far as intercourse, but I was able to see a disturbing visual of her mouth going to a place on her son that no mother's ever should. Lately, I wondered from time to time if the wolf ever admitted this to Paul – I figured if anybody could understand the sick things people are capable of, Paul could, and he'd probably be a good person to vent to about it. Just recently I had the sudden urge to find out about Eric's father. I found him, I haven't met with him – I didn't really think it was my place, but I've been hoping to set up a reunion, though I'm certain working with Eric would prove difficult. I 'murdered' his baby brother after all.

Once Charlotte was in prison she finally confessed that she did indeed have a human son. With the information she gave I was able to track down the man James believed to be his father with the hope that maybe now he was ready to take care of his boy. The man _wasn't_ his father and he had the paternity test from many years prior to prove it, which was the reason he took off when the human was just a baby. Peter was a good human, it was easy to tell by his mind, and with little convincing on my part he agreed to take James in, however when he spoke to his wife about it she was firmly against having a foster kid in their home and around their young children. I met with her myself and spoke vehemently on James' behalf that he was a good boy and was absolutely harmless, though the woman was dead set on her decision and Peter and I parted ways with nothing but guilt on his mind for abandoning the blonde hair and blue eyed baby he once thought of as his.

I had Charlotte thoroughly interrogated as to who could be James' biological father. I followed just about a dozen leads she gave me, yet they all lead to nothing. Ever since the fire, on occasion, I feel partly responsible for James' outcome just because of my lack of motivation when it came to finding him a good home. Once I gave up on getting any decent information from his mother I moved on to what I felt were more important things to occupy my time. I know the palace would have been a good and safe place for him when he was younger, yet his unsuppressed thoughts regarding my son were daunting to say the least and I didn't feel comfortable with him living under the same roof as my puppy.

The vampire's thoughts were hardly sexual at the time, but I knew he was deeply in love with Ryan, and Jasper easily confirmed it. I didn't like how I'd hear him wishing that my son was a girl and how he use to really encourage Ryan's feminine side. I wouldn't care if by my boy's own volition he was more feminine than any woman out there, but I just couldn't stand James' motivation behind it – the more girly Ryan acted and dressed, the more attracted he was to him. As James aged into his mid-teens he didn't try to sway my son any which way and became quite fond of him just the way he was. He adored the way Ryan wore fitted jeans, bright shirts, and how his hair hung in shiny waves, which later on only made me wonder what the vampire, then human, saw in Charlie Swan.

His mind was always a jumbled mess and incredibly hard to read when he was around the two, and part of me thinks Charlie was not only a devastating distraction, but a subconscious way of proving to Ryan that he could be with and love a male. In his thoughts he always worded things so effeminately when it came to his vampire boyfriend – he used words like beautiful and gorgeous, yet I can't recall a time where he thought of him as handsome or the like. Charlie was hardly manly, but he was certainly boyish and by no means girly, yet I always felt like James tried to lump him into a feminine role of sorts. He wanted to be with a girl, but he also wanted Ryan, so he was stuck and confused – when it comes to his sexuality, from what I've gathered, he'd give anybody a shot if he thought they were capable of loving him the way he desperately desired.

I ran my hand from his chest to his left shoulder and down his arm. My touch was meant to show him I meant no harm, that I'd be gentle with him, but he was too terrified to get the message. He could tell by my temperature that I was a vampire, yet he hadn't a clue as to who I could be... he hated the not knowing. I placed the medical pliers in his shackled and gloved hand while I tapped beside his ear in an effort to tell him what I wanted to do.

He fingered the pliers and rolled then around in his hand, though he shook his head. "I... I can't tell what it is, not with the glove on." James' voice was quiet and his mind was going a mile a minute trying to figure out what the simple instrument in his hand was, yet he was just too fearful to be able to make sense of it.

I was weary about taking off the glove that covered his hand – his mind showed no malice; though I knew all too well the snap decisions he was capable of making. Perhaps it was utterly foolish on my part, but I decided to give the vampire the benefit of the doubt if only to see just how trustworthy he was. So, I took the pliers from his hand and placed them by his thigh and removed the glove against my better judgement.

The moment his fingers were free they lunged the few inches they could toward me and snugly curled around my wrist. I tried to yank it away, yet despite his frail state he was able to hold onto me out of sheer desperation. "You're hurt!" He cried, his bellowing voice echoing loudly around the cell and into the hall. His mind turned analytical as his hand surveyed my skin beneath it – his thoughts were rapid and he was drawing conclusions I wasn't sure how he was capable of reaching. The instant his fingers had touched my uneven scars he knew something was wrong, yet the longer he held firm to me the more information he was able to gather. He knew I had been burnt as if my scars had told the story themselves, and with the tingle throughout my body I could feel the presence of his powers over my skin as they followed the scars like a map to see what kind of damage was done to me.

"Help me and I'll help you." He said as he released my wrist. I heard myself gasp and I felt the stale air of the underground jail enter my lungs as I stared at my skin... my beautiful skin! Where his hand had held me was the healthy unscathed milky skin that I once had. "Please." He begged while I ran the pad of my index finger over my new skin; I could feel it! "Please, your grace." My eyes widened with the sound of my title. He was merely guessing who I was, but his guess was frighteningly accurate.

I grabbed the pliers from beside the vampire and tilted his head to the side. James held still and silent, resigned to any fate I was about to give him – a part of me felt good that luck was on his side and for some odd reason so was I. I inserted the skinny metal tip of the pliers inside his ear and removed the implant as delicately as I could, although much of the inside of his ear was chipped by the removal. His jaw was clenched in pain and he startled as he heard the clang of me dropping the implant onto the metal table he was laying on. Without him making a peep I leaned his head to the other side and repeated the process.

"Say something." James whispered.

"Tilt your head back." I instructed. "I want get those plugs out of your nose."

"Oh god..." He breathed, overwhelmed by the sound of my voice, though he didn't hesitate to lean his head back and give me access to his nose. I easily removed each plug, this time with little pain on his part and right away he sucked in a lungful of air through them. "Feels so much better." He murmured in relief. "What about my eyes?" He queried next.

"You need to stay blinded." I told James. He nodded, though said nothing in reply. I waved for the guards to enter the cell as I pulled off his other glove and I motioned for them to unlock everything that held the vampire in place. When the vampire was free I asked for warm water and a cloth so I could clean the grime from where he'd been shackled so long, and with the cell empty and water on its way I helped James into a sitting position with his legs hanging over the side of the stretcher. "Can you hold yourself up on your own?" I questioned.

"I think so." He mumbled as his pale and cracked fingers held onto the edge of the metal by each knee.

I swiftly got a glass of blood from across the cell and lifted one of James' hands to place it in it. "Drink." I insisted. "It'll make you feel better."

He raised the glass to beneath his nose and inhaled. "Wolf's blood." He groaned, and pressed the glass to his lips. He chugged the liquid, taking no time to savour the taste, and I quickly replaced it with the second glass, and then the third. "Thank you." He huffed as he let out a breath after finishing the final gulp. "I honestly thought I'd end up starving. I thought I was going to die... you know, for good."

I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. "Another week or so and you probably would have. Why were you refusing to feed before?"

The vampire shrugged. "Someone made me really sick... put something in the blood I was drinking. I couldn't smell or taste it, so I didn't know." Again he shrugged. "I guess I was just scared of it happening again, but it being worse the second time around. I didn't want to die and I figured I'd have more time starving myself instead of being poisoned or some shit."

"Is that when you started making people ill when they tried to get you to drink?" I inquired.

"Yeah, but I only did what they did to me – nothing more... nothing less."

"I can understand that." I think... I wasn't sure if I was making excuses for his bad behaviour or not, though if roles were reversed I have a feeling I'd do something along the same lines as he did. It felt justified.

The water arrived and I sat up on the gurney at his side and took one arm at a time to wash his dirty wrists and hands while I was very pleased to watch the dark and deep cracks in his skin begin to close. I touched the warm cloth to his back next which he delightfully sighed at the feel of. "Why are you doing this for me?" He asked.

As I thought of good and truthful answer I inhaled a breath and let it out before I spoke. "Because you hate me..." I responded. "I don't want anybody to hate me anymore."

James turned his head in my direction, despite not being able to see me. "I lit you on fire."

"I pushed your brother off a cliff." I retorted.

"He kinda deserved it."

"So did I."

The vampire quietly chuckled and nodded his head, which caused me to smile. "I never thought I'd live to see the day where King Edward Black thought of himself as anything less than perfect."

"Hey, I never thought I was perfect."

James cocked his head. "Then why did you expect everybody else to be?"

"Touche." I grumbled as I tossed the cloth back in the bowl of warm water. "I don't know what was wrong with me."

"You might want to figure that out. Take it from me, it feels like shit making the same mistakes twice."

"So, what was wrong with you then, you know, when you burnt me?" I inquisitively questioned.

"_You_..." He deadpanned. "And Charlie..." He added with a sigh. "Plus a heaping dose of crazy. I'm sure you know the feeling."

I furrowed my brows and gazed his way. "Did you just call me crazy?" I asked with a chortle.

The vampire gave me a charming smile. "Well, I certainly didn't imply that you're sane, your grace." He teased. I didn't know how James was doing it; on the inside he was panicking, screaming practically with stress and fear of what I might do to him, of what would become of him – he was terrified, yet he kept calm and cool, and if I couldn't dig around in his mind I'd think he was incredibly relaxed as well.

"What mistakes have you made twice?" I couldn't help my curiosity. I knew I should probably be trying to sooth the vampire and get him settled, but I had forever to do that later.

"Oh..." James breathed, and look of melancholy washed over him. "Falling for the wrong people." He fervently shook his head and gave his shoulders a shrug. "But, it's cool, whatever. Ryan and Paul are _soul mates,_" I could practically _feel_ the bitterness in his tone. "And what could I ever offer a boy like Charlie, anyway? Fuck, what could I have offered a prince? I mean, I don't know how long I've been locked up for, yet all I've had time to do is reflect; it makes sense that they wouldn't want me." Goodness me, I didn't realize we were going to have a pity party. "Paul is a goddamn lunatic, but he's still a better catch than me – he's rich, handsome, and has a good heart to boot. Then Charlie, ha!" He resentfully laughed. "You know what he told me?"

"Not a clue." I replied.

"That he was leaving me for a guy _just_ like me, but with a pulse." He paused for a moment as he sucked in an angry breath. "He fucked him too!" He snapped at me. "It makes me _sick_ thinking about all the times he slept with that guy then did the same with me only hours later." He turned his head away from mine. "I should have known everything was too good to be true... hell, it wasn't even all that good; I just wanted it to be true. I wouldn't have cared much if things were awful so long as he was in love with me. I know it's pathetic, I know it makes me a pussy, but I just want one person, _one fucking person_, to truly love me and never let go. Do you have any idea what it feels like to be thrown away?"

"Actually..." I said. "I do. When I was auctioned off I never felt more unwanted in my life. Maybe that's a little redundant since I was also bought, but I had been around all these people for seventeen years and they could all see me go. I didn't even know what love was... of course I knew of the word, but what it felt like," I shook my head. "No, I hadn't a clue. I was blessed coming to the palace... falling for Jake, gaining a son, but your story isn't over yet, James. The only thing that makes you pathetic is that you seem to think you're not worthy of someone else, and with that attitude, then no, I'm afraid you're not. You dodged two bullets not ending up with Ryan or Charlie, since clearly neither of them are right for you. Neither of them would be able to give you what you wanted... you keep thinking about how you're not what others want, yet if you look at the big fucking picture you'd see they're not what _you_ want. Charlie's a cheater and Ryan would have never gotten Paul out of his head even if the wolf never returned, you'd have always been second best. You need to man up and realize that just because neither of them were right for you doesn't mean that there's something wrong with you."

"I lit a fucking king on _fire_. There's something wrong with me."

I chortled and placed a hand on his dirty pant leg. "Yeah, and a lot of people would have paid good money to see me burn – one of them being my very own daughter."

"_You don't say_." He said with a smirk. "She's gotta be full grown now, right? Is she hot?"

I let out a laugh. "Don't even think about it! And, she's very beautiful, and _way_ out of your league."

James grinned. "Why don't we let _her_ be the judge of that?"

"Don't make me strap you back to this thing!" I guffawed as I tapped the metal stretcher.

The vampire shook his head. "Lock me back up and you can kiss your pretty skin goodbye." He playfully threatened.

I gazed down at my healed wrist. "Can you really heal all of me?"

He gave me a shake of his head no. "I can't heal you, I manipulate things. I forced cells to duplicate, grow and expand. I just used what you already had and gave it a jump start. If someone had a gaping wound with their guts hanging out I don't think I could do anything for them – maybe I could stop the bleeding... maybe I could do more, but I definitely don't want to test the theory."

"You could really help people, though. Would you want to?"

James nodded. "Sure, if they deserved it."

I frowned at that answer. "You're not going to fix me are you?"

The vampire swallowed venom that pooled in his mouth as he thought of a way to barter with me. "I will if you let me go."

I raised my brows and laughed. "Your powers are virtually limitless and I know exactly what it's like being on the receiving end of them when you're angry. You'll get out when I trust you with my life... and everybody's in the kingdom for that matter."

He stiffened, his mind in complete disbelief. "You're going to give me freedom?" Queried James with his hands grasping and twisting the metal edge of the gurney by his legs.

"Yes, if you earn it, and you better since I do believe you're my only saving grace. Everybody thinks I killed you... Jacob ordered your death and there really was no other way around it." I explained. "Paul won't talk to me and neither him nor Eric will set foot in the palace. Ryan wants nothing to do with me and is too polite to come right out and say he hates me for what I've done, and Rachel, well, she has her reasons for disliking me – everybody else just seemed to fall into sync with them, besides Jake of course; he's happy as a pig in mud."

"Shit..." James breathed. "What would happen if his majesty found out I was still alive and kicking?"

I slouched with a sigh. "You might just be the reason why the kings divorce and the kingdom is split in two. You'll make history, and probably get a life sized statue too."

"Awesome!" He commented with a chortle, though quickly righted himself. "Uh, I mean..." He cleared his throat. "That would be horrible."

"Do you think he'd leave me?" I don't know why the hell I was asking the vampire this, but it's not like I had anybody else to talk to about these sorts of things. So, why not the leech who tried to end my life?

James shrugged. "I don't know, man. I grew up around you two. To me it seems impossible. I think he's the one person that will put up with all your bullshit and still love you dearly despite it – he imprinted on you... he can't help it. He's obligated to love you." That wasn't quite what I wanted to hear. "It's not like he's perfect, right? You put up with his shit too. You've seen each other at your worst and managed to get through it, so I highly doubt I'll be the fall of the kingdom. It's pretty inconceivable that _James Yorkie_ will make the history books. I'll still take the statue, though."

Again, I sighed. "I keep thinking this will be the last straw, that once he finds out that I lied yet _again_ to him he'll have had enough."

"Look, I don't know why you spared me, but it took guts and it took heart. He's not going to leave you because you did a good deed. I know it wasn't for me or Eric, so I'll figure it was for Ryan and Paul – you didn't want to hurt your son and your best friend. If his majesty were to leave you because of that, well, then, it's his loss isn't it?"

I furrowed my brows in absolute confusion. "You do remember you tried to murder me right? It's hardly his loss."

The vampire shook his head in annoyance. "What are we doing, having a pity party?" Actually I kind of thought we were. "I didn't try to murder you in general, just who you are... or were... we'll see. But, seriously, your grace, I don't regret it. I feel guilty, sure, though I won't apologize."

I quirked a brow. "Now _that_ takes guts... telling a king you're not sorry for trying to _assassinate_ him."

James chuckled, yet his mind was a whirl with worry. He was scared of me. "Assassinate... that makes it sound so much cooler than it was. It really was a pussy move on my part, though. I should have at least hit you or something, but instead I just stood there."

"Yeah, well, everything is said and done now." I put in.

"True, I'll just have to try harder next time." I whipped my head to the side to the view the vampire and he laughed. "Kidding, if I was going to kill you I'd have done it already."

"That's reassuring." I mumbled.

"It should be. I want freedom and you're the only one who can give it to me; I guess I kinda need you."

"And you're the only one who can fix my scars." I added.

He nodded. "Exactly, so you need me too. Aren't we lucky!" Terribly so.

"But, you will fix them, right?" I questioned.

"Yes, if you deserve it." I frowned at his answer because not only did he think that was highly unlikely, but so did I. James turned to my direction and he found me by using his fingertips; he ran them up the side of my neck, over my cheek, and across my lips to feel my expression – it felt strangely intimate. "Do you think I'm capable of being a good vampire?" He asked as he dropped his hand to his lap.

"I do." I truthfully replied.

He slowly nodded. "I feel the same about you." He paused for a moment and sighed. "What I did to you... the fire... it was wrong of me and in the right state of mind I'd have never done it, but as much as I did it out of anger and hate for you, I just wanted you to see the damage you've caused people. Your scars, I know they're bad, though the pain you felt to get them is only a taste of what Paul has gone through to get his; I'd wager your outside matches his inside." The vampire scooted closer to me until our outer thighs touched. "When you kicked Paul out of the palace for those five years it wasn't that you wanted to distance him from his imprint that angered me, it's that you left him to rot. Trust me, I know firsthand how difficult the wolf can be to deal with. I can't tell you how many times he came to me in the middle of the night distraught and in tears, or how many times he needed reassurance that he was good for Ryan, that he wouldn't let him down, that he should never give up because his imprint will make sure his future is not even remotely as dark as his past, and that he's only got good things ahead of him. He takes patience, your grace, and you lost your patience. You gave up on him and he deserves so much better than that since there's not a chance in hell he'd ever give up on one of us. He'd sacrifice everything he has and is to protect and care for the people he loves, and that's exactly why I was willing to risk my existence to give you a taste of your own medicine. He loves you more than he could ever love me, so it was more important that he has _you_, the _you_ he talks about when he was just a teenager, and the _you_ he used to wish he could be."

"It was a waste, James. He doesn't want anything to do with me." I pettily complained

The vampire gave me a smile. "Yeah, but think about _why_ he doesn't want anything to do with you. He thinks you killed me, but instead you saved my life – you took the fall for something so entirely shitty knowing how people would react just because you thought it was the right thing to do; that is something the king I grew up around and the king Paul used to know would do. One day, hopefully sooner rather than later, he'll inevitably find out that you sacrificed a lot of peoples respect to keep me, somebody who nearly offed you, alive." He put a hand on my shoulder. "You'll get your friend back, it's only a matter of time. Patience, your grace."

"And Ryan?" I queried.

He gave my shoulder a squeeze, not that I could feel it. "He's a fickle boy, but I know he loves you; killing me wouldn't take that away. How did he react when he saw you burnt?"

"Horribly. He's become quite the little man since, but he was nothing but tears and sobs. I was taken to the infirmary down in purgatory, where we are, though Paul was taken to the hospital – I had promised the wolf Ryan would be there when he woke up; my son wouldn't leave my side, however. I don't think I've ever felt more guilty about feeling so loved in my life. It was short lived since Jake quickly ordered your death. Ryan was furious with you, he said what you did was unforgivable, yet he didn't want you to die because of your actions. I tried to talk my husband out of it of course; it was obviously to no avail. Ryan will tolerate his company, but I think mine is getting harder for him to bear. I know he loves me, I don't doubt that; it just bothers me that my own puppy can't stand me, yet I suppose it's to be expected since he thinks I killed you. He wanted you imprisoned, though he never wanted you murdered."

"Pick a part of you." James hurriedly said.

I pinched my brows together in confusion. "What?"

He happily grinned, much like a child, and glided his hand from my shoulder down my back and slipped it under my shirt to run his fingers along my scarred skin. I stared at the vampire incredulously because of his odd and intimate action. "How about your back? It's the worst of all the scars – want me to fix it?" He inquired.

"Why would you do that?"

"Because you deserve it. I'm alive because of you and I definitely shouldn't be, I owe you."

I looked away from the vampire. I wanted my back fixed so damn badly, but... "Can you put my wrist back the way it was... you know, scarred?"

"Uh..." He said with lack of understanding and he dropped his hand from my back.

"Jacob will notice. I don't want him to ask questions because I don't want to have to lie."

His smile faded and he shook his head. "I don't know how to create scar tissue, not without burning you again."

"Can you burn me with your touch?" I questioned. "You made guards sick."

The vampire slouched. "I... I don't know. All I did was fuck with their immune system. I don't want to burn you, though."

I picked up his hand and curled his fingers around my wrist. "You said yourself that you owe me; this is what I want."

James thoughts were conflicted. "Shouldn't I be using my powers for good?"

"This is good. I don't want to lie to the man I love more than I already have."

"So, don't lie. Tell him I'm down here." He said it like it was actually that simple.

"You almost killed his imprint, James. He's not going let that go, not yet at least." I warned him. "Ever heard the story of what Paul did to Jared Cameron, one of his pack brothers, because he poisoned Ryan's food?"

The vampire sighed. "Okay, I get it, he can't know about me." He pushed my arm away and released my wrist. "But, I'm not using my powers to hurt you – it's too easy to get carried away with that kind of thing and I don't even know what I'm capable of."

"Do you think you could kill somebody even though you're blinded?" I queried.

He nodded. "Easily, if you had a heartbeat I could stop it just by touching you, maybe I wouldn't even have to make contact if you were close enough. A heart is a fragile muscle, even in a wolf, it wouldn't take much effort on my part to make it tense and quit." He turned his head upwards as if he were looking at the fluorescent lights above us. "I can hear the electricity." Whispered the vampire as the lights began to flicker. "I could shock somebody if I really wanted to."

"So, what exactly does the mask prevent you from doing?"

The flickering stopped when James lowered his head and turned it my way. "I threw a car onto Paul's house just by willing it. I can't do something that big without my sight – I need to be able to see what I'm doing, to focus. When I can see it's like my powers have the strength of vampire, but when I can't they're only as strong as a human. But, either way, I don't want to hurt anybody, your grace, not even you. Not again." A small smile returned on his pale face. "I promise I'll fix up your back when you're ready... I'll throw in a hand and forearm too since I really respect why you're not doing it right away."

I smiled back at him. "Thanks." I quite honestly appreciated it. It felt good being recognized for something right I've _finally_ done.

James shrugged. "Don't thank me, I'm reason we're both sitting down here in this shit hole."

I leaned some of my weight against the vampire just to feel someone close to me other than my husband. "I'm not sorry either... about the fire that is. I mean, I feel sorry for myself more often than not, but through all this I learned exactly who I don't want to be."

He nodded in understanding while he leaned against me as well. "So did I." The vampire shook his head a bit and chuckled. "I always imagined what it would be like living here in the palace. Ryan and his majesty always offered when I was older, but I was standing on my own two feet by then, plus I always kinda felt like I was in the way, especially at family gatherings like Christmas. Nobody ever treated me different, but I knew I wasn't really part of it and instead just an outsider looking in. The first time I came to the palace I was in awe of the place, I never wanted to leave, especially after meeting you and Jacob. It's so fucking stupid, though I swear I prayed every night before bed that you two would adopt my brother and I. I just... well, Ryan was always talking about how great you guys are, plus he had some many nice things; I guess I wanted what he had." He scrubbed a hand across his face and laughed to himself as the guilt began to bite at me. "The puppy was forever telling me I needed to be a good boy so a mommy and daddy would want me. I had a few couples come and meet with me, but _never_ me _and_ my brother. In all the years we were at the orphanage not a single family was interested in Eric, he was too old I guess, but I never wanted to abandon him – I saw what it did to him when our mother left and I was naive enough to think he needed me, so when he'd tell me bad things to say to the couples who were looking for a son I did it because I wanted to and kept on dreaming that Eric and I would be princes one day." The vampire turned his head away from me. "I always wondered what it'd be like living in the palace, but I never would have imagined that I would, and down here in purgatory no less... kinda sucks, ya know?"

I hung my head low, though mustered up the courage to wrap an arm around James' broad and bare shoulders. "I never knew you wanted me as a dad, I never once heard you think it. If you had..." Jesus, I don't know what I would have done. Surely things would have turned out much differently. I don't know why I didn't like the little boy, but if I had known this... if I wasn't so oblivious...

James chuckled and shook his head. "I might be blonde and beautiful, but I'm not dumb. I was terrified of you hearing it and I tried my damnedest to make sure you never did. I guess I did a good job it."

I gave his shoulder a squeeze and held him tight. "Why didn't you want me to hear it?"

He faced his head forward and sighed. "The rejection. If you heard me think it and nothing came of it I'd have known you didn't want me. I liked imagining all the possibilities along with all these great adventurous things I could get up to as a little human prince – it was so exciting; I didn't want to spoil the fantasy."

I scowled at myself; god, I was so ridiculously awful. "I had no idea..."

James shrugged and smiled my way. "It's okay, I think I dodged a bullet anyway. The last thing I need to be known as is the creep that fell for his brother." I chuckled at his expense and lifted my hand from his shoulder; I was about to run my fingers through his messy blonde hair like I used to do with Ryan, though I thought it might be extremely weird and awkward, yet I kind of wanted to. So, I pressed forward and drowned my fingers in his golden strands. "Your grace!" He playfully gasped. "You're either hitting on or trying to comfort me. I don't know which one is more plausible, but I'll have you know I'd make a great king and I'm completely single. I do come with some baggage, however. _But_, in case of the former... thank you."

"You're welcome." Told him with a bit of nervous breathy laughter. This was so strange, especially when he leaned into my touch to get more of it. I was treating him like he was a kid, yet he's far from it and even appears older than I.

"How long have I been locked up?" He questioned.

"About a year."

"Hmm..." James contentedly hummed as I brushed my fingers through his wavy hair to the tips of it and repeated the process. "That's why this feels so good." He rested his head on my shoulder, not because he really wanted to, but because sometimes you just need to feel somebody close so you know you're not alone. He did the same for me... made me feel not so alone. I had Jake, though it was good to feel noticed by someone else and oddly enough I felt like I had plenty in common with the vampire. I knew alone well, I also knew what it was like to wish for parents, and I definitely knew what it was like to be overwhelmed by a sudden burst of power. I liked the guy, really liked him and that is exactly why that while I gazed at Paul ahead of me at the two person table I knew I couldn't tell him James was actually alive. I didn't want to risk the vampire's undead life, I didn't want to put him in danger, I didn't want something bad to happen to him just because I yearned for the wolf's approval. Frankly, I cared about James and I'd do all I can to keep him safe.

Paul sighed and flicked his eyes to the clock by the canteen. "You should probably get going." He told me. I looked to the clock myself and I knew for a fact that my son wasn't planning on getting here for another few hours.

I offered up a weak smile. "I'm in no hurry... if you want company-"

"I don't, Ed." He interrupted. "At least not yours."

"Oh." I said mindlessly while I hurriedly tried to think of something better say as I tried to extinguish the hurt I felt. "That's fine. I'm sure I can find something to do at home." I stood from the table and took a step out of the bright sunlight.

Paul stood as well. "Spend the day with Jacob. You look absolutely abysmal, he'll cheer you up."

I nodded and held firm to my fake smile. "Thanks, that's a good suggestion, but he's away for the day and night with his pack. He's upset that our puppy is leaving home already, so he's blowing off some steam with the guys. It'll be good for him."

"Then take the opportunity to spend some quality time with Rachel. I'm sure she'll appreciate it." I'm sure she wouldn't.

My smile began to falter. "I'd love to, but I promised her she could spend the night at her mother's. Don't tell Jake, though." I said with a nervous chuckle. "He'd kill me." Paul cocked his head; it honestly looked like I just gave him a good idea. "She has plenty of guards with her. She'll be safe." At least that's what I keep telling myself.

"I'm surprised you're letting her." So, am I, but the apple doesn't fall far from the tree and I didn't really feel like I had a choice when she said she'd tell her father that I was hiding James in purgatory if I didn't let her stay at her mother's. How she found out about the vampire, I don't know. She has a way of knowing things. She has a way of being way too nosey and making my life difficult. I love her dearly, but I wish she was nothing like me. "Ryan was never allowed to sleep at Natalie's, he'd be really hurt if he found this out."

"Yes, well..." I'm a prick, what do you want me to say, wolf? "Maybe it's best he doesn't then."

Paul shook his head in disagreement. "I'm not keeping secrets for you anymore, Edward. Ryan is my main priority, not you. I've spent too much time dicking around and listening to what _you_ have to say." He paused and let out an angry huff of breath. "I love you, Edward, I really do, but if I had things _my_ way I'd never fucking see you again."

I felt my frozen insides clench and the urge to shed impossible tears. "I understand."

"Do you, Edward?" The wolf hissed at me as he stomped my way. "Do you really? Because I don't think you possibly can – I don't think you could ever get what you've put me through. I know I'm just some sick old fuck that loves your dear little puppy," He said as he roughly jabbed my shoulder. "Though excuse me for caring, excuse me for getting in the way, and excuse me for wanting to be everything my imprint has ever dreamt of. I know I don't look like much now, not in here, but I'm done with my past, which means I'm done with you. I'm your son's boyfriend, his future husband and the wolf he'll raise puppies with, but I'll _never_ be your friend." He turned his back to me and headed for the exit, though he abruptly faced me when he made it into the doorway. "I'm serious about those guards, Ed. Fire them and get ones that will protect you with their lives – I never again want to see somebody hurt you. You know very well you didn't deserve the extremes Jamie went to, and I'm way too fucking annoyed with you to want to be bothered with worrying about you life. So, get on it."

I smiled faintly, though sincerely at the wolf. "You do care about me."

He nodded. "Of course I fucking care. I'm not you. I can't turn my emotions off whenever it suits me. So, don't go getting yourself killed or I'll just have to wake you up and kill you again because of your stupidity and negligence." He gave me a very brief smile and sighed. "I'm always going to be here, Ed; we're practically family. I've got your back – always have, always will. But, _still_, do me a favour and fuck off."


	56. Chapter 56

**PLEASE READ: **As many of you may have noticed I put this story on hiatus. My only reason for this is because I can't promise updates, at least not regularly. This story **will** be finished. I'd love to say I'll update every week, but that's not likely, though it is my aim. Please bear with me - I believe I have less than twenty chapters to go, so we are nearing the end!

_**Thank you to ALL the lovely reviewers! If it wasn't for you I think I would have thrown this story in the trash long ago.**_

* * *

**Chapter Fifty-six  
**

_Point of View: Edward**  
**_

In retrospect my visit with Paul went fairly well considering the circumstances, and despite leaving the hospital feeling outrageously melancholy I knew a certain someone who wouldn't be displeased by my company, perhaps a little uncomfortable, but, no, not at all displeased. I felt almost giddy at the prospect of seeing James as I hurried down the gloomy concrete hallways of purgatory. I spent many hours the previous day getting him settled; I feel I did fairly well doing such – instead of a cell he had a large open unit to himself. I figured decor was hardly an issue, not with a blind vampire, but I was able to get him accustomed to his area that had a large couch for him to laze around on with a television in front of it with cable... not that he could watch it, though he said he'd like to be able to listen to one – he particularly liked the music channels. He had a dresser with plenty of fresh clothes and even a refrigerator stocked with blood that had a microwave to heat his drinks beside it. I'll be the first to say microwaved blood is far from satisfactory, yet for now, it would have to do the trick. The vampire also had a private showering area along with his own washer and dryer. Honestly, I was trying to make him feel as at home and self-sufficient as possible in a place like this. I really didn't want him to feel like a prisoner, because in my eyes he wasn't. I knew that want was a bit fruitless, but I did hope I made it clear enough to the vampire that he wouldn't always be down here.

I reached a fork in the hall and made a sharp right. At the end of the corridor were large barred gates that blocked James from freedom and were guarded by two vampires. I peeked through the bars in the gates to see James lying back on the worn old couch listening to music on the television while he tossed a fuzzy tennis ball above his head only to catch it just before it hit his face each time. I requested that the guards open the gate and lock it behind me and take a break to give the vampire and me privacy.

James was all smiles as he listened to me near while he sat up on the couch to allow me to sit. "I didn't think you'd be back so soon!" He enthusiastically told me. How he found it inside himself to be genuinely happy about my company was beyond me. Then again, he lit me on fire and I was just as pleased to lay my sights on the vampire. His positivity was incredibly addicting.

I took a seat at the far end of the couch, though he was quick to close the distance and silently demand all of my attention. I wrapped my arm over his clothed shoulders much like I did the previous day and placed a hand in his combed blonde hair that hung loosely behind him. "Miss me?" I jested in question.

"A little." He laughed in response, though I was shocked to hear in his thoughts that he was being honest. "I spent how long strapped to that gurney? Any company is great company now." Oh, duh... it wasn't me he missed, it was somebody to touch and talk to him. "You missed me too, your grace. Why else would you be down here?"

"I actually have something really important I want to talk to you about." I informed him.

The vampire frowned and turned his head my way, not that he could see me with the blindfold – I assumed it was out of old habits. My fingers slipped from his hair and he was visibly concerned. "Is it bad?" He queried.

"Not even remotely." I assured him as I removed my arm from around him and pulled a piece of paper that I had folded in four from the pocket of my pants along with a pen. I handed over the paper which he opened up and ran his pale fingers across. "After our talk yesterday I couldn't get this off my mind." I said as I tapped the sheet of paper in his hands.

"What does it say?" He asked me.

I took one of his hands in mine to guide his index finger along a black line by the bottom left hand corner. I placed the pen in his spare hand. "If you sign your name right where you are touching we'll officially be family."

James stiffened and his mind moved so rapidly it was practically blank. "What?" He gasped.

"You said during family gatherings you always felt like an outsider. I don't want you to feel that way, because you're not, you _are_ family."

"Oh my god." His voiced quavered and his hands shook as they clung to the paper. "If I sign this thing, does that make you my fucking dad?"

I chuckled in amusement. "Technically, but you're free to think of me as you want."

He pushed the paper away from him and into my lap. "Shit..." He shook his head. "Imagine if his majesty found out."

I nodded with a bit of pent up eager excitement. "Exactly, imagine if Jacob did; what's my husband going to do, order my own _son's_ death? No damn way!" The vampire turned his head away from me with a slight smile on his face. "When I trust you enough to leave purgatory, not necessarily with your blindfold off, Jacob will learn of you and that you're mine."

"Where will I go, though?"

"Nowhere." I assured him. "You'll be a prince, the palace is your home if you want it to be."

James' mind was wild with disbelief as he tried to process what I was saying. "Fuck me..." He breathed. "I'd be a prince?"

I put a hand on his shoulder and firmly gripped it. "You said yourself you always imagined what it'd be like to live in the palace... that you prayed you'd be adopted by Jake or I, maybe even both. Well, here I am; exceedingly late of course, but _I am_ here and I want to give you what I should have a long time ago."

He shook his head. "It's not that simple – you can't just make me a prince and expect Jacob to be okay with it."

"I don't expect that in the least." I asserted. "He'll be furious, but I suspect he'll back off once he understands the gravity of the situation. Once he understands just how much I, his imprint, cares about you."

James turned to me as if he were staring right at me. "How much you care about me?... As in, you _actually_ care about me?"

I moved my hand from his shoulder back to his hair and gently combed my scarred fingers through it. "Perhaps for selfish reasons, but yes, I do. We are plenty different, yet you remind me a lot of myself."

The vampire chuckled. "Wow, I must _really_ be awful then." He cheekily joked.

I laughed at his wit. "Of course, but not nearly as awful as myself."

"Well," He happily chortled. "You are a force to be reckoned with. I'm not sure that even with all my powers I could contend with your iniquity."

I lightly scraped my fingernails along his scalp, just like I did with Ryan when he was a wee puppy. He always found it so soothing and would whine in his cute little voice for me to continue on when I'd try to stop. "I have no doubt that you'd give me a good run for my money." I mused with a quiet chuckle.

James leaned into my hand to get more of my touch, his mind calm and relaxed. "I want to sign the paper," He murmured under his breath. "But I can't abandon Eric."

"What if I said I'd have him taken care of?" I queried.

The vampire cocked his head. "How so?"

I inhaled a deep breath. "I'm aware that Eric and Riley are quite close, and I'm certainly not ignorant to the fact that there seems to be some sort of threesome going on with those two and Emily, but I can promise not to intervene and if his and my brother's relationship escalates I'll welcome him into the family, because after all, if you're my family, then so is he."

James smiled softly. "Will you love him like family?"

My brows rose. "Not a fucking chance!"

He laughed in response. "You really don't like us Yorkie's, do you?"

"Not at all," I jested... sort of. "But if you're my bouncing baby boy then maybe, perchance, I could scrounge up some love for you. My babies are my world after all."

The vampire laughed even louder. "Like I could ever, _really_, be part of your world."

I shook my head in disagreement and fiddled with the tips of his hair. "When and if you sign that paper it means you're _my_ son. You don't have to think of me as a father, just a friend, though not even that if that's how you feel, but in my eyes you'll be my son and therefore I'll treat you no different than the one I already have." I passionately informed him. I picked up the sheet and placed it back in his lap. "When Ryan became mine all I did was sign a piece of paper, and it was just like this one." I said as I gave the paper a little crinkle for him to hear. "Sure, you're not nearly as cute _and_ you did light me on fire, but I'm willing to look past those things to give you the life you should have had and deserved to begin with. If I did the right thing from day one we'd have never seen a day like this, so I'm determined to get us both out of this mess."

James' mind went straight from calm to startlingly erratic and he pulled away from me along with pushing my hand far away from him. "You're fucking with me." He growled as he tossed the pen across the concrete room. "I don't know what you're trying to get me to sign, but I won't do it!"

He lifted the paper in his two pale hands, yet I snatched it from him before he could tear it in two. "Think about what you're saying, James. I'm king, what the hell would I need you to sign if my intentions were malicious?" I said in an effort to reason with him and his brewing fears. "It sounds frightening, but you are quite literally at my disposal down here. Everybody except a few specially hand picked-guards and Dr. Cullen, believes that you are dead – if I meant you harm, the legality of it would be the last thing on my mind. But, I want you to feel comforted, not scared."

The vampire shook his head as he backed away from me on the couch. "No you don't, you wouldn't. _Couldn't_. I want it to be true, but it sounds far too good to be. Someone like you can't ever love someone like me."

I cocked my head. "Someone like me?" I questioned.

"A king."

The corner of my lip perked, causing a small half smile to form. "Ah, but that's the thing, I wasn't born into this life, I was merely brought into it. I was bred in a petri dish, born in a lab, raised in a white walled room and at night I slept strapped to a hospital bed – I lived that life longer than I've lived this one. I'm more like you than Jacob, Ryan, or Rachel. Being royalty is all they've ever known."

"Wow." He breathed. "So, when you got power you sure ran with it, didn't ya?" I quirked a brow as I cleared my throat, I wasn't the only one around here who had a hard time containing themselves. James gave a look of understanding as he sucked in a breath of stale air. "Oh, uh, yes – me and power... in my defence if you could light fires with your mind, you would too." He made a good point actually.

"So, if _you _were _me_, what would you have done when Paul returned?" I asked with curiosity, because, after all, my actions towards Paul were the main reason for my scars.

"Am I to presume I didn't want the wolf with my dear puppy Ryan?"

I nodded. "Yes."

The vampire grinned. "Awesome!" He said with enthusiasm. "I would have backed the fuck off and let my kid learn from his own mistakes. Not saying Paul is a mistake, but if I'm to think he is and my brat wouldn't listen to me, then the pup's on his own and he's not to come crying to me if he went and got his heart broken. I warned him, I tried, yet at the end of the day it's his life and he's free to fuck it up if he so chooses. I'd also be open to the idea that I was terribly wrong about everything, but I'd deny it of course to save face."

"Well, fuck..." I groaned in shame and an ego crushing amount of embarrassment. "That sure makes a hell of a lot more sense and seems like far less trouble."

"Yeah." He sighed. "You're kinda wacko, your grace. I can't imagine putting the amount of effort you spent on making those two lovebirds miserable into anything. Like, fuck, I didn't even put half of that into trying to off you – it was a Sunday morning stroll in the park in comparison."

I rolled my eyes with a slight chuckle. "Feels like crap to know I was so easy to kill."

"Ah, yes, but like any good superhero I have my weaknesses – Paul's suffering was my kryptonite."

I shuffled close to the vampire and for a third time handed over the sheet of paper. "Sign this, James, join the dark side."

The vampire faintly smiled. "It sounds nice, but is this death star really big enough for the both of us?" I figured by death star he meant palace.

"I told you, you already are family, you belong here; this just makes it official."

"But, I can guarantee that you've never thought of me as a son, nor have you ever considered me family." His slight smile faded into a frown. "I'm not as oblivious as I like to pretend to be. I know you've never actually liked me, also I may have been human, but I wasn't deaf. When I was little I could hear what you and Paul would say about me to each other. I know he didn't like me either."

I furrowed my brows. "What do you mean you heard Paul and I?"

"I remember Paul yelling once because his majesty was allowing Ryan and I to sleep out in the garden for the night in a tent. It was a few days after his tenth birthday, so I must have only been about twelve. I can remember the wolf telling Jacob that I was nothing but a pervert and that I couldn't be trusted alone with Ryan. You took his side – you thought it was inappropriate that your puppy and I sleep together alone. In the end his majesty sent his pack to sleep out there with us, and Paul with his big furry head rested in the foot of the tent never moved; I doubt he slept a wink."

"I remember this now." I adamantly put in. "You wet the bed."

"Jesus." He breathed, though nodded. "Yeah, I was fucking terrified of that wolf. Every time I so much as twitched a muscle he growled at me. I was too scared to get up. It was mortifying. Paul knew almost the second I had the accident – he could scent it. He made a big production of it too. When you came out of the palace because of the commotion you were nice about it, I remember that. You didn't make me feel stupid or anything; it meant a lot to me."

I frowned at the vampire, which made me glad he couldn't it see. I found it sad that something as a little understanding meant a lot to him. "Why would you ever want me to adopt you if you thought I didn't like you?"

The vampire shrugged with a sigh. "In my mind it made sense that you didn't like me. I didn't like me either."

"James..." I breathed.

His head turned my way. "Your grace, have you ever thought about suicide, you know, like really thought about?"

"Yes." I answered truthfully.

He nodded. "Me too, tons... but I never did it because I didn't want to give the people who disliked me the satisfaction... plus, I always had a glimmer of hope for me and Ryan. I always thought that one day, if I just gave it enough time, I'd do something extraordinary that would make me irresistible to the wolf and I'd finally be enough to get Paul out of his head, but then, of course he returned. The second I laid eyes on him I felt my world shatter, I knew I was fucked. I thought about it a lot after that."

"How did you pull yourself out of the slump?" I asked, perhaps to help with my own negative thoughts.

He once again shrugged. "I don't know if I really did. I met Charlie, but I was still always thinking about Ryan. Then when I was knocking on deaths door I had an epiphany of sorts – I felt like I loved Charlie and I didn't want to die. I did die, sort of, but he also saved me, I guess. For the first time in a long time I was really optimistic... when you had sex for the first time, how was it?"

"Amazing – I was in awe of all the feelings my body was capable of."

"Yeah..." He sighed. "Mine was nothing like that. I always imagined it that way, and I thought if I waited for love it would be a mind blowing and life changing experience, but it wasn't even close. I didn't even get off the first time since Charlie didn't want to continue once he did. I was proud of myself for pleasing him though, but I was pretty hurt when he said it would have been better if I was human; I tried to laugh it off... pretend like he was joking. It was after that everything began to change and he wasn't really the Charlie I knew. I honestly tried not to think about it. I had someone telling me they loved me, that I was their mate, and that we were _made _for each other – I refused to complain; I had everything I ever wanted... to an extent. To be honest, I wanted Charlie to look at and treat me like Ryan did Paul. I missed it when Charlie would light up when he saw me like Ryan does every single time he catches sight of his wolf, and when the 'I love yous' started to vanish I became quite jealous of all the times I'd hear Ryan say it to the wolf. I cringed when they'd cuddle while Charlie and I were on the opposite sides of the couch from each other, and when I'd see Ryan pepper Paul with kisses it made me realize just how much Charlie didn't do that with me anymore, but like I said, I was optimistic – he'd told me he loved me, I believed it, and it just made me try even harder with him. I wanted to make him smile as big as Ryan did around Paul... I guess, maybe, I just wanted to be someone's Paul." He pushed the paper off his lap and it fluttered to the floor as he swallowed and turned his body away from mine. "I'm nobodies Paul." He murmured. "Ryan would never cheat on him. I wasn't made for anyone either; when Charlie told me he wanted to be with this other guy, I don't think I've ever felt like a bigger mistake or a fool in my life. It's so fucked up, but I wish I was Paul in every sense of the word. He has my dream life, and I'd endure all he did to get it, especially for Ryan."

I cocked my head only but an inch and gazed at the young vampire. "I've never really understood what it is about Ryan that makes you love him so much."

James smiled. "I dunno." He quietly stated. "I just knew from the very first time I slept at the palace and he snuggled into bed with me that he was the one. I've never felt something more perfect in my arms than him, nor have I tasted lips sweeter – when I looked at him I saw my future, plus nobody could get my heart racing like he did. I swear, from puberty to when Paul came back I felt like I had a constant case of butterflies. In a way it was the best feeling ever."

"How did you feel with Charlie?"

The vampire inhaled a breath with his nose and heavily exhaled through his mouth. "Horny, I had someone who couldn't keep their hands... or mouth off me. I didn't mind giving him the same affection in return either; it was hot watching him get off from the things I was doing to him. I cared about him a lot, but I never felt as if I loved him, not until I was stabbed at the bar and it seemed like I was about to lose it all. At this point, I can't help but think I ought to have been left to properly die. I feel like that should have been my ending, or maybe you should have just killed me when Jacob wanted you to. I can't figure out _why_ I'm still here."

I took James' hand in mine and gave it a squeeze. "Just this past Monday I was parked in the middle of nowhere. I had been sitting there for hours and I had called just about everybody I cared about, nobody answered but Jake. I don't know if it was a coincidence or maybe people were avoiding my number, but it killed... I just wanted people to talk to... to make me think that what I was about to do was stupid. I kept telling my husband how much I loved him; he thought I was being cute, yet I would have been sobbing if I was capable of it. He cut the conversation short since he was in the company of Jasper, which of course, is understandable – I was interrupting, but I was praying that he'd somehow realize what I was up to so he could yell at me about how much of an idiot I was being and that I didn't need to feel the way I was. He hung up the phone without a second thought."

James placed his free hand on top of our two. "What were you doing?" He inquired.

"The clothes I was wearing were drenched in fuel; I had a lighter in one hand and my phone in the other. I had the lighter lit when my phone rang – it was the warden from the prison that you were being kept at on the line. He informed me that you weren't well. I called Dr. Cullen and requested that he go see you as soon as he could schedule it. I cleaned myself up at a hotel and returned home to wait for his call. Yesterday, two days later, you arrived." I gave his hand another squeeze, a thankful one. "You may have almost killed me, but your suffering saved me from making the worst decision of my life, which would have consequently taken it."

With a frown James leaned his head onto my shoulder as he held tightly to my hand with his two. "You're a selfish fuck, my king." I never knew such foul words could be said so sweetly; I couldn't even feel insulted because of it. His tone was kind and caring, and his outward actions made me feel comforted – even his thoughts were those of concern. "What the hell were you thinking?"

I sighed. "It just feels like it would be easier if I was gone."

"Easier for who?"

"Everyone."

Against my shoulder he shook his head in disagreement. "You're not only selfish, but inconceivably stupid. Christ, you're Jacob's imprint – it'd kill him if you took your own life. The wolf will feel like he failed you. I don't doubt that he upsets you on occasion and doesn't notice your feelings sometimes, but cut him some slack; he's the epitome of a man with a dick for a brain." He paused for a moment as he organized his thoughts. "Should I lecture you about putting your shitty feelings before your children."

"Children..." I huffed. "I only wish they'd have stayed little."

"Awe, you poor miserable sod." He condescendingly mocked. "You just want them little so you can have control of their life without them talking back and still thinking you're awesome." That was far too correct for my liking. "If you think they hate you now, imagine how they'd feel if you went and offed yourself. Oh, and your pup and tadpole-"

I pinched my brows together in confusion. "Tadpole?" I interrupted.

"Your daughter." James answered. I seriously hope he didn't just refer to my baby girl as one of my sperm. "Anyway, what I was saying... Rachel and Ryan don't hate you. Firstly, Ryan isn't capable of it and secondly I had a long chit-chat with the princess this morning – she strongly dislikes you, however."

"You what?!" I exclaimed.

"She's a really sweet girl." He said with a grin. "You raised her well." I cocked a brow and gazed at the vampire warily. I adored my daughter, but I wasn't exactly sure if we were talking about the same person. "Did it work?"

"Did what work?" I retorted in question.

"She was quite upset about the fact that she isn't allowed to stay at her mother's overnight. I told her to manipulate the crap out of you and threaten that she'd rat on you about me to his majesty if you didn't let her go. You seemed pretty worried about Jacob finding out about me yesterday, so I figured it was worth a go."

I shoved the leech away from me, though more playfully than anything. "Why the fuck would you do that?"

James tilted his head to the side slightly and I was certain if I could see his eyes he'd either be staring at me like an idiot or a crazy fool. "Because Natalie is her fucking mother and I'd kill for one of those, plus Rachel is a goddamn person. You and Jake can't keep her locked away like a hamster in a cage with only a shitty wheel to run on. I get that you two worry about your little girl, but at the rate you're going she'll be setting you on fire next."

"I don't doubt that." I grumbled under my breath.

"I have no a damn clue what it's like to be father, and I'm sure I never will, so I certainly can't fathom what it's like to have daughter literally grow up in a few short years, but she _is_ grown up, your grace – even I can see it and you've got me blind. She's going stir-crazy. She's lonely as fuck, and the fact that you're repeating the past really drives her up the wall."

"Repeating the past?" I queried.

"Oh come on!" He groaned in exclamation, and he leaned down to feel around on the floor for the paper. He picked it up and handed it over to me. "Switch over the names. I'll adopt you, you clearly need some guidance." I snatched the sheet away from him with a huff and he chuckled as he placed a hand on my knee. "So, _son_," He teased. "The thing is... you're a careless asshole. I know you've realized where you've made mistakes with Ryan and Paul, but are you actually incapable of seeing that you're doing the exact same thing with Rachel and Brady."

I growled in distaste as I thought of the mongrel. "Don't even mention the name."

The vampire laughed. "Why? Does the B-R-A-D-Y word make the wolf magically appear and grope your daughter?"

"Hey," I snapped. "I did him a big goddamn favour by failing to mention to my husband that I caught his beta just about to have _sex_ with our little girl."

"She says she loves him."

"She doesn't know what love is!" I hissed in reply.

He leaned back on the couch and crossed his arms. "She says you threatened Brady's life and now he won't even look her way."

"Damn right I did!" I vehemently attested. "He's a creep, she's just a baby!"

James nodded. "Sure, in your eyes."

"He watched her grow up!"

"Umm..." He hummed. "And, what exactly did Paul do, keep his eyes closed while Ryan aged?"

I shook my head. "That's different."

"No it's not." He quickly asserted. "You're just being hypocritical and trying to make excuses for your bad behaviour. I think you need a time-out."

"What?" I laughed.

"Don't laugh, I'm being serious." A cheeky grin spread across his pale, though handsome face. "You're a terrible a son, Edward; I didn't raise you to be this way! Go to the corner!" He stood and hauled me up with him, leaving the adoption paper behind on the couch. He pushed me toward the wall, where he then felt his way to the corner of the concrete room close to the exit gates and placed me in it. "Now you stay here and think about what you've done, mister." He retraced his steps back to the couch and sat.

"This is ridiculous." I said with a chortle.

"Eh!" He growled at me. "I don't want to hear a peep out of you unless it's to tell me what you've done wrong!" He sternly told me as he laid back on the cushions, flicking the paper to the ground and resting with his hands behind his head.

For the next few minutes purgatory was so quiet it was eerie and I was actually glad I could hear not only his thoughts but my husbands out in the forest with his pack. My wolf was happy as a clam trotting around in the woods, whereas James was waiting for me to tell him Brady was the new Paul. "He's not the new Paul." I huffed in a near whine. "He's the new pain in my ass."

The vampire chuckled. "For a gay man that's not a very good phrase to be using."

"Oh, screw off." I muttered.

James grinned at me. "Whatever, just admit you'd prefer that Rachel was a virginal nun and Ryan was a monk that was devoted to living a life of abstinence."

I smiled at James; there was something about him that just made me happy despite the topic of conversation. "To be honest, that would be my preference, but I understand Ryan and Paul love each other. Whether they have a healthy relationship I _can't_ say."

"Well," He sighed. "Now you've just got to understand that the princess isn't a fucking puppet and like your son she has feelings too, and strong ones... especially for Brady. I don't even see the problem – Brady is a pretty good guy. He visited Paul a bunch at his... old place, with Quil and Seth. He's quite introverted, but other than that, in all the years I've known him he's never given me a bad vibe. He's your husband's beta, if there is anybody you should be able to trust, it's him."

"It's not that I don't trust him-"

"It's that you don't want his cock inside your daughter." He said in interruption, and I scowled at his hideous words. "I get it. I do, but if you spent a little less time thinking about it and a little more time minding your own business I don't think it would bother you half as much. You _need_ to stop thinking about your kids having sex – you're worrying about it so much it's beginning to disgust you and you feel appalled. It's not them wanting a partner that bothers you, it's what they want to do with said partner, and that right there is none of your fucking business. So, s_top_ thinking about it, _stop_ trying to halt the inevitable, and seriously, for the sake of baby Jesus, _stop_ meddling! I swear all parties involved, that means you too, will feel a fuck ton better if you stop giving a damn."

I cocked my head as I stared at the vampire rather incredulously. "Where do you come up with this stuff? How can you read me so well?" I questioned.

The vampire gave a little growl of annoyance. "Shut the hell up and tell me whether or not you're capable of letting Rachel have a life or not."

I pinched my brows together as I thought about it. "I'm her dad, it's my job to meddle and keep her safe."

"Safe from what?"

"_The world_." I vehemently answered.

James let out a bark of laughter. "Eddie," _Eddie?_ "You trying to do the impossible. Life in general hurts, people are dicks, and hearts get broken – it's not going to kill her to experience pain; as a matter of fact, that's all you cause her. She wants to appreciate you, she wants to like you, and she wishes she could do the same with her father, but more often than not he follows your lead, your worries are his worries, and he seems to be convinced just as much as you are that the palace is the only place for the princess. She's jealous because she sees Ryan having a life neither you nor Jacob allow her to have, and now that you've separated her from Brady, the only person she's been able to consider a friend, she's furious. You're not going to win this battle, your grace – the more you try to suppress her, the more she'll lash out. That's just the way it works." He offered up a comforting and reassuring smile. "What are you so afraid of? Why, even with her guards, can't she go out by herself?"

"Because," I huffed, feeling absolutely irritated. "There are bad people out there. She's my baby, she is _my_ responsibility – if I let her out and something happened where the guards weren't able to protect her... I'd never forgive myself."

"Yet, Ryan is out and about without guards."

I sighed and nodded. "Yes, but Paul has saved his life on more than one occasion. He _knows_ when my son's life is in jeopardy – the imprint will protect Ryan."

The vampire sat up and for a second time searched the floor with his fingertips for the adoption paper. "So, basically, you'd let her out if somebody can protect Rachel's life, without a doubt, entirely." With the paper in hand he moved his head around the room as if he was scanning the area for something. "Where the hell is that pen?" I moved from the corner to pick it up from the concrete ground and brought it over to James. He took it in his right hand and after I sat beside him I guided that hand to the line where he needed to place his signature. He turned his head my way. "Is that what you want for Rachel, a _true_ bodyguard that could keep her safe from anything and everything? A bodyguard that would risk his own life, no questions asked, for his princess?"

"In a perfect world, yeah." I said with a nod of my head. "But, there's nobody out there I feel is capable of keeping her safe. I trust the guards she has placed with her now, I know they'd risk their own lives, but when she goes out with her mother I always want to send an army with them – a handful of trained guards can easily be overpowered by enough men. It scares me to think somebody could so easily take her away from me. I've got half the palace guards surrounding Natalie's house right now, yet I hardly feel at ease."

James smiled softly to himself. "But, you let her go to keep me safe from his majesty?"

"Pretty much." I agreed.

His smile widened. "Lucky you did, because I happen to know the perfect person to watch over your daughter." He informed me. "A certain blasphemous leech."

I cocked brow and gazed at him incredulously. "Me?"

The vampire sighed in a way that made me feel stupid. "No dumb fuck." He said as he handed over the pen and paper. "Me."

I swallowed back the venom that flooded my mouth because of my tensing nerves. "You?" I breathed.

He nodded. "You don't really want me as a son, your grace; you just want to quell your guilt, and I can respect that, but I can't take you up on your offer. The last thing I ever want to be is yet another regret of somebody's; though take this thing off me," He solemnly stated as he ran his fingers along the black blindfold. "And there's nothing I can't do for the princess. There's nobody on this earth she'd be safer with. I promise that." My still and silent heart felt like it squeezed the last bit of life out me as it sunk into the bitterest and darkest part of my gut – I despised how he thought he could be a regret, especially one of mine. I did want him as family, and I believed with all my being that he deserved to rise up through the ranks and become a prince that I knew all the people would adore. He'd be a wonderful public figure, an unconventional one, yet a great one.

I didn't really think that I'd be able to convince James that I did indeed wish him to be my son – at least not today. So, I folded the paper and stuck both it and the pen inside the pocket of my pants. "You want to be a guard?" I queried while I tried to imagine it.

"Well," He hummed. "I don't know. I'd never want to be one of those guards who stood around all day by some door – I wouldn't have the patience for that. I mean, I could some days. I'd love to take the princess to places she'd enjoy visiting without an army of guards following her every move. I think she'd really appreciate being able to blend in, let loose, and have some fun." The vampire shot me a grin. "Also, feel free to use me for all the top secret stuff you want. I wouldn't tell a soul." He made a motion like he was locking his lips and throwing away the key. "I know some crazy shit must go on behind the scenes."

I chuckled at James and how rambunctious he seemed to be. I'd love him to be without the mask and outside of purgatory so I could see what he was really like. I hardly knew... I never previously paid him much attention. "Wouldn't you like to know." I teased with a smile of my own. "But, James, if guarding Rachel is something you really want it's definitely something to strive toward." I was surprised by my own words, though I knew without a doubt that he was right about one thing he said: there's nobody on this earth that she'd be more safe with. I trusted that with his powers any threat to my daughter would be nullified... it was just a matter of trusting him.

The vampire grinned brighter than I've ever seen. "Seriously?!" He questioned in exclamation.

I gave a nod of my head. "Yes, but I'd like to see you two together and have her get to know you better. If you're going to be responsible for her I want to see how the both of you get along together – any sign of friction and I don't believe it will work, especially if you're with her on your own. She can be... _difficult, _to say the least."

"Nah!" He said as he waved me off. "She's a good girl. Besides, she's the one that asked me if I'd want to be her guard when I got out of here." He gave my arm a slight shove and chuckled. "I figured it was a pretty bitchin' career opportunity – I couldn't pass it up."

I squinted my eyes while I gazed at the vampire. "Wait, she asked you? Why?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. Rachel said she overheard you on the phone the other day with Dr. Cullen and that's how she found out I was alive and would be coming here. I think she thinks you have a bit of a soft spot for me and because of my powers you'd consider me to protect her." He gave me another playful little shove. "She's right, right?"

I gave him a good push back, which he obviously didn't see coming, so it made him flop to the side. "Right." I said with a small chortle.

With a shake of his head and breathy chuckle the vampire sat upright. "You really are evil... abusing the disabled. You should be ashamed!" He happily jested. "You're lucky I don't have one of those stick things blind people have; I'd beat you with it!" He joyfully laughed.

I let out a bark of laughter. "I actually think I deserve to get a few good punches in!"

James guffawed. "Oh yeah?!" He menacingly, though playfully exclaimed as he got to his feet that were bare against the concrete floor. "You wanna go?"

I laughed at the vampire. "So, what? You're a tough guy now?"

He smiled cheekily. "Compared to the pussy I'm in the presence of? Fuck ya!"

I stood and let out a huff of breath. "You have _no_ idea who you're calling a pussy."

"I know exactly who I'm calling a pussy, _my king_." Why does everyone always mock my title when they are trying to get under my skin? Sure, they can go ahead and get lippy, but I'm still king and they're still _not_.

James took a step closer to me as he peeled off his shirt and dropped it to the couch, leaving him topless and my eyes wandering over his milky white torso. "What are you doing?" I worriedly queried.

"What does it look like?" He mumbled, and he took yet another step closer to me, his body only inches from mine and lifted a hand to run his porcelain like fingers along the length of cheek.

"Uh, to be honest," I awkwardly began. "It looks an awful lot like you're trying to seduce me."

A disgusted expression crossed his face as he ripped his hand away from me. "Oh..." He breathed. "Ew, oh god no! Get your mind out of the gutter you crazy ass pervert! I was seeing where your face was, you know, so I could punch it, and I took off my shirt so I can feel the changes in air pressure around me as you move – it helps me tell where you are."

"Ew?!" I exclaimed in question.

The vampire laughed. "That's all you heard, isn't it?"

I shuffled through his disorganized thoughts. It reminded me a lot of what my room would look like if I didn't follow my husband around in the mornings to pick up after him. "Seriously, why ew? Is it the scars?" I asked with concern.

He shook his head. "Dude, I haven't even seen your scars," Oh, yeah, right. "And you're '_ew_' because you're Ryan's dad."

"If I wasn't?"

He gave another shake of his head, along with a loud sigh. "Sorry, whiny little bitch isn't my type." I felt my heart sink even lower than it already was with his retort. It's not that I wanted the guy to be attracted to me; I just wanted to hear a compliment, even if it was a lie.

I feigned a chuckle. "Okay." Was all I managed to say.

"Oh, for fuck sake's, man, that melancholy tone is almost enough to make me puke. Don't take everything so seriously." He reached out with his right hand and brushed his fingers across my lips. "Smile." I forced an awkward smile onto my face at his request and he swept his fingertips along the curve of my mouth. He sighed and shook his head. "No, like you mean it. Think of your kids or something." Once again I did as instructed and I thought of the very first time I saw Ryan and the way his little hand curled in mine when we walked through the palace halls. I reminisced about the day Rachel was born and the way her perfect little body fit wonderfully in my arms as I cradled her close. The pride I felt when she opened her eyes for the first time and looked up at me was indescribable – she was the most magnificent thing I'd ever seen.

The vampire touched his fingers to my lips for a third time and traced his way along them. "Yeah, just like that." He said as he dropped his pale, yet muscular arm back to his side. "As I got older I saw you smile less and less. It was my favourite thing about my king. His smile could light up an entire room – it was so friendly, but innocent; naive in a way. It was as if he didn't know what he smiling or even laughing about; he was just happy for the sake of being happy." An air of sadness surrounded him as he sucked in a breath and ran his hand through his hair. "I can remember being around ten-years-old and practising that smile in the mirror. I thought if I could look that happy I'd have to feel it too. Turns out I'm a natural at this laughing and smiling thing, not so much the happy part, though. By the time I was seventeen or so I could tell your smile had become as fake as mine. It hurt to see, partly because the happiest person I'd ever known wasn't anymore and it made me wonder if I could ever truly be, and partly because, just like me, nobody could see how pained you were."

"How on earth could you have possibly known?" I questioned with great interest.

"Your eyes, they lost that childlike sparkle they had. Instead you looked distant." He pressed a hand to my upper arm and ran it down the length of it. I'd have never known he was touching me if I couldn't see it with my own two eyes. "At least your numb now. You hardly have to feel a thing."

I shook my head in disagreement. "I feel trapped more than anything. It's like I'm locked in a cage and nobody can reach through the bars to touch me."

James frowned. "What about sex?" He queried.

"What about it?" I asked in reply.

"Can you?"

"Yes, technically." I answered. "I, uh, can't get hard though... or cum."

"Fuck..." He breathed. "Not even with prostate stimulation? When I had my fingers just right Charlie could hardly last a minute."

Again I shook my head while feeling exceptionally humiliated. "No, it just feels uncomfortable with a limp penis that can't feel a thing."

"Oh, hmm..." James hummed with his thoughts flying by faster than I could catch them. He moved his arm forward, his hand meeting my abdomen, and it slipped lower until he tugged on the hem of my shirt. "Take this off."

I raised my brows and I pushed his hand away from me. "No way!" I hissed.

"Come on, your grace, let me feel your scars." He pleaded as he tried to step closer to me.

I roughly shoved him back. "Get away from me!" I snapped at him. Even standing next to a blind man I felt extraordinarily self-conscious.

"Jesus, calm the fuck down, Mr. Bi-Polar," He breathed while he regained his composure. "I'm just trying to help you." He insisted. He slowly came into my personal space and gently turned me around so my back was facing him. "I'll make everything better." He seemingly promised. "Take your shirt off."

"But-"

"With all due respect, your grace, shut the fuck up and do as I say... _please_." Yeah, like the 'please' makes him sound any more polite. He felt for my hand and when he found it he pushed it against the bottom of my shirt. "Strip."

"Why do you I get the strange sense that I'm being violated in some way." I said with a halfhearted little chuckle.

James chuckled himself as I removed my shirt and tossed it on the armrest of the couch. "Don't act like you wouldn't like it." He teased

I shot him a dirty look over my shoulder, not that he could see it. "What do you take me for, some whore?" I asked in jest.

"Depends on your definition of the word." He chortled as pressed his two hands to my shoulder blades. "I've seen you eye fuck the hell out of plenty poor and unsuspecting souls; namely my brother."

I gasped and fervently shook my head while his hands made their way down the hills and valley of my scars. "Fuck that!" I yelled. "Are you insane?!"

He motioned for me to turn around and I did so. "I'm kidding!" He exclaimed with loud bubbly laughter as he placed his hands on my chest. "Hold still, this might feel weird."

I smirked at the vampire. "Why, are we about to kiss?" I teased.

He smiled rather playfully. "Why, ya wanna?"

I snorted with an amused chortle at his ludicrous question. "You're lucky I can't sleep or I'd have nightmares because of that thought."

"Yeah," James deadpanned. "Says the leech who's gayer than jizz on a moustache."

My brows raised and my eyes widened. "What?!"

"Nothing." He said with a chuckle. "Don't move." He pressed his palms harder into my chest and I instantly began to feel an uncomfortable tingle beneath them. "I don't think this will hurt, but what do I know?"

"Excuse me?" I breathed as I flicked my vision to his pale hands and sifted through his thoughts, which gave me no indication as to what he was up to.

"Shh, relax. Let me concentrate." He instructed before falling silent. His mind went dark, like he shut off the lights in his house before leaving home – there wasn't a creak of the floorboards, a hum of the fridge, or even the pitter-patter of mice in the attic. This went on for what felt like an eternity as a strange heat rose under his palms that caused the skin he was touching to feel itchy and inflamed – I really had to force myself not to pull away or hit his hands from my body. I had a odd desire to see what he was attempting.

As time ticked on it began to feel like fire was brewing under his palms and I was unable to hold my pained whimpers back. "Almost done." He whispered in reassurance. I was sure it was only a minute or two before he sharply yanked his hands away from me with a big handsome smile on his face, though it seemed like much longer. "Feel any different?" He asked.

I shook my head. "Not a bit."

The vampire cocked his head. "How about now?" He queried as he roughly swung his fist and hit me right between the legs.

I crumpled forward as the wind whooshed from my lungs and I cupped my throbbing genitals in my hands. "What the fuck, James?!" I exclaimed in agony.

A pleased smirk donned his lips. "You can thank me later, your grace." As I listened to his arrogant words and smug tone, that's when it clicked, I could feel the fucking pain! I instantly righted my posture and patted myself all over – my legs, my arms, my back and neck... anywhere there were scars I touched, and everywhere I touched, I _felt_.

"James!" I cried, I couldn't possibly convey all the gratitude I had. "Thank you!"

He chuckled and shrugged. "Whatever, as a fellow dick bearer, I couldn't let another man suffer like that – even if I did almost murder you." He gave me a goofy smile and my arm a friendly squeeze which I revelled in the feel of. "It just seems _wrong_ to take a man's ability to fuck away... his life, well that can be debated. You know what this means though, right?" That the second I left purgatory I was going in search of my husband in the forest with the only intention of sex the moment I found him? I didn't think Jake would mind in the least... his pack, however, well, they'll need to bugger off for a bit.

"What does it mean?" I asked in an effort to play along.

"I think I'm Jesus!" He jested.

I laughed with a shake of my head. "And, that, what, makes your mother the virgin Mary?"

His nose crinkled. "So, perhaps it's more plausible I'm the Devil's spawn." He corrected.

"That would explain your unholy love for fire."

"Hey," He giddily protested. "You sinners gotta burn, and if I'm the only one with the balls big enough to throw the match, then so be it."

I quirked a brow. "Should I start referring to you as the antichrist then?" I playfully questioned.

He happily smiled. "Awe, that's cute, but no; James or Jamie will do just fine – I want people to be surprised when they feel my wrath."

I chuckled in response. "Should I be worried?"

He shook his head. "Nah, I've got your back, your grace." His face brightened and he grinned. "Which reminds me!" The lights flickered and faded until it the room became nothing but an sea of inky blackness.

Like a child afraid of the dark I reached forward until my hand circled around his wrist. "Tell me that was you." I pleaded. I couldn't see a thing. At night I could see like it was day, yet the kingdom was lit by the moon and stars. Now I was underground, in virtually a square box, and just as blind as the vampire before me.

"Uhh, what was me?" He queried.

I pressed myself to him in fear with my nails digging into his tough flesh as I clung to him. "Tell me your fucking kidding!" I exclaimed.

The vampire burst out into laughter as he shoved me away. In my fretful daze I tripped over my own two feet and collided with the couches armrest with my backside and toppled over it. With a loud thump, my body hit the concrete floor which caused James to laugh even louder. "Oh geez, your grace, I'm fucking sorry!" He apologized through his guffawing. I heard the shuffling of his feet as he moved toward me and then felt his fingers on my leg as he searched for me. I found his hand and he pulled me up to my feet. "Yeah, I turned the lights off." He admitted. "If I remember correctly I was about to give you a good ass whooping. I thought I would even scores a little by making you as blind as me."

"The dark scares me, James." I told him honestly. I didn't care if he thought I was a pussy because of it; I wanted the lights back on.

I heard him sigh. "The dark scares me too, Edward, but you don't hear me complaining. I understand why you want to keep my eyes covered, but right now you'd be a dead leech if I wanted you to be; also, you'd be fucked if the lights went out down here and you were by yourself."

"I haven't a clue what you're trying to say."

"You're king, you need to know how to protect yourself in every situation, especially the ones way outside your comfort zone, like here in the pitch dark." James sounded an awful like Paul earlier today when he was telling me to get new guards. I think I just found the perfect one. Rachel is going to have to learn to share if she likes him just as much as I do. "The end of the couch, it's a foot and a half away to your right, and the wall... seven paces to your left – remember that or you're going to get all turned around." James gave my hand a squeeze that I hadn't yet mustered the courage to let go of. "Once I'm done with you, your grace, if somebody jabs your pretty little eyeballs out of your face, you'll still be able to kick their ass. I swear on my own two balls." I smiled to myself. I had no idea why the vampire even cared about my safety; his thoughts didn't give me any hints, but they did show me that he did indeed care, and despite our previous 'disagreement' a year or so ago it felt nice to have someone on my side. It felt great to be in someone's company who actually wanted me there. It felt wonderful knowing I was making a friend and hopefully, one day, sooner rather than later, he'd sign the paper and I'd have another son.


	57. Chapter 57

_Thank you hopelessromantic5, this chapter would have NEVER gotten done without you and your dirty mind!_**  
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**Warning: multiple orgasms ahead_  
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**Chapter Fifty-seven  
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_Point of View: Ryan**  
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Paul sucked in quick breaths through his nose while his large hands gripped me tightly, holding me close to him, which made me feel as if I was floating off to heaven. His lips were hungrily devouring mine, and his low assertive growls was evidence enough that he and his cock badly wanted what my mouth was capable of. He hadn't a clue where we were and I'd only very briefly gave him a tour of our new home without giving him much of an explanation as to whose house we were in.

I was quick to bring him to the master bedroom – it was nothing fancy like you'd find in the palace, but it was beautiful with its high pine ceilings and accents. Paul was a minimalist at heart and I tried my best to make our bedroom a place he'd enjoy. At the end of our bed was a stone fireplace with a bookcase to the left of it and a modest entertainment centre to the right. A beige sofa that matched the creamy coloured carpet sat against the right wall by the entrance and to the opposite side were large windows with a set of double doors between them that lead to a balcony that faced acres of forest that we owned. I left the bedding simple and decided against expensive fabrics and chose a nice white, black, and grey theme for our bed. As for the walls, I hadn't a clue what colour would suit my wolf's taste best. I knew his favourite to be green, but I was hardly going to paint the room that colour. So, in the end I picked the easy way out of a hard decision and stuck to a basic white.

He mentioned nothing of the room when we had entered and was happy to let me guide him to the bed – I was pretty certain he just wanted the two of us naked and cumming; I doubted very much that he cared where, or in this case, who's house it happened in. I had every intention of just sitting and talking with my wolf, though clearly he had other things on his mind. Paul was horny, but too bad for him he'd just have to wait until later to get his rocks off.

I straddled my wolf's waist while grinding against his clothed member as I pinned his arms above his head by his wrists with a big smile on my face. "You look gorgeous all riled up, Paulie."

He rubbed his pelvis against my bottom and a groan of his turned into a low growl as he stuck a hand under my shirt and ran it along my side. "And you look beautiful above me," He mused. "But, you'd look even better naked with your face between my legs." Subtle, darling, very subtle.

"Horny bastard." I teased.

He smirked up at me. "Angel, you've got no idea." His sexy smirk faded into a curious smile. "So, are you going to tell me whose bed you're going to suck my dick on?" He lasciviously questioned. For a moment the world stilled and my heart began to race. I let go of Paul's wrists as I tried to swallow away the fear of him rejecting me and what I had to offer. His brows furrowed as he felt my mood shift to one of apprehension. "Sweetheart, what's wrong?" He asked in a tone that was smothered in concern, yet only served to make me feel worse. I did _not_ want to disappoint him.

I kissed his lips to feel his love before I mustered up enough courage to lean to the left to open the top drawer on the bedside table. I pulled out a small black leather box and placed it on his chest. "You know how much I love you, right?" I queried. God, I had to be out of my mind with what I was about to do, but I wanted it... I wanted _him_ so damn badly. While he was in the hospital I spent months trying to muster up the courage to do this when he was out. Well, I'm doing it and I pray it's not a mistake – it'd break my heart if I scared him away.

Paul stared wide eyed at the box for a few excruciatingly long moments before settling them back on mine. "Yes, I do." He answered.

I faintly smiled, even though I felt like I might pass out... or puke. In this situation, I'd prefer the former. "And you know that no matter what, I'm always going to be yours?" I anxiously questioned. He nodded without giving me a verbal answer. "I want you to be mine too." I added.

"I am." He assured me.

"I mean in every way." I pushed the box up an inch or two, silently asking him to open it.

He flicked his eyes between me and the box. "What is it?" He mumbled. He did _not _look amused and I was beginning to think this was terrible idea and way too soon; but, as it were, there was no going back, so I opened the small black box for him to reveal a white gold ring of a wider variety with two wolves surrounded by a forest of trees engraved on it with a long chain attached through the loop of it. I watched the bob in Paul's throat as he stared at it all. "A ring?" He breathed. "For me?"

"Yes." I said with a nod.

My wolf appeared flabbergasted and lost for words. "Uh, Ryan, what's it for?" He hesitantly inquired.

I got to my knees at his side, took hold of the box and pulled him into a sitting position. I removed the ring by its chain, placed it around my wolf's neck, and forced myself to smile despite being terrified of his upcoming answer. "Paul, I would love nothing more in this whole wide world than for you to be my husband." I confessed to him. "I've been in love with you since I was too young to even understand what love is, but now that I'm grown you'd make the happiest wolf on earth if you say that you'll be mine."

His eyes widened and he gazed at me like I had grown a second head. "Tell me you're not actually proposing."

"I, umm, yeah, I am actually." I worriedly stated.

My wolf darted his eyes around the room. "What is all this shit? Whose house is this?"

There was no beating around the bush now. "Ours." I informed him.

His brows furrowed and he shook his head. "I didn't pay for any of this! I wouldn't pick this house for us!"

I nodded in understanding and apprehensively sighed. "I picked it. I know it's not exactly what you envisioned for us, but imagine the family we could raise here – it'd be perfect, don't you think?"

Everything fell silent in the room except for our rapid heartbeats as he stared at the ring around his neck in absolute disbelief. "I... I don't know what don't know what to say." He murmured without moving his eyes from the ring.

I laid a hand on his knee, which got his attention and his gaze slowly moved to mine. "Yes would be the preferable response."

The expression on his face brightened and hope swelled in my chest. "This home would be perfect for a big family." A soft smile appeared on his lips. "I saw a river out back through one of the windows – I could teach my boys to fish, even swim, in my own backyard. How much land do we have?"

"Enough for you and our future pups to get up to all sorts of no good." I happily assured him with my own smile forming.

He delightedly smiled as he wrapped his fingers around his ring and held in his palm. "It all led me right here."

I cocked my head in slight confusion. "What did?"

"My past." He told me, yet his smile faded none. He rose to his knees and I found myself being pulled into an emotional embrace. "Oh god, sweetie, I'd do it all again for you. You're everything to me."

I circled my arms around him to hold my wolf tightly. "Marry me, Paul." I was practically begging, but I hardly cared. He was the love of my life; a fact I've known since I was just a puppy. It was finally time to truly make him mine.

My wolf squeezed my body impossibly close to his as his warm copper cheek nuzzled mine. "Yes, a thousand fucking yeses." He moved his head back to capture my lips in a zealous and loving kiss. My nerves were shot the second I heard that yes, and even though his mouth was kissing me like he was making love to my lips, I could hardly kiss back. After everything Paul had been through, after years of thinking he'd never come back, after so many things that should have made this moment impossible I was _almost _getting my fairytale ending, yet there was a very important missing piece to this puzzle that made what should be a joyous occasion fill me with nothing but guilt.

Paul removed his lips from mine as he held my face in my hands and with the pads of his thumbs he brushed away tears I hadn't even noticed I spilt. "You're sad." He murmured to me.

"James." I whispered while the tears kept on coming. "He deserved a moment like this more than I ever did."

He pressed warm kisses to my cheeks and one to the tip of my nose. "You gave me a love I never thought I was capable of, plus a life I thought was impossible for myself. I know I've often gone backward instead of forward, but ever since that first second I saw you in the surgical room down in purgatory after I stopped that truck for you, I knew, I really _really_ knew that a life without you in it would be meaningless, though I never could have fathomed just how much I needed you in it. You're my angel, because you alone saved me – without you as my imprint the inner struggle would have never felt worth it... I'd have never felt worth it." My wolf leaned in and stole many little kisses from my lips, yet when he came back to look into my eyes I saw that his were just as teary as mine. "You are the one person in my life that has never failed me... your parents... my parents... James and the fire... they failed. Ever since you were a puppy you were my strength when I had none, maybe that's because I could always feel the alpha in you, and, sweetie," With watery eyes he gazed around the room. "As much as I wish I could have been the one to give you all this, you _can't_ possibly imagine how good it feels to be taken care of. You make me feel like nobody could ever love someone more than you love me."

I nodded in agreement with my head still in his perfectly big hands. "Nobody could." I quietly cried. "I love you so much, Paulie. All I want is to make you the happiest wolf alive."

He nodded too with oddly beautiful tears streaming down his cheeks as he ran his fingers through the sides of my hair. "I really don't think you have any idea how perfect you are in my eyes – there's nobody more deserving of their dreams coming true than you." He quietly told me, yet his nose began to crinkle and his eyes squinted under the heavy weight of tears. He took his hands from my face and used them to cover his as he fought to hold back sobs. "When you put me in the hospital I didn't think things would ever be the same between us; I thought for sure I had lost you." I gently pushed his hands away from him to hold them in my own so I could see his face. He slowly shook his head as more tears fell. "I thought I'd fucked up so big that you'd never see me in the same light again... I thought I blew it." I shook my head in disagreement; that was absolutely impossible. I'd always be here. "But, there you were; day after day you showed up to be with me despite my horrendous state of mind. You let me cry, you let me scream, you even put up with me calling you all sorts of terrible names – you'll never know just how grateful I am that you didn't listen to me when I begged you to let me out of there. I only wish someone would have done that for me over a decade ago. I missed out on a lot and let you down in a too many ways. It would have been nice to watch my imprint grow into a man and for me to become the wolf you always wanted when you reached sixteen."

I smiled at my beautiful wolf. "Don't regret anything between us. I've got you now, that's all that matters." I assured him.

Paul smiled softly through his drying tears and pulled me between his legs as he scooted backward and rested his back on the pine headboard that matched the accents of the room. He ducked his head to nuzzle his damp cheek against mine while his arms rounded my waist and I leaned my back against his muscular chest. "I'm all yours, angel." He vehemently insisted. "I wouldn't have it any other way." He hugged me close and buried his face in the crook of my neck.

I clasped his hands in mine and hugged his arms that held me snugly. "We're home, Paulie." I quietly remarked.

I felt him smile against my skin. "Yes we are, and soon enough I'm going to marry the fuck out of you."

I chuckled at his response. "Then one day we'll have puppies." I added. The thought scared me to no end, but I knew my wolf loved the idea, and despite knowing that I'm going to be so out of my element and perhaps even a complete failure at raising pups, I want Paul to have absolutely everything he wanted out of life. If he wanted puppies, he'd get puppies.

"Mhmm," He hummed with a slight nod of his head. "Dozens of puppies."

My brows raised on their own volition as I laughed at his comment. "I was thinking more along the lines of _two_ or _three_."

"Uh-huh, two or three _dozen_." He said with a chuckle, and he lifted his head to press a happy kiss to my cheek. "Have you thought about when you want to have the wedding?" He excitedly questioned.

I shook my head and craned my neck to meet his eyes. "Not at all; why do you ask?"

My wolf grinned. "Puppies, that's why. I figure once we are we should start looking for a surrogate – I don't doubt Emily will give us some of her eggs, so at least we don't have to worry about that."

I chortled at my wolf. "You're joking right?"

His gaze turned confused. "Joking about what?" He asked. Oh, good god, he wasn't joking.

I turned my eyes away from his as pure unadulterated fear rose in my chest. "You want a family right away?"

Paul gave my hands a squeeze. "I don't see the point in waiting."

My brows furrowed and I unravelled his arms from around me to turn and face him. "You _just_ got out of the hospital a few hours ago; I kinda think puppies should be the last thing on your mind."

His eyes squinted and he appeared insulted. "Do you not think I'm stable?"

"Of course I do!" I passionately insisted. The question was how long he'd remain that way. I knew we'd hit bumps in the road along the way; my wolf wasn't 'cured', he'd never be cured, and the last thing I wanted to do was worry about a puppy and his mental health at the same time. "But, do you honestly think that even in a few years from now that you'd be ready?"

He confidently nodded. "I'm ready now. Besides you, there's nothing I want more out of life than to be a dad. It'd give me the most amazing purpose, don't you think?"

I swallowed nervously. "What about me, though?"

"What about you?" He queried.

"What if I'm not ready?"

His face brightened and he gave me a reassuring smile. "You are." He insisted, yet those words were hardly reassuring at all.

"I'm not even nineteen." I put in.

"You will be in a few months, plus we both know age means nothing." My eyes widened in fear – my wolf seemed so sure of all this. Yet, abruptly he snorted and chuckled as he leaned forward to give my lips a tender little kiss. "Sweetheart, you look like you're about to shit yourself." My cheeks flamed pink and I scurried off the bed to create some distance so he wouldn't be able to smell the embarrassment I'm sure I reeked of.

"Hey, where do you think you're going?" He called after me. I turned around to meet his gaze as he followed me off the bed and he smiled like I was truly the most beautiful he'd ever seen. "If you don't think you're ready, tell me."

"But-" I started, I didn't want to disappoint him, yet he shushed me by putting his index finger across my lips.

"I'm a patient man, Ryan; we'll have puppies when you decide we're _both_ ready."

"I feel awful." I sighed in confession. "Especially if you think you're ready."

"Mm, don't..." He hummed and he embraced me in his arms. "I've thought a lot of crazy things in my lifetime, this could very well be another one of them. We'll work on making a family when you say so."

My tense body slumped in his arms as my nerves relaxed – I don't think I'd ever felt so relieved in my life. "You sure you're okay with that?" I queried.

My wolf nodded and grinned down at me while I gazed up at him in awe – my gorgeous _fiance_ was holding me like it'd be impossible to let me go even if he tried. "I trust your judgement. You've gotten us this far. You know what's best for me." I grinned just as widely as he when I heard those words, yet both our smiles were lost as Paul's lips caressed mine softly and with the assurance of a man who knows he is loved, needed and utterly desired.

His warm hands held my face between them, like he couldn't believe it was me and needed the reassurance. Our bodies flush against each other fit perfectly, our hearts beating almost in tandem. This had turned into the most perfect moment, but after all, most moments spent with my wolf felt that way. I would give anything to be able to make Paul understand that, physically, I'm ready to be his. I know he still has insecurities and fears but he has come so far and he needs to realize that in my eyes he is nothing but the man I love, the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. If he only knew how much I want, no, needed to be his in _every_ way…

He is not making it any easier on me either; his hips swaying slightly from side to side create the most delicious friction. Doesn't he know he is driving me crazy? I'm two seconds away from pushing him onto the bed and ordering him to make love to me, I would never, but that's how I feel. I swear he is doing it on purpose; he has to feel my dick poking his hip. Leaving one hand on my neck he moved the other to my back where he ever so slowly moved it along the length of it. Upon reaching the bottom of my shirt he slipped his hand under the fabric coming in contact with my overheated skin. The sensation of the pads of his fingers caressing my hungry flesh was strong enough that if I didn't have my arms around his waist I could topple over.

Not wanting to be selfish I got to work on Paul's neck kissing his pulse point, feeling as it would get faster and stronger with each kiss. I worked my way up to his ear where I sucked on the ear lobe eliciting a soft moan from his lips. I could spend the rest of my life doing nothing except tasting Paul's skin; I could seem obsessive to some, yet to me it feels perfectly normal. I threaded my fingers in his hair, the soft inky locks begging me to touch them. I moved back slightly and placed my hands on the bottom hem of my shirt, which I took off and tossed aside. My hands began working on the buttons of his shirt at the same time I untucked it from his pants. I needed to feel more of him; I needed his hot flesh against mine.

My lips wandered once more to his ear where I teased the sensitive spot right behind and below it. I flicked my tongue down his neck and peppered his chest with butterfly kisses. My hands travelled to his pants where I struggled to open the button while flicking my tongue on the turgid nubs of his nipples. I was filled with satisfaction when I felt him shiver; if only he would give me a chance I could show him how good my body could be to his.

Paul tried to grab my hand to guide it to his throbbing erection, but I wouldn't have that, it was too much fun to watch him suffer. He groaned when I ignored his efforts and I had to hide the smirk that appeared as a result. I lifted the little tab of his zipper and opened it sliding off the restrictive garment. Paul stepped out of them and was left with only his boxer briefs. He removed my pants as well but much faster, he had no patience for subtleties.

I felt myself being pushed towards the bed and Paul knelt before me. He was relentless in his teasing, kissing my thighs, getting as close as he could to the centre without actually touching the bulge that had formed. My dick was threatening to poke out of my boxers. I just wanted Paul to get it in his mouth, to feel his incredible moist cavern as he engulfed all of me. I reached to his head to guide it exactly where I wanted it but he captured my hands and held them to my sides. He was taking charge of the situation and I was more than happy to comply. His lips went to work over the fabric of my boxers leaving small wet spots over the front.

Before I could conjure the thought Paul had removed my boxers and my erect member stood up proudly. Just Paul's touch would make me get bigger than I ever thought possible and watching him licking his lips as he inspected my throbbing member made it even more pleasurable. I placed my hands behind me on the bed and rested back separating my legs to give him easy access. His tongue was hot on the sensitive skin of my sack; he sucked it delicately bringing first one ball into his mouth and then the other. I closed my eyes to increase the perception of pleasure – it was so good, Paul really knows how to use his mouth.

I looked down to see my wolf nibbling on me like I was a delicacy. He must have felt my eyes on him because he smiled up at me; his eyes sparkling with mischief. He closed his fist around the base of my cock all while observing my reaction; I bit my bottom lip and closed my eyes again. The delicious sensation of his lips surrounding the tip of my blood engorged member didn't stay in that segment of flesh, I felt it all over. I bucked my hips in an effort to increase the contact. He nipped, licked and sucked the warm flesh making my breath come out in pants as he increased the pressure and speed. He would bring as much of me as he could into his mouth only to pull out until only the tip remained. Every once in a while he would pop it out of his mouth and swirl his tongue all over the sensitive head. His tongue slipped into my slit slightly and his teeth scrapped lightly across the top. I tilted my head back and struggled to find my breath, I wanted to last, I didn't want this to end but Paul was just too good. He noticed my dilemma and applied pressure to the base of my penis to stall my release.

I knew he was scared, I could sense that every time he touched me and I touched him was a fight against his demons. But, I know that one by one and with plenty time, each one of those demons will disappear, and each bad experience will be substituted with a good one and at the end all that will remain are the memories of our wonderful life together. Paul swallowing me right to the base took me out of my internal reverie. He bobbed his head up and down taking a little more of me inside his mouth each time. The pleasure was overwhelming taking over each one of my senses. Watching his head move up and down while my member disappeared inside his mouth while listening to the sounds he was producing all while the scent of our shared arousal filled the room. I gripped the sheets bunching them under my palms, arched my back and threw my head back while a loud moan escaped my lips as I felt my cum ride up my cock. My body pumped wave after wave of my seed into my lover's mouth. He swallowed every drop not wasting any of it. My breathing was frantic, my chest rising and falling in sync with it.

I expected Paul to stand up or even lay down on the bed pulling me into his strong arms. Instead he surprised me by taking my still sensitive member and began giving it light licks once I'd managed to settle down a bit. I was still semi-hard even after my strong release and in no time stood rock hard once more. I couldn't even guess what was going on inside Paul's mind; he was not even trying to get me to pleasure him. Not that I needed any encouragement, but he was acting almost like he didn't want me to touch him. Thankfully I couldn't have been more wrong.

My wolf stood up before me, I was certain he was going to gather his clothes and call it a night. Everything changed the instant our eyes connected; the lust behind those enchanting brown eyes was undeniable. Placing one knee on the bed he got impossibly close to me, I felt a shiver run down my spine when his hard shaft poked my stomach. I felt the moisture of the tip as it rubbed against my skin. He bent forward and captured my lips with his. I granted him entrance even though he didn't request it. I was happy to open my mouth and feel his tongue invade it, brushing it against my own. He tasted so delicious, it was addicting, sinful even. I pushed his tongue out of my mouth and pushed my own inside his. It was a give and take that was escalating slowly to something big and unexpected.

Paul climbed on the bed positioning himself behind me. Surrounding my small frame with his arms he fervently indulged my neck. Kissing and nipping the sensitive flesh while his manhood stood proudly against my back. His hands roamed over my chest stopping to twist the pink buds which hardened instantaneously. I squealed in pleasure and pain, he really knew how to make my whole body buzz with just a touch. My mate's hands were claiming every inch of my skin they could reach, if only he would put out the flames of this desperate need. As if reading my thoughts and in an attempt to torture me he rubbed his engorged member on my back, the scent of his arousal stronger with every passing minute. I let out a low moan and ran my hands over Paul's arms, feeling as his muscles flexed under my palms.

I whimpered when the warmth of Paul's body disappeared, I knew it was too good to be true. When I looked back to see what was going on I was pleasantly surprised to see my future husband sprawled on the bed, sexy as fuck, and more importantly… _all mine_. I hesitated for one second before crawling on the bed to get to his side. His painfully hard member was leaking pre-cum and begging for attention. I could return the favour and give him a blow job but dismissed that in the name of originality. His eyebrows rose on his forehead when instead of going for the obvious I straddled him, one leg on each side – he said himself he enjoyed the view with me like this. I bent forward kissing my way up to his lips. Starting on the patch of pubic hair that crowned his weeping cock I kissed his abdomen, followed by his chest where I elicited a moan out of him when I flicked my tongue on his nipples. Reaching his neck I enjoyed sucking his Adams apple while grinding my erection against his. He let out a moan whilst panting shallowly, his gorgeous eyes closed and his rosy lips slightly parted.

I began to thrust against him while his hands caressed the bare skin of my back. Even through half lidded eyes his intense gaze was hypnotic. Paul writhed beneath me, moaning and whimpering in wanton. My hands pressed into the mattress on either side of his chest. My lips on his, soft closed mouth kisses that were slow and juicy. His moaning became louder as we continued rubbing our erections together, wanting each other like we've never wanted anyone else and we never will. I could feel the all too familiar tightening in my balls but wouldn't dare entertain the idea of cumming, with some luck I will get a shot at it again but only after Paul was done.

We achieved a good rhythm rubbing our cocks together, kissing and touching. I had long since discovered that Paul loved it when I kissed his neck and his chest and I took advantage of that. His neck felt silky to my lips, the soft stubble tickling my lips lightly. His amazing scent filled my nostrils making it even harder to hold myself together and not let loose. I was astounded as to how into it I was, our shared arousal causing us to rub in earnest. Paul was very close, his breathing brisk, his pelvis tilted upward desperately seeking more friction. Suddenly he stopped breathing then shuddered as a series of spasms ran the length of his whole body and ribbons of creamy white cum erupted from his hard cock onto my stomach and his.

I laid beside him on the bed, close enough to share one of our king size pillows. He looked spent as he tried to breathe normally again. My dick was impossibly hard and I was very tempted to touch myself, unfortunately I had learned long ago that my wolf would happily swat my hand away from my needy cock if he didn't request himself that I pleasure myself. He turned on his side, a string of cum hanging from his cock and what was on his stomach sliding onto the bed. I followed suit turning to face him. If it was even possible he looked even more handsome, a light sheen of sweat covering his muscular body with some drops running from his forehead. We gazed at each other, no words were exchanged, they weren't necessary.

Paul ran a tremulous hand through my hair and along one side of my face. He was so tender and loving, even though for some reason he seemed nervous. I hoped it was not because of what had just happened between us and I prayed it was not because he regretted accepting my proposal – I quickly tossed the latter from my mind when I was put at ease as the most tender and loving smile I had ever seen appeared on his face while his spare hand fiddled with the ring that hung from his neck. His eyes shined with a glimmer of mischief while he continued caressing my skin with the back of his hand.

Paul moved slowly towards me, kissing me, while his warm hand rested on my shoulder. He felt hesitant, unsure even and I couldn't help but wonder what was on his mind. He pressed his muscular body against mine while running his hands all over me. I was in my own personal heaven, in our own home, on our bed with my most perfect mate. Paul lightly grasped the back of my head moving it to the side to gain more access to my neck which he licked, kissed and sucked. I felt his teeth graze my shoulder where he bit me lightly, not enough to draw blood but enough for me to notice and especially for my raging hormones to notice as well, which caused a loud moan to escape my lips.

His hand grasped my butt cheek almost a little too rough; it was certainly unexpected, though very welcomed. He kneaded my backside while flicking his tongue on one of my nipples just like I had done to him moments earlier. My eyes wandered to the window where a view of the sun setting above the trees provided me with the frame to what was looking like the best evening of my life, at least so far.

A frustrated and angry whimper escaped my throat when Paul left me hot and bothered and jumped off the bed. I could feel the familiar burning in my eyes but made a conscious effort not to tear up, this was cruel, he was not being fair. I knew he had deep-seated issues with intimacy, but for fuck's sake, why start what he was not willing to finish? My hope crumbled when I saw him pick his pants up from the floor where they had been abandoned in a much better moment. I was utterly baffled when I saw him turn around sheepishly holding his wallet. I had no idea what he would want with it. I couldn't muster a sound; I wanted to ask him what it meant. I was so confused, it was his move and all I could do was wait.

Paul went on a slightly frantic search, opening and closing drawers of the nightstand to the left of the bed that were mostly empty and made a hollow sound when he banged them closed. The breath got stuck in my throat when he rounded the bed toward the windows and searched those drawers only for his hand to emerge with the bottle of lube I had earlier placed inside the nightstand. After retrieving a condom from his wallet he threw the leather aside and sat pensively on the bed; the condom in one hand and the lube in the other. I could see the slight shake of his hands as he held the items looking like he didn't know what to do with them. In his profile I could see the tension on his jaw, like he was thinking hard about something that troubled him.

Just like me he couldn't speak, but I could hear his fast beating heart and troubled breathing. I moved towards him and placed my arms around his broad chest. Paul looked over his shoulder seeking my eyes, I didn't know if he was looking for reassurance or just seeking strength. Brown and green found each other, asking the question that neither one of us could muster out loud in fear that the other would say no. His handsome face was adorned with an expression that was a mixture of love and lust.

Rapturous anticipation flooded my bloodstream with adrenaline. This was all too overwhelming; all I wanted was to feel my Paul close to me. I wanted more of him, I _needed_ more of him and all my instincts were telling me he felt the same way. Paul still hadn't moved and I could sense his hesitation and nerves. This was as new to him as it was to me. I didn't care about the past, in my mind he was an inexperienced wolf just like I was. I guided him to the centre of the bed, my arms surrounding his waist as I rubbed my hard member on his deflated one. By his body's reaction I could guess his mental status, he had made enormous strides toward accepting the idea of having a physical relationship with me, but this was his final exam. He responded and I felt him begin to harden. I could still feel his hesitation, but each time his actions gave him away I made him aware of how much I wanted this, how ready I was. He had to get it out of his thick head that he was going to soil me, quite the opposite, he would make me whole.

He took charge, his eyes roaming up and down my form. I felt my cheeks burn with the blush that covered them from being under such scrutiny. It wasn't like we hadn't seen each other naked before, it was the change of though going on in his mind that made this feel like he'd never seen me nude before. Too many times we'd lusted after each other, yet everything was different now, for the first time we would allow our bodies to take over and do what his mind had denied us for so long.

Paul rested on his bent arm while he ran the pads of his fingers over my abdomen. He was igniting the flame of desire in each one of my cells. He pulled me towards him while kissing me deeply. I heard the cap of the lube snap open and something cold and slippery between my cheeks. His digit teased the entrance to my most private area, one that was his and only his. I gasped when he pushed the tip of his finger inside, but more out of surprise than pain. Paul recoiled his finger; I had to think fast before he changed his mind entirely. I placed my hand on the arm that was directed towards my back and nuzzled his cheek. He got the message and once again I felt his finger on my entrance.

I felt the pressure until his digit breached the entrance and slid inside slowly. There was no pain, only a sensation that was neither painful nor pleasurable. Paul pulled his finger out and pushed it back in slowly. That went on for an undetermined amount of time until I felt him pull out completely. He kissed me passionately while entered my backside again. The pressure was doubled as it was very clear he added a second finger, the burning pain made me whimper against his mouth but I never broke the contact. Instead I concentrated on his able tongue as it danced inside my mouth. The pain faded slowly, he left both fingers inside me, not moving them one inch. After some time he slid them in and out, I breathed deeply through my nose holding back another whimper. He was stretching me, I knew he was much bigger than his two fingers; my nerves began to betray me and I began shaking.

It was his turn to comfort me; he pulled out his fingers and rested his hand on my back. He covered my face with chaste little kisses that made me giggle like a silly girl. I could feel the slippery substance that coated his pointer and middle finger as he rubbed circles on my back. He sought my eyes; they were full of apprehension and love. I nodded and covered his mouth with mine, kissing him deeply. His fingers found their way back inside my body, this time I fought the discomfort and pushed against his hand encouraging him. The burning sensation returned when he separated the digits that were buried inside me, he was scissoring me to stretch me further.

A third finger joined the others inside me, the burning returned and I intertwined my legs with Paul's just looking for something to take my mind off my behind. My mate's fingers worked their way in and out of me slowly, but surely. I rocked gently against them as they penetrated my hole, the burning faded slightly but I still didn't feel any pleasure. That was until Paul arched his fingers just right and they graced that wonderful bundle of nerves deep within me. I tossed my head back and let out a loud moan as the most tantalizing sensation took over my body. I pushed my bottom against Paul's hand encouraging him to find it again, and he did. Each and every time he hit that spot I felt like I would become undone. I had never felt anything like it.

A light layer of sweat was covering our bodies and my throat was getting dry from the continuous moaning. I felt Paul pull out his fingers and I knew that was it. My cheeks burned again, when I blushed thinking of what would happen next. Paul and I would become one. I pulled back slightly and my eyes connected with those of my mate. What I saw was desire, need, and unconditional love. I saw the wolf I dreamt about for so many nights, I saw the wolf for which I cried myself to sleep for five long years, but more than anything I saw the wolf who I wanted to share the rest of my life with. As corny as it may sound I saw my happily ever after.

Paul's shaky fingers ripped open the foil package and pulled out the condom. He huffed in frustration when placing it on his engorged tip became a struggle. His hands where not cooperating, his obvious anxiety making them disobey his commands. I placed my hand on his to help him steady himself and kissed his cheek tenderly. I heard a sharp intake of air and when he turned to look at me his face was contorted in what looked like panic. Taking a look at his hands I saw the reason for his reaction. One of his hands held the ripped condom on it, his head shaking from side to side in disbelief. His cheeks were tinted red and his bottom lip trembled slightly. A fucking ripped condom was not going to spoil our night. We were both healthy and I was not a chick; I couldn't get pregnant, it was not a big deal. I grabbed the bottle of lube and squirted a generous amount on my hand. Paul gulped when I started covering his shaft with the slippery substance. His gaze softened, he got harder and I felt him grow bigger under the palm of my hand.

Paul guided me to turn so my back would be towards him. I resisted at first wanting to be looking at him when he made me his, but I knew that he was trying to make it easy for me. We both knew it was the most comfortable position for an inexperienced wolf like me and god I needed all the help I could get. He located himself behind me, I willed my body to stay still and not be shaking since I didn't want him to be discouraged. This was a huge step for us as a couple and individually, our new intimacy would start a new stage of our lives. In a way this moment was bigger and more important to Paul than to anyone else, he had gone from an abused almost asexual person to a devoted lover.

The tip of his throbbing member nudged my back entrance as he aligned it. I fisted the pillowcase as I felt him exert pressure on it. Soon it breached the entrance, the head slipping in. He gasped in pleasure, yet I hissed in pain; he felt much bigger than his three fingers did, and I didn't know if I could go through with this after all. I wanted it more than I ever wanted anything, but it still felt terrifying. Almost like he was reading my mind he stayed still, though didn't pull out. Instead he slid his lips against the skin of my upper back; he buried his face on the back of my neck and kissed it gently and slowly. Pretty soon the pain began to fade and he pushed a little bit more of him inside me. I bit my lower lip almost drawing blood; I knew it would become pleasurable, however just like with his fingers it would get worse before it got better.

At last he was sheathed inside me; my mate was very still, only moving his hand over my limp cock. The painful intrusion proved to be the biggest anti-aphrodisiac, yet I couldn't be happier. My mate had been wonderful, tender, loving and understanding. Taking his time to enter me and giving me time to adjust. Most importantly he had been able to defeat enough of his demons to share his body with mine; he was not dominated by his past anymore. I would take many painful penetrations if that meant we'd be together, just like this, every day for the rest of our forever.

I pushed back against him; he understood and began moving slowly in and out of my tight tunnel. As the burning feeling began to fade the pleasure took over. His cock seemed gigantic, but his preparations were enough for me to be writhing in pleasure in no time. The muscles in my ass convulsed around his thickness, it was unreal; fuck, why did we wait so long? Paul was moving freely in and out of me, making my whole body shiver in bliss. My body moved back and forth on his cock, I couldn't have enough of this amazing new sensation. The feeling of Paul's hard shaft inside me was unreal, the fullness making my whole body buzz with excitement.

Paul's slid his thick member out of me almost entirely only to push it back inside me, hitting my prostrate each time. His hand worked passionately on my cock that oozed an abundance of pre-cum from the tip. I could feel his cock throbbing deep within me and that added to the whole repertoire of sensations I was experiencing. I was breathing rapidly and moaning loudly. But it was nothing when compared to the sounds my wolf was producing; his words alternated between curses, sweet nothings whispered in my ear to unabashed moaning. I felt myself approaching completion when Paul suddenly pulled out leaving me feeling empty. I looked back and pushed my naked bottom against him, I was moments away from ordering him to continue his ministrations when he guided me onto my back and slinked between my legs.

In one fluid movement he buried himself to the hilt, making me see nothing but amazing stars. He didn't wait for any prompting and moved slowly at first. It was an excruciatingly fantastic torture, one that I would gladly endure every day for the rest of my days. I wrapped my legs around his waist, digging my heels into his ass. He grabbed my narrow hips and slammed against my prostrate every time he buried himself inside me. His hand found my hard member and in no time had a perfect rhythm going between his strokes and his thrusts. I couldn't believe that this was my wolf, my Paulie, that had let go so completely of any inhibitions he may have had – he was _not_ the same wolf that had returned to the palace when I was sixteen... or maybe he was finally just returning now.

I was going wild; each one of Paul's thrusts would hit my prostrate and whiten my vision. I felt my release approaching but I never wanted this to stop. Paul was a vision of orgasmic ecstasy, his hair getting stuck to his sweat soaked forehead. The muscles on his arms bulging with the effort. I felt his balls slapping against me, while he continued invading my body. One of his hands moved freely over my torso while the other increased its speed and pressure as it stroked me. I was being dominated by my wolf and I fucking loved it! His thrusts were long and deep, his movements turning slightly frantic as I guessed his release was quickly approaching.

He looked deeply into my eyes and I locked eyes with him feeling my imminent release. I lost all control as the tidal wave that had been brewing inside me for so many years overflowed and rinsed away any I fear I ever had about losing my wolf. The tension that had been building inside my body letting go and bringing me to paradise. My body quivered as the tremors flooded my being, I cried in pure bliss, as white milky ribbons spilled over his hand and onto my stomach. My ass muscles clamped around Paul's cock and spasms took over. It proved more than he could bear, he called my name loudly and he plunged himself even deeper with his hands so pleasantly painfully gripping my waist as he filled me with his seed. I could swear I felt the hot fluid as it bathed my insides – I'd never felt so perfect.

His eyes were wide and his hands rested on each side of my chest as he made an effort not to collapse on me. My orgasm had been so intense that I felt what could only be described as aftershocks and I kept bucking against Paul. He leaned forward and buried his face on my neck. I reached behind him and stroked his back making him shiver. We both breathed hard in the aftermath of our love making and with each breath Paul's addicting scent filled my lungs. If possible my love for him grew to incomparable levels, along with feeling never so loved before. The realization that we were alpha and beta, wolf and imprint, lovers and friends, and soon we would be husband and husband hit me like a ton of bricks... I closed my eyes, held the most precious being close to me, and breathed in peace for the first time ever.


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter Fifty-eight  
**

_Point of View: Ryan**  
**_

I gazed around the fire we had burning in the backyard by the river. The moon shone bright, the stars were beautiful and the sound of running water and hooting owls in the pitch black of night had me smiling. I leaned back and relaxed in the padded lawn chair as I wondered how on earth I'd gotten so lucky – the whole pack was here with the inclusion of uncle Riley and Katie. Along with the sounds of nature I could hear the crackling of the flames and laughter, especially laughter, and especially from my mate. He was grinning from ear to ear when he returned after Nahuel had taken him out for a run. Originally I wanted to be there when Nahuel informed Paul about him and the two alphas joining the pack, but I decided against it and let him do the honour. My wolf was beyond accepting and it was hugs all around when the two rejoined us.

I could hardly believe I was sitting in my own backyard with such a perfect pack and my equally perfect fiance that I had literally lost my virginity to a few hours prior. We hadn't talked about what happened between us, and I wasn't sure we needed to – of course I didn't regret it and by the look on Paul's face he didn't either, although I knew all too well his looks could be deceiving. However, I'd never in my life seen him smile so big or laugh as loud like he was tonight. I desperately wanted to believe he was truly happy and not a thought of his past was in his mind.

Paul shot me a big grin from across the flames where he sat between Riley and Nahuel. His back was to the water and Nahuel was yammering on to him about how they should start a business together fixing up old homes and selling them for profit since my wolf mentioned that's what he wanted to do. I was all for Paul doing nothing for a year or two and just being with me, though he clearly wanted to get a move on with things and get a routine in order. I could easily understand that and I certainly wasn't opposed to the idea, I just didn't know what to do with myself. As much as I would love to work with those two it was unrealistic – I'd slow them down, although I wasn't particularly fond of the idea of sitting at home all day by myself. I honestly didn't know what I was supposed to do. I doubted I was even qualified to be a bagger at a grocery store, and I doubted even more so that they'd hire a prince. I wish I could say I'd at least be good for business, but people tended to avoid me like the plague. At least with my hair cut short I wasn't called a fag half as much, yet I figure as soon as the news of my big gay wedding breaks I'll get to hear it a lot more. I wasn't really looking forward to that... the name calling that is.

"Herc, my man!" Eleazar drunkenly exclaimed as he stumbled back to his spot to my right after wandering off to take a leak god knows where on my property. He slung a big bare and tattooed arm around me to pull me close and nearly yanked me right out of my chair. "So, we're all dying to fuckin' know which one of us fine gentlemen is gonna be your best man."

I gazed around the circle, Emily was to my left, with Eric to hers. He was currently in his own world as he helped Katie roast marshmallows who happily sat on his lap. My eyes went past Riley and Paul, along with Nahuel, then Randall, and finally returning to Eleazar. I frowned sadly to myself; my best man was nowhere in sight – in fact he wasn't even alive. Then again, I wasn't even sure if he'd ever have been up to seeing me get married to someone other than himself.

I shrugged and forced myself to give the she-wolf a smile as she caught my sight on her. "Emily will be." I told him.

She gave me a big grin. "Knew it!"

Randall huffed and scowled, crossing his beefy arms over his chest. "Shit, Herc, pick a damn man! Why do ya always gotta turn everything into a damn homo circus? Are ya gonna walk down the aisle in a pretty white gown too?" Before I could even react to his criticism Nahuel's fist collided with the alpha's jaw, the momentum of the hit knocking him over onto his back.

"Fuckin' mutt!" Randall hollered from the sandy grass.

Nahuel just laughed as he stood and offered the alpha a helping hand up. "That was meant for your shoulder, not your face!" He guffawed while tugging the wolf to his feet. "Maybe I should cool it on the booze."

"Yeah." Randall grumbled as he righted his chair and slumped into it – his face was fine, but his ego was obviously bruised. "Maybe."

Nahuel gave me a grin as he flopped back down beside Paul. "You can wear that pretty white gown if ya wanna, Herc." I shook my head and snorted at the notion; no fucking way.

"Uh-uh," My wolf put in. "He's wearing a tux or nothing."

My brows raised in surprised. "You'd let me go out there in front of hundreds of people, on our wedding day, naked?" I queried.

"Absolutely." He said with a lascivious little smirk. "That way everybody can see exactly what they can't have."

I smirked right back. "And what's all yours?"

"Precisely." Paul agreed as he got his feet and rounded the fire. He motioned for me to stand, so I shrugged off Eleazar's arm and did. He sat and pulled me to his lap, his lips instantly going to the side of my neck while his arms rounded my waist. "Goddamn, how did you get to be so sexy?" He hummed as he kissed his way east while his hands travelled in the same direction along my chest.

Eleazar quirked a brow as he stared at us with a strange fascination. "So gay..." He mused.

My wolf's fingers brushed against my neck. "The gayest." He groaned under his breath just before he gripped my jaw and forced me to kiss him, not that I would ever deny myself the luxury. I twisted my body so I could hug my arms around his neck and press my chest against his as I went for a deeper kiss. I hardly even cared that he reeked of alcohol and his tongue tasted like the stuff... his lips were too perfect for me to care. Although, Paul was certainly _drunk_.

Resting my weight on my wolf proved to be a bad idea seeing as all his was leaned against the backrest – we went toppling backward, our kiss breaking and my mouth full of laughter. I may have landed on him, but he was quick to kick the chair away from us and roll me onto my back with his body between my legs. "Paul!" I giddily cried as he went to town on my neck; sucking, nipping, and with small strokes of his tongue tickling me. Everybody was watching, except, thankfully, for Katie who was struggling to free herself from Eric since he was covering her eyes with his oversized hands.

"Paul!" Eric growled. "Keep it G rated!"

My wolf's lips once again reached mine, although he only gave me a small peck. "Okay." He sighed. "I'll behave," His eyes met mine and he gave me a lustful little smirk. "But not because I want to." He got to his knees, then his feet, pulling me with him and up to mine. Paul was quick to wrap me up in his strong arms and hold me close – I didn't mind one bit and returned the embrace.

"Yo, Paul," Eleazar put in. "Which one of us dogs is gonna be your best man?"

My wolf's arms tightened around me as he gave my cheek a nuzzle. I figured it was between Eric and Nahuel. "None of you bastards. It'll be Ed." My body stiffened and I saw an angry scowl form on Eric's face with just the mention of my dad's name. The alpha hugged his arms protectively around his little girl and tucked kisses into her blonde hair as both Riley and Emily shuffled their chairs close to him. The she-wolf rested her head on Eric's shoulder while my uncle ran his pale fingers through the back of his hair for soothing comfort, yet it was Katie who made me smile when she gave the alpha a little peck on the cheek as if to say, "Cheer up, daddy, you still got us."

"You're kidding, right?" Nahuel queried. I couldn't help but notice the disappointment on his face. I was pretty certain that ever since I told him I was going to propose a few months ago he had his heart set on being his hero's best man.

Paul shook his head. "No, I really can't picture it being anybody else. Besides, I was his, plus I saw him today, he seems to be making an effort. He apologized for his actions; it felt sincere."

I pulled away from my wolf and gazed up at him incredulously. "Him being sorry doesn't bring James back."

My wolf sighed as his shoulders slumped and he looked around the circle at all of us. "Look, none of you were there when Ed got burnt. You didn't see what Jamie was like... you didn't see how he tortured his grace. I just... I- I can't keep on hating him for giving Jamie what he deserved. It's tiring."

My jaw dropped and I backed away from him. "James never deserved to die. _Never_. How _the fuck_ could you say something like that?!" I exclaimed in anger.

Paul looked me square in the eye. "Because I know I would have done the exact same thing had it been you in the truck, just like I know you wouldn't hesitate to remove his head if it were me in there." He flicked his eyes to Eric. "You'd have killed him if Katie was burnt." He shifted his eyes to Emily. "And you _can't_ tell me you wouldn't have ended him if he hurt either of your guys like he did Ed."

My wolf sighed once more with all of our gazes far away from his. "I understand why Jake ordered his death and I understand why Edward wanted to be the one to do it – I don't like it, I don't fuckin' like it at all, but Jamie did what he did and he paid the price for it." He looked back to Eric. "Cover Katie's ears." The alpha did what he was told and Paul brought his attention to me. "Since you're my imprint I can imagine what your father felt when his imprint's life was almost taken, and I can see why he wouldn't spare James' life. You have no fucking idea what it's like to have an imprint, Ryan. I'd slaughter everybody here, slowly, painfully, if it meant saving _your_ life." He vehemently stated as he pointed around the circle. "I can't comprehend my existence without my imprint. I don't want a life without my imprint and I refuse to let it be an option. There is _nothing_ I wouldn't do to make sure you're always mine and god have mercy on any soul that tries to take you from me, because I swear it, I fucking promise, I will take their lives in the most brutal way possible."

"Jesus..." Randall breathed.

Paul snapped his gaze Randall's way. "Yeah, anybody who says an imprint is the most romantic thing there is is bullshitting you. I'd never give up the connection – fucking never – but I wouldn't wish it on anybody either."

I gave my wolf's arm a shove. "When did you come up with all this shit?" I angrily questioned. I understood what Paul was saying... I hated that I understood it... I didn't want to understand it at all.

He nonchalantly shrugged. "After you proposed and we... _yeah_, I really got to thinking about Ed's visit. I told him I didn't want to be his friend, and I meant it, but the engagement changes everything. Your family is going to become my family and as pissed as I am at Edward and Jacob we've got to move past this. I don't want to be part of a family where we all can't stand each other, so if they're willing to make an effort, which I'm certain Ed is, I think it's time we forgive and forget." I _hate_ drunk Paul – he was making too much sense.

"Forget about James?!" I bellowed. I saw Eric whisper something into Riley's ear, who gave a little nod as he kissed the wolf's temple, helped Katie to her feet, took her hand and started toward the house.

Paul shook his head in disagreement. "No, angel, that's impossible. I meant forget that your parents had anything to do with his death."

"Fuck you, Paul!" Eric snarled as he burst to his feet. All my other wolves following suit. "_Fuck you_!" He furiously repeated while stalking toward Paul. "Those are _my_ brother's _murderers_ you're talking about!"

"Yeah," Paul snapped. "They're also the fucking kings, Eric! One of which _our_ brother would have _murdered_ if Jake didn't turn me into a fucking chew toy!"

My brows immediately furrowed with my wolf's statement. "Wait, what?" I asked in confusion. "You and father said it was that guard that hurt you."

"James is _not_ your brother!" Eric screamed over my words while jabbing Paul in the chest with his hand, knocking my wolf back a step. "He was never your brother! He's my brother! _I'm_ the one who sacrificed _everything_ for him! _I'm_ the one who raised him!"

"And a _good_ fuckin' job you did, asshole!" My wolf shouted back at him in a rage. "Look where he ended up! Goddamn dead!" Before I ever could have ordered him not to, Eric's fist collided with Paul's nose with a startling popping noise – someone broke something.

Paul's head flung to the side, spraying blood, and with his head went his body which caused a terrible panic to rise in my chest when I saw that he was headed for the flames in the fire pit. I bolted forward a few paces and grabbed whatever I could of Paul. Only one hand managed to reach him, though all I could do was curl my fingers around the cotton fabric of his t-shirt. Thankfully, it was enough, and I yanked his falling body away from the flames and with a dusty thump he landed on his side by the large rocks circling the fire, yet I found my heart aching as my wolf cried out in pain. His left hand had landed beyond the rocks and onto the hot fiery coals – he immediately ripped it away from the fire and rolled onto his back.

I was instantly on my knees at his side and pulling his burnt hand into mine to pick the bits of ash off it so his skin wouldn't heal over them. Eleazar was right at my side and holding Paul's head up so he didn't choke on his own blood that was heavily flowing out of his nose. Nahuel quickly rounded the fire and traded places with me so I could stand and stare down Eric. "Are you fucking insane?!" I hollered in exclamation. "Do realize what you almost did?!"

I could see tears welling in the corners of the alpha's eyes, but whether they were out of anger or not, I couldn't tell. "Let him fucking burn!" Eric screamed at the top of his lungs; those shiny tears falling. "Let him burn just like his grace! It's all that wolf's fault Jamie's dead! He's the one that encouraged a relationship with that faggot leech! He's the one who took him to that no-good bar where he was stabbed! I may not have been the best brother, but at least he was safe with me! Paul fucking ruined him!"

"Eric..." Emily breathed while she neared him. She reached for his hand with hers, which he eagerly took and she wiped away his tears with her other one. "You don't mean any of that." She whispered to him. "What's upsetting you, that Paul wants his grace as his best man or wants to forgive him?"

"Both." The alpha quietly whined as he lifted a hand to tuck her bangs behind her ear that had fallen from her ponytail. "Paul's such a crazy fuck. After all that leech has done to him, how could he want him standing at his side on the most important day of his life? It's like he's forgotten if it was up to his grace he wouldn't even be here. For fuck's sake he didn't let Paul see his imprint for five goddamn-" Hastily, and with wide eyes, Emily clamped her hand over Eric's mouth while she fervently shook her head, but it was far too late, my jaw had dropped and everything I thought I fucking knew went right out the window.

I slowly turned around to look at my wolf who appeared nothing more than a shamed puppy. Nahuel and Eleazar were still hovering around him, though he was sitting up on his own with his t-shirt pulled from his back and in his hands to soak up his blood. "Sorry." He murmured into his stained shirt. "I never wanted you to think less of your dad because of me."

I flicked my eyes between Nahuel and Eleazar. "Did you guys know about this?" I queried and they nodded their heads yes. I brought my eyes to Randall who stood looking absolutely dumbfounded by the whole situation at hand. "What about you?"

He shook his head while he let out a heavy sigh. "Fuck this! I'm outta here! I'm too old for this shit!" He irritably proclaimed and glared around at us all. "One of you puppies give me a shout when y'all can play nice."

Okay, so maybe we're not so perfect after all.

* * *

_Point of View: Edward_

I don't know how it happened, but instead of going in search of my husband because I have my feeling back, thanks to James, I ended up staying down in purgatory with said vampire. We were currently watching a comedy show on television; well, I was watching and describing the setting while he listened to the dialogue with his head on a pile of pillows that were rested on my lap so he could sprawl out comfortably on the couch. Though, we were rudely interrupted by the ding of my phone alerting me that I'd received text message.

"Shit!" James breathed in exclamation. "I was under the impression you didn't have service down here. You weren't kidding when you said people didn't want to talk to you, you've been down her _all_ day. You think _someone_ would be wondering where their king is."

I scoffed at his words as I lifted my butt up and got my cell out from my back pocket. "Yeah, _you'd think_..." I grumbled while resting my arms on the edge of the pillow between his head and my ribs.

"Who is it then? His majesty?" He queried.

"No." I hummed as I flicked on the screen to my phone. "I can hear him loud and clear, if he wanted something he'd just talk in his head and I'd call or text." I opened my inbox and my eyes widened in surprise. "Well, I'll be damned. It's Paul!"

James grinned up at me. "What did he say?!"

I tapped the message with my index finger and scowled. "That I'm fucked." I sighed in dismay.

"Awesome!" He happily bellowed.

I quirked a brow. "Seriously, awesome?"

"Hey," He said with a smile. "There's two ways that message could be interpreted. Stop being such a pessimist."

My phone dinged once again and I looked back to my phone to see that Paul had added to what he said. "Lovely," I groaned with a scowl. "Ryan found out about how I was the reason the wolf left the palace for those five years. Paul wanted me to know that it wasn't him who spilled the beans, but it was, in fact, Eric that let it slip. Paul also said I should feel free to add it my long list of selfish reasons why I hate the alpha, so next time, instead of tossing him off a cliff, I can justify tossing him, legs and arms bound, off a tall skyscraper or perhaps even out of a flying aircraft above the open desert onto a field of cacti."

"Huh, he's not one for subtleties is he?" It was rhetorical question, though James was certainly right. "He's being a dick about the Eric thing. I mean, if I were to take a purely neutral stance and forget that Eric's my brother, then I can see that he had it coming when you hurled him off that cliff." I didn't _hurl_ him. I ever so gently shoved him right the fuck over the ledge. "It wasn't like you were an asshole to be an asshole... Eric was the asshole and you were just reacting to how he treated your buddy that you previously sent off on a five year death march – I'm still a bit bitter about that I'll have you know. Anyway, if roles were reversed, I think I'd have done far worse than throw Mr. Shit-For-Brains off that fucking cliff. I'd have manually neutered him for one; I love him dearly, but wolves like him shouldn't be breeding and I fear it's only a matter of time until it's him, a trailer park, and a litter of snot-nosed puppies."

I incredulously gazed at the vampire. "Wait, are you saying I did the right thing?"

He shook his head. "Far from it, but I like you now, so I'm willing to make excuses for your previously unjustifiable behaviour." James lifted his pale hand and reached for my face where he pinched my cheek. "As it turns out you're a cute little leech! Yes you are!" He cooed with a smug look of satisfaction on his face.

I smacked his hand away. "Fuck off!" I laughed.

"That's perfect!" He exclaimed. "Tell Paul that, or no, tell the wolf to go screw himself, that you're king, that you can do what you want, and for him shut his damn trap and show you some fucking respect."

I chortled at his enthusiasm. "I think that's the exact attitude that got me into this mess"

"Oh," The vampire deadpanned. "Good point. Say, duly noted and that you're booking the flight now." I nodded along as I typed it out and hit send. Almost immediately I got a response, yet I found myself choking on my own venom and miraculously nearly shitting myself as I read. "What?! What did he say?!" James questioned in eager anticipation.

I grasped my barrings and forced myself to speak. "He said, and I quote 'I fucked your son, deal with it'." I informed the vampire, which caused him to gasp and bolt upright, yet since I was hunched over him slightly while looking at my cell I got a face full of _James_, and was horrified when his lips grazed across mine. "Gah!" He cried while flailing to the other side of the couch. "Did I just do what I think I did?"

"You slut!" I jested in attempt to lighten the situation. "You can't just go around kissing people!"

"Fuck that, skank!" He said with a laugh. "You want me bad! You're the one that can see; you put your lips there on purpose!"

"Well shit..." I practically purred as I slid across the couch. I placed a hand in his hair and seductively, though playfully curled some of it around my index finger. "You caught me." I murmured lasciviously by his ear.

"Oh god!" He guffawed. "I'm so fucking glad I didn't sign that adoption paper. It'd be so much weirder thinking my 'dad' just gave me a semi."

I ripped my hand from his hair and scooted a foot or so away from the vampire as I eyed his crotch suspiciously. "You're kidding." I breathed.

He shook his head. "Nah, wanna see?" He jokingly teased... I think.

"No thanks.

James shrugged. "Your loss." He angled himself, sitting cross legged, facing me with his lower back leaned against the armrest. "So, what are ya gonna do to Paul for banging your puppy? Banish him from the kingdom?" I thought deeply about his question, yet the more I thought about it the more confused I felt. A little part of me felt angry, but most of me just _didn't_ care. I felt like I lost my son because I cared too much – I was actually rather pleased with myself for not being overly bothered by it. A year ago I would have torn a limb or two off Paul and grounded Ryan for life; however, now, it felt pretty good not to be stressing over it. Ryan was almost nineteen, he'd left home, and had a life separate from me. If anything, maybe I should be happy for him – it's not like I ever got to experience any of these things. I had no idea what it felt like growing up and leaving my parents behind to make a life for myself and someone I love. It sounded exciting, though.

"Nothing." I told him. "It was long overdue anyway. At the last therapy session I attended with Paul, the day of the fire, he talked about really wanting to have sex with Ryan, though one of the biggest things holding him back was his fear of 'soiling' his angel with his fluids or something."

The vampire nodded in understanding. "Crazy fuck." He huffed under his breath. "Yeah, he mentioned the exact same thing to me. I told him to use a condom if it bothered him so much and even gave him one to put in his wallet."

"It freaks me out, you know, the possibility of them not having safe sex." I confessed.

He cocked his head. "Why? They're both healthy boys."

I hung my head... I worried I might be saying too much, but, "Paul was sick by the time he left prison. He had a few sexually transmitted..._ things_. All curable, thank god, but I still fear they missed something. I mean, I've gone over and over his old tests with Dr. Cullen and he assures the wolf is one-hundred percent healthy, but the father in me still worries for Ryan's well-being."

James shook his head, though smiled. "Don't be worried, your grace. Paul was freaking out about that same thing when he and Ryan started getting more physical. I told him he should just go get tested to ease his mind – he was completely terrified of the idea of some stranger handling his bits alone in a room."

I smiled at the vampire. "You went with him, didn't you?" I queried.

He nodded and his smile grew into a grin. "Of course! When we got to the clinic I explained to the ladies at the front desk what was up and they suggested I get tested as well just so Paul could watch the exam and know what to expect. I wasn't exactly fond of the idea, but Paul really is the last person you need to feel insecure around."

I furrowed my brows. "Why would you feel insecure?" I asked.

"I was a human, him a wolf. Whose dick do you think was going to look puny compared to the other?"

"Oh!" I chuckled in understanding.

"Yeah, but whatever," He said with a shrug. "I did it, and he insisted I stay in the room when his turn came around. I saw his schlong... it was quite impressive in its flaccid state. All his tests came back negative – the only thing you have to worry about is him splitting your son in two." I shuddered at the thought and pushed the imagery far out of my mind.

"You're a really great friend, James."

The vampire was all smiles as he reached forward looking for me. I shuffled a bit closer and he happily took my hand and held it in his lap. "I love him. He's my brother." James chimed. "I don't get my dick hole swabbed for just anybody... I would for you, though. Just spending the past two days with you I now see why Paul put up with all your bullshit – you're pretty awesome when you don't have a stick stuck up your ass." His hand ran up my forearm and circled around it just before my elbow. He tugged me right to him and before I knew it he had me in a tight embrace. "Thank you so much, your grace." He murmured in a quavering voice and he affectionately laid his head on my shoulder.

"I'd say you're welcome, but I have no idea what your thanking me for." I said with a chuckle, though I hugged him back nonetheless.

"For all this. For saving me." He explained. "I owe you my fucking life."

I shook my head knowing he'd be able to feel it being so close and I ran my fingers through the wavy blonde strands of his hair. "You don't owe me a thing."

"I owe you everything." James quietly whimpered as his hands squeezed the back of my shirt in his palms. "I'm so sorry." He breathed. "I couldn't have been more wrong about you."

"To be fair I don't think I was this person this time last year."

He shook his head against my shoulder. "You had to be, I'm alive because of you." His arms tightened around me and I was suddenly thankful for not having the need to breathe. "Ryan is such a cunt." He mumbled under his breath, which caught me extremely off guard. I hadn't seen those words coming ahead of time, instead he said them as soon as he thought them.

"O-okay..." I stuttered in confusion. My first instinct was to defend my son, yet I found myself wanting to hear _why_ James so abruptly thought that.

The vampire let go of our embrace, however he swept the fingertips of his right hand along my face to gauge my reaction to his insult. He ran the pad of his index and middle finger over my furrowed brows then lowered them to trace my slight scowl; he finished by dropping his hand to his lap. "Ryan is ungrateful." His expression turned angry, although I could hear sadness in his thoughts. "If I grew up with only a quarter of what he had I'd feel like the luckiest leech in the world. If I had parents like you and his majesty... if I had a dad that fought so fiercely to give me a good life... _fuck_, if I just had one person continuously in my life from the very beginning who cared – they didn't even have to love me, just care – I'd have felt so special. I keep telling myself that I'm as good as everybody else, that I'm worth the love of others, but I've got this nagging feeling that I'm not. If I had what Ryan had, I'd feel on top of the world."

I was relieved that his hand was no longer on my face because I was certain he'd be able to tell just how sorry I felt for him – I knew pity wasn't what he wanted. "You _are_ worth it, and you could certainly have everything that he does. If you just signed the-"

"No," He said cutting me off. "I can't. Signing that sheet won't erase the last twenty-one years of my life. I'm not going to play house with you, Edward. You're like a stay at home mother with empty nest syndrome – your kids are grown, they don't need you, and Ryan just flew the coup. You're just trying to fill a void; you don't want me, you just want the feelings I offer – you want purpose, and while I'm down here I offer that. You get to dote on me and feel needed, but when his majesty inevitably finds out about me, that's when reality will sink in and you'll realize you've made a terrible mistake. So, why don't we save me the heartache. I've been a mistake to a lot of people; I don't particularly want to add you to the list." Guilt struck me deep, because put like that, I understood that he was right. I was rushing into things full force because I wanted to be his dad so I could always take care and watch out for him... I wanted him to feel like he needed me to do that... I wanted to feel wanted and I so desperately craved that father/son bond I lost with my puppy.

Wrenching me from my internal reverie my phone beeped, alerting me that I had received another message. I grabbed my cell from the couch cushion beside me, unlocked it, and saw Paul had asked if I was busy arming the guards and about to send them his way to end his life. _'No.'_ Was all I sent in reply.

"Is it Paul again?" James queried.

"Yep." I said with a nod of my head.

"Can you call him so I can hear his voice? Please?" He asked, although it sounded much more like he was pleading with me.

"That wolf does _not_ want to talk to me, James."

"If he didn't want to talk to you, he wouldn't be texting you." The vampire had a point. Yet, his request was made null when my phone started ringing – I stared at the screen in astonishment. It's been over year since I'd seen Paul's name show up on my caller I.D.. "It's him isn't it?!" He excitedly questioned. "Put it on speakerphone!"

"Do not make a peep." I instructed, then did exactly what James asked of me by placing the call on speakerphone. "Hello, Paul." I nervously greeted the wolf.

"Hey, Eddie." The wolf monotonously replied. James gave me a big grin and two thumbs up despite Paul's tone. "Wanna talk?" It was then I noticed the very slight slur in his speech. He'd been drinking, which makes everything make more sense. He's inebriated, therefore not thinking clearly; hence why he's talking to me – it's not because he actually wanted to it's because he went and made himself stupid and apparently doesn't know any better.

"Were you drunk when you fucked my son?!" I angrily exclaimed. "Or more importantly, was he?!" I had no clue where the questions were coming from, but there they were and I felt pissed. Although, James was fervently shaking his head while he made a slit throat motion in an effort to tell me to shut the hell up.

"Put a cork in it, leech." Paul snapped at me. "Does taking Ryan's virginity while he's drunk really sound like something I'd do? Do you honestly think I'd take advantage of him like that?"

"Well, no-"

"Fuck you!" He interrupted in exclamation. "And fuck what I just said! It wouldn't be taking advantage of him; my fiance wants my cock bad!" James' jaw dropped and I'm pretty sure all I heard was 'fiance' and 'cock'.

I cleared my throat as I tried to grab a hold of my bearings. "You proposed?" I choked out.

"No, my imprint did." Immediately James slapped a hand over his mouth to stifle a small but pained cry as he heard the wolf's answer. His mind flooded with jealously and especially hurt. He didn't understand why it hurt like it did, though the thought of Ryan proposing to Paul proved that he wasn't on the prince's mind at all. He quickly deduced that he was being an idiot for thinking there would be even the remotest chance that Ryan would be waiting for him; the wolf thought he was dead after all, he was in love with Paul, and he bought them a big house to raise an equally big family in... a family which didn't consist of him at all.

The vampire turned his body away from mine to hide his shamed faced even though he couldn't hide the thoughts that went along with it. This made me feel a great need to get off the phone and comfort the boy. "I suppose a congratulations is in order." I said to the wolf, perhaps in a bit of a rushed tone.

"That's it?" Paul said rather incredulously. "That's all you've got to say?"

"Yes, I'll be damned if I'm going to protest this wedding. As far as I'm concerned you two can take my credit card and go wild – it's your guys' day... you've earned it." Perchance I was exaggerating the 'he's earned' it part. "Jacob will be excited. This will lift his spirits about Ryan leaving."

"Jesus..." Paul breathed. "I wasn't expecting you to act this way. I thought I was going to have to threaten the fuck out of you."

"Fair enough..." I grumbled unhappily. "But don't you think it'd have been a little more appropriate for you two to come here and break the news to Jacob and I together, instead of over the phone."

"Yes, we're coming over tomorrow. Ryan doesn't know I'm talking to you, he's fast asleep on the sectional with Eric and Emily." James jolted upright with the sound of his brother's name and he turned his head my way as if he were looking at me. "Ryan is really excited about the whole thing and I just... Ed... I don't want you ruining his buzz. I want you to smile for our wolf when he says we're getting married, even if it's the very last thing you want to do. It'll make him so happy to believe his dad approves."

"I honestly don't think he gives a damn about my approval, Paul." That came out more bitter than I intended, but I'd already said I wasn't going to put up a fuss. I didn't see the point in talking about this any further.

"Don't be like that, Ed." He sighed. "You know how much you mean to him."

"No, I don't actually. He won't talk to me; he doesn't even think a goddamn thought around me."

"Then you probably should have thought about the consequences before killing Jamie." He retorted, not rudely, though it wasn't a friendly retort either. I felt rage begin to boil beneath my surface and it only took six more words from the wolf to explode. "You hurt a lot of people."

"And what about me, huh?!" I screamed into the cellphone, my voice echoing around the concrete walls. "Does nobody care about my hurt?! Does it not matter that I could have died?!" A little hesitantly James moved his body close to mine and sat by my side with his hand resting on my leg which I gripped hard in my own. "Also, how fucking dare you accuse me of not caring about the consequences! That's _all_ I thought about! I never wanted to hurt my puppy, I never wanted to hurt you, for fuck's sake I didn't want to hurt Eric either or the leech him-goddamn-self, but what exactly did you expect me to do?! If I didn't take his life Jacob would have; there was _no _stopping him. I saw what was inside his head, I saw what he would have done to James – you people should fucking _thank_ me for giving him such a quick way out!"

I heard the wolf gasp at my words and there was silence for a few moments. "You could have hid him away." He stated calmly, though quietly. Yet, both the calmness and his statement poked at my fury and made it grow.

"Oh, great fucking idea, _Paul_!" I shouted and bitterly laughed. "Say I did do that; let's pretend, just for a second, that I had conscience and spared the leech's life. Let's pretend I sent him to prison and they locked him away. Let's pretend while I thought they were helping him, I was so busy feeling sorry for myself, worrying about you, worrying about Ryan, missing the both of you, and trying my damnedest to get Rachel to open up to me, yet because I was so fixated on my world I never checked up on that fucking leech – I never visited, called, or even wrote a fucking letter questioning his well-being. Let's pretend that one day I was sitting in my car just about to turn myself to flames to finish the job James started because I felt like a fuck up, I felt like I single-handedly destroyed every relationship I've ever had – my son won't look at me, my daughter can't stand me, my brother hates me, and my best fucking friend, who refuses to speak to me, was in the nuthouse!" I paused for only a second or two, inhaled a deep shaky breath and ran a tremulous hand through my hair. "All I've ever wanted is what's best for my family and in that point in time I felt like the worst thing imaginable. I felt like my own family would be better off without me. I felt like they'd be happier if I was gone and couldn't possibly come back. I actually thought I was doing a good thing, a selfless thing – I thought maybe if I did this for them they'd forgive me for everything I'd put them through. Though, to add insult to injury let's pretend the warden of prison the leech was hidden away at interrupted me right as I was about to set myself alight by calling me only to claim James was sick, yet later, thanks to Dr. Cullen it's brought to my attention that he'd been poorly treated. Abused really. I didn't understand the guilt I was feeling. That vampire nearly killed me, but there I was feeling like I had gone and fucked up – yet again I had tried to do the right thing but it backfired right in my face. I needed to fix this. I needed to help James.

"Now, finally, in conclusion, let's pretend James Yorkie himself is sitting right beside me, right here in purgatory, right here in his own room, and with his hand right in mine." The vampire gave my hand a little squeeze and sunk in his seat so he could comfortably lay his head on my shoulder. He sent nice thoughts my way, encouraging ones; ones that actually made me feel good about myself. "Paul," I sighed, thoroughly exhausted. "Let's pretend all this is true... how would you ever know?"

There was silence on the other end of the line and all that could be heard was the scratchy sound of white noise. I was beginning to think he'd hung up, though eventually he spoke. "Am I on speakerphone?" He hesitantly queried.

"Yes."

More white noise... "Jamie?" The wolf's voice was barely a whisper and through it I could sense his uncertainty, yet there was just a smidgen of hope in there too. An evil part of me wanted to yell once more at Paul and tell him his 'brother' is long dead, that I'd killed him, that I'd ripped his head right off his body without a care in the world and absolutely no remorse – I wanted to hurt his feelings because he'd hurt mine.

James' muscles were tense, his body rigid, I knew he wanted to say something, he thought as much, but I spoke up. "After the fire I really could have used a friend, Paul. I know it hurt that James was gone, but I felt so betrayed... you turned your back on me so easily."

"Easily?!" The wolf snapped in response. "All I've ever done is forgive you for one thing after another!"

"That's what friends do! They forgive each other!" I pitifully cried. "You act like I was _never_ there for you! I spent six years wiping away your tears and calming you when you were in your manic state of mind. I spent six years begging you to get help; I even brought help to you, but you always refused! _Always_!" I scrubbed my free hand across my face and tugged at the front of my hair. "You're probably seconds away from mentioning that I _sent you away_, and how horrible I am because of it – it always comes back to this... I just, I really just wish you'd realize I never did it with malicious intent. After you said your goodbyes to Ryan when you left and I met you out in the woods shortly after, I meant it when I said I loved you and when I hugged you like I never wanted to let you go, it's because I _didn't_; but my babies are my world and I wanted Ryan to have his one and only chance to be and act like a puppy. I understand that as your imprint he was the only bit of blue sky on your cloudy days, I know he's _your_ angel, yet the reality of the situation was that he was just a kid... and he practically still is. He's not the maturest boy, but when you returned you forced him to grow up way too fast – I know you didn't mean to, I know you only want the best for him, but you failed to realize that wasn't you. You relied on a sixteen-year-old boy and his friends for happiness and companionship – that's weird, Paul, especially given your special circumstances.

"When I first found out about the imprint when Ryan was small I was rooting for you, Paul. I wanted you and Ryan to have the same kind of love Jake and I have, yet when I imagined it I never pictured it unfolding like it has. I envisioned Ryan having a normal childhood, that he'd get to be regular teenager... I thought he'd have a few boyfriends, feel some puppy love... I never expected his life to revolve around you – I figured now would be about the time he'd be coming to you and you'd be ready for him. Though, here we are, three years after your return; I sincerely hope you make Ryan's dreams come true. I want you to be worth all you've put him through." Paul said nothing, at least not for a minute or two, yet in the meantime I listened to the soothing sound of James' voice in his head – he told me I was a good dad, and fiercely wished that I had become his parent when he was a young boy; I wished the same thing.

The wolf uneasily cleared his throat. Just through the silence of our phone call I could tell how uncomfortable he felt. "I am worth it." He seemingly assured me. "I'll be the best thing that ever happened to him."

"You better be." I threatened, though emptily so.

"Or what?"

"Or nothing." I confessed. "It's Ryan's life, not mine." I think that's the hardest thing I had to learn through this whole process of finding my old self. I couldn't dictate my son's life like it was my own. I couldn't tell him what to do and how to do it so I could see him living a life I thought was perfect for him. I had to trust him to take care of himself. I had to trust his judgement; if he felt in his heart that Paul was the one for him, then he was... I had no reason to dispute this and it wasn't my place to either, not anymore.

The wolf sighed on the other end of the line. I was guessing in relief, but I couldn't be positive. "I'm sorry about the things I said earlier... you know, about the whole Ryan wants my cock thing. I mean, he does..." Where are you going with this, Paul? "I just, uh, won't say those things anymore, even if am angry. It was petty... and immature."

"It's fine, you've said plenty worse to me regarding my son and sex."

"I know you care." Paul said, changing the subject. "I know you must have thought about how Ryan and I would feel when you dealt with Jamie, but I need to know something, have you ever actually thought about taking your life?"

"Yes." I honestly answered. I wasn't looking for sympathy; I just wanted the wolf to see the effort I was making. I wanted him to see that I was willing to confide in him. I wanted him to see how badly I wanted my friend back.

"_Eddie_..." He practically whined. "_No_... Why?"

"I told you why already."

"Oh god." Paul breathed. "You couldn't be more wrong. Your family needs you – you're the glue that holds you all together."

I shook my head, though felt kind of stupid for it. "No, I'm afraid I'm the bomb that blew us all apart."

"Everything can be fixed with time; I fucking swear it, Edward. It'd destroy Jacob if he lost you. We both know he's hardly intuitive, you need to speak to him about this – he'd reassure you, he'd make you see how needed you are. You _cannot_ expect a man like him to ever know what you're thinking or feeling, if you say you're happy he's going to believe it. If you drop hints, he's going to miss them completely. Promise me you'll tell him. He'll make you feel special again." I had no intention to tell my husband how low I've been feeling. I didn't want to worry him. I liked seeing him carefree. I loved how he looked at me when he was; I was certain I'd hate the gaze I'd receive if he thought that I might off myself at any moment. "Promise me!" The wolf growled in demand. "Promise me you won't hurt yourself!" That I could promise.

"I'm not going anywhere, promise." Truthfully, it made me feel good that he was making me promise him. It wasn't that I liked hearing him fret over me, I just liked that he was concerned.

"You know I love you, right?" Paul questioned, and I swear my heart nearly began to beat when I heard the fondness in his tone. "I might hate you a little, but I still love you." I'd take that.

"I love you too. I miss you as well."

James sat up in his spot._'Can you ask to speak with Eric?' _He requested using his thoughts. I took his hand that was already in mine and placed it on my cheek so he could feel me shake my head no. _'Please.'_ I shook my head once again. What was I supposed to talk to him about anyway? _'Oh, c'mon, Edward, pretty please? I really want to hear him.'_ For a third time I shook my head. His fleeting thoughts turned annoyed and the buzzing fluorescent lights above us began to flicker. _'Please!' _He yelled in his head, and I shook mine.

"I miss you too, Eddie." I couldn't concentrate on Paul whatsoever because immediately following the fourth shake of my head James ripped himself away from me and to his feet with a loud growl. "What was that?" Asked Paul, though once my attention was torn from him. The channels on the television flicked by faster than I could catch sight of the image. The vampires' mind was much the same, yet darker and drearier, he was angry... upset... he wanted his brother Eric, he missed him, he wanted to hear the only person he was truly connected to. Yet, there was a dense fog in his head, like a storm was brewing and there was nothing he could do to quell it.

When the rain began to pour James' hands clenched at his sides, his body visibly shaking. I got to my feet – lights still flickering and the TV landing on static, the volume blaring. "Oh fuck." He whispered, the sound of the TV surely drowning out the sound of his voice and keeping Paul unaware of his presence. "I'm gonna blow."

The television shut off and the room fell eerily silent. "Ed, what the fuck are you doing?" The wolf inquired, clearly confused by the previous noises.

Thunder rolled in and the room went dark. "Your grace?!" One of the guards called from the other side of the gate.

"Stay put." I ordered. "Paul," I said to the wolf. "Do me a favour and put Eric on the line." I didn't necessarily want to give James what he wanted, he was throwing a temper tantrum after all, but I'd hit a nerve denying him Eric – one of which set off a frenzy of reactions. His powers fed on his emotions, yet his emotions fed on his powers; I could see why anger would lead to destruction and his fondness to my healing. What James felt, he felt strongly, though I don't think anybody _really_ knew the things he felt and thought when he was a human. I don't think anybody _really_ knew how much he kept bottled up. It made sense that he was like this; nobody could ignore him now.

"Why, what's going on? He's not going to want to talk to you." Paul said in an effort to dissuade me. "Anyway, I told you earlier that he's sleeping."

I didn't like the dark. In fact I fucking _hate_ the dark; I went over this already. So, I wasn't in any mood to debate what I'd requested. "Put the dog on the goddamn phone, Paul!" I growled in demand.

"Fuck, calm your tits. Hold on." I heard shuffling on the other end, yet it became completely drowned out by a loud harrowing cry from James as the television exploded. Lightning had stuck and my arms reflexively came up to guard my eyes and face from the debris while the fridge behind me slammed opened; the dim luminous inside shadowing the gallons of blood stored being splattered around that side of the room. When the commotion ended the ceiling lights burst to life, though the vampire had them so bright it nearly left me as blind as I was in the dark.

"Edward?!" Paul fretfully hollered over the phone.

"Where's Eric?" I hurriedly questioned.

"He's coming; he's just getting out of the sitting room." He explained. "Here, here he is."

There was rustling as the phone was being passed over as I impatiently waited. "Hello?" The alpha groggily greeted, and immediately following the lights faded back to normal with the vampire's thoughts a mixture of pain and longing. I truly empathized with James. Even if Riley despised me and everything I stood for I couldn't imagine not, at the very least, catching a glimpse of him every day. So, against my better judgement I took a few long strides and placed the phone in his hands. I took a few steps back to give him his space; I'd deal with the repercussions later.

The vampire dropped to his knees with the phone cradled in his hands by his chest, and his body fell forward causing his forehead to collide with the concrete – if it hurt, he didn't think it. "Eric?" He whimpered, it was heart wrenching.

I heard the alpha gasp. "Who the fuck is this?!" He questioned in exclamation. I think he knew exactly who he was talking to, he just couldn't believe his ears.

James face was contorted in distress. "Your brother."

"Fuck you, _you're not_." I could picture Eric's honey coloured nose scrunching as his cheeks turned red while trying to force back his emotions – his quavering tone said it all.

The vampire let out a noise that sounded an awful lot like a sob and one of his hands came out from underneath him. He placed his palm flat on the ground and as if they'd always been there narrow cracks, like a series of miniature interconnecting riverbeds, appeared across the floor, though bits of dust falling from the ceiling had me looking up. It wasn't just the floor; it was the _entire_ room that he'd made a mess of.

"Eric!" He cried, the anguish was palpable. "I'm still here."

"Oh my god..." The alpha whispered. "Oh my god." He said a little louder. "_Jamie_..." He grievously moaned, surely through tears. "My little brother." I could hear the muffled voice of Paul in the background of the phone call. He was begging to know what was going on, yet Eric cursed at him to go away.

"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry." James wept to the best of vampiric capabilities. "I wish I never had to leave you. I'm not like momma, I swear it. I know I'm awful, I know I'm bad, but I'm nothing like her."

"Stop it." Eric sniffled with a whine. "Where's this coming from? Are you okay?"

"No, I'm not. Not at all... it has been horrible. I can't see. They had me chained up for so long. I couldn't hear or smell. They made me sick. I was too scared to feed; I thought I was going to starve." It was right then that I realized I knew _nothing_ about James. He wasn't nearly as well off as I believed. I thought he was the pinnacle of optimism and strength. I knew he had his downfalls; I understood that he could sometimes think lowly of himself, yet I didn't realize he was dwelling on his experience. He acted like nothing had ever happened to him. He never even thought about it... not around me at least. I should have known better, nobody could go through what James did and come out mentally unscathed. I should have caught on the second he talked about us faking our smiles through the years – now I wondered how many of his were actually real, if any.

"Who's they?!" Eric roared. "Did Edward do this to you?!"

The vampire shook his head against the cracked concrete. "No, the king saved me. I nearly burnt him to death, but he fucking saved me anyway! He even wanted me to sign an adoption paper; it's like he's the only one who can't see how disgraceful I am. Ryan's always known, Charlie found out, Paul learnt the hard way, and you, you... I don't know what you think."

"What are you even talking about?!" Eric vehemently exclaimed. "Ryan and Paul have been lost without you, especially me."

"How lost could they be? They're getting fucking married!" He bitterly snapped through gritted teeth. "What about Charlie?" It was sad that there was a slight hopeful tone to his question. In the far depths of his mind he thought there was a slim possibility the little vampire would want him back, that he was _so_ sorry, and that he'd been agonizing over his 'death' this entire time. James deserved better than a cheater, yet I could see that he'd take Charlie back in an instant if the opportunity presented itself. Although, that wasn't the worst part; so long as it was him that Charlie came home to, he was willing to look the other way if the vampire wanted to sleep around. I didn't understand James' desperation whatsoever – he was a nice, funny guy who had the looks to boot. Once he's a free leech, if he put himself out there a bit I don't doubt girls and guys alike would be flocking his way. I mean, if my family never existed and I was single...

Eric sighed. "Charlie doesn't matter."

"But does he miss me?" There was that hopeful tone again.

"I don't know, Jamie. As far as I know he's still with the human all this shit was caused by."

James' clamped his hand shut into a fist just as I began to hear a faint trickle; I looked to my feet and saw the blood that was spilt flowing through crevices. "Maybe he just doesn't want to be alone. He likes a lot of affection." But not from you, James; it was the hard truth.

"Maybe..." Eric replied rather unsurely. "_I_ missed you, though. I missed you a fuckin' lot. I even got in a few tussles with Paul – I had a feeling you were out there somewhere. The mongrel wouldn't buy it; the guy in the nuthouse thought _I_ was a loon! I clobbered him good tonight."

"Did he deserve it?" Asked James.

"Uh, well, that's debatable."

The vampire chuckled despite his inner turmoil as the blood flowed _up_ the walls. "I love you, Eric... so goddamn much. You're all I got, you know?"

"You'll never believe me, but I love you more." The wolf sounded sincere and considering the things he's sacrificed as a pup for James I was tempted to believe him.

My eyes wandered to the ceiling where blood was flowing in their little streams as I contemplated if I was standing in a big metaphor. All I could think was that James subconsciously made the room represent the human life he lost, the life he was currently wishing he could have back. In the end, I didn't believe the riverbeds were riverbeds at all; they were veins and he was the heart and soul that powered it all.

* * *

**Quick question: **I noticed that some of you were unhappy with Ryan's return in the last chapter. I'm curious to know if there are a lot of you that dislike him as well. I'd love to know and hear your reasons if this is the case. Please feel free to PM me or explain in a review!

**Another question: **I know lots of you like James and seeing as the story is winding down I'm willing to add more of his point of view and go into more depth with what's going on with him and how the story will end for him. I don't really want to take the focus off Ryan and Paul, buuut if you all want to read about James, then I'd love to write it. So, please either PM or leave a review so I can decide what I should do.

THANK YOU! YOU'RE ALL WONDERFUL!


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter Fifty-nine  
**

_Point of View: Ryan**  
**_

I was dying, I was sure of it... or maybe I was just being melodramatic. I was completely sprawled out across the middle of my bed in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts – I'd be naked if it weren't for the fact that I'd have to move. A sheen of sweat was covering my body, it felt like the heat was blasting in my house, yet I knew that wasn't the case seeing as I'd been griping about it all morning and Paul assured me he checked all the thermostats. I was almost certain God himself hated me and had turned my house into an oven. God loved Paul, however; the damn wolf was completely unaffected.

I groaned when I saw my wolf saunter into the room with a bowl of cheerios in hand which I had requested... _demanded_. I was starving. It was this insufferable heat that made me hungry, I swear it. God wanted me fat also. "What took you so long?" I whined in complaint.

Paul snorted and gave me a little look that read 'shut up, you needy bitch'. It was also full of love so I adored it nonetheless. "_Shut up_, you _needy_ bitch..." He grumbled under his breath, yet playfully so. Knew it!

He halted at the edge of the bed and stared down at me. "Don't call me a bitch, dick face." I hissed in retort.

A growl rumbled in Paul's throat. It was so hot. Not nearly as hot as this fucking house, though! "Don't call me a dick face, _slut_." My jaw dropped. "Yeah, I went there." He said with the most gorgeous of smirks.

"Give me my damn cheerios!" I alpha ordered as I sat up, shuffled forward, and hung my legs over the side.

"Yeah yeah." I held my hands out when he began to pass them over, but I knew something was terribly wrong when I caught a mischievous glint in his soulful brown eyes. "Eat up, _bitch_." He quipped just as he tilted the bowl and dumped the cereal right onto my lap.

"_Paul..._" I moaned with my eyes forcing themselves closed and rolling back for a moment or two. That was meant to come out as an angry growl, though I do believe it ended up being the most sexually explicit moan I've ever uttered – the cold milk felt so damn good on my overheated junk.

When I was finally able to peel my eyes open Paul was gazing at me with a quirked brow, the empty bowl already placed on the nightstand by my glass of water. "Like that?" He queried with a knowing smile.

"It's not quite what I had in mind." I mumbled under my breath.

My wolf handsomely grinned. "But, angel, I did exactly what you ordered." He motioned to my soggy lap. "I gave it right to."

I gave him devilish smirk full of lust. "I'd like you to give me something else."

Paul gave me the exact same look right back. "Like what, a mop and bucket so you can clean up that mess?"

I pouted and crossed my arms over my ribs. "We should get a housekeeper." I seriously suggested. Dishes sucked. I didn't particularly like vacuuming. The dust is going to stay if I have to wipe every damn surface myself. Don't even get me started on the windows... _why oh why_ did I get a house with so many windows?

He shook his head and laughed while he took a seat beside me. "No way, not when I have a perfectly good imprint to use as a slave!"

I held firm to my pout. "That's what I feel like most of the time." I told him honestly.

Paul ran his long coppery fingers through the side of my cropped hair. "I'm working from sunup to sundown, Monday to Friday, on those houses with Nahuel." I didn't actually think they'd get their business up and running so quickly. We'd hardly been here three months, my nineteenth birthday was just last week – I winced a little as I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen and moved my hands to clutch the area – and for fuck's sake, nearly the whole time we've been here I've been getting these god awful cramps. "You, on the other paw, don't do anything productive with your time, so the least you could do is keep the house in order – you know how tired I am when I get home." He's _never_ too tired to fuck, ever. That's a fact... not that I'm complaining. I'm just calling a bluff on this coming home tired thing since he never holds back and certainly doesn't get lazy. Dare I say he's a natural at this sex stuff? Is that a thing?

Most of the time I feel like I'm living in a whole other reality. The wolf I dropped off at the hospital is _not_ the one I picked up. Granted, he does have two hours of therapy five days a week. I pick him up at noon each day from whatever house he's working on with a lunch I've made for him and drive him to Esme's office. I walk him in, struggle to kill two hours, then meet him back in the waiting room on his way out. Sometimes I feel like I'm babying him, but he doesn't seem to care. He says he likes seeing me in the middle of the day since he works so much. Plus, it gives me peace of mind knowing that he's actually going to his appointments. I'm dead set on not repeating the past.

My wolf is the epitome of happy and I don't have any reason to believe it's in anyway a sham. He does a lot of things that used to be far out of his comfort zone, yet, now, he doesn't even bat an eyelash. There's one particular thing I love to see him do. _Wrestle_. Yes, Paul, _wrestle_, wrestle topless with all those equally topless wolves! Yes, get a little rough... Yes, roll around on the ground together... Admittedly, I enjoy this way more than what's healthy. My wolves don't need to know that, though.

Anyway, every single time he gets his ass handed to him. I think he firmly believes that one of these days the odds will be in his favour and he will win, but not so far, and each time I cringe when I see a wolf or two, hell, sometimes even all three alphas pin him to the ground. It's a game of mercy, and they won't quit until he says it. I'm waiting for the moment when a bunch of sweaty half naked wolves piled on top of him makes him snap and he freaks. Yet, there's been plenty of times that I've suspected he's far more into this wrestling thing than I am. For one, he almost _always_ initiates it, plus the wolf he's interested in scrapping with is usually topless when he starts badgering him for a fight. Two, he tends to be the first to make contact. And, three, which is my biggest defining factor – once when I was watching Paul getting his ass thoroughly kicked from up on the balcony adjacent to my room he climbed up afterwards, eyed me lasciviously and said, "Fuck, my dick's so hard." He strolled right on by me while pawing at his crotch. He turned around in the doorway. "Hey, Ryan, are you coming?" He had asked while slipping off his shorts, becoming completely nude. "Because I want you to." Fuck me, that double entendre had me on all fours with Paul's glorious cock inside me before I could even count to five.

The sex, good lord, _the sex_. Mind blown. Now I truly understand why my parents are such perverts. Lately, they seem exceptionally pervy – I don't ever want to recount what I caught them doing on my birthday and in my own house no less! Needless to say, it appears that my dad's penis is in perfect working order. So, I was very, _very_ incorrect when I thought there was something wrong with his junk. As it turns out the only thing wrong with it is that _I _saw it. Also, burnt doesn't mean broken. That thing looked... _different _to say the least. My father did _not_ care, he was practically worshipping the thing; actually, I wouldn't be surprised if he was.

Back to what I was saying... _sex_. My terror was immense when the morning after we'd first slept together Paul told me he'd soiled me, that he'd made his angel dirty. Yet, the relief I felt when I saw a deviant little sparkle in his eye and he added, "You're so hot when you're dirty." Was much like an orgasm itself. Truthfully, sometimes I have a hard time keeping up with him. He spent how many years sexually repressed? Well, he's making up for it now. There have been a few times were I've almost said no, but then I realized it was _Paul_ and he wanted to have sex with _me_. I don't think many people, if any, not sane ones at least, would turn down that opportunity.

I don't know if it was the engagement that did it or if he was just ready. I like to think he was just ready. Also, surprisingly enough it's brought a lot of people closer – the engagement that is. When Paul and I went to the palace to tell my parents we were getting married I was certain, absolutely positive, my dad wouldn't allow it, so when the happiest smile came across his face while he congratulated us, I was damn well shocked. Even father was gazing at him strangely. I'd also decided for the benefit of my sanity I was going to act like I knew nothing about my dad sending Paul away when I was eleven and I was also going to feign ignorance to the fact father had landed my wolf in the hospital. It made me furious to think about either. It was just better for everybody, including myself, if I didn't know these things. So, I don't. I know nothing.

Paul and my dad... it was weird, they were acting like James never happened. I know my wolf said he wanted to move on, but I didn't expect it to be so quickly and him to become buddy-buddy with my dad right away. They were like two freaking peas in a pod, yet the most mind boggling thing was that Eric was like the carrots on the side. Paul and Eric went over to the palace _all_ the time to visit my dad, and no, I wasn't invited. Paul's excuse being it's weird to hang out with my dad as a friend when I'm there since they both know where his _big_ dick is going. Yes, Paul said his big dick. I like that he's confident, I just don't like that he's being immature. If he thinks _that's_ weird, then why the fuck is Eric hanging out with them? My dad murdered his brother!

I do hold a grudge, maybe even a big one, but when Eric of _all_ people started coming to my dad's defence whenever someone so much as uttered a negative thing about him, I became sceptical. I asked him why his attitude changed regarding my dad practically overnight. Apparently he just had some sort of epiphany after he punched Paul and almost landed him in the fire. My wolf was apparently right; we needed to forget that my dad ever killed James. And, forget Eric did. The alpha completely acts like _nothing_ ever happened. He's even begun to talk like his brother is still here. It's a little distressing. Paul gets on his case a lot about it, I guess he understands that I really don't like hearing things like, "Oh, Jamie would get a kick out of this!" Or, "Man, too bad Jamie wasn't here to see that!" He's so happy about it though, like one day James is actually going to come waltzing through the door and they are going to experience all these things together. I don't have the heart to tell him it's never going to happen.

At first Eric's relationship with my dad put a bit of a rift between him and Riley, which made Emily the little piggy in the middle. That was a rough two weeks on her. I was actually surprised how hurt she was that 'her boys' weren't getting along and Katie was not at all happy about the fact that her papa, that's my uncle she's referring to, hadn't been coming around to visit with both her daddy and her at the same time. She was rather distressed having to be lugged around by her mama – don't even get me started on this parental situation – to the palace and back every day, seeing as Riley watches her while Eric's working. Luckily for Emily and Katie, Riley came around. I was surprised my uncle was even capable of spending two weeks away from Eric; I should know by now that anything is possible. Yet, the fact that where Eric goes Riley is sure to follow hasn't changed in the least. It is very clear that my dad is extremely grateful that because of Eric's acceptance of him his little brother has started spending time with him again. Things definitely aren't the way they were years ago, but they are making strides forward and I've caught them laughing together. Compared to how things were, that's huge, and dad is loving it – it's easy to tell.

I don't know what's going on, yet even Rachel seems to be in better spirits. At family dinners she always used to seem so solemn and bored, yet, now, when Paul and I go there for dinner every Sunday she'll often strike up conversation with me. Although, I didn't typically enjoy that she was usually asking me if I could remember something specific that James had once done, yet more than once it had her smiling. I thought James would love that memories of him were making a pretty girl happy. It hurt to talk about him, it felt raw, like I was rubbing salt in a wound, but I didn't want people forgetting about him either, especially the good things like my sister was doing. However, it has earned us a strict glare from father a time or two. He doesn't often get angry... there's a reason for that, nobody is dumb enough to piss him off; well, with the exception of Rachel. She'd have happily chattered on about James, though I'm quick to change the topic when I get that look from father – it's the same one I've seen dad give to Brady every now and again. I interpret it as, 'if you fuck up, you die'. I don't even want to know what he's done to get my dad's attention. I pity the fool, especially since father is oblivious.

I had a long talk with mother when Paul started hanging around with dad again. I knew Paul would insist we go to family dinners, yet I also knew he wasn't going to want my mom there because she was uncomfortable around my dad, so he'd often be excluded. I felt kind of mean, though I basically told her to suck it up because I wanted her there. She is the least confrontational person I know and I don't think we've ever once argued. I knew she'd listen to me. I just felt bad asking her to do something I knew she didn't want to do. Although, there's got to be something in the water and blood at the palace, because after a few dinners with my mom and dad together there was a comfortable peace between the two. They weren't nearly as close as they once were, yet I could see that my dad was very happy with the progress so far.

I saw my mother cry when she heard the news that dad had killed James. I knew it wasn't for my friend. She agreed with the law. She agreed that he should be sentenced to death because he tried to kill a king. My mom cried because she didn't want to believe that dad had it in him to do such a thing. I think she was the one that gave me the strength to stand up for what I felt was right, and I felt like it was wrong that James was killed. My mom didn't want to be around a man that scared her and I didn't want be around a man that kills people for the wrong reasons. I'll never dispute that my dad deserved justice and James deserved punishment. However, my dad didn't get justice, he got revenge. Not only that, but my best friend didn't even get a funeral... not even a fucking obituary in the paper. My dad erased him and the saddest part was that nobody came looking for James. Nobody knows he's dead except for my family and pack. Nobody from James' old job or even the guys that use to be his roommates have inquired about him, yet Paul still feels the need to send a big thing of groceries there every month, because apparently, someone needs to make sure those boys are eating properly. I say let them _starve_. Yes, I'm painfully bitter.

I mourn for my friend, yet I fucking hate him with all my might. I don't want to be angry with my dad. I miss my dad. I love my dad. I want my dad back so damn badly. I want to talk to him about my wedding that Paul and I have yet to set a date for. My wolf says the sooner the better, yet I say there's no hurry. Truth is, I can't imagine having this big celebration where Paul becomes my husband, a prince, and the future _king_, without being on good terms with my dad. If it wasn't for my dad none of us would even be here, the kingdom wouldn't be what it is, and I would have never in my life known what it's like to be so incomprehensibly loved. I feel torn. A part of me wants to go running to my dad and beg for his forgiveness, and that part me doesn't believe I deserve it. I feel like I betrayed my family. I feel disloyal. I feel like the worst son that has ever walked this earth. I have a second half to me, though. That half of me thinks I should stick to my guns. That half of me thinks what my dad did was wrong. Yet, even that half of me misses my dad. That half of me thinks I'm a fool. James is gone, but my dad is still here. That half of me wants to know how long it will take me to let go and come to terms with the fact that nothing I do or say will ever change what happened. That half of me wants to know how long it will take for me to forgive my dad for doing the exact same thing I would have done if roles were reversed.

"Hey, you there?" Paul gave my shoulder a little nudge and my knee a squeeze. "You alright?"

I nodded my head and my hands continued to grip my abdomen which was giving me nothing but grief. "Sorry, I was just thinking. What were you saying?" I queried.

My wolf grinned with perked brows. "That you're going to be the worst housewife ever."

I smiled at him and leaned my soggy self over to give him a small peck the lips because I couldn't help myself. "Is that what you want me to be?"

His grin grew even brighter. "Yes, well, besides the wife part – I thoroughly enjoy that penis of yours." I rolled my eyes and snorted with little laugh. "But, on a more serious note, I like you bringing me my lunches and getting to come home to you every day."

"You don't actually have to leave, you know. We've got money. You don't have to work."

Paul's grin faded into a sad smile. "Sweetheart, we've gone over this so many times already. It's not about the money. I love what I do. It takes-"

"Away all your stress." I finished for him. "I know. I understand." And I did, but it didn't change the fact that I was bored. Then again, that wasn't his problem to deal with. He's my fiance, not my source of entertainment.

His smiled returned to its happy state. "Would you ever be interested in that, though? Staying home and taking care of our future pups?"

I could practically see in his eyes how badly he wanted me to be a homemaker and him the breadwinner. I wasn't sure how I felt about this. I shrugged, but what the hell else have I got to do? "Someones gotta, and by the sound of it, it's not going to be you." I huffed in disinterest.

Paul put his hands up as if telling me to stop. "Whoa, whoa, slow down there, Ryan. Don't get too excited!" He teased.

I gave him a reassuring kiss on the cheek. "I'll take care of our puppies and our home, promise." I meant it too; I just hoped it was in like... three-hundred years from now.

His face lit up like a Christmas tree; it was just as delightful too. "I'll make every breakfast and dinner for our family." It worried me how much Paul obviously wanted this family thing. I knew once we were married puppies would be the only thing on his mind. He talks about them enough already. He can't wait for his sons... we're going to have _all_ girls, I just know it. Scary thing is we have to keep going until we get us a little alpha. I don't want a puppy farm, but thank god Emily's eggs are up for taking just in case that's what I'm stuck with. I can't believe I actually had the nerve to ask if I could borrow some of them when the time comes. Yes, I said borrow. I'm an idiot, I know. She said Paul and I could 'harvest' as many of her eggs as we wanted, but there's no refunds or quality guarantees.

I gave my wolf an excited, though fake smile. "I'll make the lunches." I told him – he oddly loved my lunches. I suppose like a good little _missus_ I was talented at making sandwiches. I went to stand to get myself cleaned up, yet I found myself groaning in pain and sitting right back down. "Fucking cramps!" I vehemently complained while cursing the things straight to hell.

Paul gave me a goofy grin, though eyed me with care. "Shit cramps?"

I scowled with a blush. "No, _Paul_, not _shit_ cramps!" I snapped in embarrassment.

He leaned to the side and nuzzled his cheek against mine. "Maybe you should try to go to the bathroom anyway."

I lightly pushed him away and shook my head. "I don't need to go." I firmly stated.

My wolf stared at me, I could tell he was trying to figure out whether to believe me or not. "Well, when was the last time you went?"

"Paul! Stop!" I'm sure my cheeks were scarlet.

His smile turned loving. "I'm just making sure you're not constipated." He explained with a ring of innocence to his tone.

"I'm not constipated." I grumbled.

"You don't have to be embarrassed."

I shook my head. "I'm not embarrassed." I sure as hell was.

"Just give me the word and I'll run to the store and get you laxatives... or prunes."

My eyes widened. "Paulie, no! I don't need to shit!" I loudly proclaimed, as if telling the entire world the news of my bowels.

My wolf gazed at me skeptically. "When did you go last?" He asked once again.

"Paul..." I sighed while giving a good shake of my head.

"Today?"

I rolled my eyes. "Paul."

"Yesterday?"

I crossed my arms. "_Paul_!" I whined.

"Two days ago?"

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed with flailing hands. I felt bad that I accidentally whacked my wolf in the face, but he wasn't getting an apology out of me. "I went this morning before my shower." I don't know why I bothered with that damn shower, though. I'm already a mess hardly a few hours later. "Happy?!"

Paul smiled with a nod and gave my lips such an amazing kiss. I loved it when he nipped my bottom lip like he just did. "Do you need to go again?" Now he's just screwing with me!

"Go to hell." I grumped as I pulled away from him.

He tugged me back to him and wrapped his strong arms around me. "Only if you come with me."

I gazed up at the corny bastard. "Don't get all sappy with me, mister."

Paul nuzzled his nose into my hair and gave my forehead a kiss. "You love it." It was true. I sure did. "Let's get you washed up, though. Wait here." I happily did as instructed since I'm so damn lazy in this atrocious heat.

Paul scampered off to the bathroom and returned with a damp cloth in hand. "Lie back." Doing as told, I laid back. My wolf gently tugged my wet boxers covered in milk and cereal off me and dropped them to the floor. He came on the bed beside me and ushered me into the middle of it, his lips quickly finding mine. He placed the cool cloth on my penis along with the areas surrounding it. It felt strange having him clean there, yet oddly intimate, and it wasn't long until the cloth was lost as well as his clothes.

Paul lowered his head to my abdomen to kiss me better where I told him I hurt. We were both hard, but sex wasn't necessarily on our minds. Well, it was on mine, though it _always_ is. With a smile on his face he softly brushed kisses along my stomach, and strangely enough they felt soothing. My body liked my mate close and as a matter of fact, so did I. I guided his head so it was resting below my navel where the ache was and he closed his eyes while he held my hand. The pain slowly faded and I was beginning to contemplate if I should duct tape him to me.

After a few short minutes my wolf opened his eyes with a chuckle. "You should hear all the ruckus that's going on inside you. You've definitely got gas... it explains the bloating to."

My eyes widened in shock and I glared at my fiance. "Did you just call me fat?!" I exclaimed.

He laughed and poked at my stomach. "No, it's firm. You're not fat, you're bloated." He insisted with a reassuring smile. "I could seriously lie here all day." He happily sighed. "The sound of your gas is strangely relaxing." Ew. "God, you're so perfect..." He paused for a moment and gazed up at me. "Well, no, not really. Going into this whole living together arrangement I had no idea how high maintenance you are. _Had I known_..." He's so full of it. That wolf is so much worse than me. Wash this, clean that, rub my back, do the dishes, vacuum the carpet, you missed a spot, take out the garbage, make the bed, fold the laundry, massage my feet, you wrinkled my shirt, mop the kitchen... need I continue?

I smiled at my wolf and decided to play along. "I'm a prince, what else do you expect?"

Paul grinned. "Perfect obedience and manners." He teased.

"You wish!" I laughed.

He shook his head. "Nah, not really. I like how difficult my imprint can be sometimes. It keeps me on my toes."

I raised my brows. "Me, _difficult_?" I queried in surprise.

"Yeah, _you_, difficult. Have you not heard yourself? Get me this, make me that, suck my dick, I can't reach the remote, my cramps hurt, it's too hot in here, it's too cold in here, that food smells gross, I don't feel good, get me a blanket, not that blanket... need I continue?"

"Hey," I said as I flicked his forehead. "I've never outright said 'suck my dick'."

My wolf lustfully smirked. "True, but if ya wanna..."

"Oh really?" I excitedly groaned. "Suck my dick, Paul."

"Mmm," He hummed as he turned his head, kissing my belly, and made his way lower. "My pleasure, your highness."


	60. Chapter 60

**I know some of you didn't want more James, but I'd say about 90% of you did. So, here's a chapter focusing on him. If you want to skip it, I suggest at least reading Edward's point of view since there's a bit of Paul in it**.

* * *

**Chapter Sixty  
**

_Point of View: Edward**  
**_

I wasn't sure if I was nuts or not. I presumed the former considering popular opinion. However, I'd rather be seen as a nut than the bad guy. Things were certainly looking up and I could hardly believe some of the self-deprecating thoughts that had crossed my mind merely months ago. I couldn't fathom wanting to take my own life now. My husband was a humongous bundle of joy and my newly found sex life exceeded all expectations. I was undoubtedly self-conscious of my scars, yet Jacob still acted like I was still the sexiest thing he'd ever seen. Although, I was uncertain if his thoughts that matched his actions were just for my benefit or if they were actually genuine. Though, leave it to Jacob to not even ask how my feeling returned. He truthfully didn't care; we were fucking after all, and apparently that's what mattered. I tended to agree. Also, it was nice that I didn't have to make up some phony excuse for being able to enjoy our 'time together'.

Things were good, really good, yet I felt like this was the calm before the storm. The numbers aware of James' existence were growing and it was only a matter of time until Jacob got word of it. Eric and Paul visited James frequently; much more than I was comfortable with. Yet, I didn't have the heart to deny James the company. I was thankful that the two wolves were willing to keep the news of him to themselves for the vampire's sake. He had unresolved issues regarding Ryan and I wasn't quite comfortable confessing my actions to my husband. Although, I wasn't sure if I'd ever be, yet I was well aware it had to eventually happen and sooner was probably better at this point. Those two wolves though, they were truly my backbone. They kept me strong and calm when I felt way over my head when it came to James. Admittedly, Eric's company wasn't _horrible_. It certainly wasn't thrilling, however.

I liked Eric. I did. He made me feel smart. I felt bad thinking it, but conversations with him gave me a dearly needed confidence boost – my scars may be ugly, but at least I'm not stupid. Somehow though, the alpha was cute, endearing even. I actually liked it when he'd lay his big fluffy head on my lap and fall asleep, snoring and all, as I scratched his floppy ears. He was eternally grateful to have his little brother back; I think I could have gotten away with slaughtering half the kingdom and so long as I spared his brother I'd still be his hero. It was nice to be appreciated, even if the wolf could be a little overbearing at times. He needed to learn to keep his hands to himself.

It was nice to see the brothers together, though Eric tended to encourage James to use his powers, whereas I liked him not to. Paul, however, was somewhat distant with him. He was thankful the vampire was alive, but I could see in his thoughts that he didn't really trust his 'brother'. In fact, their first meeting went far different than I ever imagined it. James lit up like the sun on a hot summers day the second he caught Paul's scent as we entered his room down in purgatory. I could tell his smile was a genuine one, also I could practically feel the happiness that radiated off of him when he realized Paul was in the room with him.

He got off the couch and placed his cup of blood on a wooden coffee table I had brought down for him when I'd gotten him a new television. "I didn't actually think you'd come see me." He said as he strolled over, finding his way by following mine and the wolf's scent.

Paul shrugged, not that the vampire could see it. "Well, I did." He monotonously replied. James reached out for him. One of his pale hands running along the length of Paul's arm, half of it covered by a grey quarter length sleeved shirt, while his other touched his broad chest. The wolf scowled as he roughly hit both of James' hands away. "Hands off, _leech._"

Despite not being able to see his eyes, James appeared stunned, though mostly hurt. "Oh," He said with a bit of an uncomfortable chuckle. "You never used to mind when I touched you."

The wolf scoffed. "That was before you tortured Ed, threw me across a lawn littered with broken shards of glass, and burnt my house to the fucking ground you piece of shit." He lowly, yet bitterly growled and the lights above us began to flicker, a telltale sign the vampire's emotions were getting the better of him.

Paul's scowl deepened as he gazed up at the ceiling. "Quit it." He hissed, though his hostility only provoked James' emotions further and the flickering got worse.

"I can't help it." Muttered the vampire.

Paul shook his head, visibly irritated by James' response. "Is that your excuse for what you did to our king, that you_ couldn't help it_?!" He exclaimed in anger.

"I don't have an excuse."

The wolf's brows furrowed as his temper rose. "Then why'd you fucking do it, huh?!" He shouted in James' face, which made him turn his head away from him in response. The vampire found himself speechless; he knew it would only infuriate Paul if he said he burnt me with him in mind.

I put a hand on Paul's shoulder thinking it was probably a good time for me to intervene. "Maybe we should go." I suggested. He threw a pissed off glare my way as he shrugged off my hand and just as he thought it he surprised James with a stiff uppercut, throwing not only his head but his whole body rearward.

With a loud pained groan the vampire landed on his back on the cracked concrete floor and the wolf launched himself at him. "Paul!" I shouted while taking off after him, yet was immediately halted in my tracks when the wolf straddled James and gripped the mask covering his eyes.

"I should rip your fucking eyes out!" Paul screamed at his 'brother', whose hands were clinging to the wolf's and desperately trying to keep them lowered and not tugging on the blindfold while attempting to keep a handle on his powers. I've seen what James is capable of in a good mood, I've seen him angry, but I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to know what he could do when he felt threatened.

"Stop!" James cried. "Please fucking stop!"

"Or you'll what?!" Paul shouted by the vampire's ear which caused him to flinch from the ache of it. "Light me on fire?!"

"I don't want to hurt you!" It sounded an awful lot like James was pleading; begging the wolf to not make him do it.

"You admit it! You would!"

"No!" James exclaimed. "I'd never!" I was lost for what to do. I wanted to help the vampire, yet I couldn't pull the wolf off of him, not without risking his eyes.

"Then why Edward?! What did he ever do to you?" Paul heatedly barked in question.

The vampires face contorted into a look that typically went along with tears. "I don't know." He whimpered while he gave up holding onto the wolf's hands and let his own fall to his sides. "I wasn't thinking."

"Do you know what you've done? Do you know what that did to me? I thought I fucking lost you!" The pain in the wolf's tone was undeniable and his face had a distraught appearance that matched it.

"I'm sorry." James whined, and he was; he truly was.

Paul shook his head with an angry growl. "What the fuck is sorry going to do? I thought you were dead! I thought Edward killed you!" He yelled, face scrunched with distress and eyes watery. "I hated you for what you made my best friend do and I hated him for doing it, but you deserved it, you fucking deserved it, Jamie!"

Doubt of Paul's love for him wracked James' thoughts and all his body wanted to do was release a wave of emotion... a burst of his powers. Yet, as if they were a fish on a hook he kept trying to reel them in and flickering of the lights above faded away. "Would you have preferred that?" He timidly queried.

Paul's nose crinkled and tears overflowed from his brown eyes. "You stupid son of a bitch." He breathed, choking back a sob as he fell forward and wrapped James up in a tight embrace. "You're my fucking brother." He croaked through a thick throat. "I need you. I lost my mind without you here."

"Paul..." James woefully moaned while he clung to the back of his brother's shirt. "I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry."

One of the wolf's hands gripped the side of the vampire's blonde hair as he buried his face into the cold crook of his neck. "It's okay." He wept, his back shaking at he spoke.

"Oh god, Paul," James breathed. "Don't cry."

"Shut up, I can't fucking help it. I never thought I'd see your sorry self again..." He pulled away from the vampire in an effort to compose himself and sat by him on the floor. "Fucking prick."

James rose to a sitting position and reached out to find exactly where Paul sat. He found the wolf sitting cross legged by his thigh and kept a hand rested on Paul's knee. "I missed you, man."

The wolf nodded with a sigh as he wiped his tears away while I took a seat on the couch. "Just tell me you love me and let's move on from this shit."

James' cheeks paled with embarrassment. "You know I do." He told him.

The wolf again nodded. "You know I feel the same for you too."

A smile brightened James' face entirely. "Of course." He replied, his mood perking, or so he'd like us to believe. I could see the doubt in the vampire's head. I knew he wondered if Paul actually meant it when he said he loved him. He wondered if he was just being polite or didn't want to upset him.

"Hey, Jamie, you gotta be on your best behaviour. I need you to get outta this shit hole."

"Yeah?" The vampire asked while his smiled evolved into a grin. "Why's that?"

Paul gave James a happy glance and put his hand on the vampire's to give it a little squeeze. "There's going to be a wedding you need to attend." I internally cringed when I heard Paul say this. The wolf hadn't a clue that his brother was still pining for his fiance.

James felt like a pile of cinder blocks had been dumped on his chest, yet he held firm to that bright smile of his and gave the wolf a cheerful nod. "I wouldn't miss it for the world." He lied, not that Paul had the slightest idea. Attending the wedding was the last thing James wanted to do and he quite clearly thought that he'd much rather be down in purgatory and locked away from the world than be part of that celebration. "Besides," He added. "I can't very well have our prince getting married without a best man."

The wolf grinned. "You're kidding! You'd want to be Ryan's best man?" He questioned elatedly. "I know that's exactly what he'd want." James swallowed the sea of venom that pooled in his mouth as he thought about his hatred for this entire situation. He imagined what it'd be like marrying the boy of his dreams, and it stung, it stung so damn badly that Paul was the one Ryan chose. Although, James never really even felt like a choice to begin with. His prince never once considered spending his life with him nor could he imagine himself loving him – it was always Paul, never him, but at least he could say he loved him first. He saw everything Ryan had to offer long before the wolf ever did. He knew what an amazing mate the prince would make and despite all his faults he loved him completely and relentlessly.

James chuckled as he flipped his hand over to give the wolf's a squeeze back. "You really have lost your fucking mind if you think I wouldn't stand at Ryan's side as he married you. It's going to be the best day of your guys' lives, how could I not want to be part of it?" He sounded so convincing, so believable it almost made me feel sick. Because I knew he was lying I felt like I was partly responsible for deceiving Paul, however I wasn't going to break the vampire's confidence and inform the wolf otherwise – I shouldn't know this stuff myself... I had no acceptable reason to speak about what I knew.

The two spent the majority of the day together, much of it spent like this. James was, in a way, happy for Paul; he was very pleased the wolf was in such a good place and excited about everything in his future. Yet, I learnt that day that the future terrified James. He had no idea what it had in store for him and it was evident that the prospect of an eternity of loneliness put a damper on his spirits. He even mentioned as much to Paul.

The wolf just smiled at him and gave the vampire's shoulder a nudge. "Your special someone will come along, you've just got to be patient."

James snorted with a slight laugh. "I think my special someone got hit by a bus or something." He bitterly jested. _'Or you stole him the fuck away.' _He just as bitterly thought.

As much as I tended to have my mind on James, Paul was on it plenty as well. With the engagement and Paul learning of James, the wolf's attitude regarding me did a complete one-eighty. He was extremely apologetic, but I didn't want apologies – I didn't particularly deserve it. Paul would argue otherwise, even Eric would too. I loved my friends... yes, that includes Eric. As for James, my love for him was strong and overwhelmingly fatherly, and at times it caused a slight friction between Paul and I. I was angry that he would often bring up the fire and make James feel guilty for it. I told him he needed to let it go and just forgive him already. He said he did forgive the vampire, but he'll never forget seeing me burn inside the truck and the look on his face while I did. I thought things would go right back to the way things were between them, and he even said he thought so too. Yet, after he saw James for that first time down in purgatory everything was different. He wasn't that lightly tanned, blue eyed, harmless human Paul once loved. Instead Charlie turned him into something unrecognizable and Paul felt he should have seen that the second James woke as a newborn.

I disagreed. Then again, despite knowing James for years, I never really_ knew_ him. I didn't know his human self all that well; the vampire him was lovely and quite predictable to be honest. I spent an ungodly amount of hours studying him like a book and I learnt his triggers well. I learnt what made him smile genuinely; I learnt what made him sad, angry, and all the like. He had his moments where his powers got away from him, though it wasn't really a matter of controlling those, but rather his emotions. He had to learn to not let things affect him so strongly. Paul was good practice and it seemed that because he cared about the wolf so damn much he was able to keep his powers at bay for fear of hurting him.

James was incredibly pained that he couldn't really get anywhere past small talk, conversations about the wedding, and guilt trips with the wolf. Paul felt threatened by James, intimidated, yet he still cared deeply. He visited plenty, but the brotherly love was lacking and the vampire knew it. I hated how the loss of that love fuelled James' dislike for himself. It only aided in his belief that there was something horrendously wrong with him, that he was unlovable. I liked to think he was smarter than his brother Eric, but most of the time I was left uncertain.

However, I think progressing as Rachel's guard has kept his mind off many things that would lower his spirits to an abysmal level. They seemed to tolerate each other. I hadn't a clue what my daughter thought of him; I hadn't a clue what my daughter thought in general. I wished I could see inside her head, but her mind was impenetrable. As for James, his thoughts of her were few and far between. Although, this morning in my princess' room was interesting... _interesting indeed_.

I trusted the vampire immensely, despite Paul encouraging me not to. The wolf threw what I could only describe as a hissy fit when I'd informed him that I'd often spend hours alone with James without guards present – he didn't like the danger that presented. There was no danger, but Paul was more scarred than I was by that fire and couldn't see how sincerely James meant his apologies. Not only did I trust that vampire with my life, but that of my daughter's as well. I was surprised by how fast and easily my trust grew, but grow it did. Despite him blowing things up from time to time, I felt comfortable leaving him alone with Rachel. I knew he'd never harm her, and I fully believed he'd protect her to the best of his capabilities if the need arose. It's others I didn't trust. Too many guards now knew about his presence. It was virtually impossible to sneak him to Rachel's room undetected. Yet, when I wasn't in the palace, the only time I truly felt at ease was when I left him with her. I was hardly going to have my princess spend her time down in purgatory, so bringing him up felt like my only option. I knew one of these days my luck would expire and somebody like Emmett or Jasper would catch us, though so far so good.

Yet, today, was by far the nuttiest decision I've made regarding James. I decided to take him out hunting, and with my daughter no less. I wanted to see how they got along outside the palace. I wanted to see if they could work as a team. Also, if I could truly trust James like I believed, then he wouldn't take off the second I turned my back. Freedom was inches away from him and it was ripe for the picking. He could bolt, and with his powers I would never catch him, nor would anybody else for that matter. Today was the day I would learn where his loyalty lay.

* * *

_Point of View: James_

I probably should have listened to his grace when he said his daughter could be a _little_ difficult. By a _little_ I mean I have to constantly remind myself I'm supposed to protecting her, not killing her. I'm pretty sure she manipulated the fuck out of me when she asked me if I would be interested in being her guard. She acted sweet, sounded smiley, and was chatty – either the princess has multiple personalities or she's just a bitch that knows how to get what she wants; she is _nothing_ like that friendly girl I talked to in my room in purgatory. I used to think my mind was the most miserable place to be; as it turns out that's just bullshit, it's in the company of Princess Rachel Black. She wasn't an awful person by any means, sort of. She was an angry person... a sad person, but mainly angry, and boy was she ever angry.

Edward took the torture device off my face the second week I'd been locked up under the palace. I actually thought I'd be stuck with it for a lot longer than I was, though surprisingly enough the king and I got on quite fucking well, if I do say so myself. So, I think that had a lot to do with it – me and him had gotten pretty damn chummy, which was awesome because he was awesome – too bad I didn't realize that _before_ I lit him on fire – also, I was rather certain he learnt early on I'm harmless. Here, I'll ask him.

I craned my neck to look over my shoulder as we climbed along a rocky ledge of a mountain with Rachel in the lead and in hot pursuit of a cougar for lunch. "Hey, Eddie, you think I'm harmless, right?" I giddily queried and gave the mopey leech a big grin in an attempt to lift his melancholy spirits. He was only down because his boo was away for weekend... the poor darling.

His chocolaty brows furrowed. "You tried to kill me!" He breathed in exclamation. Yes, but I failed! See, harmless. "Eyes forward!" He snapped at me. "You're Rachel's guard, that means you never _ever_ take your eyes off her." I'm not entirely sure the royal jackass knew what he was asking, but I did as the king demanded and aimed my eyes forward. My male mind feasted on the glorious sight of long creamy thighs and a nice round butt hidden by frayed jean short shorts that hung low on curvy hips and showcased a thin waist. Rachel's back was hiding her tits, yet I knew they were there and I knew just small they _aren't_. They were easily a handful, though I was willing to bet a bit more – if I was able to cup them in my palms I doubted I'd be able to grab the whole breast. I kinda fuckin' liked that.

With a loud _thwack_ Ed's hand hit the back of my head. "Mind out of the gutter! She's seven!" He hissed at me.

The princess halted in her tracks and whipped around to face us boys. She's absurdly beautiful, even when she's angry like she appeared to be now. Actually,_ especially_ when she's angry. She has this fierceness in her emerald eyes that matched that of a lethal snakebite. They were the focal point on her face; that, and her full lips that were no different than her brother's, yet it was her long honey brown hair that hung in loose waves that had my attention in the moment. I made a light breeze blow though her hair and watched how it swayed in the wind – I couldn't help but admire my work; I had done a damn fine job styling that bitch's mop!

She had a bit of a crisis this morning seeing as her assistant had a family emergency and couldn't make it to the palace today. Both kings had been away for the night, Ed returning this morning, and I got the uncanny privilege to spend the entire eighteen hours of their time MIA with the princess in her room; unbeknownst to his majesty, of course. I do believe Edward only put me there to babysit Rachel and Brady. With much coercion on my part he lightened up on the pair and would grant them time together, so long as he or I was present. It was ridiculous, I signed up for guard duty – I wanted to kill bad guys, not be a cock block. And, a cock block I wasn't, nor a babysitter, so fuck like rabbits they did. Thankfully the princess' bedroom was made up of multiple rooms and I happily sat around in her lounge while scribbling about on a crossword puzzle.

Yet, last night was the same as all the rest and as soon as things went quiet Brady came through the lounge as he buckled his belt to leave her rooms. "Going so soon?" I queried. "His grace isn't coming back until early morning. If you two fall asleep I'll wake you up in time; don't sweat it."

He shook his head and pulled on his shirt, his russet cheeks flushed from the earlier exertion. "Nah, it's cool – I like sleeping in my own bed." I worried from time to time about the wolf knowing about me, though I understood Eddie was using me as a test to see how trustworthy Brady was. I just hoped I didn't die because the mutt couldn't keep his trap shut. Ed assured me he'd never let that happen, but I still fretted.

I shrugged. "Suit yourself, though fuck knows when you'll get another chance to spend the night with your girl."

He quirked an inky black brow. "My girl?" He asked with a chuckle. "It's just sex, James." This confused the ever loving daylights out of me – it hardly looked like _just_ sex. They kissed plenty and she even told him she loved him on numerous occasions. Granted, he never said it back, but he's a macho kind of man – I figured he had the 'actions speak louder than words' sort of mindset.

"You look surprised." He added.

I nodded. "Well, yeah, I was under the impression you two were kinda a thing." Tell me I wasn't whoring the princess out... that was what it was _really _beginning to feel like.

"No way!" He said with a bit of breathy laughter. "Rachel is smoking hot; I'd have to be insane to pass up a lay like that."

I furrowed my brows. "Don't you love her?"

"Love her?!" He exclaimed. "Look, man, I don't know what kind of bullshit she's been feeding you, but if there's one thing I know about that girl, it's to not believe a single word that comes out of that sexy little mouth of hers. She's a bit..." He did a circular motion with his index finger around his ear as if to call the princess cuckoo. "If you know what I mean."

I finished up my puzzle after Brady took off and after a half an hour or so of silence I got up and peeked through the large arched doorway. There the princess sat at the end of her oversized canopy bed in a black silky robe that only reached the middle of her thighs. "Princess?" I whispered.

Rachel looked my way and scowled with tears in her eyes. "Get the fuck out!" She screamed at me.

I took those words as 'I could really use some company right now' and with a heavy sigh I strode across the creamy white marble flooring to sit beside her. "What's troubling you, your highness?" I questioned

"Right now? You!" She spat.

I smiled softly at the pretty princess. "No, seriously, what's wrong? Is it Brady?"

She took her eyes off me and looked forward, yet as a few tears slipped from them my smile faded and dropped into a frown. "I wanted him to stay." She murmured.

"He says you lied to me." I informed her.

Her watery eyes flicked to mine. "About what?"

"He told me you two weren't an item. He said he didn't love you, yet you told me he did."

Rachel's eyes squinted and her nose crinkled. "He actually said he didn't love me?" She whined.

"I, uh..." I had a bad feeling I said the wrong fucking thing. "Yes." If she sprouted a penis that very minute I'd feel so much better – girls' emotions freaked me out. It was easy and even fun to lecture Paul, and now I get such a huge kick out of telling Edward what to do to make his shit stop stinking, but the ladies were so sensitive and something about their femininity had me feeling horrible each time I saw one of them cry. They were too special to cry.

The princess buried her face in her small hands, her manicured nails painted a pale pink. "I know he doesn't." She cried. I went to put a hand on her back, though quickly pulled it away seeing as the last time I initiated contact, I received a knee to the groin.

"Why did you lie?" I asked.

She limply shrugged as she lowered her fingers to beneath her eyes and looked my way. "Because it sounded nicer than the truth."

I nodded in understanding, because, well, it certainly did sound better. "Do you love him?"

Rachel shook her head of messy hair. "No." She answered.

I cocked my head in confusion. "Then why did you always tell him you did?"

Again she shrugged. "I guess I just wanted to hear him say it back to me. Everybody makes it look so nice to be wanted." Don't I fucking know it. "When I have sex with him I feel wanted."

"But, when he leaves?"

Her hands fell to her lap, lonely and sadness was clear upon her face. "Like it's impossible for someone to love me." I hadn't a clue why a beautiful girl like Rachel would feel this way, or even be interested in such a thing when she's as young as she is, though needless to say I could relate. "Do you think you could love me if you tried?" She quietly asked. My eyes widened and I coughed as I choked on my own venom, which I followed up immediately by biting my tongue – my first response was going to be 'hell no', but I had to figure that was a bad, _bad _thing to say. I'd gladly say the painful truth to a dude, but to a girl, and a princess at that? Fuck no.

I met her eyes as I thought about my answer. I plastered a big smile on my face as I stood and hurried across the room to turn on her stereo. I flipped through the radio stations until I found a slower song I could stand and I made my way back to her. I held my hand out to her. "Wanna dance? We can play pretend." I offered.

"Play pretend?"

I nodded enthusiastically. "I'm your husband, you're my wife, and we're madly in love."

The princess smiled despite her tears and took hold of my hand and wiped her face clean with the other as I pulled her to her feet. She gazed up at me, the top of her head reaching the tip of my nose. "I guess that makes you prince Charming then, huh?"

I snorted at her use of humour. "Hardly."

"I'm being serious." She reached behind my head to tug the elastic from my hair, tucked it in the pocket of her robe, then reached back up to organize the blond strands the way she liked. "Perfect." She sighed with a small smile. "Just like in the movies."

"Are you calling me handsome, your highness?" I questioned with great interest.

Rachel circled her arms around my waist and laid her head on my shoulder. "I'm calling my husband handsome."

I grinned at her willingness to play along and hugged my arms around her. I hadn't a clue how to dance; I'd never done it, but I was a fake it 'til you make it kind of guy and we swayed back and forth in slow soothing circles to the tempo of the tune on the radio. When we got into a comfortable rhythm I rested my cheek in her hair and let out a sigh. "Darling, I swear I've loved you since the first time I saw you." I murmured by her ear, and I felt like an absolute knob for doing so, especially for calling the princess _darling_, but, fuck, I was trying to imagine myself some old geezer and having a trophy wife. It seemed reasonable that I'd call my imaginary wife that.

Her arms tightened around me and I took that as my cue to continue. "You were sitting on a blanket in the park with a bunch of your friends and you were laughing so hard you had tears in your eyes. I was walking by, just cutting through by the pond to get to class, but I couldn't take my eyes off you... I turned around. Do you remember what I said to you?"

Rachel closed her eyes with a slight smile donning her face. "You asked if I had any gum." We both chuckled at what she said. I _would_ say something that stupid. "You were awkward, but cute. Yet, I hadn't a clue what a vampire would do with a stick of gum – I loved the mystery even if you had only made it up just to come talk to me." Her eyes opened and she looked up at me. "I knew the second you opened your mouth that you'd be the man I married. Although, the girls did try to talk me out of going on a date with you that night."

"What?!" I said with a gasp. "You never told me that!"

She laughed into my shirt. "Yeah, they thought you were a bit of a dork."

"Huh..." I hummed. "Can't really argue against that."

"I know." She whispered as I felt her fingers grasp that back of my shirt. "That's what I liked about you most... still do."

I ran my fingers through her hair as I pressed a tender little kiss to her forehead. "You're beautiful, Rachel; inside and out." I complimented while hoping it didn't sound forced. It felt cheap to just compliment her appearance, though it seemed rather lame to say something nice about her personality – I decided on both... both seemed best.

She tilted her head to look up at me. "You think?"

I gave a slight nod and smiled crookedly. "I know so." I brought my hands to her flushed cheeks and held the two of them in my palms. My eyes were glued to hers as I tucked a strand of her silky, though messy bed hair behind her ear. "I'm the luckiest man to have a woman like you." I let the back of my pale knuckles glide along the flawless skin of her cheek. She leaned into my touch so I gave her more of it. "You can't fathom how much I love you."

Rachel smiled, albeit sadly. "I love you too, James – more than you'll ever know." Her words sounded so sincere they almost had me fooled, yet I knew just how fake they were. Yet, the frightening part was that they sounded more real than Charlie's ever did and were exactly the ones I longed to hear come out of Ryan's mouth.

Her right hand let go of the back of my shirt and came to my cheek to touch me just that way I had her. "Do you have any idea how handsome you are?" She softly queried with the sweet scent of her breath reaching my nose.

I rolled my eyes. I never expected the princess would be interested in trying to flatter me. Then again, this was all a sham, so her comment might very well have been one too. "Not really." I answered honestly.

She ran a slim thumb along my eyebrow. "I love how black your eyes are. They look so unreal, but so astonishingly beautiful at the same time." She gazed into my eyes and slowly the sadness in her smile faded. "They're like little pools of darkness, yet I've never seen the dark look so warm, so comforting. It's hypnotizing." Her small hand moved to finger the side of my hair. "You do look like a prince Charming; I think it's the golden hair that does it. You shouldn't ever cut it short, you look perfect just the way you are." She took her other hand from behind me and ran it up my bare forearm and underneath the grey sleeve of my t-shirt by my bicep. "It's the temperature of your skin that I like the most."

"I'm not too cold?" I asked. I've always known Rachel wasn't as warm as a human or as cold as a vampire. I didn't think my temperature would feel comfortable to her.

With the little tingle of warmth coming from the gentle touch of her hand as it slid back down my arm the princess shook her head. "Not at all. You feel just right." She swept a finger along my bottom lip. "I like these too." She commented as the hand that was on my arm came to rest on my hip. I held firm to her gaze, I knew what she wanted; I wasn't oblivious to the fact that she was hitting on me or the fact that her pretty face was coming closer to mine. I stayed absolutely motionless, and quite fucking terrified at that. A part of me wanted to see if her lips tasted as good as her brother's, yet the other part of me could only see the angry face of Edward as she came forward.

Naturally, the idiotic side of me won over any rational thought I might have had and I found myself meeting the princess halfway. Her lips were deceiving – they may look just like Ryan's, but they were nothing like that boy's, and for some odd reason I felt relieved because of it. She kissed me with impossibly soft lips like she meant every word she previously said; I could practically feel the love in my bones – she was a good liar, too good.

She deepened the kiss; I didn't fight it, why would I? I tasted her tongue, her lips, and breathed in her painfully arousing scent. It was sweet, but spicy, and smelt just as dangerous as the look she often had in her eyes. I was growing inside the old baggy track pants that I wore – it was impossible for Rachel to be unaware of the effect she had on me. I felt assured of this fact when she pressed herself snugly against me, her hip nudging my hard on – my body on its own accord forcing me to let out a little groan. My cock was left virtually untouched for over a year and as badly as I wanted to jerk my junk down in purgatory the lack of privacy was off putting. Needless to say, I was really goddamn sensitive.

Before I could even comprehend what was going on the princess dropped to her knees and pulled my pants down along the way. She almost instantly hand the warmth of her hands around my stiff dick, yet I reacted immediately when I saw her leaning forward. I pulled myself away from her and quickly lifted my pants back up. She looked absolutely stunned by my reaction. "It's because I'm a girl right?" She curiously asked. "You can pretend I'm my brother. I don't mind."

My eyes widened in surprise and I fervently shook my head in refusal as I bent to carefully lift her up from the floor by her upper arm. "You should mind!" I vehemently insisted.

Her brows furrowed and she appeared downright confused. "Why?"

If my eyes widened any further they'd fall out of my skull. "I don't know, because you're a princess, you're far too good for that shit. If anything you should be wanting to pretend I'm somebody else."

She held my gaze along with my face in her gentle hands that seemed utterly delicate. She gave me a small smile, a precious one – a smile that I felt the absolute urge to treasure. "I bet countless people pretend it's _you_ they're with." She beautifully mused.

I snorted with a little laugh of disbelief and gave my shoulders a bit of a shrug. "Kay." I said. She had to be fucking with me; there just wasn't any other option.

That gorgeous smile of hers didn't fade one bit. "I love you." She quietly chimed, like fragile bells right from the heavens itself were ringing in my ears. "You're the most perfect husband."

Rachel's emerald eyes had a tender sadness in them; it was as if she had a hopeless dream on her mind. "As I love you, princess." I told her as benevolently as one could.

She gave her head a small shake. "I don't want to be your princess. I liked it when you called me darling... I want to be your darling."

I nodded and gave her a slight smile. "And my wife." I added.

Rachel's smile brightened in a way I've never truly seen it shine. "Especially your wife." Her hands lowered as she backed toward her bed. Her lithe fingers pulling on either end of the sash that held her robe closed and I found myself tripping over my own feet as I darted forward to cover her skin just as she exposed it.

"Darling!" I gasped, and rather awkwardly I might add. "What are you doing?!"

She appeared just as confused as before. "Don't you want to have sex with me?" It was strange how nonchalantly she asked me that; it was as if she were asking the time, yet instead she was asking if I wanted her body and the god's honest truth was fuck yes, yes I wanted it, _but_ hell no would my dick ever get the chance to enjoy it. Edward liked me and I had an... _emotional response_ when I thought of him. I wanted to say it was near love, or like it at least, perhaps it even was. Though, maybe I was too stubborn a leech to admit that I loved that king like the father I never had. If I admitted it that would make it real, and if it's real, it's something that can be taken from me. I didn't want to ever lose what I had with Edward, but I was prepared for the inevitable fact that I would. In the meantime, I was trying my fucking hardest not to screw up what I had going. Women though, women _never_ make anything easy. Or maybe it's just the Black family.

Rachel's hand reached for my crotch and I lightly pushed it away before she could touch. "You're beautiful," I began to explain as I tied her robe closed with a neat bow. "Extremely beautiful, and I'd love nothing more than to..." How do I put this tactfully? "Make love to you." Dear god, I sound like _such_ a tool. "But, uhh..." Now, how do I say this nicely? "I don't think that's a very good idea."

She sighed and adverted her eyes from mine. "Because you're gay, right?"

My brows pinched together on their own accord – did I look queer or something? "I'm not gay." I deadpanned. "Firstly, I don't want your dad to kill me. And secondly," I smiled for good measure. "I'm not going to treat my wife like a slut."

Her gaze snapped back to mine and there was an ounce or two of joy hidden beneath her breathtaking exterior. "You're not gay?" She questioned incredulously.

"Nope." I said with a chuckle of insecurity. "Not completely at least."

With lack of understanding the princess crinkled her pretty nose. "I'm not sure I follow."

"Penis, vagina, balls, and tits." I listed off with a shrug. "It's all the same to me. I'm not more attracted to dudes or chicks; it's all on an individual basis."

"Oh," She said, her voice just barely hinting at excitement. "And what do you think of me?"

"Well," I hummed, making her wait for an answer for few moments. "I married you didn't I?"

She took a small step forward so her body was nearly flush with mine and she placed a hand on my chest while another twiddled my hair between her fingers. When her eyes met mine I knew what she was silently asking for and I did my best not to disappoint. I kissed her how I always imagined Ryan would one day kiss me... like I was that one little piece that made him feel whole. Like he'd be lost without me in his arms. Like he couldn't imagine a forever without me. I kissed Rachel in a way I never had the guts to kiss Ryan; except, I made it all for her. I played pretend.

I cupped her flushed cheek in the palm of my hand as I kissed her like she was the one thing in my life that I couldn't live without, like she made me whole. I lightly grasped her hip with my other hand and slowly slid it to the small of her back while I kissed her like this is where she belonged, right here in my arms – like I'd be lost without her in them. From her cheek, my fingers glided their way through her hair to the back of her head to let her know I wasn't ready to let her go just yet. I continued to kiss her as if she were the only thing that mattered in my forever, as if I'd never be able to let her go... as if were an impossibility to not be kissing her.

Rachel pressed herself to me, her slender arms holding me firmly to her and just as I kissed her, she kissed me. In her embrace it seemed as if I was her world... her sun, the moon, and the stars. With just her lips alone she made me feel like the most loved man there is, with her touch the most important, and with just her presence, the luckiest. It didn't even matter that it was all fake; it was still so much more real than anything I'd ever felt.

She guided me onto her bed where she once again tried to remove her robe. I kept her covered. "You don't have to be naked for me to love you." I received extraordinarily wonderful kisses for those eleven tiny words and a few moments later I padded over to her white wooden dresser to remove a pink pair of pj's that matched her nail polish.

She smiled at my gesture. It was a kind smile, a beautiful one, and I turned my back to give her privacy as she changed. When she was decent I hung her robe on the back of her bathroom door for her and crawled back into bed with her. She was snuggled under her white down comforter looking like the absolute princess she is, yet a little slice of me felt elated that my _wife_ was so quick to mold her body to mine and lie her head on my chest.

I hugged my arms around her and buried a kiss in her hair. "Are you tired?" I queried.

Rachel nodded with a yawn. "I haven't slept in three or so days."

"Sleep then; I'm not going anywhere."

Happily she hummed, sweetly she smiled, and her pretty green eyes slowly closed. "See you in morning." He tiredly murmured. "Love you, Jay." I stiffened at her choice of nickname for me and my thoughts immediately drifted to Charlie. I tended to do a good job not thinking about him, though I felt rather bitter whenever I did. I never could have predicted things would end so terribly between us. If someone told me my vampire would one day leave me for someone else I honestly think I'd have laughed in their face.

He was so special... practically perfect. His smile made my heart flutter and his laughter always made me feel loved, especially when we laughed together. He made me feel worth something. He made me feel invincible, like I could conquer the world with him at my side and it didn't matter that I was only a mere human. He made me feel like such a fucking man, yet I destroyed it all, and for what? To shame myself by begging for Ryan? I knew I didn't stand a goddamn chance yet I went and threw my dignity under a bus any way. I learnt the hard way never to be selfish. I had something so amazing right in front of me, but I couldn't fucking see it – not with the prince blinding me.

Why is it that humans are never satisfied? Why is nothing ever good enough? Why do they always want more? I had _everything_ I dreamt of – the love of a beautiful boy, yet when I finally realized exactly what I had it was too late. I died. If I just could have appreciated him I'd still be human and he'd still be all mine. I didn't deserve him. I never deserved him, and it just goes to show you that I was never good enough in the first place, neither dead nor alive.

The princess's eyes fluttered open. "You're tense... how about Jay-Jay instead?"

I smiled at the gorgeous girl in my arms. I didn't care how fake this all was, it was still so much better than reality – I might not have gotten a prince, but I snagged myself a princess. How about that? "Jay-Jay is perfect." I answered.

"Good..." She whispered as her eyes fell back closed, her long lashes brushing against the smooth skin above her cheekbones and below her eyes. "I love you, Jay-Jay."

"I love you too, darling."

I stayed in bed with her the entire night. I felt like a desperate fool because of it, but I was truly in no hurry to go back to my crossword puzzle. Instead, with eyes closed, I listened to the even in and out of her breathing while soft tunes played on the radio. Her heartbeat was quiet and nearly undetectable at times, yet was beautiful just like her all the same. Though, the longer I held her in my arms the more I began to wonder what she tasted like. I couldn't decipher whether she smelt remarkably pleasant or utterly delicious, yet I'd decided that the mixture of her blood and venom that flowed through her veins would taste nothing short of scrumptious.

However, my musings were rudely interrupted bright and early in the A.M.. "Ahem." A throat cleared, startling my eyes opened and I was greeted with hungry dark eyes belonging to the king peering at me. "Good morning." Ed chuckled and I let out a sigh of relief. I'd live to see yet another day.

I cautiously got out the princess's bed making a great effort not to wake her. "Hey," I whispered us I came to stand in front of him, though with my hand on his arm I spun as around so I was facing Rachel while she slept. "Sorry, I know things don't look very good, but she had a rough night."

Edward smiled fondly at me like he so often did, just like a father would at his son. I ate it up like a kitten being fed milk. "I didn't think anything of it, not with it being you in her bed. You're thoughts however..."

"Sorry," I apologized once again. "I forgot to feed yesterday and I'm getting pretty thirsty. But, I'd never, you know..."

His brows furrowed. "Bite her?" He queried and I nodded. "Of course you wouldn't." His smile that had briefly faded, returned. "You know I trust you." Again I nodded. "In fact, besides family, you're the only man I trust with my daughter." I grinned at his compliment and felt undeniably proud of myself that the king would trust me with something as important as the princess. "You're special." He was always calling me special, _always_, and I didn't mind in the slightest. If he wanted to try to inflate my deflated ego, then all the power to him. God, how I prayed he kept trying. "You're better than everybody else." I didn't know where he got this nonsense from, but he spouted it all the time. I was appreciative. "You've got all this power; more than any king, and more than any man should have, yet fate has blessed you. You're going to amount to something great, James. I can practically feel it in my bones." What a flatterer, eh? Any nicer and he'd be on his knees with my cock in his mouth.

"You're so damn insane, Ed, you're lucky you're hot and had a wolf imprint on you. In your case fate didn't bless you; it took pity on you and gave you his majesty."

His grace cocked his head and eyed me incredulously. "Why do I like you again?" He playfully questioned.

"No damn idea. But, I need to talk to you about something important." I glanced to the princess who appeared to be fast asleep. "It's about Brady."

"Oh?" He questioned in interest.

I sucked in a deep breath and forced myself to speak. "I was wrong about him." I felt like such a rat, though I was Rachel's guard. It was my duty to keep her safe. The wolf didn't necessarily pose any kind of physical threat, but I wouldn't have her crying over some mongrel that I firmly believed was taking advantage of her. I understood that she could come on a little strong if she had you under her radar, yet any decent man wouldn't use that to his benefit.

Edward's pale face visibly paled even further. "What the fuck did he do?" He angrily growled.

I shook my head. "That doesn't matter. I'd just like you to pass on the message that if he so much as breathes in the princess's general direction that he'll learn what his bowels taste like."

"What the fuck did he do to my baby?!" He snapped in exclamation. Ryan was his puppy, Rachel his baby, when was he going to let his kids be the adults they're becoming?

I thought about telling him what happened, though I quickly decided against it. "Look," I sighed. "I'm here to keep an eye out for the princess, not you. The things I see and what her and I talk about, that stays between us. I take this job seriously, so not only is she safe with me, but so is her confidence." I flicked my sight over Ed's shoulder to glance once more at Rachel and found her eyes open and on me. She looked downright adorable all tucked into her bed with wild hair and rosy cheeks. She smiled at me like I was exactly the first thing she wanted to see when she wakes from her sleep and she mouthed the words 'I love you'. I didn't understand the excitement I felt when I learned she still wanted to play pretend, though I hardly cared because I so badly wanted to play too.

A smile played on my lips and his grace turned his head to see what had caught my eye. I mouthed the same words to Rachel, although the second she met her dad's eyes an unpleasant scowl marred her pretty features. "Why are you in here?" She hissed at him. "You said we weren't going hunting until the afternoon. James and I were just fine on our own." Despite her being such a grump her attitude made my smile grow. The little lady made it seem like she wanted me all to herself.

The king sighed with a nod. "I know, honey, but I was informed earlier that your assistant had an unfortunate family emergency and won't be able to make it in today."

"What?!" She shrieked while sitting up. "That whore can't do that! I'm the princess, she can't just _not_ show up!" There's the princess I know and can't stand.

"Her child is ill with blood poisoning in the hospital. I granted her the day off."

"Why would you do that?! I can't count on you for anything! Where's her replacement?!" She exclaimed in anger.

Again Ed sighed. "I'm more than capable. I can help you get ready for the day."

I chuckled at the horrified expression on Rachel's face, though stifled myself when she shot me a furious glare. "Absolutely _not_!" She shouted. Her face was twisted in anger as she threw back her blankets and slid her legs over the side of the mattress with her feet heavily hitting the white fur rug at her bedside.

The princess stalked past her dad, she reached out and her small hand surprisingly grabbed my wrist hardly enough that it hurt. "James will fulfil her duties for the day." She barked in demand.

"That isn't appropriate. He's your guard, I won't have you treating him like a slave."

She rolled her emerald eyes and placed a hand on her hip. "He's a prisoner. He practically _is_ a slave."

A look of anger crossed the king's face and he stepped toward her. "James is _not_ a prisoner." He hissed while he pulled his daughter's vice like grip from my arm. "Unfortunate circumstances have led to him having to room in purgatory." Well, if that ain't sugar coating the shitty fucking truth then I don't know what the hell is. "His gate has remained unlocked for weeks now and the guards are only there in case he is in need of something."

"Awesome." Rachel snidely remarked. "Neither one of us are able to come and go as we please, yet you make it seem like we're free, but we're not... not even close. So, what am I? A prisoner, or is James a _fucking_ princess?"

Ed's brows furrowed and I could tell he was becoming frustrated. "Watch your tone of voice and language, Rachel." He sternly stated.

Her eyes became cold as she stared at her dad. "I'd tell you to fuck off and go _suck a dick_, but I'm afraid you might enjoy it too much."

"I could say the same to you." He snapped back in reply, and I'm positive the shock I felt on the inside matched that of the princess's outside. Without a word Rachel took off toward her closet and slammed the door of it behind her.

I met the king's eyes and shook my head. "Not cool, Eddie." I chided.

"Well, what the fuck would you have me do, huh? She doesn't listen to me when I talk nicely. She doesn't listen when I'm firm-"

"Yeah, but calling her a whore isn't going to help anything." I said in interruption.

His eyes narrowed in on mine. "I didn't call her a whore."

I inhaled a deep breath and sighed. "Intentionally or not, you implied it."

Edward's shoulders slumped. "God, is it even any wonder my children can't stand me?" He melancholically queried.

I gave his arm a friendly slap and a squeeze. "Dude, you're being _way_ too hard on yourself. I'll go talk to her. She'll be fine."

He shook his head. "Maybe we should let her cool down a bit."

"Nah," I said as I headed for the closet. "Just let me handle it." I hadn't a fucking clue how to handle it, but figured I couldn't do any worse than the king himself.

I knocked on the door and twisted the knob, yet found it locked. "Fuck off!" I heard her yell.

"It's James." I softly told her and a few seconds later I heard the click of the lock. I pushed the door open, closing it behind me, and despite her watery eyes I smiled at her. "What are all those tears for?" I asked.

The princess stood on the far side of her closet by her full wall of shoes that had a large mirror in the centre of it from floor to ceiling – I was pretty certain that her closet was larger than the room her brother had on the main floor. "I hate my dad." She mumbled under her breath.

I crossed the room past two island like tables that held all her accessories. Feeling confident I wrapped my arms around the princess and held her close to me. "Prince Charming to the rescue."

She relaxed into my embrace and circled her arms around my waist, connecting her hands behind me. "Are you going to steal me away from this wretched palace and the fire breathing dragon I call dad?" Rachel questioned as she rested her head on my shoulder.

I tucked a kiss into her sweet smelling hair. "Something like that." I'd never steal her, though I had every intention of helping her get a life beyond home. I couldn't explain why I cared so much that I did this, yet I wanted to help the second she asked me a few months ago. Perhaps I'm just a sucker for a pretty face.

"My brother is a fool." She whispered, though I couldn't tell if she was speaking to me or herself. "He could have had you all to himself." My eyes widened as she spoke. I hadn't a clue if she was actually talking me up or we were playing pretend. I felt it safe to assume the latter. "You're my husband now, though. So, I guess I win."

I quirked a brow while I held her tight in my arms. "Ryan is hardly a fool. Paul _is_ the better choice, even I can't deny that."

She shook her head which caused her hair to tickle my nose that had been dipped into it. "If I had to choose you or Paul, I'd pick you every day of the week for all of eternity. Paul is a good man, but you're a great man, and in my eyes, the best." _God_, that woman really knew what the fuck to say to make me feel on top of the goddamn world. To hell if it were lies, I didn't care – I wanted to believe it. If kids get Santa and the Easter bunny it ought to be fair that I get a fantasy life where a princess adored the absolute shit out of me.

I gently angled her face toward mine and eagerly stole a kiss. I feared for both my life and my balls that Ed would see in my head what I was up to. I couldn't help myself, however. I wanted the princess's lips on mine and I was certain she was desperate enough to want mine on hers just as badly. I tried to push the thoughts of what I was doing out of my mind, though it was next to impossible. The kiss enticed every inch of my mind to think about nothing but her and how perfectly her mouth fit with mine. Her and all her femininity was incomparable to Charlie – her beauty reached heights far greater than his and her pretend love felt more sincere than the love he had for me which he claimed to be genuine. As for Ryan, I didn't know what to say. I was infatuated with his little fucking sister and now that I've felt her lips and all they had to offer I wasn't certain if I could ever yearn for his. Her kiss was as soft as clouds and sweet as honey. His kiss was nice, but always left me feeling more alone than ever; Rachel's lips bared the opposite effect.

A knock at the closet door had me ripping myself away from the princess and my mind tumbling back to reality. I opened the door only a mere few seconds after the knock and felt my body stiffen when my eyes came in contact with the king's. _He knew_. "Sorry, daddy." Edward's eyes quickly adverted from mine when he heard his daughter apologize. I hadn't been spending a hell of a lot of time with Rachel, but when I did I never heard her refer to him as her dad to his face.

I backed away from the door so he could step through. "What are you sorry for, hon?" He queried.

"Being rude." I wasn't sure if she was being honest or just saving my ass and distracting him.

"What I said, Rachel-" Ed started.

"You didn't mean it." She finished for him and added a little smile for effect. "I know."

He nodded and continued toward her, though I could see that he was hesitant. "I was way out of line." He added. "I just... I get so frustrated sometimes. I wish you'd tell me why you're so angry instead of taking it out on me." He stopped a few feet in front of her, yet she just shrugged in reply. "Why were you upset with me when you woke?"

"It's nothing."

"It's something to me, Rachel." Ed insisted. I couldn't see his face, though I could picture the pensive expression on it. "Please tell me." Rachel shook her head no and just from the back of his I could tell the king's irritation was growing. "C'mon, talk to me."

The princess sighed and tucked her long bangs behind her ear. "Dad, can you do me favour?"

"Anything." He quickly responded.

"Go away and never come back." Immediately after her cold-hearted words Edward turned his back to his daughter and I knew it was specifically to hide the hurt on his face.

I strode over to him in an attempt to comfort him, yet before my hands could even touch him he was shoving me out of his way as he made his way for the door. "James, get the shower ready for my daughter. I'll be back in an hour or so to see what kind of progress has been made." He instructed on his way out.

I turned my head to Rachel. "I don't understand why you treat him so shitty."

She shook her head. "Of course you don't, you weren't raised by him." She quipped, sounding all too sure of herself.

"I wish I was." I retorted, albeit much more rudely than intended. Yet, it seemed to have gotten all of her attention. Her pretty green eyes were firmly on my black ones and she was clearly waiting for something else to be said. "Maybe you should try to focus on what he has given you instead of what he hasn't. I know you don't get to go to the mall with friends or out on dates with cute boys, but you have a dad that would sell his fucking soul to the devil if it was in your best interest."

"He's not a good guy." I had to disagree. If he wasn't an _amazing_ guy I'd have been nothing but ash long ago.

"Good guy or not, he still loves you and he's still your dad – you're lucky just to have those two things."

"I think you're the lucky one."

I shook my head. "Then you, darling, are fucking deluded." Her brows furrowed and I couldn't help but laugh. She may be an utter cunt, but she's a beautiful cunt... quite a lovely cunt actually. I damn near liked that bitchy ass princess, and with her brows all clenched together like that I found her ridiculously endearing. "Okay, on to less important matters... What would you like for your shower? The lavender or vanilla scented products?"

"Vanilla, but the strawberry ones too," She told me with her face perking and a small smile upturning her full pink lips. "And aqua blue towels."

"And how do you like the temperature of your water?"

"Luke warm, maybe even a little chilly."

I grinned at the pretty little lady. "Alright, your highness, coming right up." I said on my way out.

It was no surprise that Rachel was perfect spank bank material when she was sitting in nothing but a towel on an upholstered bench fit for one at her vanity table and mirror. Despite lusting for her, I felt like such a queer – I had not only dried her hair, but curled it too using one of the large wands to get nice waves instead of ringlets. I think if I had done a terrible job I'd be more secure with my masculinity, except I did a damn fine job which made me feel like I was a few minutes away from a limp wrist and a lisp. However, the happy smile I received from a half nude princess and the fact that I kept thinking that it'd be so easy to make her towel slip down her breasts with just a smidgen of my power made me feel a little less... I don't know, Ryan-ish.

Rachel ran her fingers through her silky hair that smelt like a mixture of strawberries and vanilla with that smile still clinging to those all too kissable lips of hers. "You've had to have done this before." She remarked as she gazed at herself in the mirror.

I shrugged. "Yeah, but not since I was just a boy. I lived at an orphanage with lots of girls. Most of the boys were pups; they wouldn't play with me since I was human. For the most part, I don't think it was anything personal, they just played too roughly and didn't want to be the guys who broke the human." The princess's smile faded, but I continued on nonetheless from where I stood behind her. "Every orphan girl I've come across was nice to me." I met her reflections eyes and grinned at her. "I'll have you know I look horrendous in a pair of leotards and red lipstick."

Rachel's smile returned as she giggled to herself. "Your brother Eric must have hated that."

"Nah," I said as I shook my head and lifted the sides of her hair to have it fall over her shoulders instead of being stuck behind them. "Things were good back when I was getting up to that kind of stuff. He just said for me tell him if any boys made fun of me so he could kill 'em."

"Did the boys make fun of you?"

I nodded with a laugh. "All the fuckin' time!"

"Did you ever tell?" She asked inquisitively.

"Not once." I admitted. "I was terrified Eric would actually kill one of them and he'd get taken away from me."

"Oh..." She hummed. "What was school like? The girls must have loved you."

Again I laughed, quite nearly guffawing. "No, the girls weren't interested. By time junior high rolled around I was some loser foster kid that was also super fucking awkward to boot. Plus, it was known I was friends with the prince – I can't tell you how many times I've been called a fag just because I hung out with him. When I was really insecure about my sexuality I'd get in fights over it, but once I got okay with the fact that I had a huge hard on for Ryan it didn't bother me so much, especially since there were plenty of chicks I thought were hot too."

"Is the kingdom not generally tolerant of homosexuals?"

My brows rose. "No, no, the kingdom is great, but it's always the assholes that stick out. In a day you can pass hundreds of people that smile kindly and don't say a word, though it's always the one that pipes up calls you a cocksucker that's going to ruin your day. It's funny how people always forget about all those people that smiled beforehand – Ryan would dwell on the people that made fun of him and never notice the ones who didn't. Paul was a quick learner, though. Call that wolf a fag and he'll grin with pride, he loves that imprint of his too fucking much not to."

She gazed at me incredulously in the mirror. "How can you sound so happy about Paul loving him? Aren't you jealous?"

"Well, duh," I stated with a forced chuckle. "But I love Paul like I love Eric. If I can't have Ryan at least I can rest assured knowing he's with a wolf who adores him and will strive to make him happy. If I lost the prince to someone say like, I dunno, _Brady_, I'd probably have to kill him. Brady that is, totally not Ryan."

Rachel looked over her shoulder at me. "Brady _is_ hot."

"He's also a prick and I meant what I fucking said to your dad."

"Is that so?" I nodded in reply to her question and she mischievously smirked. "Who's going to satisfy my _needs_ then?" I was not at all oblivious to what she was implying, yet I wished I was. I couldn't deny to myself that I wanted to fuck her stupid. I wasn't entirely sure I was capable of such a feat, but I'd try my fucking damnedest and give it my goddamn all if my dick ever got the opportunity to say hello to her pussy.

With my hands rested on her shoulders I leaned down and kissed my way across her creamy white cheek to greet her lips with mine. I don't know why it kept surprising me just how wonderful they were, but it did and I fucking liked it. "I know exactly what will satisfy your needs." I growled against her lips. I was hard, I was horny, and I wanted to be inside this beautiful and royal pain in my ass.

She swivelled on her seat and stood, wrapping her arms around my neck. "And what's that?" She breathed in question, her mouth barely leaving mine for an instant.

I smiled into the kiss. "Your right hand." I already made a promise to myself last night that I'd be damned if I let my penis get the better of me. Yes, I wanted to cum. Yes, I wanted her to be the one make me do it, and hell to the fucking yes did I ever want to see her do the same, but fuck no. Just _fuck no_. A good nut was not worth the consequences. I wasn't some wolf that humped everything that had two tits and a hole. I'm a vampire, and even if my powers got away from me from time to time, my dick sure wasn't. My mouth however... well, that thing just had a mind of its own when it came to the princess's lips – I just prayed that didn't include her other set as well.

The clearing of a throat had me nearly flinging myself away from the princess and ripping my hands and lips off her like she was made of lava. My wide black eyes met Edward's eerily calm ones. He was thirsty, that much was evident by the inky dark colour of them, but the fact that I couldn't see the urge to murder in them made me feel uneasy. "Go get dressed, Rachel, I want to get going." He told her.

I don't know why, though she looked at me and I found myself nodding for her to scram from the bathroom while I mentally begged her to keep her trap shut and not say a word that might antagonize the king. She gave me a friendly smile that I doubted I'd ever seen on her before. "See you in a minute, Jay-Jay." She said as she squeezed past her dad in the doorway.

He quirked a brow and it was then I noticed the folded clothes he held in his arms that had a pair of shoes on top. "Jay-Jay, huh?" He queried.

"I, uh, no." I didn't have a fucking clue what I was saying or what _should_ be said. "Well, yeah. I mean, yes. Just yes... and no. Fuck..."

Edward chuckled and handed over the shoes and clothes to me. "Yesterday Jake and I had to attend separate meetings and I had a few hours to kill once mine were finished. I had you stuck on my mind and thought it'd be a good idea to finally get you some of your own clothes instead of the raggedy old stuff I gathered from around the palace." The raggedy old stuff he was referring to was far better than any clothes I have ever been able to afford myself. I had to wonder if he thought a hobo was visiting Ryan when I used to come to the palace. "The drawers in your room are stocked full. If there is anything you don't like we'll exchange it for something you do."

I looked down at the stuff in my arms and my eyes caught the logo on the navy and brown leather lace-up ankle boots the king had gotten me – my heart just about restarted just so I could have a heart attack. "Armani?" I gasped. "I thought you were a frugal son of a bitch."

Ed grinned and gave my arm a pat. "I'm hardly frugal when I'm trying to spoil someone. Ryan never wanted this sort of stuff; him and his father have always been quite content with whatever clearance section they could find. I am hoping to corrupt you."

I shook my head in disbelief. "I could never afford this stuff on my own and I don't really appreciate handouts. I liked the stuff I already had just fine." I didn't want to come off rude or ungrateful, because I certainly was grateful; it was just embarrassing.

He snorted with a bit of amused laughter. "You certainly can afford it and if you don't want me paying for your clothes I'll just go ahead and take it out of your savings."

"I don't have any savings..." I mumbled, and even if I did it'd be long gone seeing as I'd been 'executed'.

The king's brows furrowed. "Wait," He said in confusion. "You do realize you haven't been working for free, right?"

"Uh... actually, I was under the impression I was."

"Fuck no!" He exclaimed in laughter. "It may seem like you just sit around most of the time, but you're here to _die_ for my daughter if need be. You protect her with your life. I take that very seriously. You're being paid appropriately."

"You sure about that?" I queried and I glanced down to the clothes. "You made it sound like I had enough in the bank to afford this shit."

He gave me a nod of his head. "You can." He seemingly assured me. "When you're not with Rachel I have four guards posted outside her bedroom. However, when you are with her she has no guards present but yourself. You're doing the work of four men, so I pay you their salaries combined plus double that for your... _qualifications_."

"Jesus..." I breathed. "You may as well be throwing away your money."

He waved me off. "Nonsense. You're practically a weapon of mass destruction and one day you may very well be called on to act as such. Excluding my family, you're the most valuable asset the kingdom has. There will come a day where you'll prove your worth."

My brows raised. "You have far too much faith in me."

The king shook his head. "It has nothing to do with faith." He told me with a smile. "Now, hurry and get cleaned up; I'm starving."

I nodded while he took a few small steps back toward the door, though I found my eyebrows pinching together as he exited. "Wait!" I called after him. I came to stand in the doorway and Ed met my gaze. "Aren't you forgetting something?" I considered the thought that I might be digging my own grave by bringing this up, but I had to know if he was planning on pulling apart my body piece by piece and burying me throughout the forest on this 'hunting trip'. "Rachel and I..."

Edward smirked at me. "I pray Brady doesn't heed the warning you requested I give him. I'd love to witness your wrath." As much as I prayed for that too, I was still unsure if a certain king's _wrath_ would be unleashed upon me.

His smirk faded into a smile and I waited in anxious anticipation for what he was about to say next. "Son, there's no man I trust more with my daughter than you – I know you'll always do right by her... of course if you don't, I'd be rather tempted to do what my husband believes I did to you. What I don't know is if you two are just fooling around or if there is actual feelings involved."

"There are no feelings, your grace."

He frowned at my honesty. "That's a shame," He sighed. "But nevertheless, you have my blessing to pursue her if you so choose." He turned straight-faced. "_Please_."

I quirked a brow. "_Waaait_, did you just ask me to pursue her?" I queried in astonishment.

"Yes and no. I just want you to keep other guys away from her."

"You're meddling." I warned him.

He stepped close to me, leaning in, and lowered his voice. "You don't know how many guards her father and I have had to fire because she has slept with them." Why doesn't that surprise me? I was actually rather glad not be another notch on her bedpost. "Her actions have torn apart entire families and she's garnering quite the unpleasant name for herself out in the community. The only reason I kept the news of Brady to myself when I found out about it was for Jacob's benefit – he'd flip and I haven't a clue how it'd affect his pack."

"I know you mean well, Ed, but the only way I'll intervene is if I know without a doubt the dude is bad for her."

"Come on, man." He pleaded. "I'll even double your pay for the inconvenience."

I laughed and shook my head. "You don't actually think you can bribe me do you?"

"I'll triple it." He countered.

Well, there goes my morals right out the fucking window. "Deal." I stated as I held out my hand for him to take.

He grinned and shook my hand. "Deal." He said with a nod. "Now, I'd have you work full time, but you're stalling more than I am and Paul is getting antsy. He doesn't like keeping a secret this big from Ryan. Don't you think it's about time Ryan be told about you? It's unfair that he's being left in the dark."

I shrugged. "I don't see what the big deal is keeping him out of all this. Why are you in such a rush all the sudden anyway?"

"My son fucking hates me because he thinks I _murdered_ you, plus I want Jacob to know about you... Well, no, I'd rather avoid him ever knowing, though seeing as that's an absolute impossibility I just want to get it over with. And, so long as you keep your emotions in check I feel like there's no reason for you to be living in purgatory. You should be living up here and by Rachel's side." He sure made that Rachel bit sound so much more than it is.

I nodded in understanding. I didn't agree, however. "Even if his majesty is gracious enough to let me live he's never going to allow me to stay here, let alone practically live in his daughter's room." I protested.

"You leave Jacob up to me to sort out. But, back to Ryan... I know you love him, so don't you want to see him?"

I gave my head a shake. "Not at all." I answered truthfully. "And it's because I love him that I don't want to see him. I know it's _really_ fucking selfish of me, but I don't want to hear about how excited he is about his wedding, I don't want him to brag to me about his first time with Paul, and I really don't care to know how great his life has been without me in it. I like to think he's out there somewhere missing me."

Edward's face softened and reached out to rest a hand on my shoulder. "Ryan _does_ miss you – he wouldn't be so angry with me otherwise."

"Yeah," I sighed. "I think I know that little wolf better than you. He probably just misses me for a million and one selfish fucking reasons. I bet he wishes he wasn't such a goddamn tease for so many years and I'd even bet my left nut that he wishes he could have loved me the way I wanted. I bet he even thinks he's being kind for thinking this shit, but he's not, 'cause it's not me he's wishing that shit for; it's for him. He doesn't want to live with the guilt that I died fucking miserable because of him." I paused to take a deep breath and quell my surging emotions. The last thing I wanted to do was ruin any of the princess's things. "That's probably why he's such a petty dick to you. You 'killed' me, so _you_ made him feel all sorts of ugly things and now he's taking it out on you. But, you wanna hear something really fucking petty? I wish he thought Paul was nothing but a _mistake_." I hated saying these things, yet Ed has long since helped me learn that if I keep this crap lingering inside me it builds up until I can't hold back my powers and they just come crashing out of me. I could have never imagined the day were Edward Black himself would be the only one I could tell my ugliest thoughts to. Go figure, it _would_ be my luck that I almost offed the only person I held in higher regards than Ryan. Sure, I didn't at the time, but it still hurts to think that I nearly killed the closest thing I've ever had to a father and I utterly fucking hate myself for making such a loving man suffer... even if he can be a meddling prick.

"That's pretty harsh, James." Edward commented. "You need to let go of your feelings." I nodded, don't I fucking know it.

"Yeah, well, imagine knowing you're going to be the best man at Jacob's wedding while he married Natalie or some shit. That shit hurts, Ed. If I could turn this all off I would. I've tried. I'll get on a good streak too, but the feelings never completely go away; they just get easier to ignore. Now, with all this starting a life and wedding stuff, I can't help wishing that it was me he was doing all this stuff with."

The king sighed and he gave my shoulder a rough squeeze. "There's a flaw in your analogy, son. Jacob loves me. Ryan has _never_ loved you and I doubt that even if Paul never existed he ever would have. It'd never happen, James. Ryan wouldn't have loved you in any world or under any special circumstance. You were a fool to think it was ever possible. I'm not trying to be mean; this is just the shitty reality of the situation." His hand lowered and he poked the side of my chest. "You're holding onto a dream, but life sucks, life isn't fair, and not all dreams come true. It's time to let go and find a new one, a better one, and move the fuck on."

"Is everything alright here?" Edward dropped his hand and I looked past him to see concern etched on Rachel's pretty features. The princess not being one for subtleties shoved her way between her dad and I only to knock the clothes out of my hands and wrap me up in a tight embrace. The temptation was to great and I found my arms quickly surrounding her and my nose dipping into her hair for comfort. "Who's rescuing who now?" She whispered in query.

I glanced to Ed for a mere second or two. "From the horrible fire breathing dragon?" I playfully asked, and a little smile rose on my lips when I saw the king scoff out of the corner of my eye.

"Mhmm..." He hummed.

"So, with my pretty blonde hair, does that make me Rapunzel?"

She tittered against my clavicle. "You know what I think about Ryan not loving you?" She questioned.

"Not a clue." I told her.

"That fate saved you from making the worst mistake of your life." She said quite matter-of-factly. "My brother is a good boy, but not nearly good enough for you."

Edward shot me a funny smirk. "I'll be waiting in Rachel's sitting room. Get a move on, James." With his instruction I pulled away from the princess as he made his way to the other room.

"My dad loves you, you know." She seemingly informed me as she picked up my clothes from the floor and passed them over. "It's kinda obvious. He didn't even remotely threaten you for kissing me."

I smiled at the beautiful she-devil disguised as a princess. "You were listening to our conversation, huh?"

She nodded with a mischievous sparkle in her eyes. "Are you really going to keep the boys away from me?"

"Yep, sorry." I apologized, although I didn't altogether mean it. "I'm getting paid too much not to."

The princess grinned such a spectacular smile as she flicked her hair behind her shoulder and turned her back to me. "That's fine. I'm a married woman anyhow." She chimed as she strode away.

_Any-fucking-way_, that's a hell of a roundabout way of saying the bitch's hair that I styled looked good blowing in the breeze I'd created. With a wall of rocky mountain to my right and a cliffs edge my left the princess rested her weight on one foot with a hand on her hip. She looked utterly furious; she was so damn sexy when she was furious. In a way she reminded me of a praying mantis – I was just some small man entranced by her beauty, yet once she's gotten her fill of me she'd rip off my head. I bet I wouldn't even struggle.

"I'm not seven!" Rachel angrily yelled at her dad. "Not on the outside and not in here." She growled as she tapped the side of her head.

I eyed the princess from her head to her toes, yet found my eyes roaming back up to her chest. She was donning a pink fitted v-neck t-shirt that showcased her generously sized tits quite nicely. "Definitely not on the outside..." I mumbled, though mainly to myself, but god she made me feel like such a pig.

An amused smirk playing on her full lips had my eyes rising even further. I thought the woman looked gorgeous in her room, but words could not describe how beautiful she looked in the sunlight that was peeking through the clouds of an overcast sky. Her creamy smooth skin shimmered in the faint rays of the sun, whereas her dad and I sparkled like super fags. When I looked at her, and this is going to sound corny, I felt like I was seeing the epitome of perfect femininity – she was a fucking goddess in my eyes. It was screwing with my head because before last night I'd hardly noticed her... I saw her, but I didn't _see_ her... I wasn't really looking. Yet, now that I have looked, I can't seem to stop and I'm not entirely sure if I even wanted to.

_Awesome_, I'll just add the princess to my list of unhealthy obsessions.

"What are you looking at?" She queried.

"You."

Her cheeks tinted pink with a blush. "Well, I know that. I meant what part of me."

"Your lips." I felt a little awkward saying that right in front of Eddie, but I figured to hell with it. The leech was stupid and oblivious if he thought a man like me wouldn't fall prey to Rachel's temptation. Unless... _unless_, I was exactly the kind of man he wanted his daughter to entice.

I turned my head and gazed over my shoulder to meet Ed's eyes. He smiled at me as he took a small step back. "At your guys' pace I'm never going to get a drink." He pulled the sleeve back on his sweater to peer at his watch. "How about we meet at the bottom of the mountain where the trail begins in say... an hour... an hour and a half?"

"Two hours." Rachel put in.

Ed nodded. "Two hours and not a minute longer." He agreed as he started back down the trail.

"Wait!" I hollered after him. "Are you actually leaving me alone with her out here?"

"Yup." He called back.

"What if aliens attack or this volcano blows?!" I shouted in reply.

"This is no volcano!" I heard him laugh as he rounded a bend.

I turned around to face the way Eddie was headed. "It certainly could be if an overbearing parent was paranoid enough!" I teased. "What if I go nuts and shove the princess of this here cliff myself?!"

"Eyes on the prize, son!" He hollered, although his voice was faint. He was clearly running the rest of the way down the trail.

I turned my body back toward the princess... or prize... and what a prize she is. She smiled faintly and if my heart could beat it would have skipped a dozen or two. "What are you thinking, Jay-Jay?" She asked.

"How beautiful you are." Now if only the same thing could be said about her colourful personality then she'd make a clingy lovesick bastard out of me.

"I was thinking the same thing." She softy commented.

I quirked a brow. "About yourself?" How vain.

"No, silly," She said with a little laugh and an adorable unintended snort. "About _you_."


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter Sixty-one  
**

_Point of View: Ryan**  
**_

After my talk with Paul I was desperate for change. I was okay with one day becoming a homemaker. I understood that my wolf _needed_ to work and I didn't see the point in having puppies if we were going to hire a babysitter and pay someone else to raise them when we truly didn't need to go that route. There was no true need for me to work so it just made good logical sense that I'd take care of the home. I hadn't a clue if my wolf was trying to throw me into some kind stereotypical feminine role. If that were the case I'd probably be offended, yet I think it had more to do with him wanting a traditional household where someone worked and someone took care of the pups, and in theory, it did sound nice. But, I wasn't stupid, not completely; puppies are little devils... they're cute for a reason. They're a lot of responsibility. Far more than I've ever had. Hell, I'm just beginning to get the hang of taking care of myself, and besides my cat, I did _not _want to be responsible for another life. Houseplants were okay; puppies, not so much.

I caught Cielo's green eyes. He was lazing at the end of the bed where the sun was shining on it through the windows. The longer I held his gaze the louder he purred. He was a happy kitty... and a fat kitty; the pack really needed to stop giving him treats. "So, what do you think?" I asked him while I dropped my eyes to the bedding where I had all my debit and credit cards laid out along with a pair of scissors that had an orange handle. "Should I do it?" Predictably he said nothing in reply, though he did turn his head slightly so the sunlight was directly in his eyes. He squinted and looked rather unamused by my predicament.

With a sigh I grabbed the scissors in one hand and a card in the other. I wanted independence. I needed independence. I was going to get married. I didn't want to still be reliant on my parents for money. My dad kept telling me that it was also my money, that I'm a prince, the future king, so therefore I'm entitled to it. I didn't feel like I was; I'd done nothing to earn it. I just felt like I was wasting everybody's tax dollars. I felt a lot of guilt over this house, but I so badly wanted to do something special for Paul and our future. I've always been pretty modest and never asked my parents for much of anything. I just, I don't know, had the sudden urge to splurge. I wanted the perfect family home for Paul, not a decent one. I just wanted to give him the best and right now, as I am, I'm hardly the best. I wanted my wolf to marry a man, not a puppy. I needed to get my shit together.

I sucked in a deep breath, swallowed apprehensively, and snipped the card in half. A wave of relief hit me; that wasn't bad at all. I snatched up another, cut it just like the other, and continued on with the rest. When I was finished I tossed the scissors aside and grinned at the mess I made. "Well, Cielo, we're officially broke! No more catnip for you!" I giddily exclaimed as I hopped off my bed and grabbed a folder from the ottoman in front of the couch.

I headed for the open door, though on my way out I found myself startled when I collided with a huge bare torso that caused my folder to go flying and the papers inside it going every which way. "Eric!" I gasped. "I didn't know you were here!"

The alpha gave me that goofy grin he does when he's happy. "My bad. I just ran over from home. Riley is driving over with Emily and Katie – we're going for a swim. Wanna join?" That would explain the white swim trunks and blue towel slung over his honey coloured shoulder. He was looking good, really good, and you'd never know by his appearance that his imprint passed away. Also, he'd lost the dark circles from under his eyes from sleepless nights that plagued him when James died. He was the epitome of a healthy alpha... big and packed full of muscle – I was damn jealous.

"And watch you suck face with Em and Riley all day? No thanks." I teased while crouching to pick up my papers around the doorway.

"Hey!" Eric playfully barked in reply as he bent to help me clean. "Katie will be here. There will only be a moderate amount of sucking face."

I shook my head with a bit of chuckle. "I've got to swing over to the house Paul is working on to take him to his appointment. Then I've got a few things to do."

"Oh yeah?" He questioned with interest and held up one of my sheets of paper. "Got anything to do with these resumes?"

I'm certain my cheeks tinted red despite trying to force them not to. "Maybe." I grumbled as I snatched the paper from him and tucked it away in my folder.

The wolf stood and I followed suit, yet he looked confused. "Why do you wanna work? You're a prince... that shit's not right."

"I've never really cared for being a prince." I confessed.

Eric dragged me over to the couch, tossed his towel on the ottoman, and sat me down on with him beside me. "I know we don't talk about serious things much, but if you want to talk and stuff I'm a good listener. I can't give advice worth a damn – I'm nothing like Jamie in that respect. I've noticed that about you, though... the prince thing. You remind me of a little boy lost in a big man's world." I frowned at this; it was hardly a compliment and exactly what an alpha like me didn't want to hear. "Awe, Ryan, don't look so gloomy." He said as he tugged me close and wrapped a large arm around my shoulder which completely dwarfed me. "I'm a little lost boy too."

I turned my head and gazed up at him. "Seriously?"

He nodded his head. "Mhmm. No one's more lost than me, man. I work a shitty job that I hate to pay for a shitty place that I hate just as much. I have not a damn clue how to be a father. Jamie was so easy, he always just did what he was told, but Katie is the opposite. She's fussy and I find myself frustrated a lot." He gave me a funny look and my shoulder a nudge with his hand. "Don't even get me started on my sexuality."

I chuckled and met his eyes. "What _is_ going on with that?"

Eric shrugged and laughed. "Not a fucking clue!" He vehemently proclaimed. He was all smiles. "Katie adores Emily... I do too for that matter. She's a great mother figure. I know she's only your age and kids should be the last thing on her mind," Amen to that! Now, if he could kindly pass that message along to Paul... "But she's great with Katie and I know she loves her just like a mom would. I'll never let Katie forget Lauren, but that's her momma in heaven and Emily is her momma on earth."

As sweet as that sounded I also thought it seemed dangerous. "Katie is going to be so hurt if something were to happen between you and Emily. She'd lose a mother for a second time."

He shook his head and just by the expression on his handsome face I could see he was going to disagree with me. "I'm pretty sure that's impossible." He stated, and with his free hand he tapped the part of my chest where my heart beat beneath. "You know how you can feel your inner wolf deep in there, kinda like he's your soul?" I nodded in agreement. "Does he feel like a happy puppy when Paul is laughing or like he's baring the weight of the world on his back when Paul is upset?" Once again I nodded; that's exactly how it felt. He smiled and nodded too. "That's what my wolf is like with Emily. She's our girl."

My eyebrows pinched together. "So, where does my uncle Riley fit into all of this." I questioned.

"He's our boy."

"That..." I started, though paused while I tried to figure it all out. "That does _not_ make any sense."

"You're tellin' me..." Eric mumbled. He removed his arm from me and moved a foot or so away from me to gain better eye contact. "But I love them, and equally. I- I don't really understand it. My feelings for Riley evolved. Before Emily they were never sexual and I swear to fucking god I've never been into another dude. Eleazar and Randall always give me such shit for this; they tell me to 'come out' and admit that I like cock too." A pained looked crossed his features. "If I did, I would. I know I'd have nothing to be ashamed of. I wouldn't be embarrassed either – the pack has seen me kiss Riley just as much as I have Emily. Riley is just special and I've known that since the very first day I met him. I was just entirely unaware how special."

I quirked a brow and couldn't help the pervy smirk that formed on my face. "So, do you have sex with Riley as well?"

The alpha's cheeks dusted a bright crimson and his eyes fell away from mine. "Yeah, Paul talked me into it."

My brows rose. "Paul?" I asked in surprise.

"Yep." He answered, popping the 'p'. "I was pretty apprehensive about the whole Riley thing. I'd been wanting to sleep with him, but, like, I didn't have a goddamn clue what to do or how to initiate it. Fuck, I wasn't even completely sure if Riley wanted me that way. We'd touch and kiss when we'd make love to Emily," I did _not _want to know how that worked. "Though sex between the two of us was a whole other ball game. Paul insisted I talk to Emily about it and she assured me Riley would want me that way. I didn't know if I could go through with it, especially after Paul explained to me that I couldn't just go for it, and there had to be some _preparation_. Everything with Emily comes so naturally, but with Riley it was..." He paused for a moment to think about what to say next. "Unnatural is _not_ the right word. It's hard to explain. With Emily, when we have sex, we're mating... or, well, I am. In the moment, cumming in her is one of the only things on my mind. I _need_ to give her part of me and I know that's just my wolf talking. He wants to breed." My eyes widened in shock and my jaw dropped. "She's on birth control." He quickly added.

"Oh, thank goodness." I sighed in relief.

"Yeah... Anyway, with Riley it's all different. I don't have that urge to mate, so I don't have nature leading the way. With him it's only about pleasure and I didn't have a clue how to give him that." The alpha suddenly grinned. "Your Paulie came to the rescue; who could have ever foresaw he'd be the guru of gay sex?" He happily mused. My brows raised and I couldn't help but laugh – my wolf sure has come a long way. "I felt like such a dummy, though." His brows furrowed a bit. "Have you ever heard of a prostate?"

"Uh... Yeah." I said with a blush.

"See, what the fuck? I'd never heard of it before Paul mentioned it. I'd have asked for a manual if I could properly read that shit."

"Hey," I interjected. "I've seen your notebooks over at Nahuel's. You're doing great. Spell Mississippi."

His face fell completely expressionless. "Seriously?" He deadpanned. "Can you at least give me a word I'd have a chance at getting right?"

"Challenge yourself. I know you can do it." I insisted with a small smile.

Eric shook his head. "I don't know how to spell it."

"Then guess!"

He sighed with a frown. "M-I-S-S-" I nodded for him to continue on. He was doing great. "I-S-I-P-E-E."

My shoulders slumped a tad. "Hmm," I hummed. "So, there's room for improvement, but if I saw that written I'd know what the intended meaning was."

With an irritated growl the alpha got to his feet and angrily glared down at me. "I hate that fucking spelling shit! You know that! Why do you gotta go and make me look like such a retard?"

"Whoa!" I exclaimed as I stood, leaving the folder behind on the couch. "Don't use that word."

"Why?! Everybody thinks it! I hear Ed and Jamie cracking jokes all the time – my own little brother thinks I've got the brains of a dump truck!"

I took a step back and gazed at him in confusion. "Excuse me?" I questioned.

His expression turned pensive. "I meant Paul."

"He's older than you."

He nodded. "I meant that too."

"Umm..." I didn't know what to think. That was a weird mistake.

"I think that proves my fucking point." Eric huffed as he flopped back on the couch. "So," He said, changing the subject. "Having sex with Riley was one of the most awkward things I've ever done in my life. I kept accidentally reaching for tits that weren't there and I didn't have any long hair to lose my fingers in, plus his dick and balls kept touching me."

I slid my folder over and sat beside the wolf. "You didn't end up liking it?"

"Quite the opposite. Riley, he..." He met my eyes and a seriousness fell over him. "Promise not to get mad?" I nodded and crossed my heart with my index finger. "Once we got the hang of things Riley bit me; it was everything I fucking remember. It was better than perfect. It was such a high." I clamped my jaw shut to stop the lecture I wanted to preach. "He's only fed from me the once since he stopped. We've been good. It's hard. Sometimes when I look at him it's all I want and if his eyes catch mine I can see that he wants it too. Emily takes care of us though; it's like she feels when we're struggling or something. She always brings us back to reality. She grounds us and keeps what could be a very toxic relationship healthy. There would be no Eric and Riley if we didn't have Emily too."

"Why does Riley even have to be a part of it? Wouldn't it be better if he wasn't?" I queried with interest.

He shook his head in disagreement. "No way would it be better. Emily loves him, and so do I." He answered rather matter-of-factly.

"Well," I sighed. "What's to stop them from leaving you?"

The alpha looked to his lap where his hands were clasped. "I worry about that sometimes." He confessed, and forced his eyes back to mine. "I do know they love me. I don't doubt that. I just know that it's very likely someone better might come along that they could love more than me... so they'd leave." Jesus, that reminded me so much of James. Eric didn't necessarily crave love like his brother did, but he was just as scared of losing it once he had it. His mother left him for a better life and his imprint left him for a better man – I guess that kind of stuff sticks with you.

"Ryan?" He said, catching my full attention. "Can I ask you something?"

I nodded. "Of course. Anything."

He scooted close to me so we were thigh to thigh and he took my hand in his. He rested our hands on his slap and stared across the room out the window. "James loved you so much. I never really understood how or why it came about and I honestly never cared to think much about it. I just... I gotta ask," He turned his head my why and I immediately felt uncomfortable under his scrutinizing gaze. "Why didn't you love him? He was a good looking human, he had a heart just as sweet as Paul's, and he'd have been just as loyal too. He was everything you wanted in a guy."

I pulled my hand away from Eric's to circle my arms around my waist. "But he wasn't my wolf..." I murmured under my breath.

Eric leaned forward with his forearms resting on his legs to hold him up. "If he was here would you actually ask him to be your best man?" He asked.

"Yes, I can't imagine it being anybody else."

The alpha inhaled a deep breath. "Thought so. He'd do it too, though not because he wants to, but because he loves you and that's what you want." He looked over his shoulder at me. "It's just as well he's dead, you know. Watching you get married to another man, standing there beside you with a smile on his face, it'd kill him. I was the best man at Lauren's wedding; it was the worst day of my fucking life. I felt like I was cutting a piece outta my heart and giving it away for free. Sometimes I wish I put up more of fight, tried harder to win her over, because if I had maybe she'd still be alive. I got Katie now though, and it's weird, and maybe even a little sick, but a part of me wouldn't do anything differently; I wouldn't try to save Lauren because I've got my daughter. She might not be my blood, but she's still _mine_ and I can't imagine a world where she's not my responsibility." The wolf shook his head as he bitterly chuckled. "Lauren must be rolling in her grave..." He gave a little shrug and looked forward at nothing in particular. "I love Emily and Riley with all my might, but Katie is my reason to live, to wake up every day and do a ton of shit I dread. If I didn't have her to think about I'd have never been able to get healthy after Lauren died and if somehow I managed to get to the point where I lost James, I doubt I'd have lasted more than a day or two after. I wasted a lot of years loving Lauren, but at least I got a daughter out of it. I feel bad for my baby brother though. He loved you just as much, but he's never gonna get a thing from you. He fell in love with a black hole." A _black hole_?

"What?" I breathed.

Eric twisted to the side to look directly into my eyes. "You absorbed and trapped Jamie with no means of escape. I'm not saying it's your fault. A black hole is a black hole – it is what it is. You are what you are." He bluntly explained, and I felt the tears well in my eyes – I closed them and pressed the heels of my palms against them. I refused to let even a single tear drop in front of the alpha. I didn't want to admit it, but I could see where he was coming from. On more than one occasion I wondered what type of person I was, and on more than one occasion I didn't think I was a very good one.

I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. "Don't take it personally, Ryan."

"Kinda hard not to, _Eric_." I whined.

Warm arms encircled me and the soft smell of the alpha's cologne tickled my senses as a smoothly shaven cheek nuzzled mine. "You know I love you, right?" He murmured to me.

"You love a black hole too?" I whimpered in question. It was petty, but I felt petty.

"Mhmm." Eric hummed. He tightened his hold on me and practically dragged me with him as he moved to rest his back in the corner of the couch. I don't think he had a clue that the way he had me between his legs was verging on inappropriate – I didn't care much and pulled my legs to my body to wrap my arms around them. My left side was firmly pressed against my alpha wolf's torso and with a sullen sigh I tilted my head to lay it by his clavicle.

"I really do love my alpha." He quietly told me while nuzzling his nose into my hair. If he was anybody else I'd feel like this was too intimate, but he's not, he's Eric and I've known since before he joined my pack that he had no idea where physical boundaries lie. I mean, he knew not to snuggle up to a stranger, yet if he deemed you friend he was either clueless or careless when it came to personal space. Nahuel decked the alpha so hard he knocked out one of his molars. I was not happy to say the least.

"I'm jealous of him too." He added.

"Jealous of me?" I asked in disbelief.

"Very." He affirmed. "Look around you. Look at all you have. What makes you so deserving? What did James and I do so wrong to get the hand we were dealt and what did you do so right to get all this?"

"I..." I didn't know what to say. "I guess I don't deserve it."

Eric gazed down at me and smiled. "See, that's exactly why you _do _deserve it. You're not some pompous prince that thinks he's better than everybody else and feels he's entitled to his riches. I know you think of others lots. I doubt you've had a night alone in your own house, whether it be one of the pack spending the night or one of Randall's or Eleazar's wolves. You needlessly stressed yourself out over Christmas since you insisted on getting something for _all_ the wolves that are under you. Also, I know you could tell me everyone's full name, date of birth, where they're from, where they've been, and where they plan on going, along with who and what they love."

Unimpressed, I shrugged. "That's just common courtesy." I grumbled.

"What about renovating the hospital Paul was at when you saw what kind of state it was in?"

Again I shrugged. "That's just something a prince should do."

"Yeah, but the difference is you _wanted _to do it. You've got all the tools to be something great... money, heart, and power." He took a hand off me and pointed at my folder full of resumes. "Fuck that shit, Ryan. You're too good for some minimum wage job. You should be out making a difference in the kingdom, not mopping someone's floor. If you're scared, start small – I know you've been bullied and that stuff hurt you, so strive to stop it. Go around to schools and educate the kids. Set up foundations and charities that will help fund counselling for the bullies to sort out the issues behind their actions and for the bullied to get the help they need. Set up something for the underprivileged kids so they can get free school supplies and books; lunches too – you can't learn on an empty stomach. Daycare... we need affordable daycare; I can't even begin to stress this enough. If I didn't have Riley to watch Katie when I'm at work every day, I'd be hopeless. Daycare would eat up over half my paycheck. I wouldn't be able to afford my apartment – I know you, Ed, Emily nor Riley and the pack would see Katie and I on the streets, but there are too many people that don't have help and there are also plenty of high school kids that drop out because of babies. Childcare is a necessity; that, and better sexual education. Oh, while we're on the topic of sexual education, maybe some kinda gay awareness thing is needed. We have two kings – people shouldn't be throwing around the word fag so much. A lot of it is just ignorance. Homosexuality was pretty taboo before Jake and Ed came into power. Everybody is grateful for the changes they've made, but there are lots that can't quite wrap their minds around two men or women wanting to be together, let alone in love. Get yours and Paul's face out there; you're the future kings after all, show 'em your love for each other is just like any husband and wife. You want people to be excited about Paul and you getting the throne one day, not dreading it."

I leaned away from Eric to stare incredulously at his face. "What the..." I started but lost my voice halfway through. Who was this guy and where did my alpha wolf go?

He gave me an endearing little pout that didn't at all suit his masculine features. "Don't like my ideas?"

I slowly shook my head, still feeling shocked. "No, not at all." I answered honestly, and his little pout grew into a frown. "I fucking love them!" I excitedly exclaimed as I came to sit on my knees and face the wolf.

His face brightened immensely and he gave me a massive grin – he looked like such a proud puppy. "I got lots more where those came from."

"Do you think about this kind of stuff often?" I queried.

Eric shrugged. "Not as much as I used to. I wanted Riley to get into that sort of stuff, but he's the most unmotivated person I know. He's forever fifteen and he certainly acts like it sometimes. He jokes that if and when Emily and I start having puppies he'll raise them while her and I bring home the bacon." He chortled a bit and his brown eyes sparkled with happiness. "I don't think he's joking. That boy could play with Katie all day – he just likes to go off into little kid fantasy land."

I slightly cocked my head as I gazed at the wolf trying to gauge his reaction to his own words. Did he think it was weird for a guy to stay home and care for the young? "Don't you think it's a little emasculating for a man to be a stay at home parent?"

The alpha snorted with a funny laugh. "What century are you living in? If that's what makes Riley happy then that's what he should do. You know my stance on childcare; I keep telling him to make some sort of business doing what he likes because he's never really going to be interested in bettering the kingdom. I think he kinda likes the idea of having his own thing, like a career, but he's lazy. Although, he does watch Laurent's girl a few times a week now – he's enjoying that. I think you've got the motivation to do pretty amazing things; you just need the courage." I swallowed uncomfortably because he was right. I didn't have any courage. I was terrified of sticking my neck out there and getting shot down. I didn't want to make an embarrassment of myself and because of that I've always wanted to blend in with the crowd.

Eric hung his head and sighed in what sounded an awful lot like defeat. "Ryan, how do you think it feels when you tell people like me you don't want to be a prince? You take your status for granted when really you should take it like a bull by the horns and fuck some shit up..." He smiled despite his sudden melancholy attitude. "But, like, in a good way. That's what I'd do." He informed, his sincerity virtually palpable. "I feel resentful because you've got so much potential, but you're wasting it all trying to be something you're not."

I furrowed my brows. "What do you think I'm trying to be?"

"Normal." He quietly responded. "You'll never be normal. You're as different as they come, yet you try so hard to be something you'll never be. You've changed your hair, your clothes, even your attitude. I liked you better when you had longer hair, wore colourful clothes, and got all teary eyed when you'd see those commercials on TV asking for money for abused animals. You keep looking at everybody else for who you want to be. You need to stop that shit and just be you. If you want long hair, have long hair, and if you want to dye it pink, then dye it fucking pink and screw what others think. Wear what you feel comfortable in, not what you think we all want to see you in, and if you've got tears, spill 'em. Having feelings doesn't make you weak. Failing to embrace who you are and fighting to be someone you're not makes you weak. Wanna know why it was so easy for me to submit to you?" I nodded; I definitely did. "You're nothing like an alpha. I can feel your strength, but that's not what drew me to you. You have this softness to you... a tenderness that no other alpha has. When I look at you I don't see the boss of me – I see the guy who has unconditionally got my back, who loves me with no strings attached, and who will sacrifice his own happiness to give me my own.

"Hardly a week after I joined your pack Lauren died. I knew you didn't really like me at the time, but you took me in and into your own bed no less. You'd stay up all hours of the night wiping away the sweat from my forehead, emptying the bowls I vomited into, and bathing me when I'd get sick on myself. You'd shift and let me cry into your fur all afternoon. You'd fetch me breakfast in the mornings and dinner in the evenings knowing full well I'd throw most of it up adding to the mess you needed to clean. And, you know what, all through that you never once made me feel like a burden. You'd cuddle me and say I'm your special alpha wolf, you'd tell me that I'm loved and that I had to get through this, that Katie needed a father, and James need his brother. You _really_ helped me, Ryan.

"If I could give you _any_ advice, and I know I'm the guy that everybody takes what he says with a grain of salt, but if I could tell you to do something and you'd listen, I'd say that you should treat the kingdom, your people, like you treat your pack. Unconditionally fight for their best interest, love them without reservation, and do everything in your power to make them happy. You've got the tools, you've got the resources, so get the fuck out there and turn this good kingdom into a great kingdom." I was beginning to completely reevaluate my judge of character. Eric was a lot more than what met the eye and I was starting to believe it wasn't any wonder at all how James had such good morals and values – Eric had given him them. I think I was finally beginning to see the guy James had so much respect for and could so easily forgive. Along the line somewhere the wolf drifted off course just like James had. The only difference was that Eric was able to find his way back. In the end, my dad pushing him off that cliff was the best thing for him. It was tough love at its finest.

I felt a little unsettled at that thought. Was James merely repaying the favour by giving my dad a little tough love of his own? Eric would have died if I didn't go rescue him and if Paul didn't follow me out there. My dad would have died if my father didn't rescue him and if Paul wasn't there to take a beating. Yet, when it came to Eric my dad looked past what he did and offered him a place back in his home in Riley's best interest; he set aside his dislike for the wolf because he knew how much he meant to Riley, and he turned a blind eye to the complications that could arise from his hospitality. Was he at all capable of doing the same for the vampire that very nearly killed him?

"Earth to Ryan." Eric said as he gave my shoulder a push. "Are you even paying attention to me?"

I brought my eyes back to his seeing as they fell away when I lost myself in thought. "I was listening," I assured him. "And you're right." He really was. "I wish I could be like that."

He fervently shook his head. "No, don't wish._ Do_."

"I don't know... I could try..."

Again he shook his head. "No, trying isn't doing."

"But I don't know how to do it by myself!" I vehemently complained. He said start small, but I wouldn't even know where to start, or how to for that matter. It felt extraordinarily overwhelming. I wanted this. I was searching for change. I wanted to make something of myself; I just never really thought I had it in me to be any sort public figure. I never thought anybody could take me seriously.

"Well..." He mumbled as he seemed to be thinking deeply. "_I_ could help. Like I said I have all sorts of ideas and I don't mind organizing things or contacting the right people. I lived at the palace for a number of years; I've met countless people and know just as many good names. Most of them are eager to get on your parents' good side – they'll practically beg you to help fund stuff." The wolf gave me a goofy grin. "I'll do great, promise. I'll make my alpha proud."

With that funny expression on his face I couldn't help but smile back. "I'm already plenty proud of you. I just... I can't believe you're interested in this kind of stuff."

The wolf shrugged. "I like to think I'm a little more well-versed than people give me credit for. I know Emily and Riley think I am – I doubt they'd be with me otherwise... well, Riley maybe." Riley definitely. "It kinda hurt that James thought I was so stupid."

My features softened and I let out a small sigh. "I don't think he thought you were stupid, just that you did stupid things."

He shrugged once again, though this time his eyes fell away from mine. "Maybe." He mumbled.

"He loved you, though."

Eric's eyes flicked back to mine and a slight smile played on his lips. "Oh, I know that."

"We should do something for James." I blurted out right as I thought it. The alpha wolf cocked his head, clearly questioning what I meant by my words. "I want to do what I should have been doing for years... bettering communities around the kingdom. Our first project can be something in James' name – something good that he can be remembered for."

A wonderfully happy grin spread across his face. "Like what?"

"I have no idea." I said as I glanced at the clock that was sitting on the far side of the bed on the nightstand. "I'm late picking up Paul. Do you and Katie want to spend the night? We can talk about it over dinner and figure out all the stuff we'll have to get organized."

"Yeah, sure!" Eric excitedly answered while getting to his feet. He motioned toward my chopped up cards on the bed Cielo was snoozing by. "Replace those. You're gonna need 'em. We'll be spending money, not making it!" I had to say, I didn't have any feelings of guilt when it came to spending that money on the kingdom. Though, the fact that I wouldn't be making money meant I couldn't pay my share of the bills. Then again, Paul and I got into a huge argument about the bills not long after we moved in – Paul wanted to be the one to pay them strictly for the reason that he didn't want to use my parents' money. Eventually he relented... mainly because I ordered him to. I didn't like the idea of being a financial burden. However, I think it'd make him feel more of a man if I let him pay the bills for us.

Eric grabbed his towel off the ottoman and threw it over his shoulder. "Hey, Ryan?" He said catching my gaze.

"Yeah?" I queried as I stood.

"You know what I said about the wedding stuff?"

I nodded. "Yes."

"Don't forget about it, alright?"

"I won't." I promised, not that I really understood the point of it. James was long gone... or at least I'm pretty sure he is.


	62. Chapter 62

**I ended up procrastinating when it came to responding to reviews and didn't get it done. Sorry, I'm a lazy author; don't hate me!**

* * *

**Chapter Sixty-two  
**

_Point of View: Ryan**  
**_

Paul had dragged me down to the kitchen for breakfast far too early in the morning – I was not only groggy, but intensely grumpy too. My wolf sat me on the leather cushioned bar stool at the end of our kitchen island while he comfortably perched beside me to my left. The sunlight was practically blinding me as it shone through the windows that lined the wall ahead of me above the long row of counters that held the sink and dishwasher. The stainless steel fridge was at the far left side of it with its own rectangular window above it. Despite how gloomy I felt, the room did not – it was light and bright and the high slanted wooden ceilings added an air of warm coziness to it.

The room was too cheery for my tetchy mood, however it'd be impossible to complain about the way my wolf was nibbling at my neck while whispering sweet little nothings to me. A lascivious smile crept onto my face as he began to palm my crotch from over my plain navy blue pyjama pants and his lips tickled their way to my earlobe. He nipped at the sensitive flesh and the heat of his breath gave me goosebumps. I turned my head in search of a kiss; I was not disappointed. His lips caught mine and I felt both of his large hands cup my cheeks.

"I love you, angel." Paul murmured against my mouth.

His words caused me to happily hum while I gave his scruffy cheek a nuzzle. "I love you more."

He grinned at me as he pulled away from me and slid over a cotton napkin and a silver fork. "You win this time, but only because I'm too hungry to argue." He said as he leaned forward to dish me up a bowl of fruit salad.

I scratched my itchy cheek which his stubble had irritated while I eyed the feast of a breakfast he made for us. "Can you shave in the next few days?"

Paul nodded as he pushed the salad in front of me and handed over a fork. "Sure, too prickly for you?" He queried while he stacked a plate full of sausages, eggs, bacon, hash browns, and a second with blueberry pancakes.

"A little." I answered and took a bite of watermelon – it was the perfect flavour on a sunny summer's morning. I looked over at my wolf and smiled at him. "Thanks for breakfast."

He smiled too, yet with a mouthful of syrupy pancakes and gave my lips a quick peck. "You know I love spoiling you." He stated with utter fondness in his tone. I took another bit of my fruit salad, though this time with a silly grin on my face.

Paul set down his knife and ran his thumb along my jawline. "How often do you shave? Now that I think about it, I've never seen you do it."

I turned my head away from him with a blush heating my cheeks, and my wolf went back to his cutting his pancakes into perfect little squares. "I never have before." I mumbled to him. I wasn't sure if I should feel ashamed or not. I felt a bit inadequate as a man either way.

My wolf chortled and gazed my way. "Just as well, you'd look ridiculous with facial hair. It'd be like Emily having a beard." He said with an amused laugh.

I nibbled on some pineapple and nodded uncomfortably. "Are you saying I look like a girl?"

With a huff of breath Paul dropped his fork and knife to his plate with a clang that rang loudly in my ears. "Don't start a pity party, Ryan – I'm not interested."

Rather embarrassed, I hung my head and ate a few blueberries. "I didn't mean for it to sound that way. I'm genuinely curious if you think I do." I truthfully insisted.

He sighed unhappily, though I held firm to his soulful brown eyes with my own. "What you want to hear and what my answer is, won't match."

I shrugged, yet smiled softly at my wolf. "Eric says I have the most feminine and kissable looking lips. Is that true?" I questioned with interest.

My wolf lowly growled. "Eric shouldn't be saying those things to you." He snapped, and I chuckled at his reaction.

"You know very well that's just Eric being friendly." I assured. "Jealous?"

Paul nodded as he grabbed piece of bacon off his plate. "Yeah." He breathed, and turned his eyes away and gazed straight forward out the window to the front yard lush with trees and flowers. He munched on his bacon until there was none left in his hand and flicked his eyes back to mine. "He shouldn't be looking _or_ talking to you that way. You're taken. You're mine." He scooted his stool over so we were thigh to thigh and he fingered the ring that hung over my white t-shirt. "People should see this and turn their heads the other way." As my wolf paused and sighed he dropped his hand over top of mine that was laying on the granite surface of the island. "You're far too beautiful for _my_ own good. I can't stand it when other men look at you, especially other wolves. If I wasn't so certain it'd upset you, I'd kill them all."

I snorted in amusement and turned over my hand so I could lace my fingers with his. "You're so full of it – you wouldn't hurt a fly."

My wolf squeezed my hand and his gaze turned serious. "I'm not lying. The animal inside me wants to. If we lived a thousand or so years in the past when we were more often wolf instead of man along with being forest dwellers, I'm positive I would. Other men, gay or straight, feel like competition and I want to eliminate the threat." He gave me a funny, yet charming smile. "Couldn't have my fiance running off with another wolf, now could I?"

I rolled my eyes, though didn't hesitate to kiss his scruffy cheek. "When are you going to admit we're mates? You wouldn't feel like that otherwise."

With a sigh he pulled his hand away from mine. "Ryan, we're both males, and two males-"

"Can't be mates." I interrupted to finish his sentence for him. "Yeah yeah, says the dude who imprinted on me." I teased with a smile.

Paul smiled at me in return. "I love you like I'd love a mate." He leaned into me and nudged my shoulder. "Want to be let in on a secret?" My smile widened into a grin and I nodded my head in excitement which caused Paul to happily chortle and give my temple a kiss. "My wolf is stupid; he thinks you're _literally_ his mate." He informed me.

I furrowed my brows as I chewed and swallowed a mouthful of fruit. "Literal... as in he thinks he can have puppies with me?"

He nodded. "Yeah," He said with a laugh. "So the first few weeks we were living together the sex was so intense for me – not because it was all so new, but because it felt like we were mating. My wolf got over it though, but now he's expecting a pup." He shot me a grin. "He's going to be so sad in a few months time when there's nothing to show for all our hard work."

My eyes widened and I shook my head. "You're right... he is stupid." I told him just as there was a nervous flutter and a sharp cramp in my belly... or at least it felt like nerves. As I winced I grabbed Paul's hand and placed it on my abdomen underneath my shirt. The second I felt his touch the pain subsided and I sighed in relief.

"Cramps?" He queried.

I rested my head on my wolf's shoulder. "Yes." I breathed.

Paul wrapped an arm around me to hold me up while his thumb brushed soothingly along the skin beneath my navel. "Remind me what Dr. Cullen said, please."

I lazily shrugged. "Not much. When I called him I told him about the cramps, the hot flashes, and the occasional bouts of nausea. He just thinks it's stress getting to me. I tried to tell him I have nothing to be stressed over, but he said being next in line for the throne and an upcoming wedding was plenty to get myself worked up over." We met each others eyes, held them for a few moments, and the two of us laughed. "Tell that mangy mutt inside you that I'm _not_ pregnant." The wolf I had in me was odd. He was mostly silent and I only really felt him when Paul was hurting in some way or if I was phased. Although, on occasion he'd perk up when my wolves came around, yet more often than not it was like he wasn't even here at all.

"Let him believe what he wants; I've never felt him this excited or happy – it's practically euphoric." Paul explained as he dipped his nose into my hair and his arm tightened around me. "Anyway, if you ask me, you're not thinking about our wedding enough. You're the one who asked me to marry you, yet you won't even sit down with me to talk about setting a date." He placed a tender kiss on my head and nuzzled his cheek against my hair. "Angel, I'm _so_ damn greedy. I'm dying to be able to call my imprint my husband. I want it so badly, and it'd also make me feel like it was completely justifiable to hit anybody that I thought was looking at you inappropriately."

I chuckled and turned my head to look at my wolf's face. "Jealousy is not an attractive quality." I teased.

He gave me a cheeky smirk. "What, so are you saying wouldn't fight for me?"

I quirked a brow and gazed at him like that was the craziest question he could ask me. "I'd kill for you." I firmly and seriously stated. I think I already proved that.

My wolf lifted me to his lap as if I were as light as a feather and adjusted me so I had a leg on either side of him and we were facing one another. "Say I cheated on you and dumped you." I furrowed my brows while I cocked my head curiously, though in response he just circled his arms around my body to keep me close. Where was Paul going with this? "Do you love me in a way that you'd go nutty, burn our home to a crisp, and set someone you hate on fire just because you can't control your anger and it'd give you some sort of sick satisfaction?"

I swallowed uncomfortably. "Paul..." I breathed and shook my head. "Stop."

He inhaled a deep breath and sighed. "I've been thinking a lot about Jamie lately... is that really what love makes you do? If you cheated on me-"

"I'd never." I growled in interruption.

"I know." He said with a nod. "But, _if_ you did I can't imagine taking my anger out on anybody but the guy who laid his hands on you, yet Charlie's car ended up through the fucking roof of my house... then Edward got burnt. I could never do something like that."

I rested my hands on his chest that was covered by a charcoal grey muscle shirt. "James was a newborn. He didn't know any better."

"Yeah, a newborn, _not_ an idiot. He knew better. He could have stopped at any time, but he chose to listen to your dad scream." I ducked my head and fought with my mind – I didn't want to imagine the sound of my dad in pain. "I can't stop thinking about the way Ed looked through the window of my truck – it's a haunting image. I've seen a lot of men die, and mainly by my hand, yet to see someone I loved going through that sort of agony... I feel like I failed him in so many ways. I couldn't stop Jamie and I was too scared to hurt him to make him. I was overwhelmed – on one paw I had the newborn I thought of as a brother and who'd risk life and limb for me, then on the other I had the vampire that I considered my best friend and my future fucking father-in-law. I was at a loss for what to do."

"Nobody in that position would know what to do." I tried to assure him and I moved my hands up to his shoulders to gently message them. "My dad knows you tried and that you love him. That's and what matters, and besides, he's fine now."

Paul shook his head and gave me an unimpressed glare. "He's not fine. Every time I see the scars on his hands and neck I'm reminded just how fine he's _not_..." He paused for moment and tucked his hands under the hem of my shirt to run his fingertips over the skin of my back while I kept mine working out the knots in his tight muscles. "How he's not a bitter son of a bitch I'll never fucking know." He grumbled, though I believed mainly to himself. "And, Ryan, how could he possibly know I love him? One of the rare times he actually _needed_ me I wasn't there because I was too busy crying over the guy who nearly killed him. For the longest time I was angry at your dad for Jamie's execution and sometimes I even thought the newborn's actions were warranted. I made so many excuses for that fucking leech and I let his anger toward Ed persuade my own... yet the second I found the balls to go crawling back to my friend I realized how wrong I was about everything. You'd be amazed by all the things your dad would do for you."

I nodded in agreement; I probably would be, but that didn't change the fact that James was dead and I had a real nasty grudge to get over. "I don't know what you want me to say."

Paul ran his hands along my sides as he gave a little shrug. "I don't know..." He sighed. "Maybe it's time you admit you're a bit of a bitch and should apologize to your dad. I mean, fuck, even Eric has forgiven him."

"Yeah, and what's with that?!" I snapped while I accidentally squeezed his muscles too tightly, causing my wolf to flinch and hit my hands away.

"Just get over it." He grumbled.

I furrowed my brows. "Get over James?"

"Yes. I don't see what's so difficult about that anyway. It's not like you loved him, or even wanted him."

I felt hurt churn inside me and I slid off my wolf's lap. "How can you sit there and fucking say that?" I breathed in question. "I loved James, I wanted him, just not in the way he did me. He was my _best_ friend."

He quirked an eyebrow as if he were sceptical, stood from his seat and started gathering the plates despite us hardly eating a thing. "If you loved him, why did you fuck him around so much?"

My jaw dropped. "Nice, so you think I played with him, huh?" He nodded his head yes to my question. "He knew I was in love with you!" I shouted at Paul, and it only angered me when he turned his back to me so he could scrape the perfectly good food into the garbage under the sink. "He knew I wanted you!"

My wolf scoffed as he roughly threw the plates into the sink which caused them to loudly shatter. "Yeah, because there's nothing like saying 'I don't want you, but let's jerk off together' to really drive the point home."

"I was eleven when him and I first kissed!" I hollered in a rage, though Paul calmly strolled over, took my bowl of fruit and the rest of the dishes off the island to throw out not only the food, but the dishes as well. His patience was clearly fading, but mine was all gone. "Do you really think I wondered that if I started kissing him it'd lead to a long series of events that would see him _dead _in a few years time?"

"_Sweetheart_," I couldn't stand how condescending Paul sounded, and for lack of better things to do I scowled at the wolf. "I don't believe you were thinking at all."

"You're right. I wasn't thinking." I hissed. "Because I was a fucking puppy! I didn't know better! I didn't know actions like that could have such dire fucking consequences and I certainly didn't fucking know James' feelings for me were as strong as they were until _you_ returned!... Also," I huffed. "If you feel like pointing fingers for his demise, none of this would have happened if you just told my dad to go screw himself when he asked you to leave – yeah, sure, he's king, but my father was your _alpha_; he was the only one that could order you to do something."

Paul strode across the dark hardwood floor so he was standing on the opposite side of the island. "I left for _you_!" He angrily exclaimed. "And if you're too much of a stuck-up and spoiled little brat to see that, then that's _your_ problem, not mine! I did what was best for you – sorry I couldn't hold your fucking hand all through your goddamn life, Ryan."

I was taken aback by his remark and I was positive my expression had to match the outrage I felt. "Excuse me?!" I spat in reply. "Who has dedicated his life to who this past three years?"

Looking absolutely pissed, Paul crossed his arms. "Tell me something; did you help me so much because you genuinely wanted me to get better or did you just want me to be all yours?" I took a step back to better stare at my wolf in complete and utter disbelief. My eyes suddenly felt hot and I felt the sting of tears brewing – I cursed my exaggerated emotions, though unlike what I'd usually do, I didn't attempt to hold them back... instead I let them pour, which evidently only aggravated Paul. "Oh, for God's sake, man up, Ryan!" He barked at me. "Don't fucking cry!"

I shook my head, I didn't want to man up – mainly because I wasn't any good at it. I wanted so desperately to be this big tough alpha that everybody was intimidated by, but that just wasn't me and it never would. I'd been spending a lot of time with Eric lately and surprisingly enough he's really helped me come to terms with the fact that I couldn't possibly be the wolf I dreamt of being since I was just a little pup. Before Paul ever left I always imagined myself growing into this huge man just like my father. I pictured me being this stern alpha that everybody respected and revered. I imagined protecting Paul from all the things that made him sad, and in turn, made me hurt inside too. I also had this notion that one day I'd be wrapping my big strong arms around my wolf, holding him tight, and shielding him from all the bad things in the world. Yet, that's clearly not how it worked out.

My father is a good foot taller than me. I'm hardly stern, instead I enjoy watching my wolves do as they please and I love it very much when one of them will just show up randomly through the day just for cuddle out on the lawn in the sun in our wolf forms. I like when Eleazar's and Randall's wolves come by just to vent and blow off steam – they know I'm not very good at giving advice, but I am a great listener. Although, more often than not I feel like I can't protect Paul and I know if a dangerous situation were to arise he'd be the one protecting me since I'm his imprint. Also, it's always going to be him wrapping me up in his big strong arms and alpha or not it's going to be him shielding me from all the bad things in the world... and, you know, I couldn't find reason to complain anymore. I happened to like how perfectly I fit all snug in my wolf's embrace. I liked that he wanted to be my protector, even provider, but I was so stuck in my thinking that certain roles played certain parts. I was alpha, therefore he was my responsibility.

I felt relieved when Eric was able to convince me that changing things up didn't make me a lesser wolf. I may be Paul's alpha, but he saw me as his equal _and_ the love of his life – he just wanted to create a stable home and make sure his imprint was in the perfect environment. To Paul, that was family life; he'd have the pack along with my parents, grandparents, and anybody else who cared to join over every day of the week for dinner if I'd let him. Too bad for him I enjoy peace and quiet every once and awhile, plus he always made me do the dishes since he makes the food. Cleaning up after that many people feels like slave work; add hot flashes, cramps, and the occasional bout of 'if I don't sit right this second I'm going to puke' feeling, and Paul's got a grumpy imprint on his paws.

I think I was finally coming to terms with everything. My wolf wasn't trying to make me his 'woman' when he'd get me to do all the housework, it just made sense with me being home so much. He was at work all day doing what big boys do... _getting all dirty and sweaty_... it wasn't at all a bad thing really. I happened to like when he'd come home all tuckered out and ready to spend time with me. I'd greet him at the door, get my kiss and walk with him to our en-suite where I had clean towels and a fresh pair of comfy clothes waiting for him. He'd shower and I'd take his work clothes to the laundry room so they'd be clean for the next day. When he was done he'd meet me in the kitchen. I always had a light snack out for him, like a few chips and salsa, along with an icy cold beer waiting for him in the freezer, which I'd put in there only minutes before he got home.

I'd get showered with attention – kisses, embraces, and compliments while he snacked and started preparing dinner for us since I was typically a disaster in the kitchen. Sandwiches I could handle, but a Thanksgiving feast? No, that was never going to happen. It was all so utterly routine, even right down to the flirting all the way through our meal – not that it's a bad thing. I loved being able to tease and entice my wolf during supper. Afterwards we tended to laze around for an hour or two before going outside in our wolf forms to splash around in the river or run around in the woods. By the time we got back I was always half asleep and ready for bed, though I'd gotten into the habit of having a bath before lying down since I found it relaxing, plus Paul never failed to join me... I'm sure it's no surprise that was my favourite part about the whole thing. I adored the way his hands would massage my shoulders and slowly work their way down to between my legs. Pruney or not, I was always so ready for sex by the time we got out of the tub. We'd make love, though some days a little more... _roughly_,than other times.

Of course all this was subject to change. We'd often have people over, or Paul would be visiting the palace, and even as of lately I'd been spending time with my dad, although Eric was always present. I didn't know the first thing about changing things in the kingdom and when I asked my parents for help my dad was the first to volunteer his time, which was probably a good thing since I highly doubted my father would have ever been willing to put together a little something in James' memory. I expected at least some fuss from dad, yet received none. Although, he did ask Eric and I to keep to ourselves the fact that over a dozen new youth shelters were being built throughout the kingdom and every underprivileged kid that passed through those doors was guaranteed a fifteen thousand dollar scholarship towards a college education plus a free year of boarding at the school of their choice was all in James Yorkie's name. Father was well aware of the buildings being constructed, just not who they were dedicated to.

Eric was absolutely right about people dying to throw around their money if they thought it would impress my parents. Each of the shelters had at least ten different people willing to sponsor the kids to pave their way through college along with forking out the funds to keep the facility running. My alpha wolf was pretty proud of himself when he listed off a bunch of names dad hadn't thought of contacting; all of which were willing to open up their wallets at my dad's request. I was yet to have the balls to call any of those folks up and ask for access to their bank accounts, though I did get to meet a lot of them and I was fairly certain I made a good impression. However, _Eric_, my goodness, what a shock, he had quite the charming persona he could throw on and there were moments where I felt like I was falling in love with him just like everybody else in the room. He was the epitome of a perfect, yet crooked salesman. He could sell a broken down Geo with four flat tires, a shot transmission, and no front seats to a person looking to purchase a Lamborghini. He didn't even have to know what in the hell he was talking about to sound good... and _look_ good. As it turns out, I think he was quite the swindler at one point in time.

Dinner parties were torturous and exceedingly dull, but extremely necessary. Although, I _fucking loved_ parading my fiance around and introducing him or the both of us to people... not that anybody didn't know who I was. Paul seemed kind of entertained by it all, especially when some of the older folks recognized his name as the guy who 'killed' his own mother and has since inherited his father's fortune when the man mysteriously went missing over a decade ago. My wolf joked that he felt like such a scandal in the room. Although, sadly, it was kind of true. I've heard people whispering about his intentions and how they thought he was using me, which in effect made me appear a fool. When I introduced him, I typically liked to say I was his imprint; however I could see not everybody believed it. Anyway, the people who didn't have a clue who Paul was loved him – how could they not? He looked utterly fuckable in formal attire; I, on the other paw, looked like a feminine dude in a suit – I'm positive that at every dinner I was a hideous mess of a prince. Of course Paul said I appeared absolutely adorable, but it's not like he's going to say I appeared absolutely atrocious. Then again, my father always showed up in less than casual clothes and tended to have his boxers hanging out the back of his baggy jeans – he seriously had no fucks to be given, and I honestly don't know how dad puts up with it. I'd actually be embarrassed if Paul showed up like that, yet clearly my dad was used to it seeing as he didn't even bat an eyelash.

Eric always came and usually brought Emily along with him since Riley had no interest whatsoever in this sort of thing. My god, though... seeing Emily in a tight red cocktail dress with makeup, high heels, and the works. Both Paul and I had to do a double take; I seriously didn't recognize her. I thought it was kind of cute though how Riley was financing their little dinner dates together and fancy clothes. It was obvious Eric liked mingling with the rich and stunning them with his stories, along with having the hottest girl in the room on his arm. I could tell she was bored to tears, however, and I often found myself holding back snickers when she'd talk to people with some fake foreign accent just to entertain herself. My dad was _not_ amused, but father found it hilarious and would request certain ones from time to time. He loved it when she'd start with one and let it slowly fade into another just to throw people off. She has never gotten called on it either, though that's probably because she's the prince's best friend who's screwing his 'assistant'. That's how my dad introduces him as anyway.

I told my dad if we're going to call him that, then we better pay him like one. Eric is doing a pretty awesome job, though. Lately he's been travelling around to nearby towns to scope things out for me and to find things that he thinks needs adjusting – it's like he's my eyes and ears. I've gone on a few day trips with him, but my wolf is needy and says I have to be home by the time he goes to bed. To be honest, I can't tell if he just wants me or the sex I offer. It's probably 50/50.

Eric quit his job at the gym since my dad offered him full time pay if he was willing to travel for longer – a week on, a week off. He was going to pass up the opportunity because of Katie, yet Emily wouldn't let him overlook such a great thing, so the two of them got a place together. She's a full time mom now. Riley was supposed to go with them, but he seems rather reluctant to leave home and hasn't yet, which suits my dad just fine since he was miserable after he heard Riley was going to leave and probably regretted giving Eric the job.

I would have thought Riley would have taken off the first opportunity he got, but I think he's more attached to the palace and all the people in it than he'd lead people to believe. Of course it would be amazing to move in with the two people you love dearly and the little girl that calls you papa, yet it doesn't feel good to leave the dozens of people behind who were the first ones to ever show you any amount of kindness and love... plus, I think he's scared... scared of growing up. He's stuck with a fifteen-year-old's mentality and living like an adult has got to sound intimidating. Neither Emily nor Eric is going to do his laundry, make his meals, or clean up after him – instead he'd have to do all that for himself, plus a little girl. I'm not so sure he's up for that, and I'm pretty certain my dad hopes he'll never be.

I know Riley loves hearing all about Eric's trips and to be fair, some of them are quite interesting. He gets to meet with all sorts of different people and go to an array of different meetings. He's a quick learner, he knows how to make a good first impression, and he's exceedingly good at gaining peoples trust. He's already learnt of two big corporations laundering money and evading taxes, but my parents have decided to wait to blow the whistle on them since they don't want it leading back to Eric. Apparently he's become too good of an asset to lose. I have to agree – there are so many rich folk up to no good. He could make a hit drama show about all the information he's come across, yet when he speaks to Riley about it, it's not how it would sound if I were telling Paul about my day, it's like he's telling a kid a story. My uncle gets all excited, asks billions of questions, and gets super into it – he loves the gossip.

I've been wondering more and more if he's capable of a long term relationship. His eyes don't seem to stray from Emily or Eric, but who's to say he won't get bored? I just don't want to see either of my wolves hurt, or especially Katie. She loves her papa and I don't want her to lose him. James is a good example of what losing people can do to someone. I was actually so concerned about it I talked to my father. I was truly worried about Katie losing one or even two of her parents, but I was also worried that she'd never have a proper family. Father definitely understood where I was coming from, though he was hesitant to change laws just for me. I drove my point home and basically said I wasn't going to leave or shut up until he agreed to make it legal for those three, or any three to marry each other. In the end he relented, yet he was stuck making the law 'fair' and decided that any number of consenting adults could marry one another.

I was kind of proud of myself to be honest. I seriously didn't agree with it, I didn't understand why _three_ or even _more _people would want to be together, but I liked that everybody was free to love and marry whoever and however many they choose. I didn't bother to tell Eric or uncle Riley about the new law since I didn't want to freak them out or something, though I did mention it to Emily. She was really grateful and I got a huge hug and a kiss out of it. I actually don't think I've seen her that excited in a long time. It wasn't like she had any intention to marry her boys anytime soon, though I do believe she appreciated me helping her get the option to... and that's why I felt proud of myself. I felt like I did something an alpha would do. I advocated for my wolves, for their rights, and got them what they deserved – equality. I didn't have to believe what they were doing was right; that seriously wasn't the point, their happiness was.

Speaking of happiness, my mood has gone up drastically since being around my dad, and, you know, I think I had the same effect on him. I truthfully hadn't gotten the nerve to apologize, but I wanted to, and Paul _knows_ that, we've talked about it! Yet, Eric was always there, or Paul, and sometimes the moment just didn't feel right. I didn't want to be rushed and I didn't want it to feel forced – I wanted it to sound sincere. My dad pulled me aside and told me I didn't need to apologize when he heard me mulling over it at dinner last Sunday. I didn't say much in reply, but only because I didn't know _what_ to say. I owed him a profound sorry, yet there he was profusely apologizing for everything he'd put me through. He told me he was just happy to have me around, and even more so since I've taken such an interest in the kingdom. I felt sick with the sheer amount of guilt I felt when he told me he was so proud of me... that I was becoming such a good man. I was too confused to know what to think because I had people like Paul telling me the complete opposite.

I turned my back to my wolf. I was comfortable enough with myself to shed the tears, but not enough to let him see any more of them. "I don't know what you want me to say, Paul." I sounded whiny, perhaps even childish and I certainly was having issues with holding back the waterworks. "You can jump in front of truck for me and that makes you a hero, yet when I fight just as hard for you, that makes me selfish – why is there such a double standard? I loved you before I even knew what that word meant and all it entailed." I wiped my face with the back of my hands and glanced over my shoulder to meet my fiance's eyes. "When you came back it would have been so much easier not to care, but I chose the road far less travelled and never in my life had I ever felt more lost. I was a kid watching a grown man that I loved and adored cry because of all the pain he suffered, pain I couldn't even begin to understand. I never could have fathomed a person could be so broken or feel all the agony you did. I admit that there were a few times I wanted to give up, but I was scared – you'd beg me to fix you, yet I didn't have a clue where to even start or if that was even possible." Slowly Paul made his way over to me, my eyes following him the whole way. Once he was in front of me I all but threw myself at him and my arms circled his muscular torso. I cried against him, yet I hardly cared. He was my wolf, my Paulie, and if I couldn't be my over emotional self around him, who could I with?

My hands squeezed the back of his shirt and his warm arms embraced me while I wept. "It's like you've forgotten how truly difficult you were. There were times I was left feeling like a substandard and useless imprint because for days I wouldn't be able to get you out of bed. It frightened me when you'd talk to yourself, obsess over the order of things in your room, and tear things apart. I felt so helpless when I tried to figure out ways to get you better, and every time thoughts of you aroused me I felt perverted, even cruel because of everything you went through. I thought I was violating you with the dirty things that would come to my mind, but I couldn't even help it... I was so turned on by you and I felt just as guilty because of it."

"I made you feel that way?" My wolf murmured in question.

"Yes!" I sobbed in exclamation. I hid my face away on his chest while hugging him tighter than I ever had. I'd never let go of this wolf – I could promise the whole world that. "But, I never stopped loving you, not even a little! I just wanted you to be happy and healthy; I would have done _anything_ to help you get that way." I turned my face to the side so I could better breathe and my words weren't muffled. I felt soothed when he wiped away the tears on my cheek with the calloused pad of his thumb; it made me feel cared for. "You may not believe it, but I _know_ you're my mate. I've always known, and it's not like I feel entitled or that I even deserve you – to be honest, I often feel the opposite. It took awhile, but you evolved into the amazingly strong and independent person; you're special, and I may be a prince, yet I'm not ignorant enough to think you couldn't do better than me. Unlike you, or even James, I'm not special. I've been sheltered for most of my life and because of that I don't know a lot of things. I haven't gone through even a quarter of the life experiences you and James have had, good _or_ bad. Most things I can't relate to, but that's never stopped me from trying. Maybe I'm oblivious to peoples feelings from time to time, yet it's never been because I don't care... that's the farthest thing from the truth. I just don't understand or pick up on the fact that something is amiss. Excluding James, I've never experienced any sort of loss. I don't know what it's like to lose a beloved family member and never get them back. I don't know the hurt someone can feel when that happens more than once. I don't know what it's like to have absolutely no one around to make sure I'm taken care of. I don't know what it feels like to truly be alone in the world." I paused to take a deep and much needed breath of air. The tears were still blurring my vision, yet I wasn't openly weeping. My voice was shaky, but controlled – I was keeping it together despite feeling like I was torn all apart.

I took a tiny step back, though kept my hands clenched in the fabric of Paul's shirt and craned my neck to look at him. "It's not my fault I was born privileged, so it hurts when you say I'm spoiled. I've never used my wealth to my advantage, except when I got this home for us. I've never demanded or even wanted unnecessary or expensive things. Everything I do have, I want to share – I don't consider this just our home, but my whole packs, along with Eleazar's and Randall's wolves. Everybody knows they are free to come and go as they please and stay as long as they like or need. I know each and every one of them are aware they can ask me for anything they need. Heck, even if they really just wanted something or dreamt of doing something, but didn't have the means, I'd hope they'd ask me for assistance." I smiled a bit through my tears as I remembered something. "Laurent isn't part of the pack, but he is a good friend and not long after you went into the hospital I helped him open a second barber shop. I told him multiple times he didn't need to pay me back – it was truly a lot of money that I obviously don't need, but he insisted. I tucked that money away in a bank account for his daughter when she's done with high school. Whether she uses it to continue her education, put a down payment on a home, or something else entirely is up to her. When I brought Laurent to the bank to sign over the account he was ecstatic, and I was glad he didn't think of it as a handout because that wasn't my intention at all. I just wanted to give him a break, he's worked so hard for what he has, and to not have to worry about the financial aspect of his daughter's future has got to be one a hell of a load off his back." My smile slowly faded and I gazed seriously at my wolf. "It makes me feel good to make others happy, just like it'd make me feel terrible if I caused them any sort of pain... if that's what you consider a selfish person, then so be it; I'm selfish."

"Angel..." Paul sighed.

I shook my head and took a step away from him – this time losing my grip on him. "I know I'm not a perfect person, I've never tried to be. I just want to be a good person, and I really do think I am."

"Angel," He repeated. "I've really got to get going. Nahuel will be waiting."

My heart plummeted. "Oh." I murmured as I looked over my shoulder to check out the clock on the stove. It was half past eight in the AM. Nahuel would indeed be waiting for him. "Sorry for keeping you."

My wolf smiled like I'd said absolutely jack shit and didn't just spill my guts. "It's fine, but you know how I don't like being late." He chastised.

"Sorry." I apologized for a second time.

Paul kissed my forehead and pointed to the mess he made in the sink. "Be a good boy and make sure that's cleaned up before I get home tonight." I gritted my teeth to hold back angry words and nodded my head to assure him the sink would be spotless when he returned.

He bent and gave me a peck on the lips, one I was too annoyed to return. However, I don't think he noticed. He turned his back to me to head of out of the kitchen, yet he paused in the wide arched doorway that led the way to the front door and my spirits lifted when I watched him move to face me.

"I'm a dick." He mumbled as he reached into the front pocket of his stained work jeans and pulled out his cell phone. He turned on the screen and tapped out a message on his touch screen then placed it back in his pocket.

With a sigh he headed toward the sink, opened the cupboard door beneath it and picked out the broken pieces of plate to toss in the trash. Afterwards, he closed the door with his knee as he began rinsing off the dishes that survived the crash and placed them on the bottom rack in the dishwasher to the right of the sink. When the task was complete he turned to meet my eyes. "If you're still hungry I made extra fruit salad since I know how much you like it. It's in the fridge."

"Okay." I quietly responded.

My wolf cleared his throat; he seemed uncomfortable. "Want me to get you some?"

"No thank you." I politely declined.

"Want me to make you some pancakes?" He queried and I shook my head no. "Waffles?" I shook my head for a second time. "French toast?" A third. "Bacon and eggs?" A smile crept onto my face as I shook my head for the fourth time. "Sausage and hash browns?" He asked with his own smile forming, but I shook my head nonetheless. "How about a treat? I could make you cinnamon rolls with cream cheese icing." My smile widened, yet I still shook my head no. "Banana crumb muffins?" I gave my head a shake with my smile growing even further. He was feeling apologetic, I could tell – he was trying woo me with treats. "Pumpkin bread?"

With a slight snort of amusement I shook my head for the final time. "Just an apology will do." I told him. My wolf nodded and strode around the island to scoop me up in his arms. I felt squished and could hardly breathe, yet it was lovely nonetheless.

Once my feet were back on the floor and my arms weren't stuck at my sides, I hugged Paul as if there was no tomorrow and I was quite certain he was doing the same. "I'm sorry." He murmured by my ear. "If I ever say something that stupid ever again you have permission to throw something at me... like your fist or something."

I chortled and kissed my way along my wolf's smooth copper skinned clavicle. "I'm not going to beat my fiance, but I appreciate the option and I accept the apology." I playfully replied.

Paul's long fingers glided through the short strands of my hair and he nuzzled his nose close to my scalp. "I often forget just how young you are... everything you said earlier-"

"Forget about it." I insisted.

"You were right though... the names I called you-"

"Forget about it." I said with a chuckle. "You're allowed to get mad at me. Just try not to make the name calling a habit, alright?"

My wolf nodded with his hands finding my cheeks and his lips mine. He started out gentle but it was only a matter of moments until I caught the scent of his growing arousal and he was lifting me up so I was sitting on the island. He was quick to pull off his shirt and press his clothed crotch against mine. "I told Nahuel he was on his own today and for him to let all the other wolves know the house was off limits for the day." He said as he grabbed the waist of my pyjama pants by each hip. "Lie back, butt up." He instructed.

I did what was asked of me and laid back on the cool marble counter, although I eyed Paul with suspicion as I did so. "You knew we were going to have make up sex, didn't you?" I questioned while he removed my pants from my legs, leaving me bare from the waist down.

He smirked as his hands quickly went to his belt to unbuckle it. "I believed it to be inevitable, yes." He sounded just as sexy as he did arrogant. I'd never tell him, but I usually liked how his ego tended to inflate when he knew he was going to get laid. The confidence he had in his sexuality and ability to please me was a massive turn on.

"Cocky dog." I teased when he pushed down his jeans and bent to remove them along with his socks. "You shouldn't just assume I'll forgive you."

My wolf popped back into view. He was completely nude and his erection stood proud between his muscular thighs. "Why not?" He playfully queried as he lifted my right leg by the underside of my knee. "I'm your Paulie." He hummed while nipping, sucking, and kissing his way down my inner thigh. "I'm irresistible to you." He mused and the tip of his tongue just barely flicked over the tip of my dick. Unabashedly, I whined for more and that sexy smirk returned to Paul's face. "I'm your biggest weakness." His impish gaze caught mine. "I'm practically your kryptonite."

With a slight smile on my face I rolled my eyes. "More like you're my mate."

Paul suddenly frowned and he stood up straight. "Ryan..." He sighed. "A wolf's mate is someone who they can have pups with."

I hooked my leg around his waist. "Well, come here, stud." I comically flirted as I pulled him close. "Let us make puppies then."

He growled lowly and lustfully while lifting me just enough to tug my shirt from my body. I couldn't help but rise the rest of the way to taste his lips and run my hands over the hills and valleys of his abs. My butt was on the very end of the island, my legs were tight around his waist, and the heavy weight of Paul's engorged member grinding delightfully against mine was enough to have me whimpering against his mouth for more of him.

A hand of his slipped between us and palmed our cocks together as he gently pushed me to my back. However, his movements halted and I caught him staring at my stomach. My cheeks flushed and I quickly covered my middle with my arms. There was one thing I greatly appreciated about our usual evening routine – coitus in the dark.

Paul let go of our sexes and brushed his fingertips over my abdomen. It was no longer flat but rather slightly curved. It was easy enough to hide with a loose shirt, though lying naked on my back in a bright room such as this made it impossible to hide that I've gained weight. "I think I've been overfeeding my imprint." He mused with a chuckle. If I blushed any further my cheeks would burst into flames.

I poked at my stomach and scowled at it. "Is this what people consider a front butt?" I queried.

My wolf laughed and shook his head. "It's not a front butt; it's a cute little tummy."

"Fat isn't cute." I whined with a pout.

"But you are." He leaned over my body to kiss his way along my jawline and work his way down. His hot breath fanned my nipple which gave me a small shiver and caused him to chuckle as he continued lower. He swirled his tongue around my navel, but I was feeling far too self-conscious to enjoy it. I didn't feel attractive – not with a belly I couldn't seem to get rid of.

As soon as Paul pointed out my stomach looked bloated a few weeks back I started skipping lunch so long as my wolf wasn't around to notice. The last thing I wanted to do every day was drag my ass out of bed in the morning, but I did and if I wasn't feeling too ill I'd shift to go for run which I'd always regret. The cramps would always worsen to the extent that it felt like I had daggers poking around inside me and the nausea would cause me to lose my breakfast. Of course I didn't tell Paul this. I was scared of making him worry about me; he had enough on his plate and with the little details I'd given him I don't think he really took my complaints seriously.

When I was home alone and things would get bad I just had to keep repeating to myself that I was fine. If something was wrong with me my wolf would know and I'd be at the doctors sooner than I could say the word. But, Paul clearly wasn't concerned, nor had he said anything regarding my health besides the absurdity his wolf thinks. The fact that Paul's wolf thinks I'm pregnant was ridiculous, yet a little bit of me couldn't shake the thought. I didn't all of the sudden think it was possible, but the coincidences were making me paranoid and irrational. No matter how little I eat or how much I exercise I can't seem to shake the extra weight, and from what I can tell I'm still gaining. Plus, the cramps, the hot flashes... nausea – this shit was beginning to freak me out!

I reached forward and lifted my wolf's head from my stomach by the sides of his hair and caught his gaze. His expression was one of surprise. "What if there's something inside me?!" I exclaimed in a panic.

Paul wasn't at all shaken by my words and he even had the nerve to smile. "Yeah, that's gonna be me in just a few minutes here."

"I'm being serious!"

He smirked. "So am I."

I shook my head and decided to just ignore him. "W-what if there's like... worms or something in me?" Because it certainly wasn't a puppy... bugs eating my innards was far more plausible.

Paul stared at me with a strange look of disgust on his face. "_Ryan_, you don't have worms." He ran his hands along my sides and rested his head on my abdomen with a relaxed sigh. "You're perfect on the inside. I can feel it."

"No!" I cried, my thoughts wild with fear. "Something isn't right. _I can feel it_. What does it sound like in there?"

My wolf flicked his eyes to mine. "I don't know, kinda like a laundromat, but one that could lull me right to sleep."

I furrowed my brows. "A laundromat?"

"Yep." He said with a nod and he stood up right. "There's two very distinct things _swish swish swishing _inside you."

I felt my blood run cold. "Like the_ swish swish swish_ sound of worms crawling through my intestines?" I meekly questioned.

"No." Paul replied with a laugh while he soothingly ran his hands over my belly. "The noises are almost like your heartbeat, but imagine it more high pitched and beating at double the pace." My cold blood turned to ice and my wolf's face suddenly paled. "Can you get dressed please?" It was a request rather than a question and as he said it he bent to pick up his jeans. He slid them on, buckled his belt, and handed over my clothes while I slowly sat up.

I carefully got off the island and pulled on my navy blue pyjama pants first, then my plain white t-shirt afterwards. "Paulie," I whispered. "There's something really wrong with me, isn't there?"

He tugged on his muscle shirt and gave me some sort of sad expression I couldn't quite decipher. "It's probably just a harmless parasite or something." _Harmless_? I've been feeling progressively worse over the past three months! "We're going to call Dr. Cullen and have him meet us at the hospital. Whatever it is he'll take it out, alright?"

The little hairs on my arms stood on end as goosebumps rose on my skin. I'd never felt so disgusted in my life. "Promise?" My wolf's eyes fell away from mine for a few moments and I watched his Adam's apple bob in his throat as he swallowed in what looked to be apprehension.

His line of sight found its way back to mine and he nodded. "Yeah, angel; I promise."


	63. Chapter 63

**I understand that a number of you are really sick of Ryan. I'm sorry I created a character you can't stand, but I can't erase him from this nor do I want different characters to be the focal point of the story. Many of you love James and there will be plenty more of him (sorry to those who hate him). Anyway, I'll be wrapping this story up as quickly as possible. My guess is there's about ten chapters left.**

**Thank you to all who review; good or bad, I really do appreciate the honesty.**

* * *

**Chapter Sixty-three  
**

_Point of View: Ryan**  
**_

Dr. Cullen poked and prodded at my swollen belly with his chilly fingers. "Did you feel that?!" I gasped as I felt a little nudge on the inside of my abdomen – it felt almost like someone had tapped my shoulder, yet on the inside of me and below my navel. The _worms_ did not like being smooshed around in my guts... I shivered at just the thought. "Do you think it's bugs?" I hurriedly questioned.

The doctor shook his head with his eyes squinted in obvious concentration. "I think it could be any number of things." He answered, and I turned my head to the left from where I lay to give my wolf a puzzled gaze. Fear and worry for his imprint radiated so strongly from Paul it was as if I was the one feeling it and he clung to my hand like we'd be born attached and there was no feasible way we could be parted. His face held a look of indifference, though I knew it was his way of keeping calm; as long as he could keep his cool on the outside, he was safe from becoming overwhelmed on the inside.

I was resting on small hospital bed in an examination room that honestly gave me the creeps, especially with the mirror that was on the left side of the wall that reminded me of those interrogation rooms in cop shows. Carlisle explained that this area of the hospital was used for students and the mirror window was used for them to watch on the other side while it gave the patient and doctor to be the feeling of privacy. I knew nobody was on the other side, but I couldn't help imagine that some weirdo was watching us.

The head of the bed was directly placed in the middle of the plain right wall, and Dr. Cullen sat opposite to Paul, who cleared his throat to get the doc's attention. "Ryan is healthy right? It's, like, bloating because of gas or something, isn't it? I mean, the cramps would suggest that, right?" My wolf was_ too_ concerned; his tone said it all, plus he was squeezing my hand so tight I thought it might fall off from lack of circulation.

Dr. Cullen grabbed a stool with three little wheels from the far corner, pushed it over to my side and took a seat. "It certainly could be. Although, as of right now I don't believe that's the case. I'm leaning more towards a possible intestinal obstruction. That would explain the vomiting his highness was hesitant to mention, along with the stomach distention and the abdominal pain. I'd like to do a CT scan, but," His friendly golden eyes shifted to mine. "Considering the movements you've said to feel and the sounds Mr. Lahote described I'd like to take a little precaution and do an ultrasound first to check things out."

My wolf's brows were furrowed as he brought up my hand to run the back of my knuckles along his scruffy cheek and give them a kiss. His heart was pounding, and not only could I feel his pulse in his hand but the intensity of his fright too. It was uncomfortably acute and it made my heart thump painfully hard in my chest. "Intestinal obstruction?" Paul asked in confusion. "My imprint's bowels are normal. He's very regular. He goes to the bathroom every morning and they're never loose, nor has he ever been constipated during the time we've been living together." My cheeks had to have brightened to a fluorescent pink. I probably should have been a little more mature about it, but it just felt awkward to have Paul talk about that. Granted, he is such a good fiance. It always pushed my limits a bit when he'd insist that I be open about that stuff when he asks. I understand that he only wants to know because he wants to make sure the sex doesn't negatively affect me since he's going in an out. That's what he says at least.

Dr. Cullen nodded. "Then I do believe the ultrasound will prove beneficial."

"What are you looking for?" I queried, then frowned in fear. "Parasites?"

The doctor stood as he rounded the bed and headed for the door. "Something like that." He answered, though sounded rather evasive. "Now, if you'll please excuse me, your highness, I will go fetch the equipment."

"Okay." I murmured as he exited and I turned my gaze to my wolf. "Paulie..." I whined with a pout.

He climbed up onto the small bed with me leaving the beaten up old wooden chair with tacky blue pleather cushioning behind. My wolf pulled me into his arms as he spoiled my cheeks, temple and forehead with kisses. I laid my head on his chest and deeply inhaled his intoxicating scent while he ran a warm hand along my back. "I don't know what's scaring me more, that you could be sick and somehow I missed it or that my wolf is beginning to make me question everything I thought was possible." Paul quietly told me.

I tilted my head and looked up at him with my hand clinging to the front of his shirt. "What do you mean? What's your wolf making you question?" I asked.

His eyes fell away from mine. "I want my puppy to be inside you."

"Oh, Paul..." I sighed with a sad frown on my face. "Don't listen to him."

My wolf's arms tightened around me. "He's never been wrong before. I don't want him to start being now."

"It's impossible." I insisted.

He buried his nose in my hair and kissed my head. "I don't care. I want it so badly."

"I don't..." I grumbled more or less to myself.

Paul tensed. "You can't mean that." He breathed.

I sat up and gazed down at him. "I know you want puppies one day, and we will; I promise. You know Emily will provide the eggs and plenty of women will jump at the chance to be a surrogate for an heir to the kingdom... they'll be in history books. Just be patient. I want to be married for a few years first."

My wolf growled in disapproval. "Yeah, and when are we getting married, this century or the next?"

I let out a huff of breath and shook my head. "I want things to be perfect between my parents and I, alright? I just... I don't want any of the James stuff on my mind on our wedding day."

"Jesus, fuck! So, next goddamn century is what you're saying!" He angrily snapped as he hauled himself off the bed and plopped down in the chair beside it. "You need to do yourself a favour and move the hell on. James may have loved you, but he didn't fucking like you. If he had any sort of respect for you, would he have burnt your dad? No, Ryan, no he fucking wouldn't have."

I deeply inhaled to keep myself calm. "This isn't the time or the place to be talking about this stuff."

"You think I give a shit? You know I loved Jamie, _you know it_, but this has got to stop! When he was still alive he didn't want to see you, and I'm positive if he was alive now that would still be the case. Besides, the only goddamn reason you're pissed with your dad is because you feel sorry for James. Had the leech been some regular Joe Blow with a good family, tons of friends, and hadn't been so _madly _in love with you, then we wouldn't be having this conversation because you'd have killed him your-fucking-self!"

I cocked my head and stared at my wolf inquisitively. "What exactly are you trying to get at, Paul?"

With a rumbling growl he ripped himself from the chair, poked his head out the door, presumably looking for Dr. Cullen, and closed it to give us privacy. He stalked back over to the side of the bed and gave me a heated glare, yet it made me feel cold and goosebumps rose on my skin. "You're so fucking incompetent!" He roared and my eyes widened. "I love you, god, I fucking love you. I'm going to marry you... I'm going to marry the hell out of you! And, I'm going to spend every day for as long as I live showing you just how much you mean to me. I'm worried so fucking sick about you right now, but I'm too damn irritated to stay silent anymore!"

"O-okay..." I whispered. "Go on."

"You don't fucking think!" He breathily hissed as he roughly tapped each side of his head. "Use your fucking head once in awhile! Your dad has done you no damn favours by how much he has coddled you... for fuck's sake, it's like you're stuck suckling at his teat, except when it can't be him, you find someone else to latch onto. You can't make any sort of decisions for yourself. I tried to shove you in the right direction, I really fucking did. I'm not an idiot, no nineteen-year-old _boy_ wants to play housewife, but would you ever speak up and say so? _No_, of course not. I wasn't lying when I said I want puppies, but I don't give two fucks if you want to stay at home with them or not during the day! I know that's the last thing you want to do. Unlike you with everybody else, I'm not oblivious to your feelings; I just wanted you to grow a pair and take your life into your own paws and do something with it!"

"Paul, I am..." I murmured. "I'm working with Eric... my dad."

A look of rage crossed his face. "That's what _Eric_ thought you should do!" He yelled at me and I did my best not to flinch in response. "I wanted you to do decide for your-damn-self what you wanted to do! I would have been so much more proud of you if you were out scrubbing toilets as long as it was _your _prerogative! I'm happy that you're getting out, doing things, and having fun working on the kingdom, but you're such a crowd pleaser – you'll do whatever you think others want to see from you just because you want everybody to like you." He paused his words and let out a heavy sigh. He reached out and ran his strong fingers along my jawline. "Sweetheart, you're an alpha, you're not supposed to care what others think of you; you're supposed to do what _you_ want. As much as I want to provide and care for you, I _need_ an alpha, not just my imprint, to care for me to. I need you to be able to speak your mind without reservation, I need you to tell me when I'm doing good or fucking up, and I even need you to go as far as ordering me to do things every now and again. I don't care if it's something as simple as ordering me to go get the groceries or weed the garden – I just need to hear from my alpha every once in awhile. My wolf craves it... I crave it." He gave me a warm smile which helped settle my unease and he fingered the short strands of my hair in his hand. "You may be a smaller, cuter, younger, and a more emotional and soft spoken wolf than me, but I still look up to you for guidance. I submitted to you, not the other way around. The alpha in you can't be happy. Not even a little. You're floundering, angel, I see it, _I see you_, but I can't help because you need to do it for yourself. I've been trying to show you that for months now."

I berated myself for feeling the unmistakable urge to cry, though heavy, muscular arms found their way around me. I nuzzled my face into my wolf's chest, squeezing my eyes tightly closed, and gripping with all my might to the back of his shirt. "Are you happy, Ryan?" He murmured in question.

"I'm happy to be with you." I whimpered.

"That's not what I asked."

"I like seeing people happy when I do what they think I should. My dad said he's proud of me."

My wolf sighed. "That's still not what I asked. Angel, are _you_ happy?" I shook my head because I wasn't. Not really. It wasn't the things in my life I was unhappy about, it was _me_. I didn't know _who_ the hell I was. I didn't know what sorts of things I was interested in, what I liked, what I hated, what I wanted, or even what I needed. Paul was my only exception. I knew everything about him interested me, he was what I liked, I hated when he hurt, all I wanted was for him to be happy, and he has always felt exactly like what I needed. I've always tried to do and be what I thought others expected, yet that only made my whole life revolve around him because he was the only thing I couldn't let go of for the sake of someone else.

I rubbed my face against his shirt to clean up my watery eyes. "I'm so lost." I dismally admitted. "Who am I?"

His hand found the back of my head and his fingers flitted through my hair, gently running along my scalp. "You're the sweetest most beautiful boy there is."

I had to roll my eyes and snort in amusement. What a load of bull. "Liar." I said with a small chuckle.

"The biggest." He murmured. "I love you though... more than you could ever fathom. I'm so proud to call you my imprint, Ryan; don't ever doubt that. You've given me everything I thought I'd never be capable of having. You've made me the happiest man."

I gazed up at my wolf and smiled. "I bet you'd be even happier if I could give you that puppy your wolf seems to think I'm carrying."

"God..." Paul breathed. "I'd die and go to heaven."

I feigned a gasp. "And leave me to be a single parent?"

He hugged me tight and pressed a kiss to my forehead. "Never. For all I care you can take off and never come back once I have my puppy."

"Thanks." I grumbled.

My wolf gave me a big charming smile. "Hey, I'd prefer if you stuck around. I just _really_ want to be a daddy – I'm beyond ready. I'm yearning for it. I want little ones all around our house."

"All around the house? Sounds like my worst nightmare. I have a hard enough time keeping track of my wallet."

He laughed as he pulled away and took a seat on the chair. "At least you're honest about your inhibitions. I'll put little bells on our pups when I leave so you can hear them wherever they go." He playfully jested. "Even GPS tracking if necessary."

I smiled, though sighed. "I'm not ready for that kind of stuff, Paul. Not even a little." I confessed. Any happiness Paul was feeling vanished from his expression and a sad frown down turned his lips, yet he nodded along in understanding. "I cry more than most toddlers, I can hardly make a decent meal, I happen to love it when the house just has the two of us in it, plus I really don't want the responsibility... not when I'm still trying to grow up myself. I'd be such a massive failure as a parent and it just wouldn't be fair to them."

"Sweetie..." He said while reaching for my hand. I took it in both of mine and kissed his palm before nuzzling my cheek into it which caused a tender smile to erase his frown. "We'll go at your pace. I know you're not ready and the last thing I want is to pressure you into being a parent; I don't want you to resent me or our pups, but when you are ready I'm helping you cum in the cup."

I couldn't help but laugh and give his hand another kiss. "Sorry, Paulie, I don't think you're allowed to come into the room when I do that."

"I'll be a prince, so fuck the rules!" He excitedly exclaimed. "Besides, that's the only part I get to have in the puppy making process. I'll take what I can get."

"Well, if we get a little alpha on the first or second try, you should have a biological puppy afterwards." I gave my wolf a smirk. "It would be a shame if a man like you didn't get to pass on his genes. You're too sexy not to; you'd be robbing the kingdom of such a good thing."

Paul smirked right back at me. "I'm inclined to agree." He cockily stated.

There was a quick knock at the door and Dr. Cullen peeked in. "I'm not interrupting anything am I?" He inquired. I shook my head and Paul motioned for him to come in. The doctor stepped out for a moment or two before pushing the portable ultrasound machine that looked an awful lot like a funny looking computer into the room. He rounded the bed, and plugged the machine into the available electrical socket that caught his eye while I laid back on the bed with my head propped up by fluffy white pillows.

The doctor directed me to lift up my shirt and he tucked a towel into the waist of my pants to keep the gel from dirtying them. He expressed that it would be cold before squeezing some onto my abdomen, yet the chill startled me nonetheless and my hand clenched my wolfs'.

After Dr. Cullen fiddled around with turning on the machine, he moved the monitor away from mine and Paul's view, and pressed the wand to my bare abdomen and slowly spread around the gel. I watched as the muscles in the doctor's milky pale face tightened as he seemingly tried to hold back any sort of expression. "Can I see?" I asked in attempt to see when had his face so stiff.

"Let him do his job, Ryan." Paul chastised.

I shot a glare my wolf's way and looked back to the doc as the machine beeped away as he hit buttons and held the wand still. "What are you doing?" I questioned.

"Measuring." He replied under his breath.

I swallowed uncomfortably. "Measuring what?"

"Ryan!" My wolf hissed. I flicked my eyes over to him and he shook his head. "Just wait."

"It's alright." Dr. Cullen said as he moved his gaze away from the screen and caught mine. He gave me a small smile, though it felt forced. "I do believe I've found the cause of concern."

"Parasites?" I queried with a worried frown.

"Depends on how you look at it." The doctor lightly chuckled and continued on. "Now, brace yourself, my prince, this will seem shocking." He looked over to Paul. "You too, Mr. Lahote." My wolf nodded and the legs of his chair scraped against the floor as he got as close as he could to me and placed his two hands over my left.

Dr. Cullen turned the screen and I found my eyes glued to it. There, in fuzzy black and white, was a fucking _alien_!I gasped, my heart was practically screaming in my chest with the force it was pumping blood, and I felt my hands go clammy... my head dizzy... my stomach sour...

"That's... that's my fucking puppy!" Paul exclaimed with a shaky stutter. My eyes widened as tears burst from them – my wolf's an alien? I shook my head and wiped away my tears with my free hand... no, that was just stupid thinking. A puppy?

The doctor smiled and gave my wolf a nod. "Twin A," He said, then moved the wand to the right only but a mere few inches to reveal another creature. "And twin B. It's easy for me to see that they share the same placenta; it's more than likely they'll be identical."

Paul lifted a hand and ran it through his inky black hair as he marvelled at the squirming little image. "Those are myboys..." He whispered.

"From what little I've been able to see I would agree and say they are boys, _but _I wouldn't bet my money on it just yet. These puppies are quite developed, yet it does cause me some concern because of their size. If my judgement is correct they look between twelve to fourteen weeks along, though they are far smaller than what you'd typically see at this stage."

A look of panic crossed my wolf's face and his eyes shifted to the vampire's. "Is that bad?" He questioned fretfully.

Dr. Cullen sighed. "I don't know, Mr. Lahote. We have so many tests ahead of us. This is truly remarkable and I can't even begin to explain how this happened... of course I have my theories, but-"

"How?" I interrupted with tears streaming down my cheeks. "How did this happen to me?"

The doctor turned his attention to me. "You're an alpha, and truly an alpha of alphas. There's a power inside you stronger than any other wolf. Perhaps not as strong as your father, but strong enough. They say sexuality is determined in the womb and if that's the case you were born homosexual, and it's only natural for a wolf once he shifts for the first time, especially an alpha, to want to breed. Now, with your sexuality one would say that's entirely impossible, but you're a shape shifter, a powerful one, and it's not too farfetched to believe that internally you can shift between sexes. An alpha wolf of your caliber will do whatever he can to pass on his genes, whether his human half is aware of it or not."

I turned my head and gazed at my wolf, tears pooling in my eyes. "Do you remember the day I phased for the first time?"

He nodded. "Vaguely."

"I kissed you, but you rejected me."

"Sweetheart, you were eleven."

"I know," I murmured. "But that's when I really started wanting you, sexually speaking, and despite being an alpha I never imagined you on the... uh, receiving end. I've never wanted it any other way either. I remember everything always being so sex centred in my head when it came to you. I remember you asking me why just you wasn't enough, why I needed sex as well – I could never explain it and I felt selfish because of the type of relationship I yearned from you."

Dr. Cullen cleared his throat before adding to the conversation. "I do believe your body and your instincts knew exactly what to do when it came to Mr. Lahote. He imprinted on you, there's that bond, a natural pull that will guide the alpha inside you in his direction. Your wolf isn't going to want anybody else; that's who he'll want to mate with, especially if you, yourself, want Paul."

My wolf's brows rose. "Long before Ryan and I began having sex I wanted to... err..." A rare blush tinted his copper cheeks. "Ejaculate inside him. It was on my mind so much that I even dreamt about it when I slept. It wasn't even the sex I was really thinking about, I just... oh god, I just wanted to fill him with my seed."

It felt like fire spread across my own cheeks as I blushed myself. "I guess this was truly inevitable then." I quietly put in.

Paul's eyes travelled back to the screen and a smile crept onto his lips. "Can I see my other puppy again?" The doctor moved the wand over to the left and my first little alien came back into view. He had such a ridiculously round head and funny shaped torso that seemed chubby and unnaturally long. His legs didn't want to come into sight, but every now and again a teensy little hand could be seen – it was seriously and undeniably precious.

"Your highness," Dr. Cullen said, getting my attention. "Can you see that movement on your pup's chest there?" I nodded as I eyed the wriggling. "That's the heartbeat. Would you like to hear it?" Once again I nodded and with a few beeps of the machine the sound was just how Paul had described it... a soothing little laundromat.

Tears leaked from my eyes and my hand came up to stifle a whimper. "He's so perfect." I softly cried.

"He looks like a Nahuel if you ask me." Paul told me, and I could tell he was grinning just by the tone of his voice.

"Nahuel, really?"

"Yeah, he looks tough, like an ass kicker and generally a lot of trouble. He'll have the sweetest heart, though." My wolf caught my gaze. "Nahuel Jacob."

I quirked a brow. "You want to name him after your friend and my father?"

He shook his head. "I want to name him after the two people that led me to you. Without Nahuel I'd have had nothing to live for in prison and without Jacob I would have never found my imprint."

I nodded, a slight smile upturned my lips, and I requested to hear my other itty-bitty alien's heart. "He's just as perfect." I mused as I eyed his goofy frame. He almost had the shape of a peanut – round head, round tummy, and the skinniest little legs and arms. If I was supposed to be an angel, what on earth were my space boys?

"What's his name?" Paul queried.

I sniffled and swatted away my tears; I didn't even have think about it. "James." I answered. "James Edward Lahote."

It was my wolf's turn to quirk a brow. "You're going to put those two names together?"

"Yes. It creates peace, don't you think?" I queried.

He gave me such a fond smile. "It does." He agreed. I felt so irrationally calm. I was immensely petrified, and rightfully so, yet the longer I looked at the screen the bigger I felt my heart swell with not only love, but pride. It sounded insane to think I was capable of internally shifting between male and female... however, be that the case, I felt no shame. None whatsoever. Nobody in their right mind could look at these puppies and feel shame. I was honestly prepared to grow breasts to feed them and have my dick spontaneously fall off so I could safely give birth – I prayed otherwise, but I was prepared and accepting nonetheless.

A part of me wished I could run away from this whole situation, take Paul up on that promise he made earlier, and forget this ever happened. Yet, an even bigger part of me wouldn't dare and the mere thought of removing my precious little alien boys – _killing them –_ made me feel sick with anger at myself for even letting thoughts like that enter my mind. The tears in my eyes fell faster and thicker as a horrible realization hit me deep in the gut. I'd been starving them... I'd been vomiting my breakfast more often than not, never purposely of course, but I'd been skipping lunch as much as possible with the intent to lose weight. I made myself hungry and in turn my innocent puppies – I had to wonder if it was my own fault for their small size.

A guilt stronger than any other I've felt shook me to my core and I sobbed. I sobbed because I knew I wouldn't be a good parent, I knew I wasn't fit to raise one pup, let alone two, and I knew beyond a doubt that I just wasn't ready for this. I couldn't help but see the irony though. I finally mustered the courage to tell my wolf just this and he understood my worries, we were going to wait until I believed I could be a positive thing in a child's life, not a hindrance. I knew how Paul felt about one puppy... but three... I don't know if he could handle two infants and an imprint.

My wolf stood from his chair, pushed it away with his leg as Dr. Cullen removed the wand from me, and Paul used the towel guarding the waist of my pants to clean the gel from my stomach. He tugged my shirt down my torso to cover my bare skin just before he sat by my shoulder. I was quick to roll to my side to rest my head in his lap while I sobbed. I found it hard to catch my breath and he struggled to catch all my tears and brush them away.

His large hand gently made slow soothing circles on my upper back. "I'm sorry, angel." He whispered to me.

"For what?" I quietly wept.

"I should have insisted on wearing condoms."

I shook my head. "Don't say that." I whined through my tears. "I'm not sad because I'm pregnant, I'm sad because they're stuck with me... those poor things..."

"Oh, sweetheart," Paul breathed as he tenderly ran his knuckles over my cheek. "Don't think like that. I'm not going to leave your side for a second when the puppies come."

"Work. Therapy." I reminded him. "You'll need both of those more than ever."

My wolf sighed. "I don't have to work as many hours and I could always take Fridays off. You're right about the therapy though, but we'll make this work. I promise. You've got a nice sized pack with two members that have their own; you'll never have to be alone if you don't want to be. Besides, you know your dad would be with you every waking moment if that's what you wanted, plus your grandparents would love to watch over the boys, same goes for your uncle Riley and Emmett. Don't forget about your mother either. She'll be eager to do all she can for you."

"And my father?"

"He'll be there, but strict rules will have to be made. He's a horrible influence, especially for young boys. I don't want any of his sex talk around them, _ever_."

Despite crying I somehow chuckled. "Good luck! he loves reminiscing about all his sexual conquests, especially with impressionable young minds around."

"Yeah," He said with a nod. "That's exactly what I won't have around my sons. I'll be particularly diligent about this when it comes to our little alpha – he's not going to be some slut, except for when it comes to lotion and tissue paper."

"Been taking notes from my dad, have you?" I questioned and my wolf's cheeks went rosy. Paul wasn't often cute, but he looked pretty damn adorable right now.

"If I may chime in..." Dr. Cullen politely interjected. "Identical twins happen when a single egg is fertilized to create one zygote which then splits into two separate embryos."

Paul furrowed his brows. I was glad I wasn't the only one that didn't understand what the vampire was trying to say. "Sorry, what?" He questioned.

"If the pups are indeed male you'll be having twin alphas." Dr. Cullen's amber eyes brightened and an excited smile crossed his normally expressionless face. "It's exceptionally rare, though many, many, years ago I delivered a set. It was quite the phenomenal experience."

"Oh my god!" A massive grin spread across Paul's lips and he gazed down at me. "We are really fucking good at making puppies!"

"Are we?" I murmured. "Who's the heir to the kingdom?"

My wolf shrugged, though his smile faded none. "I don't know... both of them... who cares?! We're having twin a_lphas_, Ryan!" Was it weird that all I could picture was that one day my wee aliens were going to get into all sorts fights with each other? They're always going to be trying to outdo one another... I could already foresee the holes in the walls and broken lamps.

Regardless of my tears, I smiled and rolled onto my back to rest my head on the pillows. "Can I see the puppies again?" I asked. Dr. Cullen was happy to oblige and Paul took care of covering my pants with the towel and lifting my shirt.

When the puppy came into view I wept, although I wasn't exactly sure why. Maybe it was because this whole situation was utterly impossible. I was guy for crying out loud! I shouldn't be pregnant. Yet, I wouldn't change anything. I couldn't look at my little space peanuts inside me and think I'd be better off without them. I couldn't look at them and wish to never see them again – that was totally unfathomable. I had two tiny people growing inside me that were half Paul, half me, and all perfect. I just... I felt this overwhelming love. It was suffocating, and Paul was a minor blip on the radar in comparison.

As soon as I saw Nahuel Jacob's itsy-bitsy hand with even teenier fingers I knew I'd do anything... be anything for them. Yet, scared didn't even begin to describe what I was feeling. I truly didn't think I'd make a good parent and I could honestly say I didn't want the responsibility. However, seeing my puppies, hearing their heartbeat... I wanted them and I'd do everything in my power to be perfect for them. They were _my_ babies after all, and, yes, they are coming a few decades sooner than I'd prefer, but it wasn't their doing. I'd never condemn them for being accidentally created before I was ready. It was mommy and daddy's fault.

My eyes widened as that last thought struck me hard. "Holy." I breathed and turned my sight to Paul. "I'm a mother now."

My wolf snorted with laugh. "You're a dad; just like me."

I shook my head and I almost felt offended. I wasn't like him at all. "But, I'm carrying the puppies."

"Yeah, but you're still a guy."

"With girl parts." I added.

"A womb hardly counts."

My brows rose. "Hardly counts? I can do the main thing that differentiates a man from a woman! I'm a _mother_!" I don't know why I was insisting, but I guess I felt like the title 'dad' implies that he just sits back and watches everything happen during the pregnancy, whereas a mother means she's the one who carries them... uses her body as a den until the pups are big and strong enough to come out. I'm not saying I'm a 'her'; I'm just saying I want credit where credit is due.

"Okay," He said with a surprised chuckle. "Mother it is." He leaned down and gave my lips a light kiss along with offering up lovingly. "And how are you feeling, mom?"

I flicked my eyes back to the screen; I could tell I was looking at James Edward. There obviously wasn't any noticeable difference between him and his brother. I could just tell... I could feel it. Instinct I suppose. "Very afraid." I honestly remarked.

Paul took my hand in his and held it tightly against his chest. "Everything you said earlier... you know, about not wanting puppies yet..." His eyes fell to his lap and a tortured expression appeared on his face. "If when the twins come and you're not yet ready for the responsibility, you don't have to stay." My jaw dropped and I fervently shook my head no. "Just hear me out – you could go back to the palace, live there for as long as you needed, and visit me and the boys all you like, or we could come to you. Whatever you want I'll do. We could still get married and whenever you're ready you could come back home. I'll wait for you... your family will wait for you."

I quickly requested that Dr. Cullen give us privacy and while he left the room my wolf once again cleaned me up. When I heard the click of the door my face scrunched as I tried to hold back more sobs. "Paulie..." I mewled. "You don't really think that lowly of me, do you?"

His inky brows pinched together. "What? No, angel." He answered, and he hovered over me to give my lips a few sweet kisses. His mouth slid away from mine so he could nuzzle my cheek with his scruffy one and his hand cupped the other side of my face in his palm. "I don't want you to hate me, Ryan." He whispered in confession, pain and anxiety evident in his tone. "I don't want you to feel like I forced you into this. I'll do whatever I need to do to keep you happy through all of this."

"Then stop being so stupid!" I cried in demand. "I'm not going anywhere." I reached up and held his face in my hands so I could guide his lips to mine. I kissed him deeply, passionately, and with all the love I had to offer. I tried to force back the tears, but they still came, and I whimpered into his mouth when I felt the pads of his thumbs wipe them away.

Paul's tongue melded with mine, his lips smooth, plump, and eager to kiss. I tugged him between my legs and his hips immediately began to gyrate against mine – a chuckle escaped me; this is exactly what got us into this mess. "What's so funny?" He mumbled, barely breaking the kiss.

"No matter the situation I can't keep my hands off you."

He nodded and his warm wet mouth went to my neck to nip and suck, though mostly tease. "I want to make love to you." He groaned.

My eyes widened. "Right now?" I gasped.

He nodded, the tip of his nose tickling my neck. "Yes." He murmured as his hand grabbed the waist of my pants by my hip and began to tug. "Roll over."

"No way!" I protested with a laugh.

My wolf caught my gaze and he smiled happily at me, then he proceeded to spoil me by kissing along my jawline and nibbling on my earlobe. "Glad I could make you laugh, angel."

I wrapped my arms around Paul and with a sigh he slid to his side and rested his head on my chest. His legs tangled with mine and I took the opportunity to press a kiss to his coppery skinned forehead. "I promise I won't ever leave, Paul. I definitely never imagined I'd have puppies before I even turned twenty, but we've got the means and I've only got forever to accomplish all I want to do. But, Paulie?"

He tilted his head to look up at me. "Yeah?"

"If something were to ever happen to me-"

"I won't let it." He interrupted with a harsh growl. It didn't deter me any.

"But, _if_, something did I'd want to be changed. I know it's risky, but I wouldn't want to leave a family behind. I'd want to stay with you guys."

My wolf's large hand clenched the front of my shirt. "I'd want the same. I'm never leaving you or my boys."

"We'd lose the imprint." I informed him.

"It doesn't matter. I'd love you all the same." He reached up with his lips and kissed beneath my chin. "You're the _mother_ of my children."

"Paulie?"

"Yeah, sweetheart?"

I sucked in a deep breath. "If I ever die... like permanently."

"Don't, Ryan."

"This needs to be said."

"No it doesn't." He grumped.

"Shut up." I ordered. He clamped his jaw closed and nuzzled his face against my chest to state his sorry. "If I ever die," I began as I placed a hand on his head, my fingers sweeping their way through the short strands of his black hair. "I want you to get the help you need. I don't want you following after me... I want you to mourn the loss of your imprint, but move on, always be there for our puppies, and find another person to love and build a life with."

Paul lifted his head to gaze down at me. "Do you not understand how strong our bond is? That's impossible."

I shook my head in disagreement. "It's not impossible, it's an order."

Shock and pain crossed Paul's face. "Ryan, what the fuck?!" He exclaimed with so much hurt in his tone. "You're making it sound like you're planning on going somewhere!"

"No way, Paul." I said as I grabbed his face in the palms of my hands. His eyes found mine which had finally managed to dry. I gave him a sweet smile and a little peck on the lips. "It's just... we can't be thinking about ourselves anymore, can we?"


	64. Chapter 64

**Chapter Sixty-four  
**

_Point of View: Jacob**  
**_

"Oh god, yeah, suck my fucking cock, Eddie." I couldn't tell if my own words were a demand, a request, or I if was purely begging. It didn't matter because my imprint's lips were tight around my needy shaft which sent little sparks of bliss throughout my body and all the way down to my toes. His silky tongue ran along my length and his juicy lips, slick with venom, were like that of a God's.

My foot slowly pressed down on the break and my left hand tightly gripped the steering wheel as the car came to halt at a red light. I lowered my eyes to my vampire to revel in the sight of him with his beautiful face buried in my crotch. "You love my dick, don't you?" I all but purred while I lost my hand in his wild auburn hair.

"Mhmm..." Edward hummed around my shaft, causing me to shiver in ecstasy just before he pulled the head of my cock from between his lips with a slight, yet arousing popping sound. "Your cum, my prince, _I want it_." Was I sick twisted fuck for getting off on pretending my husband was the adorable and chaste little slave he used to be? If I was, then I wear that badge with pride. It was all his fault anyway. One day, not all that long ago, I was innocently fooling around with the love of my life and he teased me by calling me his prince... turns out my cock loved it. As a matter of fact, his did too; so really, it worked out in the end.

"Fuck, babe, take it. Make me cum." Okay, so I didn't have it in me to call my vampire something degrading, like outright calling him my slave. I know he wouldn't care, but I did. Normally, I could call him whatever I wanted and I really wouldn't think twice about, yet when he had my cock in his mouth, or his in mine, or preferably my ass, I couldn't call him anything other than his perfectly imperfect self. Babe, baby, Ed, Eddie, and Edward all sufficed – I just didn't get off on throwing around derogatory names. Actually, scrap that. I loved getting rammed and him whispering in my ear that I'm his slut. Maybe it didn't bother me because it's true. I'm totally a whore for him, both in mind and body.

I watched slack jawed while his head bobbed up and down as he exuberantly worked my cock with his skillful mouth. "Fuck, Edward;" I breathlessly groaned. "You're so sexy... so fucking hot..."

He moaned with my dick deep in that moist cavern of his as he palmed not only my sensitive balls, but also his cock through his tailored grey wool slacks too. "So close..." I breathed, and a little too roughly I shoved his head down to take me to my hilt. "Shit!" I cried out with my eyes squeezing shut and my fingers clenching in my vampire's hair. He swallowed around me and with a euphoric throb of my cock I came. The silly, though blissed-out noise I made was a cross between a whimper and a moan as I pulsed in my imprint's throat and released my load in short heavenly spurts.

Edward greedily drank every last drop of me and did everything in his power to keep my orgasm from waning, yet as it began to wear thin I released my grip on him and his head rose so his tongue could lick my tip clean. I peeled my eyes open and smiled at my imprint – no man or woman could suck a cock better than him; I'd bet not only the kingdom but my balls on it. A sudden sense of admiration for my husband plucked at my heart strings as he tucked me into my baggy cutoffs. I loved him. I fucking loved this vampire and I'd sooner jump in shark infested waters to feed the fish than see any harm come to him.

A feeling of rage rippled under my skin, which effectively erased any sort of post-orgasmic afterglow I had. I wanted to resurrect James fucking Yorkie so I could kill him myself, then resurrect him for a second time just to kill him again. I've never loathed something as much as I do him. He made my father seem angelic, and the mere thought of that abhorrent bastard is enough to make me puke. James lit my husband on fire. He scarred my imprint for as long as he walks this earth and I plan on that being forever. I wanted to kill him... I wanted to kill him so fucking badly... I wanted to kill him over and over and over until he was at my feet, kissing my toes, and begging for mercy that I'd never give him. I want him to scream louder than my husband ever did, feel more pain than anybody has ever felt. I want to hear him shout to the gods above for forgiveness, I want to see him denied, and I want to see the agony on his face as he realizes he's going to spend an eternity burning in hell. That leech is a lucky son of a bitch; the torture he'll receive in the deepest, darkest, and dirtiest bowels of hell would be nothing compared to what I'd do to him if I could only get my paws on him.

"Hun, it's a green light." Edward softly informed me – I hadn't even noticed that he was sitting upright in his seat and composed himself.

I eased up on the break and stretched out my the knuckles on my left hand that had turned white and ended up sore from gripping the wheel so tightly. However, the troubled expression on my vampire's face that I could see out of the corner of my eye irritated me. "Why do you always have that look on your face when I think about Yorkie?" I asked him.

My husband shrugged and gazed out at the pedestrians and tall buildings through the passenger side window which had tiny rain drops dusting it. "Our puppy would be so hurt if he could hear you thinking like that. James' passing has been especially difficult on him... you know that."

"He'll get over it."

Edward turned his head my way, his golden-eyed gaze practically tugging on my soul. "Will he?" He queried.

I nodded. "Yep. I can see he's coming around. Look at all the boring ass shit he's been attending with us, plus all that other crap he's been doing with you these last few weeks. Things will be back to normal in no time and you'll even have a little minion to do lame royalty type stuff with. He's even been smiling around me – he hasn't done that in ages."

"Yeah, smiling around _you_. When he looks at me he imagines all the different ways I could have killed his friend. He tries not to, but he can't help it."

I rolled my eyes with a sigh. "That's your own fault, Eddie. We both knew that would happen and I was perfectly willing to remove Yorkie from this world myself."

"Yeah, and what good would that have done, Jacob?!" He questioned in an emotional frenzy. "You wouldn't have given James a dignified death and _I_ couldn't live with that sort of guilt. The boy made a dire mistake, but he was only acting like what he was: a newborn. You _know _they can be violent, you _know_ they can be uncontrollable, and you know _very_ fucking well their emotions are erratic."

"Baby, I don't care what I know. Nobody hurts you and gets away with it."

"Yes, but can't you see that you hurt me more than he ever did!" He exclaimed with a sadness in his tone that I couldn't comprehend. He had a way of overreacting. "You put me in the worst situation possible and because of it our son _hates _me! If I had things my way James would be down in purgatory, he'd be able to see friends and his brother, and he'd be rehabilitated!"

I snapped my gaze my husband's way. "Well, thank fucking god you don't have your way, Edward!" I growled.

He shook his head at me. "You're a selfish man, Jacob Black."

"If you're just realizing that now then you're a fool." I angrily retorted.

"Everybody makes mistakes, hun." He sighed, which sounded an awful lot like defeat. "We're the masters of them."

"Except we never lit anybody on fire."

"What do you suppose is the bigger sin, Jake, the scars James Yorkie gave me or the ones you gave Ryan by being absent for the first five years of his life?" My imprint questioned, and he reminded me of a pretentious asshole at the moment. A sexy pretentious asshole, but still an asshole.

"Go to hell, Edward." I hissed in retaliation.

"Sure," He snapped. "I'll meet you there. We'll grab a cup of tea and a biscuit."

I rolled my eyes at my smart ass husband and halted at a red light. With a sigh I turned my head to get a meet Ed's gorgeous amber eyes. "Baby, look at what you did to Eric when he roughed up Paul a bit. If I were burned, what would you do to the guy? Would you let him live and see him rehabilitated?" My vampire shrugged and went back to looking out the window with quite a melancholy air about him. I knew Edward, I fucking _knew_ him, and he would have killed James right there on Paul's front lawn had roles been reversed. I at least let myself calm down a bit before deciding the leech did indeed deserve death. I ordered his execution with a clear head and a clear conscience, so if Eddie wants to go and get all ruffled up because of it, so be it. I don't care.

With an irritated huff Edward pressed the little black button on the armrest of his door to roll down the window. I gazed past him to see what else had gotten on his nerves. Some guy, clearly human and practically still a kid, seventeen at most, was ogling us from the driver's side window of his beat up old Honda. My imprint extended his hand out the window into the drizzly summer rain and the human excitedly reached out to shake it, completely unfazed by my hubby's scars, which is good or he'd feel my wrath... he wouldn't like my wrath. Plus, the guy was hot, and I'd rather imagine what it'd feel like to have my cock in his ass instead of my foot. He had a typical jock look – pouty lips, dirty blonde hair, hazel eyes, and nice round biceps. He was fuckable... very fuckable. I'd fuck him. I'd fuck him so hard. If he had a sister that was just as good looking I'd fuck her too... well, with the exception that my imprint never existed and I was none the wiser.

I sighed to myself. I'd been married for thirteen years and still wasn't used to this monogamous thing. My love for my husband was unquestionable; my eyes may wander, but I'd never stray. I've had dozens of opportunities, and although I've been tempted, I couldn't possibility hurt my man. My heart belonged to him, yet my cock was a little less noble. I'm lucky the thing was attached to me or I'd be in all sorts of trouble.

"Oh my god! I can't believe I just touched the king! It's such an honour, your grace!" The boy's voice was deep and raspy... he'd sound oh so good moaning beneath me. There's nothing, and I mean nothing like the sound of a hetero manly-man begging for you to keep pounding against his prostate so he can cum without so much as giving his dick a single stroke. I've only gotten the luxury a handful of times – it was good, it made me feel powerful and my cock godlike. However, swiping Eddie's v-card has got to be one of the most memorable sexual encounters I've ever had. It was plain vanilla sex, but it was the first time I'd put my dick in something I cared about. I have to admit, even if I could get away with it, I'd pick vanilla sex with my hubby over wild nights with randoms anytime.

Edward donned a friendly smile and chuckled lightly. If I hadn't known he'd been annoyed to open the window I'd think his actions genuine – it perturbed me that he could lie so well and it scared me to think that our whole relationship could be fictitious and I'd never have a single clue about it. I guess that's where trust came into play. Then again, there have been a few times I wondered if it was such a wise idea to lay faith in my vampire.

"I hate to break it to you, but we're just like everybody else." Ed told the guy as he pulled his hand back through the window.

I leaned over my vampire while shaking my head. "My husband's a liar... we're pretty fucking awesome."

"Don't be arrogant." Ed interjected.

I furrowed my brows. "How am I being arrogant? I think you're awesome, you think I'm awesome – we're kinda awesome, babe."

He shook his head. "I never said you were awesome."

I gave my imprint a cheeky grin. "You hardly need to say the word; that blow job you just gave me was worth a thousand of them." My vampire's cheeks drastically paled and a look of fury crossed his face. Too bad for him he was so damn adorable when he was angry with me.

I flicked my eyes to the dude in the car across from us who had a sexy grin on his face – I had the strangest urge to see him all sweaty in a football uniform after a game just so I could watch him strip in the locker room and rub one out in the shower. God, that human was gorgeous. Ed shot an angry glare my way. "Not nearly as gorgeous as you though." I insisted with a cheeky grin.

"He's, like, twelve." Edward bitterly remarked.

I shook my head and let out of huff of breath. The kid looked way older than twelve. "Then I suggest you call the police because he's driving a fucking car!"

With a slight growl Ed snapped his unamused gaze to the boy whose smile immediately faded when he caught my husbands angry glare. Oh dear, I felt sorry for him now. "You queer?" _Really_ bad for him.

The dude's eyes widened and he shook his head. "No, your grace. I like girls." That was probably his only saving grace at this point. If he'd said yes I do believe my imprint would have had his balls on a silver platter – he can be such a jealous boy.

Before my hubby could say anything else I slapped a hand over his mouth and grinned widely at the kid. "Got a girlfriend?" I asked. The lights had turned green, we were holding up traffic, and cars were honking behind us, but I didn't want the guy driving off thinking we were weirdos.

Again he shook his head. "No, your majesty."

"Ah, well, no shit! Look at that hunk of junk you're driving; it's got more rust than it does paint – no pussy is going to get wet over that... all the labia minora in the world will clamp shut at the sight of that beast."

The boy frowned and Ed shoved my hand away from his mouth with a quiet growl. "It's all I can afford." The dude confessed.

"Oh, hmm... did you work hard for it?" I queried.

He nodded with a smile. "You don't even want to know how many lawns I've mowed or paper routes I've done."

"Ever gotten laid?" I questioned with eager curiosity, which caused my vampire to scoff and me to jab a finger between two of his ribs. Reflexively he punched me in the chest, not hard, but hard enough to get his point across. I laughed at him, he hit me again, so I gave him a loving little nuzzle as I eyed the kid and waited for an answer.

"No, but there is a girl I like."

I grinned like a fool. "She hot?"

He grinned right back. "Very."

"So, do you want my ride so you can get all up in that? I know from experience that you can have quite the romp in the back." I inquired as I nodded toward the back seat. Scars or no scars my imprint was beyond sexy bent over with his ass up awaiting penetration and he looked so goddamn delicious with his cheek pressed against the passenger window in the back of this car as I rode him hard and deep. Jesus, I wished sex was food – Ed would have to give it to me constantly.

"You'd let _me_ borrow _your_ car to take her out?" The dude asked in surprise.

I shook my head. "Hell no! You can't take her out in this one night then your scrap metal the next-"

"I hope you remember what happened last time you played Cupid." Edward muttered in interruption. "Both Eric and James would have been better off if you never stuck your nose in their business and tried to hook Lauren up with the alpha."

"Shut up, Eddie. I'm playing pimp, not _Cupid_." I growled under my breath as I held firm to a smile and kept my eyes locked with the fine specimen in his heap of shit. "My car is yours if you want it. My imprint likes collecting them so I won't be missing it." Edward loved cars. I couldn't say why he did, but we had too many and he didn't even drive most of them since they were 'priceless treasures and irreplaceable'. I had my designated cars and this was one of them. I glanced to my husband. "What kind of car is this?"

"Lexus LS 460." I had no clue what that meant. I didn't know the first thing about cars; I could just tell if one was ugly or not... that pretty much went for anything. However, this car was not an ugly one. It wasn't a macho mans car by a long shot, but that wasn't why I was drawn to it. To be entirely honest I just liked this car because the doohickey in between the drivers and passengers seat flipped up so it was easy access to the cock of whoever was driving. It was pretty fucking ingenious.

"So, do you want it?" I asked the dude once again.

"_Want it_?" I think I stunned him stupid.

"Yeah!" I exclaimed as I put the car in park, turned it off, and hopped out of the vehicle, Ed begrudgingly following. Although, behind my car in the distance I saw a wolf stick his head out of his truck window, lay on the horn, and yell for me to get the hell off the road – I doubted very much that he recognized me. I flipped him the bird and hollered for him to shut the fuck up. It was an order. I think he nearly shit himself.

Ed motioned for jock boy to get out of his car and both he and my husband came around to my side. My hubby was dressed to impress which was a nice change from my sweats that he wore for about a fucking year that hung off him like he was wearing a potato sack. Orgasms seemed to make him more chipper – he was still his normal frowny faced self, but I caught him smiling regularly and he began caring about his appearance once our sex life flourished. Now don't get me wrong, I couldn't care less about what my vampire wore, yet, admittedly, I liked seeing him in a tailored pair of slacks that were made just for him and showcased that cute little butt of his. I liked the brown leather belt that rounded his slim waist and the crisp white shirt he donned with the top three buttons left undone for a casual look and a vest over top that pulled everything together. I'd appear such a tool if I ever dressed like that, but my Eddie, no, he was sex on legs, and despite knowing everything that was underneath his clothes I still loved imagining what lay beneath.

His scars dissuaded me none and they became part of my imaginings. I'm a little ashamed to confess that I find the large scar covering the back and side of his neck that reached just below his ear a massive turn on. I always found my mouth gravitating toward it when we were fooling around. I happened to love the feel of my lips against it and the taste of it against my tongue; I loved how he reacted even more – he was sensitive, ridiculously so, and it was always enough to make him shiver in delight. Nobody can fathom my glee when one day, three or so months ago, I pulled my imprint into an embrace after being away for the night and with such a contented moan he melted against me. He could feel where his scars had once been numb and after a year I finally had my husband back. No tomfoolery here, I wept like a fucking baby moments after its birth. I was so incredibly happy for my man, although I can't say I wasn't happy for myself either. My cock had been neglected and he was vying for attention from the most glorious being to have ever graced the earth.

We had sex a whopping total of three times that _long_ twelve months and blow jobs were few and far between. I constantly cheated on my husband; my right hand being my mistress – it was truly what nightmares were made of. I dealt with it though, and I wasn't about to let it become an issue between us. It wasn't his fault that he couldn't get aroused at the time and I don't blame him for not wanting to participate in something that no longer gave him pleasure, though instead made him feel envious. It was a hard idea to swallow that my imprint may never sleep with me ever again. I mean, he was willing to let me fuck him, but I got no pleasure from using him as a vessel to bring me to orgasm; _plus_, it was physically uncomfortable for him. None of this was a turn on and I found myself repulsed by just the thought of using my vampire for my own sexual gratification, which was odd since everybody else I've ever slept with was just that to me... an attractive object to put my cock into. Yet, it was no fun if my hubby wasn't enjoying himself and it was serious boner killing material when the few times I did sleep with him he'd tell me something hurt when it used to make his knees weak and his toes curl. However, I wasn't a very strong willed wolf and I could never deny myself the opportunity to get sucked off when he offered. I never asked, but I never said no either.

Yet, by God's divine intervention he miraculously got his feeling back and I didn't question it. I didn't want to jinx it. I was all too happy to make up for lost time. As much as I told myself that if that were to ever happen I'd fuck my vampire into oblivion the first chance I got, it was the last thing I wanted to do when the opportunity finally presented itself. We made love, the vanilla kind, and I don't believe I've ever taken things so slowly. I swear I just about touched, kissed, and tasted every inch of him, and because it was the first time in a long time that he'd gotten an erection I wanted my man to feel just like that, a _man_.

I think I'd forgotten what it was like to have dick inside me, and I had most certainly forgotten that full and complete feeling my imprint gave me when I gave myself to him like that. I'd missed it, he could tell, and we took our time. So often things tended to be about getting off, but not this time, not at all. I just wanted Edward's body and all the pleasantries that came along with it; I was positive he felt the same. I couldn't say how long we were in bed for, but it was damn well near an entire day. I couldn't get enough of him, I refused to let go or have the pleasure stop. I had been deprived of him for so long that I didn't ever want to let that moment end in fear that it would never happen again. All those hours of lovemaking lead up to one mind blowing climax – I'd never in all my years and sexual escapades experienced an orgasm quite like that. I was a trembling mess of pure bliss and to feel him release his cool seed inside me was just what I needed after being deprived of his body for so long.

Anyway, back to that scar on his neck. It's like a battle wound. I look at it and think he's tough as nails. If he was a wolf he'd be alpha as fuck... although, I'm kind of glad he's not since he'd be one bossy son of a bitch; lord knows I'd still love him with all my might. Also, when he touches me with his hands which also happen to be covered in scars I feel like such a fan girl. I have this bad ass, pain is nothing, sexy motherfucker that I admire more than anybody else on this earth _wanting_ to touch me. I felt so privileged. I do believe he could have anybody he chooses, yet he chose me, he married _me_, and even after all these years I'm still exactly what he wants... Okay, maybe not exactly, but there's enough of me he likes to put up with all the stuff he doesn't.

Now that jock boy was standing beside my husband he looked dull in comparison. He was a handsome guy, but nothing beat my imprint's peachy-pink lips, swimmers build, milky skin, tight ass, big dick, and I suppose his good personality too, although that could be little iffy at times. Yet, that's not the point; the point is Edward was everything I could have ever dreamed of in a mate and I was truly grateful. I hope he knew that.

I tossed the guy the car keys and went straight to my hubby. He was never one for PDA outside our home, so I settled by giving him a peck on the lips and slinging an arm around his shoulders. He smiled at me warmly and I sighed like a lovesick little puppy. "We'll take your car just to get it off the road. Is all your contact information up to date on your insurances papers?" I asked the boy. He barely nodded and placed his keys in Edward's hand. "Papers in the glove box?" I questioned, and he nodded once more. "Awesome, I'll have someone contact you later to have your car brought to you along with the documents for you to sign to have my car transferred into your name."

"Your majesty," The guy breathed. "You don't have to do this."

I tilted my head back as I let out a bark of laughter. "Of course not, dumb ass! I'm king!" I boasted in exclamation and his cheeks went damn near the colour of a beet. "Now, get out of here. Go show off your new ride to your friends... or whatever you kids do nowadays to compare dick sizes." God, I'm fucking old. Thank you sweet baby Jesus in your stupid little manger for not allowing me to age – it's a hell of a blessing.

The dude strode past us to the car which was black on black and reached for the door handle that had shiny silver stuff on it. "Hun, it's chrome." Ed whispered to me.

"I know that." I hissed quietly in reply. I didn't know that.

The boy looked over his shoulder at us. "A thank you doesn't really seem like enough."

I grinned at the kid. "Go get laid tonight. That's all the thanks I need." Ah, it felt good to be me. I was saving the world... one wet cock at a time!

"I'll definitely try." He assured me.

I worried I was beginning to look like the Grinch as my grin widened even further. "No trying, just doing, and don't forget to wrap your junk or you'll be selling that car to make child support payments in nine months time." His cheeks went red once more and he shyly nodded. "Do you have condoms?" He shook his head no. "Are you going to get condoms?"

His blush spread and his neck began to turn pink. "Um..."

I let out a huff of breath and he turned around to face me. "Do you even have money for condoms?" I queried and he gave his head a shake. "What about a date?"

"Not really." He mumbled in embarrassment.

"Fucking hell, kid!" I'd like to think he wasn't as hopeless with chicks as he was with cash. I removed my arm from my vampire and reached for the wallet in my back pocket. "You know that little Italian restaurant off First and Second?" I asked and he said he did, so I continued on. "I have a tab there, my wolves love the food there. I'll have the place informed that you'll be asking to put it on my tab, but for the love of god don't do that in front of the girl." I opened my wallet and handed him a few bills. "Tip big, it'll make you look polite and generous. _However_, if it's a young woman that waits on your table, do _not_ tip too much; you don't want to give your girl the impression that you fancied the waitress. Also, stop at the drug store and get some fucking condoms – don't be all red faced about it either; you're getting laid after all and they're stuck behind a counter. Oh," I passed over another few bills. "Get her flowers, but not roses, that's way too cliche and overdone. If you don't know her favourite flower think about all the clothes you've seen her wear. She's not going to be wearing colours she doesn't like, so a mixed bouquet of all her favourite colours will do just fine." I tapped the money in his hand. "Do the same for your mother, she'll eat that shit up. Though, make sure to give her the flowers a few hours before you plan on heading out, and when you do, ask that your curfew be extended by an hour. She'll say yes to her sweet baby boy."

The dude's thick and masculine brows furrowed as he eyed me with admiration. _Loved it!_ "How do you know so much about girls?"

"He doesn't." Edward muttered under his breath. "_My_ daughter is a testament to that." I didn't at all like the way he said 'my' instead of 'our'.

"Don't listen to my husband." I insisted as I placed my wallet back in my pocket. "He's well beyond his years and has become a crotchety old bastard."

Edward crossed his arms – I'd clearly ticked him off, and he glared at the human. "I suggest you leave." By the tone of his voice I could tell this was clearly not a suggestion, so I don't know why he bothered to use the word.

"Of course, your grace." He politely remarked as he opened the car door. "Sorry if I offended you."

"It wasn't you who offended me." Edward grumped and his heavy gaze fell on me.

I just smiled at my hubby; I hadn't a clue what he was so worked up about, and when the guy was getting in the car I leaned forward to give his perky irresistible ass a slight pinch. He gasped, leaping into the car, and looked back at me with his mouth wide open in shock. "Have a great night, cutie." I shamelessly flirted. Be him straight or not, I just couldn't help myself – it was just my nature to see what I could get.

The kid stared at me wide eyed, and with quite the loud growl my vampire slammed the car door closed. The dude got the message, started the car, and took off without so much as a wave goodbye. I don't blame him, when I caught the look of fury my husband was giving me I wish I had taken off with the guy too. "Get in the car, Jacob." He lowly hissed. I felt it best to be a good boy and do as I was told. On the way to the old Honda I couldn't help but notice all the people who gathered on each side of the road to watch their kings.

"Do you like humiliating me, Jake?!" Edward hollered in a rage while he fiddled with the ignition trying to get the car to start. Traffic was finally flowing and the long line of vehicles behind us was trying to merge into the left lane to get a move on. "Or do you just like testing my limits to see how far I can bend until I snap?"

I shook my head a bit as I hooked up the grey seat belt that matched the dull upholstery and I stared at my beautiful imprint in confusion. "What did I do now?" It was always something with him.

He gazed at me in disbelief as the car came to a loud rumbling start. "You're nothing but a dog." He angrily spat as the car lurched forward through the busy intersection.

I smirked at my handsome vampire. "If I'm nothing but a dog that would make you my bitch." I quipped.

"Rot in hell, Jacob."

I rolled my eyes as I huffed. "I thought we already had a date set. We are getting crumpets or something."

"Biscuits! Tea and fucking biscuits!" He shouted at me. "Do you not listen to a damn word I say?"

I got the impression that he was mad, but I smiled at him anyway. "You're in my head, so you know I do on occasion, but sometimes you're like a nagging wife and I need to tune you out to stay sane."

"You're an asshole."

I rolled my eyes for a second time. "But that's why you love me!" I happily stated.

He shook his head with a sigh of irritation. "I guarantee you that's not it."

"Oh?" I said with curiosity. "Then why do you love me so?"

Eddie glanced my way. "Ever heard of Stockholm Syndrome?" He deadpanned.

I grinned at my gorgeous man. "You're welcome by the way. If it wasn't for the fact that my cock controls ninety percent of my actions I would have never bought you, I'd have never imprinted, and you'd have never gotten the best sex of your life. Don't forget about our horrible babies that give us nothing but grief either – whatever would you do without them?" When I say horrible babies I meant that with all the love and respect in the world. I was _not_ born to be a father. A leader, perhaps. A role model? Nuh-uh. My poor children are so weird.

"I just like being king." He grumbled.

"Annnd the sex!" I teased. "Admit it. You love it."

I little smile perked his lips. "And the sex."

I nodded. "Yeah you do!" I cockily agreed.

Eddie's gorgeous amber eyes slowly manoeuvered their way to mine. "You may have owned me once upon a time, but you, King Jacob Ephraim Black, belong to me." Both my ears and my cock liked the sound of my vampire's words.

I leaned over the center console and nipped possessively at his scarred neck. "Baby, that may be so, but this," I breathily murmured as I palmed the growing bulge between his legs. "Will always be mine."

He flicked on the blinker and did a quick shoulder check before making a right hand turn into a busy mall parking lot. "God, Jacob, I want to feel your body on mine." He breathed.

I smirked at my man as he pulled into the nearest parking stall – I had no fucking clue why we were here. "How about my mouth?" I queried while flicking his belt undone, yet all I received was a disappointed little pout. My smirked evolved into a lascivious grin as the realization of what Edward wanted hit me. "You want my blood, don't you?"

My vampire turned the key to shut off the car's engine and he twisted his body, caught my gaze to show me his darkening eyes, and gave me the most timid and sweetest of nods. Hardly a second passed before my hands were on his cheeks and I was pulling his face to meet mine. I went in for a kiss and I was not disappointed. He had such a funny way of making my heart skip a beat every time his cool lips lingered on mine.

A little awkwardly and without parting lips my imprint crawled his way to my lap as I unbuckled my seat belt. He sat with a leg on either side of me, and what would normally feel cramped in a small space such as this felt wonderful because I was stuck so close to him. His fingers hurriedly unbuttoned his vest, dropping it on the car floor only to be just as rushed with his shirt. He didn't remove it, though he pulled it open and tugged my old shirt that was missing its sleeves from off my back.

Eddie groaned into my mouth when I ran my tongue along his velvety one as he pressed his chest to mine. I revelled in the wintry sensation of his skin – in my mind it was everything a perfect man should feel like... the perfect husband. As much as I vividly pictured sex with just about every attractive person I came across I couldn't imagine ever feeling anything other than the chilly touch of my vampire on my body. He was all I wanted, all I'd ever want, he's the only man that could satisfy me, and he's the only man I've ever yearned for. After fourteen years together, thirteen of them married, the mere sight of him was still enough to make me dizzy with lust, he's still the only person I wanted in my bed night after night to snuggle with me while I slept, and he's still my saving grace, my love and my everything.

I didn't care about his shortcomings. I had too many of my own too count, so I didn't dare judge. He was so undeniably precious to me and I was just so fucking happy to have the man that I married back, both in mind and body. For years it felt like he was missing and an imposter had taken his place, but my Eddie is here now, he loves me, and it feels so good to have him in my arms.

I hugged my hubby close and ran my hands along the miniature hills and valleys of the scars on his back – he still felt just as perfect as he did the first time I ever got to touch him so intimately. Yorkie may have tried to ruin my imprint, but he didn't, not even a little – if anything the flames did Edward good... a little something I'd never say out loud. He was no longer cocky or mean; he still had a temper and could be quite the grump, yet everything about him felt sincere. I no longer worry about him lying or scheming behind my back. Sometimes I felt stupid to so easily trust him after so much of his shit hit the fan, but he's my imprint... if I can't trust him, who can I trust?

Edward's lips suddenly left mine and his forehead fell to my shoulder as he deeply sighed. "Would you consider me a liar if I told you I purposely fail to mention things that I know would upset you?" He queried.

I nuzzled my nose into his sweet smelling hair. "What haven't you told me, Eddie?"

My imprint looked up at me and his dark eyes matched that of a shamed puppy dog. "I'm terrified you're going to leave me when you find out what I've done." His head cocked slightly and his eyes bore into mine as his soft fingers brushed across the russet skin of my chest. "I can't bear the thought of a life without you in it." He whimpered, causing my heart to break for him – nothing as sweet as him should sound so sad.

I lifted his chin up which had been timidly ducked, though he averted his eyes as I did so. "Baby, look at me." Ever so slowly he brought his eyes back to mine and I ran my hands through the sides of his hair before gliding the back of my knuckles along his jawline. "I've told you this once before, I'll say it again. I married you for better or for worse – there's nothing you could do that would ever have the thought of divorce entering my mind. I'd never sacrifice our relationship just because you've angered me. Because, that's what you're worried about, right? Making me mad?"

Edward appeared so pained and torn. I didn't like it one single bit. "Oh, Jacob, you haven't a clue how scared I am of that."

"Whatever it is that you've kept from me, I can't promise I won't get angry with you, but I can promise I'll forgive you." It was true, I would. In a way I didn't really even have a choice in the matter. I'd never leave him. I'd never want to leave him. I love him too much to let him go. He could go on a sexual rampage and bang half the kingdom. I'd obviously be devastated, though ultimately I'd forgive him. I didn't want any other husband but him and I certainly didn't want a wife – not after all these years. I was virtually obsessed with Ed's cock... I just don't think pussy would do it for me anymore.

He nodded, and the sadness in his eyes was unmistakable. "But, hun," He breathed. "I wouldn't be able to forgive you."

Of their own volition my brows pinched together as I tried to make sense of what he said. "Forgive me for what?"

"For how you'll react... It'll cost the life of a young man I love very much."

My thoughts went wild all the potential possibilities of what he could mean. My mind got stuck on only one and I felt panicked. "Did you sleep with this guy?" I was amazed by how calmly I asked this when on the inside I wanted to murder whoever might have touched my imprint. I know I said I'd forgive infidelity, but it made a big alpha wolf like myself want to cry. It sickened me to think someone might have gained pleasure from my vampire's body and there was an ache in my heart when I imagined him making love to someone other than myself. Edward's body has always been mine. He's never had another man and I always thought I'd be the _only_ man.

Ed's face screwed into a look of distaste. "No, god no!" He exclaimed, and his moist and utterly kissable lips met mine. I instantly and possessively growled while my fingers dug into his back as I clung onto him for dear life and my dick grew hard with the urge to show him why he should never stray from me. It was just fact that nobody could fuck him as good as I can. I know his body inside and out, top to bottom, right to left and everything in between. Nobody could make him moan as loud, cum as hard, or leave him revelling in the aftershocks of the perfect orgasm and begging for another one like I do every chance I get – it was as if my body was made to perfectly suit his.

Edward sucked in a deep needless breath through his nose, presumably to indulge in the scent of my arousal since I soon found his cock straining to be freed from his pants. I brushed my hand over it, teasing the tip and he gave a little shudder of enjoyment. That's all it was though, teasing. Now wasn't the time to satiate his desires... it was time to give me answers.

I broke away from the kiss, yet practically purred when he brushed the tips of his scarred fingers through my hair and I smiled when his soft lips gave me a peck on the cheek. "Outside of the laboratory I was raised in you're all I've ever known... you're all I want to know. No man could ever take your place or even come close to it. I won't lie, I've imagined what it'd be like if my life went in a different direction, but with over a decade of marriage under my belt not a single man has caught my eye and made me look twice. You're all I want to see, you're all I want, and being your slave was easily the best thing to have ever happened to me. I'm a very blessed vampire, Jacob. Before the fire I took everything for granted. I claimed to be protecting my babies, but I was being selfish and wanted them all for myself. My scars are a constant reminder of how easily everything can be stripped away. I've always wanted to give Ryan and Rachel the best lives possible, but I've done the complete opposite. I haven't let them live at all. I've come to terms with the fact that I've lost how I used to look, but I can't seem to forgive myself for the way I've sheltered our children. I'm losing Rachel just like I lost Ryan. Maybe I'm slowly getting my puppy back, but my princess is stubborn. If I lose her, I don't think she'll ever come back to me."

"She's just like you, you know." I put in. "She's your mini-me." When I thought of Rachel I felt like a failure. Everything started out so good, yet somewhere along the way everything turned to shit. We've never been close, and when she was just a little girl all she ever wanted was her dad. That's who she wanted to play with, be tucked in by when she slept, and whose voice she wanted to hear when stories were read to her. I don't know what happened or what changed... maybe it was just her and maybe I should have intervened. Actually, I know I should have intervened. Now, I just feel it's best to stay out of it and away from her. I can't decipher what's true and what's fallacy when it comes to her words. I can't stand to watch the way she walks all over my husband. The only thing she hasn't been able to manipulate out of him was her freedom. However, I agreed with Eddie there. She's a princess... a delicate princess who shouldn't be running around the kingdom by herself. Men are pigs – I'm a testament to that – and she's already proved to show a hard time rejecting their advances. I don't want her wandering off with the wrong guy, or any guy for that matter. She's seven. My baby girl is seven and I don't even know how many dudes she's given herself to. It's fucking sick. I don't care that she has the body and mind of an adult, she's still a baby and if I had things my way every piece of shit that calls himself a man that has slept with my daughter would be rotting down in purgatory. They're paedophiles, all of them, and I don't understand how my husband doesn't agree and allowed the creeps go free.

Edward sighed with a nod of his head. "At least when I was a slave I had the sense to listen to my superiors."

I quirked a brow. "Did you now?" I asked in amusement, which made the sweetest of pale blushes whiten my vampire's cheeks.

"Most of the time." He quietly replied.

"God, baby, tell me what you did wrong so we can go home and have angry make up sex." I all but whined with my bottom lip nearly pushed out in a pouting position. My cock was aching in my cut offs for my imprint. Ed blew me less than an hour ago, but ever since he got his feeling back all my dick wanted to do was make up for lost time, and as a matter of face, so did I.

My vampire swallowed back a mouthful of venom; clearly he was not only thirsty but uncomfortable. "It has a lot to do with Rachel. Like I said, I don't want to lose her and we seemed to have found a common interest – that young man I previously mentioned. I love him almost as much as I do our babies and just like he was one of ours too. He's special, really special, and I think Rachel sees that."

I cocked my head as I tried to piece things together in my mind. I didn't seem to have all the puzzle pieces since I was immediately stuck and confused. "Who is he?" I queried.

"A guard I hired, _but _he's not in the books just yet because I know you won't approve."

I furrowed my brows. "Approve of what?"

"_Him_. He's interested in... well, he likes... he tolerates Rachel rather well and during the last few weeks she's been on his mind quite a lot. They have this game they play; at first it concerned me, yet I've come to find it sweet." A little smile donned my vampire's lips, though all I felt was my rage begin to brew. "They're like kids playing house, though perhaps a little more intimate. I let go of her assistant because she favours his help. He's a good influence though, he keeps her grounded. He doesn't allow her to bully him like she did her assistant. She is constantly smiling around him which she rarely ever does. She's been referring to me as 'dad' more and more now as well."

My eyes squinted as I stared at Edward. "Intimate?" I didn't at all like the sound of that word.

He bit his bottom lip, an action that desperately made me want to kiss him. "Well, yes..." His eyes flicked away from me as he looked to be carefully thinking about what to say next. "They're close. I know she talks to him about private matters and he's very good about keeping her confidence. _I've seen them kiss_. He's seems to enjoy helping her get ready for the day which I allow him to do a few hours before you wake each-"

"Whoa whoa whoa!" I exclaimed in interruption. "Go the fuck back, Ed! You've seen them kiss?!"

He reluctantly nodded. "Just little pecks here and there when they think I'm not looking."

"Rachel is a little girl." I growled.

Edward's shoulders slumped. "Hun, I know the situation isn't ideal, but he is truly a gentleman. He's not going to sleep with her; he's the romantic sort, he doesn't want sex without love. Plus, with him around it has kept her eyes off the other guards. She honestly seems rather smitten with the young man."

"And how does the dude feel about our princess?"

"I... I don't know. He thinks good things about her. He finds her attitude amusing and he enjoys her company, but when it comes to his feelings, he's guarded. He's been hurt a few times and he doesn't trust Rachel, which is completely reasonable." Eddie explained. He held each my hands in his and gave them a squeeze. "I've given him the green light, my blessing, if he wants to pursue her. I've never trusted a guard like I do him; he respects her, he understands that she's young, and I know he can protect her better than even you or I put together can. I'm honestly praying she doesn't screw this up because I can't fathom a better man for her. Nobody could treat her as well as I know he can, nor could they love her as much. I know the kind of love he's capable of, and if he could have that for Rachel not an ounce of me would ever have to worry about her – he'd see our baby girl taken care of. I promise you that, Jake."

I sucked in deep breaths to keep calm and my husband helped by running a wintry hand along my overheated cheek. "I trust your judgement." I muttered. I didn't want to, but Ed tended to be a good judge of character. He knew Paul was a ticking time bomb, although I don't think he suspected that his feelings for Ryan were strong enough that even when he blew and reverted back to his old ways that he'd be able to work through it. Half of me always thought Ryan and Paul would end up together, though the other never believed Paul was capable of sustaining a relationship. How does that saying go? It's better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all? I think that's it. That's how I felt about the whole Ryan and Paul situation when they started getting close. It was a huge possibility that my puppy would have had his heart broken, but I was okay with that. I don't know if that makes me a bad father or not. Though, I know my boy is tougher than he looks or acts; he's half me after all. He would have gotten through it. However, there's a royal wedding on the horizon and I couldn't be more excited about it.

As for Rachel, sometimes I questioned her capability to love anything but herself. She's my daughter, I love her and I was protective, but sometimes I had really hard fucking time trying to feel anything more than that. I find myself ignoring her when she talks because too many times she's lied to me. I'm disinterested in her life since she's tried to fuck with mine far too much. I didn't like the thought of a man being intimate with her, be it sexual or otherwise. However, I _did_ like the thought of a good person taking her off my paws. I can admit I've done her no good, I don't know how to get her on the right track and I honestly don't think my husband is any more capable than me. We're suckers for the ones we love, and if a very good someone who just so happens to bear a penis comes along and takes an interest in my daughter, who am I to intervene? Especially if said penis bearing someone can crack a whip behind her and straighten her out.

"What's this guard's name?" I questioned. "I want to meet him. If I like him I won't stick my nose in their business any." I know I just said any men involved with my daughter are paedophiles, but I like to think I'm a reasonable guy. Deep down I know she's grown, I don't want her to be, though I know it's true. The only dudes she's had sex with have only slept with her so they had bragging rights. They get to leave the palace and boast to all their buddies about how they fucked the princess, _my _baby girl. _Fuck them!_ All she gets out of it is a bad reputation, and, you know, maybe I wouldn't care as much as I do if I didn't have to hear people whispering about how my daughter is such a _whore._ I know why she likes sex, hell I'm pretty fucking obsessed with the stuff myself, but the world isn't fair; it isn't the same for men and women – a girl can't get away with sleeping around like a guy can. So, if she finds a decent dude to settle down with that can handle her, I'll be a content wolf.

Edward frowned. I hated when he did that. "Rachel calls him Jay-Jay." What a stupid name. "_But_, I don't think now is quite the right time to meet him."

I rolled my eyes. "I doesn't have to be right _now_. Is he working today? Whenever we get home will be fine... or better yet have him join us for dinner! Is he a leech or a dog?" I almost found myself excited with the prospect of another good guy and friend around. A family could never be too big.

"He's a vampire," My husband reluctantly informed me. "And he's with her as we speak, though I don't think dinner is such a good idea. Jacob, I said you wouldn't approve of him and I meant it." His gaze fell between us and so did his hands.

He unbuttoned his pants, slid down his zipper, and leaned back to pull off each shoe. A smirk donned my lips as I palmed my imprint's erected shaft. "What are doing, trying to distract me with sex?"

Edward nipped my bottom lip as his chilly fingers teased my nipples. "Is it working?" He lasciviously purred.

I groaned in anticipation for pleasure... it was working all too well. "Get on my cock, Eddie."

My vampire smiled crookedly and he looked into my eyes like he was staring directly at my soul. "Is that a demand, _my prince_?" His tone was dripping sex and by the feel of it my cock was dripping with pre-cum. I groaned once more, nodded, and spread my legs so Ed could get between them to remove his pants and fitted maroon boxer briefs that left nothing to the imagination.

He had no patience and only removed his clothes from one leg before straddling my lap once more and aiding with slipping my cutoffs and boxers down my thighs just enough so I was exposed. I pressed my index and middle finger to his lips. He took them into his mouth, his talented tongue wetting them and causing me to moan as I imagined the same sensation on the tip of my cock.

Ed rose to his knees and I manoeuvered my hand between his legs to get his tight little hole good and moist while he did the same with my dick. He gripped my shoulders as he began to lower himself onto me and with my eyes glued to his my hands clenched his hips to help guide him. There was a mix of pleasure and pain on his face when my cock breached his entrance, yet soon enough I knew it would all be pleasure and he'd be a pool of sexy bliss on my lap.

"I love you." He whispered when he reached my hilt and paused to adjust to my length and girth inside him.

I smiled at my vampire and kissed him as if he were something delicate. "I love you too, baby." I glided my hands up his long and toned frame, my fingers grazing over scars along the way, and I pushed his shirt off his shoulders, down his marred arms, and to the floor. "Forever and always." I added. Edward pressed his body to mine, wrapped his arms around my neck while he buried his face in the crook of it, and started to move his hips – I let out an immediate and unexpected hiss of enjoyment. We found a good, slow rhythm in which we rocked our hips together in a drawn out search for the perfect orgasm.

My imprint whimpered against my neck. It was one that sounded an awful lot like pleasure, yet I couldn't deny the sadness I caught in it. "Eddie?" I questioned.

"You can't ever leave me." He murmured. "I'd be nothing without you." I felt bad that despite all my thoughts and reassuring him my imprint still wasn't convinced that I was here to stay.

One of my hands soothingly ran along his back while the other lost itself in his untamed hair. "We'll be doing just this a thousand years from now in our hover car." I looked out the windows, a sheen of sweat layering my skin from the temperature of the vehicle sitting in a hot parking lot, and I almost wished that the people walking by with friends or family would notice us so they could see how much I loved and desired my vampire.

"Promise me that no matter how badly I screw up you'll always want me."

"God, Edward, yes." I breathed. Our rhythm quickened and I had to force my eyes to stay open. My penis was such a happy boy. "Yes yes yes..." I breathily and blissfully whined.

As my imprint panted with quiet little moans escaping past his lips he lifted his head from my shoulder and gazed at me with his coal black eyes. "Would you ever leave me?" I asked him.

"Never." He groaned with his eyes closing, lips parting, and nails digging into the back of my shoulders. "I need this."

"My cock?"

"Yes." He sighed, causing my thrusts to become forceful and all too eager. My husband revelled in it, I revelled in it, and my throbbing member really fucking revelled in the silky tightness of his perfect ass that fit me like a glove.

My heart pounded with excitement in my chest which proved too much for my thirsty vampire. He roughly pushed my face out of his way and he let out a hungry growl before digging his razor sharp teeth into the side of my neck. It stung for a few meager seconds before the endorphin rush took me by storm. He knew well that when it came to my blood I preferred that he take it rather than ask for permission – just like it was for me and sex. As long as it was enjoyable for the both of us we could take whatever we wanted from each other.

My eyes slipped closed and I leaned my head back on the headrest as I reached between us to stroke Ed's cock to the tune of his swallowing while the other held his head in place. I got off on his satisfactory moans and groans with each tasty mouthful of me, and I _really _got off on the fact that _he_ got off on drinking and fucking me at the same time. It was a huge guilty pleasure of mine and I knew it wouldn't take much for Ed and I to end up like Riley and Eric did at one point in time. When Edward and I first wed he only drank from me once a month – it was like that for years. Except as our puppy grew and our vampling did too there was so much more time for fooling around. Also, after the fire the only pleasurable thing my hubby had left was feeding, and there wasn't a chance in hell that I'd deny him.

I wasn't able to cum from it, not when he couldn't enjoy it in that sort of way, but I felt sated by the mere fact that my imprint was enjoying himself when he drank from me, which he tended to do a lot of. It had slowed to only two or three times a week, a far cry from once a month. Most of the time we were having sex, though on occasion we'd snuggle in bed all comfy and warm together while he snacked – I always came since I no longer felt selfish if I did and I always looked forward to it. I knew we were addicted to each other and I knew we'd never stop... maybe slow down, but _never_ stop. Unlike Riley and Eric, we had a controlled addiction. We may need each other in many unconventional ways but our need to take care of the kingdom and our family was far greater. Together we were so much more than just husbands, lovers, best friends, or a vampire and his prey; I was proud of that fact. We'd never let one another go to each others head. He takes care of me and I take care of him – the last thing we'd ever be is toxic for one another.

The sound of Edward's phone ringing muddled my thoughts and distracted us from the pleasure. He tried to pull away to answer it, though I held him firmly in place. I frowned when he pried my fingers off him and pulled his teeth from my neck to lean back and grab the phone from the pocket of his pants. With a pouty frown I watched the blood from my wound trickle down my chest as I listened to him answer the call. "Puppy, what's wrong? Why does it sound like you've been crying?" My brows furrowed and I flicked my eyes to my husband. I strained my ears to hear my son speak, but Ed had the volume very low so it wouldn't hurt his sensitive hears. "What do you mean you're at the hospital?! Are you alright?!" A look of panic appeared on my husband's face, yet I was relieved to see it quickly vanish. "Of course your father and I will come."

After a few moments of silence Edward began shushing him. "Ryan, shh, stop apologizing... I know you're sorry." A sudden burst of serenity crossed my imprint's face. "I love you too, son. I'll see you in a few minutes." With that said he ended the call and lifted himself off my lap to his seat, dragging his pants and underwear along with him. I was not at all enjoying the loss of contact. Children, grown or not, are the biggest goddamn cock blocks of them all.

"What's going on?" I questioned as he hurriedly dressed. I, on the other paw, took my lazy ass time.

He reached for his leather shoes by my feet. "I don't really know, but something has come up between Paul and Ryan, so our pup wants us there. He says they're both perfectly fine, just a little shook up." He explained to me my while tying his shoes.

I handed over his shirt which he threw on and buttoned at lightning speed, which always kind of irked me when he moved so quickly. "Did it sound so important that we couldn't at least cum first?" I inquired.

My vampire glared at me with an incredulous sparkle in his reddening eyes. "I'm not going to screw you in a mall parking lot in some stranger's car when our boy is at the fucking hospital and needs us, Jacob! Have some common sense!" He heatedly exclaimed.

"And, you, _sir_, need some common courtesy!" I snapped right back in reply. "I'm going to have blue balls all damn day – you shouldn't start something you're not willing to finish!"

My beautiful hubby smiled at me. "Put yourself in a 'to go' bag, hun. I'll get you all hot and bothered later, and finish my meal then."

"Fine." I grumped while picking off the dried blood on my chest before tugging on my shirt.

"You better not have that scowl on your face when we see Ryan." He sternly scolded.

I looked to Ed and plastered a big fake grin on my face. "That better?"

He cocked his head and gazed at me in a rather displeased manner. "On second thought, keep the fucking scowl."


	65. Chapter 65

**Chapter Sixty-five  
**

_Point of View: Ryan**  
**_

Paul's warm kisses along my neck woke me up from my nap. The news of the twins, the medical tests, and all the emotion surrounding those two had made me sleepy. Plus, with the ultrasound machine off and my eyes closed I could better picture my puppies wriggling around safe in my womb every time I felt that fluttering feeling in my abdomen. At this point, I wasn't sure what would be more terrifying to have inside of me – a horrendous case of worms or two angelic little lives dependent on me. I may have found myself quickly in love with my pups, though _not_ with everything that came along with them. I honestly wasn't sure if wanted them so badly because I liked the idea of being a mother or if it was Paul's positive opinion that was influencing my thoughts.

I knew I had an obligation to them whether I wanted to be a parent or not, and I certainly knew I _didn't_ want to be. However, I was willing to be because I've seen them, I've felt them move inside me, I've heard their precious hearts beat, and my boys even have names... they're so utterly real and I was so deeply and totally in love. Yet, I still didn't know if Paul's opinion had a way of screwing with my head. I wanted to know if I was so willing to care for them, love them, change everything about myself to be the best _mother_ I could possibly be because my heart was truly in the right place or because I was just that obsessed with Paul that I'd actually do anything to please him. I prayed it was because my heart was in the right place. My wolf had imprinted on me, my body had done the impossible, so these pups were meant to be, weren't they? Perhaps fate always knew I'd be able give Paul what he desired most. A family.

My fiance's soft lips tickled their way up my neck and his hot breath softly blowing against my ear caused goosebumps to rise. "Wake up, mama." I couldn't even begin to describe the sweetness in his tone as he whispered exactly what I'll be in a few short months... what I already felt like. It made my heart swoon and I had no damn clue why. I couldn't shake the feeling of femininity the word 'mother' carried, but I was not at all opposed to it since I knew it to be true. Also, the more I thought about it, the more I came to believe that I'd make a far better mommy than I would a daddy. My puppies were going to be lucky boys – they'd get a mother _and_ a father; both just happened to be male... well, mostly male. According to lab results my estrogen level was only slightly lower than the average female, which I'm happy to blame every single tear on. I'm a boy trying to deal with an overwhelming amount of female hormones; it's like war of the worlds in my body: testosterone vs. estrogen. In the case of my perfect little alien boys, James Edward and Nahuel Jacob, I'm glad that estrogen seems to be winning.

The fact that I was technically a hermaphrodite freaked me out and made me feel weirder than I already was. Yet, at the same time I finally understood why I was the way I was and it made me feel content. It was nice knowing that I wasn't some puny alpha by some genetic failure, but rather the complete opposite. I was kind of miraculous, and if that wasn't an ego boost I didn't know what was. I always hated that I was smaller because I associated it with being feminine. In a funny way I couldn't have been more right. However, the more I pictured the images I saw of my beautiful space peanuts the happier I felt about being me. Although, I was slightly depressed when we got the results of my sperm count. I had zero tadpoles. Nada. I was shooting blanks and I had no idea how to feel about that. It technically didn't matter. Initially I felt like less of an alpha because of it and maybe I even was, but I didn't feel shame because of it. I wasn't sterile, I have eggs, I have two baby alphas in the making, and I've also made Paul one proud daddy. Where was the shame in any of that?

I kept thinking that I should hate myself all the more because my worst nightmare had come true. I'm partly female and I had the chromosomes to prove it. I should be horrified that I have a uterus and all the bits, excluding a vagina, that came with it, but I just wasn't. It was as if I'd been struck with some sort of epiphany and everything finally made sense. I wasn't meant to be some stern and strong alpha; I was meant to be a nurturing and loving one – I was so completely okay with that. It was a relief. I didn't have the urge to try to be something I never felt like I was since I was born to be something completely different, and as of right now I was glad to be different. My wolf was ecstatic despite my ambiguous gender, I had a family brewing in my belly, and I knew if I failed absolutely miserably as a parent I'd have so many people who loved my sons that could fill in the parts where I didn't fit. Being different was more than okay now because it didn't even matter anymore. I had two very important people to worry about and neither of which were me.

I peeled my eyes open and smiled at my wolf who sat in the tacky chair beside the hospital bed I was curled up on. "Your dad just texted me that he's here with your father. Dr. Cullen went to go greet them." He casually informed me.

I nodded with a yawn and stretched out my legs that were covered by a thin blanket. I reached out and guided Paul's face to mine so I could give him a few loving kisses. "I'm scared." I murmured in confession.

He nuzzled me with his scruffy cheek and held my hand. "To tell your parents we've got two beautiful boys on the way?"

I shook my head in response to his question. That was the least of my worries – they'd love me no matter what. I was concerned that my father would find me a letdown, but like what Eric and Paul kept trying to drill into my head, it didn't matter what he or anybody else thought of me. It was my opinion that mattered most and I happened to be quite alright with who I was and what I was capable of at the moment. "Responsibility." I admitted. "I'm not going to run from it, but I'm not ready to embrace it either. I didn't want a puppy so soon, let alone two."

Paul gazed down at me with an unmistakable look of fear in his chocolaty brown eyes. "You wouldn't ever consider aborting our sons would you?"

"Would you let me?" I wouldn't! I'd never! But, my morbid curiosity had gotten the better of me.

He leaned back in his chair, his eyes avoiding me at all costs as he thought deeply about my question. "I couldn't physically stop you..." His eyes suddenly flicked to mine. "But, I'd never forgive you for it."

I slipped off the bed, stood in front of my wolf, and placed his large copper hands on the small bump I was sporting beneath my shirt. "Can you sense your puppies inside me?" I quietly asked.

Paul nodded and strained his neck to gaze up at me. "I swear I've known ever since I put them there. I just couldn't believe it... it was too impossible to believe."

I smiled ever so fondly at my wolf. He was such a good man. When he was upset with me he needed to learn to be a little more tactful – his delivery of speech wasn't the finest, but I knew where his heart lie and I hadn't a single clue as to why I was so lucky to have it. "I hope the twins take after you. I want them to have beautiful dark skin like their daddy." I told him.

Relief flooded his features. "Jesus, Ryan, you fucking scared me!" He exclaimed as he pulled me closer and rounded his arms around my waist and rested his head against my belly. "I thought you might actually be thinking about..." _Killing them_... he couldn't even say the words and I don't blame him. If he felt half of what I do for them he'd be devastated if anything happened to them. Although, I was willing to bet he felt double what I do.

"In five months, maybe even a bit less, we'll be bringing our puppies home. We're a family, Paulie." I was about ready to shit myself with fear, but my wolf clearly loved hearing that sort of thing seeing as he was practically purring as he nuzzled my bump.

I lost my fingers in his inky black hair and sighed to myself. Despite all my aversions things felt serene. "That's my boy!" Well, they did... with the obnoxious sound of my father's loud voice I pulled away from my wolf who stood as my parents entered the room with Dr. Cullen. It was just like my father to make an awkward blow job joke. It wouldn't seem right if he didn't make me blush in someway or another.

His marriage ring hung proudly over the chest of his dark sleeveless t-shirt and he had his arm possessively slung around my dad's shoulders. Of course father had a happy grin on his face like he so often did. "Come here, puppy." I did what was requested of me and went to my father. He let go of his imprint and embraced me with his massive arms. My nose pressed against the front of his shirt; he smelt nice, comforting, like home... my old home.

He tucked a kiss into my hair as he told me he loved me. I was way too old for this, but for once in my life I didn't have the heart to complain about it. I was enjoying myself and the way my daddy made me feel – a title for him I dropped like a hot potato when Paul came back to the palace. It seemed emasculating and especially babyish to be heard calling my father such a thing. Yet, even if I never say it out loud again it didn't change the fact that's who he is and will always be.

I outstretched my arm to reach for my dad to yank him over to us so I could have four perfect arms surrounding me. Just like my father, my dad gave me a kiss. I felt like putty in their hold and admittedly I missed the closeness I used to have with the two of them. I missed all the cuddles with my dad and the snuggles my father would give me when we were in our wolf forms. I missed playing tag in the forest with the two of them and board games on rainy weekends. I missed bonfires on the beach outside the palace and midnight swims in the ocean. I missed making my parents laugh when I'd act silly, and I especially missed teasing my little sister and being teased right back.

It seemed as if all that came to a screeching halt when my wolf came back to me and if I looked at the situation objectively I could understand why my dad felt so threatened. One day we were a perfect family and the next I was nowhere to be found. I love and adore Paul, yet a part of me wish I didn't spend so much time focused on him. I squeezed my eyes shut to hold back tears that I didn't want to cry. It would be so selfish of me to find myself regretting all the time and effort I put into mine and Paul's relationship. I knew my wolf was the only man I'd ever want, I knew he was the one, but I know now I should have listened to my dad. It wouldn't have killed me to take things slow with Paul. If anything it would have been healthier than rushing into everything. I should have taken the time to be a puppy while I still had the chance.

My dad's grip tightened on me and his nose dipped into my hair. "Let those tears fall if that's what you need to do, son." He whispered to me.

I shook my head no. I'd never cry over getting what I wished so hard for. I'd never cry over Paul loving me or sharing a home with him. I'd never cry over our engagement, and from now on I'd never cry over the news we got today. Fate had blessed me. I had so much more than most. Some people live their whole lives trying to get what I've got and they don't even get to the halfway mark. I was in no position to whine. If I didn't think I was ready for the future barrelling my way, then I better get fucking ready. This is how it is. No dwelling. No tears. I'm a big boy now and I can handle this.

First step: right the wrongs I've done. "I'm sorry, dad. After the fire... how I acted-"

"Don't apologize, Ryan." My dad interrupted as he pulled away from me. I was left in only my father's arms and looking in my dad's direction. "Your anger was warranted." He added, his pale face absolutely guilt-stricken. I wasn't entirely sure he should feel guilty over ending the life of someone who marred his body. In fact, I didn't think he should feel guilty at all.

I shook my head once again while removing myself from my father's arms. "Not it wasn't." I shamefully admitted. I took the side of a friend over family and even though if I had been the one giving orders James never would have been executed, it didn't mean my parents did the wrong thing. They just did something I didn't agree with. They're kings... they're entitled to that. Also, if I was going to act this negatively to situations I didn't like or care for, how would I ever manage to be king? I needed to learn how to set aside my personal feelings so I'm able to do what's just. I've got a _long_ way to go.

"I'm sorry, dad." I repeated. James is gone. My family is here. It was finally time to forgive and forget. I had much more important matters that I needed to worry about. My friend death is gone and there is nothing that could be done to change what happened. He'd never be forgotten, but by whose hand that took him from this world would be.

My dad came to me and his cold scarred hands held my cheeks as he gave my forehead a kiss. "My beautiful little man," He murmured. "You know you're forgiven."

I threw my arms around my dad and buried my face deep in the crook of his scarred neck. "I'm so sorry!" I said for a third time, though this time with all the emotion I felt. "I never stopped loving you. Not even a little. I didn't know how to handle everything... I reacted so badly! I'm sorry, dad; I'm so sorry!"

"You reacted just like good friend would." My dad assured, yet I found myself disagreeing and taking a step away from him to catch his eyes and state my objection.

"Stop it! Stop making excuses for me; just tell me I messed up and hurt your feelings!" I pleaded.

"I understood that you were grieving for your friend. It hurt to see you distant yourself from me, but I could empathize." That was not what I was looking for at all. I didn't want to hear that all my crappy actions were warranted. I wanted to hear that I was wrong and through thick and thin I should stick by my dad's side.

"Oh, Eddie..." My father sighed. I turned my head and he caught my gaze. "You broke his fucking heart, pup. You practically ripped it right out of his chest, threw it to the ground, smashed it with your shoe, then spat on it." My eyes widened in surprise – now that was the honesty I was looking for!

I cool hand rested on my shoulder as my dad shook his head in disagreement. "Don't listen to him, Ryan. That's not how it is."

Father angrily strode forward and roughly smacked my dad's hand from me. "Fucking quit that shit, Edward! That's exactly how it is and you goddamn know it! Ryan has left home, he's getting married, you don't need to wipe his fucking ass for him any longer! For Christ's sake he's an alpha; stop coddling him!"

I guiltily glanced over my shoulder at my dad. I didn't mean to start an argument. "Shh." My dad hushed me. "Quit those thoughts. It's not your fault." He wrapped his arms around me so my back was to his chest, though it caused my father to appear enraged.

"No! No no no!" Father shouted while ripping my dad's arms from around me and shoving him away. He painfully gripped my upper arm and dragged me over to Paul which caused a low rumbling growl to erupt from him as he glared heatedly at my father. Our king pushed me toward him and he possessively embraced me while running a soothing hand over where my father had grabbed me – father paid absolutely no mind to my wolf's reaction.

My father pointed toward us as he furiously stared at his husband. "That's how it is from now on. Our son is clearly an adult." That could be disputed. "He will always be our baby, but he's not _a _baby anymore. Treat him like the fucking man he is." That could also be disputed. "It's just demeaning to treat him like anything else." Paul and my father seemed to a have a little something in common. Neither of them knew how to properly talk to their imprint when they were irritated with us.

"I'm not treating him like a baby." Dad hissed. "He's a sensitive wolf."

"So fucking what?!" Father roared. "He's not made of fucking glass! He might be a bit on the smaller side," A bit? He's over a foot taller than me! "But he's all alpha and maybe if you didn't treat him like such a pussy he wouldn't act like one all the time." Okay, I was done with the honesty. Now it was starting to sting – I didn't like what my father thought of me.

"Jacob, shut up!" Dad defensively growled. "You're hurting his feelings."

My father scoffed and looked my way. "Tell your dad I did nothing of the sort."

I flicked my eyes to my dad. "Umm..." I didn't really want to lie. It was pointless anyway.

A strong hand landed on my shoulder and I shifted my eyes back to my father only to find him looking at me in a way I didn't quite recognize. "You want to be just like your old man right?" He expectantly asked me, yet all I could do was gaze up at him absolutely speechless. He suddenly grinned and gave me a nod of his head. "I know you do! We've talked about how you want to be all rough and tough. You should come out with me on one of my hunting trips – we could stay out in the woods for a few nights just the two of us. I'll show you what it's like to be a real wolf. You'll fucking love it!"

"Err, what would we do?" I questioned uncomfortably. I didn't want to say no to my father, but I couldn't really say yes either. Not for a long while at least. I belonged at home with Paul for now.

"Kill shit and stuff our faces!" Father excitedly boasted. His eyes dropped to my stomach. "Looks like you're pretty talented when it comes to the latter."

I furiously blushed, though my wolf furiously growled and pulled me away from my father. "He's pregnant, not a pig, you insolent fuck!" Paul snapped and in unison both my parents cocked their heads and stared at us incredulously – the cat was out of the bag and I didn't at all want it to be like that.

Dr. Cullen took this rare opportunity of silence and pushed away from the door frame where he had patiently waited. He strode across the room and took a seat on the stool by the ultrasound machine. He waved for me to come lie on the bed – it'd be far easier to show my parents my precious little aliens rather than try to explain them. I peeled myself away from Paul and slid onto the bed, yet my wolf insisted on following and treating me like an invalid by lifting up my shirt for me. I think he just wanted to feel useful since he sperminated the hell out of me.

My dad caught my eyes. "Sperminated?" He queried in confusion.

Paul chuckled and kissed the back of my hand. "Did you just think that?" I nodded in reply to his question and I was certain my cheeks were glowing a bright fuchsia.

Seeing as I still had my dad's attention I spoke. "Err, uh, well," Or tried to at least. "I'm pregnant... identical twins, and boys or so we think. I'm quite positive they are. If not everybody is going to make fun of them seeing as their names are James Edward and Nahuel Jacob." I turned my head to look at my father as Dr. Cullen spread the cold gel across my abdomen. If 'what the fuck' was a painting it'd be a portrait of this king's face. "To be honest, father, I'm not really concerned about all that alpha stuff right now. I just want to concentrate on being a good mother." The way my father's mouth opened and closed was much like the gold fish I once had that Cielo fished out of its bowl and ate. It'd be a funny sight if I hadn't made him speechless under impossible circumstances.

I heard the _swish swish swish_ sound of one of my puppy's heartbeats as the doctor pressed the wand to my skin. I smiled as I looked at the monitor. "That's James!" I excitedly informed my parents; neither of which shared my enthusiasm. I pointed at the screen, my smile growing. "Look at his teensy hand; you can see all his itty-bitty fingers!" Gosh, he was so perfect – ten little toes and ten little fingers were all accounted for. I flicked my eyes between my parents. "Isn't he wonderful?" I asked them. My dad appeared paler than any vampire I'd ever seen and father just looked lost in his own thoughts. Paul kicked over the chair at the side of the bed to my father and he immediately fell onto the seat. He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and he scrubbed at his face with his hands as he loudly sighed while he presumably tried to wrap his head around the situation.

"What's going on?" My dad asked the doctor. Followed by Dr. Cullen explaining his theory and turning off the machine after showing off my boys, neither one of my parents looked at all impressed.

"So, what is Ryan? My son or my daughter?" Father questioned.

The doctor inhaled a deep breath. "According to his DNA, it's a fifty/fifty split. He is, technically speaking, neither male nor female-"

"I'm a guy." I interrupted. It was rude, but I felt like I needed to assert how I felt. "I feel like a guy, I'm quite happy with the genitalia I've got, and I don't want to be girl, but I'm no dad; that's Paulie. I'm a mom and that's how I want it to be."

My father rolled his eyes. "Okay, I have a son... sort of." He huffed. My wolf was sitting with me on the bed and I was glad to have him pull me into his arms at just that moment. I was beginning to feel like a really big letdown.

My dad, who most likely heard my thoughts, came over to Paul while motioning for my wolf to get up so they could trade places. Paul looked to me, as if asking permission, and I nodded my head giving it to him. When my dad sunk onto the bed beside me he immediately hugged me too his chest. I didn't fight it because I wanted it. Soon enough I'd be doing this for my own sons and I wouldn't get an opportunity like this again. "Even when you're one-hundred and two I'll still expect cuddles from my puppy." My dad murmured by my ear. "You're always going to be my boy. I don't care what a piece of paper says or that there are puppies in your belly, you're my little man – a uterus and no amount of estrogen is going to change that."

I whimpered as I hugged my dad around his middle. He was telling me exactly what I wanted to hear when I knew on the inside he must be livid. I'd even bet he was plotting all the ways he could kill my fiance for the sole reason being that he barebacked me. "Am I the only one that finds it weird that Paul and I are the same age, yet he's becoming a father whereas, me, a grandparent?" He shook his head and smiled at me. "I'm far too young to be a grandpa." There goes my dad trying to distract me from my thoughts. God bless his good heart and fuck my selfish one all the way to hell.

"And I have far too much cock to be a mother, but look at me now!" I giddily proclaimed. I wasn't quite sure where that came from. I'll blame it on the hormones.

My dad stared at me with a mild look of revulsion in his ruby red eyes. "You are your father's son." He sighed.

The wooden chair squeaked as my father leaned back in it and stared at Dr. Cullen. "So, like, what does Ryan do, shit these suckers out?" He asked, his tone clearly impatient, and my dad shook his head at him. I don't think he appreciated how father phrased that question.

"His cervix is connected to his lower bowel. Although, right now, it's covered with a thin layer of flesh which I believe is there to prevent infection from the waste that passes by. However, I am under the belief that during intercourse the flesh is delicate enough to painlessly tear with enough friction and allows the flow of sperm through. I am certain that after an hour, perhaps even less it regrows. It's really quite fascinating."

My father appeared completely unamused. "Yeah, so he's shitting them out then?"

Dr. Cullen sighed. "Logic would suggest so, your majesty. However, for the sake of our prince I'd like to refer to it as something that sounds a little more dignified."

"Bowels are not meant to be stretched, especially not the size of a newborn puppy." My dad worriedly put in. "What are the dangers?"

"It is likely his body is fully equipped to handle the stress of anally giving birth. Yet, if not, I'm concerned about a perforated bowel, and consequently, sepsis." The doctor explained.

"A cesarean section then." Paul added to the conversation. "Wouldn't that be the safest bet?"

Dr. Cullen nodded. "I was going to suggest just that. I don't think his highness giving birth naturally is worth the added risk."

"Okay..." My father said as he stood. "When are we going to acknowledge the fact that this is a huge fucking security risk? Ryan can't be prancing around in public goddamn pregnant! He's a dude... kinda, and some people aren't going to like that shit. I mean, we can try to keep it under wraps, but the tabloids will eventually get a hold of this information. Besides, we can't really keep heirs a secret." His eyes shifted to his husband. "You can't deny that if the twins make it into this world that they're always going to be in danger."

"What do you mean _if_ they make it into this world?" My wolf defensively growled.

Father put his large hand up as he shook his head. "Just... shut up, Paul." He breathed and he brought his attention back to my dad. "Religious fanatics are going to freak when they get wind of offspring coming from two men. This goes against their beliefs entirely – it'll be a huge blow to the church. Some of those crazy motherfuckers will come after our grandpuppies, not to mention all the other creeps and freaks that will want to get their hands on such a rarity. Guards_ must _be around Ryan at all times, along with alphas once they're born." He glanced to Paul. "Same goes for you. You'll be royalty soon enough and the father of the most prized puppies in the kingdom... someone's gonna wanna kill you."

"But-" I was about to object, but Paul cut me off.

"Angel, Jake's right. This changes everything." I frowned at this revelation. Things weren't perfect before, yet I didn't want them to change. I hated the idea of a bunch of people in my home whose job it is to stand there and watch me. I couldn't help but sigh in discontent. I'd feel obligated to play host. It's got to be so boring standing there all day... Nonetheless, I nodded in agreement. I'd do anything to keep my little peanuts safe. "Good." Paul said and he turned his attention back to my parents. "Can you spare guards as soon as tonight or should me and Ryan plan on staying at the palace until things get organized?"

My dad nodded for my wolf to come back over to trade places with him. "I'll have guards sent over to your house this evening – no need to keep you two away from home. Ryan should be where he's comfortable anyway."

Paul took his place beside me, his hands instantly coming to touch me. The mechanical hospital bed was propped upright in a sitting position, so my wolf easily tugged me between his legs with my back to his chest. He reached under my shirt to rest his hands on my small bump; he wanted to be close to our aliens and for some odd reason I was struck with the most intense feeling of love for him along with the little buns I had cooking in the oven. I had never in all my life felt as close to Paul as I did in this moment. We had created life and regardless of the fact that we aren't even married, he's family now.

I felt proud of all we achieved over the last three years. When he returned I would have never thought that in just over one thousand days we'd be having puppies together. My wolf had become so utterly perfect, and it scared me to think that at anytime something might trigger him to stop moving forward and instead start moving in reverse. Even with all the help in the world I couldn't raise our boys without him, but I trusted him. I trusted he wouldn't abandon me or the pups; I didn't even think he was capable of it. I trusted that if bad thoughts began entering his mind he'd tell me and we'd sort it all out. I trusted that he understood that now more than ever, I needed him.

Paul's warm lips found the back of my neck and he whispered to me that he loved me. The tears came gushing, and I know I'd just said I wouldn't cry over this stuff, but they weren't tears of sadness, though rather, _happiness_. This wasn't at all what I wanted for myself, yet I was prepared to make the best of it and look at it from all angles. I had the most perfect hands on my belly that were itching to touch two little creatures we'd created together that not a single word in the English language could describe their beauty or perfection. I was a haughty mama and I cared what no one else thought of my babies. I knew they were special, I knew how entrancingly wonderful they are, and I knew they were exactly what the world needed. I believed they'd grow to be something so entirely amazing that the whole kingdom would admire them. I believed they'd do great, world changing things. I also believed I'd eventually be in for a rude awakening once my boys became teenagers. Though, for now, I choose to live in a fairytale.

"Eddie?" My father piped up. "Can I talk to you out in the hall for a minute?"

My dad nodded, though leaned over to me to place a chilly kiss on the forehead. "As long as you keep your positive outlook you'll be a good... _mother_." It was impossible not to notice how my dad stiffened when he called me what I felt like, a mom. He straightened and ran his icy cold fingertips through my hair. "It's a shame you and your sister had to grow up so fast."

* * *

_Point of View: Jacob_

I slammed the door closed behind Ed and I as we entered the hall. My hands went to my hair to tug at the roots in the hope that a little pain would make me wake up from this nightmare. "Baby, I'm hating this." I very literally whined. I was so far beyond angry that I'd nearly done a full circle and felt maniacally depressed. Next step fury.

"This can't be possible... it just fucking can't!" I growled in distaste while shaking my head. I could handle having a girly-boy for a son and I obviously didn't care that he was gayer than Richard Simmons singing a duet with Elton John in a bathhouse, but my _son_ can't be having puppies. I want him to be a father, not a mother... a man, not a fucking freak!

"Honey," My imprint breathed has reached to my clenched jaw to cup my face in his perfect, yet scarred hands. "I don't like this anymore than you do, but our puppy is not a freak. You know he's always been special."

"Special is just a nice way of saying he's a goddamned freak." I whimpered, and it was so pathetic too. My bottom lip was trembling as I fought with myself. My brain was saying I needed to shed tears over the fact that my son wasn't _really_ my son at all, though my dignity was saying otherwise. I felt like I'd lost him. I've never felt overly proud of Ryan; I've never experienced a time where he's done something that I couldn't help but brag about. I didn't care that I've never felt that pride that men are supposed to feel when they look at their son's – I still loved him. I adored him. I'd do anything for my boy, and I thought allowing him to live on his own, make a life of his own, would toughen him up some, not turn him into a fucking woman!

Edward lost his comforting touch and shoved my face away from him. "Our son is not a woman and he certainly isn't a freak, Jacob!" He defensively snapped with an enraged gleam in his eyes. "I'm seriously appalled by your thoughts. You're not proud of our boy? Look at how maturely he's handling this situation! I think any normal man would lose it if they found out they were pregnant, but he has kept his cool, he understands the seriousness of the situation, he doesn't think he's ready, yet just like the wonderful _man_ he is, he unconditionally loves his pups already. I'm sure he'll make plenty mistakes like every parent does, though I'm also sure he'll be a great mother too – a loving, an adoring, a sweet, caring, sensitive_ mother_."

"_Mother_." I scoffed with a roll of my eyes. "How can you even say that?"

"Because that's what he says he is, Jake! If I had known this was possible I'd have done everything in my power to prevent it from happening. The tabloids will _not _go easy on Ryan, people will say horrible things, and I'm worried it will break his spirit; but our grandpuppies _cannot_ be undone and as much as I hate to say it, we've got to grin and bear it. He doesn't need us making a negative fuss, enough people will do that for us." My hubby pointed to the door. "When we go back in there we are going to gush over how beautiful Ryan's babies looked on the ultrasound, you'll tell him how proud we are of him becoming a _mother_, and I will make sure he knows that we're going to be there every step of the way to help where we are needed. This is what our prince wants to hear, so that is what he'll get."

"It's embarrassing..." I murmured under my breath.

Edward cocked his head and gave me a questioning gaze. "What's embarrassing?"

I sadly frowned. "That I could produce a son like him." Not even a second passed after that statement when I felt the sting of Ed's palm come in abrupt and rough contact with my cheek. My husband was hardly weak and my head whipped painfully to the side as the metallic taste of blood stained my tongue. I was left dumbfounded while holding my bruised cheek as I stared wildly at my imprint wondering why he'd do that to me.

"I can't tolerate that shit, Jake! I wouldn't from a stranger and I especially won't from my puppy's own father! So fucking what if Ryan has a uterus, so fucking what if he can have puppies, and so fucking what if he wants to be called a mother?! Tell me, who the hell are you to say that any of this makes him any less of a man?!" He lividly exclaimed while his furious expression marred his normally breathtaking features. "What would please you, your fucking majesty? Would you be happy if Ryan pursued an abortion? Would that bring you less shame?"

My sore jaw dropped with my eyes widening as I fervently shook my head. "I want our grandpuppies, Eddie. I really fucking want them. I just don't want all the negativity that will follow. Nobody will ever understand Ryan."

"Apparently not even his own father."

"Don't be like that..." I grumbled while ducking my head to hide my eyes from view. It's official, I'm a shit dad. Call the fucking tabloids. We can't all be perfect; so sue me.

"You're exactly right. You are a shit dad," He sternly chastised, yet a look of empathy crossed his handsome face. "But I'm no better... no better at all. We're both pretty shitty dads, hun. Our teenage son is _pregnant_ and engaged to a wolf my age... Christ, don't even get me started on Rachel and all the guys she has 'gotten to know'. I could be wrong, though I tend to think it's what lies in here that matters." He told me as he tapped my chest where my heart beat restlessly beneath. "Or at least I hope so or we're pretty damn doomed. We love our babies more than we love each other and ourselves though, and because of that we are willing to set aside our personal feelings for what is best for them, aren't we?" I nodded obediently and my vampire smiled, which made a little something inside me swell with happiness. "Then, honey, don't be embarrassed that the kingdom won't necessarily think Ryan is what an alpha's son should be like, and don't worry about if people will understand our boy. Ultimately, it's our opinion and all those he loves that matter."

I furrowed my brows. "Couldn't you have just lectured me without beating your poor old hubby?"

"Old?!" My pretty little leech laughed in exclamation. "You don't look a day over nineteen... or twenty." He cocked his head full of boisterous hair as he critically gazed at me. "Hell, maybe even twenty-one. I've never been able to tell what age people appear." He gave me a gorgeous smile that made my knees weak and my dick tingle. "As for hitting you, I've been waiting a good fourteen years for the perfect reason to get you back for time you hit me in the lavatory when I was helping Paul out with the glass in his back... thanks to you know who."

I internally pouted much like a toddler at the mere thought of the prince I used to be. A chilly shudder ran up my spine and I forced those thoughts far from my mind. I pulled the sexy man in front of me close for a much needed distraction. "Kiss me better." I demanded. Like the well behaved bloodsucker that he is, my imprint's lips eagerly found mine. My eyes closed and I sighed into the kiss – there was nothing his lips couldn't fix. Unsettled nerves? Check! Limp dick? Check! It was like magic I tell ya.

I held his cheeks to make sure he couldn't leave me since I was enjoying the taste of his tongue far too much to quit kissing my mate anytime soon. As a matter of fact I also held my hard needy shaft against his waist in the eager anticipation for friction. "I want to fuck." I mumbled against his lips.

His hands squeezed my hips as he ground his stiffening cock against mine. "Horny bastard." He breathed.

I pressed his back up against the wall and molded my body with his. "So horny..." I groaned as I unabashedly dry humped my husband. I continued to hungrily kiss him – his moist lips so utterly delicious and his sweet tongue such a tease. God, I wanted to cum and make him cum.

Edward blindly reached for the doorknob attached to the door beside us. He pushed it open and dragged us into a cramped utility closet. I pulled the string attached to a light bulb above us and he closed the door. He kissed me once again, but it didn't last and I found him with his back to me as he hurriedly unbuckled his belt. He pushed his pants and underwear down his hips to offer up his ass to me. I possessively growled while eyeing such a perfect object to fuck. I was blind to the scars, but not the man, and the man's body was made of absolute unadulterated beauty. If he were the sun, I'd revel in his warmth. Though, if he were a god, I'd worship the motherfucking hell out of him. Actually, I was about to do that anyway.

I quickly exposed myself along with generously wetting my dick with my spit. I had no patience and just wanted to be inside my imprint; luckily for me he could take my cock like a champ and in no time we were fucking like the rabbits I'm sure we were in our past lives. My husband was bent forward, needless breaths coming out in pants, while I reached around to his front and eagerly stroked him so I could guide him to a quick completion.

Ed's hands gripped the dusty shelves ahead of him to keep him steady. "Oh god, Jake, harder! Fuck me harder!" His wish was my command, except I found myself like a deer caught in the headlights as I heard the jiggle of the doorknob as the scuffed up old door opened and my eyes caught those of Paul's.

The wolf stood completely unfazed by the sight before him. "Really?" He scoffed. "You assholes are worrying Ryan; he thought you two might be arguing over him, yet here you both are with your pants around your ankles... _typical_."

"Get out! Get the fuck out!" Edward shouted as his dick fell limp in my hand.

"No." Paul calmly stated. "You get the fuck out and go see your son." What did I say earlier about kids being cock blocks? Now we've got two more of them on the way. Oh joy.

My hubby reached back to try and push me away from him so he could lift his pants up, yet my cock didn't at all want to leave the comfort of Eddie's silky tight ass. I was still hard and raring to go, and Paul standing there, staring at us, somehow added to my excitement. "Wanna watch?" I inquired casually. Edward jolted his head to the side to glare at me with fury and disbelief practically stamped on his forehead. I couldn't help myself, though. I've always had a bit of a thing for the wolf – was it really so bad that I wanted him to get all hot and bothered watching me fuck my mate? Paul gave me a look of disgust. I couldn't count the number of times I've seen that face over all the years I've known the wolf – I was honestly surprised his face wasn't permanently stuck that way.

Rather roughly my husband shoved me away from him and immediately grabbed for his pants to cover himself. Me, on the other paw, took my time. I didn't for a second feel like I had anything to be modest about. In fact, I happened to be rather proud of my cock. It was indeed a thing to be shared and appreciated. But, alas, I'm a married man and it's only for my husband to enjoy. However, I don't feel bad for myself; I feel bad for everybody who won't get the chance to experience it and all its glory.

"Your arrogance is stunning." Eddie hissed at me as we entered the hallway.

I halted and looked his way. "I'm not arrogant. I'm just well aware that I'm king, I'm alpha of all alphas, and not a soul on this planet can fuck any man or woman better than me."

Paul nudged my shoulder and gave me a cocky little smirk. "Want to bet?"

I quirked a brow. "You think _you're_ competition?"

He smugly crossed his arms. "Where are all the puppies you've made with your imprint?... Oh, _right_, you don't have any." He cockily quipped. I growled as I pulled my husband into my arms. In a way, it's probably a good thing Ed and I can't have pups together. At the rate we get down and dirty we'd have way too many oops babies... I still wish it were possible.

Edward gazed up at me with a gentle fondness in his eyes and he shook his head. "No you don't. I'd neuter you with my teeth." Well fuck, that loving look sure didn't match those horrendous words coming from that pretty mouth of his.

The wolf laughed and pointed to the utility closet. "You keep on practising baby making like you do, but I won't hold my breath." He dropped his hand, grabbed his package and gave it a light squeeze. "You don't have balls big enough to impregnate a man." _Cocky fucking prick_...

Ed pinched his brows together in obviously irritation. "Brag all you want, _Paul_," Uh oh, my imprint was getting angry. "But at least my husband won't ever be that thirty something year old guy who knocked up a naive teenage boy." The smile on the wolf's lips instantly fell right off his face with those words spoken.

My hubby released himself from my grip and stalked over to Paul to get right up in his personal space. "You're _fucking_ delusional if you think Ryan is at all ready or wants the life rapidly heading his way. You better pray that in ten years from now your imprint doesn't wake up one day and resent the hell out of the fact that if the older and more mature one in the relationship insisted on wearing condoms this all could have been avoided."

"Preach all you want, Eddie, but at the end of the day you can take your attitude and go fuck yourself with it." Paul defensively retorted while taking a few steps back and toward the door leading to his mate. "Ryan knows his options, and he knows exactly what lengths I'm willing to go to ensure his happiness. My imprint _will_ be taken care of. I can guarantee that." My husband really needs to get his head out of his ass and smell the roses. I'll never understand his underlying discontent with that wolf. Ryan is his fucking imprint after all – there's nothing he wouldn't do for our pup.

Edward snapped his gaze to me. "_I _need to get my head out of my ass? _Hello_, did you completely forget our previous conversation?!" He exclaimed in clear annoyance.

I shrugged. "I remember you beating me like I was nothing but a dog and your hand was a newspaper." I teased while smiling at my beautiful hubby. "Other than that things are a little hazy. Maybe I have a concussion."

Ed rolled his crimson eyes. "I should have hit you with a closed fist. Perhaps I'd have knocked some sense into you."

Paul's jaw dropped. "Edward, you hit your fucking husband?!" His eyes darted to mine. "Has he done that before?" Aww, it was so cute how concerned the sexy wolf was about me.

I slapped on a timid expression and nodded my head as if I felt shamed. "He's been doing it for years." I pitifully muttered.

My vampire came to me, his hands reaching for my face and I flinched like his touch scared me. I could tell he was suppressing an amused smirk as he ran the pad of his thumb along my fading bruise. "Honey, you know it's you who makes me do it. I hate having to hurt you all the time. If you didn't make me so angry..." God, my hubby was so amazing – he even seemed gorgeous as an abusive manipulative prick. Fuck, I loved him.

"I'm sorry." I whimpered.

"You're always sorry, Jacob, but sorry isn't good enough. You know that actions have consequences."

I nodded as if I were a brainwashed puppy. "I know, baby. I understand that I need to be punished."

"If you weren't such a bad dog..." His sentence trailed off as I went in for a kiss. It had gotten to the point where I couldn't pay attention to the words he was saying as I devoured the sight of peachy-pink lips moving as he talked. I needed to taste them... love on them... worship my imprint with a perfect kiss.

His hands slipped to my shoulders as mine lost themselves in the silky strands of his hair. "I'm such a dick." I breathed.

"Mmm," Eddie hummed against my lips. "The _biggest_."

I heard shuffling as Paul must have turned around and headed toward the door his imprint was behind. "You guys sicken me." He grumbled. I listened to the sound of the door opening and closing, but I didn't look, my eyes were closed and all of me was concentrated on making love to my husband with just my lips alone.

No matter how deeply he delved into my brain, I don't think he'd ever understand just how much he meant to me. He was the most intricate and irreplaceable part of my life that I couldn't comprehend my existence without... he was my other, better half. He was so utterly precious to me. Sometimes I get overwhelmed with all the emotions he makes me feel and I find myself awestruck just looking at him. As if it were yesterday I can remember the first time I saw him in that auditorium, on the stage, bare ass naked and scared as fuck. I knew almost instantaneously that I couldn't live without that leech. I had to have him. I had to make him mine. Though, I never could have guessed that would mean putting a gold ring on his pale finger.

Everything I had in life I owed to him. He saved me, the kingdom, and everybody in it. It was because of him that I even had a relationship with my puppy, and I think I take that fact for granted time and time again. I was not a good wolf before he came along, yet he turned me into one. He loved me despite all the reasons he shouldn't. I think I needed to extend some of that understanding he showed me onto my son.

I was never disappointed that he wasn't the son other alphas have. I loved my boy unconditionally, so giving birth to puppies changes nothing about my feelings. I've never been one to care what others think, but this situation terrifies the shit out of me. I don't know how he'll be perceived or if people will be able to take him seriously. He's the heir to the throne and without respect the kingdom will flounder. He'll flounder...

I know my emotions got the better of me. I don't actually think my son is a freak or a woman, yet he's certainly not normal either; he's what Edward said, _special_. I can only hope that everybody else will agree. However, I had the feeling my puppy wouldn't be so lucky. He had his daddy, though. I wasn't going anywhere and I was willing to be the big bad wolf if need be. I'd huff and I'd puff and I'd blow all the ignorant and bigoted fuckers that dare to try and hurt my boy or grandpuppies right down to purgatory for the rest of their miserable lives or eternities.

If you fuck with my son, you fuck with me. Though, word to the wise, I'm not nearly as sweet or forgiving as my puppy is.


	66. Chapter 66

**I don't think I made it obvious in this chapter, but it's taking place on the same day as the previous few.**

* * *

**Chapter Sixty-six  
**

_Point of View: James**  
**_

"Rise and shine!" I jovially announced as I pulled open the princess' lacy white curtains to let in the light of the overcast sky. It was going to be a dreary summer's day, yet I could tell my mood was going to be the complete opposite. Though, that didn't for second change the fact that I was weak. Utterly fucking weak. If I was a misogynist I would say my dick was beginning to invert and is becoming a vagina. Alas, my dick is still a dick and if that wasn't the case I'd only be stronger for it. I've seen the things women push out their hoo-has. I'd pay good money to see _any_ man go through a pregnancy. Truthfully, if I could get pregnant I'd treat dick like the fucking plague. There's no way I'd go near one of those things, not even with a condom or birth control. I could be pumped full of hormones and have my reproductive system rendered obsolete, but you know what? I still wouldn't take the chance. Women are fucking nuts – why would they ever take the risk? Especially since masturbating is so much better than penetrative sex itself... or at least it is in my experience, which isn't a whole hell of a lot. Maybe in a million years or so I'll feel the need to adopt a few kids and pass on my name to keep the Yorkie legacy thriving. Although, this name seems to be more of a blatant curse than a blessing... not sure how I feel about dooming poor innocent children to a life of misery. Paul seems rather intent on having a bunch of little Lahotes, though. Can you imagine the prince as a father? Ha! I'd pay to see that too.

So, as I was saying, I'm a weak man... or maybe I'm just a weak man when it comes to the princess. I wasn't really sure how to feel about it. I didn't love her, I hardly even liked her, yet here I was blithe as can be and utterly fucking content to be in the princess' room just after sunrise at Edward's request. Dare I say that I was actually happy that my pseudo dad was out and about for the day with his husband which meant I had the princess all to myself for just about as long as I could tolerate her for. Though, god strike me down right here on the spot if I wasn't completely out of my mind for keeping up the pretence of marriage with Rachel. I don't know what the hell possessed me to keep playing house with her. Actually, I felt it safe to assume it was an unhealthy amount of desperation for affection that led me to do something so radically stupid.

As much as I wanted to deny it the princess gave me something I desired very much. She was melting the gut-wrenching feeling of loneliness that was frozen so deep inside me. I believed Ryan to be the only one that could reach my innermost depths and soothe the inconsolable forlorn hope that stung like wasps and bit at me with razor sharp teeth. I had this perpetual compulsion to wish for a different life where Ryan loved me more than he could ever love Paul. That fucking prince was my forlorn hope that wouldn't stop attacking me. He was forever on my mind and jealousy rose like bile from a stomach whenever I thought of Paul marrying him. However, when in the princess' company, she had a way of making me forget that Ryan ever existed in the first place.

It wasn't that she filled some niggling void or personified what I wanted in a mate. Truth be told, she was quite the fucking opposite. Like I said, we still played pretend, but our honeymoon phase had long since fizzled and disappeared. We bickered over trivial things like my face being too scruffy and it being itchy when we kissed or how some of her outfits reminded me of what some troubled young ladies wore on the corner of downtown streets when looking for 'dates'. Sorry, but I wasn't going to have my _wife _looking like a harlot and I guess she wasn't going to put up with her _husband_ appearing as if he were a bum. Now, if I could only get Ed to stop making Lady and the Tramp references that would be grand.

I was beginning to trust her, at least to an extent. I trusted her to bullshit me, which I was fairly certain was regularly. I know, however, at times she was being sincere and all I had to do was pay close attention to what she said to be able to decipher what was fact or fiction. Rachel wasn't the equivocal cunt I had believed her to be, but rather a pretty little bird trapped in a cage far too small and pecking at her owner's fingers was her only source of entertainment.

At first I thought the princess needed fixing, but it didn't take me long to realize that she wasn't broken at all. She needed freeing. She was like a rat in a cage, a dog in a kennel, or a cat stuck up a tree with no sexy firefighter to rescue it. Yet, Rachel is a spoiled little bitch, so of course she's eventually going to get what she wants. I'm her sexy firefighter – laughable, I know, but I'm what she gets – she ought to be more careful what she wishes for. Although, I'm not going to coo and coddle her as I try to remove her from that tree so her claws don't scratch me. Instead, I'm going to take my fire hose and blast her right the fuck out of that overgrown weed that sprouts nothing but bitter resentment. She'll land on her feet because all cats do. She'll lick her wounds; I'll pat her head and say something wise like the world is her oyster. I've personally never liked oysters. They had this way of disturbing me and I found that they always left this sick taste in my mouth. Yet, I do suppose that could be said for how I perceive the world as well.

Honestly, that woman was so damn complicated and it's truly a miracle that I don't have stress rashes from trying to figure her out, _but_ she gave me a kind of company Edward, Paul, nor Eric could give me. I felt indebted to Edward, painstakingly guilty when it came to Paul, and as for Eric, well, I wanted to believe I had my big brother back; the one I remembered as a little boy, but I wasn't about to chance it. I wouldn't bet my money on him sticking around or keeping his positive and caring attitude. It was actually scaring me how loved he was making me feel.

Every once in awhile he'd leave Katie and Emily behind at home to come spend the night with me. Most of those hours he spent asleep on the bed that folded out from the couch, yet there was a little something perfect about that and despite being two grown adults we acted like children. More often than not I laid on the bed with him in his wolf form. I let him cuddle me because it helped me reminisce about our past. In the old orphanage we lived in, before his majesty built us a new one, the winters were deadly. We didn't have heat and I always had a terrible time staying warm, but every night Eric curled his big wolfish body around my small human one to blanket me in his warmth. Looking back Lauren must have been just as cold because she was just as human, yet he always chose me. I couldn't fathom why. When I was still human, if Paul had to pick between keeping me or Ryan warm, I'd be left to freeze. It truly boggled my mind to such an extent I couldn't stand it any longer and asked Eric one morning, just a few days ago, why he chose me.

My brother shrugged and tugged his t-shirt over his head after he phased back to his human form. "I never let myself think about it much. You were my _human_ brother and practically a baby still; she was just my imprint." _Just_? "You were... _are_, more important to me than she ever was. We're family. We were all each other had at the time." I didn't mention he was still the only person I truly had. I think he knew that, though.

Anyway, as I was saying, Rachel gives me a kind of company they can't. I had no emotional ties to her and because of that I was able to better relax. I didn't feel obligated to please her by smiling when it was the last thing I wanted to do, nor did I ever feel the need to say stuff that wouldn't offend her. Things were effortless between us and the only thing I had to worry about was her safety. And, as far as I could tell nobody was vying to kill her, which I found a little strange... but whatever.

The room was still dim so I moved to turn on the lamp on her nightstand. The princess hissed as if she were allergic to the light and covered her head with the blankets. "Fuck off, James!" Oh, so we were flirting now? I hated when she played hard to get.

"Such ugly words for such a pretty mouth." I teased while I bent forward to get a good grip on the side of the mattress. "I'm not sure if you heard me before. Rise and fucking shine, bitch!" I exclaimed as I lifted the mattress and watched her fall from the middle of the bed to a heap on the floor. I laughed and she unhappily groaned, so I laughed all the more. I rounded the bed to find her wrestling to get the tangled comforter away from her, yet when she caught sight of me she paused and smirked. That bitch didn't need to say it – I knew she was pleased to see me.

Her hair was in a messy bun at the back of her head with little ringlets of hair framing her face and a loose grey sweater had ridden up her stomach to reveal her navel. She looked unbelievably gorgeous laying there, but I'd never tell her that. I've learnt not to. She didn't need the ego boost; she knew _exactly_ how hot she was. "Ah, my darling, Cruella!" I enthusiastically greeted her as a smug smile donned my lips. When we first started playing pretend she typically called me her prince Charming and on more than one occasion I was tempted to call her my Cinderella. Although, I just couldn't make myself. She was a princess, but _no_ Cinderella. I could sooner see her hitting me upside the head with a glass slipper than wearing one. Also, when she was in a darker mood I could easily imagine her skinning puppies to make a tacky coat out of them. Cruella she is.

"_Beast_..." She hissed up at me. Yeah, so calling her Cruella demoted me to a lesser, not-so-pleasing nickname. However, I often teased her that I was a beast in the sack when she'd refer to me as such. She never called me on my bluff. I was positive she wanted to assume that I was, and I wholeheartedly believed she wanted my dick – I could feel it in my fucking loins... especially when she grabbed my crotch. "I thought I had you locked in the dungeon." She growled; it was funny since she didn't sound threatening whatsoever, but rather so damn cute.

I shook my head and smiled at her winsomely. "Not walls of stone nor bars of steel could keep me from you, my love." I affectionately, though cornily stated.

She gave me a friendly smile. I loved it when she did that. "Are my parents out for the day?" She queried.

I nodded and mischievously smirked. "Get your ass off the floor! We're running away!"

Rachel appeared confused. "Seriously?" She deadpanned.

I happily nodded. "Just for the day."

Her face brightened. "Seriously?!" She exclaimed in excitement. "Just the two of us?!"

"Yes!" I said with a bark of laughter. "So get the fuck up and let's go!" I extended a hand to her which she gladly took and I pulled her up to her small feet. She quickly reached for me and wrapped her lithe arms around my neck to give me a good morning hug. I went to give her a tight embrace, but I had to remind myself that she wasn't as durable as a vampire and I had to be mindful of my strength. There was something I found myself fretting about from time to time: what would happen to the princess if her heart stopped beating? Would she inevitably die one day? I didn't know, and I didn't dare ask Edward.

Rachel held my body to hers and she sighed. "I missed you." She murmured against the cool skin of my neck, tickling me with the warmth of her breath.

I chuckled and ran my fingers along the curve of her spine. "It hasn't even been three whole days since I've seen you last."

"I know..." She whined. "I would have snuck down to visit you, but the last two days I've been with my _dad _and I've actually been tired enough to nap on and off during the night."

I pulled back to look in her eyes and caught sight of a scowl marring her pretty features. I smiled nonetheless. "So, you did it? You took my advice and asked to join your brother on his crusade for righteousness?"

"Yes." Rachel grumbled. "Dad has been helping him with all the legal stuff since father is much too busy with his own affairs to get involved. Dad is so proud that Ryan has taken an interest in the kingdom."

"I bet he's proud of you too."

She nodded. "He is, though it's not like I've done anything except sit there and listen as he explained to me what's going on."

"Trust me," I said with a bit of a mocking smirk. "Silence from you is golden. I'm sure he appreciated your lips ceasing to flap." The princess took a step back and crossed her arms over her front, causing her shirt to slightly raise and give me a peek of her creamy skin by the waist of her dark blue leggings. The neck of her sweater was wide and kept a shoulder exposed – I failed to see a bra strap. I couldn't help but picture what was underneath and less than an arm's length away.

She scoffed, yet beautifully so. "I don't like the way you said that."

I snorted in amusement and chortled to myself. "And I don't like the way, that you, my dear, have a chip the size of the Pacific on your shoulder." When I was just beginning to watch over the princess I wouldn't have dared to speak to her like this – she was my only ticket out of purgatory for a few hours at a time and I wasn't about to shred it to pieces. However, now this just felt like foreplay.

"Yet, you married me anyway." She quipped.

"That I did." I stated with a curt nod of my head. "Although, I now think it should be mandatory to get a psych evaluation before marriage because I was clearly out of my fucking mind for thinking that spending all of eternity with you was somehow a good idea."

Rachel smiled at me like I had just said she was more gorgeous than a dew covered wildflower on a summer's morning. What am I? Made of cheese now? "I love it when you talk to me like that." She told me.

I quirked a blonde brow. "Like what? With honesty?" The princess didn't need people to suck up to her. In fact, she needed the exact opposite. Edward was too focused on trying to please her along with having things his way. He could fill her cage with expensive toys and pretty things, but at the end of the day she was still locked away. Also, taking her out for walks every now and again on a short leash with a choke chain for whenever she pulled didn't count for shit. That's partly why I suggested she get involved with what Ryan and Eric were doing. I thought it would get Rachel out more and help build trust between her and Edward. I didn't think spending some quality time with her brother would hurt her either. I know she misses him; she has said as much. I honestly didn't think she'd give a flying fuck about my opinion and she'd shrug off my advice. It felt good that she proved me wrong.

She came back to me, though this time with her lips to mine – told ya, foreplay. My eyes closed and my hands pulled her close by her hips. She always had a way of tasting perfect and her lips were so seductively sensuous. It was kind of a shame that plenty others have gotten to experience them. I liked to think only I was lucky enough to ever kiss the princess. She wasn't a perfect woman by any means, but I believe somewhere inside her was a good woman. I also believe that good woman inside her liked it when I called her on her bullshit. I wasn't going to allow someone to treat me like yesterday's newspaper, not even a princess, and I think she liked that about me.

Ed could go ahead and be doormat all he wanted, although I vehemently detested when he was. It's like he was just begging for her to treat him like trash. However, a doormat was something I'd never be; not again at least. Looking back, that's exactly what I felt like with Charlie. I let him walk all over my feelings and I swept my suspicions right off the porch. Rachel knew I was better than that now. She knew it'd do her no good if she treated me like she treated her dad. She got what she gave to me and she learnt that well – I think for that very reason I earned her respect.

Sometimes I could sympathize with the princess. Edward was truly overbearing and I've had to tell him to tone it down way too many times. One time I actually got angry with him... I can't remember what he was accusing Rachel of because I was in such a rage, but it was bad enough that he was going through all her drawers and cupboards. He scattered all her shit around, while she cried and insisted she didn't do anything. I know she can throw on the waterworks as easily as I can fake a smile, yet this was just one of those times where I just knew, I could _feel_ that she was being sincere and all Eddie was achieving was the humiliation of his daughter.

The girl had no privacy or freedom to call her own. So, it didn't really surprise me that she rebelled in any way she could. Although, I asked her once why she hadn't run; why hadn't she leaped from her window long ago. I was surprised by her answer. She said she disliked her dad, but she loved him enough not to break his heart.

On occasion Rachel's attitude would really irritate me. She feels sorry for herself, and that's just fine, I feel sorry for me too, but I keep reminding her not to let it get to her or let the things she has no control over turn her bitter. She told me she already was. I promised to be her sugar and sweeten her up – yeah, she's turned me into a corny reckless bastard... I'm loving it. Hell, I lived in purgatory, yet I never wanted to leave. I didn't want his majesty to ever find out about me. I'm going to lose both the princess and Edward when he does, and admittedly I enjoyed thinking about all the ways to make Rachel smile when I got to see her next, along with all the time his grace has spent with me. I didn't want it to end – I dare say this is the happiest I've been since Paul arrived at the palace when I was eighteen. I'm content with how things are. I loved Edward, I loved having my brother back, and I loved being Rachel's guard. I didn't have much, but what I did have, I loved, and that's what really fucking matters.

The princess giggled sweetly into the kiss which caused me to smile. "What's so funny?" I murmured against her lips.

She shook her head and pressed a few light kisses along my jawline. "Just thinking..." She whispered.

"About?" I queried.

She broke away from me and I took her hand and walked us to the bathroom to help get her ready for the day. "You." She mused along the way while gazing in my direction. "This is all so surreal. I've never been out of the palace with a boy before... is this, like, a date?"

I smiled and gave her a kiss on her smooth temple before going to the large storage closet to gather her soaps and towels. "Darling, it can be whatever you want it to be."

She smiled softly in return. "It's a date then." She replied, though a pretty pink tinted her cheeks and she appeared unsure of herself – it was not a look I'd seen on the princess before. "But, a real one as James and Rachel, not pretend husband and wife."

I furrowed my brows, while I placed the towels on a small wooden table by the shower. "I'm risking a lot by taking you out today – the least you could do is _not_ fuck with me for a few hours." I kept my tone friendly, but I felt annoyed that she'd bug me like this.

I opened the large glass door to her stone shower and stepping in I organized her products in the order she liked using them as well as placing a fresh cloth beside them. Though, out of the corner of my I saw the princess sadly frown and shake her head. "I was being serious... I just... well... I..." She stumbled over her words which was very unlike her. I turned to face her, with my head cocked, and catching her emerald eyes I waited for her to continue. "I like playing house with you, don't get me wrong, but I'd prefer it to be real."

"Real?" I questioned, although it sounded like a mere squeak. Rachel strode into the shower, and stuck in my dumbfounded state I let her run a hand down my chest, over the hills and valleys of my abs, and to the hem of my plain white t-shirt. She lifted the cotton and I put up no fuss as she removed it from me. She tossed it outside the shower and did the exact same fucking thing with her own, yet my eyes never faltered and they stayed glued to hers as my hands lusted for her perky breasts in the palms of them.

"I always get what I want."

"I know you do." I breathed.

The princess brushed her silky fingertips over my pecs and up to my broad shoulders. She flattened her palms against them and glided her hands down the length of my pale muscular arms while she seemingly basked in the sight of me. "I want you, James." She said as she flicked my belt buckle undone.

I eyed Rachel with concern. "Be careful, your highness. Don't make me complain to the boss about sexual harassment at the workplace."

She smiled at me and it eased my tense nerves. "I'm making you uncomfortable aren't I?"

"Very." I admitted. A part of me wondered why I didn't want to take advantage of this situation. She'd be an easy lay, and probably a decent one at that, but that wasn't at all what I wanted. I didn't want easy. If I wanted a quick way to get off I'd do it myself. I've never wanted sex just for sex; it's always been about sharing myself with someone I deeply cared about. I wanted to love someone so much, and them me, that the only way to express our feelings for one another was through sex. Maybe it's a corny outlook, but I was going to stick with it.

All the lines got blurry with Charlie. I didn't love him when we started getting physical, yet when I did love him and we finally slept together for the first time I knew it was all wrong. It wasn't at all how imagined sex to be or what it'd feel like. I regret it. I really fucking regret giving my virginity to that vampire. That's probably the most girly thing to say, but it's beyond true. I've only ever wanted to sleep with one person because I know what it meant if there was a higher number. It meant I wasn't good enough. It meant I gave them the most intimate part of me and they could still just walk away. I don't understand that. How can a person take something so private from someone and give something just as special of them self... and just _walk away_?

Charlie was one of my worst nightmares come reality. I gave him everything I had and he walked away like I'd never mattered at all. I just... I can't wrap my mind around that. He said we were _mates_, he said he _loved_ me, but apparently I wasn't enough. Just like I wasn't enough for Ryan. They both left me for something better. When Paul got back I lost all the kisses and snuggles the prince spoiled me with in private. I lost someone to hold close to me as I slept and who held me just as tightly. It felt like one day I had everything and the very next it was stripped away. It was like the social workers taking me away from Eric all over again, except it was Paul taking away Ryan. I felt like I was so easily thrown to the side. I felt forgotten about... I felt abandoned.

I smiled, though. I smiled wide, poked fun at Paul, laughed loudly, and did all I could to help the wolf out. A part of me hated myself for it. Maybe if I just let him be he'd have wasted away and dropped dead. Would I have gotten Ryan then? Am I at least his second choice?... It doesn't matter because I'll never know. It's not in my nature to hurt people... _usually_. I just did what would make Ryan happy and that was giving that wolf of his a swift hard kick in the ass. I don't regret it, not in the least. Paul deserves all the happiness in world and if part of that is marrying the prince and becoming one himself then so be it. I'd grin and bear it because that's what a good friend and brother would do. I'll be Ryan's best man and I'll give an epic fucking speech at the reception that will make the newlyweds blush and the guests laugh. My prince will love it, he'll thank my profusely and even offer me a dance. I'll gladly accept because when would I get another chance to be that close to him? I'll be lucky I can't cry when we dance or else he'd be soggy with tears, but since no tears can be had he'll be none the wiser to my true feelings. I'll be smiling, it'll be contagious and make Ryan smile just as wide. It'll be the best day of his life; I'll do everything in my power to make sure of it. He'll be grateful and imagine himself doing all the same things at my wedding. He'll even talk about it. He'll say he can't wait for me to experience all this and that I need to get out there and meet someone. He won't understand that I _have _met someone. Two someones, actually. Though, neither of them found me to be husband material. At least I know I'm good for a blow job and a jack off session. God, I seriously feel used...

But, you know what? Fuck men! They all suck! I'm a feminist lesbian now and I couldn't be happier! I had a pretty princess' bare breasts less than a foot away from me; what could be any better than that? "Can you cover yourself up?" I requested. Okay, so I wasn't all that amused by her tits. I mean, they were hot and I couldn't really imagine anything tasting better than them, but I've thought similar things about Charlie and Ryan. I also had urges, strong urges, most of them having a lot to do with my dick and her vagina. It was utmost annoying.

"Sorry." Rachel murmured while covering herself with her arms. "You sure you're not queer?"

I laughed and shook my head. "Positive." I assured her. "If it makes you feel any better I really want to screw the hell out of you right now, _but_ as I'm sure you're aware, I'm quite the classy gentleman, and one does not simply _fuck_ a princess."

She gave me a silly grin and kissed me on the cheek. "Wait here." She told me before darting out of the bathroom. You know, I had a feeling she liked me resisting her advances because she did things like this _all the fucking time_. I think she knew I wasn't really rejecting her; I was treating her how a lady should be treated. I respected her body and her privacy. Everything else was fair game.

The princess returned in a skimpy hot pink bikini with her hair down and hanging over her shoulders. She got back in the shower and handed over a black pair of men's swim trunks. "I stole them from my dad just the other day. They should fit you just fine – you two look to be about the same size." I quirked a brow. Well, this was really fucking premeditated. "Put them on. I want to shower with you."

"What, no please?"

She smirked. "It wasn't a request."

I smirked right back and shook my head as I stepped out of the shower. "Have fun washing away all your sins by yourself, Cruella."

I heard her huff indignantly and I suppressed a chuckle of amusement. "_Please_..." She grumbled.

I turned around and met her gaze. "Please what?"

The princess sighed and crossed he arms over her flat stomach. "Please spare me the bullshit and get in the shower so I can ogle you and all your magnificence."

A wide grin spread across my face. "Magnificence, huh?"

Rachel shrugged as if she were bored. "I think you're hot, what of it?"

I chortled quietly to myself and shook my head at her. "Turn around, and _no_ peeking!" I instructed. She shot me a happy smile before turning her back to me and I quickly pulled off my jeans and boxers. I left them strewn across the floor and tugged on the swim trunks while Rachel got the shower going. I stared down and was in absolute awe of them – they were exactly what some old man would wear. Ugh, they even had the uncomfortable and awful netting on the inside of them. This horrible thing was _so_ fucking Edward.

"Can I see yet?" Rachel asked. I told her she could and she quickly turned around to check me out. She giggled at the sight of me and I rolled my dark eyes. "You'd look better without them."

"Darling, I know it's difficult, but try to contain yourself."

She snorted cutely in amusement. "_Please _can you turn on my stereo?" Awe, see, even princess' are trainable. Patience and repetition, that's all it takes. _Lots_ of patience and repetition.

I went over to a large white shelving unit with a few intricately carved cupboard doors. The dustless shelves held her stereo and a bunch of other shit she didn't need. I pressed power, then play, and turned up the volume so she could hear the poppy hogwash over the running water. "That's perfect!" Rachel exclaimed with a smile and waved for me to come over.

When I got close to the shower she excitedly pulled me in and closed the glass door behind us. I had a feeling I could get in a lot of trouble for this, though my reasoning went something along the lines of she'd be wearing the same thing at a pool and so would I, so how is a shower any different? Actually, it was probably the intimacy. She did after all just fling herself at me and pressed not only her mostly naked body to mine, but her lips to mine as well.

I kissed her right on back and even gave her gorgeous ass a squeeze. She squeaked in surprise, though also enjoyment seeing as she granted me permission to kiss her more deeply and taste her tongue against mine. I was but a man with a penis, and sometimes said penis got the better of me. Though, despite my wanton desire for her snatch I gently pushed her away. She didn't take it personally and she took a small step toward me, though only to tug the elastic from my hair.

She placed the elastic around my wrist. "Can I wash your hair?" She queried.

I cocked my head and gazed at her incredulously. "Why?"

Rachel shrugged. "Why not?"

"Well, if you really want to..."

"I do!" She beamed, and as she grabbed her shampoo from the ledge I let the warm water soak me from tip to toe to get my hair good and wet for her. I sighed when she began massaging the shampoo in my hair, though not because it felt good, which it did, but because I was going to end up smelling like a bowl of fruit salad.

I closed my eyes to better enjoy the feeling of her fingers scrubbing my scalp and hair. I relaxed into her touch and found myself smiling. "This is nice." I murmured in enjoyment. "We should do this more often."

"Really?" She queried with enthusiasm.

"Mhmm..." I hummed.

"Turn around, please." She kindly requested and I had no qualms with doing so. From behind me she gently rinsed my hair in the steady stream of water. When she was finished she guided my body so the water was only hitting my front side and a mere few seconds later I heard the sound of her popping open another bottle. She came back to me and I couldn't contain the groan I let out as her hands ran along the tight muscles in my shoulders with a soapy substance. "Like that?" She queried.

I nodded. "Very much."

"Good." The princess just barely whispered while her hands continued to work my tense shoulders. Each one of her hands was like little miracles against my skin and I revelled in the euphoric feel of them. She moved her fingers slowly and took her time letting her hands go lower and lower to find more muscles in need of her touch.

"Beast?"

"Mmm, what, Cruella?"

She sighed, though her hands never stopped moving. "What I said earlier about wanting you..." I was trying to forget that. "I meant it. I don't want to play husband and wife anymore – I want you to be my boyfriend instead."

My eyes shot open and I instantly turned around to gaze at her soggy form while the water washed away the suds from my back. "You want to be my girlfriend?" I dubiously questioned and all she did was nod in reply. "Why?"

Rachel smiled... it _appeared_ genuine and friendly. "How could I not?" She answered with a question of her own. Her emerald eyes caught mine and I felt like I was standing on the middle of some train tracks with a freight train coming full speed ahead as it tooted its horn along the way. It was as if the princess was the train and my frozen guts were seconds away from being splattered all over the ground. I didn't want to be torn all apart. I happened to like things just the way they are. Everything was safe because it was all pretend. Fiction can't hurt me. This fantasy will never break my heart because it's not fucking real.

I love pretending to love her. I love pretending to be her everything and I even love doting on her because she _is_ a princess and she _is _special, plus she's my_ wife_ and that's what good husbands do. "Don't complicate things, Rachel." I pleaded. I didn't want this fantasy to come to an end. I'd miss this... I'd miss _her_. I didn't want to get real emotions all jumbled up into this. Emotions were messy and painful. What the princess and I had, it was perfect. I got kisses, cuddles, smiles, and so much laughter from her. When she was sad she wanted me to hold her, when she was angry she liked how I soothed her, and when she was excited she wanted me to be happy with her. She tried to include me in every bit of her life where she could fit me and I had never felt so loved and adored in my entire life. I didn't feel like the little orphan boy I was around her. I felt like an appreciated man. In the back of my mind I knew everything was fake, but it seemed so I real I didn't even care. The pretty princess along with her dad are the two best things to have ever happened to me. I was truly happy and I'd strive to make her just as happy too. That's what today was supposed to be about.

The princess placed her hand on my bicep. It was an odd thing to notice, but her baby blue nail polish went well with my snowy white skin. "How would it complicate things? The only thing that has to change is our intentions."

"But I don't want _anything_ to change. I really like how things are." I insisted.

"So wouldn't you like them even more if they were real?"

I fervently shook my head. "It's too dangerous."

Rachel furrowed her brows. "Why, because of my father?" She queried.

"No... well, yeah, that too, but people have a knack for breaking my heart."

Her eyes softened and her hands came to rest on my wet chest. "Or maybe you just have a knack for giving something so breakable to the wrong people. Ever thought of that?"

I shook my head for a second time. I seriously hadn't. "Are you saying you're the right person?" I asked.

Say yes. Say yes. _Say fucking yes_. "I don't think I'm the wrong person." A tender smile donned her full rosy lips as her hands came to hold my face like I was something precious to her. "Your head is all messed up, Jay-Jay. A prince could never give you what you need."

My eyes widened. "What about a princess?" I asked. I wanted to kick myself when the lights started flickering and the glass surrounding the shower vibrated. I was anxious, really anxious, and now I was even more anxious because I was overflowing. I figured it was a lot like premature ejaculation – you start to feel a little something neat brewing then all the sudden, _pow_, no self-control, you erupt, and humiliation ensues. There are times when I get a chance to hold it back, but it rarely works, and if it does I'm overly sensitive and easy to trigger.

Her small hands pushed my sopping hair out of my face as she quietly hushed me, although I knew she was speaking to my nerves and like Rachel always did she somehow made them go away completely. The glass stilled, the lights normalized, and I closed my eyes as I revelled in the touch of her thumb stroking soothing circles where her hand lay on my cheek. "I'd give you all the love in the world if you'd only let me." With my eyes closed and my ears listening only to her I knew what she had just said was a rare truth passing her lips. I could tell by the timorous intake of breath before she spoke, the way her heart faltered in her chest as she talked, and how, when the bathroom fell silent and the only thing left to be heard was the running water, her crappy music, and the throb of her blood flowing through her veins, she kissed me.

It took me a few seconds to register that the soft silkiness of her mouth was indeed on the hard stone that made up my lips. She was being so gentle, like butterfly kisses from a mouse or she was actually afraid of the rejection I might impose. If she were Eddie she'd know that I could never refuse one of her kisses. Every time I tasted her lips it reminded me of the kiss she gave me on top of the mountain her dad left us on.

Edward had left us to hunt. We easily tracked down that cougar she was vying for and like a gentleman I caught the princess her meal, but like a lady she shared. When we were finished we laid on a patch of grass on our backs in the shade of some tall yellow cedars while she held my hand. "You can run if you want to." She had randomly said after a few relaxing minutes of listening to the birds sing in the trees above us.

"Huh?" I _ingeniously_ remarked.

She turned her head and so did I. Her emerald eyes met mine and she sighed. "If you don't want to go back to purgatory or risk my father learning of you, _leave_. I won't try to stop you."

"But where would I go?" I queried.

The princess sadly frowned and I had the strangest urge to remove it with a kiss. "Far away from here... somewhere my father will never find you."

I furrowed my brows and shook my head against the grass. "What would you do?"

"What do you mean?"

"What would you do if I was gone? You're going to have all those shitty guards around you twenty-four/seven. At least when I'm here you don't have someone in your room watching you while you fucking sleep, and please don't tell me you'd go running back to Brady. He's not good for you. You ought to find yourself a good guy who'll like you for you. The strange, irritating, and irrational you."

She appeared crestfallen and I hadn't a clue why. "What do you even care about all that?"

I smiled at the little lady. "I'm your guard; I care about every bit of you."

"Because you want or have to?" She questioned.

"A little bit of both."

Rachel let go of my hand so she could roll onto her side and snuggle against mine. I was happy to wrap an arm around her to keep her close. "I don't want my husband to leave me, Jay-Jay." She murmured into my shirt.

"I don't want to leave you either." I honestly told her.

I listened to her swallow, I assumed in discomfort and she squeezed my hand that was resting on my stomach. "You need to go." She whispered so quietly that I contemplated if I had actually heard her at all. "My dad is deluded if he thinks my father won't kill you."

"I gotta live with the consequences of my actions, darling. I'm no coward."

She lifted her head and stared at me with an unreadable expression on her face. "I don't want you to die."

I gave her a reassuring smile and ran my fingers along her cheek and through her velvety hair. "But, your highness, I already have. I'm nothing but an animated corpse."

The princess shook her head. "No you're not." She whined. "You're the same human James Yorkie I've always known. When I was just a little girl you taught me how to tie my shoe laces with the bunny ears and you'd always reach the Oreo cookies from the top shelf of the kitchen cupboard for me so I could sneak a few before dinner. Or how about the night I got my _period_ for the first time? It was late, my parents were away, Ryan was in Paul's room, and you were eating cereal alone in the dining room. I had walked through there, I was scared, I thought I was dying – both my parents and my mother had failed to tell me anything about that sort of thing. You could tell I had been crying and insisted I tell you what was wrong. I was so embarrassed, but I spilled my guts to you anyway and nobody had ever made me feel more normal. I can't imagine the awkward speech dad or father would have given me. Yet, you gave me the facts and didn't make anything seem weird or uncomfortable, though not only that you walked to the nearest open store to get the products I needed. Do you remember what you did when you got back?"

"Yes!" I said with a laugh. Although, I was fighting away a pale vampire blush. I was feeling rather pedo-ish at the moment. Whatever, we all have our vices. "I read through the instructions with you to make sure you understood what to do."

She smiled at me, and what I believed to be sincerely. "You were my hero that night, James."

"I was just trying to do the right thing."

She chortled endearingly and gave my cheek a sweet peck. "Like I said, I thought I was dying, it felt like you saved my life."

I grinned at the princess. "Hopefully I'll get to one-up myself in the near future. I'd like to do something awesome like rescue you from a gang of pirates in the middle of the Red Sea. At first they'll think I'm Jesus coming to smite them for their sins since, you know, fuck boats, it'll be quicker for me to run-"

"Wait, you can walk on water?" She queried.

"Oh yeah, it's really easy. I just don't let the water molecules separate. So, imagine those fucks' faces when they see me coming! The battle will be epic and I'll save you like you're the Peach to my Mario. When you're safe in my arms they'll be thinking I'm Moses since I'll part the Red Sea, let their ship crash to the floor and have the water come tumbling after."

Her brows were raised as she stared down at me. "You've got quite the imagination."

I cocked my head. "Don't you think up fun adventures in that pretty little head of yours?"

Rachel shook said pretty little head no. "It depresses me. I haven't any friends to imagine going on fun trips with. I'll be lucky if my parents ever let me walk along the beach outside the palace by myself."

I smiled at her. It was a loving one. It was exactly how I imagined a husband would look at his wife when she was upset. "That's what I'm here for, Rachel. I'll take you on all sorts of adventures. I'll get you the freedom you deserve."

"Easier said than done." She pitifully sighed. "My parents keep it very well hidden. I have no clue where my freedom is or if it even exists."

"It does, and I'll find it." I firmly insisted. "I promise."

She frowned. "You're not going to run are you?"

I shook my head. "I never even considered it." I owed it to Edward to stay and prove myself. If I took off I'd be the same bad guy that lit him on fire. Plus, I had the very distinct feeling the princess could use an understanding friend... or a pseudo husband. Perhaps both.

"I don't want you to stay if it's at all for me. I'm not worth the risk." Was she forgetting who, or better yet, _what_ she is? Of course the princess was worth the risk.

"Too late." I quipped with a smirk. "I've just made a promise I intend on keeping."

She rolled her beautiful emerald eyes. "Good luck fulfilling that promise when my father removes your head from your body."

I held firm to my smirk. "Yes, well, _anything_ is possible."

The princess huffed and shook her head, yet couldn't hide the grateful smile on her face. "I don't know how Ryan did it." She mused.

"Did what?"

"Manage to not fall for you."

I widely grinned. One would think hearing that would sting, but listening to those words in the sound of her gentle lulling voice while getting the privilege to have my eyes on hers made it seem trivial. "You know, I wonder that myself _all_ the time, but then I think about Paul and it all makes sense."

She gave me an unconvinced expression. "When it comes to Paul, I don't see what all the fuss is about."

It was my turn to roll my eyes and I did so with a snort of incredulity. "I think it has something to do with the fact that he has jet black hair, chiseled copper abs, a face of a god's, an award winning personality, and a cock which mirrors that of a donkey's."

Rachel giggled, which happened to be a small something that I took a lot of pleasure in hearing. "That last part sounds horrifying. I imagine it dangling out of the bottom of his pant leg." She said with a titter and her nose crinkled in disgust.

I laughed at the imagery and how cute the princess could be. "As much as I enjoy talking about the wolf's junk... let's not."

"Oh? Should we talk about yours instead?"

I shook my head. "Nuh-uh, that's not a conversation a princess should be having." That, and if she referred to James Jr. too much I was scared he'd pop up to say hello.

"Do your _princess_ a favour and try _not _to sound like her dad."

I laughed again. "Hey, I'll take that as a compliment! He's kinda cute. He's not really the sort of guy I'm into, but if I was the promiscuous sort he'd definitely be doable."

"You're sick." She hissed.

"But you love me anyway!" I playfully chimed. A funny look came across Rachel's face and the tips of her fingers belonging to her right hand swept along my jawline and down my neck where she fiddled with the collar of my shirt. "You okay?" I asked, and she nodded her head yes, though her pensive expression didn't change any. "Did I make you uncomfortable? Should I not have said that? I know we're just pretending. I don't actually think-" She pressed her index finger to my lips to shut me up and for a second time she shook her head.

"It's nothing like that." Her eyes slipped downward to look at my lips.

I small crooked smile donned my mouth. "Darling, do you want to kiss me?"

Her eyes flicked to mine. "Very badly."

"Well, don't let me stop you." I quietly responded. Right then and there she kissed me in a way I'd never been kissed and it was exactly how she was kissing me here, in the shower, alone in her bathroom, and far from prying eyes and ears.

I relished the way she was half human and in contrast she felt warm. I swore the heat from her breath could melt my lips of ice. She was hesitating, but I was not having any of it. I threaded my fingers through the soaking strands of her hair and pulled her towards me. She couldn't help but comply, mainly because I knew she wanted to, and I was filled with satisfaction when she eagerly pressed her mouth harder against mine. Rachel caught my lower lip between her teeth, tugging at it gently and teasing it with the tip of her tongue. It was as if she were the hunter and I was becoming the hunted – she was going in for the kill, yet I couldn't help but think I'd be better off dead.

The princess' small tender hands stroked their way up and down my bare wet sides which sent signals to all the wrong places. I couldn't take it any longer, and with one of my hands holding her close by her lower back I crushed my lips to hers. The kiss became frantic, desperate even. It was fast and to the point; there was no sense in holding back. I knew she wanted me in more ways than one and I was beginning to think I wanted the same. Her hot lips managed to give my frozen skin chills, her hands made me tingly in only perfect ways, and the sound of her voice always had a way of exciting me. I couldn't deny that I liked this girl. I wanted to, but I couldn't – it had become impossible. As water rained down our bodies an easy rhythm... no, a _natural_ rhythm was set between us. It all became second nature and I couldn't refuse to believe that my instincts were saying those lips of hers should belong to me, that I should be the only one to taste them – I didn't want to share.

With her gentle touch she roamed my body greedily, and for the love of all things holy I would have given my right nut to be able to touch her breasts. I wouldn't give myself such a luxury, yet I didn't at all mind the way she kept pressing herself against me while her warm tongue seductively massaged my colder one. I slightly separated my mouth from hers to let out a moan of pleasure. That caused her to slide her arms around me and pull my body as close to her as she could get it while reclaiming my lips full force. Being drunk with passion I pressed my mouth harder against hers in an effort to show her that it was me leading the way... to where, I wasn't entirely sure.

Once again she sensually flicked her tongue over mine and I had no choice but to do the same. It was simply the only choice – there was no denying or being denied. I'd never found another mouth like this one and I wasn't about to take it for granted, yet her kisses remained dauntless and any sense I had left was quickly dissolving. I needed to stop; if we kept going, whatever was left of my resolve would disappear and be washed down the drain.

I went to pull away, and I meant it too, but somehow I only made the kiss deepen and my hands cling anxiously to her back. I had feelings for this fucked up princess and as much as I told myself they were fake and all pretend, they weren't. In the rush of the moment I tried wishing them away, though I instantly retracted that wish and instead I wished for her to never hurt me if I dared to give this a chance.

She was nothing like I imagined a potential mate to be like. Then again, maybe that's exactly what I needed. I kept trying to find someone perfect and the only thing perfect about the princess was that there was nothing perfect about her. Maybe what I needed was a girl who wasn't afraid to speak her mind, fight dirty for what she wanted, or sneak down to purgatory to spend the night with a boy. I could never contain my excitement when I'd find her entering my room every few nights. Sometimes we'd watch horrible TV movies only to mute the volume and narrate the film ourselves; I don't think anybody has ever made me laugh as hard as she does. Other times we'd play gory video games where she kicked my ass each and every time until I was too frustrated to continue. Then there were the nights where we just kissed and cuddled until it was time for her to go back to her room before her dad came to check on her – was it any surprise that this was my favourite activity?

She was a loving and devoted fake wife. She even brought me flowers that she picked when she went out for a walk with her herd of guards. I had blushed furiously. I didn't know girls did that for guys, but I appreciated the sentiment and was grateful for my powers since with my help they never had to die.

The girl really had too much time on her hands since she actually gave me all sorts of stuff. She had taught herself to quilt, so I had the most amazing one she made for me hung over the back my couch. Rachel even replaced some of the ridiculous clothes Edward got me with ones she made herself. After wearing a pair of jeans made by her I thoroughly refused to wear pants by anybody else – I had never put on something that fit and looked so good. The smug look that donned her pretty face when I told her this was adorable. She was proud and deserved to be; they were amazing. The princess was also a tinkerer. She could fix just about any sort of electronic... unless I accidentally blew it up, then there was just no hope. She had a ton of boxes filled with bits and pieces of scrap metal and she often made me little figurines. They were pretty awesome actually. Most of them were animals, though there were noticeably no wolves. I had a few really neat trees – she made an incredible willow tree that was about three quarters of a foot tall and it was by far my favourite of all the figurines.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I hope this would be the lady that would be my girlfriend if I chose to go this route. Except, with everything considered would it be fair to her? Her father _will _find out about me. It's not a question of _if_, it's a question of _when_. It's impossible to say what his majesty will do. Maybe he'll rid the earth of me or maybe something miraculous will happen and he'll let me keep seeing his daughter. Though, something tells me there's a 99.99% chance that the day he finds out about me is the day I stop existing. It's a shame really. Most of my life I wouldn't have cared much if I dropped dead on the spot, but I can honestly say I don't wanna go – I'd much rather stick around so I can keep kissing this princess.

"Mmm," Rachel hummed against my lips as she slipped her hand under the waistband of my swim trunks. "You're _so_ hard." And I was, it was practically a lethal weapon at this point.

I ripped my mouth away from hers and stared wide eyes into her pretty emerald ones. "Don't make me scream rape." I playfully threatened.

The princess blushed and removed her hand from my shorts. "Sorry." She murmured.

I quirked a brow. "Are you really?"

She smirked and shook her head. "No."

"Rachel..." I sighed, changing the subject. I lifted my hands to tuck the long strands of her wet hair behind her ears so I could better see her face. "I want you as well." I confessed, which immediately made her eyes widen and the most beautiful grin to spread across her face. "But, like, not in an your pants sort of way. I mean, I _want_ that, but I'm not going to _do_ that... yet. Or ever. Who knows?! I don't! We'll see. The sex isn't up to you. Fuck, it is! It your choice! It's both of ours, so you can say no! I'm not a raping creep. I think. You _are_ seven. You're smokin' hot though, but totally _not_ in an I think kids are sexy kinda way. You look legal to bang is what I'm saying." Jesus Christ, that was a fucking massacre! I butchered the shit out of that! I'd punch myself in the goddamn face if it wouldn't make me look even worse. "Aw, fucking hell, I just mean it's up to you if we should be together, and you should know sex is the last thing I'm concerned about. It's not what I'm looking for and I'd like to avoid the topic all together for awhile. But, yeah, you said you want me. Did you change your mind?" Smooth, James, _really fucking smooth_.

Her smile didn't falter any, but she had this funny sparkle in her eye as she gazed at me. I think she thought I was so stupid I was cute. "James Yorkie, am I making you nervous?" She questioned.

My cheeks paled. "No, what would make you think that?" Ignorance is bliss they say.

She shook her head at me with a slight and amused huff of breath. "Tell me, do you really want to be my man?" She inquired.

I nodded. I was either out of my mind or... no, I was out of my fucking mind. "Only if you want to my little lady."

A burst of excited bubbly laughter erupted from her and she threw her arms around me. "Yes!" She exclaimed. "Yes yes yes!" She hugged me tightly and kissed her way up my cool neck to my even cooler lips. "I'm going to make you the happiest man, Jay-Jay, alive or undead."

"Just call me Jay." I said with a chuckle. "Jay-Jay is beginning to sound like a mouthful."

She looked at me precariously. "You sure?"

"Yeah," I smiled with nod. "It sounds good when you say it." Rachel gave me a cutesy grin before giving my lips a peck and laying her head on my shoulder. "Can you promise me that what you said is the truth?" Was it bad that I was already doubting the stability of our relationship that has lasted only, oh, a minute, a minute and a half, so far?

"That I'll make you happy?"

"Yes."

The princess nodded her head against me. "I promise." She lifted her head and caught my gaze. "We're going to have such an amazing life together! I can picture you changing diapers already! Oh, you'd be such an adorable daddy pushing a stroller! How many kids do you want? Boys or girls? Have you thought about names? I want at least six. Three girls and three boys."_ Say whaaat?_

I stared at the women with what I was sure to be a horrified expression on my face. "Umm..." Too fast! She's moving way too fucking fast! Reverse reverse reverse! Abort! Abort!

"What do you think about breast feeding?" Rachel asked me completely straight faced. Could she even have kids of her own? I didn't know. Maybe so since Aunt Flow visits her often.

She suddenly frowned. "I heard it makes your nipples tough." Oh dear, oh dear fucking god, what have I done? "When should we start trying?" Holy baby Jesus in a manger, she wants my sperm! "This year? Next?"

"Uh..." That was the most intelligent answer I could give the crazy ass princess as I slowly peeled myself away from her.

"You want babies, don't you?" Her eyes narrowed in on mine which caused me to cringe in discomfort. "_Don't you_?" She growled. I backed up toward the glass door of the shower and I was just about ready to make a break for it when her expression instantly changed into one of pure amusement as she let out a bark of girly laughter and pointed at me from where she stood under the warm spray of the water. "You should have seen your face, Jay! Priceless! So priceless!"

"Fucking bitch!" I hissed while I took two large strides forward and pulled her back into my arms as she continued guffawing so hard she had tears brewing in the corners of her eyes. "You scared the shit out of me..." I grumbled.

"I know!" She breathlessly exclaimed. "It's practically all over the floor!"

"Bitch..." I hissed again, although this time with a bit of my own laughter. "I was two damn seconds away from dumping you!"

Rachel's laughter calmed and she gave my mouth a warm apologetic kiss. "Sorry, I couldn't help myself."

"Whatever..." I sighed in pretend annoyance. "Now you've got me curious. Can you actually have kids?

"Oh yeah!" She answered with a happy nod. "Doctors took a bunch of my eggs once I hit puberty. Human sperm isn't strong enough to penetrate the egg. Wolves are completely incompatible – it would be like a dog and a cat trying to breed, it's never going to happen. As for vampire sperm, it easily fertilized the eggs."

I furrowed my brows. "What happened to the fertilized eggs?"

She shrugged in my arms. "I guess they were trashed after a certain amount of time." I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with that idea. "I try not to think about it to be honest." I didn't at all blame her. It seemed a little... _morally uncomfortable_. I could see the reason for it, but that didn't mean I had to like it.

"Do you have condoms?" I questioned.

She smirked as she caught my eyes. "If I say yes does that mean I'm getting laid?"

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "Not a chance, but if the day arrives where I can't seem to keep my dick in my pants and you'd love to get to know it, I want to have those handy." I like taking risks from time to time, yet that would never be one of them. I certainly wasn't planning on sex, though stupid exceptions can always be made when in the heat of the moment. I wasn't about to let me have sex without protection if I've gone and lost my head and replaced it with the smaller one between my legs. That's a recipe for disaster and eighteen years of child support payments.

"Would you be surprised if I told you my dad gave me a twelve pack a few days after our hunting trip on the mountain?"

"Tell me he didn't..." I breathed.

Rachel laughed. "Oh, he did alright!" She revealed in exclamation. "He said he didn't think you would sleep with me, but he wanted me to have them just in case you had a change of heart and couldn't resist my cooch."

I cocked my head. "Yeah, I'm sure he said _just _that."

"He did!" The princess said as she leaned back and crossed her heart with her index finger.

I bent forward to capture her lips with a kiss. "Fibber." I mumbled against her mouth.

"Mmm, yeah..." She hummed while her arms wrapped around my neck while losing her slim fingertips in my soggy hair. The kiss dwindled and I found myself holding her as she held me right back while gently playing with my hair. For some reason the longer we stood there in silence with our bodies pressed together under the spray of the water the more intimate it felt. We were no longer sharing a kiss, but rather a moment – it seriously scared me. It was as if I'd decided we were actually going to have sex and forfeit the condom to go bare. It felt fucking great, but we weren't playing safe anymore. God only knows the kinda hurt she could give me and the world of responsibility I'd just put on her. She had something precious that belonged to me. She could make it swell or break it to bits. It was her choice and I'd just have to trust her to do the right thing.


	67. Chapter 67

**THIS CHAPTER WAS NOT EDITED! I'm sorry, I'm a lazy writer, so please excuse any horrid mistakes you will more than likely embark upon!  
**

* * *

**Chapter Sixty-seven  
**

_Point of View: James**  
**_

I stalked silently through the damp, drizzly, and foggy forest in search of my little lady. I didn't breathe... I didn't even blink as I held tightly to the canvas satchel at my side. It was slung over my shoulder and across my chest so no rustling could be heard on my part. The snap of a twig had my body whipping around in the opposite direction. I squinted my eyes as I stared through the fog and past dozens of large mossy tree trunks as far as my eyes could see while I strained my ears to find what I could hear. The only noise left to be heard was the sound of cawing crows in the distance and the minute raindrops splattering against leafs and pine needles. I crouched to better conceal myself in the low lying mist. One hand dipped into my bag while my fingertips belonging to my other hand lightly dragged along the dirt of the moist forest floor. I lifted that same hand up to my nose and inhaled deeply – she'd been exactly where I was crouching only mere seconds prior.

In the satchel I gripped a round rubbery ball. I was getting ready to strike. I tilted my head back and scented the air... it smelt like brunch. I let the venom freely flow over my tongue as I imagined the flavour of Rachel's blood. Okay, so being her guard and her _boyfriend –_ fuck me, right? – I probably shouldn't imagine drinking her dry in an effort to find her, but it really enhanced the whole tracking her experience and was actually kinda fun along with being slightly bonerific. Yeah, I found it oddly arousing. I couldn't say why. I'm probably just a pervert in the making.

Rachel was rapidly approaching from the rear. She was doing great, I couldn't hear a sound, though I could smell a meal. I inhaled through my mouth – I could practically taste her in the air she was that close. I removed the ball from my bag with my right hand and squeezed in gently in my palm while I waved upwards with the left as if silently telling the mist to rise and cover the top of my head. Lucky for me it didn't have choice in the matter and did what I forced it to do. I closed my eyes and listened carefully – the second I heard the princess' heartbeat I'd spring. She'd never see it coming!

"James?!" Rachel called out, her enchantingly feminine voice echoing around the trees. "Jay, I don't want to play anymore!" With grumble of annoyance I got my feet, yet was immediately startled just about right out of my boots when a burst of blue paint splattered across my face and loud beautiful girly laughter exploded from the princess. I spit out the paint that had seeped past my lips and used the back of my hand to wipe the blue off the lenses of the clear plastic protective goggles I was now glad Rachel had talked to me into wearing. She happened to be wearing the same thing along with a matching satchel – she looked ridiculous, but even more adorable.

"That's what you get for cheating!" She playfully chastised.

I fervently shook my head in denial as I innocently strode through the brush and past a few trees to get to my girlfriend. "I did no such thing." I murmured against her soft skin while leaving a trail of blue kisses up her neck to the corner of her mouth.

She gave me a sideways glance. "There's no room for cheaters in this relationship." _Music_, that was music to my fucking ears. I wasn't entirely sure of what she meant by that sentence, yet if she implied what I thought then my fears were slowly melting away already. I know her to be a crazy promiscuous liar, but I also know there is another part of her... a gentle, sweet, and absolutely loving part of her just dying to be set free. If she could unleash that part of herself on me that would be just grand and very much appreciated. Then again, maybe she already has and I was just too oblivious to notice.

I wrapped an arm around the princess' waist and tugged her close by grabbing firmly to her ass. She squeaked in surprise and I chuckled before going in for a kiss. I may have only earned the title of devoted boyfriend a mere few hours ago, but she'd been my little lady for awhile now and with both these aspects combined I felt I had every right in the world to be a little extra... _hands on_, unless she told me otherwise of course, but I didn't see that happening.

Rachel parted her lips for me, but I didn't take the bait and instead removed my lips from hers and caught her gaze through our goggles. "Will you forgive me?" I whispered in question. She nodded and I smirked. "Will you forgive me for this?" I asked while palming the rubber ball I kept hidden in my hand.

Her pretty brows furrowed and she cocked her head in the most endearing way. "For what?"

"_This_." I quipped just as I smacked my hand with the ball in it flat against the top of her head. Green paint rained down on her shoulders and made a large portion of her hair along with her face look like she'd been covered in slim.

Her jaw dropped and she gazed down at the paint on the front of her lavender purple blouse. "Jamie!" She screamed.

"Darling?" I calmly replied.

She flicked her eyes to mine with a look of playful fury in them. "Fucking run." She threateningly growled, though it was much like hearing a kitten roar.

"Or you'll what?" I cockily remarked.

Rachel huffed while trying to get some of the paint off her face – she was only making a bigger mess. I loved it. "Or I'll fucking kill you!" She hollered. For her benefit and to play along I was about to bolt, but her phone that I carried for her in my pocket began to ring and halted my plans.

I wiped my hands on the thighs of my pants and plucked her phone from my pocket. I glanced at the number calling and rolled my eyes – why did I even bother contemplating that it could be anybody other than King Edward Black calling? I tossed over the phone to Rachel who caught it out of reflex, staining it in green paint. She sighed and shot me a slight death glare.

"Hi, dad!" She happily answered with a smile on her face no less. I wish I could see Eddie's expression; he was probably shitting himself over the sound of his daughter's voice. Imagine that... a little fun put her in a good mood. It's hardly a fucking miracle. If Ed could gather a little common sense that would be nice.

Rachel turned her back to me as she talked to her dad and began to wander off. I tagged along behind, lifting a root here and rolling a stone there, to repeatedly trip her for my own sick amusement. "Jamie!" She shouted at me over he shoulder. "Quit it!" With brows raised I lifted my arms up as if to say I hadn't a damn clue what she was talking about. She huffed and shook her head at me, then faced it forward.

I took the opportunity to dip my hand into the satchel to gather a few paint balls as I stared lustfully at her nice round ass that had my blue hand print on the cheek of her tight fitted acid wash jeans. Everything but my brain was telling me to have sex with this girl, and even that was beginning to falter. I kept promising my dick that I'd masturbate later to the thought of her, though that didn't seem to settle him any. Actually, that just made the both of us feel frustrated. So, I did what any boy does when he likes a pretty girl; I threw something at her.

Yellow splattered that back of her blouse and she let out a startled squeal while dropping her phone in the dirt. "James Yorkie!" She angrily yelled as she whipped around to give me what I believed was supposed to be an intimidating stare. I honestly just wanted to kiss her for it.

The princess pointed at her scuffed up phone on the ground. "If it's broken you're buying me a new one!"

I laughed at the bitch. "Fuck that! If it's broken you can replace that shit yourself and get me one while you're at it; I've always wanted a sugar mama!"

"Go screw yourself." She grumped while picking up her phone.

"I plan on it."

She rolled her eyes at me and returned to her conversation. "You there, dad?" She paused, waiting for a reply, and turned her back to me once more. "He's picking on me... no, you can't talk to him. _God_," She huffed. "Of course we're in my room. Where the hell else would we be?"

Rachel was getting snarky with Edward so I threw another paint ball at her and red exploded all over the back of her left thigh. She whipped around with an overly irritated growl and chucked her phone right at my face... or at least I think she did. She hurled that thing like such a girl and I had to dart to the side to catch it so she wouldn't later moan and groan about how _I _made her smash it.

I flipped her off and pressed the phone to my ear. "Hey, da... _Ed_..." I immediately halted my words after his name tapered off the tip of my tongue. I didn't like my slip up. I didn't like that even my subconscious desperately wanted Edward to be my father.

"Dead?" His grace queried with a chuckle. "Perhaps you meant dad?" His tone was hopeful; he clearly wanted it just as badly as I did.

"Edward... I meant Edward." I wouldn't give either of us the satisfaction. It would only hurt all the more when all this shit blew up in our face.

"Hmm..." He quietly hummed. "Suit yourself. I was just about to ask Rachel to have you run her over to the hospital."

I furrowed my brows. "Uh, yeah, sure, but why?"

"It's Ryan..." He sighed and I immediately felt my heart drop into my stomach where it sizzled in the venomous acid.

"Is he alright?!" I exclaimed in a panic with the last paint ball I was holding falling to the forest floor as I lifted my hand to my forehead. The princess' eyes squinted as she looked my way and seemingly tried to figure out the cause for my sudden unease.

"Oh yes, he's perfectly fine given the circumstances and Paul is ecstatic. I'm sure the wolf will want to be the one to explain what's going on when you get here."

"Umm..." I was having trouble getting my thoughts in order and I dug my finger nails into my scalp. "Where's his majesty?"

"He just went to go pick up Natalie from work. He's taking her out for a meal to tell her what's going on, then he'll be bringing her over to Ryan's later – we're just waiting for the last of the test results before he heads home with Paul. The pup wants to see his sister first, though."

"Okay, so Ryan, he's going to be fine; there's no reason to feel as worried as I do, right?" I anxiously questioned.

"The prince is doing just fine, and James, your job is worry about my daughter, not my son, _remember_?"

I lifted my eyes from the ground to catch Rachel's emerald ones. My hand dropped to my side and I found a small smile forming on my lips. "I remember. We'll be there shortly."

"Okay, jump from Rachel's window and _stay off_ the main roads. Avoid people as well – the last thing we need is someone snapping a picture of you two together and having it end up being front page news."

"I'm not stupid, just blond and beautiful." I assured the king.

He laughed, which caused my smile to grow wider. "You two be safe. I'll see you soon, son. I love you."

My smile fell right off my face and my voice caught in my throat. "I, uh, I love you too, Ed." I choked out before repeatedly pressing the end call button and shoving the phone in my pocket.

"_Aw_..." Rachel teased as she strolled over and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Do you really love him?"

I nodded despite wanting to deny it. "I do."

She smiled and pecked her lips against mine. "You deserve a parent, but my dad is the lucky one. Whoever your real dad is – I pity him. He missed out."

"You know," I said while draping an around around the princess' shoulders to guide her out of the paintball park and toward the main building to hand in our bags and goggles. "I've been thinking about my real dad a bit lately and I was contemplating talking to his grace about trying to find him. I mean, I've been legally dead since I was _executed_ and for all I know he could be looking for me. Imagine how he'd feel if he came across that information and thought his son had died?"

"I don't know, Jay." She sighed. "Do you think that's a good idea? What makes you think he'd be looking for you anyway?"

I shrugged and forced a smile onto my face. "Your mom came back for Ryan, maybe my dad wants to do the same. Better late than never, right?"

Rachel sadly frowned while looking up and into my eyes. "I don't expect you to take my advice, but if you are willing to at least listen, I'd advise against it. You've got my dad who adores and loves you just as much as he does Ryan or me. He's putting his whole marriage on the line keeping you alive and hidden – if that's not love I don't know what is. He thinks of you as a son, he looks at you the same way he does his own, and he probably would have forced you to sign those adoption papers you told me about by now if he wasn't holding onto the hope that his daughter will steal your heart. It'd also hurt him to know that you didn't think he was enough."

I cocked a brow. "What do you care if that hurts him?"

She smirked. "I'm not made of stone. You're his baby now; be prepared to be treated like one and learn just how breakable that man's heart is."

I returned her smirk. "Ah yes, the heart, one of the two organs you fuck with the most."

"Of course, but when it comes to my dad, I'd never break it. Only torture it."

"What about mine?" I queried.

Her brows rose and her smirk turned mischievous. "It's inevitable that both of your organs are going to get the ride of their lives."

* * *

With my arm lazily slung around Rachel's shoulders I guided us into the elevator, hit the button for the fifth floor like a text from Ed instructed me to do, and kissed her lips possessively when people catching a ride with us started gawking, albeit silently, at their princess. I didn't think I was naturally a jealous person, but I believed she could have any man she set her sights on so I figured it was best to keep her distracted and her attention on me – I didn't want her straying the first day I got her. Then again, I didn't really think her the sort of girl to do that. We passed plenty of good looking dudes on the way here, yet her eyes never left me, her smile never faded, and she clung to my hand like she couldn't breathe without it. Charlie would always hold my hand, but he loved to point out humans he thought were attractive – I didn't really like that.

Rachel pulled away from the kiss and eyed the handful of people as she wrapped her arms around my waist. "This is my boyfriend." She said with her hand roaming up the front of my shirt which I quickly pushed away. "Sexy, isn't he?"

My cheeks paled in embarrassment and I fervently shook my head in denial. I was anything but sexy. "I'm sorry." I quickly uttered an apology to the people. "Excuse the princess, she's... _she's drunk_." Rachel gave me a playful slap on the chest and the elevator dinged, alerting us that we arrived at our floor. The metal doors parted, and as Rachel stepped forward I put my foot out in front of hers. She took quite the tumble through the doors, though seeing as I'm such a gentleman I caught the little lady before she could fall on that pretty face of hers. "Whoopsies, watch your step, your highness." I said as if she were child, _or_ a dumb drunk. I glanced over my shoulder while the elevator doors were closing to see the concerned faces of her 'followers'. "We won't be drinking so much tequila again, will we?" I was only told to keep her safe and out of the arms of fellow men. Edward said nothing about her reputation.

Rachel was laughing and it didn't take long for her lips to find mine – I happened to quite like that the happier she was the more she wanted to kiss me. She was in complete control and pushed my back up against the outdated wallpapered wall. I let my hands freely roam the back of her shirt which was crusted with dry paint. The two of us, we were a mess. Her hair was pulled back in a messy ponytail with multiple colours streaked through her hair and staining her hairline. Mine wasn't any better either and my clothes were just as ruined. Thankfully, her lips remained just as tasty and blissful. It was a blessing that I didn't need to breathe or else I'd drown in them.

"Your kisses are perfect." She groaned against my mouth. Touche, lovely lady.

I chuckled and kissed my way down the princess' neck only to hover over her jugular and nip at it lightly. "You smell perfect."

"Mmm," Rachel hummed while tilting her head to give me better access. "Do you think I'd taste perfect too?" There's no fucking doubt about it.

The sound of a throat clearing tore my attention from the princess and I lifted my head to see his grace standing at the end of the hallway with his arms crossed, a brow quirked, and crimson eyes narrowed in on me. I grinned at the moody leech. "Hey, Eddie!" I greeted him and I took Rachel's hand to lead her over to him.

"What the hell happened to the both of you?!" He queried while eyeing us up and down, undoubtedly wondering where all the colours came from.

He gave a sudden and silly smirk. "Did the palace explode?!" He jested, which was typically unlike him. It was always nice seeing the king loosen up and remove that stick from his ass. It must feel great for him.

The princess did this cute little snort and laugh at Ed's joke. She also let go of my hand, took a long stride forward and hugged her dad. Both mine and Edward's eyes widened in surprise, though he didn't for a second hesitate to embrace his baby girl. "I've been having fun today, dad." She sighed in his arms.

"You weren't in the palace when I called, were you?"

Rachel shook her head. "We were at a paintball course." She mumbled into the shoulder of her dad's shirt. Edward sucked in a deep breath as his fingers clenched the back of her shirt. Had he been a cartoon I'd expect smoke billowing from his ears. "We went to one without guns, though. We knew you'd prefer that." She added.

"Good girl." He sighed in relief.

I felt needles of irritation prick at my flesh and my blonde eyebrows scrunched. "She's not a dog!" I snapped, which immediately got the king's attention. Admittedly, the words came out much harsher than intended. "She's a princess, not a pet, so don't treat her like one."

Edward cocked his head as he let go of his daughter, stepped around her and got all up in my personal space. His eyes squinted as he stared directly at me. "You're tense. What's going on in that head of yours? You're hiding something. Tell me, boy, what is it?" Venom flooded my mouth as a feeling of anxious discomfort rattled my nerves, yet I refused to allow my mind to wander. If Rachel wanted her dad to know, she'd have to tell him herself.

His brows furrowed. "Tell me what?" He looked over his shoulder at Rachel. "Princess, what is it that I am unaware of?"

My little lady smirked in the most deviant of ways – she was seconds away from lying. "We had sex. I've never had such a skilled lover take my body like James did." She bragged with a confident fierceness that I actually envied.

Ed's face paled and his gaze slowly returned to mine. "Am I correct in thinking that's nonsense?"

That man desperately needed reassuring, but I've never been the coddling type. "I so sorry, your grace; I couldn't help myself." I muttered in confession while hanging my head in shame, though also in part to avoid the livid expression that had to have donned the king's face.

Silence surrounded us, yet before I knew it I felt a strong hand gripping my shoulder. "No harm done, James. You've got nothing to be sorry for, unless you're apologizing for calling me that title. I thought we were long past that." I lifted my head to gaze at the crazy fuck in confusion. I had just openly admitted to putting my cock inside his daughter, yet here he was trying to comfort me with a forced smile on his face.

Jesus, Paul sure got the short end of the stick. The wolf imprinted on Ryan – he was doomed to love and be absolutely devoted to that alpha wolf for all of eternity. Maybe _doomed _isn't the right word... _maybe it is_. Either way Edward's son is safe with him. There's not a single chance of Ryan ending up with a broken heart, but Eddie here never saw it that way. Why does he see me that way? How can he possibly trust me with Rachel after what I did to- "Shh, enough with the negativity" Edward hushed me. "I trust you because there's no magic voodoo crap screwing with your head."

My brows pinched. "Huh? Magic voodoo?"

The vampire sighed. "There's _no_ imprint, nothing is forced, and whatever you end up feeling for Rachel, be it nothing at all or every ounce of love in the world, it'll be natural, it'll be all you – not some divine intervention by fate to force two people together who otherwise would have never glanced at each other twice."

"Being a little hypocritical, aren't you? You married the wolf who imprinted on you and I believe Ryan is about to do just that as well." Why I was feeling defensive of the crybaby prince and his fucked up fiance was a mystery to me. It probably has something to with the fact that I'm a nice guy, and nice guys do dumb fucked up irrational things that doesn't suit our agendas one bit.

Edward shook his head in obvious denial. "We didn't need the imprint. I know we would've wed without it and I swear the only thing that imprint is good for is making sure Jake keeps his cock to himself and shares it with nobody but myself."

Rachel's nose crinkled in disgust. "And you wonder where my incongruous sexual behaviour stemmed from. I've grown up hearing about nothing but dicks, sex, and orgasms – you're lucky Ryan is just a whore for Paul."

"I didn't fuck her." I quickly put in to take the focus off my girl and prevent Ed from saying multiple things that could hurt her after a statement like that. "Not even a little." I added just as quickly, which made blush. What a stupid comment.

His grace quirked a brow. "Your girl?" _Really_, that's all he got from both my thoughts and my words?

I glanced to Rachel, silently asking for help. She gladly came to my rescue. "I asked James to be my boyfriend."

A massive grin spread across Edward's face and his brows raised. "You said yes, right?"

I chuckled at the vampire's enthusiasm. "I did indeed, your grace."

"Shit..." He breathed while pulling me into a tight embrace. "Thank God for you, son. Thank fucking God."

I was quite perplexed, but hugged him back nonetheless. "Shouldn't I at least get a lecture or two? You know... If I screw her, you'll castrate me or if I break her heart, you'll break my face."

Eddie laughed and while he pulled away from me he gave my shoulders a squeeze. "As long as you don't break her heart I don't see us having any problems."

I cocked a brow. "So her vagina is open season then?" I playfully questioned, though the king didn't look at all amused. Fancy that.

Rachel cleared her throat. "Dad, where's my brother? Why is he here? James said he's alright, but-"

Edward reached out to his daughter and gently placed his scarred hand on her upper arm to halt her speech. "He's just fine." He assured her and began to guide her down the corridor while I tagged along behind to two. "Ryan requested that he be the one to tell you what's going on with him." Ed glanced over his shoulder at me. "Paul wants to explain everything to you, but I'll warn you, he's very proud. If it all becomes too overwhelming you holler for me in your head so we can get you out of here and to a safe place for you to calm down."

"Um..." I hummed with furrowed brows as we rounded a corner. I was pretty fucking confused, yet smiled brightly, especially happily, when I caught sight of Paul exiting a room with a bunch of papers in hand. When the wolf saw me, for the first time since my return he smiled excitedly when his sight landed on me, which of course made me smile all the wider.

Paul rushed his way past the king and princess only to yank me into an all to familiar embrace. I'd missed his brotherly touch and I melted into his arms while wrapping mine around him. "Jamie, I'm seriously experiencing the best day of my goddamn life." He murmured by my ear as Rachel and Edward disappeared through the door he came out of.

I pulled away with a grin that rivalled the Grinch's. "You're going to tell me all about it, right?"

He nodded, his grin matching mine. I'd never seen the wolf appear so happy. He was practically glowing he looked so bright and chipper – it was a breath of fresh air, and about fucking time. He deserved to feel this way. "You couldn't stop me if you tried." He said while opening a door we were standing by and he grabbed my wrist to drag me in. He flicked on a light and I found myself in a small room with a table and a few scattered chairs, yet a huge, presumably one-way window, that framed a tired looking prince lying in a hospital bed and his family who sat by Dr. Cullen who was in the middle of what appeared to be a very long winded speech.

I ran my fingers over the part of the window Ryan was behind. He was as beautiful as ever. Gorgeous even. He looked older than I remember. He still had that innocent puppy air about him, but if I had to guess I'd say he wouldn't age any further. "It's impossible to take your eyes of something that looks so perfect, isn't it?" Paul mused in question as he came to stand beside me. I flicked my eyes to Rachel who currently had her mouth hanging open in what appeared to be shock. It really wasn't a good look for her, yet I couldn't help but chuckle – she had this truly irresistible charm about her.

I turned my head to meet Paul's eyes, though just for a quick glance before my attention was returned to the princess. "_Difficult_, but definitely not impossible." I mumbled while a small smile etched my lips. Rachel didn't give me happiness, she just had a way of making things seem brighter. The bad things weren't so gloomy when I had her to talk me through them and the good things, well, the good things could never be better when she was there to enjoy them with me.

When I looked at the siblings together my eyes kept trying to pull to the side so she'd be the only one in my vision. She wasn't the embodiment of perfection, she had flaws galore, but I couldn't help but think that only added to my attraction. She knew I wasn't perfect either and that I'd never be, yet she liked me anyway. She understood me, just like I understood her. I used to think Charlie understood me, but he didn't. Not even a little. If he did he wouldn't have hurt me like he did. I couldn't trust the words that came out of Rachel's mouth, but I trusted her intentions. She cared about me. I don't know why the princess would, but the princess did, and I wasn't about to deny the fact that I cared about her too.

I was nervous, defensive, and even guarded. I wasn't about to throw myself at her and map out our future together. I wasn't even sure if I had a future, and relationships so easily ended all the time. I was prepared and comfortable with the fact that in all likelihood we weren't each other's forever. Although, that didn't have to change anything, it didn't mean it couldn't be amazing while it lasted, and I could still allow myself to love her. A broken heart didn't mean the end of the world, it just meant I'd loved and lost. But, you know what they say, the third times a charm, and the princess sure is a charmer in the most nontraditional ways.

The wolf placed a warm hand on my shoulder. "You shouldn't be looking at Rachel like that."

"Like what?" I queried, but I couldn't find the strength to take my sight off the princess and place it on Paul.

"Like you like her."

"I do like her..." I muttered.

"Well, don't." He said while squeezing my shoulder so hard it hurt. I ripped my eyes off Rachel and plastered them to Paul. "Edward mentioned that you two have been getting close. Maybe it time you tell Ed you don't want to be Rachel's guard after all."

My brows pinched together. "But I do want to be."

The wolf sighed and gave my shoulder another squeeze. "You're a dangerous man, James."

I shook my head in refusal. "No I'm not."

Paul nodded toward Edward. "Look at what you did to him. What happens when the princess screws up and makes you angry, huh? It's only a matter of time until you hurt her."

I rolled my eyes at the presumptuous wolf. "You're making me angry right now, but, look, nobody is fucking dying!" I exclaimed.

"You be careful with that little girl, James."

"I'll heed your warning if you get rid of that false sense of superiority you seem to be sporting." I hissed with clear animosity in my tone. "That little girl is a woman – the small number of years she has lived means nothing. Also, if people took her seriously for a moment or two they'd realize she is perfectly capable of taking care of her-fucking-self. She'd not an invalid, she's not stupid, she's angry and has every fucking right to be!"

The wolf smirked and I immediately wanted to punch that look right off his face. "You love her."

I fervently shook my head in refusal. "No, I _don't_ love her. I like her, I care for her, I feel protective, and it pisses me off when people underestimate her. She's a good person with a good heart and I swear to god if I hear one more person refer to her as some pathetic child I'm going to hit them. I'll break their fucking nose, laugh at their pain, probably hit them again, then be on my merry goddamn way!"

His smirk morphed into a grin. "_Sadistic fuck,_ I feel the exact same way about my imprint." Fuck his imprint! "Although, more often than not it's Ryan I find myself arguing with since I can't very well hit him. He's his own worst enemy, you know?"

"I know." I know that very fucking well.

"He doesn't know how to grow up."

"Blame his dad." I snapped. Ryan was the last thing I wanted to talk about. There was nothing Paul could tell me about the prince that I didn't already know.

"I do for the most part, though Jake has a funny way of looking like he's present when he's not really at all. He's no parent; he never was and never will be. All he's ever been to Ryan is a friend, and not a very good one at that – I think we can both agree that he's even worse when it comes to the princess." I nodded. I definitely could agree. He's completely absent in Rachel's life. "I blame Jacob just as much as I do Edward. Ryan and Rachel never stood a fucking chance. I don't doubt the kings' love for either one of their kids, but with my boys I'll follow their example by doing the exact opposite. I don't want one to grow up to be angry and bitter or the other to be completely insecure and only knows how to cry to express his emotions." The wolf paused to lay out the papers he was holding on the table. They turned out to be three pictures, sonograms actually.

I dragged over a chair and sat my ass in front of them. I picked up the image closest to me as I squinted my eyes and cocked my head while trying to figure out what exactly I was looking at. Paul came to stand behind me and circled my index finger around what I believed to be the head. "That's its head, right?"

"_His_ head, yes." He answered. With that figured out I found myself smiling because the little thing was kinda cute in a creepy bobble head sort of way. I could see the shape of its nose, though its head and body reminded me of a peanut yet to be removed from it's shell, but its teensy foot had me internally awing. I was such a sucker for this crap.

"His name is James." Paul told me.

I glanced up at him over my shoulder with raised brows. "Good name." I said with a chuckle.

"Yeah, James Edward Lahote." My eyes widened and I accidentally slammed the picture down on the table in surprise, though Paul was quick to slide another sonogram in front of me. "This one is Nahuel Jacob Lahote." After making sure I looked at it, he forced the third picture into my hands. "This is both James and Nahuel. My twin boys."

"Oh..." I all but squeaked and he pulled up a chair to sit beside me. "They are..." I tried to find a proper to word to compliment his puppies, but I didn't seem to be in a very complimentary mood. "They're..." I tried again, though still nothing happened. "I - I didn't realize you two were moving so fast, Paul. Who's the surrogate?"

"That's the best part," He started while placing a hand on my knee. "There is no surrogate. Ryan and I made them all on our own!"

"What?" I breathed and my head slowly turned to the side to gaze through the window. Rachel was sitting at her brother's beside with her hand rested on his lower abdomen. She appeared astonished, Ryan proud. Edward was flipping through more sonograms with the doctor who looked absolutely elated, whereas the king seemed rather dour.

It didn't take me long to realize the impossible had happened between alpha and beta, imprint and wolf... prince and man. My knee jerk reaction was to laugh and perhaps a little maniacally so since the wolf was staring at me like I was out of my mind. I didn't know why I was laughing so hard. Maybe it was because I couldn't cry and maybe it was because this was so utterly ironic. If I had really tried, really fought for the prince I could have had absolutely everything with him, _every-fucking-thing_, family and all. That thought made laugh all the harder.

I fucked up. I fucked up so big. I practically gave the prince away and this is what I've got to show for it. I tried to do the right thing, but where's the justice? Where the fuck is my happily ever after? Of course Ryan would make a dream house for Paul, of course he'd propose, and of course he'd somehow find a way to give that fucking wolf the family he's always wanted. That stupid little shit would go to any lengths to give Paul the life he _deserves_, and he does deserve it. I can't help but hate him for it – it's bitter and it's wrong, but I fucking hate Paul for getting exactly what I wanted since I was eight goddamn years old. I just... I had to wonder, why didn't I deserve it?

Paul removed the sonogram I was beginning to crinkle in my grasp when my laughter died down. "You okay, Jamie?" He questioned.

"Yes." I was quick to state. "It's crazy news..."

The wolf frowned. "You don't look okay."

I forced myself to smile excitedly at him. "I'm just shocked, Paul, _your_ fiance is having _your_ puppies. Man, this is just what I needed to hear!" _Yeah fucking right._ "Purgatory can get me down sometimes, but with news like this..." Misery will surely keep me company. "I've got nothing but good things to look forward to." Since anytime now his majesty will off me and my nightmare of a life will be over! "You have no idea what exactly this means to me." _It hurts so bad, Paul_. Can't you fucking see it? "I'm one of the godparents, right?"

A huge grin spread across Paul's lips. It wasn't exactly what I wanted to see, but it was what I was trying to achieve. "Of course you are!" Yes, _of course_ I am, because what better way to rub salt in my wounds than to name his fucking kid after me and have me be a godparent. "Both you and Nahuel are."

"Rachel can have babies..." I muttered. I wasn't sure if it was to myself or to the wolf since I didn't even know why I said it in the first place. Maybe I was just trying to tell myself that if I really wanted to be an utter cunt I can knock the princess up with a good dosing of sinful premarital sex, have some bastard babies out of wedlock too, and act all proud about the achievement of spreading my seed. I didn't have to be left out if I didn't want to be. Although, the princess could very well decline the wonderful opportunity to bear my children and I wasn't so sure how I felt about impregnating a seven-year-old. I know age is only a number, I've said as much, but still, she isn't even in the double digits yet. She needed to live a little first – fuck, I needed to live a little first! Whatever, I don't know why I'm even thinking any of this garbage. I'd ultimately never screw the princess with the intention of procreating. Then again, I believe someone said, never say never. Fuck it, _never_.

The wolf chuckled. "She can, but she better not! You're meant to be an uncle, not a daddy." Oh no, no no no. That prick didn't just tell me what I'm meant to be, did he? I think he caught my fading smile because he shot me a grin. "Don't look at me like that!" He laughed. "I only meant just for now. You'll have to settle for adoption, though. I think we both know your little fling with Rachel isn't going anywhere. Jake might not kill you, but he'll never let you be with his daughter."

"Fuck Jacob and fuck you, Paul!" I crossly retorted. I didn't care if my anger was unwarranted or not. He pissed me off and since I really didn't want to see anything explode, especially him, he was just going to have to get a mouthful. "I like the fuck out of Rachel, and personally, I can see myself loving the fuck out of her too. Not only does she have bigger balls than _your _imprint, but she doesn't have the personality of a wall either. She doesn't tip-toe around my feelings and she'd never take advantage of them either. She's not a user, she's not an insecure wreck that would steal all the kisses I have to offer, reach for cuddles, or tell me she loves me while she waits for something better to come along." I heatedly ranted. "I _am_ the something better to her!" I vehemently exclaimed as I roughly tapped at the middle of my chest. "If his majesty thinks he can take Rachel away from me just because he's her daddy and the king then he's got another thing coming! He can kill me, he can kill me all the fuck he wants because I swear to you, Paul, that if she wants me the way I think she does, even if Jacob fucking Black rips my head right from my body I'll find my way back to her; I want her just the same and I'm not letting this one get away!"

Paul smirked. "Well, if that's the case then why are you so upset about Ryan and I having puppies?"

I furrowed my brows and shook my head. "I'm not."

Paul chortled and gave my arm a friendly punch. "You're a good actor, James, but your powers are a dead giveaway." He motioned toward my hand that I had resting on the wooden table. I flicked my eyes to it and they immediately widened as they caught sight of all the smoke. I ripped my hand off the table to see a perfect hand print burnt into it. "Can't you smell the smoke?" He asked.

I sniffed the air and I definitely could. "I guess my mind was too occupied to notice." I said with paling cheeks. I met Paul's eyes and that smirk was still on his face. "You were trying to antagonize me weren't you?"

The wolf put his hands up in mock surrender. "Busted."

"Why?" I queried.

"Because if you like Rachel so much you don't need to be dwelling on what didn't happen between you and Ryan." Paul paused to let out a huff of breath and scoot his chair closer to mine so we were thigh to thigh. He wrapped an arm around me and with the hand attached to it he tousled my hair in an affectionate manner. "I know you're jealous, I know you want what I've got, and I know just as well that you can have everything I do, just not with Ryan. If you think you have a shot at happiness with Rachel then don't you listen to me or what anybody else has to say; that includes you too. Don't sabotage yourself. Don't wish for the impossible when you've got something even better right in front of you."

"But you got the impossible." I bitterly mumbled.

"Okay, if you're going to be like that, who's to say Rachel isn't your impossible?" I smiled because I liked the thought of that. "Think of all you two will have to overcome if you're ever going to work... and all the babies you can have if you do!"

The wolf made me laugh. "Babies are definitely the last thing on my mind."

"So, what's the first?" He questioned.

I held firm to my smile and looked his way. "As of lately, the princess, but everything is so new. I've only just started calling her my girlfriend today."

Paul's brows rose and he gave me a funny grin. "Oh, so she's your _girlfriend_, huh?" He asked and I nodded yes in reply. "Then what are you doing thinking about my pregnant fiance?"

I shrugged. "I'm dangerous man." I playfully teased, using his own words against him. "You better watch out. I might pull an Eric and make them both mine."

"That's sick! They're blood."

I shrugged once again. "My cock likes what my cock likes and the thought of banging those two together doesn't sound half bad." I jested.

The wolf growled and his gaze became intimidating. "My puppies are growing inside of Ryan. I'd appreciate if you _didn't_ talk about him that way."

I rolled my eyes. "I wouldn't fuck him _now_. I talking strictly pre-pregnancy." Feeling oddly affectionate I rested my head on the wolf's shoulder while he continued to hold me. I usually found this sort of stuff uncomfortable with Paul, but right now I had no fucks to given. I'd soak it up while it lasted. "I would never... you know, try anything with Ryan. Firstly, I know your imprint doesn't want me that way, and secondly, I'd never do you like that. I couldn't live with myself if I ever caused you to have a broken heart."

"I've always trusted you with my imprint, Jamie. Still do." My eyes fluttered closed when Paul's nose dipped into my hair and he softly nuzzled his cheek against me. I felt like such a little boy again. Eric used to do this to me before the social workers took me away – he had a way of knowing exactly what I was feeling and I'd always find myself in his arms when I was on the verge of tears. I never had to cry because he'd never let the pain get that bad. I don't care about his excuses or the amount of times he apologizes – I'll never completely forgive him for leaving me. I've moved on, but won't ever forget. He abandoned me, and in turn let all the shitty kids at the shitty schools bully me and let my just as shitty foster parents treat me like how I felt, like I was nothing. The men would always smack me around and the women would call me names like pussy and faggot. Eric had to know, he _had_ to, but he never stopped it. He could have taken me, we could have ran, we could had a completely different life, a good one! I had to stop my thinking right there. Eric has a good life. He has _two _people completely devoted to him that he loves, plus a daughter, and now he's practically rolling in cash. I guess I should be happy for him, but honestly... I'm just jealous.

"James, I'm so sorry..." Paul breathed.

I tilted my head and opened my eyes to look at him. "For what?"

"That things had to work out this way for you. I thought you were everything to Charlie."

I sadly frowned, pulled away from the wolf and pushed his hands away from me too. "You and me both." I whispered to myself.

"I know I've said this before, but Ryan is stupid for not giving you a chance."

I shrugged and met Paul's eyes. "Or maybe I'm just stupid for loving him."

His brows raised and he gave me a sly smile. "Maybe we both are."

My shoulders slumped and my finger traced the goofy body of one of his puppies in the sonogram I was eyeing. "Why do you love Ryan, like _really_ love him? Is it the imprint that makes you?" I inquired while thinking about what Eddie said earlier.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw him shake his head. "I don't feel like I'm made to do anything. I look at that boy and see everything I lost. My youth, my carelessness... my innocence. He's the exact opposite of me and I love him all the more for it. I don't care that we struggle to find things in common or that we are at two very different points in our lives. I know exactly who I am, what I want, and what I'm going to do with my life, whereas my little wolf knows none of that when it comes to himself." The wolf halted his speech and sighed, though he gave me what felt like a reassuring smile. "He's not ready for this in the slightest," He said as he pointed to the picture with both his unborn pups in it. "But I know he's going to be a perfect mother. He's my imprint,_ I__know it_. I can feel it in my fucking bones. He feels lost and this will give him purpose – it'll make him a better, stronger, and more empathetic prince. It'll take his mind off himself, and more importantly me. Our sons will teach him all he needs to learn. I honestly believe that once the boys are here everything with sort of, just... _fall into place._"

I nodded. I understood where he was coming from, but- "You didn't say _why_ you love him."

"I can't give you some clear cut answer. I love him because he sacrificed so much of his _whole_ life to save my own and make us work. I love him because he lets me go off and chase my dreams even when parts of them don't include him. I wish I could do better by him, because I do think that's what he deserves – he's such a beautiful boy, yet he's always there waiting for me when I get home in the evening when he has so many better options. I think he knows I'm his to keep and I do believe I'm exactly what he'll always want, just like he is for me. I love him because of the way he makes me feel. When he cries, a piece of me aches when I know I was the cause. It hurts, but it hurts _so_ good, and I know if I never got to hear his sniffles or see his tears again a part of me would go missing. I'd be lost without him and it has nothing to do with him being my imprint. He was the one who found me, the real me that ran away when I was in prison. He gave me all these feelings and continues to spoil me with all his love, and I love him for it. I simply wouldn't know what to do with myself if I didn't have him. He's the reason I wake up smiling, strive to better myself, love my life and look forward to more of it. I love him because he's him and I wouldn't love him if he was anybody else." A sappy smile donned the wolf's lips. "He's not perfect, but he's perfect for me."

I laughed at Paul; I just couldn't help myself. "The cheese!" I exclaimed, causing the wolf to laugh right along with me.

"I'm sorry!" He guffawed. "It's what love does to you!"

My laughter died. "Is it nice?" I softly queried.

Paul cocked his head. "Is what nice?"

"To know that the person you love with every bit of you, and who loves you just the same, will never leave you?"

The happiness on Paul's face died just like my laughter did. "James..." He sighed. "Be patient, man. You'll get what you're looking for."

My face contorted with all the pain I felt. "I don't know about that." I despondently whined and I immediately felt a warm hand on the back of my neck to comfort me. "What I said about Jacob killing me..." I forced my eyes to Paul's. "I'm so scared of him." I breathed. "Even with all my powers I don't know how to come back to life if he kills me."

"Edward will keep you safe."

"That's the thing," I tremulously whispered. "I don't think he can."

"He will." Paul insisted.

I shook my head. "Can I come home with you?" I asked, though on the inside I felt like I was begging. I loved living at the palace, I wanted to be near Rachel, but my time there was wearing thin. "I don't see why Ed would object, and you said yourself you trust me with your imprint. I could help when-"

"James," He said, cutting me off. "I can't help you."

"I not asking for help." I quickly put in. "Things can go back to the way the were. We had fun living together, didn't we?"

Paul nodded. "We did have fun, but things can never go back to the way they were. I have puppies on the way; I'm getting married. I'm not broken anymore, I don't need your help, so I don't need-"

"_Me_." I finished his sentence for him, and with that I felt my frozen heart throb and wallow in hurt.

Paul shook his head again and took his hand off me. "That's not what I was going to say. I just... fuck, James, I've got a family to worry about now! I can't be dragging Ryan into this mess – him nor the pups need the stress. Besides, I don't even want to think about what Jake would do to me if he found out I'd been housing you. The king is impulsive when he's angry, and my pregnant imprint does _not _need to see his own father hurting me or worse."

"But, Paul," I whimpered. I was beginning to really freak myself out here. If the wolf was fearful of what Jacob would do to him just for letting me live in his home, what the fuck does that mean for me? "You once said I was family."

"I was wrong. You stopped being family when you died and became..." He slowly eyed me up and down. "Whoever, _whatever_, you are now."

My face scrunched, and if I had them, I'd be fighting off tears. "How can you say that, huh? You're naming your kid after me!"

The wolf shook his head. "I'm naming my kid after _Nahuel_. It was Ryan who picked your name. I didn't think it was very a good idea, but I wasn't going to try and talk him out of naming his son after his dead best friend!" I should have seen this coming. In fact, I think I did. I've known since the first time I saw him after the fire that things were different, that they were all wrong.

I hung my head, though kept my eyes firmly on Paul. "So, we're not brothers anymore?"

"No, James, we're not."

I wrapped my arms around myself. "Don't leave me." I grievously pleaded. I didn't think I could stand yet another person who's supposed to love me vanish from my life. I didn't want to lose this wolf. He promised me that was impossible. He promised me there was nothing I could do that would make him leave me. He fucking promised!

"I'd never leave you. You left me." I fervently shook my head in denial. I'd never leave someone I loved. "You did, Jamie. You left me the second you lit my truck on fire with Edward inside it."

"I did that for you!" I indignantly exclaimed while bolting upright to my feet. "That king treated you and everybody else around him like garbage! He practically ordered you to your fucking death and you just let him; you forgave him! I couldn't! But, he's better now. Maybe it has something to do with me, maybe it doesn't, but he's better now and that's what matters. So, forgive me! Forgive me like you forgave him!" The lights were flickering, the door was rattling, and the chairs were vibrating on their four legs – I was pissed! I was done begging and pleading. I was telling him now. He had to forgive me, it was only fair!

Paul rose to his feet as he shook his head. "No." That's all he said. Just _no_.

I gazed at him in complete disbelief. "Even dad forgave me for what I did to him."

His expression contorted in confusion. "Who?"

"Edward." I hissed. I was in too much of a crap mood to care about what I called the king. That's what he felt like, so that's what he is, _my dad_. "He calls me his son. He forgives me, even loves me."

Paul gave me a blank faced stare. "After what you did to him, you don't deserve his love." He coldly stated. I threw all my dismal energy into the chairs before it went elsewhere on its own accord. The chairs blew and splinters of wood went flying, hitting both Paul and I, yet he didn't even flinch. If I had to guess, he was expecting it.

The door slammed open to reveal Edward, and he instantly waved for me to come to him. I did exactly what was instructed of me and I found myself flush against him and shielded by his arms from the world around me. We were easily the same size, but I felt like a little kid in his embrace, though more importantly he felt like my dad. I had a parent who loved me and a pretty girl who adored me, none of this other trivial shit had to matter if I didn't let it. Paul can go fuck himself if he doesn't like me, I don't need Ryan to love me, and it doesn't even affect me that their having puppies. Rachel was special and I damn well knew it. As much as I wanted the prince all to myself, I wanted the princess more; that's the god's honest truth. It stung like a bitch that I was nothing more than a friend to my first love, but right now I was so beyond caring. I had my little meltdown. I got sad. He has his own life. Boo-hoo. If he doesn't want me, tough. His loss, Rachel's gain, and I'll be damned if I'm not happy about that.

"You've said enough. Go be with your imprint, Paul." Edward told him. "Send Rachel out here." Yes, please do.

The wolf squeezed by us through the doorway and soon enough I was in Rachel's arms instead of Edward's. "What the hell did that mutt say to you, Jay?" She angrily questioned. I rested my head on her shoulder and she tugged the elastic from my messy hair to help me relax by threading her fingertips through it.

"It doesn't matter." I muttered in defeat. I sighed and closed my while pressing my nose and lips to her neck. I was hiding, yet also basking. Her warmth sated my need for comfort, her touch calmed my thoughts, her scent lulled my overworked senses to sleep, and the sound of her heartbeat soothed mine that ached. She was the perfect remedy for heartbreak and loss – she gave me more than I ever had in the first place and she had a funny of way of making my heart feel whole again. It quit over a year ago, but with her holding me like this, it throbbed with life. I felt cured.

"You're right, it doesn't matter," She murmured before tilting her head to place a kiss on my forehead. "Because I've got you now, so does our dad." A strong hand rubbed comforting circles on my back and I knew it was Eddie, it was my dad, and I had never felt more loved. Neither of them had to say the words, I felt it, and I also felt worth it. I deserved it. I loved them too, but that didn't stop me from being petrified of his majesty. He was going to rip this all away from me. I just fucking knew it.

Edward's hand moved up to my shoulder and gave it a shake. I opened my eyes to see Paul standing behind the princess and in front of me. "Can I speak with you, privately?" He questioned.

I nodded as I pulled away from Rachel who placed her small hands on my cheeks and gave my lips a quick kiss. "I'll be with my brother. If you want me, just think it, and dad will tell me."

"Okay." I mumbled my reply before going for another little kiss.

Ed and Rachel went to Ryan's room and I followed Paul back into the one I had messed up. The wolf irritably sighed and ran his hands through his hair. "James..." He started, though suddenly stopped. He took a step closer to me and just like Rachel had done moments before he placed his hands on my cheeks. "You're my fucking brother and nothing you could ever do will change that. I promised you that, and I meant it." His hands slid to my hair where he clenched them. "I'm angry with you, but I haven't for a second stopped loving you, so don't you dare think otherwise." He firmly assured me with a little shake of his hands. "I look at Edward and I don't know how you could have done such a thing, but I when I see you, I see the same guy I've always known... my goofy blonde haired and pale faced little brother. We may not be blood, but we're always gonna be brothers, got it?"

I nodded and his hands slipped to my shoulders. He pulled me to him for a hug and I hurriedly wrapped my arms around him. "Paul..." I whimpered. God, I was such a pussy, but who cares? Who really fucking cares? "I'm so sorry for what I did."

Paul's big and warm arms enveloped me. "Just promise me you won't ever do something like that again."

"I promise!" I instantaneously replied.

I felt the wolf nod against me and I heard him sigh once more. "I'm sorry too. The things I said, they were uncalled for, but I'm scared of Jacob as well. I know exactly the kind of anger he's capable of and I want no part in it." He pulled away far enough away from me so he could meet my eyes. "You're my brother though, we're family and my home is your home. If you're ready to face Ryan and explain everything to him, and if he's okay with it, you can stay with us for as long as you need."

My brows scrunched and I shook my head in disbelief. "You'd put your neck out there like that for me?"

"I just said we're family, James. Jacob isn't going to kill you, and if he does, I'll have died trying to prevent it."

I yanked myself away from Paul. "You can't do that! Ryan... your puppies!"

"I'm not going to stand idle. I'm not letting you die a third fucking time."

I smirked. "It'd technically only be a second."

The wolf laughed. "Fuck you and your technicalities! To me it'd be your third." He insisted while placing each of his hands on my upper arms. "I'm fighting for you, Jamie. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you and I did nothing to try to stop it." I think, really, that's all I needed to hear. I just needed the reassurance, but I don't need the actions. I don't _want_ the actions.

"Don't, Paul. You said yourself you've got a family to worry about it, and even if I'm part of it, to you, your puppies are more important, and I'm okay with that. They should be. You fight for them and for Ryan, not me. _They need you_."

The wolf appeared crestfallen and his hands fell from me. "But-"

"But nothing." I interrupted. "Can I see your phone for a second?" He furrowed his brows, took it from his pocket, and handed it over. I went into his messages and started a new one, typed out what I needed with increasingly quavering fingers, and scrolled through the list of names until I found the one I was looking for. I sucked in a deep breath and hit send. "I think it's best if we all just got this over with." I said as I passed his cell back to him.

I didn't try to hide what I did, I left it up for Paul to see, and when he read what I wrote and to _who _I sent it to his expression was one of pain. "Jamie... no..." He quietly whined and his watery eyes lifted to mine. "_Why_?"

"There's no sense in dragging this on any longer and it certainly wouldn't be fair to Ryan for him to find out I'm alive only to have his father change that fact shortly after." I was doing good. I was terrified, but my powers weren't screaming to be set free. Jacob now knew about me, he knew my room number down in purgatory, and soon enough this would all be dealt with. "I don't know what to say to you, Paul. Is it see you later or is it goodbye?"


	68. Chapter 68

**Chapter Sixty-eight  
**

_Point of View: Ryan**  
**_

Paul's kisses were constantly sweet, and his touch was always gentle, though if it weren't for his puppies growing in my belly I was certain his mind wouldn't be on me at all – I had the worst feeling it would be long lost and I wouldn't know where to find it. It scared me that I kept peeling labels off random objects and frantically reorganizing his side of the closet so things weren't colour coordinated and matched by shape, size, and fabric. For the most part he was the Paul I proposed to, yet there were times he was distant, quiet, and appeared melancholic. We had plenty of good moments together, though he was also very short tempered. He never yelled at me, he hadn't so much as raised his voice, yet he had this way of looking at me that sent chills down my spine. I always knew it was time to keep my lips shut and snuggle my wolf on the couch when he did that.

We slept outside every night it wasn't raining. Even though we were constantly surrounded by guards, I believed it soothed him when we cuddled up under the stars in our wolf forms by the river bank. He always had one ear pressed firmly against my belly to listen to our little alien princes while his other ear listened to the flow of the water. His thoughts were always as calm as the river on those nights and I'd often find myself staying up far too late just so I could watch his dreams. Most of them were about me and our puppies, lots featured my dad, yet almost all of them had James somewhere in them. It was strange, with my eyes closed and seeing nothing but his dreams it was like my friend was right there in front of me. He appeared exactly how I remembered him and sounded just the same, yet I never liked the way he'd gaze at me when I had my back turned to him. There was a longing in his coal black eyes and a hurt so deep I didn't understand it. I knew it was love; I wasn't dimwitted enough to deny that – it was like his heart was breaking piece by piece and each time he looked at my back he lost a chunk.

I had to wonder how many times Paul caught him looking at me like that. I tried not to think about it, but the hopelessness that I felt from James when he'd be gazing at me so earnestly was absolutely haunting. I never wanted to see him unhappy, though I knew I had been his biggest downfall. He was always there for me, crawling into my bed late at night, making me laugh... holding me tight. I could remember sharing a pillow with him and how perfect his fingertips felt across the skin of my cheek. He'd smile when he did that and his bright blue eyes would be looking so deeply into mine, yet there I was imagining he was Paul. I soaked up his touch like a sponge to water and I feasted on his lips just so I could pretend he was someone he wasn't, someone he never stood a chance against, and I can't fathom the pain I caused him. When I think of losing Paul to someone else, it'd shatter my world. If only I knew then what I know now... if I could go back and do it all again...

I no longer wish I could have loved James. I wanted this life. It was far from perfect and my wolf seemed to go in endless circles, but with each passing day I felt more attached to my babies inside me. I was so intensely petrified, yet so insanely in love too. I couldn't give them up, not even for James. Not for the kingdom. Not for the entire world. I couldn't spare them even for Paul and he was my absolute everything... or at least I thought he was until I found out I was pregnant. My puppies came first, my wolf second, then everybody else. There was one thing I did wish, though. I wish I never met James, or more accurately, I wish he never met me.

I had so many fond memories of James, but they were all distorted, they were all fake since I believed him to be happy when in actuality he was anything but. He said he loved me. I was naive; I presumed it to be infatuation. I thought we were only friends, _best friends_. I thought he liked the closeness we shared for the same reason I did, because it felt good. Yet, he liked it, or rather loved it, for the worst reason there was – he loved it because it was with _me_.

James was the most amazing friend a person could have and I truly loved him as much as a wolf could love a friend. He was my rock and backbone when Paul left. I don't know what I'd be like or where I'd be at if I never had James in my life. However, I'd trade it all just so we'd never cross paths... so I never knew he even existed. The day he met my family was the beginning of his end. I was never more sure of my wish when a little over a month ago I found Paul sitting on our bathroom floor with watery eyes while leaning against the mahogany counter.

I took a seat beside him and pulled his big body into my arms the best I could. "I should have fought for him." He quietly whimpered as he hid his face away in the crook of my neck.

I combed my fingers through his inky black hair. "Fought for who?"

"James." He forlornly moaned. "He told me not to." My brows furrowed in response and I lifted his face to hold it in the palms of my hands. I eyed his sorrowful expression intently while using my thumbs to wipe away a few of his stray tears. It hurt to see him upset. I hadn't seen tears from hurt in his eyes since his hospital stay and I had hoped he'd never feel the need for them again.

I kissed the middle of his forehead and dropped one of my hands to nuzzle his cheek. "You did – I was right by your side when you begged my father to spare James' life. He was determined. Nothing anybody could have said or done would have stopped him."

Paul nodded and rested his head on my shoulder. "That leech really fucks with my head. Why did he have to go and make things so difficult? Whose side am I supposed to take? I can empathize with Jacob, I'm angry for Edward, yet all I want is James back and I was really counting on it too." He tilted his head so he could look up at me. "He's never coming back, Ryan." He murmured while his handsome face slowly contorted with pain, and tears welled in his beautiful brown eyes.

I kissed his cheeks, his nose, his mouth, anywhere my lips could reach. "I know, Paulie." I sadly sighed. "Every so often I try to convince myself otherwise, as if one day James will just magically appear like nothing ever happened, but it's impossible. We've just got to be content in the fact that wherever he is, he's in a better place."

My wolf sat up straight and he stared at me so gravely that I felt the little hairs on my arms rise. "He's not in a better place. He's in hell,_ purgatory_..." His face scrunched and tears fell. "And I don't have a fucking clue how to get him out of there!" He agonizingly whined.

I shook my head and took his face back in my hands. "A guy like James would never end up in a place like that. He only did one bad thing, Paulie." I tried to assure him. "Surely all the good things he did and all the people he's helped has got to count for something. "

He shook his head just as adamantly as I had. My hands dropped to my lap and his ran through my hair, down the sides of my neck, and clung to the front of my shirt. "That's just it, angel, your father will do everything in his power to make sure James gets what he felt the leech deserved, even if it meant he had to drag him all the way down to the fiery pits himself."

"James is gone." I firmly stated. "Nobody can hurt him now. Not even a king." I asserted.

My words only upset my wolf further and his knuckles turned white from gripping my shirt so tightly. "W-what if I were to tell you he isn't exactly gone?" He stuttered out a quiet reply.

With my brows pinched I cocked my head. "What do you mean, 'not exactly gone'?"

His Adams apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed. "James is alive."

My face fell. I didn't need this. I had _just_ found out I was pregnant and now he was pulling something like this? "Oh, Paul..." I worriedly breathed. "Don't delude yourself." I placed my hands over his and gave them a squeeze. "Don't ever speak like that... don't even think it."

"But-" He started, though I cut him off.

"It's not a request, it's an order. Got it?" Paul's face paled and became etched with lines of stress, but he nodded nonetheless. "Tell me you understand."

"James is dead." He said, though I hated how robotic it seemed. He sounded hypnotized... brainwashed even. Then again, it was probably better than the alternative. He didn't need to be obsessing over James and he especially didn't need to be thinking the vampire was still alive.

It pained me to think it, but Paul was a pretty big factor when it came to my wish and if I had things my way he'd be connected to James, not me. What those two needed were each other and in the perfect world I don't think I'd be a part of it. I knew how much Paul loved me, but more often than not I felt like he was stuck with me. He says being with me is his choice, yet I kind of think that's horse shit. I got everything I could ever want, though at what cost? It wasn't worth James' life and it frightened me to think that maybe I pressured Paul into all of this. What if, deep down inside my wolf somewhere, I'm not quite what he wants?

I was scared and worked myself up to tears one afternoon thinking about it. Would I end up a divorced single parent? Would Paul try to take my puppies away from me? It was awkward having the guards watch me cry, but I suppose they really do care about me since one of them called Paul on their own accord and asked him to come home. I felt bad since he ended up leaving work hours early and returned home a little grumpy. Although, that didn't stop him from also returning with something cold for me to drink that gave me brain freeze. I revelled in the pain since it quelled my hot flashes. I'm sure the blood vessels in my cheeks nearly burst when he handed over a box of assorted chocolates though. I felt so ridiculously girly, yet was more astonished that he knew I'd been craving those exact ones all day. I would say it was just a coincidence, but he did that sort of thing all the time. I never asked how he knew those things – I liked the mystery.

I was such a pathetic teary eyed mess that day while eating my chocolates and drinking my fruity drink in bed. I was also wearing sweat pants and an old t-shirt of Paul's that was practically a dress on me. I looked awful, truly awful – he called me beautiful.

Paul laid between my legs and I initially thought he was going for my dick, which wasn't at all a bad thing, though instead he lifted my shirt up and kissed my belly which had become impossible to hide. He whispered sweet nothings to our peanuts and nuzzled my bump. He was such a dorky daddy it was almost embarrassing. Every single day he'd have one sided conversations with our pups. He'd wonder out loud to them if they were going to be big handsome boys like him or beautiful little ones like me – he was convinced that the buns I had cooking in the oven were going to be huge wolves. I had no problem with this as long as they got huge _after_ they left my body. He told them all about me when I was just a bitty puppy, which was a little odd. I think he could have left out the part where he explained that I'd kissed him when I was eleven and it was both shocking and revolting. He said it made him feel like a creep, but he felt like an even bigger one when he returned to the palace when I was sixteen and I'd gotten hot – his words not mine.

My wolf settled with his head rested on my hip and a hand on my stomach. "Sweetheart?" He mumbled.

"Mhmm?" I hummed while a chocolate melted on my tongue.

"What did I do to make you so upset with me?"

I shook my head. "I didn't say I was upset with you."

He tilted his head upwards and gave me a smirk. "You're my imprint, Ryan. I know you better than you know yourself. What kinda mate..." His voice trailed off so I tried to help him out.

"What kind of mate..." I started.

"No." He murmured as he lifted himself from me and scooted upwards to lean against the headboard with me, though not before he made me lean forward so he could place a fluffy pillow behind my back. "We're not..." He lost his voice for a second time.

"Mates." I finished for him.

Paul nodded. "We're not mates."

I rolled my eyes and gave him my own smirk while running hand over my bump that he left exposed. "Your sons say otherwise."

He furrowed his dark brows and shook his head. "It's all too surreal. Too perfect. I can't believe it." He tried to lighten the mood by smiling at me. "When I watch you holding our twins in your arms for the first time, when I see their faces, and hear their cries, that will be the day I say we're mates."

"Paul?" I breathed.

My wolf quirked a brow as he gazed my way. "Ryan?" He playfully replied.

"When the boys are born you don't have to say we're mates if that's not what you think we are. I mean, mates are kinda a forever thing... I don't want you to say anything you could regret."

"Ah," Paul said as his eyes widened in understanding. "So that's what all those tears were about earlier." He lifted his hand and held my jaw gently with his thumb and forefinger with his palm facing upwards. "Angel," He sighed with goofy grin. "You're kinda my forever thing."

He went to kiss me, but I frowned and pulled away. "Is that you or the imprint talking?"

His hand dropped and his eyebrows rose. "Why does everybody give me such a hard time about that? Nobody questions your father's love for your dad, and what about your grandparents, huh? Seth was fourteen-fucking-years-old when he imprinted on Jasper who was older than him by multiple centuries. The leech couldn't keep his hands off the pup; they were all over each other by the time Seth was fifteen. What's that all about? Even if I was well I'd have never touched you at that age no matter how much you tried to get me to. Hell, I was conflicted about it when you were seventeen," He gave me that goofy grin again, "And if it weren't for the fact that I knew you are my kinda forever thing I never would have put my hands on you in the first place."

With doe-eyes I tenderly smiled. "You knew that so soon?"

"Ryan," He chuckled as he turned his body towards me and pushed the chocolates aside. "I knew that since our first kiss. I _love_ you and no part of me doubts that. I swear that you'd be just as much mine even without the imprint."

"You think?" I queried.

Paul nodded and reached out to run the back of his knuckles along my cheek. I couldn't resist him and I leaned into the touch. "I know so. If I was born a native to Australia and a fucking _dingo_ instead of a wolf I'd bet nothing but instincts would lead me to you. I'd be swimming my tail across the south pacific to Chile. From there I'd run through Bolivia, Brazil, and Colombia."

My smile turned into an excited grin. "Then Panama, Costa Rica, and Nicaragua." I added.

My wolf chortled and kissed my lips. "After that I'd make my way through Honduras and Guatemala, then finally Mexico which will lead me straight to the kingdom and to the love of my fucking life!"

I laughed out loud and hugged my wolf tight. "Imagine that, we'd be having hybrid puppies. Dingo and wolf pups, they'd be the absolute cutest!"

He shook his head. "I'm going to have to disagree. The ones we have on the way will be."

I innocently shrugged. "You never know, there's always a chance that we might make really ugly babies together." I teased.

Paul laughed and very carefully manoeuvered me so I was sitting between his legs with my back against his chest. "If that's the case, it's your fault." He jested while resting his hands on my belly.

I gazed over my shoulder at my wolf with an air of incredulity. "Tell me you didn't just call your pregnant fiance ugly. Which do you want to lose, your balls or your life?"

He smiled charmingly. "I didn't call _you_ ugly, just the genes you're passing on."

My brows rose and with a small huff of breath I faced forward. "If our pups are hideous little gremlins I blame you."

Paul chuckled and kissed his way up the side of my neck. "You shouldn't. I am a purebred after all... I'm basically perfect in every way." He arrogantly boasted.

I snorted in amusement and rolled my eyes. "Yeah, but I'm an alpha after all... I'm basically superior to you in every way." Two could play this game. "Plus, I'm a prince which makes me better than, like, everybody!"

"I'll be a prince soon enough and better than, _like_, everybody as well!" He effeminately exclaimed, mocking my speech. Jerk.

I furrowed my brows. "And such a sexy prince at that." I lasciviously drawled. I seriously couldn't help myself. It was so damn true.

He nibbled on my earlobe and goosebumps rose on my skin. "Clearly we're so far out of everyone's league we're untouchable." He murmured by my ear and gently turned my face so I was looking at him. "We must have been made for each other." Despite him being so cheesy I let him capture lips with a kiss. Ha, let him! I couldn't stop him if I tried! It's not that he'd ever force himself on me, I was just physically incapable of denying myself him for a second time. I'd pulled away once already. I'd consider myself mentally incompetent if I did it again.

Paul's lips were warm, inviting, and dangerously intoxicating. I was addicted and I needed so much more of him. I turned my body without breaking the kiss and climbed to his lap to straddle it. I wrapped my arms around his neck just as I ground my butt against his crotch. It got him to moan into my mouth which sent a shiver of satisfaction up my spine.

He reached around me and kneaded my two round cheeks in either of his palms while his lips strayed from mine to nip and suck at my neck. "Take your clothes off for me, angel." He lustfully mumbled in request. "Give me a show."

I was just about to oblige, but my stomach rumbled and I suddenly felt rather hungry. "Can we have dinner first, then sex?"

"_But_," My wolf quite literally whined. "You just ate," He reached out for the box of chocolates only for his eyes to widen and me to furiously blush. "Twenty-four fucking chocolates!"

I shook my head with a humiliated little pout on my face. "Nuh-uh, twenty-three. See," I said as I pointed to the box in his hand. "One left."

He plucked it from the box and tossed the packaging aside. "You gonna eat it?"

I shook my head for a second time. "No. Honestly, I'd probably puke if I did."

"Nothing new about that..." He grumbled before popping the chocolate into his mouth.

"I'll have you know being pregnant is not nearly as fun as it looks." My words were drenched in sarcasm and Paul just smiled at me as he chewed. "I'm quite willing to trade places if you want. I'd love to see you have two _living_ beings growing inside you. I doubt you'd do it so gracefully and with such ease."

"Gracefully!" He snorted with a roll of his eyes. "Are you drunk or just high? You are neither graceful nor eased, dear."

I copied his actions by rolling my eyes as well. "Yes, _dear_, I'm pretty smashed right now. Can't you tell?"

Paul grinned and poked at my stomach. I didn't at all appreciate it. "Actually, that would explain the beer belly and the vomiting. As for the tears and all that whining you do, I think that's just you being a little bitch, perhaps literally?" My jaw dropped and he continued on. "Do you have your period, sweetie?"

I glared angrily at my wolf. "I have the strongest urge to kill you right now." I warned him.

There's that charming smile again. "With kisses?"

"More like with a knife through your heart." I deadpanned.

"That's hardly romantic."

"Calling me a little bitch isn't either!" I exclaimed in complaint while getting off his lap and sitting on the edge the bed with my back facing him.

"I was joking, Ryan." Paul told me while he pushed himself away from the headboard and leaned forward to put a hand on my shoulder. I hit it away from me.

"It wasn't funny." I grouched.

He sighed, obviously annoyed. "To you." He quipped. I lifted my hand and gave him the middle finger. "I just fucking tried! What's with you women and your mixed signals?!"

With raised brows I glanced over my shoulder. "You truly have a death wish."

"That offends you too? Why can't I call you a woman?" He questioned as he slid to my side and placed his grey socked feet on the floor. "You're just as much female as you are male."

"I'm also an alpha, Paul. I identify as male and it makes feel like less of a man when you say that kinda crap."

He cocked a brow. "And calling yourself a mother doesn't?"

My shoulders slumped and I met his bright brown eyed gaze. "Okay, _fine_, maybe I don't entirely identify as a male." I sighed in defeat and I grabbed his hand to hold it tightly on my lap. "Paul," I said with an air of sadness in my tone. "I can honestly say I have never wanted to be a dad. Although, I always thought I'd have to be – I needed an heir and I wanted to make you happy." My eyes dropped to my stomach and I found myself suddenly smiling as I ran a hand over my rounded belly. I wasn't huge by any means, but I was definitely looking pregnant. "Things turned out so much better than I ever could have hoped. I never have to be a father."

"Because you're a mother?"

I flicked my eyes back to my wolf and nodded. "Exactly. Knowing we created puppies together and having my body taking care of them and keeping them safe inside me, it feels special... _intimate_. I shouldn't be experiencing any of this, yet here I am with twins on the way. I know mom and dad are just labels, but I want the mom one. I feel like I've earned it."

Paul smiled at me and sweetly kissed my temple. "You've earned it, angel." He murmured to me before giving me another kiss, though this time on my cheek. "You're going to be the perfect mother."

"Whoa whoa! Slow down there, tiger!" I playfully interjected with my hands up. "I'm not going to be the perfect anything, ever."

My wolf laughed. "God, I love you, Ryan. You're so adorable. I didn't mean what I said in the slightest; I was just trying to boost your confidence. You know, like a good fiance and talented lover would do."

I cocked my head and pinched my eyebrows together – I didn't know whether to feel insulted or relieved. "Thank you?"

He shook his head and tried to subtly scoot his hand from my thigh to my dick. "No verbal thank you is necessary. You may express your appreciation by treating me to oral and/or sex until I climax." He gave me playful smirk. "Did I mention I'm a talented lover?"

"Paulie..." I huffed. "I'm hungry."

His eyes brightened. "For cock?"

"No, _not for cock_." I denied while crossing my arms. "The longer we sit here the longer you're starving me and your poor innocent little puppies. I bet their teensy tummies are rumbling."

"Hey, don't accuse me of that bullshit! I just offered you a light snack that's very high in protein."

I gave my head a shake. "You're disgusting." I grumbled.

Paul nudged my shoulder with a deviant sparkle in his eye. "That's not what you said last night. You said-"

"Oh my god!" I exasperatingly exclaimed in interruption. "Take your fucking pants off and I'll suck your damn dick!"

"Now now, no need to be testy." He condescendingly chided as he stood. "I've got the patience of a gentleman. I can wait. Let's go get you and my babies fed."

Dinner that evening was great and full of innuendos. Truthfully, it was the best time we had together since learning about the pregnancy. I found myself floating on cloud nine that night, but reality hit me like a ton of bricks and I fell to the ground with a harsh thump in the morning. What I initially thought was a note on the bedside table was actually a label. I ripped it off and found my wolf in the closet – he'd reorganized all his things and had moved onto my side. I yelled. I yelled so loud my throat hurt and Paul looked like he was seconds away from shitting himself the whole entire time. He could go ahead and be a grump from time to time, he could distance himself from me when he needed space and smother me when he wanted no space at all – I could handle that, though reverting to his past self-destructive behaviour I couldn't.

Of course yelling didn't really help any, and in retrospect all did was alleviate some of my stress and pass it onto Paul. However, I do think the volume of my voice projected that I wasn't pleased with his behaviour. I'm sure I could have conveyed that in a better way. I was just frustrated. I didn't like how he could go from hot to cold so quickly and without any notice. It scared me. I didn't want to take care of two puppies along with Paul.

That's so selfish, I know it is, but I just can't fathom doing it. How was I supposed to bathe, feed, and care for my sons when I needed to keep my sights on Paul to make sure things don't go spiralling out of control? I guess it's possible. I'm sure people do it. I just don't want to be one of them. I'd do it, of course I would. I'd never leave my man uncared for and he'll always have me to look out for him; that's a fact. I just hope that whatever has my wolf so bent out of shape will be straightened out by time the twins get here.

Paul is trying. I know he is and I've got to give him credit for that. He's not shutting down completely, he's allowing me in and I'm exceptionally thankful for that. He spending an extra hour at therapy each day, but I really don't know how much it's helping. Although, he has gotten to the point where he's able to tell me when he's worked up and anxious, which is when he feels compelled to organize his surroundings. I just hold him when he's like that. I hold him as tight as I can. Sometimes he'll curse me to hell and back, while others he's quiet and teary, yet there's the rare times when sex is the perfect distraction. The times he was teary were the worst. It always reminded me of when I held him on his single bed back at the palace. I never wanted to repeat that and I was so petrified that I one day would.

I knew my wolf would never be cured. I know he likes to think he is, but this is good proof that he isn't. I'm just glad he's not shutting down and I've never once been denied his lips or body when I've wanted them. Although, I've never tried to initiate anything when he's been in a foul mood. _However_, that hasn't stopped him from going after it; I'd be a fool to turn him down, but lately it's become a bit of a habit. When I feel like puking I don't want to suck his dick and when I have gas – I thought pregnancy was supposed to be a beautiful thing – I really _really_ don't want to have sex.

I've read far too many of those 'what to expect when you're expecting' books that Dr. Cullen has suggested. I've thoroughly frightened myself, and I pray, I seriously fucking pray that hemorrhoids don't become an issue. I've read that constipation is one of the most frequent complaints amongst pregnant women and hemorrhoids happen when straining ensues in an attempt to go to the bathroom. The more you know, eh? It's a good thing I was beginning to get used to Paul frequently asking about my bowels before we found out that he's a potent virile stud and I'm a young fertile dame since now he asks about my back end multiple times a day. Once is enough, but he doesn't seem to get that. Oh well, in a weird way it makes me feel loved and him at ease.

One thing that has been obsessively bothering me is _why_ the sudden shift in my wolf's attitude. How come he was having such low moments? What was on that mind of his? Something bad was going on inside that head of his and it hurt that he wouldn't open up and tell me about it. I nagged him about it more than I care to admit. I _needed_ to know. I couldn't help him if I didn't know, but he always used the pregnancy as an excuse. Apparently, I didn't need the added stress of knowing what was going on. I had to figure the stress of not knowing was far worse – he didn't see it that way.

At first I wondered if our puppies had triggered something, but I quickly came to the conclusion that was the one thing that was keeping Paul sane. He's gone into full blown daddy mode, and he spends his Saturdays from dusk to dawn in Nahuel's workshop at his home. Actually, my whole pack does, including Laurent, and I have to say, my sons are going to be the most spoiled princes... the most loved princes too. They've already got a pack of wolves slaving away for them. Paul wanted to get started on the nursery right away. I thought it was a bit soon, but I didn't try to stop him either. I also thought furniture from Ikea or the like would do just fine. My wolf was appalled and insisted that the heirs to the kingdom deserved better than that – I didn't bother protesting, it would have been absolutely futile. However, I was a little excited that Paul and everybody was building everything needed. It seemed special; it felt like the furniture was going to be handed down from generation to generation and it all started with me and my wolf. I was proud, exceedingly so.

Telling my alphas that I was pregnant had to be one of the hardest things I've ever done. Well, to be more accurate watching Paul boast that he's going to be a daddy while shoving ultrasound pictures in all their faces had to be one of the hardest things I've had to witness. I thought they'd be pissed... embarrassed... humiliated because they practically submitted to a girl – not that there is anything technically wrong with that, but we're wolves, men lead, and the best of those men lead other men. I didn't think I fit the criteria of being the best and having an ambiguous gender and puppies inside me made me feel less than manly. Honestly, I felt like a fucking woman, especially when my alphas acted possessed and put their hands all over my stomach. Seriously, despite them all being straight, well, mostly, Eric likes to flip flop, it was the gayest thing ever! My home became a hen house and three of the largest wolves I've ever seen turned into little puddles of mush as they fawned over me. I actually wanted my wolf to get jealous of their hands touching me and tell them to back off, yet he had the biggest shit eating grin on his face and a look in his eyes that said, "Yeah, bitches, take a good hard look at what my cock and balls did!"

I suppose I could have told them to get away from me, but I kinda... _sorta_... liked it. The alpha in me was appalled, though the hormonal pregnant me was revelling in it and even thought about asking for a foot rub. It was too uncomfortable, though. I wasn't ready for such things yet. I figured once I was so big I've lost sight of my junk I'd throw my pride to wind and ask for little things like that just so I could feel more relaxed. They'd do it too, I know they would; they're good like that.

My alphas were ridiculously excited to be 'uncles' as they called themselves and they bragged incessantly that they were going down in history because of everything they got to be a part of. Although, nothing could beat Nahuel's enthusiasm. His hero was naming his son after him – for that wolf, I don't think there was any greater honour than that. He helps out a lot and comes by quite often even though he spends most of the day with Paul. Just like me, he knows something is up. He said he has an idea what it is, though Paul hasn't been clear, he's hinted at things – none of which Nahuel was willing to share with me. Of course I could order him to, but that wasn't fair to either him or Paul. I liked to think if my wolf didn't want me knowing something there had to be a good reason for it. It just sucks that he won't let me help him.

Nahuel and Paul did a lot of running together out in the forest in their wolf form. I longed to run with them, though Dr. Cullen strictly told me no running and I wasn't about to argue. It made me feel like absolute crap to run. I know Paul would get annoyed with all the guards following him around and do think he and Nahuel spent most of their time out in the woods trying to lose them. They never did. The guards did their jobs well.

If I had to take a wild guess as to what's going on with Paul, I'd say it had something to do with my parents, or at least that was a contributing factor. There were all sorts of fishy things going on over at the palace. I think my whole family believes I'm some sort of imbecile. I see the shifty looks gramps and Emmett send my way, I hear the whispers, and the fact that my parents have been MIA for what feels like forever now seems like quite the in your face sort of clue. When it comes to family, my dad hovers, yet he's nowhere to be found, and don't even get me started about my sister. Military school, really? I knew she could be a little difficult... or a lot difficult. Our relationship was strained, but I loved her dearly and she seemed so happy when I told her about my pregnancy at the hospital. It gave me hope that things were going to get better between her and I, plus she had a boyfriend I wanted to meet. Jay-Jay or something.

She spent a good hour with me at the hospital while I waited for test results. I talked nonstop about my puppies and all the fears I had regarding them, while she talked just as much about this boy... man... vampire apparently. Dad seemed rather pleased about it too, so I knew she was in good hands if he approved. _Yet_, the very next day father shipped her off to military school with little to no explanation and he's been a jerk ever since. He's clearly at odds with dad – goodness knows dad wouldn't approve of his princess being sent away, so I had to figure father did it without his consent. We still have family dinners on Sundays, but they're more than awkward with all the elusive looks being sent my way. Also, father is being petty and won't join when dad is there.

I felt like a little kid stuck in the middle of his parent's divorce. I knew they'd never actually split. Eventually father would get horny enough that he'd go grovelling to his mate and they'd have makeup sex so loud the whole palace could hear. Yeah, I don't miss that. Anyway, Sundays were alternating. One Sunday it'd be with my dad and then next it was with my father. My pregnancy has been put on the back burner and nobody has really mentioned it besides gramps and Emmett congratulating me for being an idiot and a teenage statistic. I don't know why everyone thought Paul and I should have been using condoms. We're both clean as a whistle and it's not like pregnancy ever crossed my mind.

Uncle Emmett even gave me a card. It said, and I quote, "I can't say I ever fathomed this coming, or Paul for that matter. Once you pop the fun don't stop, am I right? Yeah, I know, bad joke. I didn't know what sort of card was appropriate for this occasion, hence the reason it says get well soon with a cat on the front. I figured cats were pretty neutral and get well soon seemed reasonable. I'm not saying pregnancy is an ailment, but it seems plausible that you'd have quite the case PTSD after getting the news – I know I would. I wish you all the best, kiddo. You know your uncle Emmy is here for you whenever you need me. I'm only a phone call away, _but _try not to call between eight and ten, both AM and PM. That's when me and your aunt Rosie are... bonding, as in I'm getting laid; ya feel me, bro? So, man to man, don't call then. Emergencies only. I love you, pup. You're welcome for the breast pump, no need to thank me!" _Yes_, he did get me a fucking breast pump! God only knows why. I think he just wanted to see me squirm in front of my family after I opened the gift. I prayed I'd never need to use the thing. I think so far so good – no breasts yet, nor any tenderness. With any luck I'm in the all clear.

My family was a little upsetting. Nothing was going how I imagined it would be. I expected my dad would be going puppy crazy and would be making visits almost every day to give me endless lectures on infants along with telling me I needed to get rid of just about everything in my house because it'll be a hazard to my little alien princes once they're walking. I even expected father to come around more, but he hasn't. I'm stuck making the effort, and I call my parents all the time. Perhaps too much, but when I call their cells it always goes straight to voice mail and when I call the palace they're either out or too busy to come to the phone and talk with me – my dad has never in all my life been too busy to talk to me, so why now? He hasn't even come over to my house... not even once since the 'good news'.

The only time I see my dad is on his Sundays and, honestly, I felt a little heartbroken. Even during the few hours dad was close to me he seemed a million miles away. I thought things would be better between us since I apologized, but I guess that's karma for you. Now it's him that wants nothing to with me, or even Paul for that matter. They went from spending tons of time together to hardly looking at one another from across the dinner table. They do hug, though. When we're about to leave they tend to linger in an embrace while whispering things to each other. I've never been able to catch any of the words. It felt a little strange, but I didn't question it any.

Eric keeps saying I need to lighten up. Apparently my dad had been visiting lots with that guard Jay-Jay at some academy way up north and on the east coast. The alpha said he was there for some special training, but none of it really made sense to me. Why would my dad be visiting some guard, even if he had been previously seeing my sister? I'll admit, father was looking a little sickly last time I saw him and just like my dad I only saw him on his designated Sunday. Although he cancelled his last one, so it was nearing three weeks since I'd seen him last. I'll give him some credit, he does call, rarely, yet he does. Maybe my dad really was spending too much time away from the palace that it was making my father ill.

However, it wasn't because of some guard named Jay-Jay. I'd brought this guy up with Paul and asked if he knew about him. He did. I asked if he knew him. He did. I asked if my dad had said anything about visiting this vampire at some academy. My wolf said that was impossible since my father charged the vampire with treason the day we found out about the pregnancy. I was flabbergasted to say the least and it stung to hear that my sister had gotten herself mixed up in it knowing full well what this guy had going on, which is exactly why my father sent her away. According to Paul my parents had contrasting views on the man, though ultimately father got his way when guards took his side over my dad's.

My wolf told me to not mention any of this to Eric since the guard had been a good friend of his. That explanation didn't really sit well with me. Not only had Eric never mentioned him much prior, and he has brought over friends to my house plenty of times, but it didn't feel right to hide what his 'friend' did. In the end I had no intention of saying anything, I mean, Eric wasn't brain dead – I think he'd notice after awhile that this guy Jay-Jay isn't coming back.

I regret questioning Paul about what my father did to the guard. "An eye for an eye, over and over and over again." He told me. Curiosity got the best of me and I asked what that entailed. "Fire." Was all Paul said, and he turned oddly robotic with a blank look on his face. Both the way he was acting and that one word sent a shiver up my spine. "He's dead." He added as if someone had picked up a remote and pressed play. It felt forced.

I ran a finger along his jawline to snap him back to reality. "One of my parents told you that?"

He shook his head. "No, they've only said the opposite."

"Then why did you say he's dead?" I queried.

My wolf appeared extremely confused. "You told me that."

I furrowed my brows and gave my head a shake in denial. "I never said anything like that."

"Sure you did, when you found me upset in the ba-" He cut his sentence short and his face slightly brightened like a light bulb had turned on inside his head, signalling that someone was finally home. "I'm completely mistaken, angel. Don't listen to me." I dropped the subject after that. I was freaked out and was left in a state of paranoia. I didn't know what to think and I hate fucking coincidences because there's always a chance they might not be! This Jay-Jay guy was charged with treason, and it had something to do with fire. Eric was apparently close to him, yet never mentioned him. It seems like Paul knew him a fair bit too and never mentioned anything either. Also, before my sister was sent away, she never talked about the guard except that one time, she talked about _James_.

Absolutely nothing added up and all this led to now. I sat on the little wooden dock out in my back yard with Eric at my side. Our feet were in the water and he kept his eyes on Katie who paddled around on an inner tube. I thought it was cute how the alpha had a long rope tied to its plastic handle and the other end of the rope tied to the dock so his daughter wouldn't accidentally float away downstream.

Guards stood around the large and lush gardens behind us that I actually didn't mind weeding... so long as my wolf was right there with me helping out. It was something a little lame that we did every Sunday morning which I looked forward to. He trimmed the things that needing trimming, mowed what needed mowing, and since I was pregnant Paul would hardly let me pick up anything heavier than a feather. He didn't even like me lugging the laundry basket down the stairs – it's heavy, I might fall, I could kill myself! He didn't care about me tumbling down the stairs _before_ I was carrying his spawn..._ Anyway_, I got on my hands and knees – exactly what got me into this mess in the first place – and planted flowers and tore out the weeds. I didn't argue my duties. I didn't have a hope in hell that Paul would let me push around a lawn mower or use the weed whacker, plus I didn't particularly want to. At the palace when I was just a young pup I used to love to drive around one of those riding mowers. It went pretty slow, but I always pretended I was in some race car driving for my life, that is until I ran over a bunny. You can't imagine my horror when I saw all the blood and guts sprayed out behind me. After that, I didn't want to mow the lawn anymore.

The river was calm like it so often was and nothing but trees and mountains could be seen beyond it. It was beautiful... _majestic_, and the sound of flowing water and singing birds only added to the tranquillity of it all. I couldn't believe I was only months away from raising a family here. I really couldn't imagine a better place for one. It would have been even nicer if it was ten or so years from now, but I wasn't about to complain. It was impossible. I truly had it all, yet I only wished I could invite the entire world here to enjoy everything with me.

I broke the silence by talking to Eric. "Hey, what does that guard look like? The one Paul said you're good friends with, what's his name again?" I knew damn well what his name was, I just wanted to sound somewhat disinterested and play it cool.

He shrugged, keeping his eyes glued to Katie. "Jay-Jay, and I dunno, like a leech."

"Well, is he hot?" I queried.

"Umm," He hummed as he thought about it. He ended up shrugging again. "Would a princess be into an ugly guy?"

I rolled my eyes with a sigh. If he was nice enough, probably. "What colour is his hair then? What kind of build did he have?"

"Blond, and a lot like your dad's, but a bit more muscular." I wanted to think this sounded a lot like James, yet I had to make myself think rationally. There has to be millions of guys just like that in the kingdom

"What kinda hairstyle did he have?"

Eric furrowed his brows. "Longish. What's with the twenty questions?" He asked. So much for sounding disinterested.

It was my turn to shrug. "I want to know about the guy who was banging my sister."

He snorted with a laugh and reluctantly tore his sight from his daughter to meet my gaze. "I can guarantee he didn't sleep with her. He's, like, I don't know, the commitment sort, so it doesn't surprise me that he took off the first opportunity he got when Rachel left for school. He was probably pretty torn up about it."

"Oh..." I didn't like how his answers were only making me more suspicious. "Have you heard from him?" I knew he hadn't, I was just hoping he'd tell me how he felt about it.

"Nah." He said with a shake of his. "Paul told me it's a military sort of place. So, you know, secret stuff is going on there, and the rules say Jay-Jay isn't allowed phone calls or visits, besides the king of course, until his training is done." The alpha frowned sadly with a slight sigh. "It stung something harsh that he didn't at least say bye. I thought we were closer than that, but I guess he's never been one to take rejection well. Maybe it was like a fight or flight response." His frown disappeared and a mischievous little smirk upturned his lips. "If that's the case, it's in everybody's best interest that he chose flight."

"Yeah, why's that? Has he got some crazy powers? Lit anybody on fire in the last year or two?" I wasn't even trying to be subtle anymore. I _needed_ to know if I was crazy or not. It seriously felt like everybody knew something that I didn't. I kept looking around me not knowing who to trust and what was being kept from me. Between Eric, Paul, and my family's behaviour, I knew something was up – there was simply no denying it. Maybe I was pulling at threads here and trying to create a miracle, yet my life happens to be full of them, so what's one more? _Please let me have one more_.

Eric's eyes widened like he was deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. "Uh..." That was all I needed to hear, or not hear. He was incapable of forming an answer.

I roughly hit the alpha's arm and he flinched in pain. It was meant to be playful, but my head was all muddled. "I'm just screwing with you!" I told him with a feigned bout of laughter.

"Yeah..." He nodded, looking a little clueless. "_Yeah_, I knew that."

I smiled at Eric because I was certain if I didn't do something with my face I'd crack. I'd cry like a baby and that wouldn't get me anywhere. "What does Jay-Jay stand for?" I wasn't asking, I was demanding he tell me, but at least the demand sounded like a friendly one and entirely nonthreatening. Then again, I didn't really think I was capable of being all that threatening.

My alpha swallowed apprehensively and my fingers gripped tightly to Paul's black basketball shorts I was wearing. His jaw clenched, he was trying to hold back the name, yet he was seconds away from failing. Eric's face turned an odd shade of red from the exertion of hold it in and his eyes squeezed shut while my heart thumped rapidly in my chest in anticipation. "James." He groaned through gritted teeth and my whole world instantly fell silent except for the sound of my own blinking. I heard the name with my own two ears, although I could for a second believe it. It was far too good to be true.

"And his last name?" I breathed in demand.

With a heavy exhale of breath Eric's eyes opened and stared square into mine. "Yorkie."


	69. HELP NEEDED

**PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ**

I am in desperate need of some honest answers to a few questions I'm about to ask and I really hope some of you are willing to help me out. I know that somewhere along the line this story went all wrong. I know it's not very good, and it's becoming harder and harder for me to write. The truth is the only reason I haven't ditched this story is because I don't want to let the people down who may still be enjoying it. Almost from the start I was getting some very negative reviews and I kept trying to change things in an effort so people would enjoy the story more, yet I only accomplished the opposite of my intentions. Basically, I deviated from my original story line (something I really regret) in the hopes that it would get a better reaction, but I ended up with this, which feels like a huge monster. This isn't the story I had planned or wanted.

Anyway, here I am asking for some constructive criticism, so please take the time to help me out. You have no idea how much I'd appreciate it.

Questions:

1. Are you disappointed with this story? If so, why?

2. Was there a particular point in the story where you felt it was going downhill? If so, when?

3. Are you happy with this story? If so, why?

4. Do you have any favourite characters? If there is, why do like them?

5. Is there any characters you dislike? If there is, why don't you like them?

6. Would you be upset if I discontinued the story?

7. If I discontinued the story would you want a rewrite? If so, what would you like to see happen? What would you absolutely not want to see happen?

Thank you in advance if you choose to answer a few or all of the questions. I really need the help and if you have any other feedback you'd like to give me please don't hesitate to either PM or leave it in the comments.


	70. UPDATE

**PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO READ**

I hate to say it, but I am done with this story. I know a lot of you wanted me to continue, though after receiving so much negative feedback I've got absolutely no will to continue. Whether I'll take the story down, I'm not sure. I don't want people to read it. I'm honestly embarrassed by it, but I feel like I'd be tossing away all the reviews and they truly mean a lot to me, especially regarding the questions I asked. I didn't think so many of you would come together to give me the feedback I needed and I can't thank you all enough for it. I wish I could respond to each and everyone of you, but there's just no way. I got countless PM's and many reviews full of honest opinions, and even though a lot of them hurt to read I appreciated every single one of them. Thank you!

I'm not sure if any of you are interested, but I'll give you a quick summary of how the story would have ended. Edward wasn't ignoring Ryan, instead Jacob in his rage had him staying in purgatory. He felt deceived and didn't feel he could trust his husband or the things he might be up to. Although, he did let Ed come up every second Sunday to visit with Ryan and people. During this time Ed never saw James, and both Ed and Paul believed Jake was torturing James with fire. Jake threatened to do so. There's an incinerator down in purgatory to get rid of bodies of prisoners who die and Jake had the vampire placed in that with that blindfold him came to the palace with on along with all his other senses blocked. When it came time to burn the leech, not kill though, Jake couldn't do it. He knew if he did he'd lose his imprint entirely. However, he imagined it happening it great detail, and so much so he could smell the scent of burning leech in the air and hear James' screams. Ed believed this is what happened. Jake knew this, and he did it every few days. He was furious with his husband and if he could at least make Ed feel the betrayal he felt he was satisfied. Jake also never visited Ed. He made himself ill.

Anyway, Ryan confronts a sickly Jake, they have a heart to heart, and Ryan convinces his father to release Ed. Blah blah blah, Ryan's a little resentful, but learns he was never told about James because the vampire didn't want him to know about him. He's incredibly hurt, and he's also angry with Paul. But, whatever, they sort things out after Ryan kicks him out for the night. James doesn't get released, but stays where Jake was keeping him, the room in purgatory Ed gave him. No harm came to James, except for the initial beating Jake gave him in front of Ed and Rachel when he first learnt of him. Rachel doesn't come back from school, she loves it there. She has lots of friends now and they go out and do exciting things like river rafting, camping, rock climbing etc.. Over the phone she thanks James profusely. She says he kept his promise and because of him she finally has the freedom she's always wanted. He wants to fight for her, but she doesn't want him to. She wants to live, have fun, and meet cute boys along the way. He understands, it really hurts him, but he lets her go. He loved her, but he wasn't in love with her. He moves on.

Ryan has his puppies, and when Paul sees him holding them he finally admits they're mates. Ryan imprints. All it took was Paul letting his guard down completely and allowing fate to guide the way instead of fighting it. Ryan's wolf was finally able to connect with Paul's on an intimate level. Blah blah blah, love love love. They get married years later when the boys can be part of the wedding. James and Ryan never really reconnect, but he is his best man and by that time they're brothers. In the beginning Jake didn't trust the vampire whatsoever and when he wasn't in his room down in purgatory the king was glued to his side to keep an eye on him. After awhile they learn in many ways they are a lot alike and easily find things to laugh about with each. Yadda yadda yadda, they bond and Edward gets what he wants, to have James in their family. Both kings sign the adoption papers. Though, even as a prince he keeps on doing guard work, sort of, he does tons of secret stuff for the kings. He's a huge asset to the kingdom. So, yeah, he meets his happily ever after at the wedding after he has spent a few years being single, during which he was finally able to let go of Ryan. Also, Ryan invites a special someone to the wedding, Eric's biological dad. As for Ed and Jake, they take time to reconnect. It's like high school for those two. Jake courts Ed. They go out on dates, etc. They don't share a room for a long time, but of course the fire in Jake's loins runs deep... same goes for his heart... and the kings eventually rekindle what they once had. After all of this there was going to be an epilogue 15 years in the future, but all that stuff doesn't really matter. THE END.

Will I do a rewrite? As of right now, no. However, if one day I do, it won't resemble this story whatsoever.

I thank you all for sticking with me for as long as you did and I'm sorry I disappointed so many of you. But, alas, you live you learn, right? I definitely know how _not_ to write a story now. Keep a watch out, though. I'm not going anywhere; I've got a Jacob/Edward story in the works and I'd love for you all to check it out when I post it! It should be up within a week or two.

Again, thank you!


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